Getting Excited Again: Finding Your Dream Life Adventure

The month of December I am sharing with you my favorite podcasts from the past. Enjoy this one!!
Have you ever wondered if the life you're living is the dream you wanted? I've thought about that a lot, and in today's talk, we're going to tackle it. We'll talk about breaking through the things that make us too proud to change, so we can get the fresh start we really want. I'll share about making my businesses exciting again, taking care of my marriage, and looking after myself. It's not just a chat; it's an invite for you to join me in trying to have a life full of love and happiness.

If you feel like life is just passing by, this is your signal to take control. Today, we talk about how coaching sessions can help you find your passions again. Before we meet next time to talk about 'how' to do this, I want you to visit my website. There, you can take a quiz to see how you think and get tips personalized for you. It's the start of becoming the person you're meant to be, and I'm here to help you every step of the way. Let's go on this journey of rediscovering together, with the promise of bringing back excitement and passion.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hi, I am Kristy Ballard Fellini. I am a certified life coach who found herself at 42, freshly divorced kids off to college and having never dated in my adult life. I was starting in the middle. If you haven't yet hit start on your middle time in life, let's do it together. Let the journey begin.

Speaker 1: 0:34

You are listening to Start in the Middle, episode 101. Hello, my friends, so amazing to be back with you today. You know that last week was the hundredth episode of Start in the Middle and this is such a huge source of excitement for me. If you did not get the opportunity to listen to Episode 100, I encourage you to head back over and listen to that before you listen to today's episode, because today's episode is the next in the lineup and it will definitely make more sense to you If you head back over and listen to Episode 101.

Speaker 1: 1:28

So, if you do not know me, I want to start with a question today. So my question for you and my assumption is that you're probably listening to this with earbuds by yourself, so you can feel free to answer out loud, but you don't have to. But I want to ask you are you where you thought you would be in life? Like, are you living the life of your dreams, the life that you thought you would be living? Because a lot of times, when I ask people that question, their answer is no, and inevitably, regret immediately sets in. And so this is where I come in. I help women take control of their lives. I help them to raise the bar on the things that they have been allowing and standing for. I help them to create a life that they love. And so I am Kristi Fellani. I am your host, I am a certified trauma informed life coach, and if this sounds like you, then you're an amazing company today, because I was once there. I was once exactly where you are thinking that, man, this isn't what I thought life would be, and I am on the other side of that, and this is exactly why I love helping women who are just like you, who are human, just like me and who are going through all of these things. So last week… On the podcast and again, this is why it's a good idea to head back over there I shared with you the concept of renewal.

Speaker 1: 3:35

Now, remember that I told you that a renewal is not the same as a reset, because when you reset something, it means that you tear it down. Oh, my goodness, I got so excited with that, I slapped my desk. A reset means that you tear it down and that you start from scratch and you do things differently, whereas a renewal means that there's been some type of interruption, you know, like a halt in production, and you're ready to resume again. For me, it means just that, yes, there has been an interruption. I talked before about the month of May just being so, so busy that it felt like an interruption in my day to day life. It felt like an interruption of the things that I am trying to accomplish in my life, the goals that I have set for myself. It felt like an interruption in the way that I do things in my business, and it felt like an interruption in just my own personal self care and also noticing an interruption in my marriage, and so I'm calling for a renewal and I'm ready to begin again doing all of the same things, but with a greater commitment and a greater understanding and a greater passion to make all of those things better. So this summer I am committing to doing just that in those three areas of my life my business, my marriage and with myself. So some of this I plan to share with you, because I'm confident that, as human beings, we all go through the same things, the same type of things, and I firmly believe that when we stick together, there is so much more that we are able to learn from each other. And this is why I share so much of myself on my podcast. This is why I share so much of my journey, because it's important to me that you know that you are not alone on this journey and that you don't have to do life by yourself.

Speaker 1: 6:13

So today I want to talk to you about why we don't renew, and renew often the things that we want to make better in our lives. Are you ready for this? It's a little sneaky thing called resistance, and resistance is something that we feel in our body. It's like a nagging little heavy feeling that often says I just don't feel like it, or some form of that. Okay, resistance resistance allows us to hold out against renewal, because renewal, quite frankly, might feel uncomfortable. Y'all, let's just get real here. If you're calling for a renewal in some area in your life, my hope is that you're not choosing to stick with status quo. My hope is that you're coming back at it bigger, better, stronger, with a new sense of urgency and commitment, and that means that, yes, it's going to get uncomfortable. If it weren't going to get uncomfortable, you would have already done it, I promise. I'm a human. I know we don't want to do uncomfortable and that's why we resist. That's why we resist renewal in our lives.

Speaker 1: 7:59

So let me talk to you about a few ways that resistance shows up. Resistance can look like pride. Of course pride is going to throw up some resistance, because when you are being prideful, you are not even acknowledging that a renewal needs to happen. So let me tell you what the modern definition of pride is. That comes from thedictionarycom, so it says that it is a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit or superiority. So this is exactly how it gets in our way. It blocks our ability to treat others with gentleness, humility and pride, compassion and grace. Where it shows up for me, admittedly, is in my own independence and my closest relationships, and maybe it does for the other people that you are in relationships to, or maybe you see it in yourself, and so I want to give you a couple of examples where I have noticed this in my own relationship. So last night, just as an example.

Speaker 1: 9:29

My husband and I were talking about the age of Animals can, specifically of our dog, frank. You know, and I had always seen in the doctor's office, you know, that animals, for eight, age more rapidly than humans do. Okay, in their specific age range for cats, in a specific age range for dogs, and so we had a little bit of a debate on what that age range was, and I didn't want to back down and he didn't want to back down, and so what ended up happening is that we found that we really weren't treating each other with grace because we were so Prideful in wanting to prove that we were not wrong. Okay, each of us was acting in a prideful manner where I knew that this is what my experience had been and this is what I had seen and this is what I knew to be right, and I was trying to prove that to him, and the same thing was happening with him, in that he was trying to prove himself right as well.

Speaker 1: 10:43

And so this is how being prideful can cause us a disconnect in our relationship. It causes us to not treat each other with grace and with humility and with a gentleness. And so I've been thinking seriously okay, not so seriously about tattooing that word grace on my form and just using it as a reminder that when I notice that pride is popping up for me, using it as a reminder to see others through the lens, that God sees me, okay, and so I just kind of like jokingly, say that you know, I would love to tattoo this on the inside of my arm so that I can just remind myself that we're called to be gentle, we are called to be humble, we're called to treat each other with passion, and so this is one of the renewals that I want to make within my own relationship. Okay, so another way that resistance tends to show up is in fear and our fear of the unknown, the fear that the outcome of something is completely out of our control, or the fear that whatever it is that we're trying to renew won't turn out the way that we expected it to. So we fall into complacency.

Speaker 1: 12:24

Remember, last week I told you that oftentimes we walk through life with that thought of if it ain't broke, don't fix it. But if it ain't broke, don't fix it means that you're not constantly making it better or finding ways to make it better, and this is what complacency looks like. It's how we end up getting stuck in a job that we no longer love. It's how our relationships stay stagnant and you wake up one day and discover that y'all make really great roommates. It's how you decide screw it, I'm gonna have the cookie and maybe the entire sleeve. Y'all know what I'm talking about. You know about those dang cookie pushers. You know the ones that I'm talking about.

Speaker 1: 13:16

So this is how resistance shows up in our lives and keeps us from renewing the areas of our lives that we truly want. So we're talking about pride holding us back from renewing the areas that we truly want to love about our lives and we want to create growth in. We're talking about fear holding us back and keeping us captive in same old, same old and complacency. And if it's not broke, don't fix it Y'all. Here's the truth.

Speaker 1: 13:52

You have to be the example in your life. You have to be the change that you want to see in others, and I promise you, once you start making these little shifts, the people around you are going to notice. They're going to see you responding differently than you would have before. It's going to become contagious. They don't want to be the one that stuck in those old patterns over there. All by themselves, they're going to want to step up their game to. You'll start to see how you can be the catalyst for change in all of the humans that you encounter, if you decide to allow this renewal To take on, a renewal of every facet of your life and how you show up as a human being in the world.

Speaker 1: 14:53

And so what I want to offer you is meet up with me again here next week, because in next week I'm going to tell you exactly how we're going to do all of this together. Now that you know how resistance can show up as being either prideful or showing up as fear, you're going to be more aware of it and how you're using it against the progress that you actually want to make. You're going to see just how it keeps you from being your true, authentic self, and next week I'm going to talk to you about how we're going to squash resistance. So if you have questions about today's episode, if you have questions about how resistance may be showing up in your life and how it is keeping you from creating a renewal, from creating a recommitment to a goal, from creating a recommitment to your relationships, a recommitment towards yourself, or you just don't want to wait until next week to learn more, I encourage you to reach out to me and let's hang out on a zoom call.

Speaker 1: 16:17

I would love the opportunity to give you a free one on one session and show you exactly how this can work in your life, because I promise you it's never too late and now is the perfect time to stop letting your life just pass you by. So connect with me at christyphilanicoachingcom. That's K R I S T I F, as in Frank A L A N Y dot com. Head on over to my website. Click on the button at the top right hand corner.

Speaker 1: 17:00

Take my free quiz. It'll help you to identify exactly where your mindset is right now, and once you take that quiz, you get your results immediately, along with some additional tips to today's podcast that you can start incorporating in your life today. So you guys again, meet with me here again next week and I'm going to tell you the how. All right, have a great week. Who is your life coach? I would love the opportunity to work with you as you are rediscovering the woman you were meant to be. Visit Christy ballardphilanicom for more information on how we can work together to ignite that passionate, enthusiastic woman who may have been tucked away for some time. Let's start in the middle together.