Episode 66 Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)

"Ya so, it's a security guard job at an abandoned arcade where the ghosts of dead children possess animatronics and murder said security guards. When can you start?" 
A community... paralyzed by... what, we're not sure. Why haven't they condemned this place? That one patrol cop sure seems to know a lot about the missing children case and about the murdered security guards. Funny how they never investigate the place where they were murdered. Oh well. It's the movie adaptation of the game kids love to hide from their parents! Who doesn't like pizza and animatronics? 

Transcript

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SPEAKER_05 0:00

We must be new security guards. Have you met them yet?

SPEAKER_02 0:09

I'm Jamie Roberts, and I'm Robert Lendrum. And this is the Running Scared Podcast, where we review the films that have you running away.

SPEAKER_03 0:19

Where we review the films that had you running away, but coming back for more.

SPEAKER_04 0:24

And we are coming back for more tonight, Rob. We have moved from the bi-weekly pay schedule to the monthly pay schedule. Totally intentional.

SPEAKER_03 0:36

As we planned.

SPEAKER_04 0:38

You know what? I was always taught as a young child, don't pretend to be something you're not. Don't be something you are not. And right now, we are not. We are not a weekly schedule podcast. We are not a bi-weekly scheduled podcast. We are coming at you monthly scheduled podcasts. We have the punctuality of the TTC in Toronto. We are doing our best to bring the uh to bring the great movies to you, the reviews, the commentary, the fun, the fanfare, the revelry, the laughter. And we're here tonight, man. What's going on? How are you doing?

SPEAKER_03 1:10

I'm good. I'm I'm I'm not bad. I mean, I mean, could be worse. What else can you say? I don't know. I'm good. I I just came back from Toronto from last weekend. I was there. Uh and hey, well, shoot, man. We should get we should rewind even three weeks back. You and I finally saw each other in person. We went to a Habs game together against the Leafs. It was fucking great. We had a great time. Like I had a great time.

SPEAKER_04 1:34

Oh, I had a great time too. Let me just I'm gonna just I want to uh I just want to lay this out for the listeners here, right? Rob Lendrum, co-host of the Running Scared podcast, has never been a good He's never been a good driver. He's never been good with speeds.

SPEAKER_03 1:50

This is horseshoe. This is going back to when I was 17. I don't this is shit Jamie will not let me let down. I'm in my 40s now. I haven't had an accident in my entire knock on wood.

SPEAKER_04 1:59

Where's some wood? Here we go. Rob, you had three in one weekend. I feel like that's yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_03 2:04

Okay, minor, minor accidents. Nothing, nothing broke.

SPEAKER_04 2:08

I just think it was kind of funny that you know what I mean. I fly in, Montreal, Quebec excited the game. Quebec, as we call it. Quebec. Parking in Montreal is very difficult to find. That was the craziest thing. It's like you go down a different street, there's like a different badge, it's a different sector. I felt like it was in the Hunger Games. It's like, you know, you're in sector 17, you have to have a sticker on your car. We finally get a spot. We're going to this like spot that's recommended by your wife, get grabbing some There's fucking zero signage, so you know it's gonna be cool. Like we walk by this thing like twice. We're like, Rob, what's it called? Like, I don't know, Sate. Sate brothers. Sate brothers. Yeah, it's like nothing. There's like a it's like a black cloak in front of the window, you know what I mean? It's like they don't want to be found, right? You know, I love that business model. We don't need to get into that, anyways. There's you hear nothing. We go in there, open up the door, and then it's fucking biggie smalls blasting, and like it's like a it's hopping, it's lunchtime. We go in there. Amazing lunch, cool server. Uh, my drink, all the listeners out there. I want you just to remember if you want to send me one, a sample bottle, you can go ahead and do that. Dark and stormies are my drink. What I'm drinking. It's what I'm drinking right now, it's what I'm drinking in the summertime. As we come into spring and roll into the summertime, I'm doing dark and stormies. We have our great lunch, and then we get back to the car. There we go. On cue. Yeah, man. It's on a dark and stormy. It's probably what is it?

SPEAKER_03 3:43

It's just a beer. It is a Pit Catabou brewery. Les Gos The Palauquios.

SPEAKER_04 3:49

So we get back to the car, all's good. Feeling good, couple of drinks in this. I think we're gonna head off to our local.

SPEAKER_02 3:57

Only one at me because I was driving.

SPEAKER_04 3:59

That's right. That's right. We get into the car, everything's going right, cruising. Next thing you hear is boom-boom. Boom. Boom-boom. I look at Rob. I go, Rob, that doesn't sound right. He goes, Yeah, I hear that. I that was the best. Yeah, I hear that too. I was like, okay, man. I said, you know what? Let's pull over. Let's go ahead and check this out. It doesn't sound right. No. We pull over, I go out, I look outside, your back driver's side is as flat as a pancake. Yeah, it was bad. The look of terror goes over your face. And I said, I said something, and you're like, yeah, I noticed it was a little soft.

SPEAKER_03 4:44

I gotta admit, like earlier that week I had kind of pushed on it and was like, yeah, feels a little soft.

SPEAKER_04 4:49

Yeah, I said, when? When was earlier that week? This is Saturday, everybody. He's like Tuesday. I'm like, I'm like, so my next question is like the logical follow-up. So did you go to a gas station to pump it up? He goes, I didn't get around to that. Negative. Negative on that way. Anyways, so at this point, it's it's very much we're to fork in the road. You're going one way or you're going the other. Figuratively and literally, like this is gonna ruin our weekend, or at least put a put a hard stop on it. And I know you weren't sure what to do.

SPEAKER_03 5:25

I knew that, yeah. I was saying to you, I I I've changed attire before, but honestly, I don't think I had done it since like high school.

SPEAKER_04 5:32

Roberts to the rescue, and I have to give a shout out. First time shout out. Normally I'm shouting on my dad. Don Roberts, I love you, man. This guy taught me how to be social at parties, how to pour a nice glass of wine. Did he teach me how to fit uh how to change a tire? No, that's going to my father-in-law. Shout out, first time ever on the pod. Chuck's car phone. Anyways, I knew what to do. I banged out that tire in 16 minutes flat, and we were on the road. And I remember at one point you go, man, I'm just amazed watching you.

SPEAKER_03 6:07

Yeah, no, you got us on the road. Uh like you said, 16 minutes, you're probably right. It was like we were right back at it really quickly, and I was like, holy shit, that could have been a total fucking derailment of the whole night. But here we are, man. We're driving 15, like 15 minutes later, we're back on the road. And we had we had the donut on downtown Montreal streets, potholes the size of fucking the moon. Exactly. Moon craters.

SPEAKER_04 6:32

Seven of the worst streets in Canada in Montreal.

SPEAKER_03 6:35

I'm trying to fucking not go over 60, not hit the highway. It was like kind of chaotic, but it was all good. We got to the hotel, went to the game, fucking awesome game. Leaf started off by shitting the bed in the first period. There was a goal, the leaf set scored him in the first play of the game. We look at each other like, oh god, here we go. Like, had to show up in our Leaf jerseys in Montreal. We're about to get like heckled by everybody. Tons of Leaf fans there, which actually fun. Lots of chirping in the crowd, people joking around, talking. So much more energy in that building, eh, than in Toronto? Like, holy shit.

SPEAKER_04 7:13

It's like No, it was it was amazing. Like, I know we've got you know listeners down in the States and in Canada, and going to the Bell Center, it's the biggest arena in the NHL, and Leafs Habs is one of the oldest rivalry rivalries. So you got almost 22,000 people in there, 21 and change, and it's like it's electric.

SPEAKER_03 7:33

It would rave between periods, too.

SPEAKER_04 7:35

That's like oh my god, that was that's that's amazing. It's like it's like blade. You go to like any other sporting event, halftime, the lights come up, the lady that's balancing the teacups on the unicycle is going around, and you got the Tinbits hockey on the Montreal. The fucking lights go down, it's like an amusing Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 7:54

In the least, it would be like a trivia game, and then you'd like which which donut is going faster? And you'd have to pick a the and then they're like the kids come out and play Timbits hockey, and then and then it's like uh you know, it's fucking what's his name? Hello out there, we're on the air, it's hockey night tonight, like Zapatama, come on. Like it was totally different.

SPEAKER_04 8:15

Yeah, and I loved how they didn't do like the stupid let's pick a guy in the 300 section and ask him like he's there trying to have drinks with his buddies, and you ask him three random questions about the fucking history of the Montreal Canadians. It's like, no, they just I like how they just got rid of it. They just had lights, they just had music, and they just played music. It was really fun.

SPEAKER_03 8:37

Yeah, it was Saturday, it was hockey night in Canada, it was a big, it was just like a big show. It was like a you know, this is like a that's like a what do you call it? It's a showcase game, and it was really like it lived up. No, it's like a marquee game, yeah. It was a marquee game. Yeah, leaves came back, ended up winning the game, that was fun.

SPEAKER_04 8:54

3-2, tight game, very good. We met some people beside us, awesome. Thank you for the uh for the for the ticket. Amazing. I knew, you know what, and this is where you gotta fill people's buckets in life, everybody. I took Rob to the 2015 Toronto Blue Jays Game 2 AL DS. Sure enough, nine years later, it was paid back.

SPEAKER_03 9:17

Well, no, I took and I took you to the Red Wings game in Detroit.

SPEAKER_04 9:22

I forgot that. Yeah, anyways, amazing time, all good. Yeah, fast forward to uh fast forward to now, man. It's Easter weekend, four days off from work. Everybody out there, you know, we're not like super religious. I'm not, but enjoy if you have some time off. Start your weekend off, right, Rob. Let's start by a review and a a film. And a film, yeah, or a film that we that I brought to you, and I I'm not even sure you this was on your radar at all.

SPEAKER_03 9:50

Uh I I was aware like for sure.

SPEAKER_04 9:51

Yeah, like we talked about this film. I know this was something that I kind of had like in the back of my mind, just because in my own uh context in life, this was something that kind of came up. I'll explain that later on. But tonight we are gonna do Five Nights at Freddy's, and this was released 2023, right around Halloween. And and kind of an interesting one because uh myself as a teacher, this was something that like the fucking kids would not stop talking about. They're playing the video games. Every time I turned around, I'm like, I had to have like a hard and fast rule in my class, like I had to shut down this game because they had like uh they had all like the video games, but they had like a version of a video game they could play on their Chromebooks in school. Oh no way. Oh my god, like it was because it was a horror game, so I could see like they'd all be huddled around at lunch, and I'd turn around, look at the screen, and the screen would be all dark because you're like just the movie itself. Yeah, anyways, five nights at Freddy's. Um you had anything to kind of just open up really, really quick, kind of like 15-second high level, and then we can bounce into it.

SPEAKER_03 10:56

Yeah, okay, a few things. Uh Bloomhouse gets this, which is kind of interesting that Bloomhouse have all I mean, everyone's going to them for horror these days, but everybody I didn't really expect that they would take on kind of a kids' franchise because here's the thing this movie, as much as it is a horror film, it's definitely falls into kind of the realm of kids' horror. It's aimed probably at teenagers, but this thing's PG, man. It's a PG film. This might be our first PG review on all of Running Scared. Uh Gremlins was the film that invented the PG 13 rating.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:28

But we don't think we've ever had a PG film. So this thing costs like 20 million, it grossed 300 million, so it's a big hit. It was, you know, as you said, it came for a franchise. I did a little did a little research, and by that I mean I read uh Wikipedia.

SPEAKER_04 11:44

Uh that's what constitutes research now, right?

SPEAKER_03 11:47

Or just a deep type it in a co-pilot and you can ask Chat GPT what it knows about this game. But uh a little interesting fact about the creator was a guy named Scott Cawthon and he started out making like Christian video games and animations, and he didn't make much money. Uh so he I and so the thing is he puts uh his money and his time into a game that it's called Chipper and Sons Lumberco. But people started reviewing it and making fun of how creepy the beavers look. Which is so because they they said they resembled kind of like scary animatronics, and I guess that was the spark in his head, so he's like, Yeah, yeah, okay. So he just fucking dumps the whole Christian thing and he decides to make these scary games called Five Nights at Freddy's, which is based on like you know, a Chuck E. Cheese like gone wrong kind of thing, right? Uh so he pumps out fucking like a ton of these games in a very short amount of time, like two, three, and four all came out within a two-year period. And he's rolled off with a ton of spin-offs. He made novels, he did a collaboration with the Funko Toys, now he's got this movie. Like now this guy's just rolling in bucks. Um pretty impressive that he uh got this thing off the ground. And really, like not that long ago, like what when did the games come out? Like 2009 or 2000.

SPEAKER_04 13:05

Yeah, it's not it's not that long ago. And this was I even asked the students in my class, like uh they're grade fives. I was saying, like, so what's up with this like five nights at Freddy's thing, guys? Like you guys are, you know, I shouldn't say guys, like just people because girls they were all playing it. Is this something that's been around for a while? And they'd be like, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mr. Roberts, it's been around for a while, it's been around a few years. Like, you press them on any like any kind of details, it can't provide you with like no anything.

SPEAKER_03 13:30

My kid still doesn't know day of the week it is.

SPEAKER_04 13:35

We're working on identifying a dress at this house. No, um, but I I would ask them like what they know, and the only thing they could tell me was like it was a video game before and now it's a movie. So I feel like this is the popularity of it, like the like the mass popularity is a little more current. Like these things kind of start a little bit in the in the kind of in the shadows a little bit, and then they come you know to a to a much bigger light. But uh $300 million is absolutely a huge light. Blumhouse is they are not they they're like kind of indiscriminate making films now, right? Like they don't really care what they're making because well I don't know. No, no, no, they're making no what I'm saying is that like they they've considered themselves, and what I'm seeing is anything that has to do with like mystery or horror or creepiness, they're just like snapping up the scripts, the IP, and just like putting it out, man.

SPEAKER_03 14:31

They're like the Marvel comics of horror now.

SPEAKER_04 14:34

That's certainly what it seems like because they're banging them out quite quickly, and I'm not sure that all of them are of the highest quality, but they all have like they all look slick and they all have like you know, that really um like that aesthetic that goes with them. There's there's a certain level to the production value that you know you're gonna get with a Blumhouse film now, and that's that's kind of you know, that's certainly a selling point for a lot of those, you know, go studios, like those flicks, and you know, to go into the theaters and whatnot. And and if you I always thought with horror films, if they're hitting you know, night swim, like you can list them all off and they're doing 20 to 30 million per movie, but one out of five gets you that two hundred two uh you know two hundred and fifty million, three hundred uh three hundred million dollar film, then that's good business. And I feel like that's their model. Like they're just gonna start throwing every all the shit at the wall, and at least one of them out of every four or five movies sticks and makes a ton of money, and they just keep on rolling.

SPEAKER_03 15:31

Well, it lets them open the door to be experimental too. Like uh a movie like Pearl, which we haven't reviewed yet, uh, is a very stylistically strange film. Like it's they really chose a lane on that one that is like out there, and so like you can't really do shit like that unless you get the money coming in from other places, right? Sorry, just when I make that Marvel Comics uh parallel, uh that's actually intentional because if you think about the 80s, Marvel Comics would take on the licenses for things like Transformers, G.I. Joe, uh all these cartoons and toys that didn't really have stories developed yet. And Marvel Comics would be the writers that would write these things and actually create the whole canon that which all those franchises are now based on. And and here you got Blumhouse taking on a franchise, like a licensed property like this, and kind of uh blowing it up into something totally you know, take it to the next stage, you know, next level.

SPEAKER_04 16:28

They can offshoot it to another video game um if they hold the rights to it with the film they you know for t-shirts and all I don't know that's how I see it with with this these kind of uh these kind of um these kind of franchises.

SPEAKER_03 16:41

Absolutely opens up a ton of new revenue streams. Yeah. And uh if they work, if it if it if it jumps off, then you know you've you've created some bank that you can actually lean on for several years.

SPEAKER_04 16:50

Absolutely. And here's another revenue stream. You know what, Rob? I'm gonna put this out to all the listeners right here. We're looking for a title sponsor for the one-line challenge. So the one line challenge brought to you by Fill in the Blank. Netflix.

SPEAKER_03 17:06

I was gonna say like a knife company. We should find like a maybe some knife company if we want to get into a horror podcast.

SPEAKER_04 17:13

And like the proverbial, the one-line challenge brought to you by Ginsu, the only knife company that I know. A cut above the rest. Exactly. Oh, that's good. All right. Well, let's bring it back to the uh one line challenge brought to you by, again, title sponsor, hit us up, and we'll see what we can do with uh we can work out an agreement.

SPEAKER_03 17:31

So the one line challenge is where we try to boil down the whole plot of the film into one single line just to give you a quick overview of what this film is and what it's about, what happens. The reason we do this is that we don't love to spend a ton of time just like plotting, like going through the plot, plotting through the not the narrative is what I was about to say. Instead, we'd like to kind of book club the movie a little more, and instead of just like telling you, and then this happened, and then this happened, we try to wrap it all up real quick with the one-line challenge. Jamie, I'm gonna count you in and you deliver what you think. Remember, no, no uh punctuation, you're only allowed to do commas, no periods, in the one-line challenge. Three, two, one.

SPEAKER_02 18:15

Five nights at Freddy's.

SPEAKER_04 18:19

A place of business from the 80s, enjoyed by youth, becomes the focal point of a diabolical psychopathic adventure that leaves a community wounded and specifically the children in that community wounded. Along with one man's search for sanity against a backdrop of parental instability. Five nights of ladies. You know what? Yeah, I I was trying to I I felt like I don't know. I I feel like sometimes when I get into these things, I'm like, I'm trying to be too Da Vinci and I just need to like bring it back, and then I think to myself, no, that's too simplistic because there's a lot of things happening in the movie. But, anyways, you're going, Rob. Count me in.

SPEAKER_02 19:34

Three, two, one.

SPEAKER_03 19:39

Five nights at Freddy's. When their parents die, Mike is forced to take care of his little sister, even though he's not really mentally equipped to do so and doesn't really have a job. So he gets a job at a rundown Chuck E. Cheese where the animatronics kill you. Five nights of Freddy's.

SPEAKER_04 20:11

I like that. You know what? I felt like if you if you want to think, you'll listen to mine.

SPEAKER_03 20:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:17

If you want to know, you'll listen to yours.

SPEAKER_03 20:20

I felt I felt you had given the art, the art. I was just gonna get to the facts. I like that.

SPEAKER_04 20:27

And generally I'm the I'm the I'm the uh I'm the everyman in this, and you are the artiste. It's funny how we had a little bit of a role reversal there.

SPEAKER_03 20:34

You do the poetry and I'll do the news report. All right, let's get into it.

SPEAKER_04 20:44

One of the interesting things with this pod Rob is we are gonna start, we are not gonna ease into things. We are gonna hit the ground running, and we are gonna do that with a game. Now, those that have seen the film, right at the beginning, there's a promotional film where there's like a woman there, a girl. She's got the great perm, she's got the 80s vibe, the whole like stranger things, and she's talking about or she's describing Freddie um Fazbears. Fab Bears.

SPEAKER_03 21:13

That's the name of the Chuck E. Cheese place.

SPEAKER_04 21:15

Is it Faz? Let me just get it right. Yeah. Faz. So there's a woman, she's describing Freddie Fazbears.

SPEAKER_03 21:20

This is Mike's like train HR training video from 1984.

SPEAKER_04 21:24

Exactly. So one of the things I thought was hilarious is that in the video, Mike's watching it, and she's going, and the owner decided that they were that he was gonna put his two favorite things together and make a pizza shop. And his two favorite things were pizza and I thought it was gonna be something completely different, but it was pizza and animatronics. I fucking burst out laughing. I was like, I did not expect that. And I'm sure you didn't expect that either. So let's play a quick little game before we get into the The the talking points here, Rob. No. Pizza and a pizzeria goes with what? The way this is gonna go is I'm gonna set you up for one, you're gonna set me up for one, I'm gonna set you up for another, you're gonna set me up for another. So we're gonna have four different versions of what a pizza and a pizzeria would go best with.

SPEAKER_03 22:22

Okay, so we're making like a store. We're making like a place. We're making a store, right? Okay.

SPEAKER_04 22:27

Okay. So, you know, man, Q Mix Master Mike to get the drop going on here. But basically, um, Rob, if you were gonna have your favorite or you're gonna create your the ideal pizza shop, you would marry pizza with photocopying. Jamie, pizza and I'm gonna go literal. In the movie, it wouldn't have been funny, but pizza and sports.

SPEAKER_03 23:09

There's pizza at every sports station. Exactly. Anyways, I just thought they were trying to think of crazy things like pizza. Pizza and a car wash. Like pizza and uh pool accessories. Are we just trying to get funny things here? Are we trying to do like things for kids?

SPEAKER_04 23:30

Yeah, you you were doing things. I was actually I was thinking about actually like legitimate things that would have made more sense in the film because I thought animatronics was absolutely just fucking ridiculous.

SPEAKER_03 23:41

That was the part I was laughing about. That they like, why are these two things combined? So I'm trying to think of something like pizza that you you know, photocopying because you don't want to get the copies of covered in pizza sauce. Um I was trying to think of two things that like have no business being together, like pizza and motor royal, like like in a garage. Like get your slice while waiting for your car to get fixed.

SPEAKER_02 24:01

What about what about pizza and swimming?

SPEAKER_04 24:05

Yeah, yeah. Pizza and jacuzzies. Exactly. I thought that would be good. Pizza. Imagine you went like legitimately, you had a love for a pizza parlor, but you also had a love for like relaxation. So pizza and jacuzzies, I think would be nice, anyways.

SPEAKER_03 24:25

Okay, we'll have to drop a little jacuzzi rap on that one. Yeah, and we tried. And the Deuce Bigelow guy who's the same, remember in Deuce Bigelow, the pimp who's eating in the jacuzzi sandwich, and the tomato keeps washing up on his chest.

SPEAKER_00 24:43

If I had two more manginas like you, I'd be a millionaire.

SPEAKER_04 24:47

Let us know if you got any ideas for a pizzeria. Pizza goes best with, fill in the blank, send us an email, let us know what's going on. So listen, like I said, I'm gonna jump into something right here, okay? So this was a phenomenon in my class. Rob, do you remember anything like Freddie Fazbear's that we had as a kid growing up? I know you mentioned Chuck E. Cheese, but did we have anything like this? And maybe you can give us like a brief description of what this place like, the depiction of it in the film, and then did we have anything like this, Rob?

SPEAKER_03 25:23

Yes. So Toronto uniquely, well, and in fact, Scarborough, the east side of Toronto, uh, uniquely had a place called the Mad Hatter. Yes, I'm so glad you uh did you yeah, did you ever go to this as a kid?

SPEAKER_04 25:36

Okay, so the answer is no, and I'm still to this day, like it tears me apart.

SPEAKER_03 25:42

The Mad Hatter was like, what if some drunk guy like kind of pulled together his money with all his buddies and rented like a warehouse and made his own version of Chuck E. Cheese, but with like things that he found around the community. Like he stole a bunch of shopping carts, he just got a bunch of pill old pillows. So this place was like chaos. You would have you would play bumper cars with shopping carts. There's pillows, food fights. I never went, but my wife has definitely been, and she told me it was like a traumatically crazy experience. Like they it's kind of like Lord of the Flies entertainment. Like kids, there's food fights, you get to smash each other pillows, like you're in this room that's like in a dank basement. They used to pick up kids in a hearse as part of their promotion and bring them to this, like and it and the thing is like it's a basement, like the walls had graffiti on them and stuff. Like it looked really fucking scary. Yeah, it's like low budge Chucky Cheese meets Lord of the Flies, and like none of these activities can happen in a place of business in today's world. Like, all of these things are an insurance problem. But yeah, like you would get wet and soaked, and and you just keep you know, and then you'd I guess I guess they had video games and some pizza too. But basically, there's all these other like it was like madness, like they'd pile kids into a room and it would just go, they go w wild.

SPEAKER_04 26:58

Rob, you are underplaying this. Mad Hatters was like was like fucking the place where place like you didn't speak of that place. That was like fight club for kids. Yeah, it's like it was like you wanted to get invited to a Mad Hatters party, and only parents that were like super down or lived in the in the community where it was, because I think it was in Scarborough, like Victoria Park. Like it wasn't deep into Scarborough, um, because I definitely student kids in my school had heard about it and were having parties there, but like you heard about it, but you didn't quite know it was like it was like Kaiser Sose. It's like you knew it was there, but you didn't know if it was actually real. You may have spoken to someone who spoke to someone that went to Mad Hatters, but you but you never went yourself. It was like, but it was unreal. Like the things that I heard were it like are definitely corroborated by your wife's you know account, like shopping carts and think about laser tag with no lasers and no tag.

SPEAKER_03 28:00

Yeah, maybe like hoses instead of water guns, like kids were just shooting each other, eating each other with sticks, like they had like foam or something, or whipped cream that would pour out of the ceiling or something.

SPEAKER_04 28:10

Like it and this is all done like super ghetto style, like not like in the well, we live in a we live in a uh a whole like you know world of sterilization now, right? Like not we can we agree that like Freddie Fosbears, we had mad hatters, but I want to I want to kind of take like a little bit of a right turn here. We've talked about, and this was spearheaded by you when we did Gremlins, and I think my question to you is, and just an overarching one, is um Five Nights at Freddy's, like, is this what classifies as kids' horror to now? Like, is this a very is this a kids' horror film?

SPEAKER_03 28:43

Yeah, I I was trying to think about this too. I'd love to, we should uh tweet Dr. Katz and see what she says if she's seen it. Because uh when we go by the definition that she kind of formulated, and I and again, I didn't fully read her book, I read her dissertation, so I read big chunks of it, but I didn't read her new, her fully published book. She has a book called uh Kids Horror, I believe it's called, and the Mogwai uh Gizmo is on the cover of the book. And in that book, she talks about how in gremlins and how in a lot of kids' moo kids' horror movies, it's really up to the kids to solve the problem. Like the human the sorry, the humans, the adults are kind of idiots. Like they often like kind of stumble or they actually present obstacles or roadblocks to the kids and they kind of have to solve it themselves. And a lot of like even like the Jason movies kind of operate under the same idea where the teenagers have to kind of solve the problem themselves. It's their that's it's their thing to to figure out.

SPEAKER_04 29:36

Yeah, no one's coming to save them, not the bumbling police.

SPEAKER_03 29:38

Yeah, or exactly. Police are always bumbling idiots, and and and I guess what the what what part of that is it's about that process of of taking an innocent and teaching them that the world isn't necessarily a safe place, and for them to navigate and sort of come to come out the other side as being like more savvy and aware of the world and realizing like not everybody is is like you know trustworthy. So that's kind of some of the educational, uh if that's how you put it, like kind of the the kind of things you learn from a horror movie, right? So does that happen in this film? Because I find in this film it's a little more, you know, as you would normally say, like it feels very linear, like they just kind of point you into the problem and you just kind of drive through it. And there is a child character who is involved with unraveling, you know, the sort of mystery of this place and what happened. But I don't really know if she's like central to the solution. It really comes back to Mike, and Mike is really untangling his own trauma and this this uh new job he has in the dilapidated uh Fezzi uh Freddie Fazbear's location. Uh sort of this this new job is what you know brings all that stuff back to the surface and makes him sort of finally deal with what happened. But I don't know, I didn't really it didn't really it doesn't fit the model that Dr. Katz put forth, but when I look at the film and watch it, it's so kind of basic and simple. It felt to me like definitely like I actually start wondering like would I let Fox watch this? Because it really didn't have that much gore to it, did it?

SPEAKER_04 31:14

I'm not sure it had the pieces where you know the children are trying to work their way through a problem and solve it, and there's a little bit of an adventure like this underneath it all. This is you know, there's some actual bad kind of dark shit. Yeah, there's some dark shit happening in this film, and it's it's sort of that that kind of um that kind of rides underneath what would be familiar set pieces and and things that are accessible to kids. Like it looks like big teddy bears, kind of, you know what I mean? Like things that you would see at a carnival or an amusement park, right? So that's connected to the kids, or it's a pizzeria. To me, I felt there was a connection to I don't know, just the way the pizzeria looked and and just the music that they choose that they chose to. There was a little bit of that Stranger Things kind of vibe that they had kind of going on through it with the with the little bit of the Sin stuff.

SPEAKER_03 32:06

But does the movie take place in the 80s, or just that Fuz Freddie Fazbear's was in its prime in the 80s now?

SPEAKER_04 32:12

It's prime in the 80s, but I think it's current day. Yeah, but yeah, no, I I didn't I I thought that there was more kind of adult themes in this film.

SPEAKER_02 32:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:21

And I didn't feel like the I didn't at no point did I feel like that the the child characters were empowered really in any way.

SPEAKER_03 32:28

Yeah, I agree with you in that.

SPEAKER_04 32:29

I completely. Yeah, I I just they kind of were they were they were like entranced.

SPEAKER_03 32:36

It was sort of like they did you not feel like they almost instinctually do what they do, but for no apparent reason? Like, why are they violent? Why okay, so just to give you some plot here, this movie does deal with child abduction. Like these kids, uh the the fuzzy, the Freddy Fazbear, the fuzzy Freddy Fazbear um animatronic creatures are these teddy bears and stuff, but they're they have the souls of uh murdered children in them, right? And these kids were abducted and murdered, and their bodies were placed into these uh animatronics, so in a way their bodies are actually sort of incorporated in there too. But uh by now we have to assume they're just kind of missed. Like they never explained the process as to why their mind is within this body, but once it is, they become sort of these murderous, creepy creatures, and that's actually what led to the downfall of the business back in the 80s, is that they had to close it down because people started realizing there was something creepy and wrong with these animatronics, but of course nobody knew the what it actually was, and this is what we are unraveling in the film.

SPEAKER_04 33:44

And we we we enjoy, we um we go along for the ride with this story through the eyes of really Peter Mallark from Hunger Games, Joshua or Josh Hussein. Oh fuck, that's where he's from, dude. I couldn't place him. Yeah, you're right. He's he's a guy that's um he's down and out and he can't find a job, and he is looking after, he's like the guardian of his sister, his younger sister, who ends up being kind of an influential character later on in the film, but I didn't think because I guess the main thing is is that um his younger brother was abducted when he was a child.

SPEAKER_03 34:24

And he was in charge of looking after him. Just for that moment that it happened, and he blames himself for missing, not not catching this happening in when it did.

SPEAKER_04 34:34

Exactly. And then we you know, there's multiple flashbacks where he's having a flashback, and there's other children in his flashback, he's looking for his brother Gareth, is the name, and there's the other children. You know, there's spoilers in our podcast. We know that those children end up being the abducted children, but that takes a little bit that it's a little bit not confusing. I think it was uh fairly obvious as the movie went on, but to kind of circle back to what this movie is about, to me the most influential character in this film is the police officer. She's a very strange character. Very strange character, because I think this is just like uh this like the story of her dealing with uh her childhood and dealing with you know, you find out later some things. What we can get to that in a minute, but it it it we did. I never really felt, you know, if we cut we're coming back and we're talking about children's horror, none of these children uh help us to solve this problem in any way. And we even though the children are on screen through the flashbacks, and uh Mike's younger sister Abby, who ends up you know, he's a security guard, he gets a job there. Abby comes and kind of connects with the animatronics.

SPEAKER_01 35:52

Yeah, she befriends them.

SPEAKER_04 35:54

She befriends them, and she's kind of I guess in essence she's befriending the children. And it you know, they want to bring her into the fold, really, they want to kill her. But listen, a lot of young people went to see this movie. That's why I got the PG rating. I'm not sure it fits the criteria from Dr. Katz.

SPEAKER_03 36:13

Yeah, I agree. I'm not totally sure because I don't yeah. Well, it's almost like I'm holding childhood to like a higher standard or something. Like I expected um some sort of hubris to be achieved, or some sort of like, you know, uh some sort of catharsis for the audience to go through to say uh that that a child audience can go through and arrive on the other end and be like, you know, we figured this out. Instead, it's just like presented to you and like the the kid doesn't really solve the save the day or solve the problem. It's really up to Mike. And and you know, Mike is super sensitive about child abduction, obviously, and that's one of the reasons he can't hold down a job. He actually gets fired as a security guard from a mall because he sees what looks like a man taking away a kid, and so he chases him, oh my god, fights him in the in the uh fountain in the middle of the mall and fights him to a pulp. I do that with Charles.

SPEAKER_04 37:10

I do that with Charles every day. Like Charles looks at me and I I don't grab him and you know, but in the film, this dad like kind of just grabs his kid and says, We're going home, like we're done, we've had enough, right? Like by the arm or whatever. Like I do that all the time. You know, Mike interprets this as Mike inter Exactly, and then he goes over and like this is where there's no questions asked, right? Like, you know what I mean? We would want to talk about Mike's a security guard. You know, we talk about like like not jumping the gun and having good law enforcement, having a conversation. No, this guy doesn't do anything. He goes up to him, fucking cold cops, cold cocks him in the face, knocks him out. It was that actually is one of the more brutal scenes in the film, man. Yeah. Like you know what I mean? I don't think they meant it to be that bad, but it's like kick the shit out of them in a in a fountain. The kids crying. Yeah. How does he he's basically traumatized this kid now?

SPEAKER_03 38:09

Alright, so throughout this movie, there there are some boring stretches. And one of the things that happens is the main actor actually falls asleep many times uh because he can't because he's so bored with the film. Yeah, he's so bored with the film and the m and his job, but he's also um it's in his dreams that he has this recollection of the abduction scene. And so there are a lot of these like um these dream sequences, but he gets wake woken up by one, uh, and he we are introduced to the only other kind of key well, there's other characters, but this is the other key character in the film, and it is the cop who's come to check in on him, whose name is Vanessa Raglan. Vanessa cop Vanessa Raglan, played by Elizabeth Lane Lale. And this is a very odd character as we learn more. At first, she comes across as just like, hey, I'm the local cop who works in this neighborhood, and I'm just coming to check in on you. And he's like, Why are you checking in on me? First of all, like that's cool because you're hot and you're a cop, but like, what why? Like, what are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing here? And she's like, Oh, like I always check in on the new security guard here. I heard they're looking for a new one, so I always check in because I know it's a weird job. And have you noticed anything weird happen yet? Okay, so that's the intro. She is aware that weird things happened that unsolicited. Yeah. Is there anything weird happening? Yeah, because other security guards have come and gone. And by come and gone, we think they've either escaped, like, because we saw a scene of a guy who like barely escaped with his life, right? No, he died, Rob.

SPEAKER_04 39:43

He got like he got his face like chewed up, man, by like the fucking guy's toast. Right. The guy got sod.

SPEAKER_03 39:49

Okay, so yeah. So this guy got sod at fuzzy bears. And so she's just checking in the next security guard, like, oh yeah, so they guess I guess they hired someone else. So like she doesn't mention, by the way, this was a murder scene two weeks ago. Or like, I'm I'm on the homicide team and I'm working the case.

SPEAKER_04 40:08

And she's like a she's like a private, you know what I mean? She's like a first-class constable. She's a fucking patrol officer. She's a detective.

SPEAKER_03 40:15

Yeah, she works the fucking traffic. Like, I don't know what she does. She's so it's very confusing.

SPEAKER_04 40:22

She's supervising the construction sites.

SPEAKER_03 40:26

So right away there was something weird about this, but she and then she's also super comfortable as she walks around showing him around the place. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:33

And you're like, oh, you know, it's like she was it's like she worked there as a kid.

SPEAKER_03 40:39

Yeah, yeah. It's like she knows the place. Yeah, so this movie does not do a good job of being subtle.

SPEAKER_04 40:46

Like right away, you know things are up when Yeah, like it's like the whole place is exactly there, you know. I mean, the the the blinkers are going off. The best thing is is that Mike here is a deadbeat brother, and his aunt is trying to his aunt is trying to get gain custody of Abby.

SPEAKER_03 41:08

Yeah, and Jane played by Mary Stuart Master uh Masterson, who's hilarious in this.

SPEAKER_04 41:12

Yeah, I actually like her. She is willing to go to lengths to sort of frame Mike to look like a he's already not a terrible person, but he clearly should not have custody of this child because he can't even he can't hold a job, he can't do all these things.

SPEAKER_03 41:29

He's on a lot of drugs asleep at night.

SPEAKER_04 41:31

Yeah, he's like she's one step away from a murder for hire plot, but walks but but like you know, it comes a sense and like walks it back. But what she does do is she she authorizes like fucking it looks it looks like Win Butler from Arcade Fire and his gang is like they're the weirdest, they're the weirdest group of of people that are gonna break into the thing. It's like it's like it's all procured through Abby's babysitter who Mike, you know, is supposed to trust, but really is in cahoots with her boyfriend or brother, Win Butler, yeah, the bass player from Metallica, fucking two other guys that like one guy looks like he's I don't know, man, it's a it's a weird group.

SPEAKER_03 42:13

Yeah, it's like GI Joe villains, like they're all different.

SPEAKER_04 42:16

They all they have there's no reason these people should ever know each other. But that that's not the the point is like apparently like this is where people that are trying to engage in criminal activity to like find a means to an end, like they never think anything through. Their plan is to go in during the day when Mike is not supposed to be working, fuck up the place, and then somebody will notice that someone's broken in to the pizzeria when Mike wasn't working, and then Mike will be fired from it. Like it was and then because he's fired from this job, that will be the final nail in the coffin to get Abby into the aunt's arms. Right again, pothead philosophy. Here's the thing though, the cop. So they come in. Can I just say can I just state this?

SPEAKER_03 43:05

Why okay, why are there not two security guards? Why isn't there a day shift and a night shift?

SPEAKER_04 43:11

That's one thing, or why didn't you just plant some narcotics on Mike? Yeah, he's so out of it, like he's so useless. Like this would not be hard. Anyways, so yeah, the why is there no daytime? Anyways, so they go in and they they start to fuck up this the place, and clearly the animatronic bears are not happy with someone coming in to to ruin their home, and they all get killed. Now this cough, this is where Mike needs this is where like the movie just totally like is de disconnected from reality.

SPEAKER_01 43:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:45

She's like so the place is completely fucked up. And she goes to Mike, she's like he's like face like he was I don't know, really he's like oversleeping his ship, and she's like, Mike, do you know what happened? He's like, What Somebody broke into fast bears and everything's all broken and everything. And I think somebody might have left the somebody might have left the door open. Like there's easily tens of thousands of dollars worth of damage in there. She's like, if this happens again, I'm gonna have to report you. I'm like, what?

SPEAKER_03 44:17

So uh are we twisting your bodies, the bodies got disappeared? Like, do they not know that there's murders there or oh that's another thing.

SPEAKER_04 44:26

Like they're not sweeping for fibers, they're not dusting for prints. Apparently, it's just like things everywhere. Yeah. Apparently these animatronics know how to scrub when they're done. They get at the fucking bleach and they're scrubbing the walls. She never mentions that there was a fucking quadruple homicide there. All she mentions is a few pinball machines and she left the door open, but she's gonna look the other way. Mike, you're gonna have to do better. Mike's like, oh what? And they go in, like, then they put on like the music and clean it up. Anyways, at that point, I honestly I just said to myself, this is a fucking stupid movie.

SPEAKER_03 45:02

Like it got hard to follow because it was so stupid. Yeah, I start getting very confused. Like, wait, so there's murders, what's happening? Are we gonna she's the and she's a cop, so she's investigating this or she's not investigating this? I have like, what's happening? I I I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 45:18

It was really I didn't ex I didn't expect it to be like Morgan Freeman in seven, I didn't expect it to be like that gritty, but I expected that there'd be an acknowledgement of death.

SPEAKER_02 45:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:31

Like, show me, you know, it was missing. Rob, this is the first one, man. 67 episodes in. Rob, it was missing the ambulance scene.

SPEAKER_03 45:40

Okay. What's the ambulance scene?

SPEAKER_04 45:43

It's where the ambulance comes.

SPEAKER_03 45:45

Oh, like, so the scene starts, the ambulance is there. Yeah, exactly. New guy's in the corner puking his guts out. Oh my god. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 45:54

The check is looking at the bodies. Okay, Rob, here's the scene. This is how we rework the scene, right? Maybe this is our new segment. It's called Jamie's Rework.

SPEAKER_01 46:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:02

So the people are dead. The next scene, Mike is passed out on the on the on his car. Like he tried, no, he wanted to come to work early, or he was trying to get to work like before a shift at good time, but he fell asleep watching something. And then she bangs on the window. Bang! And then he opens his eyes, and what you see is there's an ambulance, and there's two gurnies taking taking the bodies out. And then she goes, Do you know what happened during the day? There was a murder and the door was locked. Mike, there's people dying again. It's bad. Like, and then all of a sudden, everything gets heightened. But they probably didn't do that because of the PG, like the PG. Because that would be like a big thing. But you know what?

SPEAKER_03 46:49

Everything you just said, you can do without showing anything. So what's wrong with that? Like, they already killed them. They killed them in the movie as it is. So everything you're saying is just adding tension. It's just adding. So now Mike is like, you know, I get what you're saying. He he went to work early, but he fell asleep in his car. He was like 40 minutes early, so he took a nap. But then he wakes up to her banging on thing, being like, And there's like ambulance, boom, like maybe not like, but just like maybe it's rain.

SPEAKER_04 47:13

So they're like, why are you here?

SPEAKER_03 47:14

Like, uh, did you not? How come you've been sitting here for 40 minutes, you didn't report anything? Like now he looks like a suspect. Now Aunt Jane has more fodder to like argue in the court with, right?

SPEAKER_04 47:24

Yeah, now we're subverting a little bit, you know, um the original story. We're adding in a little bit of suspense. But no, it's like they gloss over all that. That's all it does. This is another day of work the next day. That's all it was, like another day. Like, meep. It's like, all right, let's go.

SPEAKER_03 47:39

The only thing that happens as a result of this is that the babysitter is now dead, so Mike has to bring Abby to work with him, which he doesn't want to do because of it's a night shift, and he fucking sets up, he has like he literally sets up a tent for her to go like she has to sleep there there at night, which is like kind of weird and creepy because we know that it's a creepy place, but she loves it, she has a great time. Uh he's left without options, Rob. Yeah, he's left without options, and I think that's like what the film was trying to drive to, but I like how you would have ampl your idea amplifies that. I do love that Aunt Jane, you know, she's still at it, she's still working in the background. It it is her acting in this, uh, you know, credit to Mary Stuart Masterson, who's actually like kind of chewing on this role a little bit because she actually makes this character funny and she's like a real, like it's almost like she's walking in from a different film, and I loved it. Like she's fun, she's basically one more like the whole thing with her, it feels like it's one more foiled uh attempt away from being like a like a guy Richie movie.

SPEAKER_05 48:43

So I guess we're finished here unless either one of you has a brilliant idea, which I realize is highly unlikely.

SPEAKER_03 48:51

Like a statue where she just keeps hiring morons to try to do the job and they keep screwing it up. And I love her interplay with Doug the lawyer, who's like, I'm I shouldn't be hearing this, and she's like, Shut up.

SPEAKER_05 49:02

Sit down, Doug.

SPEAKER_03 49:03

He's like Sweat.

SPEAKER_04 49:05

Um, I mean, I want to see more of her actually. The one thing that we got to mention is my favorite Scream King number one. We get as the recruiter, as the diabolical killer, we get one Matthew Lillard. And everything that we talked about with the with the cop and with all like the weird she's acting weird throughout the film, her sense of comfort as she spends more time in Fazbear's, you know, she seems to know things, she's she gets a little like even at one point there's like places in the um in the pizzeria where she won't go. We find out she is the daughter of the owner, and the owner is the recruiter that's been giving Mike these jobs. That's Matthew Lillard, and he is the one that and this is the thing that kind of was lost on me. Like, dude, this guy is a child fucking kidnapper, a child killer. Like, there's some real and this was dark, yeah. This is we talked about the top, man. This is some fucking dark shit in here, man.

SPEAKER_03 50:20

And he killed, he must have killed Mike's uh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 50:24

That's but I think I think that's what it's kind of like. But Mike's brother's not one of these creatures, so maybe he just abducted him and killed him. But like this guy was like a psychopathic child killer who owned a child entertainment. Like, this is like right out of fucking like Ted Bundy shit, man. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, and they really just kind of like glossed that over. And sh he clearly has, you know, as all parents do, to some respect over their children, some power, and and he's leveraging tons of that power over her where she is unwilling. Like, you gotta think she's an accessory to all this too, man. She knows what's what, and she's never she's allowing this this perpetuating cycle of violence to continue. Yeah, because he's still killing, dude. He's still killing the security guards. Yeah, that's why they that like so. It's not just stopping at the kids. This guy is a fucking serial killer.

SPEAKER_03 51:16

He keeps the place uh operational, not operational because you can't go in for fun and and and play there, but he has the building still like he's still renting it or owning it. He still has the place inside uh strictly to watch over the children, and he feeds them these security guards. Like, how crazy is that? And and she knows about it. Like she's she's I hope in the next movie she turns out to be just as evil or something, because it makes no sense. Also, she like she obviously doesn't this is such poor writing, or it's just so fucked up because she obviously has decided to become a cop because she wants to like vindicate her family or herself or her father. Not vindicate her father, but she wants to she wants to do good in the world because her dad did so much evil. Or she became a cop. Or is she just as fucking crazy that she became a cop because she also wants to participate in the murders of people?

SPEAKER_04 52:15

And she can shield him in that role. Yeah, you know, they say the closer you are to danger, the further you are you away from harm.

SPEAKER_03 52:20

So one of the things that occurred to me, and this is the thing, man, the Matthew Lillard reveal has got to be the weakest reveal like any fucking movie. First of all, as soon as he saw coming like a fucking He was the only character left. There was no one else that could have been.

SPEAKER_04 52:34

Like it's gonna be an Aunt Jane? No.

SPEAKER_03 52:36

It's Doug. It's gonna be Doug the lawyer.

SPEAKER_04 52:38

No, but and just the old he's my father. I that that line felt pretty forced, and it felt like Yeah, like it felt like they'd been waiting all movie to to just to drop that and and to sh and to share that.

SPEAKER_03 52:52

And I saw it coming from a while ago. So here's the one thing though. My headcanon went a totally different way because I was like, oh, I get it. She's a ghost, or she's a spirit. Yeah, I never saw that. See, because my thought was there's no way this makes sense anymore that she'd be a real human based on everything we just said. Right? So I was like, oh, okay, because she's a ghost. Only Mike sees her, or only Mike and Abby have seen her. That's because frankly, as far as I could tell, no one else in the movie ever interacts with her, right? Yeah, and so I was like, oh, so she's not even she's some sort of spirit as well. That would have been some like some sixth sense shit anyway.

SPEAKER_04 53:28

Yeah, right. But but that would have made more sense. That was too clever for this movie, bro. Get the fuck out of here. So, anyways, and then you, you know, you you've got the basically you've got him um controlling the children through like this weird like pictures thing, and then you've got him controlling his daughter through just the the parent, you know, just the power that we need to over our manipulation over our children, and then eventually it comes to a head where you know they change like a picture, and the children are able to kind of break the break free from the spell, I guess, and they see uh they see like the bunny rabbit, right? That's how he's characterized in the pictures, like the the yellow bunny as like a murderous fucking crazy. Then they realize he was the killer. Then they realize he was the killer. So I guess he had them thinking something else happened. Well, I guess he kills them in costume or something, so they don't know.

SPEAKER_03 54:22

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 54:23

I don't know, man. It's not really clear. We don't get any backstory on like him and what made him so psychopathic. And again, we had like you know, we had um the flashback. We had like too many flashbacks. Often I I'm like, we're gonna need a sideback, we need a library scene. This one we need an ambulance scene, and we need less flashbacks because my peter millar scene, yeah, fucking yeah, exactly. Peter Mallark, he's having a flashback every minute, right? Yeah, it's like, all right, every time he goes to sleep, we're in a dream sequence. Like, all right, man, got it. That's my issue with the film.

SPEAKER_03 54:57

So if you um I if your kids that were playing this in in your classrooms, like, does that mean that the rabbit was like a big character? So maybe a lot of the fans are watching that movie waiting for the rabbit to show up. I guess. Because I think I I I would think so, because that seemed like a pivotal thing that they had to make sure he gets turned into the rabbit permanently at the end, right? Because he gets squashed into the animatronic suit, right? Yeah, he's got a big thing. No, but they he squeeze he gets squeezed into just like he killed the kids that way, too, right?

SPEAKER_04 55:27

Yeah, so they do it back to him. If I would have known this, if I would have known what I know now, I would have never let the students, I would have never like like had them talking about the movie or it doesn't matter. I actually like I think that what they're thinking is it's PG, and the kids are gonna be too young to really get like how diabolical this shit is, um, because there's no blood, there's no real gore, it's you know, there's no torture stuff. Although there's some scenes that are a little bit uneasy.

SPEAKER_03 56:03

There's definitely things that make you imply torture though, because the kids get squeezed in those animatronic suits. They were gonna do it to Abby. Yeah, which would be all in the mind of the Christian video game maker.

SPEAKER_04 56:15

Might cough on this guy's selling Bibles with Trump now.

SPEAKER_03 56:19

All right, well, there's very few murders and deaths in this film when you really do the totals. But Jamie, have you got the metrics to tell us about? Get ready for monster metrics.

SPEAKER_04 56:30

I got the metrics to right, right?

SPEAKER_03 56:32

Like, give us the monster metrics on this movie.

SPEAKER_04 56:35

It's funny, there's a couple of jump scares, man. I got so Five Nights for Fridays, I got the asbums coming in at six, but this is pretty low percentage, man. We're like almost like a 10% as the dread metric. So when I, you know, one thing that I'm seeing is if we're in that 10%, you know, this movie came in at like an hour was like an hour and 50 minutes. It's long. And six, uh, six, six asbums, it's not good. Spims. Spins were like five. These scares, fuck scares per minute. How about scares per movie? How about how about just give me some more scares? We did, you know, The Exorcist Believer. We were kind of split on that film, but at least we had like a good kind of 20-minute block there where like it got really creepy and there was good jump scares. This just was like you opened up a you opened up like a clock cupboard and like something jumped out. I the scares were not great. Again, I always think, and this is one of the things like we're we're in a negative, we're in an integer area with the with the cams, like child alert moments. We had kids working against other kids in this film, right? Like the one blonde boy, the the Malfoy character in the film is kind of talking to Mike, saying that like, yo, they need Abby. They're trying to bring so the kid's being manipulated, he's under spell, but still, man, he's not there's no child alert.

SPEAKER_03 57:52

Yeah, because Abby's actually being like friends with them, so she doesn't provide it.

SPEAKER_04 57:57

She's being groomed, she's being like hunted, she's being she's targeted, right? So there's no real child alert moment, it's it's a child attack moment. And again, interestingly enough, Rob. The last two films, no dams.

SPEAKER_03 58:14

Well, there was no was there a dog or in this movie?

SPEAKER_04 58:18

I if there was, it didn't alert anybody.

SPEAKER_03 58:21

There was only one. There was one dog. It was uh Aunt Jane's little uh purse dog.

SPEAKER_04 58:26

Yeah, but that's not it, anyways. You need okay, so one of the things is you need a dog to alert somebody about something for the movie to be good. Bones the crime dog. I'm serious. People are gonna laugh at me, and you know, people are gonna say what they say, but like I'm trying to make I'm trying to make some some inroads into some original thought here. You need dogs to alert somebody for it to be a successful movie. That's what I'm saying. Uh again, zero dams. Uh, we had some kills, we had five kills in this film, the in kill intensity, you know, connected to the PG. It's funny you say that because I came in at at a five level for killing intensity, only because a little bit of pain would be implied. Um, killer arriving on screen, you got the big reveal at the end, kind of like the the the killer is unmasked, you know, that whole idea. I would say when I look at the metrics for this film, and we think about, you know, we're starting to create some metrics now, Rob. We're gonna have to start thinking about a grading system. So we're collecting data, but we're gonna need a grading system. So, you know, what is a 62? What's a what's a what's a what's an 86? Like we're gonna have to quantify these and how they actually relate to applying it to a film rather than just look at them in in this siloed sense. You follow me? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 59:53

Yeah, I don't even mean you wanna you wanna bar graph this shit. Sure. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 59:58

No, no, no, I'm not talking about bar graphing it. I'm not showing, I'm talking about a grading system, I'm talking about the idea of like what is a good movie, and then using all these metrics to influence like our gradings. Anyways, we can get into that. This movie is very, very, very mediocre in my metrical, in my metric data. And I think that bears true in the film being pretty mediocre in general, Rob.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:29

Well, before we get to the review, Jamie, let's give away our Running Scared Award. I'm gonna make a run for it. At the Running Scared Podcast, we like to give away something we call the Running Scared Award, where we honor the character, cast member, or person or thing, could be an animal even, that we felt got the most steps in, got got the most exercise, got a sweat on. Jamie, do you have a character that you think deserves the Running Scared Award?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:05

Oh, fuck yeah, man. I'm gonna come in with. I'm gonna come in with. I'm gonna come in with Grant Feely.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:14

That's a great name. I grant his feelings. What what is he who is he?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:20

I'm gonna come in with Grant Feely. Grant Feely is the ghost child that runs away every time Mike has his dream. He's the blonde boy, the guy just chasing him into the woods all the time. He's he he keeps working on his start.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:35

You know what I mean? That guy's getting these guys getting really good work with the start.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:40

Getting that explosive, uh, getting that explosive for a spring step, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:44

Absolutely. So there's there's mine, man. So I'm gonna give I'm gonna give a what's what to Grant Feely, and I love how in the IMDB, it's Grant Feely, ghost kid.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:56

Yeah, it usually credits what what monster they wear, too, right? Which uh which I which animatronic they were, but uh you can't their voices don't really like cross over once they go into that form, so it's really hard to tell. I'm gonna give the Running Scared Award to Michael P. Sullivan, aka Doug, because when we're talking about getting a sweat on, Doug is sweating bullets every scene, the two scenes he's in, because his client is literally orchestrating criminal activity, and he's sitting there with her lawyer being like, I'm not supposed to be here, and he's just sweating buckets. I also get the the distinct feeling that they probably edited some some lines out there. He probably totally wants to bone Aunt Jane, but he just can't get with her, and she just keeps teasing him and bringing, you know, just just keep pulling him along a little bit more. I like that.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:45

I'm looking at this IMDB. Who are all these go to IMDB. There's like there's like fucking 40 people listed as cast. Who are all these people, man?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:58

Well, you got the crime gang, the five crime gang people. Like, no, like there's like five kids. Uh, then you got the five main characters. Uh, I could say 15. Let's see. Oh, you do get the flashback of the parents, so you do see them once.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:17

Okay, I don't know. There's just seems like there's a lot here, but okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:20

The pharmacist.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:22

Yeah. Who's the pharmacist?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:24

This is a really thorough IMDB introduction.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:27

Everybody's social worker. How do people I don't even know who they are in this film? If you're saying he's a pitcher for the Oakland A's. What the fuck is he doing?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:34

Yeah, so these people got like one line, so not much.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:38

Yeah, so just uh Josh uh Hutcherson, Matthew Lillard, Matt Pat, um Mary Stuart Anderson, Piper Rubio. Like, you know what I mean? A star-studded group here, right? Like, you gotta think the salary's going out. 20 mil, right? Like, you know, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:56

Do you think hand these people can command that much money?

SPEAKER_04 1:03:58

No, Josh Hutcherson, that guy, yeah, man.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:00

Maybe he can. He's the only face on here that I thought was like.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:04

He would have been I bet you his salary was a million bucks for this or something like that. For sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:07

Mary Stuart Masterson is probably the only big actor. Matthew Lillard's not exactly like working all the time these days, is he? He's how many Scooby-Doo movies is he doing anymore?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:17

He's a legacy guy, man.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:18

He's in the horror world these days.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:20

That's true.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:20

He probably gets bit cameos all the time.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:23

Anyways, um Let's wrap this movie up.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:26

Actually, but yeah, let's let's let's let's review this thing. You want to go first or me?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:30

Uh sure. I will go first. And uh you've gone first.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:33

Do it under we're gonna make this under two minutes.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:35

Yeah, let's do it. Uh, I can do it really sick quickly because I didn't like this movie. It wasn't very good. Um it was really boring. That was my actually my biggest gripe with this film, beside it being kind of really hard to figure out and parse out some of the nonsense that we were talking about, like the daughter and how she's been allowing this to happen her whole life. Um the other problem I have with this film is just it drags on for a long time and it's kind of boring, and not much is happening, and you don't really get a lot of things that make you like Mike in any special way. Like I know he's struggling with something that you want to support him on. He's trying to keep his family together, what's left of his family together. But, you know, uh, I just don't feel like you ever connect with him in any sort of personal way. You're usually just watching him kind of like blink his way through existence and try to sort it out. But yeah, the convoluted area like the of with the daughter is so screwed up to me that like maybe it is gonna be the sequel where they reveal she's just as evil as her dad. There was no surprises. Um yeah, and I mean it was shot well, looked well, looked good, but uh I don't know. I think I would have wanted more time in that arcade, more creepy stuff. And I never felt scared of the monsters at all. I always thought they were really easy to escape or to f to uh to overcome. And dude, what was with that like weird animated like head thing that was bouncing around? That looks so fucking dumb. Yeah, that was like a Super Mario Brothers, like you know what I mean. I don't know what it was. Are they I think you have to have a connection to the franchise to maybe enjoy this movie more than we did because we don't have a deep connection to it. Maybe some of you out there who know it might have enjoyed a little bit more of that. But overall, I just thought even I bet you more people who really like Five Nights at Freddy's were probably more disappointed by this movie than actually liked it. Okay, so what's my rating? What's my rating? I'm gonna go real low. This is probably the lowest I've ever given a film, and it's not even like it deserves it because it's poorly made, it just isn't interesting. So I'm giving it two steps.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:33

Rob, honestly, man, it's why we've been friends for so long, man. You are one charitable motherfucker. Two footsteps?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:41

Well, I'm not gonna go with the zero because the acting is not bad. There are some bits and pieces, it looks good. The idea is still kind of original, like a Chuck E. Cheese thing is original. Uh it just isn't a good movie.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:54

Listen.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:57

My review doesn't need to go over the things we've already talked about. This is derived from a video game, it's an adaptation onto the big screen. Uh somebody that is more favorable to the franchise is gonna say, Man, you guys didn't talk anything about the animatronics, or man, the way those how badass they were on guitar and the way they played the music, that was so fucking cool, man. You guys are so old, man. You know what? And what I would say to you is, all right, it's fine to have your opinion. Uh, but honestly, that that wasn't that cool if that's what you think is cool. And the movie like the movie was just not that good because at the end of the day, if it's not gonna be believable, it should be scary. And if it's not gonna be scary, it should be kind of like there should be something interesting or or funny, maybe make it funny. I don't know. Yeah, that's another thing. It wasn't very funny, it wasn't funny at all. Yeah, like and I found myself in the in I found like we just you know, we had a um we had a little bit of like a a laundry room scenario happening, right? We had a rinse and repeat for about 40 minutes in the middle where we had like Mike going to work, might have Mike having a dream sequence, yeah, and then just like the same thing happening, it's like, all right, we understand you have this, they have this emotional trauma with your brother, but where is it going, right? Like just I don't know. See, I I kind of liked I liked the the beginning when you got like the the cool like 80s music and like the Freddie Fazbear, you know what I mean, like that kind of stuff happened. I was like, you gotta do you know Mike Yakoto knows I like lasers, you gotta have more fucking lasers in a movie like this, you know what I mean? More like, I don't know, like you know what I mean, cool if if at some point when they go in and then it's like the whole thing turns into like a big fucking roller derby, or like they come out on roller skates and there's lasers happening, and fucking the guys from Pandorum come out.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:02

What was that show that was with American Gladiators, but it was the roller skating one?

SPEAKER_04 1:09:07

Roller games, man.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:10

Anyways, you just I think you just needed to lean into that kind of nostalgic vibe because I thought we were gonna get more of that, but then that was a little bit lost in the film. And like I'm saying that's like a little thing just to kind of amp it up a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:21

I did I thought they were gonna get trashed a little more. Did they get beat up very much, those animatronics?

unknown 1:09:27

Did they?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:28

Well, I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:29

You think it was gonna be like freaking Pacific Rim and they were gonna fight each other? Like there are ghost children possessing giant robots.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:35

Technically, they're animatronics.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:36

You do I did thought you would get that sort of zombie effect where the thing is barely able to walk, but it's still coming at you.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:41

Oh fucking, how funny would that have been if Mike, if like if the cop, the daughter cop, she's like, Dad, I've fucking had enough, and then you find out she's like been she's been in a workshop for the last 10 years, and then through the door comes the fucking animatronic like squirrel.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:58

No, no, it would be it would be uh it would be a German Shepherd as a it'd be a cop German Shepherd.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:03

Chase from Paw Patrol. You know, he's not asking questions first, he's fucking getting Marshall on the scene.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:10

She's on the case, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:12

Oh my god, that would have been hilarious. And like then they start to fucking duke it out. That is a movie.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:21

That or the Aunt Jean's uh Guy Richie movie, I would have I would have loved to watch.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:27

You know what? I would have loved to have watched The Paw Patrol, you would have loved to watch Guy Richie, but those weren't the movies we watched. Unfortunately, this movie I kind of watched and it I just I didn't connect really with anything, and I always ask myself, as the last thing I'm gonna say, and then we're gonna close this off. I always ask myself, is it because is this movie do I not like this movie because of my age? Or am I giving it a fair am I trying to look at this through the perspective and just trying to be as unbiased as I possibly can? And I can never look at it through the eyes of a 10-year-old, but I can be aware of looking at it through the eyes of a 40-year-old, and and I think that is at least it's the best that I can do. That being said, I didn't love it. This is getting one footstep rating from Jamie Rod.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:20

Oh that's right in the right in the nuts with that one footstep.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:26

Anyways, all right, listen, this has been Five Nights at Freddy's. We want to take some time, said some good laughs on it. Last episode was uh Exorcist Believe your if you had haven't had a chance to download that, please do so. Really good, and a really funny uh clip that you cut that's on that's on social. Go check that out. Send us an email at the at the running scared podcast at gmail.com. Yeah, you can send us or take a look at some of our uh social content at Instagram at running scared pod X at running scared PD. And we want to share something really important with you, but we can't do it yet. It's coming. We were we we hope it would be coming a little bit sooner, but we're gonna be patient with it. It's something that we think is gonna be really great and something that we're connected to and committed to for the next few years. So when that starts, yeah, when that starts to happen, we're gonna share it with everybody. It's it's gonna be it's gonna be good. We hope it's gonna be good, we think it's gonna be good. It's just uh we want it to get happening.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:26

So it probably won't happen until the summer, it looks like now. But in the meantime, definitely check out our Patreon. If you want to help support us, that'd be amazing. But if you are unable to do monthly support, that's fine. Check out our shop where we have our jog cast for sale, including our latest one called The Belly, which is absolutely awesome, by the way. It's got awesome. Really great uh acting by um a guy named Son of Sonnet and another actor named Tristan Snyder. They fucking kill it in this thing. Um we are really happy with that one, and we are going to be producing, we are starting to produce. We're well, we're in we're in works right now uh on a new one. So another JOCAS is in the is in the cooker right now. We are excited about that. So keep coming back. We will keep plugging away. We'll try to get, you know, maybe back to our bi-weekly schedule eventually. Has more to do with our personal lives being just a little much to juggle right now, but it is something we hope to do again in the future. So thanks for listening. Anything else, Jamie?

SPEAKER_04 1:13:27

No, it's been good. Rob, good chat, and um we will catch you next time on Running Scared.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:45

The Running Scared podcast is written and produced by Robert Lendrum and Jamie Roberts, with original music by Jamie Roberts. This episode edited by Robert Lendrum. Check us out on social and shoot us an email. And come back next time for another episode of Running Scared.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:05

Welcome to Freddy Fazbears, where fantasy and fun come to life.