YO! WELCOME BACK TO The Shine On Mama podcast! I’m Your host Tanya Malcolm.
Today is a BIG DAY! At the time of this recording! My youngest son is trying out for the Kootenay Zone BC Summer Games Basketball Team! Ayyyyyeee!
I love tryout season because there is SO much opportunity for GROWTH. AND that could be an episode of it’s own and you know this podcast is ALL about the Mama Magic SO WE’LL HAVE TO SAVE THAT ONE FOR ANOTHER TIME
Now, I fell asleep on y’all since episode 10 that came out in JANUARY! So let me give you a little reminder about what the Mama Magic is!
It’s your mama intuition girl. And it’s born from your unconditional love for your child, your unlimited patience for your child and your powerful belief in your child’s infinite potential.
NOW don’t you wish you had all that same magic for yourself!? Connecting to your Mama Magic means you’re curious about those little sparks of KNOWING you feel every now and then when a message intended for your child resonates with what you need!
The most powerful personal growth tool we have as mother’s when we’re feeling stuck is to ask ourselves “what would I tell my kid right now!?”
So if you’re listening to this walking your infant or toddler in a stroller thinking, the only thing I tell my baby is “cute baby talk” or “pleading whispers to please sleep” you can still use this tool. Just imagine your child is grown, and in the same circumstance as you…what would you say, what’s the advice? Whew! Those answers are always fire!
Olay before we get into today’s episode you know we have to set the vibe! Can you say road trip!? I don’t know if you guys like this part of the podcast ( but I’m literally sitting on the floor in my basement workspace, by myself, praying my kids don’t wake up before this recording is finished) and so I love setting the vibe and imagining we’re in the same space having these heart to hearts like sisters!
and since I’m about to drive 400 kilometres in the next day and a half to make this tryout happen for my son I feel like a sisterhood roadtrip vibe is exactly what I need!
You know we need a fire playlist and when I’m getting ready for something big like a tryout you better cue my favourite hype song Still Dre.
oh I have an idea. Pause now hit up my DMs on instagram @tanyamalcolm and tell me what song you’re adding to our summer roadtrip playlist and I’ll add everyones songs into a playlist for us and share it in our free Shine On Mama Listeners community! But don’t go getting your INSTA scroll on and forget to come back and finish this episode! Okay let’s get into it!
It all starts with an email from my son’s basketball coach. He’s putting together a BC Summer Games Team! Now in that very moment I imagine EVERYTHING. My son in his Team BC Jersey, our rural BC zone turning up showing out at this tournament and ALL the team love vibes for my son and I’m just like YAASSSSSS! LET’S GO! I’m literally adjusting the family budget in my mind to accommodate for all the travel, hotels, new shoes! I’m ALL IN!
I spin around in my office chair and blurt out “Winston’s got an invite to try out for BC Summer Games! My man, who’s sitting on the couch enjoying his day off and his morning coffee snickering at tiktoks oblivious to the plan I’ve just laid out in my head in the last 90 seconds, looks up at me, recognizes the look on my face that signals - she’s got an idea - and calmly says “does Winston want to try out for the BC Summer Games?”
“I don’t know yet, but can you book some gym time for us, and make sure the basketballs aren’t flat, and we’re going to have to adjust the budget, and maybe someone from rec ball can help him train, he’ll learn so much more from someone other than me.”
Dan sips his coffee.
I already know what he’s thinking.
‘Here she goes again’
Flash back to 2018 when I dropped 2 grand on flights to vancouver, a few days before the Team BC U15 tryout - even though Dan wasn’t in support of that investment - to see how our eldest son stood up to the top 200 9th and 10th graders in the province.
I catch his vibe and I recognize what’s happening. I’m projecting all my hoop dreams on to my kids. It’s the ultimate athletic mama challenge. So I lower my frequency and say.
Let’s see what Winston says.
3pm could not come faster! Winston barley has one foot in the car at pick-up and I’m telling him about his invitation to try out. Yeah he says some kids at school were talking about it. Cool right!? So do you want to try out!?
He reaches across his chest for his seatbelt, and says sure!
In that moment, my whole vibe shrinks. I don’t have any words. As he’s clipping in his buckle he looks at me and says “what’s wrong!?”
Nothing. It’s just - sure isn’t the right answer. Sure isn’t enough.
He raises an eyebrow in confusion.
I kind of needed to hear a FULL BODY YES!
What?! So let me fil you guys in It’s a term I learned from one of my very first mentors Karen Brody of Daring to Rest, who’s going to be on the podcast soon! It’s the kind of yes that you feel everywhere. The kind of yes that closes the gap between your heart and your brain. Its a yes from your soul.
This is the north star of yeses!
If you can build a life that follows those full body yeses, then you will build an incredible life.
But back to the mini, van.
I try to explain this concept to Winston, and he says “YES mom, I really want to try out. I want this!”
So we did all the the things I dreamed up that day I found out about the try-out. We booked gym time, trained, got the hoop up on the street, watched a ton of march madness and every
Moment in MY mind was in preparation for this tryout. In my fitness community I have a slogan - ‘winners train’ For me there is nothing worse than showing up to an athletic event and not being prepared to perform at your best.
And now here we are the day of the tryout and I just kind of know. It wasn’t a full body yes for Winston, it was a sure. You can’t fake a full body yes!
And that was it. The Mama Magic.
When an opportunity is presented to you - and you don’t feel that FULL BODY yes, it’s a no.
Don’t waste any time or energy pursuing opportunities that don’t serve your vision. You already KNOW when something isn’t right for you. But sometimes instead of just trusting your intuition, you say sure.
Now don’t get me wrong - I have no doubt that my son truly did WANT to be on that team. BUT had he had a FULL BODY YES from the moment he heard about the opportunity he would have been compelled to do the work required to show up to that try out prepared to perform at his best. That is always the question when work is required to realise a vision. WHAT COMPELS YOU?!
When you feel that Full body yes, you take action. You do not hesitate because the yes is SO in alignment with what you see for yourself you cannot settle your motivation to go for it.
Now what’s really interesting is that, just like you can’t fake a full body yes, you can’t deny one either. However, most of us mamas are SO conditioned to ignore our intuition that we’ve found a way to suppress those yeses, and I’m here today to tell you to STOP freaking doing that.
What is it about hiding our excitement for an opportunity that we find so necessary!? What if we raised our hand everytime we felt a full body yes and claimed it for ourselves the moment we knew it was for us!
It is fear. Fear of out shining those around us, fear that our intuition will misguide us, and fear of making a mistake. But you know what? I would rather act on a FULL BODY YES that lead me in the wrong direction and FIND OUT that that thing I thought FOR SURE was for me, isn’t for me, and fail forward with this amazing new lesson , than never call my shot, never take my leap, never grow and expand my potential because I was afraid of being wrong.
E ya la Vanzint says The freedom from making a decision can only come after we have made the decision
Do you see how in both circumstances, faking a full body yes, or denying a full body yes - we act only out of fear and doubt. By behaving this way we’re only denying ourselves access to our true nature. We’re blindfolding our intuition, and day by day we’re becoming more lost.
We only have this one beautiful life, so please don’t drain your life energy on opportunities you already know aren’t going to serve you. And please stop denying yourself the freedom and vitality that claiming what you KNOW is meant for you, will bring you.
If it’s not a FULL BODY YES, it’s a no.
You’re absolutely meant for more!
So que up that hype song playlist and Shine ON Mama!