Have you ever felt really confused about what to do in life? Well, at 42, I felt that way too. Hi, I'm Kristi Ballard Falany, and I want to tell you about my journey through a tough time when my parents decided not to be married anymore. It was a bit like the movie "It's Complicated" with Meryl Streep. In the first part of our talk, we'll go through the ups and downs of finding hope and starting a new life. We'll also talk about how things changed with my kids and how having someone to help, like a coach, made a big difference.
But the story doesn't stop there! Making your life better often begins with changing how you think about things. In the second part, I'll talk about this thing called a "mindset." As a coach, I've seen how important it is. I want to help you have a better, more exciting life. We'll chat about getting rid of old ways of thinking, and I'll tell you about a fun quiz on my website that can help you see how you think. Let's make sure we're living our best lives, full of things we love to do. Come listen and be part of this big change with me!
Connect with me: Kristi Falany Coaching.com
Instagram: The _MidlifeRediscovery_Coach
Facebook: Kristi Falany Coaching
Thanks for listening. Follow me in Facebook and Instagram.
Have you ever felt really confused about what to do in life? Well, at 42, I felt that way too. Hi, I'm Kristi Ballard Falany, and I want to tell you about my journey through a tough time when my parents decided not to be married anymore. It was a bit like the movie "It's Complicated" with Meryl Streep. In the first part of our talk, we'll go through the ups and downs of finding hope and starting a new life. We'll also talk about how things changed with my kids and how having someone to help, like a coach, made a big difference.
But the story doesn't stop there! Making your life better often begins with changing how you think about things. In the second part, I'll talk about this thing called a "mindset." As a coach, I've seen how important it is. I want to help you have a better, more exciting life. We'll chat about getting rid of old ways of thinking, and I'll tell you about a fun quiz on my website that can help you see how you think. Let's make sure we're living our best lives, full of things we love to do. Come listen and be part of this big change with me!
Connect with me: Kristi Falany Coaching.com
Instagram: The _MidlifeRediscovery_Coach
Facebook: Kristi Falany Coaching
Thanks for listening. Follow me in Facebook and Instagram.
You want to know what my favorite movie was right after I got divorced and really was my favorite movie for quite a long time as I was processing through my divorce. It is that movie with Meryl Streep, called it's Complicated. Stay tuned and I'm going to tell you why. Hi, I am Kristi Ballard Fellini. I am a certified life coach who found herself at 42, freshly divorced kids off to college and having never dated in my adult life, I was starting in the middle. If you haven't yet hit start on your middle time in life, let's do it together. Let the journey begin. Hello, my friends, and welcome back to the podcast. I am super excited that you are here. It is a fabulous day down here in South Texas and I hope that it is a fabulous day where you are as well.
Speaker 1:Today I am just doing some work, just brainstorming and just working here in my office and I'm working on content and just really thinking about the things that we go through in midlife and how our life changes so much. Given that I did get a divorce after 21 years of marriage, that really is the biggest life change that always just seems to come to mind when I am thinking about the different struggles that we go through in midlife, I guess just simply because that was the biggest life change. I feel like that actually supersedes menopause, because I was married for so long and the majority of my adulthood was around this relationship. The majority of me maturing and coming into the woman that I am today was around that 21 year relationship. It makes total sense as to why, whenever I am thinking about midlife changes, it makes total sense as to why that would be the one thing that just kind of does pop into my mind, as I mentioned at the top of the podcast, that there was one specific movie that really resonated with me that I really love, that I always came back to. It was the movie called it's complicated and the main character was meryl street.
Speaker 1:Now, I don't know about you, but movies that I really get into and I really love Are movies that I could kind of see myself in. You know, I could resonate with the character and I could see possibilities in, and what I love about her character was the fact that she seemed like she just had it all together right. But as you go through the movie you can kind of tell that she doesn't really have it all together right. She has the same worries, the same doubts, the same fears that all of us do. Okay, remember, she was worried about her appearance because, you know, she was thinking that she had this excess skin, right, so she was worried about her appearance. She was also, you know, drawn into how she was showing up in her relationships with her children and also how she was showing up in as being a business owner, having her own business and creating this new life for herself. And so this is exactly why this character totally resonated with me, right, because I was able to see some light at the end of the tunnel when I was in this transition phase.
Speaker 1:Of course, it was a phase of feeling lonely, feeling lost and feeling stuck. You heard my intro empty nest happened at the same exact time that this divorce took place. So I was feeling all of these things, you know, feeling like that mom who is no longer relevant in her kids lives because they are off doing their own things, they are not needing my input as much as they did when they were in my home and when they were younger, and so I was feeling a disconnect in my relationship with them. And then, of course, you know, I was feeling completely disconnected In my marriage because, of course, it was dissolved and it was and it was no longer in place, and so all of these feelings that were going on. But when I could just sit down and let all of that go and really just watch this movie, I felt a sense of hope. I felt a sense of yes, there is more for me after this marriage. There is more that I can create in my life, and so that's definitely something that I want to offer you today is that even in our lowest times in life, there is always still hope.
Speaker 1:When we are feeling lonely in our situation, when we are at a disconnect in our relationships and we're feeling stuck, we are feeling like we have no relevancy in these ongoing relationships and we just feel like our life is without purpose, without direction, there is Still hope. And this is exactly what I do as a coach. I help midlife women to understand that you don't have to stay In that season of life. This doesn't mean that you're at the finish line. This doesn't mean that your life has passed you by, because there is still so much more for you to create. There's still so much more lot, life and abundance and joy that you can still have.
Speaker 1:So when you're able to utilize something like a movie or a conversation with a friend or reaching out to a coach, and you're able to see that, yes, there is some hope in your next chapter, then you're able to understand that there are tools that you can put into place that is going to help you move to that next chapter of your life. Because, as most of you know, if you've been following me for any amount of time, I am remarried. I have reestablished a new set of values and new sense, a new set of boundaries, a realization that our relationship with our children is supposed to change, and therefore, I am able to go along with those changes and I'm able to decide, you know, what I want the hope and the relationships to look like, based off of mutual understanding between me and my kiddos. And so when you're able to utilize these Smaller glimpses of hope, such as and, yes, I know a movie is fictional, but there are other people that we can look to where they have made positive changes, they have changed the trajectory of their life, they have moved on From being in a state of being stuck, then, yes, this realization does come to life, we are able to resonate with their story and we're able to understand that, yes, there is still hope and there still is an opportunity to move on.
Speaker 1:And maybe the season that you're going through is not a divorce, you know. Maybe it's that you understand that you're aging and the physical effects that it is having on the things that you were maybe at one point able to do that you're not, you're no longer able to do. Maybe it's just the lack of time for self care. Maybe you are feeling like you know there's no balance between work and between life at home and between you know dealing with, maybe, children that you still have at home, the high school age kiddos that are involved in all of the things you know. Maybe it's a feeling of you know being unfulfilled with the trajectory of your life. Maybe you're having that thought process of this isn't what I thought life would be at this point, and so all of these are completely normal scenarios that we do go through during midlife, and this is the exact time for you to really start honing into your self care and really discovering what that looks like, and maybe new ways and new things that you need to incorporate into your life in order to help you feel like your life has more balance, has more purpose, and really to see that light into the dot desires that you actually want for your life, such as improved emotional and mental well being, quality time with friends and family.
Speaker 1:Maybe you're at the point where you want to get out and explore and you just don't know how to go about doing these things and achieving these things that you actually want for your life, and so I just want to encourage you that Life coaching can help you with all of those things, because when you break this down to the simplest form, every single one of these things comes down to your mind set, comes down to what you are thinking is possible for yourself and the stories that you have been telling yourself all this time. Like that lifestyle just isn't for me. I don't have the time to incorporate new things for myself in my life. I have to take care of everyone else, and this is why I don't have time for myself. All of these things are a mindset and they are old patterns that we have been operating in for far too long. We've been doing these patterns all this time that we don't even see it as just being a pattern. We don't see it as a pattern that can be broken, that can be re wired in our brain, that can be adjusted to where it actually fits Into the life that we truly want for ourselves, and so coaching can absolutely help you to do this.
Speaker 1:I know for me that coaching has changed my life. I did not actually hire my first coach until after I was married my second time around. I did not hire my first coach until I was at a point in my life where I yes, I was married. It was a brand new marriage, but after being married to the same person for 21 years and knowing their thought patterns, knowing their habits, knowing how they conducted themselves, it's completely different being in your late 40s and trying to figure out someone new, trying to figure out what a different relationship looks like. And so once I hired my first coach, I mean, my goodness, the way that I thought about myself has completely changed.
Speaker 1:The way that I show up in this new relationship has completely changed, because I know that I am the only person that I can control. I am the only person that can get into the thoughts that I'm having in my mind that create who I am in my relationship. I am the only person that can control my happiness, and it's up to me to control my happiness. It's up to me to decide what I want my life to look like. It's up to me to decide what I want my relationships to look like, and so oftentimes we don't think about this right. We just operate on the normal operating system that we have been utilizing, year after year after year, pattern after pattern after pattern, and we don't really get into the nitty gritty of what is actually going on in our minds and the thoughts and the patterns that we've been operating on. That actually could be harmful to us rather than helpful to us. And so this is exactly what coaching looks like, and so I want to offer to you.
Speaker 1:If you are feeling disconnected in any of your relationships, if you're feeling disconnected with yourself, meaning you don't feel good about where you are at in life, you don't feel good about who you physically are, who you mentally are, you don't feel good about the trajectory of where your life is going, I would encourage you to look into coaching, and there are a variety of different coaches out there. There are coaches to help you with your finances, coaches to help you with your relationships with your children, coaches to help you with your health to start feeling healthier. And then there are coaches that work with midlife changes, the changes that naturally occur in our brains, in our minds, in our relationships. And this is exactly what I do, because I don't want any woman to walk around feeling like the best part of their life has already happened. I don't want any woman to walk around without a sense of hope of how their life could be better. I don't want any woman to feel stuck in the mindset that they currently have. I want them to have a growth mindset, to be excited about change, to be excited about possibilities, to be excited about rediscovering who it is that they are actually supposed to be at this point in their life, versus the old stories that they have been living by all this time. So, hey, if this sounds like you, if this resonates with you, I hope that you will reach out to me at christy full any coaching dot com. K? R I s t I f as in frank a l a n y coaching dot com.
Speaker 1:When you visit my website, there's also a free quiz that you can take.
Speaker 1:That's gonna help you discover what sort of mindset that you're currently in. Okay, 10 questions, super, super easy. You get your results back right away, but you also get some tangible tools and skills that you can start working on today to help you to begin to change that mindset. Because, again, I want you to understand that there is more possibility, more life for you to be living, and this can't be done if you're staying in an old, stagnant mindset of being stuck, feeling confused about your future, feeling lonely in the season, in the stage that you're currently in. None of these things are going to help you propel your life forward into what you actually wanted to be.
Speaker 1:Alright. So, guys, I hope that you are having a fabulous week and I look forward to hearing from you soon. I'll take care who is your life coach? I would love the opportunity to work with you as you are rediscovering the woman you were meant to be. Visit christie ballard, fill any dot com for more information on how we can work together to ignite that passionate, enthusiastic woman who may have been tucked away for some time. Let's start in the middle together.