Gratitude and Passion this Holiday Season

Unwrap the gift of prioritizing your happiness this season, choosing what truly serves you.

When making choices this holiday season, I encourage you to like the reasons that you are making your choices. If you doing same ol same ol, because it's what you've always done and your just not feeling the joy..........intentionally look for the joy you are seeking. There are always ways to reframe any circumstance and find joy.

This one is short and sweet and meant to give you big impact in how you show up in a way that feels good to you.

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Transcript

Kristi: 0:01

Hi, I am Kristy Ballard Fellini. I am a certified life coach who found herself at 42, freshly divorced kids off to college and having never dated in my adult life. I was starting in the middle. If you haven't yet hit, start on your middle time in life, let's do it together. Let the journey begin. Hello, my friends, I hope that you are having a fabulous day today. Thank you for tuning in to Start in the Middle. I am Kristy Fellini. I am your host and I am also a certified life coach.

Kristi: 0:50

In fact, I help midlife women stop letting life just pass them by. I help them to recreate what it is that they want in their lives. You know what that means. That means rediscovering who you were meant to be at this point in your life. There are so many of us who are going through so many life changes at midlife. Sometimes we are not even sure how to navigate them. Sometimes we don't understand that our relationships are naturally supposed to change. Sometimes we just don't really know what's in store for us in the next season. We oftentimes find ourselves stuck. We often find ourselves stagnant in where our life is heading and in the unknown of where our life is heading. This is exactly what I help my clients do. I help them to rediscover who it was that they were meant to be, to reignite maybe some old passions, maybe some things that you have loved about yourself in the past, but you've kind of let them go by the wayside. I hope that you'll find this podcast to offer you some encouragement in those areas of your life.

Kristi: 2:22

This is Thanksgiving week. I want to keep this one kind of short because I know that life gets busy. I know for myself that this week is going to get pretty busy with putting together all of the holiday plans. If you do not celebrate Thanksgiving, or if you are not in the States and don't celebrate Thanksgiving, I encourage you. The message that I have for you today is universal, the message that I have to encourage you. You can apply this to any area of your life. It's not just about Thanksgiving.

Kristi: 3:14

Something that I noticed within myself is that during this time of the year, there's just a lot going on. You know. There's a lot of invites, a lot of get togethers. In fact, yesterday I went to book club get together and we did it kind of friends giving style, where we each prepared a dish that we would normally prepare for a standard Thanksgiving meal, and so we got together and we talked about this particular book that we read over the last month, and so lots and lots of get togethers coming about over the next couple of months and so, again, life gets hectic.

Kristi: 4:08

But something that I wanted to bring to light is that you have the power to choose what it is that you want to bring into your life. In fact, just yesterday I had asked an acquaintance I was actually serving at church and I had asked you know, another person that was serving. I said, hey, what do you guys got going on for the for the Thanksgiving holiday and I could just see her just kind of like you could just see in her body just kind of deflate and kind of just turn inward. And she started to, you know, tell me about the plans. And just by the way that she was describing the plan, I could tell already that her energy for doing it just wasn't there, that it just really really sounded like something that I really would not even enjoy doing, and so I just kind of thought to myself that why do we do that?

Kristi: 5:19

You know, why do we choose things that we really don't want for ourselves? And I know that part of that is, you know, the whole quote unquote tradition, the things that we have been doing for so long, the patterns that we have been, we have been operating with for so long, and that we just go ahead and we do it. We just go ahead and say, well, I'll just continue to do that, even though it's no longer bringing you and serving you in a way that helps you to feel joyful and abundant. Another reason that we tend to do that is because of the expectations, you know, that other people place on us or that other people have for us, and we feel that sense of expectation. And so, rather than listening to what we authentically want for ourselves, we go ahead and we follow through with that expectation. And if you're not familiar with the term, it's actually called people pleasing right, we do things even though we don't necessarily want to do them, because we don't want to let other people down. And so If this is you, if this, either of these, if this is you that you have a hard time saying no to other people, you don't want to let them down, or this is just something that you've always done and so you've chose it again.

Kristi: 6:54

I want you to understand that it's okay that you don't have to face this choice that you've made with regret, with disappointment, with dissatisfaction. If this is a choice that you've made, you can conscientiously choose to see the good in it. Right, and I really want you to be careful about the thoughts that you're thinking about it and the way that you talk about it, because if you've already made the choice and you've decided that you're going to follow through, I would encourage you to reframe and flip the script. Find something that you do enjoy about it. Perhaps it's that you really enjoy getting together with that specific group of people, right? Because when you are continuously speaking negativity into it, you are feeling the negativity. When you are having thoughts of negativity around a choice that you've already made, then you are naturally going to create that feeling of negativity around the choice that you've already made. And so, again, if it's a choice that you've already made, then make the choice to find the good in it, make the choice to find the positive in it.

Kristi: 8:32

Help yourself to create a mindset of abundance and of joy versus the negativity, versus finding all of the things wrong with the choice that you've made, versus finding the parts of it that you are not going to enjoy. Because I promise you, when you purposely seek joy and you purposely speak positivity into something and you are looking for it, I promise you you're going to find it, because what you focus on is what you get. Let me say that again what you focus on is what you get, and so, during this time of Thanksgiving, I would encourage you, rather than choosing negativity, which inevitably leads to anxiousness, find the things that you can be grateful in. In fact, have you ever heard of that? Have you ever heard that gratefulness is actually the antithesis of anxiousness? And gratefulness actually feels so much lighter, it feels so much more expansive, it feels so much more hopeful, whereas anxiousness and regret feels heavy, it feels almost kind of suffocating, and it really is one of those feelings that we feel alone, because no one else is going to feel that anxiousness that you do viscerally in your body. And so choosing to be grateful versus choosing negativity is going to help open up the possibility for the choice that you've already made. It's going to help you to feel lighter, to help you to feel more hopeful during that situation that you've already created for yourself.

Kristi: 11:05

All right, and so if you have already made a choice of how you plan to spend your holiday season. I encourage you to move into that choice with hope, with peace, with abundance. Create what it is that you want for yourself. Focus on all of the positivity that you actually do want around that situation. And, for those of you who have made a choice that feels expansive, that feels hopeful, that feels joyful, I congratulate you and I just encourage you to continue to look for all of those things in the situation that you are creating for yourself. All right, so hands down. I hope that you have an amazing holiday season. I hope that this week, that you are taking care of yourself, that you are being mindful of the limits that you want to place on yourself, on your energy, and I just hope that this week is filled with joy, with thanksgiving, with gratitude for all of the many blessings that you do have in your life.

Kristi: 12:26

All right, so, again, if you have just stumbled upon this podcast, again I am Kristi Fellaney and I encourage you to check out my website, kristifallaneycoachingcom. When you access my website, you will have the opportunity to take my free quiz why Is Midlife so Hard? Inside this quiz, you will get your results immediately, but you'll also get actionable steps that you can start implementing today, to start creating a mindset that helps you to create a life that you actually love. It's going to help you find those areas in your thinking that may be holding you back from a life that you really, really, truly want for yourself. Also, I would encourage you, if you have enjoyed this short and sweet podcast, please do me the favor and go back and rate and leave me a review.

Kristi: 13:34

Putting together this podcast does take time and effort, and my mission is to help every midlife woman create a life of abundance that they want, and so knowing more about the types of podcasts that you enjoy, the information that you find helpful, will help me to continue to do that. Also, I would love to connect with you through social media, so please reach out to me either through Instagram or Facebook, because I want to connect with you. All right, you guys, I hope that you have an amazing week and I will talk to you soon. Who is your life coach? I would love the opportunity to work with you as you are rediscovering the woman you were meant to be. Visit Christyballardfellaneycom for more information on how we can work together to ignite that passionate, enthusiastic woman who may have been tucked away for some time. Let's start in the middle together.