Why you're not already REWNEWING your life.

There is a reason you are already not choosing to make things better in your life.

It's called resistance.
 
There are a few different ways that resistance can show up. When we allow the patterns of resistance to exist, we are blocking ourselves from creating the lives we actually want.

We are blocking ourselves from better relationships with others and ourselves.

In this episode, I'm giving two examples of why we choose to resist a renewal.

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Transcript

Hi, I am Kristy Ballard Falany. I am a certified life coach who found herself at 42 freshly divorced kids off to college, and having never dated in my adult life, I was starting in the middle. If you haven't yet hit start on your middle time in life. Let's do it together. Let the journey begin.

You are listening to start in the middle, episode 101. Hello, my friends. So amazing to be back with you today. You know that last week was the hundredth episode of Start In the Middle, and this is such a huge source of excitement for me if you did not get the opportunity to listen to episode 100. I encourage you to head back over and listen to that before you listen to today's episode, because today's episode is the next in the lineup, and it will definitely make more sense to you if you head back over and listen to episode 101st.

So if you do not know me, I wanna start with a question today. So my question for you, and my assumption is that you're probably listening to this with earbuds by yourself, so you can feel free to answer out loud, but you don't have to. But I wanna ask you, are you where you thought you would be in life like, Are you living the life of your dreams, the life that you thought you would be living?

Because a lot of times when I ask people that question, their answer is no. And inevitably regret in immediately sets in. And so this is where I come in. I help women take control of their lives. I help them to raise the bar on the things that they have been allowing and standing for. I help them to create a life that they love.

And so I am Kristi Falany. I am your host. I am a certified trauma-informed life coach. And if this sounds like you, Then you're an amazing company today because I was once there. I was once exactly where you are thinking that, man, this isn't what I thought life would be. And I am on the other side of that.

And this is exactly why I love helping women who are just like you, who are human, just like me, and who are going through all of these things. So last week on the podcast, and again, this is why it's a good idea to head back over there. I shared with you the concept of renewal. Now, remember that I told you that a renewal is not the same as a reset, because when you reset something, it means that you tear it down.

Oh my goodness. I got so excited with that. I slapped my desk. A reset means that you tear it down and that you start from scratch and you do things differently. Whereas as a renewal means that there's been some type of interruption, you know, like a halt in production and you're ready to resume again.

For me, it means just that, that, yes, there has been an interruption. Um, I talked before about the month of May just being so, so busy that it felt like an interruption in my day-to-day life. It felt like an interruption of the things that I am. Trying to accomplish in my life the goals that I have set for myself.

It felt like an interruption in the way that I do things in my business, and it felt like an interruption, um, in just my own personal self self-care, and also noticing an interruption in my marriage. And so I'm calling for a renewal. I'm ready to begin again doing all of the same things, but with a greater commitment and a greater understanding, and a greater passion to make all of those things better.

So this summer, I am committing to doing just that in those three areas of my life, my business, my marriage, and with myself. So some of this I plan to share with you because I'm confident that as a hu, as hu beings, we all go through the same things, the same type of things. And I firmly believe that when we stick together, There is so much more that we are able to learn from each other, and this is why I share so much of myself on my podcast.

This is why I share so much of my journey because it's important to me that you know that you are not alone on this journey and that you don't have to do life by yourself. So today I want to talk to you about why we don't renew and renew often the things that we want to make better in our lives. Are you ready for this?

It's a little sneaky thing called resistance, and resistance is something that we feel. In our body, it's like a nagging little heavy feeling that often says, I just don't feel like it, or some form of that. Okay. Resistance. Resistance allows us to hold out against renewal because renewal, quite frankly, might feel uncomfortable.

Y'all, let's just get real here. If you're calling for re for a renewal in some area in your life, my hope is that you are not choosing to stick with status quo. My hope is that you're coming back at it bigger, better, stronger, with a new sense of urgency and commitment. And that means that, yes. It's going to get uncomfortable.

If it weren't going to get uncomfortable, you would have already done it. I promise I'm a human. I know we don't want to do uncomfortable, and that's why we resist. That's why we resist renewal in our lives. So let me talk to you about a few ways that resistance shows up. Resistance can look like pride. Of course, pride is going to throw up some resistance because when you are being prideful, you are not even acknowledging that a renewal needs to happen.

So let me tell you what the modern definition of pride is. That comes from the dictionary.com. Okay? So it says that it is a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority. So this is exactly how. It gets in our way. It blocks our ability to treat others with gentleness, humility, compassion and grace.

Where it shows up for me admittedly, is in my own in independence. And my closest relationships, and maybe it does for the other people that you are in relationships to, or maybe you see it in yourself. And so I wanna give you a couple of examples where I have noticed this in my own relationship. So last night, just as an example, um, my husband and I were talking about the age.

Of animals. Okay. And, and specifically of our dog, Frank, you know, and I had always seen in the doctor's office, um, you know, that. Animals age more rapidly than humans do. Okay? And there's specific age range for cats and a specific age range for dogs. And so we had a little bit of a debate on what that age range was, and I didn't wanna back down and he didn't wanna back down.

And so what ended up happening is that we found that we really weren't. Treating each other with grace because we were so prideful in wanting to prove that we were not wrong, okay? Each of us was acting in a prideful manner where I knew that this is what my experience had been, and this is what I had seen, and this is what I knew to be right, and I was trying to prove that to him.

And the same thing was happening with him in that he was trying to prove himself right as well. And so this is how being prideful can cause us a disconnect in our relationship. It causes us to not treat each other with grace and with humility and with gentleness. And so I've been thinking seriously, okay, not so seriously about tattooing that word grace on my forearm.

And just using it as a reminder that when I notice that pride is popping up for me, using it as a reminder to see others through the lens that God sees me. Okay. And so I just kind of like jokingly say that, you know, I would love to tattoo this on the inside of my arm so that I can just remind myself that we are called to be gentle.

We are called to be humble. We're called to treat each other with passion, and so this is one of the renewals that I want to make within my own relationship. Okay, so another way that resistance tends to show up. Is in fear and our fear of the unknown. The fear that the outcome of something is completely out of our control, or the fear that whatever it is that we're trying to renew won't turn out the way that we expected it to.

So we fall into. Complacency. Remember last week I, um, told you that oftentimes we walk through life with that thought of, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. But if it ain't broke, don't fix. It means that you are not constantly making it better or finding ways to make it better. And this is what complacency looks like.

It's how we end up getting stuck in a job that we no longer love. It's how our relationships stay stagnant. And you wake up one day and discover that y'all make really great roommates. It's how you decide. Screw it, I'm gonna have the cookie and maybe the entire sleeve. Y'all know what I'm talking about.

You know about those dang cookie pushers, you know the ones that I'm talking about. So this is how resistance shows up in our lives and keeps us from renewing the areas of our lives that we truly want. So we're talking about pride. Holding us back from renewing the areas that we truly want to, um, love about our lives, and we want to create growth in, we're talking about fear holding us back and keeping us captive in same old, same old, and complacency.

And if it's not broke, don't fix it. But y'all, here's the truth. You have to be the example in your life. You have to be the change that you want to see in others. And I promise you, once you start making these little shifts, the people around you are going to notice. They're going to see you responding differently than you would have before.

It's going to be become contagious. They don't want to be the one that's stuck in those old patterns over there all by themselves. They're going to want to step up their game too. You'll start to see how you can be the catalyst for change in all of the humans that you encounter if you decide to allow this renewal to take on a renewal of every facet of your life and how you show up as a human being in the world.

And so what I wanna offer you is, Meet up with me again here next week, because next week I'm gonna tell you exactly how we're gonna do all of this together. Now that you know how resistance can show up as being either prideful or um, showing up as fear, you're going to be more aware of it and how you're using it against the progress that you actually want to make.

You're gonna see just how it keeps you from being your true. Authentic self. And next week I'm gonna talk to you about how we're going to squash resistance. So if you have questions about today's episode, if you have questions about how resistance may be showing up in your life and how it is keeping you from creating a renewal from creating.

A recommitment to a goal from creating a recommitment to your relationships com, a recommitment towards yourself, or you just don't want to wait until next week to learn more. I encourage you to reach out to me and let's hang out on a Zoom call. I would love the opportunity to give you a free one-on-one session and show you exactly how this can work in your life, because I promise you, it's never too late, and now is the perfect time to stop letting your life just pass you by.

So connect with me@kristineycoaching.com. That's K R I S T I F as in Frank, A L A N y.com. Head on over to my website. Click on the button at the top right hand corner. Take my free quiz. It'll help you to identify exactly where your mindset is right now, and once you take that quiz, you get your results immediately along with some additional tips to today's podcast that you can start incorporating in your life.

Today. So you guys again meet with me here again next week, and I'm gonna tell you the how. All right. Have a great week. Who is your life coach? I would love the opportunity to work with you as you are rediscovering the woman you were meant to be. Visit kristy ballard falany.com for more information on how we can work together to ignite that passionate, enthusiastic woman who may have been tucked away for.

Some time, let's start in the middle together.

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