What is Personal is Universal

14. Self empowerment. Where do your answers and light reside?

August 16, 2021 Amanda Joy Loveland & Jessica Lee Devenish
What is Personal is Universal
14. Self empowerment. Where do your answers and light reside?
Show Notes Transcript

Amanda and Jessica both find commonality in their personal desire to seek truth, and are committed to self empowerment in their worlds.  Empowering from a soul spirit level. We are the creator of our destiny and master of our fate when we find ourselves coming back to our own wholeness within self.  That is where the answers and our light reside.

Jessica shares the idea that we will undoubtedly get knocked down, and experience hardships. And that is where we find the gifts in our journey;  when we are open and curious to the belief that there could be something there for us to help us grow.

Amanda shares that true self empowerment comes from being willing to look at yourself intimately.  The relationships of her life are where she has learned the most about her own self.  Our experiences are really about our own inner state, what we are holding and what is asking to be looked at.

They both express the power of gratitude and how it can shift us. Diving into helicopter parenting, being the eye of the storm, family patterning, power of our energetic hearts, dis-ease in the body,  unwinding things that are no longer serving us, every day boulders that happen in our life. Trusting the world is in service to you!

References:
Michael Singer; The Surrender Experiment Book.
Living from a place of surrender course.


Where can you connect with us:
Instagram:

@amanda.joy.loveland
@jessica.lee.devenish

Facebook:
Amanda Joy Loveland
Jessica Carnesecca Devenish
Group: What is personal is universal

Website:
www.amandajoyloveland.com
www.devenishduo.com 

Unknown:

Hi there,

Amanda Loveland:

we know that what is personal is universal. I am Amanda Loveland.

Jessica Carnesecca:

And I am Jessica devenish. Welcome to the conversation. Well, hello, hi. Hi welcoming our friends to our little conversation.

Amanda Loveland:

Are we just we're recording back to back podcast today. And as always, we don't do this very often. But it's always a little like, Okay, now we're off of that topic.

Jessica Carnesecca:

Clear. What's next? What's next? Yeah, I think what is popping for us is just the whole idea of being a seeker, a seeker of Truth, and a seeker of like self improvement and self empowerment. And just that word, improving. I guess for me, while on this kind of,

Amanda Loveland:

I had, I can't remember if it was last week, or when I had said it was the idea around instant gratification, because there's so many levels here. And the reason why personally I was thinking about it is when I first left Mormonism, and I was really, really diving into the world of energetic spirituality, I am really self help like, okay, now I'm gonna embody it, I really had this idea that I would come to a plateau at the top of a mountain peak, if you want to call it mountains. And I would live in bliss. And then the rest of my life would be that way. Because at the time in my consciousness, my reality, that's kind of what I felt like was elusive, and out there that now choosing out of this, this religion, this, this part of my life that I had been for so long. Now I would, I would find the magic sauce. And I would live in bliss for the rest of my life. And then I remember, I was living up in suncrest, at the time, and I had this beautiful deck because it overlooked the valley. And he was sitting out there with a friend of mine, and I had this incident, I went, I was so mad, I'm like, there's never just a freaking plateau is there. And I'm like, it's always another mountain peak to climb. And it was like one of those painful realities of like, shit, okay, we're wired to always grow and learn, first of all, so you have course, there's never a mountain peak that you just sit there and you're forever there. However, I have learned that we can get into a place to where Yes, we're always learning and growing. But it doesn't have to be as painful because we, especially when we're first diving in, it's like, things are painful. The first time I had to really look at some of my shadow aspects, it scared the hell out of me. And obviously, it's something I chose into I didn't have Well, I say half do because it was glaring me in the face. And you know, you sometimes get to a point to where Yeah, you were either gonna sink or swim, and I was in a sink through that. So I could swim on the other side. And to where it becomes less and less, it moves, you move through it quicker, it's not as painful. And there's that saying that? What is it? I can't now I can't remember, I guess this is suffering thing that gets and pain. It'll be painful. But you don't have to suffer. Like, it's, you're going to experience pain, but you don't have to suffer through it.

Jessica Carnesecca:

Right? You know, when you do hear a lot of people say, well, it's just one more thing after another, it's always something in my life. And it's it goes back to that what I believe is where your focus goes, grows, like if you're that person that always says, Oh, I'm so unlucky, and nothing ever good happens to me, or it's just one thing after another, then I believe you're just going to get more on the same of that.

Amanda Loveland:

100%. And what's unfortunate is sometimes that comes from a family pattern. And a family line that until you really stopped to ask the question to think, why am I doing this? And where's this coming from? It's just part of your DNA. And there are things that you can do to unlock that and unwind that. But sometimes it is just a family a systematic thing that comes through the DNA, that they're just Oh, my dad was the same way. You know, and it's just, it's it's a painful way of life. And there is a much better, a much more pleasant way of living. And a lot of it just comes from thought. Just that first thought of, Hey, I wonder if there's something else here.

Jessica Carnesecca:

Yeah. Well, and when those hard things come up, I would like to consider myself I think your phrase, the eye of the storm. I think that's one of my skill sets. It's one of my gifts is when things get really insane. Like the chaos happens. I am the eye of the storm or something happens in me and I just like get grounded. And I just become a problem solver. And I just look at Okay, this is how many Yeah, and what what now? Yeah. And I've been that with my business. I would like to say I'm like that with my kids. But looking back, I mean, I'm inherently a different mom now than I was before. Right? I was always like the fixer. So like you'd said people are suffering. Oh, let's do this, this, this, this and this, and I shifted probably later on probably too late for someone My kids, but it's like, what do you think you should do instead of just jumping in and saying, This is what you should do? This is how you should fix that. Yeah, say what do you how do you think you should fix that? And I think going back to the eye of the storm and allowing my reflective questions, reflect on all that has come from my desire to be the seeker of self improvement and self empowerment, and I'm bettering myself. And I mean, I know a few years ago, I personally went through this really, really traumatic experience and some of my closest friends. They were worried about me, they almost felt like I wasn't dealing. They were like, are you okay? Because you really seem like, too good to be true based on what you've just gone through. Yeah. And I think I've just done the work. Like, I, I've literally, I read the books, but I also do the work. Yeah. Like I do the work. I live what I preach, you know, like, I'm always sitting in silence and asking myself questions. And just like today, for example, I'm going to lunch with a friend. And I saw this vision of another friend having lunch with us, too. And so I followed my intuition. I called him and I said, Hey, can you join us for lunch today? And he goes, that would be awesome. But again, it's just listening to your voice, that intuition, that gut feeling and just doing the work. So they were like, how are you? Okay, how are you really fine. I feel like you're just hiding it. You're masking it. Yeah. And I'm like, I really am great. Yeah. Because I've done the work I've gone in, I've asked myself the hard questions. I, I just pee, I do the Shadow Work, I find peace in those really hard, shitty times. Like, gosh, why? You know, why did this happen to me, but it's okay to say why did this happen to me from a place of curiosity? Yeah.

Amanda Loveland:

So I'm not asking something outside of yourself.

Jessica Carnesecca:

You guys happen to be poor? pity me. I'm so like, life is so hard and terrible. And I really went in and said, Why God, why did this happen to me? And what am I here to learn from this? And what how is this? How is this going to forward? And why did this show up? Instead of how did I bring this upon myself? It wasn't it never was in place. Anytime I've even when I went through that with my daughter, Courtney, it was never from a place of like, Why me? Yeah, it was like you are here. I you chose me as your mom, I chose you as my daughter. Because there's something here that we are here to learn, you know, even going through Korea's death and adopting my niece and nephew like, Yeah, lots of times, you could say, I mean, you could say, oh, life is just happening to me and beating the crap out of me all the time. But I've just never been like that, have you?

Amanda Loveland:

Um, no, I haven't. I've actually never thought about that. But no, I don't feel like I have. I am. A few things were coming up. For me as you were talking, I think one of the things that's really fascinating, especially any of us that have had a religious background, that we are so used to and conditioned to being told to as to how to fix our problems, or you're having this issue, this is what you do, instead of like what you were saying, Jessica, with reflective listening and reflective questions with our children. And that's something that I've gotten better to with, well, what feels true to you, and what what are you feeling and kind of helping guide them? You know, because as a parent, we can, you know, my son with his girlfriend, for example, you know, he had some things come up. And I wanted to be very careful that this was his choice of how he was going to handle some things. But as an adult woman, who also knows, well, this is probably not the healthiest. You know, we really, aren't we better parents when we when we're able to do that and assist our children? And how do you listen to your intuition? How do you follow your heart? How do you listen to your gut, versus being programmed and being a part of a society that is just so full of well, this is what you do. And we have a lot of thought, regardless of being religious. There's also a lot of thought leaders. Well, this is how you overcome these, these these pieces, or you go to therapy, you keep going to therapy week after week, and talk therapy and you're talking through things and your therapist tells you these things to do and, and I had actually, just recently a pretty big awareness around how at a very young age, and because of just some family dynamics, I had a father who is very patriarchal, patriarchal, where he, my dad was amazing, brilliant man, and was very wise and very inspired. And he was so protective over his family that what dad said went, and we all listened. And at a very young age, even though I had a very strong guidance system, I turned it off because the men in my life, their voices were louder, and that's what you did. And you know, that's an aspect that still followed me up until I'm 41 years old. And it's an I'm sure that those listening have some aspect where this rings true to you of how many times Are we actually turning into our own voice and taken, and getting our own guidance and our own inspiration for the things that we should do and picking up the books and doing the things like you're doing? And I'm also doing, because we feel inspired to do it and then taking inspired action, not because I need somebody to tell me, okay, if I do this, then this will happen, you know, which is kind of where I was before. Oh, I'm, you know, now I'm going to have the magic, the magic potion, I'm going to read this book, The Power of Now. And now I'm going to have all these things. And it's going to be that instant gratification. Yeah. Instead of I look back at my journey, and the, you know, I can look at different instances, I was sexually abused when I was a child. And I have I, the first time that memory came back was when I was 19 years old. And I cannot tell you how many times through different Healing Sessions or different personal work that that's come up for me, and a different level to look at. And not because it's re wounding the trauma. But there's another piece to be learned and gained from from that.

Jessica Carnesecca:

Exactly. Like I was sexually abused. As a child. I was eight years old. And Amanda, I didn't even that I didn't have a memory of that until I was in my mid 40s. Yeah, most people won't. And there was no, like, why did this happen to me? I mean, I'm not everyone's has their own experience, but it really was like, Okay, why didn't I see this before? How did it get, you know, buried and blah, blah, blah. And I just went on this journey of like, seeking information on how that could aid me. Moving forward. Yeah. Like, I've never been, you know, a lot of people, I'm working with a girl right now. And she's like, gosh, you're always just so positive. And it's not. I'm not like putting masks over it and layering it and not pretending like hardships not happening. But I'm not avoiding the hardship. And I'm not looking for blame, right? Or I'm just like, gosh, that hurts. And I need to like, ask, why is this happening? Why did this happen? And just leaning into it, and just being from a place of curiosity, and how it can be how it can better me how I can like, take it and make something beautiful out of it.

Amanda Loveland:

While I'm in to kind of what I was a little bit of what I was saying before, just to finish that thought because I want it as I really listen to this podcast, I know, I'll be like, Oh, I should have finished that thought. So I want to do a real quick. But this is the thing that I feel like looking back at my life, and I'm sure you'd say the same thing, though the layers and levels of quote unquote healing are finding the gifts in an event that was traumatic that had happened doesn't just happen one time, you know, take the body, for example, we both were just talking about this is something for me since I was a kid, I've had so many body complexes that it's a piece that I've always worked some layer of. And I feel like I'm finally starting to master the body because there's some things that I'm doing. And they've never felt this level of mastery before. And it's the same thing like what we're talking about the sexual abuse, it comes up in layers, and and I remember I'd get frustrated at it. Like what the hell I've done all the work around this, why is this coming up again. But then there was a different there was something else that was asking to be seen, and timeline therapy, you go through and you actually will guide a client back into the trauma. And but the whole purpose is to find the gifts because only through that experience, would you have grown and cultivated what you now have and and finding what the gifts were in that experience. And this is why when people are looking at you, Jessica and my experience, and going How come it's so light, because you're not a victim to it. You're you're you're deeply looking to go What is this, that this is teaching me and that's the contrast. This is why somebody will suffer through life is because they're a victim to these experiences. And now this defines who they are and how they're operating in the world. Because yes, you were a victim of sexual abuse. So as I but I don't carry the victim card with me of Oh my god, I can't believe that happened to me. Yeah, you know, it's Yeah, this happened. And this is what I learned. This is what I've been growing

Jessica Carnesecca:

wasn't even in business to you know, the lots of failures, right? Those are the times that I learned the most like, and I think if you lined up 10 people and you ask them like, what are your aha moments? 10 people, maybe nine out of 10 people are gonna say those aha moments came from they got their ass kicked deep failure. Yep, failure deep, dark, hard, hard things that happened to him.

Amanda Loveland:

Or anybody. Yeah. What were has been your deepest learning and your

Jessica Carnesecca:

you will have the knowing that you have now whatever that is,

Amanda Loveland:

right. Yeah, we do we live in, there are some things that are just natural law. And one of the natural laws in this planet is contrast light and dark. So the darker we go, the deeper we go into some of the shadow aspects, guess what, you're going to go that much further in the light. It's just part of natural law.

Jessica Carnesecca:

Well, and I'm glad you share that because I think I'm a better parent now. Because it's okay. Like if my kids fail, yeah, it's okay. Like they're gonna learn something. And if I try to fix it for them, I'm taking away an opportunity for them to really find their own light. Yeah, it's coming in and swooping in, you know, that helicopter parent complex, right? I mean, I look back, and I think I did that for sure there were times I mean, when Courtney was going through our time, I didn't think she was going to graduate. And my, my niece, they're the same age. And I had this like, overwhelming feeling of if, if she doesn't graduate, when we go to the graduation, and our cousin is graduating the same time, she doesn't graduate. Like, I felt really anxious about that. Like, it's not right, if you don't graduate, and the therapist at the time was like, What if she doesn't graduate? Yeah, if she doesn't graduate, then that's on her. That's an experience that she's choosing to learn. Well, yeah, but as a parent, that makes me a failure. And I, it's my job, it's my responsibility. It's teaching them how to go out, you know, not whole, like, all the thing, all the things that you do, like the accountability piece, and how to be responsible citizen in the world around you. And I mean, those were some like, it was okay for her to fail. I wanted to give her the tools that she could, and she did graduate, and she ended up fine, but man, I really, I beat myself up through that whole experience. Yeah, looking back, you know, like really just trying to fix it and make it better for her. And I, I don't know if it was right or wrong. I mean, I really kind of butted heads with that therapist, because she was like, let her let her fail. It's okay, she doesn't graduate. And I'm like, no, it's my responsibility as a mother to teach them how to do that. And, you know, I just, I was kind of a helicopter parent, but I was also coming from a place of fear because of all of her suicide attempt and all that. But

Amanda Loveland:

looking wanting to have a better life. I mean, that's a natural thing as a parent wanting to do what we can for our children. So that because you know, as a business person, businesswoman, somebody that doesn't have their high school diploma, that is a problem with trying to find a job,

Jessica Carnesecca:

for sure, you know, and, you know, if she wouldn't have graduated I, then she goes, try to find a job, guess what, she's going to have to have a diploma. So she went back and got her GED, but it would have worked out. But anyway, I just remember being very like, while I took that on a lot, because I was so you know, and my parents never looking back through my childhood. It's interesting, because, and even being a business partner with my dad, like he was, he was such a great mentor. But he always he, he always taught me through his actions. What would you like to do with this situation? Like, even if I went to him and said, Dad, all the stuffs happening, and I don't know what to do, he would never ever just give me the answer. Like he was brilliant man of his own time, you know, all this reflective listening skills that looking back now, I'm like, I had such a great mentor there. You know, they never like, even in high school. I don't know about your parents, but they never even knew. I mean, we didn't have all this. Parents. Now we get a we get a text of our tardy. Yeah. All the time, all the time, you know, so my parents didn't even know what my grades were until my report card came out. Yeah. And it was on me. They didn't helicopter me. They didn't. Yeah, they didn't baby me. I just knew that. Yeah, that's what I needed to do. So interesting. Side note, rent there for a minute. But it's interesting how that whole suffering piece and As parents, we don't want our kids to suffer, we swoop in and try to help them when really, what a gift we're giving them by letting them just fall Yeah, and fail and figure it out.

Amanda Loveland:

Well, and this keeps coming up. So I'm going to bring it up back to a little bit of what you were saying, as far as that peace with pleading with God, why did this happen to me? You know, and there's, there's a subtle difference between what is this ad that I'm asking to learn versus Why did you do this? You know, and I, and I think because I'm doing this religion podcast, it's it's been an fascinating experience for me, because my relationship to God has changed exponentially, before I actually did the podcast. But now, there's a new awareness and a new relationship that I'm starting to have with Jesus. Now if you're not religious, forgive me for bringing this in. But, or spiritual, because I'm not religious. But anyway, so a friend of mine, actually, Angie sent me over these I'm sharing some stuff I was reading with her. She says, you know, you ought to listen to these, these. It's a book that's being read on YouTube. And it's supposedly letters from Jesus, which instantly my Have you seen these? She

Jessica Carnesecca:

shared them with? Me too, but I haven't. It's,

Amanda Loveland:

I naturally, I'll get my defense up just a little bit, and I'll go, Okay, we'll see. And I noticed I did that a little bit with this, just because there's so many different books, there's so many different things. And I'm really asking to have a personal understanding of what really happened with time, Mary, Magdalene, all of that. And I've read some beautiful, beautiful books where I do think there's truth in all things. So as I'm listening to this, it instantly gets me because one of the things that this reader is saying that Jesus is communicating is that God didn't do any of these things that you think is happening on the planet or to you personally. It is your own belief around what you think it's essentially what we're talking about, like attracts like, you have some sort of belief that something thing that was gonna happen to you or you're so afraid of it, you will create it. It's just it's like, again the laws of nature, the same things of the calamities on the planet, it has to do with the energetic vibration of what the people are holding and what they're doing. And it was such an interesting, I believe that and here now is this book where he's saying, This isn't god that is doing this to you. It is an experience that you're choosing to have, because of whatever the beliefs that you're holding. Now, here's the kicker. And he says in this book, which I thought was really interesting, that the unconscious mind is where our past life trauma will come. And sometimes that will filter what we're now creating, pulling into our current current situation, which again, in my experience, a lot of times somebody and somebody will have a past trauma of watching, being a Native American, and watching their India, their village being like, people being raped and tortured and killed, because that happened, right. And they'll have a past life remembrance of this. And the, because that had happened. And they were blissfully happy than in this lifetime. There's so there's a holding that if they're happy, their world will unravel. And so it is interesting, in my experience, I've seen this time and time again, with clients have these holdings that they're carrying within their psyche that they're not 100% aware of, and then we go clear, and everything's fine. And then here's this book that you know, essentially is talking to it. But I think this is where the idea of sovereignty and coming to the heart and coming to your your sovereign self, you just you Jessica, just me, Amanda, outside of anyone else, is probably the most important thing we can do in our lives. Because Yeah, that is the only thing we can control. And that I truly believe is why we're here.

Jessica Carnesecca:

Yeah, well, I think that's why I'm such a seeker of all that self empowerment, because even though I've gone You know, I even did NLP last week with Michelle and fascinating like, in ways I guess that's seeking outside of me, but really, that is holding space for me to find the answers within. See, and this is that fine nuance because I go back and forth. But a lot of times we cannot see the forest for the trees in our own psyche. So

Amanda Loveland:

this is where we do look for people to assist us.

Jessica Carnesecca:

Yeah, but she's not giving me answers. She's holding space, guys. She's asking me questions. She's guiding me. Yes. So I'll share the story real quick. So I did this NLP on Monday. And she told me she's like, you're gonna you're gonna feel a little different for a few days. Well, the rest of the day, Amanda, it was my only in office work day. Okay, I had so much to do. My network totally went down. Your computer? Yeah, my network. My IT guy still like I've never seen anything like it. I cannot tell me energetically something happened. Yeah. Right. So we're cutting cords in this session. Whenever I come down, I get to my office, I go. Remember, it's my day. It's my office, they have so much to do, right. And my networks not working. My cell phone's not working. Like everything electronically. I'm just like, nothing. Nothing was computing, literally. And so I texted Michelle afterwards. And I'm like, okay, random, crazy. Like this is happening. She's like, okay, so again, she didn't she didn't give me the answers, right. She's like, hey, so go outside, ground yourself and ask, ask what it's showing you. And I went outside. And literally, the answer I got was disconnect, reboot, redirect. It was so clear. Oh, I love it. So energetically, that's what was happening in my physical world with just my computer. But it was pushing me to, is it I could have thrown a fit and say, why is this happening to me? And I'm so much to do, but I was laughing because I'm like, why is this happening? Like, this is comical, like, there's something here for me to look at. And so I did. And, you know, for my own for my own personal business, I have some shifts and changes. And it was exactly the message that I needed to hear. That's beautiful. But I could have gotten in a place of, you know, being all flustered and frustrated. But it was like, literally, out of curiosity, why God is happening to me, and going outside grounding myself and asking the questions. And the rest of the message that I got was exactly what I needed to hear. Yeah, but

Amanda Loveland:

I leaned into it. And as somebody has guided you to, and that's exactly what good healers Yes,

Jessica Carnesecca:

exactly. So she didn't give me the answers. It led me back to with within. Yeah, this is the secret of truth. Creative joy is kind of what I like to call myself I love is because I, I the answers are within. Mm hmm.

Amanda Loveland:

They're all they're all within

Jessica Carnesecca:

all these energy classes and chocolate classes, you know, just activated. Remember eating and it's giving me tools,

Amanda Loveland:

right? That's what I feel like my purpose on this life is is assisting people and remembering I always use that word remembering all that you are, because we come in with we actually all have the information we have just forgotten it through a lot of different reasons. You know, another book that I was reading in the holographic universe, I think is a holographic universe. It's the scientist who is talking about the fact that we are electrical beings. This is why we can do ek g On the heart, and what are the eg G's or whatever on the brain scans, it's because of electrical currents and electrical pulses that our body is emitting. And so she created this device to read our auras. And she could find that the same frequency, she used this whole, zero to whatever this whole number thing. Um, every color had a different scale or different number on the scale that she created. And people who could read auras that would come in had a different scale that they actually held within their system, as far as how and why they could see the colors of the auras. And when they would say and see the same color, they would all it would all match the same number of the frequency that was being registered on this device. So you know, this is where it's beautiful, that there are aspects to where science has come in and going, Okay, I get that you can't see this with the human eyes. But here's scientific proof that a we are electrical, oh, yeah, individuals. And yes, sometimes Actually, we get to disconnect all of our electrical things that we're putting out into the world. Like it with what you experienced, and reboot, and a lot of times isn't it is in nature, and disconnecting from the world and

Jessica Carnesecca:

getting out of my head and going to my heart, right? I mean, I think there's speaking of science or scientific proof that your heart has way more energetic fields than your brain.

Amanda Loveland:

Oh, yeah. And they actually can measure that. And when you go into a place of love versus fear, fear radiates just right outside your body, love will go exponentially outside of the room, for sure. They actually there science now that showing that scientists the heart math Institute, and that has done studies that shows that your intuition actually lives in the heart, we fill it in our gut. So we think that our into error, intuitive mind lives in the gut. That's why people say gut feelings, but it actually comes from the heart. Yeah. So I mean, we can talk about the heart for quite a while I know. Well,

Jessica Carnesecca:

speaking of heart, it makes me think about gratitude. Really, I mean, the whole power of gratitude. And you know, I learned this originally when Angie smart was my coach. And just, I mean, I always felt like I journaled about being grateful, but you know, coaching with her and really diving into the power of gratitude and being, you know, asking yourself the question, you're like, Can I art can I be happy with what I already have? And finding gratitude in the everyday little things because of course, we're all wanting more and more and more and physical, emotional, yeah, material, whatever it is. But I've just learned from my experience, I think part of the reason why I am the eye of the storm is because I live inherently in such a place of gratitude. Like I practice it, I practice it in my journaling, I practice it in my 62nd blessings with Kelly that we do every once in a while. And

Amanda Loveland:

don't you feel like it brings you into the know, like into the present moment. So you're not worried about the future, you're not in the past, it's in the present. I think that's part of the magnitude is

Jessica Carnesecca:

like a reset. Right? It really brings you back to that balance piece, that alignment, that center of self. That Yeah, I want more and more. But in order to get more, I've learned that, can I already be happy with what I art? Can I be happy? What I already have? Yeah. Yeah, cuz if you can't be grateful for what you already have, then who's to say you even should

Amanda Loveland:

ask for more. And my, I hope my husband doesn't mind me sharing this story. My husband, he's had quite a fascinating life and a lot of ways and has been a godsend to me when we met because I went from all these relationships to now getting to experience a man who loves very deeply and who it was just more of a balanced relationship. And not that long ago, he's retired military, he had he was discharged from the army Special Forces in the army because of he was diagnosed with Lyme disease. And here's someone who has prided himself on his physical body and get Lyme disease and some days has a hard time walking and, and just different things that he gets to battle that feels like a battle for him. And then other things were just showing up in his life where he just felt like he was, I mean, he was really low. It was really challenging for a while. And you know, as again, here's the same thing, even with your partner, that there's the part of me that's like, especially since I'm a shaman, like, Alright, let's go you want to do a session or you know, and I had to really take a step back and stop doing that and just, you know, hold space for him and be in that place and, and I was sharing different things with him here and there like a meditation or whatnot and he would have his practices. And he would if he was sitting here with you today, he would tell you what ended up shifting for him was at night before he'd go to bed. He put his hand on his heart and he would sit there and go through everything he was grateful for. And holy cow night and date like I get emotional thing about this. Because on the one hand I I don't know when we have I am such a strong female. This is gonna sell I can't believe I'm Saying this out loud, but here we go. That sometimes it's like, oh my gosh, he came up with that on his own. Like I'm so I love that he did that. And it's not to minimize him. I'm just an asshole sometimes. But anyway, I it was just so beautiful and that he had such a profound experience with that with just that simple exercise of at night puddings has heart, just, you know, what am I grateful for? And then it shifted his thoughts from everything that was going wrong in his life to everything that was going right. Yeah. And that made all the differences and all the difference in the world.

Jessica Carnesecca:

When I encourage people even if like you're going through a situation where it's like you feel so attacked from the outside to like really taking accountability for the role you play. Like that is self empowerment in and of itself, instead of like, pointing fingers and saying, well, they

Amanda Loveland:

will, the minute you start pointing fingers is actually when you need to turn it back to yourself.

Jessica Carnesecca:

That's your people are gonna hurt you, they're gonna break your heart and they're gonna stomp all over you and that's gonna happen and no relationship is complete without the other side.

Amanda Loveland:

And why did you attract that? Yeah,

Jessica Carnesecca:

what was it and and I encourage people like if something's keeps happening, the same thing. The same, like reoccurring theme keeps happening to you. And it's like, why is this always happening to me? What is it about you that is attracting that behavior? Like what is what is being asked to be seen? Uh huh. How are you showing up? And I know that is a deep questions that people do not want to, well, this themselves that question, or where are you doing that

Amanda Loveland:

same thing? That's the hard question. Someone's being dishonest with you. Someone's treating you like you're less than whatever that is. Where were you doing that in your life? That one's painful? Yeah, yeah. And a very important question.

Jessica Carnesecca:

And it is a very important question, you're probably gonna get a very important answer. Yeah. If you ask

Amanda Loveland:

it. Those questions humble. You. least in my experience, oh,

Jessica Carnesecca:

well, and then and then it taken another step deeper, right? You're gonna ask a question without judgment? what's right and what's wrong, right? Just allowing to whatever comes up comes up, instead of saying, Oh, that's bad, or good? Or whatever. It's just it just, it just is. Yeah, it is what it is. And what is it showing me and being curious enough to really look at in the eye? Yeah. And say, Ouch, that hurt that right,

Amanda Loveland:

there is true self empowerment. Because when you're really willing to look at yourself that intimately. And I was telling you before we started recording, my most painful places to really look at myself for is in my marriage to Travis in my partnership, because that's our most that's our constant day to day, when there's things that are irritating me about him. Shit, what is it that I'm doing then? Because it's not always it's actually probably never him. It's probably never the people in our world. If in everything that I believe now, in my understanding, everything really is about ourselves. It's about our Interstate, what we're holding, and what's asking to be looked at.

Jessica Carnesecca:

Yeah, good and bad, good and bad. I mean, I do the same thing. Like with my kids, if I'm all of a sudden, I mean, you know, as moms and wives and business, women, whatever, all the things you're doing, you know, some days, you're just like, on this, like, track of, I don't know. buisiness. Yeah, it's just happening, right? You're not intentionally doing anything. You're just like, on this roller coaster, hamster wheel of life. And I and all of a sudden, like, I'm feeling frustrated with a kid and work and hubby. And all these things. And I, if I really, that's those are the moments where I'm like, I can stop and say, wait a minute, I'm a common denominator in this equation, as opposed to like, everyone is frustrating me, or all these things are happening. I am the common denominator. And if I can go and reground and put myself in timeout, and just really get clear in alignment. And usually those happen when I'm not coming from laser gratitude. I haven't been practicing what I'm preaching, right, because I'm on the hamster wheel. And I'm going and going and going, so I'm not taking the time for me, right? Those are the much needed time, much needed time. And if you have done that for a while, and the true self empowerment if you you know, because things start feeling kind of blissful. And then you because a lot of people only start doing that when things are really shit. And I encourage you to do that when things are amazing and wonderful to more so. But I have found myself in times when, you know, I fell out of the pattern because I just didn't have time, whatever, or things were going great. And sure enough, gosh, I get God smacked right in the face and be like, hey, you're lacking the name of Godsmack something like that. Anyway, those are the moments where I'm like, Okay, I'm not living my from a place of gratitude. I gotta reset. I'm so sorry. You're finding tell him that the other thing too that I think people are like, you know, the whole woe is me kind of thought is and I think we talked about this briefly with Holly but I find it important Change people are afraid of change. Oh, yeah. Change is evolution. Like if we're not changing or dying,

Amanda Loveland:

it's actually the one constant thing in life to change. Yeah, our world changes all the time. I mean, nature is changing all the time. So of course, we would be changing

Jessica Carnesecca:

well, even the cells in our bodies, I mean, isn't it true that like we, what is it like every 11 months or something, every cell in our body like regenerates, I think it's quicker than that, I think

Amanda Loveland:

something happens every 21 days as well.

Jessica Carnesecca:

Yeah, there's so because out robbing and changing, like, think about it, like you're not

Amanda Loveland:

you can change the neural pathways in your brain, the neural pathways in your brain, you can change after 30 days of doing something. And if you don't know what neural pathways are, neural pathways are so fascinating. And I love how you explain and you should, they're like, if you want to think of neural pathway, like a little tiny dirt road that's in your brain that is creating all these signals, right, you're starting to, you're starting to exercise and you're starting a new regimen, it feels hard, and you're starting to create this neural pathway, this little dirt road in your head, and the more you do it, then it creates a little paved little road little country road, and then turns into a two lane road that maybe now has the lines and whatever and then turns into a freeway and a highway. And what happens with the neural pathways is the more that we actually on the positive side, the more we continue that healthy behavior, then you're integrating that healthy behavior with all the chemicals that emotions the all the things that dump with that thought pattern, or that behavior. On the negative side, if you're in I like I use this as an example because it's so personal, in an abusive relationship where drama was so just recurring over and over again, that neural pathway had gotten so strong that when that was no longer in my life, it triggered this chemical dump, trying to recreate that thing because the neural pathway was so strong, and I just stopped reacting to it. And then the neural pathway is now you know, no longer active and I create something new so freaking fascinating and amazing what we can do with our bodies just by our belief system. You know, there's those books the Biology of Belief or anatomy of spirit that talks about how our biography creates our biology our thought patterns or reality our environment creates the acted like this cells and even you know, down to disease and whatnot. And I love speaking did we talk about maybe we were talking about Michael singer between

Jessica Carnesecca:

all between podcasts,

Amanda Loveland:

we we reference him a lot because he's definitely a game changer. And the way that he operates his his world is a game changer. And I love and I I tell this quite often when he talks about some scars, it's one of my favorite pieces, and worth what we're talking about with these pieces that you know, it keeps repeating in your life, it's bumping up against something within you that's asking to be looked at. And Michael singer, talks about him like some scars, which I look at as scars on the heart, or you can think of it as a river, a river that's just flowing naturally and peacefully going through the canyon. And there's no rocks or boulders, and event comes in triggers something some pain, some you know, traumatic relationship. And all of a sudden this big old boulder gets dropped in your River. And so now the water diverts around it splashes up and creates this, this thing, it now has to go around. So you're going through your everyday life and something triggers pings up on that rock and you get irritated. Those are the some scars that we carry. And the key is you get to go look at those scars, you get to go look at that wounding those triggers. Triggers are such a beautiful gift. And go What is it here that's asking to be healed. So that's no longer active, and it's no longer changing the way I see the world because our perspective is how we the world will reflect back how we see it. So you go heal those aspects, your perspective changes, the world will change with you. Your computers will stop working and

Jessica Carnesecca:

it was like wow, okay, I'm listening. Yeah, I

Amanda Loveland:

had a world is in service to you. Yeah, I

Jessica Carnesecca:

had a friend the other day, they were traveling to lava hot springs in Idaho. And they had a flat tire. And they were on a really strict time schedule and their little kids and the babysitting and all the things so it was, you know, this big deal without a flat tire and who has time for a flat tire. Okay, nobody want everybody wants that. So sure enough, they change the flat tire, and they leave and a portion of their ranch they have is on fire. Oh my gosh. There had been a lightning storm. Uh huh. But it wasn't raining where they were it was on the other hand, like 1100 acres or something. And a lightning storm had started this fire. Amanda had they not had the flat tire? They would have been on the road and they're out. I mean, you're in like Randolph Wyoming somewhere like there's no one out there. Again, I mean, it's just a night it's just another thing about that big boulder in the river right it's there to teach you something to pay attention to some rain like there are no coincidences in my experience in what I believe. So a flat tire and then all sudden your lands on fire. Had you not been there? The whole thing could have. Yeah, went up in flames. Yeah, I mean, it still took the fire trucks like seven minutes to get there. So quite a bit had burnt No, but if they wouldn't have been there They wouldn't have called they wouldn't have known right? It could have destroyed their whole ranch their cattle, the whole thing out there because you're out in Illinois, and it wasn't raining where they were out, it was like a dry lightning storm. Anyway, so I think it's, you know, symbolic of the fact that those are moments that everyone, they're not going to deny. Yeah, I got a flat tire and it saved my ranch from getting burned down. But the everyday kind of boulders that happen in your life, we're so irritated and put out. Yeah, by the things that don't go according to plan, or the way we thought that they should go, right? Why is that worrying to plan, but I have this massive plan. If it doesn't go this way. I'm gonna be so bad. Michael singer talks about that, too. He says, you know, this moments happening with or without you, right? And it's happened with or without you for 1000s and millions of years. So your moment is no, it's all about how you

Amanda Loveland:

the way he talks about the Big Bang and how this planet was created. And the fact that we are literally from Stardust is so beautiful, the way he tells a story, we'll have to put the link in the show notes. But he does. He says it's it's so comical that we humans Come on this planet that's been in a process of movement for millions of years, and you think you're gonna come control the outcome of what's already been in motion for?

Jessica Carnesecca:

It's like, it's really yeah. And he says, like, doesn't happen to you. It happens through you. Yeah, so I'm doing his course right now. Yeah. And it's just fascinating. And of course, like, I listen to one chapter, and I just have to go back and listen again. Yeah, and inherently pick up something.

Amanda Loveland:

I felt like every time I read listened to I get something different. One, if you haven't, if you're not familiar with Michael singer, singer, here's somebody that was teaching in college, and a carer what he was teaching was that philosophy, or was something more, I think they just said they wanted him to come teach whatever he could, you know, whatever he wanted to teach, he chose, they asked him to come to his teaching at the very beginning of he got to pick he was he was working at the university, if I remember correctly, but essentially, he has this first he has a first thought with a conversation of with a guy in his living room, where there was an awkward moment of silence. And he went, What is this voice in my head? That is saying, I need to say something now, because this is awkward. And that thought one thought led him on this path to where he's at now, where he's had some massive success in life with and has property and wherever and does weekly, you know, discussions, and Florida is actually where he's at. And so you know, which I love his story, because here's someone who, a lot of times in the spiritual community, there's a mis belief, or there's a challenge with people having money and being spiritual. And here's someone who completely exemplified that all by going with the flow, and going, oh, maybe I should look into this. And then that led to another thing, which led to another thing and having a software company and then you know,

Jessica Carnesecca:

well, I think that's alluded to in the surrender experiment. And I can't remember which one I read first, the surrender experience or the untethered soul, but his story is fascinating. And I've learned a lot from him. Me too. And the Biology Belief. Bruce Lipton is fascinating. The Florence scovel Shinn, I think we've talked about her before the game of life and how to play it. Yeah.

Amanda Loveland:

I'm right now reading the anatomy of spirit by Carolyn Miss, which I love that book. And that's the last podcast, we talked a little bit about power. And that's one of the core things she says that will create disease in the body is the need or the need for power, or you giving away your power all the time. Which is really a fascinating thought.

Jessica Carnesecca:

I know I had someone say something to me the other day that hadn't been sent to the podcast, and they were like, oh, but I guess that's just disease in the body and laughed, and I said 100% Yes, sir. I stand by my statement, you were listening to dis ease in the body, Period. End of story. I believe that through and through. I love it. You know what I think I loved how Amanda Michelle even like, express that, like if you're filling something where you're actually filling it in your body. You know, I had somebody share where she talked about anger and filling it in your jaw and how powerful that was? And like, Oh my gosh, yeah, that really resonated with me.

Amanda Loveland:

And the fact that we're not our emotions or thoughts. Yeah. which I know is challenging sometimes to go, well, then what the hell are we? And that's the question, What are you without them? Yeah, you know, it's coming down to that soul spirit level, and that those abilities and I think that's why you and I are both passionate about what we do and the self help and always trying to become a more empowered version of ourselves because we start seeing those glimpses of our soul. And those are pieces that feel so peaceful and at home and so connected and personal all at the same time, and just more the way that we want to live through the, you know, operate in the world.

Jessica Carnesecca:

One, I think I'm like you too. I'm passionate about helping other people live that way to finding their own inner strength and their own inner gumption and grit and Just standing in the fire, right, being the eye on the storm and really kind of just owning the moment and seeing it for what it is. Yeah, the good, the bad and the ugly and

Amanda Loveland:

taking ownership.

Jessica Carnesecca:

Yeah, yeah. And what is it here to show me and even like microsim, singer, singer says, it's not happening to you, it's happening through you. A lot of people say it's happening for you. I like how he says through through you, because that is just, it's more more personal anyway. And I think it really gives us an opportunity to go within, because the answers are within

Amanda Loveland:

one than the idea that we are creators of our, you know, what's that? The captain of my soul, I'm the creator of my destiny, the master of my fate kind of thing. And the idea is that, yeah, we are creators, we get to be ultimate creators in this life, the kicker is, and this is where I think it gets a little bit. The simplified version of this, though, is we're creating from the scars we're creating from the limiting beliefs we're creating from subconscious holdings, that when we start unraveling that, then the creation that comes through is a lot more pure and clean, and really what you're wanting, and that that's why I do what I do. That's why you do what you do is unraveling that unwinding that and, and the unwinding process can be painful.

Jessica Carnesecca:

So if you're doing it right, it probably is painful.

Amanda Loveland:

Oh, you know, you're doing it right. If you're like, what the hell is this? This is the most uncomfort if it is uncomfortable, you're doing it, right. Because you're asking for something new?

Jessica Carnesecca:

Well, and being the Creator, the CO creator of your own life, whether you're co creating with God or your spouse, or any like being a creative what you want, yeah, like, do you decide like you, I don't know, I'm just the more you know, and the more you learn, and the more you like, lean into your own personal empowerment and self love self like, then you can create your own co creator of your own life, like you get, you get to have this harmonious journey, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and it all gets to work through you. And it all is for you. And you all just, you carry this light about you. And it doesn't matter if you get a flat tire or if something really bad happens, like you just have this moment of, Okay, I'm ready, I asked to see something.

Amanda Loveland:

Well, the kicker is, you're already the CO creator of your reality, you just are you conscious of what you're creating? Are you conscious of the things that are blocking your path? Are you conscious of the boulders conscious of these, these pieces are being willing to look at them. And then being the ultimate co creator in your reality of Okay, and this is what I really want

Jessica Carnesecca:

to know, if you're not willing to look at it, then you're co creating that too.

Amanda Loveland:

Yeah. 100% that's the thing you're constantly creating. You're constantly creating.

Jessica Carnesecca:

Yeah, and there are some things you don't want to look at. And I just encourage you to look at it anyway. Do it anyway, curiosity, and help each other people for helping for

Amanda Loveland:

for the love of God, please do not forget that you are not that you're human. Nobody's perfect. In fact, I was listening to this thing the other day that's like, perfect, actually, is wholeness. It's coming back to wholeness. It's not this idea of perfection of whatever society is deemed it to be. It's just coming back to wholeness within the self. And that can look like a lot of different things for a lot of people. And we are human, and we get to feel our emotions, and we get to have those freaking, I really, I'm just gonna have we have we get to have those fuckit days where we feel like everything is just a shit show. And I'm, I'm going to have that day. I have less and less of those days. Thank God.

Jessica Carnesecca:

Yeah, but sometimes those are the days like, I know, going through that with Courtney. And even the my own stuff, like those are the days that like when you just sit in that darkness, and you just like become it and let it like Courtney really had to hit the rock bottom, I'm gonna say before she saw the light. And it was 100 it was some of the most painful days of my life. Watching her even going through those Oh, yeah, like, and I just had to hold space for her to do that. And even me, those days where you just don't even know if you can get out of bed because the pain is just too much to bear. And how good How could this thing happened to me? And just so you're right, those specific days where you're like, today, I'm in it, and I'm going to be all in it. It's just, yeah, just fill it and own it. Well, that

Amanda Loveland:

doesn't those days don't mean you're not doing things right. You know, this idea of right and wrong. I think kind of catches us up when you're trying to do self development and personal empowerment that when you've been doing you've been in that state where you can see the beauty and all the gifts when you're you know, whatever at the state where you feel like oh my gosh, yes. And then you have a shitty day. It does not mean that you're not doing things right just means there's something else is asking to come in.

Jessica Carnesecca:

Yeah, and just the change the evolution if you don't like the word change, then use evolve. I'm evolving. I'm evolving, but yeah, yeah. Awesome. Well, little seeker of Truth conversation, hopefully 30 like bombs. Yeah, I have that. That's actually like my title on my devenish duo. Is it seeker of Truth and creator of joy. Hello, no, I didn't remember that. Yeah, sorry. I'm yawning, yawning that's good. Isn't

Amanda Loveland:

that like you're releasing yonder signs of releasing? And it could be I'm tired.

Jessica Carnesecca:

I'm tired of sitting here chatting with you. So what you're saying, No. No, you're like, wait,

Amanda Loveland:

why are you taking that personally? Because I wanted to have a conversation where

Jessica Carnesecca:

your eyes went up. I'm like, you're like thinking maybe I am? No, yes, it was personal, Amanda.

Amanda Loveland:

Everything. What is universals personal? was personal is universal.

Jessica Carnesecca:

The world doesn't revolve around me. That's weird.

Amanda Loveland:

Oh, my gosh, I may edit all this out. That's where rambling because it's time to be done. Yes. Wow.

Jessica Carnesecca:

Well, hopefully we shared something that will resonate with you today and help you find your own truth

Amanda Loveland:

is always sending you so much love and joy. Today, Joy is my middle name. So that is part of you know, we should start being joy and love. You'll be joy. I'll be love will be both. I don't want just one or the other, though. That's true. That's true. Thank you for joining the conversation today. We hope that something we said sparked your curiosity to further your growth.

Jessica Carnesecca:

Only you know what is meant for you. So let's continue the conversation and follow us on our Facebook page at what is personal is universal. We'll see you there.