Ep. #7: Emotional Adulthood vs. Emotional Childhood

In this episode, we explore what it means to be an emotional adult and how being in emotional childhood holds us back. 

For activists and academics, we look at how managing our mind  and leaning into emotional adulthood actually helps us tackle social justice issues and energizes us to go change the world around us. I look at codependent behaviors that keep us in emotional childhood and how these behaviors prevent us from having healthy and loving relationships with ourselves and others. 

I give practical tips, questions, and exercises you can do to lean into emotional adulthood when you find yourself in a strained relationship with someone. 

Transcript

Welcome to Unleash Your Inner Power with Dr. Janny Chang, the podcast that helps women from all walks of life use thoughtworks research and storytelling to help rewire your brain and kick ass in your personal and professional life. Hello, my queens, my friends. Welcome to the unleash your inner power podcast. I got really excited about doing this show because I've been coached and coaching myself on tapping into my future self. And I've been doing this exercise where I already see myself doing the 100th episode. And just being so proud about building this body of content, content that I think will reach out to help people in a way that I felt when I first listened to unfuck your brain with car loan file. That's how I got into thought work. And the Life Coach School podcast with Brooke Castillo, which is so excellent, highly recommend the podcast and the entire coaching school.

It just it blows my mind how much I get from each podcast and how change happens just by my being more aware of my own thoughts, and feelings. So thinking about this as it's happening now my mantra being, yes, I am that 100 podcast life coach like that thought just amps me up and gets me going and gets me even more motivated and excited to create this content and share what I've learned with y'all. And believe in me, I am all about celebrating the shit out of each step of the way of this podcast journey of this coaching journey. The pattern goes number one, tap into my future self. Number two, get excited and create and take massive action. Number three, celebrate the shit out of each milestone. And number four, pat myself on the back for the body of work I've created. And the final item, get feedback and continue to improve and the cycle starts all over again. So those are my steps. And I highly recommend following that. If you have a goal to achieve, and you want to feel excited and stoked about the journey, not just the destination. But it's really the journey that matters right along the way. It sounds cliche, but I promise that's really where all the learning takes place. And all the magic happens is on the journey.

Alright, so this week, I want to talk about emotional adulthood versus emotional childhood. What is emotional childhood? It's when we don't take responsibility for how we feel. And we keep blaming other people, external circumstances and everything around us, or everyone around us for how we feel Act and the results we get in life. The classic example of this is if you watch red Table Talk with Jada Pinkett Smith, oh my gosh, I love that show.
You know, she's just brilliant and a total queen. And she talks about there's just one episode where she talks about her dad, and you know him not being there in her life. And she talks about how for a long time, it was just so easy for her to wear that cloak of victimhood, because it felt good, you know, to blame everything that went wrong in her life, on the fact that her father wasn't there for her when she was growing up. And by blaming, she removed herself from the responsibility of having to make changes in her life, you know, or be responsible for our own feelings, right? She could just wallow in misery, instead of saying, you know what this thing happened, but I am owning it. And I'm going to take responsibility for how I'm feeling now. So that took away power from her to choose how she wanted to react to the situation. And charter on life, right? Not as a victim of her circumstance. But as the captain of her own ship. Right. That's, that's what it means to be an emotional adult. Right now, that doesn't mean we deny what's happened in life, right? Even in the most horrific situations. It's up to us, though to take responsibility for ourselves, whether it's to go seek help, whether that's through therapy, or coaching, to gain clarity on the situation, to learn and grow from it, to ask the universe, what your lesson is from this, right that it doesn't. So that's what it means to take responsibility for ourselves is to go seek that help if we need it.

Now the opposite opposite of emotional childhood.

Emotional adulthood, okay? And that is taking responsibility for how we feel and act, owning where we are in life, accepting, but not necessarily condoning, there's a big difference, right? accepting what's happened or what someone else did not necessarily condoning. And recognizing that how we respond in our commitment to come into peace with it internally, lies within us.

The greatest example I can think of is Viktor Frankl who wrote the search for meaning, which is essentially about his experience as a prisoner at a concentration camp, where he lost his entire family. And you can't even imagine what he had to go through, right, I can't fathom what he went through. But his famous quote, and the theme of the book is, quote, everything can be taken from a man but one thing, the last of the human freedoms, to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way, unquote. That's the, quote, rights of so powerful. So emotional adulthood is recognizing and taking responsibility for choosing one's own way, regardless of the circumstance. Now, this is something to really think about, you know, when I learned this, this concept, I totally blew my mind. Right? I mean, when we get into emotional childhood, I'm sorry, when we get into emotional childhood, and we see bits and pieces of this, you know, even our own lives, right? Is, for example, we blame our co worker or a boss for making our lives miserable, or, or we blame our spouse for not meeting our needs. Right? When we do that, we're essentially saying, they must know what's in my head. And they must, therefore be the kind of person I want them to be in order to make me feel good, and not feel hurt by them. In a way, it's a form of controlling behavior. You're trying to control other people. Just think about that for a second, right? My relationship with others, is totally based on my thoughts about those people. I'm actually having relationship with myself, right? It's my perceptions of how those people are. Let that sink in for a bit. Remember, everything in our lives gets filtered, and mediated by our brain. So there's no universal objective reality in how someone is because it's just my perception and thoughts about that person. Right? Let me give you an example. take someone who's been married multiple times, right?
It's possible that each spouse has different thoughts about that person, right? Absolutely. But it's not the person that's different. I mean, inside they're the same person. But it's the thoughts that are different, right? Even in the case of politics, say there's someone we just despise and complain about, because he's a narcissist. And he's horrible to women and people. I'm not gonna name names. We all know who this person could be. But it's not a universal truth. Because there are people who really like that person and think he's the greatest gift to Earth. Now whose truth matters?

Right. Another example is, this is more far fetched, but it's still something to really think about that really points us out, is even someone like Jeffrey Dahmer, who's a serial killer actually has a fan club. I mean, there are people who, you know, are, are attracted to someone like Jeffrey Dahmer. Right? So the point is, there are these different perceptions about individuals, and there really isn't an objective truth about that person. It's really just our own thoughts. So when we think something about someone we're actually having relationship with those thoughts. So it's not necessarily just objective truth, just our thoughts, right. So that means when we say aware when we say that person has made me mad or sad, what we're saying is that we think our thoughts about that person make me mad or sad. Being an emotional adulthood means recognizing that those are my thoughts and I am the only one who has the power to make myself feel this way. No one else can and I am responsible for how I respond to the situation or person.

Okay, now, for my activists and academic friends. I know you may be thinking, WTF, right? Like, every day you're fighting against injustice and racism, sexism, climate change, poverty, economic inequality.

Recognize that in everything you do in fighting against structural change, thought work, being an emotional adult, will work in your favor. If there isn't the epitome of a manage mind, I mean, we can think of one. And that's Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr, who was a radical and who argued for economic equality and a revolution of values. And who, despite being called names and being attacked and threatened, he went out to the marches and protested, right. And he, even the day before he was assassinated, he was Memphis and gave a speech at this point, he had made a lot of enemies. Yes, he was saying how insidious the white moderates were right. And he had had a bomb threat on the plane that morning. And he said, I would like to live a long life, longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that right now. I just want to do God's will, I want you to know that as people, we will get to the promised land. I speaking to his people, to African Americans, right. And so he watched he learned, he adapted. And you can bet that he managed to stop his thoughts and feelings Well, in order to be out there in the marches, despite, you know, being making so many enemies and having these threats against him. And he was for sure an emotional adult, right? Because he knew he was responsible for his own thoughts and feelings. Because if he listened to other people, well, I mean, for a lot of people of color, and for even myself move, we really listen to what society told us. And that's what we have to work through that shame. With, we will start believing that we actually were inferior right? Now, Dr. King knew very well, that that was not the truth. Right. And so he took responsibility for his own thoughts and feelings in order to change, make change outside his society, he had to manage his own thoughts and feelings well inside internally, and be that emotional adult, and be responsible for his own thoughts and feelings in order to create that outside change. Right. Now, if you're just posting on social media and consuming a ton of news, that's gloom and doom, and you feel productive by reposting things. But you're actually not out there creating or implementing, or taking risks. I implore you, I asked you to ask yourself to get in touch with your feelings on this. How do you feel when you consume the news? How do you feel when you reshare those posts? Do you feel energized? Or do you feel drained? Is this the feeling you want? And the million dollar question is how does feeling this way, motivate you to take action to create change in the areas that you care about? Whether it's climate change, or social justice movements, like Dr. King was doing? Or I can name so many other activists, Yuri kochiyama. Grace Lee Boggs, right? I mean, they were able to manage their thoughts and feelings.

And be emotional adults and be responsible for how they felt and thought in order to go out there and take risks and go and organize and get people together and influence minds and go speak and go protest in March amidst all these challenges, right.
So sometimes, I think as liberal thinkers, we get bogged down in being the victim as well, right? It feels so good to just stay in our indignant anger and righteousness. And I'm not saying there's a place for it. The Black Lives Matter movement rose out of the ashes because of this collective and productive anger, right. But it also emerged and gain momentum because of individuals who went to work, organizing, coordinating movements, and organizing citizens and teachings and spreading the word. those actions did not come from unmanaged minds, right, or emotional, being emotional, emotional childhood. They came from mines, that were focused and knew exactly what they were doing.

So what I'm saying is, be aware of your feelings and thoughts, and evaluate whether they're serving you and your cause. If it's taking a brain energy, then it better be serving the revolution. Am I right? Now let's get back to talking about emotional childhood at the individual level. Okay. So when we play the blame game, it's not only that we allow others to have control over our emotions and how we feel. But also, we are not ourselves acting from a place of maturity and self reflection. Now I have clients who come to me with marriage problems and when it's always the other person
fault, you know the way that they say it and talk about it as if it's the always the other person's fault that raises a red flag in my mind.

So and so is the narcissist and so so is gaslighting me. And the thing is, this kind of discussion doesn't ever lead to healing. And what I get from clients is that they want to heal, they do want to feel better. But from a place of deep self love from a place that's internal, not a quick fix or bandaid, right? healing comes from self love. And it's hard to do that when you're busy blaming the other person. And you're only seeing it from one point of view. Right? So the way forward to heal is to ask yourself, what role am I playing in this?

You may feel someone totally wronged you. But it does take to in this intimate relationship. Right. So what role did you play? Did you enable it? Did you turn a blind eye or not establish boundaries when you should have? What role did you play in the unraveling of the relationship? And then the second question to ask is what role will you play going forward? What is it that you want to feel? How do you want to show up in your relationship? And what actions will you take to move forward and heal? So notice that in the sets of questions, these two sets of questions, it's about you and what you can do. It's about you and what you feel. It's not about the other person because we can't change other people, or make them feel a certain way. Right? It's about you. And that is stepping into emotional adulthood is taking that responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings and actions, and the results that you want in your life.

Now I know that some people are used to codependent behaviors and relationships that really aren't healthy. Now we have to step back a little bit and touch on a philosophy of life, whether you're religious or spiritual, you know, really think to yourself, what is the purpose of life for you? Do you want to show up as your highest self or your favorite self with the utmost integrity? I think for those of us who are coaches, or if you're seeking a life coach, or you're into psychology and personal improvement and development, you probably think in those terms, you probably think you know, I want to live according to my values. I want to sleep well at night, knowing that I have learned the wisdom and the ways of the universe, right. And when we engage in codependent behaviors and relationships, that is when we try to control the other person by manipulating them. I've seen parents do this too, right? Or we live in an in an authentic way, as a recovering people pleaser, I can attest to this, like it's not living as my highest self is, is you know, being inauthentic when you're people pleaser, right? Because you're just like lying to the people. But how you think and how you feel that's not being true to your highest self. Right? That either way you're manipulating or you're people pleasing. You're just lying. Right? And that doesn't feel good. Right? It doesn't feel good deep inside. And we know we know when it doesn't feel right. Just feels off, you know, just doesn't feel clean. Like my mind doesn't feel clean when I'm trying to people please. Right?
our internal compass is off, right? Like how sad is it? That you have to be?

How sad is it that you have to lie and you have to like be dishonest in order to get someone to do what you want to make you feel good about yourself, right? Because that's essentially what manipulation and people pleasing are. It's lying. It's not telling the truth. It's covering up. It's hiding who you are.

That doesn't feel good. And there are all kinds of reasons people engage in codependent behaviors that stem from lack of self confidence could be from conditioning as a child, you might have seen your parents manipulate each other. Right? I remember I had a friend whose uncle was so proud that his parents never raised their voices in front of their kids. But what he later on realized upon reflection was that his parents, even though they didn't raise her voice, but they were always manipulating each other, you know. So they didn't have a channel in which to express disagreements. So they did that through trying to control and manipulate each other.

And so that's what he grew up with. Right? And so no surprise, no surprise there that he discovered that he was doing the same thing with his wife and only broke the cycle when he became aware of his own thoughts and actions. So there are many reasons why people engage in codependent behavior. But it's definitely steeped in emotional childhood. Right? And so to come out of that, the first step and the key step is to be aware of our own thoughts.
Take responsibility for our own thoughts. No one else can dictate our thoughts and feelings, right? recognize that we get to choose them.

Now, as I mentioned, the second step is to ask ourselves, what role do we play in the situation or the relationship, you can write down the sequence of events as facts, you know, putting your journal so and so did x. So then did why I said this, and that, write all of it down. And each sentence put just one line per sentence, so that it doesn't read like a narrative or story that we tell ourselves. But instead, it's a list of facts that we're going to go through one by one and interrogate and examine and scrutinize. So if a boss yells at you,
right, and you can write that sequence of events, boss says seven words, then evaluate each sentence, what happens next, I got up out of my chair, I walked to my desk, you know, Boss walks to the door, right? So you can evaluate each sentence and write your assessment in the next column, you know, draw a little column. And in that column, you're going to write down what do these words mean? What am I making it mean about myself?

Maybe I could have met the deadline, as my boss said, but it's simply not true, that the memo was poorly written. So you're going to go through and just logically assess each statement, and pull out what you think, is factual. And what you think is just a story that you're telling yourself. When you're doing this process, make sure you're doing it in a quiet place. And after you've reached a state of common side, so like, if something has just happened, that you're upset about, you know, don't don't start writing these sentences and journals right away, because it's just going to read like a narrative, a story that has a lot of anger in it, right? Instead, you want to be calm. So it should be you know, hours later, after you've had some time to process your emotions. Or it could be the day after or could be a while laughter. Make sure you're calm. And as you're doing this exercise, just step outside your body as you're doing it like distance yourself. As if you were someone who was assessing the validity of each statement like a scientist, right? You can even read each statement, if it helps you on a scale of one to 1010 be most accurate. You know, what, how would you rate that statement? Would it be a three? Would it be a nine, you get to decide what those statements mean? You know, boss says, These seven words, what does that mean? You know, is it true? When I'm calm and thinking logically about it? If it's not true, then I go ahead and assess it right? It's totally not true.

Remind yourself that it's never about you, right, your boss yelled at you. Because Also, your boss is responsible for his or her own thoughts and emotions.
Nothing can make your boss act a certain way. But the thoughts that's in their own mind. So don't take it personally ask yourself, What am I making the statement or action mean about me? And does it even make sense? Right? So finally moving forward, I suggest making an action plan. So when that happens again, or something happens again, when my boss yells at me again? What thought do I want to think and how do I want to feel?
Maybe the thought is I want to imagine my boss as Snoopy with a muffled muffled voice talking to me, right? You know, that kind of lightens things right? Or maybe the thought is I realized my boss is going through a divorce. So that allows me to be more empathetic and detach myself when this happens not be so reactive.

Maybe it's simply recognizing that your boss is an emotional child, and doesn't have the tools like you do to manage their mind. So you, you can think of different ways to eggs
acute this action plan. But the key in this is that you practice this thought so hard and so often, that when that situation happens again, you know, it could be your boss yelling at you, it could be, you know, a conflict with your significant other, it could be any situation you find yourself in that you consider to be challenging.

When it comes to relationships, the point is that you're going to practice this thought so much that it becomes natural, and it's going to generate the feeling and actions you want. And I guarantee that the result will be that you don't take this as personally, and you will see yourself starting to manage your mind better, right? And you're going to feel better. You know, and it's going to be quicker and just come and go even observe your own mind going, Oh, yeah, like, you know, there goes my boss. This is look at my mind, suddenly reacting. But that's just my own thoughts. You know, you're in observe yourself. And I'm, you know, once you observe yourself, you actually actually remove and detach, you've already disrupted in your own mind. You know, the typical reactions you have, so it's already disruption. And then you just kind of watch your own thoughts. So you know, here I am getting mad at my boss. There he is yelling, there goes my brain again, you know, making it PR taking it personal, you know, you start observing it right. And you'll see a change in how you start to be aware and manage your mind better.

Now, this is a situation that logically makes sense, right? Some people, a lot of people feel justified in feeling bad when someone yells at them, or when they feel like they've been wronged, right. But these questions and tips are useful in all types of situations. And I practice this in all types of situations that I find myself in, right. Let me give you another example. I knew someone who had the thought that everyone around her just didn't like her. So she actually said, I think people around me don't like me, she complained about a co worker she had, she complained about a friend she had. And so her thought people don't like me, if I were to put in a thought model, that would be like a thought line, the tea line. That's not a circumstance because it's simply not objective that people don't like her. It's a thought she consciously or subconsciously chose to have right. And her feeling her feeling caused by that thought was discontent. So she was very discontent at work and, and discontent at home whenever she thought people didn't like her.

But what's interesting is the actions she took when she had a thought. And the feeling was that she was not reaching out to those people around her, she instead gossip about gossip about them, complained about them behind their backs, you know, so the result she created was that she didn't like them. And she didn't like herself. She was projecting onto others what she was thinking of feeling about herself. That aversion. So even though she told me she thought people didn't like people didn't like her. When we went ahead and and did a thought model we analyze it, we could see that she took actions that were pretty unkind to them and created the result of her not liking them. And her not liking herself. Whatever she was thinking she was projecting onto others. So I think it's important when leaning into emotional adulthood, to just pause, just pause and reflect and ask yourself these key questions right? Am I projecting onto others? what I feel about myself?
No, in what ways Am I taking responsibility for my own thoughts and feelings? Because and I know this is a hard pill to swallow, so I'm gonna let it sink in for a little bit.
Other people cannot make us feel or think a certain way unless we let them. It's our own thoughts about someone or something that creates our feelings.

Now, I think that this works, even in relationships with those that are closest to us. So if you're having trouble with a spouse, being an emotional adult, means going through the steps about taking responsibility for your thoughts and actions. asking yourself what role you played, making an action plan for yourself and practicing that thought when you find yourself in that situation again, if you think someone is triggering feelings in you, even if it's someone close to you practice

Allowing them to think and feel how they want you resisting it is just you trying to control them. Right? And we know we cannot control other people. It's their thoughts that create their feelings and our thoughts create our feelings. So practice letting them think and feel what they want. And with ourselves practice having our own back, right, what does it mean to have your own back? It means knowing that our worth and validation do not come from other people. Yes, I know. This is like such a counterintuitive thing. I think for so many of us, especially women, right? Like we've been conditioned to be like, Oh, she hurt my feelings when you're a little girl like you're you have a tiff with your best friend and like she hurt my feelings and everyone rushes to you. Oh, no. Right? Or even as women like we're so conditioned to watch these romantic movies, which are all about other people making us happy right like with like pretty woman right? Like Richard Gere riding up in the car and like, saving her and, you know, making her so happy. And then then riding off into the sunset. So Richard Gere is the Savior, you know, it's other someone else is making us happy and creating our feelings of happiness. Guess what, that doesn't last because you know why doesn't last because other people can't make us happy. Other people can't create feelings in us. We are the ones doing it. It's our thoughts about what that person's doing. That's creating the feelings for us, right? So when you lean into emotional adulthood, you've got to practice having your own back, right? You got to practice to yourself that like I am worthy. I am loved. I love myself. I like myself, right? Doesn't matter what other people think if I've been rejected on a date, or even if someone says negative things about me, or even if people hate us, we love ourselves unconditionally. Were our own best friend. We're our safety net. We lean into ourselves all over ourselves, and we pour love inward. Right? We get to choose how we want to feel about ourselves, right? That's what being emotional adult means. It means that we choose how we feel about ourselves. No one else can make us feel a certain way. Not even Richard Gere and pretty woman.

So when that happens when you recognize and you practice thinking, and feeling that love for yourself and having your own back, when that happens, true freedom abounds. It is truly revolutionary. It is an amazing, immense feeling. That just opens up your heart and breaks the bonds that allow you to be who you are, right?

When you have that immense feeling, and you carry it within day in and day out, you know what happens? And this happens to me, like nothing can hurt you. And I mean, that live is still 50 so when I say nothing can hurt you. I'm talking about the other 50% right, like, I mean, sure 50% of life is you know, we're gonna have negative feelings. But the other 50% is stuff that we like fret about, you know, people think of us how people are hurting our feelings, we use all this mental energy. And it's just brain drama, right? Like that part. That part starts to be reduced and dissipates. And it just doesn't hurt you anymore, right? Because it's like, when you carry it with you that thought that like I have my own back. I love myself. You become invincible. Okay, when you lean into emotional adulthood, you will start to recognize where you start wasting mental energy, like blaming others for your feelings, right, like blaming the world around you. Rape like putting on that victim cloak is Jada Pinkett Smith talks about right? And you will recognize all that wasted mental energy and you're you're going to actually start channeling that towards what you really want in life, which is to love yourself, right, which is to finally do that project you've always wanted to do, which is to create the results in your life that you've always wanted.

You will feel invincible. Trust me. It doesn't matter if your boss yells at you or someone saying hurtful things about you. Or if people tell you they don't like you, you like you. Right, you've got your own back.

And that energy, the energy that stems from that unconditional love you have for yourself, that's just going to radiate outwards. And you're going to feel good, knowing that you're living your life as your highest self or your favorite self, or as your authentic self, right? You're living your life according to your values and with the highest integrity, and it's going to feel amazing. 

Okay, so just to recap, this was kind of a long podcast, I had a lot to cover.

But just to recap, being an emotional adulthood means taking responsibility for our own thoughts and feelings. And recognizing that like Viktor Frankl said, we always get to choose our response to situations and other people, we get to choose our thoughts and feelings. We always have that choice. Now, because our own thoughts create our feelings, not other people's actions or thoughts, but it's ours, our own thoughts that create our feelings, then when we like or don't like someone that's totally based on our perceptions about that person. So if someone says something hurtful, or they don't like us, it's because of their own thoughts and feelings about us, right? We feel bad when we make their actions mean something about us, like we take it personally or we make it mean that we're not worthy enough, where we're not good enough as people, but really, it's not about us, it's about them. And it's about them and their thoughts. That being said, when we care about the other person, we do want to take into account their perspective, their perceptions, their thoughts, and ask ourselves, what part is true and what is not. We can assess these things without taking it personally or being defensive about it. Right? We can listen without judgment, just like how we listen to ourselves, we can practice coaching ourselves, and listening to our own thoughts without judgment, and said, Be curious, and we can make changes by unconditionally loving ourselves. When we're faced with strains in relationships, we can practice thoughts that will help us show up in the way that we want to and those relationships. Are we showing up with empathy and compassion? Are we being emotional adults about it? Are we filling ourselves with love, and letting that flow outward, we can practice thoughts that will generate feelings and actions that are aligned with our values and who we want to be as human beings.
Finally, being an emotional adult, is living in integrity, because it means we don't try to control other people by manipulating or coercing them. We take full responsibility for how we feel. And yes, that even includes social justice issues like economic inequality and climate change and politics. Because to make true change in society and inspire movements, it involves being emotional adult, and creating that inspired feeling within ourselves first and foremost, so that we can go into the world with energy and conviction to make that change. Dr. King, Sonia Sotomayor, Yuri Kochiyama, Grace Lee Boggs, Malcolm X.

So many, the greatest activists and leaders discipline their minds as they change the world around them. So at the end of the day, being an emotional adult, that feels good. You know, we're changing the world. We're doing amazing things. We're helping transform lives, that's being aligned with our highest self and our values. And it's always based on unconditional love for ourselves. Alright, y'all, this is a lot that I covered. This is a long podcast, but there's so much good information here. And when I first learned it, and I practice it, it just blew my mind, but everything about my life, the relationships around me have just completely taken a turn for the better and it's just like completely transformed my life. And that's why I'm just so happy to be sharing with y'all. And if any of this resonates with you, I'd love to hear from you. Email me at JannyChang1@gmail.com messaged me on Facebook, DM me, email me, please contact me. I'd love to work with you. Right now. I'm open to one on one coaching sessions. And always the first one is free and just to get a sense of what it is that we can do together on this journey and in this life together. And if there's anything else, please do reach out to me. Alright, have a wonderful week and I will talk to you soon. Bye.