Is it Creativity or Avoidance?

Have you ever been really excited about new ideas, only to end up with a bunch of projects you never finished? This podcast talks about that happening to women in middle age. We look at why we lose interest and how it might be a sneaky way of avoiding things. It's not just about noticing this pattern; it's about stopping it.

I'll share stories and tips for keeping going even when the excitement fades, whether it's a home project or a lifestyle change. Let's figure out what really motivates us and how to keep going even after the newness wears off. Plus, you can sign up for a free call to discover more about yourself and get support in becoming the woman you want to be, with a life full of happiness and finished to-do lists. With a free Discover You Call on offer, I'm here to support you in uncovering and embracing the woman you were always meant to be, helping you craft a life filled with abundance, joy, and completed checklists.

Visit my website: Kristi Falany Coaching.com

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Transcript

Kristi: 0:01

Hi, I am Kristy Ballard Fellini. I am a certified life coach who found herself at 42, freshly divorced kids off to college and having never dated in my adult life, I was starting in the middle. If you haven't yet hit, start on your middle time in life, let's do it together. Let the journey begin. Hello, hello, my friends, I hope that you are having a beautiful day. It is a beautiful day here in South Texas.

Kristi: 0:44

I'm sitting here at my desk and I'm just looking out the window, and just a few minutes ago I put Frank back in his kennel because he was just lounging around on the patio couch and we were able to have the door open. And just a beautiful day here in South Texas. I tell you what, when I am in this season, early springtime, my energy just seems to change, being that I can open the door, I can smell and have the natural air flow coming through the door. It's just amazing just to have that fresh air coming in the door and knowing that it's not too cold to have the door open and it's not too hot, because, you know, south Texas does get on the too hot side. But anyway, I am just having a beautiful day and so I hope that you are too. I hope that you are somewhere where it's not painful to step outside and to get that natural energy from Mother Nature, and I hope that you are taking part of that, because it definitely being out in nature and being out in the sunshine definitely does help with our energy levels. And so I am so excited to share this topic with you because, you know, nothing is off topic for me, and anytime I notice something in myself, I always think to myself I know my girls are feeling that too. I know that that kind of crap pops into their brains too, and so that's what I want to share with you today.

Kristi: 2:57

So I have a question for you. Oh, first and foremost, in case this is your first time finding this podcast, I am Kristi Fellini and I am a certified life coach. I help midlife women, women over 50. I would help any woman, because it is so important to me that any woman is not just existing in her life. It is so important to me that any woman is able to find the magical moments in her life at any season of her life. And so what happens to us when we are just existing is that we are living in the mundane. We are not living in the magic, and so, finding this podcast, I hope that what I am sharing, through the pain, the struggles, the triumphs, the wins, the joys that I am going through and the wisdom that I have learned through doing my own coaching in my own life, I'm hoping that you are able to find your way out of just existing and find your way out of the mundane.

Kristi: 4:25

So the question that I have for you do you ever just feel like you want to do it all, like all of the things, like there are so many exciting things in your path, maybe a new book, a new project idea, a new podcast that you found that you enjoy listening to and you get caught up in the excitement of wanting to do it all? At least, this is sometimes what it feels like for me. It feels like once I get going on a project or once I am sitting still in my own space that all of these other ideas come at me. And part of that is that I am always on the lookout for things that may be bringing me joy and fulfillment. And how can I pass those things on to you? And it seems like all of these ideas come when I'm already in the middle of something. They come when I am already excited about something and I'm already working on something, a new idea pops into my brain, and that's why I have like a running list, either in my phone or in my notebook, of ooh, this idea came to me. Oh, this idea came to me, and it's almost like creativity is attracting creativity, and it sounds nice, right, except it can also feel very overwhelming.

Kristi: 6:13

And so today, what I want to share with you is that I have actually stopped and noticed that all of that was going on, and I wanted to ask myself I wanted to sit in the question of what's the bigger picture here? Why do all of these great ideas seem to flood in at once, and why is it then that, when I really feel like I need an idea, it's just not there? So, as I was thinking about this, and, like I said, I wanted to sit with it for a while and really think about why it feels so exciting, and then it just fizzles out, right? Why does it always feel so exciting when all of the ideas are coming at once and then it fizzles out? And what I realized as I was sitting in this work and I got to be honest with you, it didn't feel good, because what I discovered is that I was actually avoiding something Like have you ever wondered why some things in life go half finished? Have you ever wondered why you seem to get super, super excited and then, when you get into it, you only halfway finish? So I want to share an example with you.

Kristi: 7:38

Okay, this happened with our guest bathroom. Okay, in the beginning it was super, super excited when we started the demo. There was all kinds of excitement around tearing things out, creating something new, getting in and getting started on something that we had thought about for some time. But then, when it started to feel like a grind, when it started to feel like every day looked the same of walking in there and tearing this out, and things really started getting intense. When you had to, you know, dig in and actually, you know, get your knuckles into tearing things out, we slowly stopped working. In fact, we actually let it sit for a while, a long while, and then what happened was that we even started developing resentment around it. Why did we start this? This isn't what I thought it would be. Why can't we just follow through, right, all of those judgments?

Kristi: 8:49

Does this sound familiar, like can you think of a project that you started? You were all in with all of the excitement and you started digging in and getting things done and then the excitement started to fizzle. You know, it can look like many different things in your life. It doesn't have to be like a DIY home project, it can be anything. So what other areas of your life do you find that you do this? Maybe it's the new diet you started. Maybe it's your new gym routine that you said you wanted to have, the new organizational system that got you really on track, only to fizzle out shortly after you started.

Kristi: 9:41

Girl, I get you, I totally get you. When it's shiny and new and we have in our minds all of the possibility, oh, this is going to be the best thing, until the newness wears off and it's no longer exciting, and then the next new thing pops into our head. This is exactly what was happening for me and what happens for me when I get going on a project and that newness starts to fizzle out, and so I often just ask myself what else could be happening, what else could be getting in the way of me not following through, like why is my brain telling me when I'm in the middle of something Like, oh, but you could do this, and then you could do this, and then you could do this, when I'm in the middle of a project that at one point I was excited about. So I want to let you in on a little secret. I'm actually currently in the middle of a project, right? And I'm at this point in the project where my brain is saying but that's going to be hard, it's going to be hard to promote this, it's going to be hard to make it all come together. It's going to be hard. And what if they don't even like it? Right? This is my brain's sneaky little way of saying, hey, how about we avoid the pain?

Kristi: 11:28

This is my brain's way of trying to keep me stuck in, not moving forward, trying to keep me from feeling uncomfortable, trying to actually keep me from finishing the project, which, in turn, is what is actually going to get me what I want. And so if you let your brain do this, if you let your brain take your focus off of what you originally wanted, what your original expectations and intentions were for that project got to reel it back in. And you've got to ask yourself that question what else could be happening. And the next question that you can certainly ask is is this a pattern and for me, this is a pattern that I do see in my life that I get excited about something, I go head first into it, I start it and then, when it starts to feel uncomfortable, when that excitement starts to fizzle out, this is when I have to disrupt that pattern and I have to say to myself girl, I'm on to you, this is your pattern, this is how bathrooms go unfinished and projects you were once super excited about don't get into the hands of your client. So y'all, where in life do you need to say, girl, I'm on to you, I see your patterns.

Kristi: 13:06

I notice you're avoiding getting out of your comfort zone because, friend, you've got to start digging deeper. When you notice this pattern is happening, when you notice this pattern is keeping you from the finish line, from the thing that you truly, truly want, which is for your projects to be finished and come to complete fruition, because this work, this digging deeper, is where you're going to stop just existing in your life. You've got to dig deeper into why you're not following through. You've got to dig deeper as to why you're not completing the projects. You've got to dig deeper as to why am I not following the diet plan that I originally said I was going to? Why my gym routine doesn't look the same as when I was first excited about it? Because here's the thing if you don't dig deeper, you're going to continue to live your life on surface level, and I know that some of you have just been living life at the surface level for some time, so maybe you're not even sure how to dig deeper or how to be onto yourself and the patterns that are holding you back in life.

Kristi: 14:43

This is absolutely why I love what I do. This is absolutely how I help my clients stop just existing in their lives. Because I'm a lifelong learner. I love learning about how your brain works and about being able to share these nuggets of wisdom with you and with my clients. So if you like what you're learning about here with me and you're ready to take it to the next level, you're ready to do that deeper work. I would love to share more of this work with you. I want to give you the action steps that you can start applying in your life to help you move past surface level thinking, to help you to stop living just a mundane life where you feel like you are just existing in the day to day.

Kristi: 15:47

So my free gift to you is a free Discover. You Call On this call. This is simply a conversation between you and I where you can ask me anything. You can bring any questions to me about any of the podcasts you've heard, any of the things that you've seen me share on social media, anything that is currently going on in your life that has you just staying stuck, and I would love to be able to give you the insight and the next action steps that you need to actually follow through with those projects and to actually create a life that you want and that you love. And maybe that looks like you joining my coaching program.

Kristi: 16:41

You see, I offer a 12 week coaching program that's all about discovering the woman that you were meant to be at this point in your life. That means making the brave, bold decisions that you need to in order to design the life that you want for yourself. It's completely curated especially for how you want to live an amazing, abundant, joy-filled life. So all you have to do to receive this free gift is go to my website, christyphilanicoachingcom. I'll post the link inside the show notes, click on the Discover Me link and you can set up your free call today.

Kristi: 17:34

And I hope that you will do this because, sister, let me tell you you are worthy of an amazing life, this season of your life and the seasons moving forward, and you have the possibility to create that and to curate that for yourself. All right. So I hope to talk to you soon. You guys, if you have questions about this episode, of course, please reach out to me. I'd love to hear from you and I hope that you have a fabulous week. Who is your life coach? I would love the opportunity to work with you as you are rediscovering the woman you were meant to be. Visit christyballardfilanicom for more information on how we can work together to ignite that passionate, enthusiastic woman who may have been tucked away for some time. Let's start in the middle together. Again, thank you.