Start in the Middle

The Power of Purpose and Embracing New Beginnings

• Kristi Ballard Falany • Episode 112

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Brace yourself for an intimate encounter with fear and challenge as we navigate the daunting waters of starting something new. It's a journey I've personally walked, building a business from scratch, learning from my failures and celebrating my wins. This is a space where we put our past triumphs under the spotlight, not just to relive them, but to use them as fuel for our next big leap. If you've been feeling stuck, spinning in the same cycle, or just need some guidance, this episode is your beacon.

We also delve into the power of reconnecting with your deepest desires and forming a stronger bond with your goals. The secret to overcoming resistance not only lies in understanding our true self, but also in personifying our goals. And what happens when you've rediscovered your purpose and are ready to craft a new path? How do you infuse your life with more joy, peace, and love? For those wrestling with these questions, we offer a 12-week program that provides guidance and support, along with one-on-one coaching for specific situations. So, join us and let's ignite the passion for your next big endeavor together.

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Kristi:

Starting something new is so hard. How many times have you told yourself that and then held yourself back from the thing that you wanted, from the goal that you wanted to accomplish, from the life that you wanted to live? Let's talk about it today. Hi, I am Kristi Ballard Fellini. I am a certified life coach who found herself at 42, freshly divorced, kids off to college and having never dated in my adult life, I was starting in the middle. If you haven't yet hit start on your middle time in life, let's do it together. Let the journey begin. Hello, my friends, and welcome back to the podcast. I hope that you are having an amazing day. Today, I want to talk to you about starting something new. Okay, because oftentimes, when we tell ourselves that starting something new is going to be hard, we find ourselves not doing it, we find ourselves not diving into it, we find ourselves staying stuck where we're at, or procrastinating on the thing that we know is going to make us better and, just overall, letting fear hold us back from what it is that we really want in our lives. And so last week, I was having this same conversation with my coach and I was telling him that I seem to be doing all the things, like I was creating all of, or I was doing all of the systems in my business and I was checking all the boxes, but it just felt like I was staying stagnant, that I was just staying in an area where I just kind of felt safe, right. And so we really talked about what it would look like for me to level up, what it would look like for me to create new goals. Because, as I shared with him, yeah, I was checking all the boxes, but I was also just kind of flying by the seat of my pants. I was also just kind of coasting along, doing the tasks, right, and basically I was doing the tasks with no rhyme or reason, and so it just felt like I was gaining no traction, like I wasn't getting anywhere. And so we decided together that it was time to level up, it was time to go to the next level, do what it takes to create the next level. And immediately my brain went to this is gonna be so hard, right, starting something new. Oftentimes we tell ourselves that it's gonna be hard and we let that it's gonna be hard, hold us back, we let that it's going to be hard, keep us in fear, right, and again, that looks like being stagnant, it looks like being stuck.

Kristi:

Okay, so, in the beginning, when I first started my business, I started it completely from scratch. And, yes, there's a reason that I'm going back to the beginning because I didn't know what the heck I was, it was that I was doing, you know, I didn't know what all the little intricate tasks were, I didn't know, you know, what it was going to take to build a business, to actually, you know, reach the people that I wanted to reach and to gain the clientele that I really wanted to gain. And so I started looking to others. I started to looking at my mentors for the basics. Okay, what were the basics that I needed to accomplish in order to start gaining this momentum? Right. And then that was the point where I hired a coach, right. And then, from there, utilizing his direction, you know, I started doing the trial in error of the things that we together thought you know would be those building blocks, right. And so I started to gain some traction, right, I started to create my system, started to create my daily routines, the things that I knew that I wanted to get done on the daily in order to get that visibility out there, okay. And so what I want to tell you is that, yes, I was growing right, but it felt like my business wasn't, and so I started adding in a few things, a few little things that felt like they were out of my comfort zone, looking for ways to get in front of people, looking for ways to take more action and to talk to people about how my business could help them. And I tell you what all of these things were scary and they felt hard, right, but I was starting to gain that momentum, all right.

Kristi:

So the reason that I tell you this is that when you are starting something new whether it be you're starting from scratch you need to look back and see where you started. You need to look back and you need to applaud yourself. You need to lift yourself up. You need to recognize all the ways that you have grown, okay, and so for me, again, it looks like where did I start in my business and where am I at right now? Okay, and so I am celebrating for myself all of those wins. I'm celebrating for myself the growth that I have already gained, and so what I want to tell you is that when you are wanting to start something new whether it be a new goal or a goal that you are reigniting you are going to need to borrow some of the wins that you have already accomplished. Okay, because when you borrow those wins and when you see, maybe in another area of your life, how far you have come, that is going to be the first step over. That hurdle of starting something new is hard, okay. So borrow from past wins, borrow from past growth All right, to help you ignite the passion that you want to start this new thing. Or I like for myself to ignite the passion that I want for next level, for creating more for myself in my business.

Kristi:

So remember that I said it felt like, you know, I was doing the day to day motions, that I was basically just kind of flying by the seat of my pants, that I really had no, no direction in where I was truly wanting to go, and so each day my tasks were just check the box. And I want to ask you do you ever feel that way? Do you ever feel like you are just going through life with no direction, like you're just going through the motions and each day looks exactly like the day before, like it's just wash, rinse, repeat, wash, rinse, repeat. When we get into that mode in our life, it kind of feels like a rut, right, kind of feels like we're stuck in the same cycle, and this is the way that I found myself, particularly in how I was showing up with my in my business. So today, what I want to talk to you about is getting out of that cycle.

Kristi:

All right, getting out of that cycle and creating something new for yourself, or picking up on something that you may have set down for a while, or again reigniting your passion and your drive and your vision for something that you are already working on in your life. And so the first thing that I want to offer you in this direction is I want you to rediscover what it is that you want. Okay, rediscover for yourself what it would look like to pick that goal back up. Or rediscover for yourself what's the next level that I want to move to in something that I already have going in my life. Or rediscover what it is that you want to reignite the passion for in your life. Maybe you found yourself in that rut and it feels like you have no direction and no passion for something new, and so I want you to rediscover what it is that you want, and then I want you to start doing the self searching.

Kristi:

Now, the way that I explained this earlier this week with one of my clients is that I told her I want you to just start journaling. I want you to just start journaling on what it is that you truly want, okay, and when you do this journaling practice, I want you to pretend that if everything in the world were perfect, what would you truly want for yourself? Now, when you do this practice, it is so, so important that you do it with no judgment, okay. So when you do this practice, I want it to just be a free flow and take out all of the that doesn't sound right. I can't do that. That's something that won't happen for me. I want you to take all of that judgment out and just allow the free flow of ideas of what life would look like for you if you truly had all of the things in your life, in your relationships, that you truly, truly want. So, really, try to do this with absolutely no filters. Okay, and this is what I mean by doing a self search of exactly what it is that you would just absolutely love to create for yourself in your life.

Kristi:

Now why you're doing this, I want you to also include your why. Why do you want it? How is it going to feel when you have it? Because when you include that into this self discovery practice, this actually takes you to the next phase of creating what you want, because you are creating a relationship with the goal. You're creating a relationship with what it is that you truly want, and from there, you can actually start to personify what it is that you truly want.

Kristi:

Now, what I mean by personify? So, in my case, the goal is that I want to step it up in my business. I want to take my business to the next level, and so what I want to do with that is that I want to create a relationship with my business. And so if I were to personify my business, I want to give it human qualities, and the reason that I do that is because, when I interact with other people, I'm careful for the fact that that person has feelings, that person has wants and dreams and desires as well, and so if I personify my business, I'm treating my business on a whole different level. I'm really starting to look at what it is that my business wants, and I believe that my business wants both of us to grow, I start to believe and think about how my business wants me to show up. Therefore, how is my business going to show up for me? So, when I give my goal human qualities, I'm creating a relationship with that goal. I'm creating a bond, a connection, the goal of wanting to take my business to the next level. So I encourage you create a relationship with the goal that you want for yourself. Create the relationship with that spark that you want to create towards getting out of that rut and getting out of that feeling of being stuck.

Kristi:

Create a relationship with how you want to show up differently in your life. Because when I have a relationship with my business, I want to follow through with it. When I have a relationship with my goal, I want to follow through with it. I want to do the things that I say that I'm going to do, just like I do with the human beings that I am in relationships with. I want to follow through. I want to do the things that I say that I'm gonna do. Of course, I don't want to let them down. And so, when I create this bond and this connection in this relationship with the goal that I have. I'm going to follow through. I'm going to show up the way that I say. I'm going to show up. I'm going to level up in the way I want to see this relationship grow. So this is where I'm able to make more powerful decisions for my goal. So once I create that relationship with what I want in my life, with the goal, then I'm able to make more powerful decisions for the thing that I truly want to see happen.

Kristi:

So for my business, it looks like not flying by the seat of my pants anymore. It looks like a leveled up version, like a designing every day ahead of time, like knowing exactly what my daily tasks are, knowing exactly where my time and my energy is going. And the same is true for anything that you are trying to create more of in your life. When you set a goal for yourself, when you have something that you are trying to recreate, a spark around, you want to know where your time is being spent. You want to know that what you're doing on the daily basis in your task is nurturing that goal, is feeding into that goal, that spark that you're trying to create. So this is the part of the process that my brain has been telling me is the hardest.

Kristi:

Okay, this is what my brain has been saying is that creating your daily tasks and creating a schedule around the time that you're going to utilize and to putting in the effort of mapping out how I want to achieve this goal, this is the resistance that my brain has been putting up for me, saying, oh, this is so hard. Okay, and y'all? I just want to tell you that little sentence this is hard. That, right, there is your biggest excuse for procrastination, for stagnation and especially for resistance. Remember that resistance means that there is something deep inside that is holding us at arm's length from doing what it takes to create what it is that we want. Okay, so I want to give you a secret weapon. I want to give you a weapon that's going to help you combat against resistance, against procrastination, against stagnation.

Kristi:

It's an easy little question Are you ready for it? Because I want you to ask yourself this question anytime you feel that there is some sort of resistance against what you want in your life and how you're going to get it. So, anytime that you're feeling resistance, you're feeling stuck, you're feeling like, oh, this is so hard, I want you to ask yourself why, and not just once, okay, but you actually have to answer it too. So, in order to make this work, you have to answer it and I want you to ask yourself why? Why does it feel hard? Answer it and then ask yourself again, why? And answer it. Because when you know why, you know exactly where the resistance is coming from. You know exactly where the procrastination is coming from.

Kristi:

And that is why I want you to keep asking yourself why, until you get to the root, until you get to the root of why you're resisting doing what it takes to really get what you want in your life, like, why are you resisting doing what it takes to create that dream that you have wanted for yourself, that you have left behind? Why are you resisting the goal that you have set aside one too many times? Because your brain says the process is too hard? Why Are you not figuring out why it is that you have been so unhappy for so long? Why are you resisting creating that happiness for yourself in your life? You see, when you're finally able to figure out the why starting something new feels so hard, you're able to design the exact path and the exact roadmap to finally make it happen Because you know, as I mentioned, I'm trying something new.

Kristi:

I'm trying something new in my business. I'm trying to level up and take my business to the next step, and utilizing all three of these steps has helped me to push past the resistance. It's helped me to push back when things feel hard or when my brain tries to say this is hard. So, rediscovering my goals, deciding on the next level path and designing my daily routine for how I want to show up in my business is the way that my business deserves for me to be. So here's what I want to offer you today.

Kristi:

If you find that you're feeling stuck in a certain space in your life, if you are feeling like things have been stagnant for a while, if you have that feeling of I'm just unhappy and I really don't know where it's coming from, I encourage you to really do that deep dive of rediscovering what it is that you want in your life. Again, maybe it looks like bringing up a dream that you may have set down for a while, bringing that back into fruition. Maybe it looks like starting a new exercise program. Maybe it looks like starting something new in your life that's going to create connection and create relationships. Maybe it just looks like bringing back a spark that may have been missing for some time in your life.

Kristi:

I have a 12-week program that centers specifically around rediscovering who it is that you were meant to be at this point in your life, making the decisions that may be and feel like they are hard. Therefore, you are not creating new things for yourself in your life and designing a specific path for how you want to re-spark and recreate new things for yourself, to bring back the peace, the joy, the love that you so desperately want in your life. So this program is specifically for when your brain says starting something new is hard or recreating a spark for myself in my life feels hard. So I encourage you to reach out to me, christiefulenicoachingcom it's K-R-I-S-T-I-F as in Frank A-L-A-N-Y coachingcom. I would love to talk to you about how this particular program can work specifically for your circumstances, whatever your circumstances may be.

Kristi:

This is not the only type of coaching that I offer. I know that there are specific circumstances that may be holding you back from the woman that you were meant to be in your life. Maybe you have one particular situation that has been bothering you, that has been holding you back and you want to talk about just that specific situation. I can help you in that area as well, so connect with me, either through my website or also connect with me on social media. I'm on Facebook and I am on Instagram, so I look forward to hearing from you soon. You guys again, if you ever have any questions about something that you heard here on the podcast, hit me up. I've got the answer. You guys, have a great day, thank you.