Graveyard Musings: Wolvercote, Oxford (grave of JRR Tolkien - author of The Lord of the Rings)

#146. I've always loved graveyards. I'm not sure what it is about them that draws me in, but a little while ago I decided to record my musings as I wander round them.

So that's what these Graveyard Musing episodes are, just me and my phone, in a graveyard. And sometimes I go international (but not this one) and sometimes Chris joins me (like this one).

Anyway, welcome to another Graveyard Musing from me, Claire Sandys (host of The Silent Why podcast).

In this musing, Chris (husband) and I are wandering around Wolvercote Cemetery in Oxford, England - because there was one very special grave there that we wanted to see... that of the author, JRR Tolkien. 

So, come with us to hear our impromptu musings as we explore where one of the world's most famous authors is buried.

For the photos that accompany this episode, so you can visualise what we're talking about, visit: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/post/graveyard-musings-goes-to-oxford

If you want to hear more episodes like this, check out:

Graveyard Musings, Tyne Cot & Ypres, Belgium: https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7f63d7e9/graveyard-musings-tyne-cot-and-ypres-belgium

Graveyard Musings, Moorslede, Belgium: https://thesilentwhy.buzzsprout.com/1799189/episodes/15249654-graveyard-musings-moorslede-belgium

Graveyard Musings: Llanfair Talhaiarn, Wales:
https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/7e418cc4/graveyard-musings-llanfair-talhaiarn-wales

Graveyard Musings: Gloucestershire, England (Part 1 of 3):
https://www.thesilentwhy.com/podcast/episode/76b3f1f7/graveyard-musings-gloucestershire-england-part-1

Transcript

Welcome To Graveyard Musings

Claire 0:02

Hello, and welcome to The Silent Why. I'm Claire, and I'm back with another Graveyard Musings episode. I'm the host of the podcast, editor of the podcast, blog writer, social media manager, and Herman Maker. Yes, you can check out www.thehermancompany.com for more on those little grief buddies. But if you're new to us, this is a podcast that's exploring all kinds of loss and grief and whether it's possible for us to find hope in any kind of grief we might face. Now, for you faithful followers who have been around for a while, or for those of you that love to start a new podcast with episode one, you might remember that I have done a few episodes over the years called Graveyard Meetings. This is because I'm a great lover of graveyards. I love being in them, and one day I want to be permanently in one. I thoroughly enjoy wandering around, reading the names and the dates on the headstones and piecing together the stories of the people that are there to be remembered. They just fascinate me. So while I was doing this at our local graveyard a few years ago, I thought, why not record some of my thoughts and make them into a podcast episode or episodes, which I did in a three-part series. Then a while later, I took graveyard musings on the road and we went international. And I did an extended episode from Belgium when I visited the world's largest cemetery for Commonwealth soldiers, Time Cod. Then I did another one the following year with Chris in a different graveyard in Belgium, Moorslede.

Chris 1:23

And then I did one in Wales at one [welsh words].

Arriving At Tolkien’s Grave

Claire 1:29

I need my Welsh podcast guest to pronounce that one for me. And now I'm back again with Chris, and we have some impromptu chat that we did for you from a graveyard that we stopped at in Oxford recently. Because there was one very famous, important grave there that I really wanted to see. Yes, Wolvercote Cemetery in Oxford has the grave of J.R.R. Tolkien and his wife. As you'll hopefully be aware, if not, where have you been? Tolkien is the author of the Lord of the Rings books. In fact, Oxford also has another famous grave that I've seen before, but didn't do a graveyard musings for, and that's CS Lewis. So two really big, amazing authors and heroes of writing, really, are in the Oxford area. And Chris and I visited this one on our way home from Oxford just to pop in, and we just couldn't resist recording some of our thoughts as we were looking at his grave, but also wandering around the other graves that were there. So we really hope you enjoy our musings as Chris and I wander around this cemetery in Oxford. Okay, so I haven't done a graveyard musings for a while.

Chris 2:34

This is extra special.

Claire 2:35

It is. But we um we were driving past, or is literally a graveyard that contains a very, very famous man, and we were like, we have to stop and go and see this grave, and then when we got here, we're like, we have to stop and record something. So uh yeah, we are in Oxford in uh Oxfordshire in England. We're in I've forgotten the name of the Wolvercoat. Wolvercote, the cemetery. Wolvercote, not sure how you pronounce it. I don't know, yeah, but we just learned that. Wolvercote Cemetery, and we are standing in front of the grave of JRR Tolkien.

Chris 3:05

So um fairly obvious by the paraphernalia that's been left at the grave.

Claire 3:10

It is. I will post some photos of this as well, but um, yeah, there's it's um it's a fairly standard grave compared to all the others. I mean it's not the grandest by a long way, but it's clearly something that people visit and have left memorabilia. There's an actual copy of Lord of the Rings paperback.

Chris 3:26

Um from a distance it stands out because the rest of the graves are surrounded by grass, and this is surrounded by just trampled earth where grass once was, but it's clearly very heavily visited, and the grass has been worn away to just really brown dirt and mud.

Claire 3:43

That's a good spot. I hadn't really twigged that. Uh, there's some beautiful hellebores and mini daffodils that have been planted in the actual grave. It's actually it's got a stone, there's a headstone that's made of like your classic kind of bumpy looking stone, and then it's got uh like the outline of I guess the size of a coffin that comes up, and then it's there's a bit that's like recessed down. I don't know if I can describe that very well. The flowers are planted in the bit that's kind of recessed down, and that's where people are leaving all the memorabilia.

Chris 4:08

Come look at this.

Claire 4:11

Oh look! Is that a little golem? It's a Lego golem, and he's holding a ring. Oh, I'll get a photo of that as well in a minute. It's also um one of those coins that you put in the trolley token.

Letters Coins And Little Offerings

Chris 4:22

A trolley token. Well, there is quite a token. There's a lot of coins, 10 petos, 5p. There's a coin here, there's a trolley token.

Claire 4:30

There's a 20 pence pee. I don't know if that's like a um 20 pence pee. 20 pence. I don't know if that's like a thing in some countries where you leave coins on a grave. That's not a traditionally British thing.

Chris 4:42

Two P.

Claire 4:43

But then we've also got quotes. So somebody has left a piece of paper that says, even the smallest person can change the course of the future, which I assume is relating to Frodo and not Tolkien himself.

Chris 4:53

Well, how small was Tolkien?

Claire 4:55

I don't know. Um there's a letter that starts, Dear Professor Tolkien, which I've taken a photo of. Uh it says, I'm writing to simply express my appreciation towards all the influence your works have on me. Forgive me if there happens to be some syntactic error. English is not my first language. You are, however, one of the biggest reasons I am fluent in this foreign language, and that I am studying linguistics now. Yes, I'm studying linguistics in the University of Toronto, and I'm particularly interested in semantics and phonetics. The above is a bit off topic, haha. Ever since I got introduced to the Hobbits at the age of seven, the movies, spare me, the Middle Earth has been a spiritual homeland of mine. From Vaultnor to Gondolin of the first age, all the way to Rivendell and the Shire. The world and the beautiful languages you created have been such an incredible place for me to roam around and take a break when I'm tired of the reality for forever. I feel exhausted from time to time nowadays due to my own mentality as well as the whole mort mortal is currently facing. Or the whole world is currently facing. Your hope remains as you're always telling us, and the world through your works. The world is ahead, and your works are always the source of my energy for the journey. And then there's some language I can't understand.

Chris 6:19

Okay.

Claire 6:20

A sincere Chinese fan, Nora.

Chris 6:23

How sweet! But on the small branches.

Claire 6:34

Oh, there's a ring.

Chris 6:35

Yeah, there's a gold ring.

Claire 6:38

You can't have that, that's not yours.

Chris 6:39

It's not plastic.

Claire 6:40

Is it plastic? Yeah, probably coated anyway.

Chris 6:43

But it looks like it has the inscription of the ring on the outside from the films.

Claire 6:47

It's also a stone that says someone's written on in a marker pen, yet hope remains while all the company is true. Gladriel. It's also just what looks like a Santa, I'm not sure what that is.

Chris 6:57

More coins.

Claire 6:58

People have brought wrapped flowers and just placed them here. And we should mention that the gravestone it's got like a little cross at the top. And then the first thing is not his name actually, it's Edith Mary Tolkien. Luthian?

Chris 7:10

Luthian.

Weather Turns And Other Graves

Claire 7:11

1889 to 1971, and then underneath John Ronald Ruhl Tolkien Berrin, 1892 to 1973. So his wife was buried here two years before him. And in true British honour, it started to rain. I've got to take photos. The trail pass.

Chris 7:32

Just need to shelter.

Claire 7:34

Oh dear.

Chris 7:36

And the wind's just whipped up as well. Big mistake in England.

Claire 7:39

I do have to mention there are some incredible graves here, like I have never seen. Look at that one.

Chris 7:43

I know. Up Joist.

Claire 7:45

It's a man. It's a sketch of a okay. So the whole granite tombstone is about two, three times the width of a normal one. It's got cloud shape around it.

Chris 7:54

That's the size of a king-sized bed, the entire thing.

Claire 7:56

And on the back is an illustration of a man who looks like he's holding his finger up. I'm not sure which finger. It says up Joist. And underneath, in gold letters, King of the Black Hill. And there's another bench just opposite it with the same design that I think also had Joyce written on it.

Chris 8:16

Right, and the same kind of flowers. I mean, around that grave there, there's five or four statues that are about. I mean, this is a modern grave, yeah. The statues are two foot high. There's four. That's uh that's a really interesting.

Claire 8:33

The flowers are artificial and a very bright, very unnatural looking blue. And there's one, two, three, four, five, six, at least seven arrangements of those. There's one over here as well. I noticed, with bright yellow flowers. I mean, they're like a like a highlighter, yeah, kind of yellow. And that's a massive. What culture would you come?

Chris 8:50

Is that like a gypsy culture?

Claire 8:52

Well, I was just starting to think there's a cultural thing here because those ones that are bigger with all the artificial flowers, I mean, they stand out as being quite different, but they are similar.

Chris 9:01

Someone's tacked to a tree nearby a banner that says Rest in Peace, our Anthony. Uh there's a couple of dates. 87, maybe that's his birth year, 87, 2020. Died, yeah, died age 33. There's some colour pictures on this banner. One of them looks like there's a some sort of vision of Jesus standing in between two pictures of the same guy. And that's that's near the the bench. So maybe there's a lot of effort that's gone into remembering this particular character who died 33 years old.

Claire 9:36

It's a real mix, isn't it? It feels like this graveyard had lots of old graves that were quite far apart, and they've they've put new ones in between. It's very busy. It's a very full graveyard. There's um I can see a section over in the far corner with lots of windmill type colourful rainbow windmill things that are spinning and balloons, and I re I reckon that must be the children's section.

Chris 9:58

I am troubled at the moment over there because I left the washing out at home.

Claire 10:02

Oh, for Pete's sake. We're trying to do something deep and meaningful here, something that will resonate with the listeners.

Chris 10:09

We're about an hour from home, so hopefully it's dry there.

Claire 10:12

It won't do you any harm to get your your washing wet. It comes out of the washing machine wet for Pete's sake.

Chris 10:17

Yeah, but then you hang it out to dry. True.

Claire 10:19

There aren't any um I haven't seen any amazing names yet. Like when we were in that with that one in Wales, there was loads of names that we were trying to pronounce, and this feels quite normal. I'm next to Margaret May.

Chris 10:30

This one here looks like Xenon.

Claire 10:32

That's true, that does look a bit different.

Chris 10:35

Z-E-N-O-N, and then a space, and then P-A something. P-A-Z-U-S. Puzzles.

Claire 10:42

This one's sad. Margaret Mary Tilbury died at 14 years old. But also, what looks like her mother, who only died like 15 years later. So I don't know what that was. That's a sad little situation. There's a lot of couples as you'd normally expect. There's one over here that says in memory of Peter in inverted comments. Joseph E. O'Brien Eklin, the Lord bless thee and keep thee. And then it just says, also Julia.

Chris 11:13

Hello here, also.

Claire 11:15

She has no other names. There's a date, but that's it.

Chris 11:18

It's like funny that Joseph O'Brien Eklin is like, oh, just call me Peter.

Claire 11:22

Call me Peter.

Chris 11:23

Of course.

Claire 11:24

Poor Julia. She deserved a bit more than that. At least her last name.

Chris 11:29

We've got a lovely little stand there of metal.

Claire 11:31

Oh look, it's not quite as organised as the Belgium graveyard museums we did where they were all properly attached and you could take them off and put them back again. But there is a nice little stand for that. And there's and it's daffodil time of year. So there are every any grave that's got daffodils growing on it, they're growing now in full bloom. So that's really nice because you look around, there's like these big splodges of yellow, which I quite like. I just now it's sorry. I'm just gonna go have a look at this highlighter one.

Chris 11:53

Good. Is there any, you know, I don't want to think in weeks' time you're like, oh, I wish I'd used the opportunity by Tolkien's grave to repeat my favourite line from The Lord of the Rings. And then you're like I don't think there are.

Claire 12:05

There was a lovely bit which I've used on the podcast social media before, that um Gandalf says to Frodo at the point when he's about to give up. And there's a lovely, and I can't remember any of it right now. I know when I watched the film last time, I was like, I love that line.

Chris 12:22

I'm trying to think of something meaningful, but all I can hear is um what was his name? What's the creature?

Claire 12:28

Sorry, I'm dazzled by this grave we're next to Gollum.

Chris 12:31

Gollum, where he just uh he's insulting sandwise and just goes, fat hobbits. Yeah, that's not the most uh memorable yes, bright yellow, highlighter yellow artificial flowers on this. This says Joyce as well, it's the same family, isn't it?

Claire 12:50

That family, that one over there says it's the surname, and the bench says Joyce, it's a surname.

Chris 12:54

Okay, it must be a gypsy community grave.

Claire 12:58

I'm gonna I will take a photo of this. I cannot even begin to describe how much is going on on this grave. I mean the headstone itself, like we said, is about the width of a king bed. It's got a massive heart for for the husband and the wife, and over the top of that is what I think is an angel with the arms stretched out and wings over the top of the hearts. Then we've got statues of I don't know if they're men or women. I think one of each, because she's got a head covering. So I think one of each. They must be two, two and a half feet tall, and then it's all set on this massive base of like marble, and then we've got two more hearts and a giant book, all made out of marble.

Chris 13:38

You don't see words like this very much. So the the dad in inverted commas is called Christy Joyce, died in 2020. That's the same year as the young chap over there, 2020, and it says, Dear husband, father, grandfather, great, and great great grandfather.

Claire 13:57

That's impressive. You will just have husband, just just just give me some concept. I can't go that far with the rest of it. That is incredible.

Chris 14:08

Christy Joyce was a husband, a father, grandfather, great, and great-great-grandfather.

Claire 14:13

This is what I love about graveyards, they tell stories. Like already, we're like, okay, he died the same year as the 33-year-old over there. There's a story there, something's happened. It's I think it's fascinating. I mean, you think, look at all the people in this graveyard. All of these people have lived and died completely different lives.

Chris 14:31

There's um there's Irish clover on this grove. So this must be an Irish, this must be a gypsy or a traveller community.

Claire 14:38

I will get a photo.

Chris 14:39

With that sort of colour. Some poems up poems on the back, I've not heard before. Oh, little Therese of the child Jesus, please pick for me a rose from the heavenly garden and send it to me as a message of love. Please help me to always believe as you did in God's great love for me so that I might imitate your little way each day. Some words there about the blessed mother of God and Saint Anthony, maybe Catholic.

Claire 15:07

What I'm wondering is this, and I probably shouldn't be, but what does that cost?

Chris 15:10

Another look, another Joyce one there.

Claire 15:12

Yes. What's that one there? There's another big one. Is that Joyce? I can only see the back of it, but there's lots of hearts and angels again.

Chris 15:20

There must be on the outskirts of Oxfordshire somewhere, or Oxford a community yeah, Annie Joyce.

Claire 15:29

I really don't want anyone to come along and see me taking photos of these graves.

Chris 15:33

This one's got quite a few Christmas decorations on it. A bit strange.

Claire 15:36

It has. Maybe that's where that rogue Christmas toy came from on Tolkien's grave.

Chris 15:42

Yeah, any more, any more Joyce's.

Claire 15:47

Yeah, here.

Chris 15:49

Winnie Joyce, but that's a Winnie Joyce over there as well.

Claire 15:52

This is a daughter. She looks younger in the photo.

Chris 15:55

Ah, so mum was Winnie, daughter was Winnie.

Claire 15:57

2006. She doesn't look very old though, age 46, yeah. So that she wasn't very old. Well, that's all just for one, but there is a gap. I can see there's another heart there, which hasn't been filled in yet, so I assume there's a oh look at that, that's unusual. There's a hand that's got the whole like Jesus' disciples inside.

Chris 16:15

Sculpted, is it in marble? Very elaborate.

Claire 16:21

Let's have a look at this one over here that we could see.

Chris 16:24

Very decorated.

Claire 16:26

There's always something in each graveyard that captures you as being a bit different than others. In Belgium, we had the amazing organised watering can system. In Wales, it was just fun to try and pronounce all the names and see the connections. And this one, apart from the fact it's got Tolkien, definitely gonna be for these massive graves.

Chris 16:46

So yeah, 2020. He died in the same year as the the dad?

Claire 16:54

Yeah. And there's another heart again here that's empty, suggesting that there's more people that will go into this. These I mean, these graves look like they're big enough for like three or four people, but I have no idea how you would bury someone under this weight of marble. Because you'd have to rem oh no, look, there's a crease down the middle. Maybe you can just lift out a section somehow.

Chris 17:17

Yes, I mean there is there's three hearts at the back on what's like looks like the headboard of this king-sized bed. Really thick headboard in a sense. And on the left there's a heart that says in loving memory of Anthony Joshua Joyce, and on the right, the heart is empty, blank. So the right heart must be waiting for somebody, your partner, maybe, or somebody else for the and this bench behind us is the same for the same guy, as well as the banner on the tree, they're all the same man.

Claire 17:42

What's his name? Anthony Anthony Anthony Joyce. And there's a poem on inscribed in gold on the um bench. More of the um sort of clover and then underneath there's two what are they?

Chris 18:02

Birds.

Claire 18:03

Birds that look like they're eating off the floor.

Chris 18:05

Pigeons.

Claire 18:06

Well, it looks like they've got their face stuck in something. It's a very strange sort of position for a bird to be in.

Chris 18:12

I'm right by the banner now, and there's the image of Jesus in between the two pictures of the same guy with what looks like lots of rainbow colours bursting out of his heart. That's uh a particular taste, isn't it?

Claire 18:28

He is a little scary looking.

Chris 18:31

No comment.

Claire 18:33

That's a cool surname.

Chris 18:35

Deliberto.

Claire 18:36

Deliberto.

Chris 18:37

Diliberto.

Claire 18:38

Oh, there's another Diliberto there.

Chris 18:40

Andrine and Jonathan Deliberto.

Claire 18:43

Wow. What I want to know is what this place looked like when Tolkien was buried, because so many of these graves are new. It must have been really quiet. I think his parents are here as well. I think I heard them say Tolkien's parents are somewhere.

Chris 18:57

This Bimal Kumar Prodan died in 2022. A life of curiosity, teaching and learning from West Bengal to Oxford.

Claire 19:05

Oh I wonder how many Oxford professors and he's buried here Tolkien.

Chris 19:13

Are buried in this graveyard.

Closing At Tolkien With Gandalf

Claire 19:15

We have been to um many years ago, not too far away from here, is the uh graveyard where C.S. Lewis is buried. And we've been we've been there previously to see his. That's very different. It's a a much smaller little sort of churchyard sort of burial. This is a much much bigger plot, a lot busier, very different from the two, but they were obviously together in Oxford for quite a while.

Chris 19:38

So we're gonna end by the grave of Tolkien.

Claire 19:43

You can't see the other Tolkien's, can you? You're right about the grave though being all muddy round it. It's very, very well worn. I mean, there's nobody here at the moment in the graveyard at all. It's completely empty. For like a Saturday afternoon. It's not like this is somewhere that's you know you've got to fight your way to get to. It's just pretty empty.

Chris 20:03

Have you remembered a sort of memorable, meaningful quote from the I could read this bookmark. One of the I don't know what it says.

Claire 20:14

Someone's placed a wooden bookmark on his grave. It says, There flowered a white tree, and that was for Gondor. But seven stars were about it, and the stars flamed in the sunlight, for they were wrought of gems by Arwen, daughter of Elrond. Wasn't quite the sort of thing I thought it was gonna be. I'm sure people who love Lord of the Rings love that.

Chris 20:36

And I will I'll quote Gimli with Aragorn when they're in battle outside his Helm's Deep.

Claire 20:44

I know what you're gonna say. It's not gonna be even slightly appropriate.

Chris 20:48

Toss me! Well until you think of something more meaningful to say.

Claire 20:55

Well, I can read that if you want me to read it, I can read what Gandalf says.

Chris 21:00

Okay, you look for something more meaningful while you're doing that. This is the Silent Way podcast. Find out more on thesilentway.com about who we are. And uh, oh, as we'd like to finish with a quote of some of our episodes. You've now found, haven't you, the one you're looking for? Okay. So something more meaningful and more appropriate to end this unexpected but rather lovely graveyard musings.

Claire 21:23

Yeah, this is from the Fellowship of the Ring, and it's when Frodo really wants to give up on the mission that he's on, and he's talking to Gandalf. And Frodo says, I wish it need not have happened in my time. So do I, said Gandalf. And so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.