Season 6 Episode 1: The Problem with Women and Money

Let’s talk about MONEY.  Yes, we said it.  How do you feel about money?  How do you want to feel about money? Master Certified Life Coach Melissa Wiggins is back with Season 6 of Coaching and a Cup of Tea with Mummabear, ready to tackle one of the biggest issues for women.  Grab a cuppa and listen in.  

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Melissa Wiggins:  Well hello, lassies and lads, welcome to Coaching and a Cup of Tea with Mummabear. We're on a new season, this is so exciting, season six, let's go. I'm kicking it off with kind of a controversial topic, women and money, okay? I feel like it's so taboo to talk about money, and having coached lots and lots of lassies one-on-one, specifically mumma bears who are also either entrepreneurs or want to be entrepreneurs or corporate leaders, I've really come across money being this sort of crux for women, this thing that is hard to talk about, and also, so many limiting beliefs around money.

            So when I was designing Empowered Life, my six-month mindset reset coaching program, one of the things I knew I had to really dig into was women and money, specifically money mindset. So we actually spend an entire month within the program sort of digging up our thoughts and opinions, our perception of women and money, our perception of our roles as working moms, and how that impacts us with money, and we really dig into it. And as you all know, because I'm sure if you're listening now by season six, you might have been around here for a while, I really try to dig into the research on different topics that I speak to, right? So I don't want to just give you information and say, "Hey, women have a hard time with money and women believe this," without really looking into what are some of the peer reviews, what are some of the studies saying? Yes, I have a sort of study myself with the women I coach, but what else?

            And so in this episode, I really just want to do a short overview on some of the things I hear with women and money that I coach and what some of the research has said, and then for the next couple of episodes, I'm actually going to interview a money mindset expert who actually comes on our group coaching calls and coaches the lassies on money and mindset. Now, as you know, I think mindset is everything, okay? I truly believe when we start to understand how to master these tiny things in our head called brains that our whole life can change. And I appreciate I might sound a little bit dramatic, but I really, really mean that, okay? So let's go.

Find the FULL Transcript here: Season 6 Episode 1: The Problem with Women and Money

Transcript

Melissa Wiggins:

Well hello, lassies and lads, welcome to Coaching and a Cup of Tea with Mummabear. We're on a new season, this is so exciting, season six, let's go. I'm kicking it off with kind of a controversial topic, women and money, okay? I feel like it's so taboo to talk about money, and having coached lots and lots of lassies one-on-one, specifically mumma bears who are also either entrepreneurs or want to be entrepreneurs or corporate leaders, I've really come across money being this sort of crux for women, this thing that is hard to talk about, and also, so many limiting beliefs around money.

            So when I was designing Empowered Life, my six-month mindset reset coaching program, one of the things I knew I had to really dig into was women and money, specifically money mindset. So we actually spend an entire month within the program sort of digging up our thoughts and opinions, our perception of women and money, our perception of our roles as working moms, and how that impacts us with money, and we really dig into it. And as you all know, because I'm sure if you're listening now by season six, you might have been around here for a while, I really try to dig into the research on different topics that I speak to, right? So I don't want to just give you information and say, "Hey, women have a hard time with money and women believe this," without really looking into what are some of the peer reviews, what are some of the studies saying? Yes, I have a sort of study myself with the women I coach, but what else?

            And so in this episode, I really just want to do a short overview on some of the things I hear with women and money that I coach and what some of the research has said, and then for the next couple of episodes, I'm actually going to interview a money mindset expert who actually comes on our group coaching calls and coaches the lassies on money and mindset. Now, as you know, I think mindset is everything, okay? I truly believe when we start to understand how to master these tiny things in our head called brains that our whole life can change. And I appreciate I might sound a little bit dramatic, but I really, really mean that, okay? So let's go.

            One of the first things I did when I personally was having a hard time with money and sort of how that was impacting my life, I really looked into how do I want to show up about money, okay? Instead of what am I doing right now, which is important, but I can look at how I'm doing, but where do I want to go? And so that's something to ask yourself right now. If you're sitting with a piece of paper and a pen, you know I love writing things down, you know I'm an advocate for that, we learn so much more when we write it down, you know I love the power of the Post-it. So what I did was I actually would write on Post-its, and if you're listening and you're like, "What's her obsession with Post-its?" Go back to an early episode, I will link it in the show notes, it's called The Power of the Post-it.

            But I started writing on Post-its how I wanted to show up as a woman with money. What did I want that to look like? And I wanted to be a saver, I wanted to not be a spontaneous shopper, right? I didn't want to just pick up my phone and be like, "I need this on Amazon, and I need this, and I need this, and I need this," and so I started writing on a little Post-it, "I add to my Amazon cart, and I only purchase on a Friday." And I did that because when you are spontaneous and you make those decisions, you can just buy so many things and use your money not how you want to, and I wanted to get really intentional with how I was using my money.

            So I would write on my Post-it that little thing about Amazon, and I would put it everywhere. I had it in my car, I had it on my mirror, I had it in different places because I wanted to visually see it, I wanted it to be ingrained in my subconscious, and it worked, it truly worked. It took about a year, but it allowed me on a Friday to review what was in there and see what I actually needed, and not just buy things for the sake of buying them. So that's one thing that I started doing, I started asking, who did I want to be? I wanted to be someone who also put money aside to do adventures with my children. I wanted to take my twins to New York for their birthday, and I did that. I saved the money and we had this outrageous trip, okay?

            We did things that I wouldn't ordinarily do when I go to New York, like we went to shows, we shopped for Jordans, which is like their favorite thing in the world. We went on a helicopter ride. We rode on those little cars that they take you around, the little bicycle things that are like... I think they're like $25 a minute, it was insane, but it was the most fun, without a doubt, one of the best trips of my entire life, and that's how I wanted to be about money, I wanted to be able to save for experiences with my children.

            So when I started thinking about "How do I want to show up?" I got really specific about different things so I could have actual goals to work towards. So when you're thinking right now, "Oh, I'm not a saver" or "I totally buy spontaneously on Amazon," don't sweat it. Just start looking at some of those things and deciding, "What kind of person do I want to be about money? Do I want to stay in scarcity mindset? Do I want to be scared to spend money and be the richest person in the graveyard? What do I want?" And then start putting it on Post-its everywhere you're going so that you can put that message into your subconscious brain so that it becomes who you are.

            Remember, 95%, lassies, of what we do is from our subconscious brain, which takes me to my next point, which is in my program, we really look into what relationship do you have with money based on your childhood? Now, I don't spend a lot of time in childhood things because I believe that's more of a therapist's role, but I do think it is a good information fact-finding task to look into some of the things like, "What did I hear about money growing up? Did my parents fight about money? Did my parents struggle with money? Did I hear things like 'Money doesn't grow on trees,' or did I live a totally extravagant life, but I wasn't told anything about the value of money?" I've had clients who have trust funds, and they just... They were taught what they were supposed to do with money as a young adult, and that's hard.

            The opposite is also hard, when you grow up in a home where money was the center of every single fight your parents had, that's also very hard. But what that can do is that stuff gets ingrained in here, our neurons that wire together and fire together, right? So we keep hearing the message, and over and over and over, guess what? It's what we believe, because our most practiced thoughts become our belief, and that happens when we hear things over and over, and that's why I say I really try to spend most of my energy thinking about who do I want to be around money? What do I want that to look like in my future? But let me look at some of the past to see where my limiting beliefs about money are coming from, right? Does that make sense?

            So ask yourself questions about that as an educational fact-finding thing, event, not as a way to like, "My parents did this wrong," or "I'm like this because of my parents," because in Empowered Life... You see my sign back here? In Empowered Life, our whole six months is about taking responsibility for our own lives, okay? Our childhood is done, right? Yes, let's look there for the facts to see what's making us think this thing and feel a limiting belief and a limiting thought, but let's not spend all of our energy there because it's not helpful, right? Does that make sense?

            Of course, if you're working with a therapist and you're digging into some of that from a therapist standpoint, that's different, but as a master life coach, a master life coach in a program like that is about creating the future that you want, right? Looking forward. And looking at money is going to help you so much live the life that you want. It has been such a game-changer for me and for my clients, and I also feel like it's a layer thing. You sort of get better the longer you do it, and so don't give yourself a hard time if you're like, "Oh, I'm writing the Post-it and I'm totally believing that I'm not scarcity mindsetted and that I'm a growth mindsetted person, and yet I'm not seeing any change." Just remember, your most practiced thoughts become your beliefs, so the more you practice that, the more you believe that's who you are, the more likely you are to feel like that is the person you are, okay?

            So let's talk a little bit about the research. So what the research is saying about women and money, and entrepreneurs and money, is a little bit terrifying to me, but here is one statistic that blew my mind. Only 2% of women entrepreneurs hit seven figures. What the actual frick? 2%. Now, I know a lot of women that make seven figures, but that is because I am in an industry of motivational speakers, authors, coaches, and they're doing the thing, right? And what I want is women entrepreneurs, women corporate leaders, specifically these mumma bears who are working their absolute arses off, to see that they can hit this if they start shifting and resetting their mindset, okay? Are there other factors in place? 100%, especially specifically for mumma bears.

            One of the studies said that 90% of women felt solely responsible for managing the home, even though they were working, and that was by Arizona State University and Oklahoma State University. Another study, when both parties full-time working, so the husband and the wife, or the wife and the wife, the husband, the husband, or two unmarried people, but a couple, when both of them worked full-time, the woman was five times more likely to spend 20 hours doing household chores. 20 hours more. Five times more likely. So when we look at 2% of women only hitting seven figures as female entrepreneurs, it is this world that I'm immersed in, which is working with female entrepreneurs, where they're trying to be good moms and they're trying to be good partners or spouses, and also run a successful business, and it's very difficult until it's not, okay?

            So one of the things in the program we work on is creating boundaries, asking for help. What does the household chores look like? We do time audits, we're looking at the whole picture, but it starts with shifting our mindset around money and household chores, money and being a woman in business, money and being a mom, how do those things work?

            58% of women let their male partners make all of the important financial decisions, and that is because we believe, we have been sort of ingrained to believe that we're not good with money. There are actual studies where women have said, the majority of women have said they don't feel like they're good with money, and that they spend money excessively, and that men are good with financial things. So when you think that thought over and over, guess what? 2% of women hit seven figures. That makes sense, right?

            So Empowered Life is six months coaching. We meet every single week. Every week. You do one-on-one with me and a group coaching, and a program, because this stuff's been ingrained in us for so long that it doesn't change overnight, it takes time, it takes layers, it takes figuring out why you have the limiting beliefs, and then choosing, "What do I want to believe instead?"

            All right, lassies, I hope that you loved this episode. I hope that I got you a little bit fired up. If you lassies are in a situation where you are trying to figure out what kind of mindset do you want to have around money, if you've struggled with it, if it is something that you are trying to figure out, consider applying to Empowered Life, we spend a whole month here. And I will be back and I will be bringing a money mindset expert, that is all that she does, that's the only thing she coaches on, and she's the bomb, you're going to love her, so come back next week, and more money.