The Cologne Podcast

#310 - Tom Ford's New Bois Pacifique

• Myke & Ryan • Season 6 • Episode 310

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Ever had one of those days where everything seems to go hilariously wrong? That's exactly what happened to us, from tire troubles on the road to a close encounter with an impatient driver flaunting a "Cattitude" bumper sticker. Yet, this quirky adventure led us to an unexpected treasure at a department store: a sample of Tom Ford's latest fragrance, Bois Pacifique. We chat about our first impressions and take a nostalgic detour with a "one night stand" review of Van Cleef and Arpels Tsar, a scent that takes us back to the classic masculine vibes of yesteryear.

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Ryan:

hello everybody, welcome to the cologne podcast I'm mike, I'm ryan.

Myke:

We're two best friends. We're going on a fragrance journey smelling relatively new tom fords, and giving you our uneducated opinion, we went to town today.

Ryan:

Yes, I found out, I got a couple of nails in my front right tire. Yuck, that was fun, yes, and now you're riding around on a donut. I am because I'm contemplating, because I'm I don't want to buy just one tire, so I'm like I've got to let he wants to collect the whole stuff.

Ryan:

Gotta catch them all, yeah, but after we had the donut put on, uh, from discount tire also nice people. But my god, I was not in for the sticker shock that I thought I was going to be for tires Tires be expensive. Long story short, we also made a positive out of the trip. We went to our favorite store in the mall and saw one of our favorite young ladies there and she immediately ran up to us while talking to another customer and handed us two carded samples of a brand new Tom Ford Boise Pacific. Geek, is that how you pronounce that? I fucked that up.

Myke:

You can say it that way, or you could say Boise Pacific that sounds better.

Ryan:

Let's roll with that Boise Pacific.

Myke:

Let me tell you what AFC Croatian has to say about this brand new Tom Ford. Go for it. Let me tell you what AFC Croatian has to say about this brand new Tom Ford. Go for it. What a surprise. A brand new release immediately getting downvoted on Frank Grantico. That's all I have to say.

Myke:

That is a thing though. Yeah, people not even smelling it, which now it's been out for a couple of months, so you know, people have got a chance to smell it. But at that time it was literally the first comment that people were just like I don't like this. I haven't even smelled it yet, I just don't like it.

Ryan:

So wild? They just can't let something be fun, can they no? It just speaks to the state of fragcom Also talking about fragile people, let me tell you this too On our way back from town, we pull out of sam's and there's a red light, yes, and I'm waiting there patiently and the light goes green. Uh-huh, you know, just somebody had to freaking honk, right behind you, the person behind you. It's been green less than two seconds less than two seconds and michael's like good.

Myke:

God, who's in such a fucking hurry?

Ryan:

behind us.

Myke:

And then they whip out in front and it's some dude with a bumper sticker that says Catitude on it. I was like am.

Ryan:

I getting fucking punked out by a guy driving a Mercedes I don't know, was that an E-Class SUV, I don't know With a Catitude bumper sticker. Who puts a bumper sticker on a fucking?

Myke:

Mercedes. By the way, he's got to let people know he has cats and an attitude God the guy was a fucking clown.

Ryan:

I almost wanted to follow him through every red light and as soon as it turned green, just fucking lay on it every fucking time, dude.

Myke:

We don't have time for that. We got to get back and smell Tom Ford's.

Ryan:

And that's what we're going to do today. But before we do, we got to give you that one night stand review of the fragrance that Jonathan Bleep sent us. Vintage decant of Van Cleef and Arpels Zarr Hit the music.

Myke:

Todd yeah.

Ryan:

One night stand review. Well, mike, after staying in bed, spending the night or two, yeah, with that old school masculine, don't give a damn man. Mm-hmm. That is not the same Van Cleef from the Spaghetti Westerns. What do you have to say about Zar Eh?

Myke:

it's not for me. Yeah, it smelled old school. Oh yeah, had that vintage vibe to it. Oh yeah, I think for the right person it's good For me, it's not. It's. You know, give me, I don't know, another 30-something years and maybe Whenever I'm wearing coveralls every day.

Ryan:

You don't like that, right there.

Myke:

And those like slip-on shoes every day. You don't like that right there. And those like slip-on shoes. Oh, I love the slip-on shoes. No, it smells dated. It's not bad, it's cool. It's a nice little trip down memory lane. It's a time capsule of fragrance.

Ryan:

I did say it was dated. I still agree with that, with you, and I think I said it was like a sample to like. If you just really want this, you know it's about. But I mean, later that night it was smelling good to me.

Myke:

We played some pool, yeah and you were like, hey, what do you think you're right? Yeah, I was like it still smells like you know. You're like I'm shocked, this isn't you. You don't like the soft, supple sweetness? No, I'm not, for me at least, I didn't't think it smelled bad.

Ryan:

It doesn't smell bad. It does smell old school. I think there's the right person out there. You rock the hell out of this shit. It does smell good, but I'd still say it's very much a sample. If you're just really wanting the nostalgic vibe, not a wear thing, and if you're just really horny for it, you're honked up then and yeah, get you a full bottle of it, spend six hundred dollars that's the difficult part about it.

Myke:

How are you going to sample this? You're gonna have to get a hold of jonathan bleep, yeah well, there you go.

Ryan:

Mike didn't like it that much and I loved it, but for only nostalgic reasons look, I'm not saying I didn't like it, I'm just saying it's not me.

Myke:

No, I think it smells cool. You know, I wouldn't be shocked if we had some vintage brute that smelled very similar man. He crazy as hell Today is a brute day.

Ryan:

Okay, let's get into this new one. I'm ready. Let's get into it. Mike, do the honors, because you know what. You stopped me from being an asshole to the young lady.

Myke:

That is right. You want to give them that scoop.

Ryan:

You do it because you kind of knew what she.

Myke:

I kind of vaguely heard what she said, and then I Just sniffing it in the air, so you know, we're walking through and of course we're celebrities around here and she just comes out of the wings and hands us the carded samples of this and she goes now I've got to head up to the front but here is the new Tom Ford that we're going to be getting in. And so she hands us a cart of samples and I'm like oh, thank you. And Ryan's like yeah, we really appreciate it. And actually I was. You know, we were trying to find and I was like Ryan, she's in the middle of something. And she's like I promise you I'll be right back. I really got it. I was like Jesus man.

Myke:

Might do that thing where it made me look like a real asshole.

Ryan:

No, you made yourself look like a real asshole. She's so nice. Thank you for doing this for us. Yeah, she's the best. This is unique. I don't know what the gentleman that you read. I don't know what gucci they're talking about. They said gucci, didn't they? I didn't say anything. No, I thought you said it was rehashing something. No, I don't mind. Wait, oh, that was when I read. Sorry, that's my bad, that was when I read prior to the episode and it was locked up in my head look guys, it's been a shit day.

Ryan:

Okay, water pressure was low. Some pump at the wells around here went bad. Fucking have a flat tire. This morning found I gotta spend 800. Want to buy the full set of pokemon cards to fit my car.

Myke:

Yeah because you can't do just the one. Then they're going to wear weird yeah.

Ryan:

So I'm a little off kilter. Give me a fucking break, okay.

Myke:

Nobody's giving you a hard time about it.

Ryan:

This is unique, though I kind of like this. Yeah, I don't know, there's something almost kind of chlorinated on the skin or something.

Myke:

It does smell very powdery, smells very clean, yeah, and a very dry wood yeah, yeah, you're hitting something there powdery, clean, ultra dry wood yeah, that's kind of what it smells like. Just imagine uh-huh dry wood. Yes, big dry wood. Yes, big dry wood. Big dry wood. It's been sanded down, it's nice and smooth, and you powder it up. Powder it up, yeah, and it's clean. And then you just run your nose down it and that, my friends, is Bois Pacifique.

Ryan:

I don't hate it, but it does smell eccentric. Is that the right, maybe terminology for this one?

Myke:

Yeah, if you've been sniffing fragrances for a while, this kind of has that Andy Tower vibe? Hmm, okay, the Ado Desert to Moroccan or whatever it is. I think you're onto something. You know that vibe? Yeah, I feel the vibe Very clean, dry wood powder. I like it more on the tester strip than my hand. Okay, let me go to the tester strip. Here we go.

Ryan:

Yeah, it smells on the hand something kind of weird, almost chemically, to me.

Myke:

I don't know, I don't know it doesn't smell good on the hand, but I get what you're saying. It has a certain almost sourness to it. Yeah, it's, it's not vibing, but it's kind of it's almost smells metallic-y. Yes, okay, absolutely. I just pointed at him really firmly. Yeah, you were like pew, you gave me like finger guns, pew.

Ryan:

You're right, just not that whack. When I did it, mine was way cooler, oh yeah was it?

Myke:

Well, we need to get back to doing video of these episodes, just so people could see you're a fucking liar and it looked so dumb.

Ryan:

You want to know the price and popularity on this bad boy.

Myke:

I'm dying to know.

Ryan:

Popularity as of this recording 3.97. Okay. Out of like five votes 185 votes 185. So really low.97. Okay, out of like five votes, 185 votes 185.

Myke:

So really low, yeah, I mean it just came out technically, yeah, so it's not like readily available yeah.

Ryan:

Definitely not, which, by the way, I don't know if you guys have seen it. Somebody one of y'all sent to our Instagram and we all collectively shat ourselves Giorgio Armani's Aquadesio Elixir, what. I usually don't get hype for those dumbass add-on names that they do, but that one's got me pumped. Yeah, and you just said there's a new Le Mans coming out. That's an Elixir Intense Something like that.

Myke:

Yeah, don't quote me on that, I just know I saw that chris fragmental already has a review up, yeah, and he loved the elixir, and this one is like the next flanker. It's a flanker of the flanker and he did it. I can't remember the name, but I did watch it and, of course, it was a fabulous video because chris and chris does fabulous videos, and if they haven't done the Elixir Intense thing yet, that's coming, that will happen.

Ryan:

Yeah, that sounded so passable, right.

Myke:

So the Elixir Intense.

Ryan:

Price on this bad boy? Mm-hmm, it's Tom Ford, it's semi.

Myke:

Oh, buckle up bros. Yes, Wait, can I take a guess?

Ryan:

Yes, but let me make sure I have the size here. Okay, 50 mil $135.

Myke:

Wrong 160. Fuck.

Ryan:

Guess what 100 mil is 210. Close 240. Fuck, guess what a hundred mil is 210. Close 240. 240? You were off by $30 on both those, that's so weird?

Myke:

Well, that's the inflation we're experiencing. What's a carton of eggs? Usually Five bucks. No, it's 35 bucks.

Ryan:

Now there's like some crazy standoff. It's all like we're doing tariffs and everybody else is like, fuck you, we're doing tariffs, yeah exactly.

Myke:

We're gonna retaliate with tariffs on your tariffs.

Ryan:

It's a goddamn south park episode dude. It's insane. Meanwhile, we're all just trying to survive riding around on a goddamn donut.

Myke:

Yeah, smelling the boy pacifique, you know what?

Ryan:

I'm kind of coming around to this Does this smell like a ginger beer?

Myke:

No, what Really? Oh, on the card. Yes, you obsess over this card a lot.

Ryan:

I like a ginger beer smell. There's something about that Smells so good to me.

Myke:

Yes, you kind of get it, though I'm not crazy right, I do, on the card, get what you're saying. It's very reminiscent of plum japonais, which was also a Tom Ford yeah, wow, but on the skin dry, powdery. Are you a fan of it being so dry, dry. Well, when I cram my nose up in it, it's a bit much, but when I give it a little bit of a distance, which most people will, it's pretty good. Okay, I'm kind of liking it.

Ryan:

Who do you think would wear something like this? Hmm, who's able to pull this off flawlessly? No issues Flawlessly.

Myke:

It's fucking them. You know, when I smell this, maybe I just got them on the brain. Okay, because as of today it is exactly two weeks till I get on that aeroplane and go to Milan. Okay, I would like to see somebody like Tony wearing this. This would fit his vibe. Yeah, kind of soft-spoken, very polite, but very masculine Dude's, a fucking boxer guys. Yeah, very masculine, very proper, but there's a certain quiet mystique to it, a little danger to it, maybe. Yeah, maybe Clean cut, but dangerous.

Ryan:

Knock your freaking teeth out and then help you up.

Myke:

Yeah, kind of like how they made jake gyllenhaal's character on the new roadhouse yeah, I didn't like it did you like it.

Ryan:

It felt very cheesy I'm just waiting for the next thing, for Hollywood to remake. They're remaking everything, aren't they doing a new Labyrinth? Yeah, that's Robert Eggers. I mean, that has a chance. It's Robert Eggers, that's great. But I don't know, dude, does life suck for this generation of people? Is all we're going to get is fucking rehashes of everything in our life.

Myke:

Well is that necessarily making life suck? I mean, there's a million things, I guess. I think that life is hard and you choose to decide. Does it suck or does the purpose of life give it enough meaning to where it's enjoyable, like think about the video games that you've played, where there's a level that's extremely fucking difficult and you die a thousand times.

Ryan:

But there's enjoyment out of you know, progressing and growing and attaining something new. I think we'd both say that fucking level.

Myke:

Oh yeah, the hospital underground of Well. Getting down there first, Well yeah, and then the Rat King of Last of.

Ryan:

Us Part Two yeah, so grueling. And it's one of those times you finish this level. It takes forever, like 30 minutes, to finish that one level. And then you're like, oh God, I finally get what. I get something easy now. And it's like, no, it just got harder.

Myke:

Tenfold and they're like and this is real life, but it was actually very memorable. We loved it for that. Exactly that's what I'm talking about. I say this a lot to Ryan Life is going to be hard. You pick what hard it's going to be Dieting, exercising, exercising that's hard. But you know what else is hard being overweight and having your back and your knees hurt all the fucking time and feeling miserable. And then you know you eat the wrong thing and you make yourself fucking nauseous and sick all day. I mean, it's hard either way. Yeah, there's pain and sweat, but which hard do you want? Probably the healthier one? Yeah, exactly. So that's where I'm going to go with this. I think life is going to be hard, absolutely, but does it have to suck?

Ryan:

no, it depends on your perspective well, mike, maybe I'll have your perspective one day.

Myke:

Maybe that brain always empty, only available for instantaneous uh, knowledge, yeah I have to work really hard to think upon things past or future. Yeah, I'm very in the present. Maybe that's because I don't have the inner monologue and the you know my mind running down through rabbit holes yeah, mine goes fucking 50 different places Every second of the day, yeah.

Myke:

I'll be talking to you and I can tell that you're thinking about three other things. While I'm talking to you, swear to God, I cannot help it. And you'll say my kid was eating sushi last night. And I immediately picture your kid and I think immediately what the sushi she had looks like on the plate. And and I'm just like you know, um, illustrating the, the narrative that you're giving me. Yeah, me.

Ryan:

I'm taking what I'm illustrating, that. But I'm also illustrating like two bad things happening to me in my life.

Myke:

Maybe one good thing and like in your mind you're also talking to yourself going oh, maybe if this and that right oh yeah, that's how I might be going.

Ryan:

hey, you what? Maybe at lunchtime me and Mike can go get those $10 cheeseburgers. Yeah, I do love a $10 cheeseburger. We got a place that's got a pretty bad ass cheeseburger. But back to this burger we digress.

Ryan:

This is very dry, but I'm really liking it on the tester strip. It does kind of remind me of a ginger beer, kind of. Briefly going over the notes, top notes, cardi's mom, here's the one that throws me off. What the fuck is that one? I clicked it on accident, but uh oh, curcuma, is that like no human well, no, I clicked the wrong one. Oh, this one, sorry, sorry guys.

Myke:

Uh, I wouldn't even know how to pronounce it Exactly Akigala wood, yeah.

Ryan:

Woods and mosses Says its profile is a synthetic molecule reminiscent of patchouli with a hint of pepper and fine argo wood.

Myke:

Okay, you get it now. Yeah, that kind of makes sense. Gives it that earthy sort of quality.

Ryan:

Yeah, so it's got turmeric, frankincense, oak just straight up oak like oak tree iris, white, sandalwood, cedar, amber, vanilla. So there is like a lot of wood up in this and I can tell it is like very dry woodsy, like you were saying early on. I can't hate it.

Myke:

It smells unique, yes, but at the same time I feel like we've smelled three or four fragrances that in a blind test I couldn't pick this one out from. Really, absolutely, this one, yeah, hmm, Interesting, okay, guaranteed. You probably don't have them in your collection. I know you for sure don't. But I'm just saying in general, the majority vote out there is not going to have. So if you trust Tom Ford and you want to go that route, go that route. You want to get an Andy Tower, you can go that route.

Ryan:

Something makes me like this.

Myke:

It's nice. I am not denying that it is interesting.

Ryan:

Does it make you want to skip it?

Myke:

Sample it or buy it. What are you going to do, Ryan?

Ryan:

I'm going to sample this some more. When we were at the store today, when we were handing this, you sprayed on. I thought we smelled it before, but we were just like wow, it blew us away. Yeah.

Myke:

Or do our own Right. Yeah, not the parfum.

Ryan:

Just do our own and it was very woodsy but very kind of elegant and it wouldn't dry like this. But I smell this now and it's like part of that and part ginger beer and so it's really unique to me, like I really am liking this a lot. Okay, all to say, this is definitely a hard sample for me because of the price, the price and it is so dry. Sometimes I feel like that might, I wouldn't maybe like having that on me, yeah, but you know, wear it for a bit. I need to try it out and just I want to sample a little bit more and see what I think, because this is, there's something to this man yeah, I think, honestly, this is an interesting fragrance to wear in the colder weather.

Myke:

If you're trying to get away with like a super clean, I think this one would be interesting. If it's too warm, this would really kind of like choke me out. It would be overwhelming because of how dry and powdery it smells. Yeah, so for that I would say I'd like to sample it. Cold weather I'd like to get a good wearing on this, like really wear it, but for the price there's got to be something out there, one of those other fragrances that is a little more affordable. Because the concern I have is Tom Ford's noticeable drop in longevity, even over the time period of us doing this podcast. Yeah, and now he's completely sold the whole damn thing. Really, did he really? Yeah, did I remember that? Yeah, and now he's completely sold the whole damn thing. Really, I didn't.

Ryan:

Did he really? Yeah, did I remember that? Yeah, he sold the whole thing probably to Estee Lauder. When are they going to cut us a check for this podcast when they want to buy this piece of shit out?

Myke:

Probably never if I had to guess.

Ryan:

By the way, young lady at the store said she turned to the one.

Myke:

Yeah, there's like a new guy there.

Ryan:

She goes hey, by the way, these are these guys that had the this Cologne podcast guys. Yeah, and he did the whole like oh yeah.

Myke:

Yeah, great Jeff heard of y'all. I'm like dude we fucking sucked on.

Ryan:

You don't have to pretend it's fine, we're not gonna get our villains.

Myke:

We're literally in here begging you for free d camps okay, it's like our own family hasn't even heard of our podcast. Some stranger working at the fragrance counter.

Ryan:

It's fine he was nice too.

Myke:

I just uh, I thought this shit was funny we're gonna sit down with tony chris and steve all together one loud fucking episode and we're gonna talk about last year's assance. This coming trip, which, when we record this, it will be less than a week fuck, before a sans, we're gonna have an episode with all of them. We're gonna talk about what's coming up. Look, we have been more prepared this year for this coming a sans than we've ever been in the past like you, the group of you together.

Ryan:

You're talking about me and you no. I'm talking about the group okay, I was like me and you. We're not prepared at all.

Myke:

What the fuck are you talking about, dude? I don't even have the right underwear picked out. I'm just saying as far as the group's concerned, because normally we're like kind of palling around really trying to figure out like what parties are hosted that evening, where we're going to get to. Now we've already been, and most of the time we have to crash them and sneak in, and now we're actually getting invites and stuff.

Ryan:

Yeah, so a certain one reached out today.

Myke:

That's right. We are getting invites, not just. I mean, it's one thing you know, chris and Tony, those guys are, you know, they're legends, right, yeah, they're important.

Ryan:

Are you going to frame the invite?

Myke:

No. Okay, yeah, they're important are you gonna frame the invite?

Ryan:

no, okay, but you know I was included in a list of content creators damn wild god, I'm gonna laugh my ass off if you get locked out of all pretty much all of them, I would love that.

Myke:

I mean, it would be bad, but it would also be hilarious. Just like a, just like a reality check for me, like, hey, let's not get too cocky about this piece of shit podcast you're doing.

Ryan:

Yeah, last time you were there, people just kept throwing you their keys to their car.

Myke:

Yeah, wow, Thought I was valet. I'm like I don't know how to read kilometers.

Ryan:

Which, by the way, am I part of this episode that's coming up.

Myke:

I figure you should be. You can mediate the whole thing. Worst case.

Ryan:

I feel like I'm just going to be like a fifth wheel over here. Dude, yeah that sounds terrible.

Myke:

You don't want to be a part of it, you just want to skip that day.

Ryan:

No, no. I mean I'll show up and say hi and be in the group, but I'm not going to talk about anything. You guys are the ones that experience all this shit.

Myke:

Yeah, but you could ask questions, you could be the audience's perspective, oh good point.

Ryan:

I'll think of some questions. Okay, Some really good questions. Hmm, I'm just kidding. He's like he's not going to think of a damn question Last minute. I'll come in here.

Myke:

And you'll be like fielding me, like, hey, what would be a couple of good questions to ask, and then you'll play them off like it was your idea. Oh man, we had a client one time. This, actually this was when you and I really got heated for a moment. Really, yeah, remember, because we were working on a client. It was like, all right, ryan, tomorrow's your day, research and development. Oh yeah, and Ryan showed up and did the whole dog ate my homework sort of a spiel. Oh yeah, I still don't agree with that, but go ahead. You basically did the thing where, instead of bringing any knowledge or facts to the table, you just asked a couple of like generic questions. And then you're like I participated in that and I was like uh-uh.

Ryan:

In my head it did not play out like that, but you were not happy, were you?

Myke:

No, I was not.

Ryan:

We made up, but that was a big one for us I think sometimes there's a I don't know, maybe it's a hiccup in communication or I don't know. Maybe you just read me differently sometimes because I really felt like I was bringing some a-game that day.

Myke:

Really, that's the scary part yeah, that is a scary part, because you literally asked questions, but I was like okay, are you being free right now?

Myke:

Yeah, go ahead. No, I was. He's so pissed Dude. I'm over it now, but in the moment because we had met with this client a couple of times and Ryan and I play different roles yeah, and so I brought everything to the table. The whole time I'm organizing the back end. We have a shared conference thing where I'm uploading information, I'm laying out structures of here's how this will play out, and then, with the client, I'm telling them this is how you're going to organize and pick these categories and this is a strategy we're going with, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then they go alright, ryan, now it's your day and you're going to give us market research and you're like so what keywords? You just asked a couple questions.

Ryan:

I think I had trouble with because it was something I was totally not familiar with, which is not an excuse. But for some reason, he knows, every time we leave any other client meeting in the world, we immediately get in the car and we're just pow-wowing shit back and forth Like we're figuring out things you know what I mean Like and I'm super sleuthing and fine, like we're digging deep, and then that one just did not click with me for some reason.

Myke:

I'm starting to remember now. I was pretty bad on that. One sad part is, you know, 90 of the listeners clicked off before we got it for you, your acknowledgement of this. Yeah, we had a rough day after that because I was really frustrated because I was like I felt that I and the client were disrespected and you know you made good on it, but I was like, uh, I was heated yeah, it was all right there's nothing that like infuriates me more than when also somebody downplays, how upset you are oh, so what so I'm making?

Myke:

you mad now? No, no, no. But in the moment you were like it's not a big deal, you just kept doing that, Like it's fine, it's not a big deal, who cares? You know, I'm like I fucking care Me. Who cares Me? I care.

Ryan:

God, I know we said it many episodes ago, but god damn, we did a Star Wars wedding and they had a lightsaber exit and he comes over and he's like I fucking hope you got it. And you're like hey, trust me, I got it but I accidentally hit stop on the recorder, thinking I was hitting record on it, and I didn't get it.

Myke:

We didn't get a damn thing on that exit, mine was all out of focus and ryan's was of his feet the whole time. Dude it was. It would like be like oh man, that one's gonna be a good one, and then you hear like the camera just rustling around by and it's like, oh, here they come, here they go yeah, I'll play that one off.

Ryan:

So I'm like dude, this ain't a fucking big deal, it's gonna work out. It ain't no thing, it's just the exit to their fucking wedding which, by the way it did it didn't work out because they're divorced now yeah, that is true, yeah see I was right. Yeah, it wasn't a big deal.

Myke:

It's amazing, when, uh, you fail on a delivering you know heirlooms of their special day how people just forget to stay married oh, I'm the responsible party.

Ryan:

Yeah, for sure redundancy. That's what we need in life and until next time, spray it up y'all.