The Cologne Podcast
EVERY MONDAY: Join best friends Myke and Ryan as they take on the world of fragrances with unfiltered humor and uneducated opinions. Each episode, they'll sniff out a new scent and give their honest, foul-mouthed review. From high-end colognes to drugstore bargains, no fragrance is off-limits. Brace yourself for an irreverent, no-holds-barred approach to fragrance reviews.
The Cologne Podcast
#324 - NEW: Castley by Parfums de Marly
Fragrance expectations can be a tricky beast. What smells promising on paper doesn't always translate to skin—a lesson Myke and Ryan learned firsthand with Parfums de Marly's newest release, Castley.
The journey begins with high hopes as the duo recounts their pre-release encounter with this fragrance, where they could only sample it on a test strip within the store. Initial impressions were positive, drawing comparisons to LV's Imagination and quality Chanel offerings. But the real test came when they finally got their hands on a proper sample.
Hello everybody, welcome to a brand new episode of the Cologne Podcast.
Myke:I'm Mike, I'm Ryan. We're two best friends. We're going on a fragrance journey, smelling brand new fragrances and giving you uneducated opinions.
Ryan:Today, fresh off the press, we just got a sample not a bottle, because we're cheap of Parfums de Marly's.
Myke:Castley, that's right. It's now out in stores. You can buy it, this brand new fragrance. But should you? And that's the question we're going to answer today on this episode of the Cologne Podcast with Mike and Ryan?
Ryan:But before we do, don't you have something really nice to say about it?
Myke:Oh well, I don't know, ryan, because I can't wait to spray and smell it, but I have something that someone else wants to say about it, okay, and that's from Fred Grantica, a gentleman named Mate you Want Coco, okay who says it's been released in selected places. Bruh, I don't know about weak, but it does not smell good.
Ryan:First off, there's a lot of things you can tear down about me, but I never will respect somebody online or offline that says bruh, yeah, I fucking hate it. It is criminally childish to me. I don't know why I do a lot of childish things.
Myke:Yeah, I'm not ignorant to this, but you're like, listen here, good fellow.
Ryan:Dude, I don't know there's something about bruh. Yeah, I don't know, it just drives me crazy.
Myke:And you just feel like that's the type of thing you say when you just woke up or freaking hung over, or you just hit your freaking thc pin like bruh.
Ryan:that's already been released, bruh hey, bruh, don't worry, it's not a cigarette.
Myke:I can legally blow it in your goddamn face here, not anymore, not in Texas. On vapes, I mean, oh you're talking about vapes.
Ryan:Well, yeah, it's about to be. Abbott hasn't signed it yet, has he? Or did?
Myke:he, I don't know. I just see a lot of Texans on Facebook going way to go. You loser Like they're pissed.
Ryan:Yeah, let me tell you the state of affairs here in Texas before we get into this dumbass perfume. Yeah, this is why you tuned in. Yeah, let me show you how forward-thinking we are here in Texas. Yeah, joe Rogan's down in Austin smoking big doinks in the Amish.
Myke:Big doinks in the Austin.
Ryan:It's like I mean me and Mike are not really partakers of Mary G Juana. Yeah, thc gummies we had one together, one, yeah, and it still frustrates me that we're taking a step back. Something that's made $8 billion in profits that can be taxed. Yeah, they're just like hey, uh, sweet jesus himself wouldn't pick this from the ground and smoke it. We gotta ban this people are they're ravenous on it? Yeah, look how high he is. He's sitting on his goddamn couch watching old daughter. He reruns.
Myke:he looks fucking crazy look at him and he's stopping please and eating garlic knots yeah, fucking christ yeah, everybody in my news feeds going it's like it's less harmful than a wine cooler. That's what everybody keeps saying. I don't know who first coined that, but everybody's saying that now. Less harmful than a wine cooler.
Myke:Look we don't really drink much either, but I can honestly say, unless we're doing a patreon live for the fireside chat friends in which ryan was double fisted. Mike hard, mike's hard lemonade, don't make me sound too hard up over here, okay that's funny. We had a friend come in the studio and they saw the empty bottles and they said uh, you guys trying to get some cheerleaders drunk in here.
Ryan:Some friends brought it months ago and I'm like nobody's drinking this shit. I was kind of nervous. I was like I'm going to drink a couple of these and they were terrible, but it just drives me crazy. Hey to the adults in the room grow the fuck up and get the fuck out of here, man.
Myke:And let him have his gummies, y'all.
Ryan:I don't need them, I'm just going like I know for a fact me and you have taken a shot of whiskey or drink something here. I get a little bit more braver on that. The time we took a gummy I was like, hey, mike, shut the fuck up, you're gonna get us kicked out of here. Yeah, I just want to eat this ice cream.
Myke:So paranoid. Yeah, it's the worst to happen. You're gonna fucking call the cops on us, man calm down scoop.
Ryan:And here's, here's my. I'm the king of time. That's the worst that happened, guys. It just drives me crazy. I'm tired of things going backwards. Look, I'm not trying to make this the fucking liberalist fucking state in the world. I don't give a fuck about any of that shit. But come on, man, we've all fucking drank a beer or toked one with a fucking conservative or liberal. We all fucking do it every once in a while. Get out of here. Get the fuck out of here. All right, that's my rant of somebody that does not partake but is equally pissed that we're making a step backwards and now let's go back in time, just much like this bill is doing to our one night stand.
Myke:Review of O Splendide Chance by Janelle.
Ryan:Hit the music, Todd yeah.
Myke:One night stand review Before your liberal rant On mind-altering substances. What did you think of Chance O'Splendite?
Ryan:In the episode I referenced that it smells similar to Ralph Lauren. I was corrected on the Patreon that it's not Ralph Lauren, right, that I was an idiot for saying it that way, but that Ralph Lauren. It's like a teal perfume bottle, yeah, and I think that does it better, by the way, and it's crazy cheap, but it smells similar to that. But then it just really got. It just didn't get good. It felt it didn't feel like Chanel. Yeah, open to close. It does not feel like a Chanel. It does smell decent.
Myke:Yeah, but it does smell on the cheaper side, absolutely, and it does smell very youthful, yes. One of our beloved Patreons, a lady Denise, said that she did feel like it smelled very youthful, yeah, and so then it was off-putting for her because it smells like a teenage body spray or something. Yeah, and I think that's because it has that overdose of that raspberry in there.
Ryan:Yeah, and which we were excited for. Yeah, we were hoping I would. I was hoping I was gonna have this chanel. I kind of compare chanel's kind of vibe to sometimes it's stringent which I kind of like, yeah, it didn't really have that and I was thinking it's gonna be that with, like this tart raspberry thing. I was like that could be really cool and it honestly was really not cool so yeah, it's.
Myke:I don't think it had any struggles with longevity or anything like that, but it just it wasn't great, it was terrible. Okay, it's a skip. Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with a skip too. I mentioned on the episode, and I really do think that would be something to consider. If you're looking for a berry type designer fragrance that you can find at heavily discounted prices, you may consider the one million lucky woman from what's that? Paco ruban, yeah, paco ruban, and it has that raspberry type. It's a sweet raspberry fragrance. Have I smelled that? I don't know if you have you. You like it, though I do like it. It is very, very strong. So a little dab will do you, okay, but you know a decent alternative at a way more affordable price. That's all we got for that one. Let's get into it, man. New PDM Castley, damn, spray it up y'all.
Ryan:So a little backstory. We've only smelled this in decant form. We smelled it once before. They wouldn't even let us leave the store with it. They could just spray it on a test strip and let us smell that. This is before the release of it, like about a week or two for the release, and the very first thing I thought was oh, it's kind of like imagination with a little something else, right? Do you think we're going to have the same?
Myke:vibe, I'm ready to find out if you'd spray the freaking thing.
Ryan:Isn't it so crazy we get to the studio and things smell different.
Myke:Yeah.
Ryan:Does it smell different to you?
Myke:I haven't put it up to my nose yet. Whoa Smells way different, really different, than what I remember. Man, I instantly am not liking this right now, really, yeah, not liking it. Wow, huh, that might just be like the first initial burst of it. You know how it has to like.
Ryan:Settle five minutes, or so I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of loving this actually. Really, you're not liking that man.
Myke:The first spray out of the atomizer had this very rough, almost clay-type smell to it.
Ryan:Weird To me. I was going to say it has a slight bubble gum, but there's a classy undertone to that. Usually when I smell fragrances that have the bubble gum thing, they just smell really young. This one does not smell young somehow.
Myke:Smell my hand and tell me if it smells like clay mixed with the opening of red tobacco.
Ryan:First off, kind of not really. But secondly, that smells incredible on you by the way.
Myke:Well, thanks, pal.
Ryan:Does it smell the same to you like it does on me?
Myke:No, it's a lot lighter on you. God, it smells great on you. What the hell We've mentioned this a time or two before? Guys, I have magic skin.
Ryan:He's just putting lotion on all the time. I'll like walk by the door and they'll hear. And it's just him rubbing lotion all over his body.
Myke:There's literally two gallons of shea butter on the oven, like the stovetop here in the studio right now. It's true.
Ryan:He's a very lubed up individual.
Myke:Okay, yeah, I like to stay moist.
Ryan:You can't just corral him, he just slips through.
Myke:I like to be hard to hold on, but what are you smelling?
Ryan:Man, I really get a very. I get this mix of bubble gum slash, sophisticated, classy, masculine kind of vibe. It does not smell like imagination, like it did that first time.
Myke:No, I think honestly, and we had told ourselves this, I think we were just looking for imagination out there, I am loving this Testo strip, my skin, your skin especially.
Ryan:This smells really good to me, but you're not vibing it.
Myke:No, I'm not On the card. I remember because we smelled it on the card in the store and it does smell bright, citrusy, clean. Yeah, it's good, it's good, it smells good On my skin. I'm fighting some sort of weird synthetic smell, really. Yeah, it's calming down, but when it first hit I was like, oh my God, this is terrible.
Ryan:This smells so good in the best way, because it wasn't that I thought it smelled bad, I just thought it smelled similar to the imagination. It was very mass appealing, safe, and I will still say it's very mass appealing and safe. But it doesn't. It smells pretty unique, you know.
Myke:On the card. It kind of gives me really chanel vibes I can agree with that a hundred percent.
Ryan:But who does it better?
Myke:Oh, Chanel, baby which, by the way, we just did a full-length episode of the Lore Home Sport O-Extreme for the Patreons. That's going to be a Patreon exclusive. If you're not a Patreon, it's six bucks a month. We're doing heavy hitters over there, baby.
Ryan:Yeah, we have a great community there. There's a ton of people in there and they're such good people.
Myke:Yeah, You're missing out if you're not in the Patreon. So if you want that community aspect and you want to hear episodes like Chanel's Allure, homme, sport O Extreme, go be a Patreon Now that Mike's done, shilling his ass off. It's amazing what we'll do for $6.
Ryan:If the two-gallon drum of Sheaa butter is any indication I'm slick and ready? Oh god, let me hit you with the price and popularity really quick. Okay, price for this bad boy is like in the 300, a little bit over 300 for 100 oh 4.2 ml.
Myke:Yeah, so 125, or they do a 75 mil, which was 270, 270, yeah, yeah popularity.
Ryan:This is like a 4.03, I believe, but it only has like a small amount of votes. Actually, I was really close 4.06 out of 5, only 192 votes. That's to be expected. This is brand new. Brand new, yeah.
Myke:It hit the shelves, at least where we're at, two days ago and you got a text from the people. Yeah, as of this recording, yeah, I asked our pal Felicia Shout out Felicia To shoot me a text whenever it's officially available for purchase.
Ryan:Yeah, she came through and I'm going to tell you this does smell pretty good. We'll have to get into that later. There's a thing we're going to talk about later in our Skip it, Sample it, Buy it part.
Myke:Well then, why don't you talk to them about raccoons Ryan?
Ryan:Yeah, we mentioned this on our patreon last week, that day when I we recorded that episode, I have been dealing with a raccoon problem for quite a minute now, yeah, and this, right, I'd set my ring.
Ryan:I took my ring camera off the door and I put it in. It's figured out a way to get into this garage and I, like you know, I put it there and I've set this. I borrowed this trap from the people over here. I've got this laid out. I can't tell you how many countless nights this son of a bitch has just daintily got into the fucking thing. Daughter of a bitch, yeah, yeah, it was a female. It would just get in there and it would just delicately grab every little thing out there without. It was literally. I've got footage. It was investigating the trap. I've got footage. It was investigating the trap. I've looked this up since. Yeah, apparently raccoons are pretty tech savvy and so they're very like, aware, like, hey, this is a trap, they're trying to get me Right.
Ryan:It's like literally pushing on different levers and stuff on this thing, trying to trigger it, oh, and then it texted its friends and was like hey, there's Sam and Alfredo out here for you guys to, and every night I would get a notification. It wakes me up. I'm like goddamn, it's fucking 2 o'clock in the morning. This thing's in there, it's trying to get in. I'm like watch intently. Is this the night? It's going to get it Nothing. And then she really pissed me off. I go into my garage one morning this week and this raccoon it took the biggest fucking shit and it smells god awful.
Myke:I can now tell you guys insult to injury, yeah, not only have you been feeding it like fancy feast, yeah, but now it's gonna defecate in your space dude, it really pissed me off and I'm telling you guys, raccoon shit has a weird must to it.
Ryan:I was like fuck this fucking animal. So your boy got hip. I went and got a can of fancy face. I barely cracked the tab on it. I took an. I went straight up macgyver. I found an old shoe that nobody was wearing. It's fucking 10 years old. I took the laces out of it. I tied the shittiest knot around this can, with it barely open. I put the can inside, then fed that freaking shoestring all the way to the lever mechanism so it could either step inside and trigger it, but if it pulled the can, it also triggered it. Oh, and by golly, guys, you did it.
Ryan:This morning I caught her and she was the cutest fucking animal I've ever seen in my life. It was like, yeah, it was hissing and coming at me, but I'm gonna tell you it looks so sad. When I opened the door I was like, oh man, now look, just so you know it's not being killed. The people take it out further, like miles away from us, and they have a little, uh, designated area where they can safely release raccoons. Yeah, so I mean it may find its way back to my house, but for right now she's living good. I fed her good, she had water. I even gave her blueberries this morning, so it's like she's good. What'd you name her? I didn't name her, I should have. God, she's so cute looking.
Myke:But you're like it's got thumbs so I'd be texting all my deepest, darkest secrets.
Ryan:Yeah, pretty much. So, yeah, that's all there is to it. I had to get rid of her, but she was genuinely a pain in the ass and sometimes you got to get rid of those pains in the ass.
Myke:Well, if it ever comes back, I'll tell you what would really entice them. What's that to eat? That would be chapushi, ryan, chapushi, chapushi, the fuck is. It's a concoction. Well, it's technically a technique of how to eat chipotle. Oh okay, yeah, so I was mentioning to you, I forgot. A friend reminded me that apparently I eat chipotle. A weird way, I'm evangelizing this way, by the way.
Ryan:I hate that you like Chipotle, I love Chipotle. I've told you this forever. You like that and Pan Express and I don't fucking get it.
Myke:I've gotten the worst case of food poisoning ever from Chipotle and I still love it. Why would you go back to that shit? I mean because I no longer go to that specific chipotle that I went to, but I legit it was so bad. I wrote corporate, I'm not even kidding you, dude, it was terrible. I had never been that sick before. From the morgue I wrote yeah, literally an icu. They're like oh my god, he, he's going to speak. And I was like email Chipotle corporate, please, but the unique way, and hell, you guys may do it too, but this is the way you need to eat Chipotle.
Ryan:His colostomy bag's full of blood.
Myke:Yeah, that was the least of the symptoms that I was dealing with, dude, I'm telling you that was intense, but I still eat it, still love it. Yeah, when you get one of them Big Daddy burritos, I mean you pack it down.
Ryan:Oh, this is what we have another beef with too. Okay, because you love things like it's going to sound weird, but might be loving things stuffed full Of meat.
Myke:Yeah.
Ryan:Yeah.
Myke:I'm like I know we can fit one meat in there, but can we fit two?
Ryan:I'm like there's enough meat in between these buns, Nah.
Myke:I'm like there's never enough meat in between my buns.
Ryan:Talking about Jimmy John's here. Guys, you just can't have, I don't want to have that much meat on my freaking bun.
Myke:Oh dude, I'm like if I don't take a bite and there's just meat falling out of my mouth, there's not enough meat. Okay, you get one of these big daddy burritos. By the way, I'm doing triple, double or triple meat. I got to. I need the protein.
Myke:Guys, I'm trying to balance out my macros here. Oh yeah, there's a lot of carbs here. There's, there's rice, there's tortilla. That's two carbs. Yeah, I'm like I need at least three meats then to balance this shit out Either way. So you get your big daddy burrito and they wrap it up and I just take a knife and I will cut that burrito in half and I just hold it like a bowl and then I'll eat out of the burrito and then, once it kind of gets empty enough, then I'll just kind of roll it back up and eat it as a mini burrito by itself. And that's called gabushi, that's called chapushi, because it's like chipotle and sushi in a way. Chapushi, wow, yeah, and I'm I guarantee you, any animal with opposable thumbs would love to eat that fucking meal well, considering what they already left behind for me to clean up.
Ryan:I don't know, I want to give it, so you don't want to hook it up with some chapushi. Yeah, then I got me and the raccoon are writing corporate. I'm good. Yeah, uh, who's wearing this piece of shit? Because you know why I don't like it right now, why the other day we walked out and I go, oh, and I said in a good way, then I shouldn't call it a piece of shit, I'm sorry, somebody worked hard on this and yeah, the owner of pdm himself for real.
Ryan:There's probably a lot of people that will love this. But we walked out and I was like you know, this is kind of giving me like a hair salon vibe, like the, the hair sprays and stuff they would use, the stuff they wash your hair with, like all that in the air, you know, and right now it smells like that, but like with your hair underneath one of those you know where the women have their hair and rolls, and so it's kind of burning things. Oh, you know, they got the chemical fucking fold all fucked, folded up and they're sitting or anything. That's what it's kind of smelling like.
Myke:It's kind of getting a perm yeah, my dad got a perm one time, mine did too. Oh, that's right, and your brother yeah. They look ridiculous.
Ryan:If I find those pictures, they will definitely get put up.
Myke:My grandma used to tell me a story. At the time my dad got in trouble because he's trying to like acid wash his jeans or whatever you know. He's like bleaching them and ruining his jeans. She's like he nearly ate holes through those jeans?
Ryan:Oh Lord, Did he walk around with a perm and like a medallion in his freaking hamburger? I'm sure yeah. I don't know why that got popular Dude.
Myke:I mean I just he would make his own V-necks. I'm sure everybody's parents did this, but, like you know, but they just cut the crew neck and make it a V-neck. Yeah, I'm like cool.
Ryan:Well, who would be wearing this fragrance? I mean, it does smell good to a degree.
Myke:Yeah, especially on the tester strip. On the tester strip it's giving me big BDC vibes.
Ryan:Hmm, I don't get that. But I did initially, but I'm not getting that right now.
Myke:Yeah, it's not bad on the skin. I hate to say this, but of PDM stuff, this probably smells the most generic. Wow, yeah, I agree, I've ever smelled from them. I agree, and I know people will compare other fragrances that they make, which is so funny, by the way, because I I've heard this quite a few times that pdm is like basically a niche clone house of designer stuff. I won't argue that their fragrances lean designer wearability. Yeah, I don't know of many fragrances that they're copying, other than I think percival is like leaning heavy into a few. But other than that I will say they do kind of have their own personality, but this one just it feels really flat, it does and kind of uninspired, honestly honestly, though, it's crazy.
Ryan:My hand smells crazy, different than the tester strip. Yeah, I'm, you smell mine. That doesn't smell good at all right now. What the hell I know I'm.
Myke:I don't know what this is doing to my skin, man dude that that's a weird one.
Ryan:I've been asking multiple times about who would be wearing this. Who's your avatar for this thing?
Myke:I think younger dudes really young dudes high school, early college years, I think they're roping them in with the Percivals and now the Castles and stuff like that. I think they're getting them there, yeah, and then that's their gateway drug. That's right, yeah. And before long then they're wearing Habdan and stuff like that.
Ryan:Hey, I did like that. Hey, I, I did like that. Yeah, it smelled great, smelled incredible. We tried that on while we were getting this. I was like fuck, I put on my hand worn. I was like it smelled really good all day. It was great. Yeah, okay, are you gonna skip it, sample it or buy it? What are you gonna do, ryan? Look, I know the co-founder worked hard on this, so I'm not going to really dress this down, even though I kind of did.
Myke:But yeah, he is an avid listener.
Ryan:But well, first off, he's avidly wealthy, so he'll be okay, He'll survive.
Myke:Yeah, but I will say they're going to sell plenty of bottles of this.
Ryan:Yeah, they're going to sell this.
Myke:This is an easy skip for me, really easy skip the easy skip for me, really easy skip, yeah, same, you know. And our initial reaction to it? We got to smell it like a tester tester that they sent, yeah, before they even had a bottle of this. Yeah, and we were impressed with it and really hyped up about it. So then yesterday I did yesterday, we go in and we sprayed that.
Myke:I go hey, we're about to go to a meeting, can we spray this on the skin, go to the meeting and then come back and we'll make our decision. Because the lady texted and said hey, let me know if you want me to put a bottle bag for you. Yeah, so we spray it on, we go to the meeting. We've run some errands In the meantime, we're smelling it and kind of talking about it. And whenever I got back, uh, just from the experience of actually wearing it on the skin and being out of the store, convinced me not to buy it absolutely and I ended up buying another fragrance that if you're a patreon, you know what it is, and if you're're not a Patreon, shame on you. If you're having trouble sleeping and I'm wondering what fragrance that was, well, you can pay six bucks and find out.
Ryan:That's it for this week's show. We love you guys. Wait a second.
Myke:What Is this? A skip for you? I thought, yeah. I said that Okay, skip for me too. It's not bad. Now you cut off my goddamn exit Spray it up, y'all.