Coping as an Autistic Person

It’s complicated. Each day an autistic person handles both autism and life’s challenges. It takes energy and skill.

Listen for some tips to help cope with autistic life. 

Transcript

00:03.26

The Autistic Woman

Welcome to meet my autistic brain I'm your host the autistic woman I discovered autism late in life and in this podcast I share my experiences and challenges. So you can learn what it's like to be autistic I want to thank you for supporting the show. It's because of you that I can keep the podcast going check the links in the show notes today to contribute. To deal with and attempt to overcome problems and difficulties. That's the definition of coping.

00:53.60

The Autistic Woman

It's an ongoing process and something that we face every day as autistics what it looks like and what we can do are the subjects of this episode.

01:20.89

The Autistic Woman

Every day an autistic person wakes up to challenges that are unlike those of a non-autistic person some days we feel depressed some days. We feel frustrated some days. We're okay, even thankful to be alive. Whatever our feelings or mood we have to deal with and attempt to overcome the problems and difficulties that come with being an autistic person. We have to cope neurotypicals deal with life challenges too. Autism makes it harder for us.

02:08.15

The Autistic Woman

As we learn about Autism and how it affects us the symptoms and traits and the reason our lives I have unfolded the symptoms and traits and the reasons our lives have unfolded the way they have. We figure out that no matter what we do some things will not change. Some will get better and others will always be there. We might never like fluorescent lights. We might learn to enjoy Avocados. For the things that can't be Changed. We have to learn to cope. We can't solve many of the things we see as problems so we have to figure out a way to live with them. In this episode I'll talk about some things you can do to help yourself. They may bring some relief. They may head off a particularly difficult day they might not work. It's worth experimenting.

03:37.57

The Autistic Woman

It starts with acceptance.

03:46.18

The Autistic Woman

At Times it's been hard for me to understand and accept that there are things about me that are due to autism that I can't change since autistics are problem solvers by Nature. This is a hard One. We read self-help books in part because we believe there's an answer that there's something we can do to make things work for us Acceptance isn't just Realizing. We're Autistic. It's also being okay with it by that I mean being okay with the fact that things are the way they are they just are acceptance. Acceptance means you don't beat yourself up for your past or Present. You don't have to like it. You can understand it. It.

04:55.28

The Autistic Woman

Courage all the strength and courage in the world will not mean you can change your circumstances unless they're capable of being changed courage does help you cope. It does help us change what is within our control.

05:23.69

The Autistic Woman

Energy and strength sure it takes a lot of energy to handle each day if you're Autistic. You know what it takes even more energy to fight against your own resistance. It's natural to feel some resistance when you find out, you're Autistic. You may not even realize that it's happening autistics don't like change and what can be a bigger change than learning. You're autistic Resistance. Feels. Like you have to push yourself to do Anything. You're pushing against it and that's tiring.. The interesting thing is that the strength of your resistance is showing you how strong you are. But a.

06:31.66

The Autistic Woman

Think about it with an analogy Imagine someone's trying to come into your house Your front door is slightly ajar and you want to stop them you push against the door using all of your strength to resist. That's what we do except imagine that the person trying to get in is the part of ourselves that knows how amazing we are that realizes our value that understands us save your strength and end the resistance you need it. For other things.

07:17.72

The Autistic Woman

Wisdom and knowledge who knows more than an autistic person right? Well that may be an an exaggerate well that may be an exaggeration. We know how much we Research. We know how much we love learning many of us have lived our lives as observers and that's given us wisdom use it to give yourself credit for your good qualities and strengths.

07:59.38

The Autistic Woman

There are things you can do now to cope make a list of the positive qualities that make you who you are and read it I recommend doing this before you have a difficult day so you can reach for it and read it. When things feel tough. It's easy to forget who we really are when negative thoughts take over.. It's good to have the reminder that you have another side a beautiful intelligent outstanding side. A beautiful intelligent, outstanding side. Even your worst day doesn't deprive you of your good qualities. Do your best. I had a day recently when I couldn't cope I just couldn't I tried I had no energy I wasn't happy I had 0 motivation. It felt like trying to swim through cello.

09:19.52

The Autistic Woman

After a while I just went with it I dropped my resistance and accepted that it wasn't a day I could get anything done or change my mood for that one day I had to live with it as it was. I had to remind myself that it was temporary but a side note if you have many days like this. It's best to talk to a medical professional because your feelings may have a physical cause that can be treated absent that. The next day you might have energy enough to make up for the lost time you might have energy to cope with the fact that for one day you couldn't cope.

10:24.60

The Autistic Woman

I consider myself to be a positive person at heart I like to be happy I value it and I think it's 1 reason we take it so hard when we aren't happy because unhappiness is not who we are. We take it hard. And we take it personally recognize this about yourself in part, you may not be doing well because doing pearly is it in part you may not be doing well. Because doing poorly isn't your natural state autistics are sensitive. You might as well accept that you are because you can't change it. You can change your mindset by understanding. It's 1 thing that makes you who you are. It's one of many things that's a good quality.

11:34.10

The Autistic Woman

Reduce judgment if we don't want to be judged by others. We can't judge Ourselves Judgment is impossible to completely stop because it's a survival Instinct judging ourselves harshly. Is not the worst time to judge yourself is when you aren't feeling good. Emotionally I tell myself that I'm not going to listen to my judging mind when I'm down I give myself permission to do it later when I feel better. You can guess what happens. I Don't judge myself negatively when I feel ok.

12:23.13

The Autistic Woman

Be kind all those negative things your mind tells you are just thoughts and thoughts aren't always true. Would you say the things you say to yourself to a friend. What do we gain by believing negative thoughts. 1 thing you can do when you're faced with your own negativity is to ask am I absolutely sure that that thought is true. Am I absolutely sure that thought is true. How does the thought make me feel how would I feel if the opposite were true. This can take the energy out of the thoughts. It can help you focus on what you'd rather feel or think.

13:31.38

The Autistic Woman

A.

13:40.86

The Autistic Woman

Patience you don't have to cope with forever today what may or may not happen in the future can't be handled right now. Do what you can for the moment cope with now right here. This minute this day sometimes just coping with life is enough. There are other autistics who are doing the same. They have good days and bad. They use their energy to cope sometimes more sometimes less.

14:29.13

The Autistic Woman

Persistence I'm sure it's an autistic strength persistence can persistence can frustrate us because we don't always quit when it's wise to do so use that to your advantage. And decide to use persistence to keep going all of these strategies may not work and if they don't and you're having a really hard day understand you might not be able to change it. Take care of yourself that day meditate take a hot bath bake a cake take a walk do something to be good to yourself. Rewatch your favorite movie eat Chocolate Give yourself credit that you are autistic. And you're handling it give yourself permission to have a bad day and realize that tomorrow could be better.

15:50.75

The Autistic Woman

Reach out to me by email at info at the autisticwoman.com or you can contact me on Twitter at an autistic woman I love hearing from you tell your family like. Tell your family and friends about the podcast. So others can learn what it's like to be autistic I'm appreciative of the support you've given me on co-fi paypal and Patreon it makes a difference in whether I can continue to provide contact. It makes a difference in whether I can continue to provide content for the podcast. Thank you if you haven't contributed yet remember that you can pay less than nine cents per episode. By donating only ten dollars I hope you enjoyed this episode. Keep coming back. This has been meet my autistic brain I'm the autistic woman. Slava Ukraine.