Proven Not Perfect
Proven Not Perfect
The Art of Compromise with Florida Restaurant & Lodging Association President and CEO, Carol Dover
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Leadership isn't about having all the answers—it's about building bridges that connect people, perspectives, and possibilities. Just ask Carol Dover, who has spent three decades as the President and CEO of Florida's Restaurant and Lodging Association, steering the state's economic engine through hurricanes, economic downturns, and political shifts.
In this candid conversation with Shontra Powell, Carol reveals how her winding career path—from waiting tables to becoming Florida's Fire Marshall to serving in the Governor's office—prepared her for leading one of Florida's most powerful industry associations. With refreshing honesty, she shares that many of the challenges she faced when first entering the hospitality world (immigration reform, workforce housing, and minimum wage debates) remain unresolved today, reflecting the cyclical nature of policy work.
"Never burn a bridge," Carol advises, explaining how this principle guided her through three decades of changing administrations and political landscapes. Her integrity-first approach to lobbying helped her achieve what many considered impossible: the repeal of Florida's burdensome drink tax, a victory that took years of patience and compromise to accomplish. For women navigating male-dominated spaces, she offers clear-eyed counsel about maintaining boundaries and professional respect.
The conversation takes an unexpected turn when Carol courageously shares a deeply personal story she's rarely told publicly. "Giving up is not an option," she explains, a philosophy that has carried her through countless professional challenges.
Whether you're building your career, leading a team, or seeking to make meaningful change in your industry, Carol's wisdom about patience, integrity, and the lost art of compromise offers a masterclass in sustainable leadership. Listen in as two accomplished professionals discuss what it truly takes to transform personal tragedy into purposeful action.
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Introduction to Carol Dover
Speaker 1Hey, proven Not Perfect. This is Chantre Powell, and I have an amazing conversation for you today. In fact, this is so good, this is so good that we hung up the call and do what we do when I host a guest on this podcast. I spent a little time with the guests just absorbing what just happened and agreeing that we both felt something really special that we were bringing forward in service to others. And we did this. And my guest was basically, like you know, I want to share something that I have only ever shared one other time with this podcast community and the listeners, because the one other time that I shared it it actually had an effect of being a life supporting bit of information for another. And man, she said that, and I said are you sure? And man, she said that, and I said are you sure you're sure? And she said yes, and we roll the tape again.
Speaker 1The reason that I tell you this is because you need to listen to this podcast for the first ending, which is not trivial. It's a typical Chantrepaul like 40 minute podcast, right, we'll say goodbye, and then you'll hear part two. So it's dropping just like that Part one and then part two. So, without further ado, I get out the way and I allow you to enjoy my conversation with Carol Dover, president and CEO at Florida Restaurant and Lodging Association. This one's good. Y'all You're going to learn. You're going to learn a lot about some relevant hot topics as it relates to the state of Florida and you don't want to miss it, carol Dover.
Speaker 2Yes, chantra. Hello lady.
Speaker 1When South Florida connects with North Florida, it's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2It absolutely is, and ironically, we're both talking about storms ahead that we're about to have.
Speaker 1So welcome to summer, welcome to summer, and probably what is true is that today. I'm really glad that we are on the ground right now and not in the sky because that's probably a bumpy amen.
Speaker 2Amen, absolutely me too oh my god.
Speaker 1Well, so look, I first have to start by just acknowledging your career success 30 years, uh, leading in the hospitality and lodging industry, lodging and restaurant industry. So formally it is the Florida Lodging and Restaurant Association.
Speaker 2Florida Restaurant and Lodging Association. Lodging Association there you go.
Speaker 1That was a test for you, not for me, totally you.
Speaker 2Yep, yeah, it's funny because we were FRA when I was first hired. The Florida Restaurant Association and the Florida Hotel Motel Association ran upon some financial challenging times and they asked us to take them over.
Speaker 2And it made a little bit more sense. When was that? 2006. Okay, and it made a little more sense to be FLRA Florida Lodging and Restaurant Association. However, my restaurant guys said, nope, we're not doing that, we are taking them over. They're not taking us over and we will be the lead title. So it is the Florida Restaurant and Lodging Association.
Speaker 1Okay, that's a little bit of insider information and background. That's pretty fantastic. Little bit of insider information and background, that's pretty fantastic. So 30 years. So tell me what was going on in the industry when you first got there 30 years ago and how does that compare to what's going on now, like what were some of the big themes back when you were, you know, just cutting your teeth on it.
Speaker 2Yeah, you know that's a great question, chandra, because one of the things that we have learned or I've learned over, you know, 30 years with this industry, but you know a span of 40 plus years in my career is that it truly is a round world.
Speaker 2Issues that we're dealing with today, ironically, are some of the exact same issues that we dealt with 30 years ago Minimum wage, labor, workforce, housing, immigration, cost of commodities, fuel. You know, really interesting that we just keep seeing a lot of the same issues, some of which we're working very hard to try to get settled, which would be like immigration. It's one that's been that can, has been kicked down the road for decades and, no matter what party is in office, they want to work on it, and then the other party doesn't, and then the other party takes over and they want to work on it, and they just can't seem to get on the same page, which is a shame, because we need to fix it. For an industry like ours, we need to fix it. Well, it's the same for our state, like ours, we need to fix it, like ours too. Right?
Speaker 1Exactly, I think about the state of Florida and the memory for most families in the United States that take you back to the state at some point, to the beaches to experience, the amusement parks to experience all the queen.
Speaker 1As you get older, you're growing right. Then you're coming for the retreats and the nightlife in the South or wherever you go, and I love that you said that. You sort of remind us of how circular this whole thing is and how it doesn't really matter what your viewpoint is. At the end of the day, the same things are really important.
Speaker 2That's exactly right. It is so true. We we jokingly, in all due respect, you know as I lobby federally as well as state. All due respect, you know, is I lobby federally as well as state, state. You know, 60 days.
Speaker 2Well, this session was a little bit interesting, but you know the legislature has to pass one bill and that's the budget. That's it Now. You know, every year they pass more than that. But you know, it comes, it goes, it moves. We know what happened, but federally we call it like moving and turning a battleship. It just we laugh about. We could literally take the papers that we're lobbying today and just put them in a drawer and pull them out next year because we'll go back and we'll be lobbying the same issues. We'll go back and we'll be lobbying the same issues, and it is.
Speaker 2It's frustrating, but I'm hopeful. You know how in life sometimes things have to get to their worst boiling point before they are taken seriously enough that they're fixed, and I hope that immigration will be one of those, because farmers are hurting, construction is hurting hospitality and tourism. It's critical. We need our immigrants. We do not want the criminals and we don't want the ones that maybe that came across the border in the last four to five years, because we don't want the ones that you know that maybe that came across the border, you know, in the last four to five years, because we don't have any.
Immigration Reform & Essential Workers
Speaker 2You know we don't really have a handle on who they are, but we do know who many of our immigrants are that have been here for decades and have worked in our hotels and worked in our restaurants, and you know they're not criminals, they're here to work and we are advocates of some form of a essential worker program that will give them a work visa and allow them to get a legal driver's license to go to and from work, a Social Security card that says that they are here on a work permit only so they can pay taxes and come out of hiding. But they will not be citizens. And that's where we have this great piece of legislation that we hired some of the best immigration lawyers in the country and that's what it says and in a nutshell, it says exactly what I just described. It is not amnesty. They do not become a legal citizen, they become a essential worker with the right to go to work and that's it, and pay taxes, which is a novel idea.
Speaker 1Well it is. I mean it is a novel idea because I can remember, you know, I've done global succumbance in my career where there was a work visa that was filed for me to be a white collar professional working in the finance industry in.
Speaker 1Europe Right it's. It's no different than than that, and what I, what I love about what you're pointing out as well, is that there comes a time where, if we want to see things move forward and advance for the good of everybody, that we think about the compromise that is required for us all, and I tend to strongly believe that it's times like this where it takes, yes, there's understanding one another's viewpoint, but then there's also thinking about the greater good, and if I may please invite you to correct me if my facts are wrong, but as I think about, you know even just the state of.
Speaker 1Florida. You know the amount of revenue that quite frankly, you oversee as president and CEO of this entity, that comes to this state on an annual basis is Fortune 500 level as a public entity, and no different than if we were thinking Fortune 500 as a public entity.
Speaker 1we would be thinking about what are the things that protect the P&L right and there's always a component of are you taking care of the employee base, the people? And I don't know how you get that equation solved in a state where not everybody wants to be in the service industry. Not everybody does. So how do you democratize that but at the same time support security? Okay, I'll give you that as a compromise. These are tough things.
Speaker 1So I have to ask you this, because you're the first person who has a title of lobbying person, who has a title of lobbying lobbyist and a portion of that in your responsibility. So I really love for you know those, those women who are in career, who maybe are in a particular industry maybe the same, maybe different who are finding themselves really passionate about legislation and regulation and change and they believe that the voice and the role of a lobbyist is something that's calling them. Can you maybe just unpack a little bit? What does it entail to be a lobbyist? What would you say are the key skill sets and what makes somebody really good at it?
Speaker 2Well, I would first start by saying it's important to be a good communicator and be a people person. But you can be a good communicator and you can be a people person, but if you have lack of integrity, I think you should stay as far away from the process as you can, because integrity is what makes good, sound policy, when people can trust what you have to say. I mean, I would hope that I could say that in all the years that I have lobbied an issue, I have always been one that tells both sides. I don't just go in and tell a member our side of the story because somebody is going to come in the door right behind me and say why my idea might be a bad idea. So I always feel that it's important to build that trust and build that integrity by members.
Speaker 2Appreciate that you say okay, now that I've told you why I'm advocating for this piece of legislation on the behalf, by the way, of Florida's largest employer, florida's economic engine. I mean, we have to remember that keeping our industry solid and fluid is critical to the state's budget and the state's economy. But with all that, integrity is so important. And to the women and the girls, or whatever the ladies that are thinking whether they're really young and they think, oh, that just looks like a great career. I have a saying that I try to teach to my daughters and I say to the women on my staff is never cross that line. Never cross the line.
Speaker 2It may sound fun on that night when everybody's having a great time and you know, in our industry there's, you know, there is a little bit of it's a lot of and you have to be very careful to balance cocktail hour and where you go and who you're with with the um, the position that you're representing, because once you get painted with a bad brush, it is so hard to undo it. It is so hard, and so I always try to say just remember, you know there is a line, and many times women are asked to cross that line. Don't, that's. All I can say is don't, carol you're speaking from a history.
Lobbying with Integrity
Speaker 1I mean honestly. We've gone through this movement of since the early nineties until now, where we've seen all sorts of movements Me Too, otherwise and there really is a confidence by which women are speaking up about some of the less than favorable experiences that career has put them in. I think what you're saying is it doesn't matter what career you choose. Right, Understand very clearly that you are your biggest advocate, both in a compromised situation or an advanced professional situation.
Speaker 1You are your biggest advocate and that's important to understand and be responsible with that that's exactly right. Excellent advice.
Speaker 2And never forget that you're representing whatever company you work for. Yes, you know I happen to represent an industry that has, you know, I have over 10,000 members. We, you know, we are a massively large, but I feel like every time I'm out front I'm representing the group as a whole. Not, carol, not, you know, my best friends. I'm representing the industry and it's critical that when my members see what I have to say or what I'm doing, that they're proud and they feel that you know that we handled ourselves with the best of intention and the highest of integrity.
Speaker 1I love that Beautiful, Okay. So here's a question. Okay, In particular, as I think about being in the hospitality space. There's a grace under pressure that the best restaurants and the best hotel experiences that one can have anywhere in the world. There's a grace under pressure that I see the leaders really navigate, that. I'd love to hear your thoughts. You know, as you are sort of representing this entity for the state, this entity for the state, what's one personal practice or mindset?
Speaker 2that helps you with grace, even on the tough days. Well, I have a lot of sayings, and my staff would. If they were all sitting around me, I could not say a word and they could all tell you what my sayings are, because they hear them all the time. I think probably one of the biggest ones that will allow you to have grace under fire is to never burn a bridge, and that's one of my biggest sayings. Is the bridge that you burn?
Speaker 2Today, after decades of experience, I can tell you that one day you're going to need that bridge. You may think at the time I'll never need it. I don't care if it ever crosses in front of me again, it will. I always say that God has a sense of humor and you might torch that bridge and then he will put it right back in front of you one day to see how you're going to handle it. So I say be a carpenter. Bridges, don't burn them, because you will need that bridge. So build a bridge. And that takes grace under fire many, many times you will get challenged. Takes grace under fire many, many times you will get challenged, and I can't tell you how many times. It would have been so much easier to just light a match torch. It don't ever come back to me again with you, know. And oh, I have to like think. How do I navigate building this bridge instead of burning it? Oh sorry, go ahead. No, that's probably one of the most challenging parts in life, not just my job.
Speaker 1I was going to say, carol, absolutely right, I think in life, but I also think that it ties back to being successful in your role in particular. Right it's, it's always thinking about. What I'm hearing is very much sage advice Always think long game, it's so easy, that's right. Always.
Speaker 2Right, right, exactly right so.
Speaker 1Exactly right. So I want to roll the bus back a little bit because you know you've got folks that are saying, that are wondering okay, how did this journey come about right? And so what did little Carol dream of becoming, and how far is that from the woman you are today?
Speaker 2I'm going to send you a video that was done on my biggest honor of my career, which was the Hall of Fame Tourism Hall of Fame, because I felt that they recapped this incredibly well. At the very end, my husband tells a quick little story about how when we were newlyweds, practically, I was at an event and I showed, said, do you see that man over there in that suit? And he said yeah. He said, I said and it's a true story, I want to be him someday and that him was the CEO of the Florida Restaurant Association.
Speaker 1Did you know that.
Building Bridges, Not Burning Them
Speaker 2Did you know that I did? Wow, oh yeah, I've wanted this job, my husband says since I was born. But I would say probably, you know, right after I graduated from college with a hotel and restaurant degree. So it is my field and my passion. I grew up in the industry in Orlando. It's truly kind of all I know. I had the honor of going to work for the beer industry of Florida. I Tallahassee is not the hotel metropolis, particularly back then the big hotel Mecca I out of Florida state hotel and restaurant school. You're guaranteed a job and mine was Houston Oaks in Houston. But I was madly in love and didn't want to leave and so I went to work for the beer industry of Florida and that's where I cut my teeth on association management, lobbying. And you know now I look back on those 10 years. That's where my first 10 years was spent in.
Speaker 2In this job we spend a lot of time dealing with the alcohol laws. As you can imagine, hotels and restaurants both sell and deal with a lot of alcohol issues. Um, so that 10 years was invaluable for my walk and journey. That I at the time had no idea. I just knew that I used to say I just want. I love trade association world, but I would love to run a trade association. That's either hotels or restaurants, and so I got the restaurant one. And then, lo and behold, who would have ever known that we would merge with hotels later, and a little over 10 years in this job we merged. So so it has, and it's been an interesting.
Speaker 1You were manifesting before. That was a word, Carol. I just gotta say you were manifesting before. That was like a relevant word.
Speaker 2Yeah, maybe, maybe I was I.
Speaker 2You know my my career walk has been incredibly blessed. I feel the I. I love what I do. I've loved every job, um, but I I look back on the bridges that were there for me and every step of the way um made me one step closer to being ready for this job, and I didn't even know it.
Speaker 2I went on later in my career to become hotel and restaurant director for the state of Florida, loved that job, but I was the regulator. So then I spent years learning about the regulation of the industry and wearing that dark, deep hat sometimes that our members don't like, you know, the big inspector people that come along and I oversaw that agency for a couple of years. And then I was asked to go inside the governor's office and be deputy chief of staff for the governor, and I didn't want to do that. I did not want to do that. I loved being hotel and restaurant director. I was so in my swim lane and just loved it, but I went kicking and screaming a little bit, I turned it down and then I got a phone call from a good Senator friend of mine, who said okay, just, you know you, you little kid, you young little thing, you certainly don't understand.
Speaker 2But when you get a call in a few minutes from the governor's office again, the answer is yes, sir. And when do I start? Because you, you don't say no when asked to serve. Yes, so I went, I loved it. Then I learned what I call behind wizard's curtain, the back of the house, and I've also learned that the wizard changes every four to eight years. But one thing doesn't change Once you know and understand the back of the house, if you will, behind the curtain. That too has been invaluable to me in my career. So every single step has built another piece of the bridge to get me to where I sit today, and I feel incredibly blessed and fortunate for it.
Speaker 1So when the call comes, you really take the time to appreciate the ask and also the opportunity. I think it's something that's really huge and and you know I compare and parallel even my corporate experiences right, it's no different where you get a call and an opportunity, and certainly we all have the privilege of saying thank you. No, thank you, but you're leaving an impression that you're not those experiences.
Speaker 2Right, I'm sorry, but I have to say this, and truly not every job offer is meant for everyone. I mean, I know people who have come to me and said, oh and you know, and like, if it doesn't feel right, don't do it. In my case, truly, god just laid down another stepping stone for me, another stepping stone for me, another step, and then every stepping stone. Now I look back and I know that there was a much bigger power planning this walk of life for me, to get me where I am today. Wow, and it's been. It's been an amazing journey.
Speaker 1Would you say that you sort of you? You there was a piece about you. There was a piece about every decision that you made to know that, even if it wasn't something that you thought you actively were calling for, it felt like the right thing to do.
Speaker 2Absolutely yeah. Every time I mean it, it it may. I can't say that I didn't question things. Um, like a quick, quick story, my husband and I lost a house to a fire on seven days before the election of which um sorry, of which we. We lost that election. So I was going to be out of a job and Tom Gallagher had one insurance commissioner and called me and said look, I, I don't want you to worry about the fact that y'all lost the governor's office. I have a job for you and I want you to come be the first woman fire marshal. Wow, and, of course, talk about a job that you're thinking. Oh my gosh, you're kidding me. He was like you, just lost a house to fire. You understand the importance of this and I'm thinking but I don't want to do that. I don't want to.
Speaker 2That walk and journey gave me insight on an issue that I didn't know at the time was going to be one of, in many times, the biggest issue, particularly in the hotel world, because fire marshal laws in hotels are unbelievably complicated and important, and so I learned all about the fire marshal and the regulatory side of it and how it works and what our members have to put up. You know, I mean it's sometimes it is a challenge, and so it's been. That's been another piece of the puzzle that I look back and I'm like I didn't want to do that job but oh my gosh, I got in it, and that's the other thing. Sometimes you get given your delivered things that maybe you think may not be exactly what I want, or thank you God just for letting me have this job opportunity.
Career Journey & Unexpected Paths
Speaker 2But it's not really do the best you can do in every. If I was an elevator operator, I would have to learn everything about the elevator. You know, do the best you can do, cause I can honestly say I did that. And every, every time I question is this right for me? I went in with I'm going to do it better than anybody I'm going to, I'm going to try to find perfection in this job, and I really think that attitude is what always opened another door, right? You know there's, there's. Then you look back and you go. I guess I did make a lot of really good friends in that job and then I got offered another job. You know, another step.
Speaker 1So I really I am excited for the people that are listening to this because you're dropping truths. I just have to just double click on a couple that you just sort of threw out there and I just want to make sure people pay attention to this. It's not always the glamorous, pretty sexy thing that you had in your mind. It's interesting in your mind. It's interesting, I believe, that sometimes we will have a vision of what we want to do and what we aspire to, and we have this false sense of expectation that we can just, like I dream of Jeannie click our fingers and we're there, right, and what people don't share enough, I think, which Proven, not Perfect, is changing. That is the journey isn't a snap of the fingers overnight nor is it known in advance.
Speaker 1So I bet, if I go back to Carol in the decision to take the appointment by the governor and Carol in the decision to answer the call of Tom Gallagher there, were things at that time that you knew, but there was so much more that you didn't know.
Speaker 1And at that moment, it couldn't have looked like you were further away from what you said you wanted to be and I just whether it's my story, whereas other stories of amazing women that are proven in what they do. Is this acknowledgement, at a certain point, that man, it's almost funny that, if I want to talk myself out of that road, that I could have talked myself out of.
Speaker 2There's no way I would have been prepared to be here. Like there's one thing.
Speaker 1It's another thing to be prepared for success, and I do believe that if you anchor on the wrong things, you miss that point. Yeah, wow, that is so good. Yeah Well, I would love to hear kind of in the spirit of that you know making the pivots and following the call, is there a leadership moment that you remember that made you actually feel proven, even though, even if it was imperfect, you were like you know what I feel like, I know what I'm doing, I feel like I know what I'm talking about. I feel like an OYM.
Speaker 2Wow, that's a that's tough. I I've had a lot of career blessings and milestones that picking. You know, um Florida had a horrendous tax that was imposed on the um hotel and restaurant industry many, many years ago, called the drink tax. It was very, very burdensome and you don't undo taxes. Usually that's tough. But when Governor Bush became governor he knew that I was passionate about this issue and he committed to me that in his tenure that we would repeal the drink tax. No state in the country had ever repealed an alcohol tax at that time and repealing a tax is just not easy. Yeah, but I'll never forget the day.
Speaker 2That's revenue that the state is counting on and over at the over then a hundred and, yeah, 150 million at the time. Today it would be two and three times that, because we're going back.
Speaker 2Yeah, I just go way back so that everybody understands like that's not a trivial amount of money in the state of florida, no, and, and it was so burdensome on our members, the calculation, and you had to do it by the ounce and it was. It was a lot and I'll never forget the day. And God love John Thrasher who we just lost. Um was our speaker of the house at the time and what you know went on later to be President of Florida State University, wonderful friend of mine. He will forever be missed, but as Speaker, and then Jeb, as Governor, I'll never forget that final passage and it happened and I do remember that walk across the street back to my office very late at night because it didn't pass till we hours and everybody high fiving and, you know, jumping and I could people screaming from the balconies.
Speaker 2You know you did it, you did it and and it wasn't a me, it was a we, it was a team, but it certainly was a validation that if you work on something hard and long enough, you know I have another saying never give up, never give up. It was a incredibly long and arduous fight but I was determined to never give up and so I think that was one of the you know many I don't know if it necessarily fits in the leadership or say, but it. It took a lot of hours and a lot of conversations and, again, never burning that bridge when people would look me in the eye and tell me you know it ain't going to happen, go away, don't bring that issue to me again, I'm not going to vote on it. And it did happen Because tenacity and we never gave up and we fought it with integrity.
Speaker 1And I was going to say that and you went right there. I was going to take you back to your earlier points of integrity. You know, as we are in the season that we're in where it's easier for us to point out our differences in thinking and views and all the things right, I mean this is just this is just where we are in life, with a lot of the skills that it takes to get thinking across a majority of different viewpoints. Um, yeah, what would you say if you could just like you've got the airways of the world? What would you say are three things that you would love to just say. Think about this as you feel either polarizing or polarized. Think about this. What would those, what would those think about things be? What would, what would your?
Art of Compromise in Politics
Speaker 1letter to us all be about because I and I believe that this is an appropriate question to ask um someone in that skill set right, because you can't turn over a tax typically ever. And you certainly can't do it without complete support or majority support, and so stepping aside from all politics and all the things. What would you tell us? How do we start to get back to a civil discourse of listening and listening and adding to our own view?
Speaker 2Yeah Well, I can do it in a couple of ways. I'm going to do it in three words instead of three thoughts. Art of compromise that we have lost the art to compromise because we are so polarized. It's become my way or the highway I either get what I want or we get nothing. And I mean, if I told you we didn't sit down and do a lot of compromising on?
Speaker 2One of the biggest compromises on the repeal of the drink tax was, of course, I wanted it all in one felt swoop. You know? No, we did it in three years, three different sessions, we did a third and a third and then 9-11 hit and I had to pull it off the table. I didn't have to. I was asked and cautioned that it would be in my best interest to pull it down in year three and I was like, oh my gosh, and so we did. So guess what? Year four, everybody remembered that we compromised, we did what was needed at the time. So the art of compromise is a lost art. I genuinely feel that it is so many times, whether it was this session in Tallahassee, whether it's what's going on in DC federally, people need to learn to sit down and close the door and come up with what can I give you and you give me, and we all go out and hold hands and call it a victory, because we can't keep on like this. We're getting further and further apart and that's that's um terrifying, honestly it's terrifying.
Speaker 1And also, I think that if you have a genuine desire to follow, you know, a Christian value system, it's a path that separates us more than brings us together, and at the end of the day, we're meant to be together. And I love that Art of compromise, art of compromise. And I guess one thing that came out loud and clear, too, is patience. Yeah, patience. What I've heard in your story is, even when that year three was the year that okay now, environmentally, the world is certainly the United States had experienced the biggest disaster since, you know, a world war, there was a level of sensitivity that was required. And for you to say, you know what, that's more important than me pushing the agenda, that speaks to the patience that I also think is not present enough.
Speaker 2Yeah, I agree, and making that space, making that space. I agree, yep.
Speaker 1Wow, all right so. I was gonna ask you the system that you would leave behind. But honestly, art of the compromise, pretty much there. I have to say all right, for fun. What's your favorite thing to do?
Speaker 2for fun, tell us about that well, it's my horses, and that's not a secret. I, um my husband's dad, bought this farm in 1941. He was born and raised here. We've now had three generations, um, born and raised here.
Finding Balance on the Farm
Speaker 2I grew up as a child that always dreamed of riding but could never afford it. I lost my dad when I was very young. My mom fought hard to, you know, raise three kids and put us through school, and so I, I guess as a kid I used to just think about gosh, I wish I could ride like some of my friends. Well, that opportunity was provided for me by my father-in-law, and I now have a beautiful horse farm and I still ride and I still compete, and so it is my passion and it's also my quiet place. People laugh about I'll go muck a stall and drive a tractor and, yes, I'll put on a suit and go to the Capitol, but I love farm life. I? I was painting fences friday to get ready for a big clinic that I had this weekend. So you know it's um, but it's, you know it takes me back to just the simple reality. Living on a farm is just a very special place.
Speaker 1It keeps you centered.
Speaker 2I bet it does. I love it. Go to the barn, turn on my music, you know, and just be with the animals. It's really special.
Speaker 1Find a happy place. I think that's the thing that I'm looking for that is my happy place.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's one of my many happy places. I have several, but that's one of my many and I'm just incredibly blessed to have that in my life. Now, like, my granddaughter lives on the farm as well with her mom and dad, and she's quite the rider, and so there are days I find myself in the barn with her, and I think you know this, these days will be gone one day. I mean, she'll grow up and she'll hopefully be married and have kids, and but I'm grateful that I put her in pony club when she was five and we have spent a lot of time in the barn playing with horses, and now she's quite, quite the rider, and so I look at her in awe of her abilities and so it's. But it's special.
Speaker 1Not everybody gets to do that right something to manifest for me because, girl, you are batting a thousand whether it's taking over the organization. Uh to uh to raising someone who, who is truly embodying what you saw for yourself as a child. Carol you are a truly, truly special person.
Speaker 1You really are, I think that you're very grace, an integrity, a generosity, a hospitality around your very being. I've really come to appreciate you as a friend and just love you so much as a person, and I appreciate you sharing just your wisdom with the Proven Not Perfect community. We are a community of women who are driven for success, wearing many hats, and you know we are all inspired by being in conversation with others who are succeeding and driving. It encourages us and inspires us to keep going. So thank you.
Speaker 2Well, coming from you, chantra, means more to me than you'll know. I feel a very special bond with you. I admire you. I have the utmost respect for you. You carry the grace and integrity that people should crave to have, because the minute I met you I knew that you had a very special sweet soul. Sweet soul, great heart, wonderful Christian lady, and you're just beautiful inside and out. Thank you for the opportunity to share a little bit about life.
Speaker 1Oh, thank you.
Personal Revelation on Resilience
Speaker 2We'll see you soon. Love you, lady. Thank you for everything.
Speaker 1Thank you. Okay, just like I told you, there is a part two. Here we go, enjoy. So, just like any told you, there is a part two. Here we go, enjoy. So, just like any good podcast, it's always what happens in the conversation and for me with Proven Not Perfect, it's what happens when I click end and the conversation continues with my very special guests and friends. And this one hit me really straight to the heart because we touched on it in the conversation and the, the.
Speaker 1The revelation is so compelling and, I believe, so potentially healing, so potentially saving to other people.
Speaker 1And I think, think sometimes when we in particular here leaders that we're drawn to for one reason or another, it can't help but be externally driven initially, because that's who we are as people and we see whatever attributes we see and we respond to that and that usually becomes the doorway for us deciding that we want to know more about them.
Speaker 1But the basis of proven not perfect is it's always, there's always a story, there's always the pieces that you don't see, that you don't know. That I shared in my first book and when we said goodbye to you publicly and kept our conversation going and my dear friend Carol shared with me a little bit more about losing her father as a young girl and her principle for do not give up. Do not give up. I asked her for permission to open the podcast again and just provide a little bit of a snack, because I believe conversations have the ability to heal and to save and certainly to bless. And so with that, carol, I would love for you to just share a little bit of what you shared with me about why your coaching to others is so precise and specific the way that it is.
Speaker 2Well, thank you, chantra, for giving me this opportunity to share something very private and very personal, and very personal, as I told you, after we talked, until I was honored enough to receive the inductee to the Florida Tourism Hall of Fame and I knew I had to give an acceptance speech and I just was overwhelmed with as much as I publicly speak that one. I couldn't really figure out what I was going to say. I tossed and turned at night and I've held something inside of me my whole life. I didn't even tell my children until they were adults and I never talk about it. And so I decided, if I was ever going to talk about it, going to talk about it that night on stage was the time to do it, and that was that.
Speaker 2Yes, I lost my dad when I was very young, 12, soon to be 13. But my dad committed suicide and it's just something that was so publicly unacceptable, especially at that phase in my life when I was so young. It's much more talked about today than it was back then and it's what I believe gave me the tenacity I mean, even at that very young age. My mom was left with three kids. My mom was left with three kids I had to go to work and at 14, I started waiting tables and I worked at a hotel later in life were going to be what gave me the passion for this industry.
Speaker 2But my you know, my dad gave up. I mean, when you think about suicide, as much as it kills me to have this conversation, I know and remember my mom feeling like my dad gave up and left her with three kids to raise, and so I just remember being indelibly imprinted in my soul at that young age that I was never going to give up, no matter what cards life dealt me. Giving up is not an option. So that night I shared that and I was surprised. You know, I waited until a room of close to a thousand people to tell something.
Speaker 2I felt inside of me yeah, if you're going to go, go big. But the number of people that came up to me that night or sent me texts and cards and emails that you know this had had touched their life you know the suicide touches so many people. You told me about a friend of yours and you really realize talking about it is what gave some healing to me. My family was there. My children were there Obviously some healing for them, but also made me realize that that message of never give up resonated to so many people who later told me I will never give up. You gave me something that I've needed and I needed to hear it. So thank you for allowing me the opportunity to share something so personal. But it, I believe, is what made me today the person that I am, and so I appreciate you allowing me to share it.
Speaker 1Oh my gosh, carol. Honestly, I am privileged to open the line. I'm thankful for you allowing me to do so. I think that it is too easy to judge people from the exterior of what we see, and when we truly get vulnerable and we truly share that we're no different from one another. Um, it's different. So I thank you. That's right, and thank you I'll talk to you soon. I will really okay. All right, well, enjoy that. Thank you. Bye, sweetie, bye. Thank you, I'll talk to you soon, I will really like Okay, all right.
Speaker 2Well, enjoy that, thank you. Bye, sweetie Bye.