The Kindness Edge

Kindness is perhaps the most underrated leadership trait in business today. When was the last time you saw "kind leader" featured on someone's resume? Yet this powerful quality might be exactly what's missing from many leadership approaches.

This episode unpacks what true kindness in leadership actually means - having empathy, considering viewpoints in context, knowing when to hold back, and pivoting when situations require it. Far from being weakness, kindness represents a sophisticated leadership approach that balances human needs with organizational objectives. For women especially, demonstrating kindness often comes with unfair judgment, mistaken for weakness or a Pollyannish perspective.

Through a personal career example, I share how my kindness was once misinterpreted as lacking edge during an operating review. Instead of pushing a team beyond their capabilities or making unrealistic demands, I acknowledged reality, showed kindness to people and the situation, and developed alternative solutions to move forward. This approach required courage to stand before senior leadership and advocate for a measured, realistic approach.

The truth is, kind leadership doesn't mean being a pushover - as I like to say, "don't let the smooth taste fool you." Leaders who prioritize kindness aren't missing the strategic imperatives. They're approaching challenges with values intact, asking crucial questions: What's best here? What's needed? How can I show up effectively?

If you're battling misunderstandings because kindness is your operating mode, stand firm in your integrity. Your strength will prevail, situations will improve, and you'll advance your mission. Most importantly, when people look back years from now, they won't remember specific metrics or strategies—they'll remember how you made them feel. And that might be the most important leadership legacy of all. How will you demonstrate kindness in your leadership today?

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Transcript

Defining true kindness in leadership

Speaker 1 1:03

Hey, proven, not Perfect. I hope you're doing well. Look, I want to talk to you today, in this August conversation, around a word that I think many people misunderstand, and that word is kindness. Well, why? Why do I want to talk about kindness? Because I think that it's one of those words that's underappreciated in business. When you look at somebody's resume, how often do they feature kind leader Sounds silly, but this is perhaps a missing element that so many leaders have, and that is the requirement of kindness.

Speaker 1 1:54

So, first and foremost, when we think about kindness, let's kind of ground ourselves on the definition. Kindness is having empathy. Kindness is considering your viewpoint in the context of the situation and the other person's need and what the situation requires and asks for. Kindness is being willing to hold back when the situation requires you to do so. Kindness is pivoting when a situation doesn't allow you to bring your best self forward. That's kindness. It's kindness to me anyway.

Kindness vs weakness misconception

Career example of kindness misunderstood

Speaker 1 2:55

So if kindness is as important a leadership trait trait as any other, then why is it so many people seem to misunderstand kindness as a value that's prominent and important in leadership? Well, I would say, in particular for women, there's been a bit of a tax that's been associated with kindness. There's been a bit of a misconception that goes along with kindness. Kindness has been mistaken for weakness. Kindness has been mistaken for, perhaps, a Pollyannish viewpoint, an optimistic viewpoint of a situation that otherwise is calling for a bit more of a realistic view. For women in particular, stepping out and standing out on our opinion of kindness requires us to completely own who we are in a leadership environment and regardless of what is being said, being thought about our position around. Being a kind person, you do it anyway Because, to quote one of the great voices of influence, people don't remember what you say, but they remember how you made them feel. So, if we truly believe that, I think the leaders that lead with kindness really get it right.

Speaker 1 4:47

Now. Kindness doesn't mean pushover, so I often love to say the phrase don't let the smooth taste fool you, period, because just because I try daily don't always get it right. Remember the tagline proven, not perfect. Just because I try daily to lead with kindness does not mean that I have misunderstood. Or, more importantly, I'm not seeing the big picture of the game Doesn't mean that I'm not seeing the big picture of the game Doesn't mean that what it does mean is that I stand on my values all day long and in standing on my values of kindness, I choose to show up asking the situation what is best, what is needed? How can I show up to bring forth all the things that are required to bring what's best and what's needed as a leader in that position? So that's what I wanted to talk about kindness.

Speaker 1 5:53

I'll share an example from earlier on in my career. I can remember distinctly being in a situation where it was pretty clear that my kindness was mistaken for the lack of edge to advance the mission. And I can remember being very disheartened by a comment that I received in an operating review that referred to a Pollyannish viewpoint. A Pollyannish viewpoint, a Pollyannish position, because my kindness, because I chose not to lead a team with reckless abandon and expecting behaviors that I knew were and expecting advancements that I knew both of those things behavior and advancement that I knew were not capable within that team, based on skills and experiences, I chose to acknowledge what existed, to be kind to the people and to the situation and to bring about new ideas and solutions to help us to move the mission forward. That's kindness, through a display of my own courage and boldness, to show up to a conversation with advanced leadership and make it clear that I was not going to ask to push, to be overly aggressive when the situation, the people, the skills and experiences did not allow me to advance perhaps what we would have wanted to advance. I wasn't going to do that as a result. I was kind, I was kind to the people, I was kind in acknowledging the situation and we still got the mission solved and advanced, but with consideration. So today, but with consideration.

Standing firm in your values

Speaker 1 8:27

So today, if you are battling something where kindness is your mode of operation and you are being misunderstood because of it, stand 10 toes down, stand in your integrity, be who you are, show your strength, because if you do stand 10 toes down, because if you do stand 10 toes down, stand in your integrity, show the kindness that the situation and the people are asking for, your strength will prevail and the situation will improve and you will advance period. And, most importantly, when people look back at what you did years from now, they will recall how you made them feel. So that's what I have for you today in these August conversations keeping it light, keeping it bright, keeping it brief but hopefully keeping it impactful. I hope that you go out. You stand 10 toes down. You make someone else feel like the absolute winner that they're capable of being by being kind, and you also advance situations to be the best situations that they can be because you are kind, proven, not perfect. Thank you, see you soon. Bye.