Start in the Middle

Thinking on Purpose

• Kristi Ballard Falany • Episode 171

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In this episode of Start in the Middle, Kristi Falany guides you through the final chapter of the Undistracted Challenge, exploring the power of intentional thinking. Inspired by The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles and Undistracted by Bob Goff, we’ll look at how deliberate thought can break through default beliefs and distractions, helping you align with your true desires.

We’ll discuss practical strategies to turn intrusive thoughts into productive actions, like handling daily frustrations more effectively. Plus, you’ll learn about coaching opportunities to deepen your journey toward a fulfilling, focused life.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome, welcome, welcome back to the podcast. You are listening to Start in the Middle with me, Christy Fellaini. I am a certified life coach who absolutely loves helping women to stop just existing in their lives. My purpose is to help women create a life that they love, create the joy that they want in your lives. So I say welcome to you.

Speaker 1:

This is the fifth and final installment of a five-day challenge that I did back in September. It was called the Undistracted Challenge. Now, if I have not yet shared with you my inspiration for doing this challenge, I want to give this information to you today. So there were two books that I read, that I researched, that I absolutely loved the concepts of, and these were my inspiration for creating this five-day challenge. So one of the books was called the Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D Waddles. Now, I highly recommend this book. As I mentioned, there's all kinds of amazing topics inside this book, but one topic in particular that is going to be key for today's podcast is the fact that everything in life, everything the pencil, the pen that you use on the daily, the journal that you write in your iPhone that you can't seem to let go of all of those things everything was first started as a thought. So today's topic is thinking on purpose, and so today's topic came richly from the research that I did inside this book, the Science of Getting Rich. Yes, I highly recommend it. The other book that I read, researched and absolutely loved some of the concepts that I shared with you inside the Undistracted Challenge, is actually called Undistracted. Capture your Purpose, rediscover your Joy, by Bob Goff. I highly recommend both of these books.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so, as I mentioned, today's topic the final in the series of the Undistracted Challenge that I did in September is called Thinking on Purpose. Now, if that idea blew your mind of everything in your life starts as a thought Now, thinking on purpose, not by your old default beliefs, your old default thoughts that were taught to you way back when, but choosing your thoughts carefully and thinking on purpose to create what it is you truly want in your life. Are you ready for it? I hope you enjoy this. I believe we saved the best for last. I believe that what I'm going to show you today is going to be a game changer. It could be the switch that you need, the switch that you need to notice those distractions, catch them while they're happening and deter them, set them on their way. Thinking on purpose is what we are talking about today. Thinking on purpose Because, remember, everything in life is first created in your thoughts. I'm going to show you some ways of thinking on purpose. When all of those little thoughts want to pop into your head and they seem to derail you from where you were going that day or derail you from what you wanted to accomplish. I'm going to show you how to bring it back and think on purpose. Okay, where we have been and, yes, I've got Friday here, because this is where we are at today. We are where our feet are at. But on Monday, we talked about being authentically you and how so important it is for your worth and for your connections, for you to show up authentically you, choosing your vision. Okay, remember to choose you. There are times when we know that we are supposed to have a servant's heart, but you have to choose you first in order to serve others. Okay, and your dreams and your desires are extremely important. So choose you.

Speaker 1:

Wednesday. Where did all the time go? Now, I hope that you're going to be working on that for the next couple of days, discovering where your time is going and, yes, you are supposed to write down everything. 9.30, I ate a bagel. 10 o'clock, I listened to a worship music. 10.05, I got distracted from my call. Blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1:

All of the things. You're writing down all of the things. No matter if you have some conviction in your brain that says, oh, I shouldn't be doing that, I'm not going to write it down. Write it down, okay. Stuckness. Remember that says, oh, I shouldn't be doing that, I'm not going to write it down. Write it down, okay. Stuckness. Remember that N-E-S-S is a state of being, it is a condition, okay, which means that you don't have to stay there. You don't have to stay stuck. And we talked about actionable steps. Okay, we talked about these puzzle pieces your vision plus your belief. Remember that if he's placed it on your heart, yes, it is for you. So you should believe in yourself and your why.

Speaker 1:

All of these things are what drive your actions, okay, okay, distractions happen here. This is where we get derailed. Our distractions are intrusive thoughts that we have about temporary circumstance that keep us from what we had originally intended for ourselves or what we are trying to create for ourselves. That is why it is so, so important for you to take captive every thought Okay, so important for you to take captive every thought. So, when we're thinking on purpose, we are taking captive every thought, especially the ones that are intrusive and they're trying to derail us. Okay, intrusive and they're trying to derail us? Okay, we need to examine the ones that are not serving us. Examine the ones that are not serving us. So, if you are being pulled away from your calm center, if you are being pulled out of peace, you need to examine that thought. Okay, I'm going to show you how, today, we need to debunk the ones that are trying to keep us safe.

Speaker 1:

So, sentences like just don't know if I can do it. I just don't know if that's for me. We need to debunk those. We need to ask statements like is this true? Is it true that I don't know how to create a reel, so I probably shouldn't do it? No, figure it out. You are resourceful. You've made it this far. You are resourceful. If you want to do it, there is a way to do it and you're supposed to do it. Okay, is it a true statement?

Speaker 1:

Is this something that I want to believe? How many of your projects, your ideas, the things that you've started, the things that you haven't started are because you are believing something that is no longer true and you're believing something that you really don't want to believe. I don't want to believe that I am not capable of all things. I don't want to believe that. I don't want to believe that I can't use my two hands to create a lamp. I don't want to believe that I cannot be alone with myself. I don't want to believe that I can't do what it takes to pull a fifth wheel so that I can do something that I love and to have some solid me time, quiet time with myself. I don't want to believe that. And how am I going to change my belief? By asking myself what else could be true. What else could be true? Okay, I'm also trying to keep an eye on the chat, but if you have something, I want you to just come off of mute. Okay, I want you to share it with us. Okay, here is a self coaching practice. Okay, I'm going to show you a self coaching practice how to look into and examine better those intrusive thoughts. Okay.

Speaker 1:

So let's say, for instance, you have a circumstance. Okay, the trash is at the top of the can. All right, this is a common one. I know that if you are married or you have men in your house, this is a common one. Now, what I want you to notice is that it does not say the trash can is full, okay. It says the top. The trash is at the top of the can, and the reason that I put that is because you want to get super, super specific and truthful about the circumstance, Because if I were to say that it's full, that means that I've already squashed it down and got every single piece of space inside that trash bag that I can. Okay, so the trash is at the top of the can Common circumstance that we deal with, right? Here's my thought. Here's that ugly, intrusive thought I'm the only one who takes out the trash, okay, okay. I'm going to ask myself is this a true statement? Am I really the only one? The only way to know that is if I live by myself, if I completely live by myself and I'm the only one that takes it out, then, yeah, we could say that it is a true statement. Right, because we have that logical evidence. But here's what happens when I'm thinking this thought I'm the only one who takes out the trash I'm getting frustrated.

Speaker 1:

It frustrates me, frustrates me when I feel like I'm the only one to do this task, and so maybe the actions that I take, I stomp around, I don't want to do it, so I shove it down, maybe I leave it for later and I start spinning on. I'm the only one that does it. I'm the only one that does it, and I'm frustrated until I finally do it. I want you to think about when I'm thinking this thought. What is the reality that I have created for myself? First of all, I'm making it a problem and I'm making it consume me until I just do it. And what I've proven here to myself is that, yeah, I'm the only one that does it. I haven't even allowed for someone else to do it. I haven't even asked hey, I'm busy right now, do you mind taking out the trash? Or hey, it's pretty heavy right now because I've shoved it down too far and you've shoved it down too far, would you mind taking out the trash? Right? This is the reality that I've created for myself. First of all, I've made it a huge problem. Right, I have frustrated myself. The thought of I'm the only one that does this is consuming me, right, until I just go and do it and I'm not allowing others the opportunity to do it. Does this make sense? Can you kind of see how this happens? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So what I want to give you today is a practice that you can use Now. You can utilize this practice and see what realities you're actually creating for yourself. You can utilize this practice, but is it helpful, right? I mean, yeah, it's helpful for you to see how you are creating your own reality. It's helpful to see how your thoughts create your outcome, but I don't know that this is where I want to stay. Right, this is good for me to examine it and examine why I'm feeling so frustrated and the reality that I'm creating for myself, but this is not where I want to stay. And so, oopsies, there we go. So here are some steps that I want you to take.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I first want you to notice the thought. Notice when that thought comes up. When it appears full, when the can appears full, I have this intrusive thought that I'm the only one who takes it out, takes out the trash, not the track, the trash or trash. Okay, so I'm notice that when the can appears full, that I have this intrusive thought, and when I have this thought, it makes me really frustrated. Okay, I don't like that feeling. I don't like feeling like I'm the only one that does it, when I know that that's not true, when I know that if I noticed that it's been, that it's full or that it's appears full, I can also ask for help.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so I want to go to the next step and I want to normalize this thought. You know, like, why does it feel like that? And maybe it feels frustrating? And maybe this thought comes up because I really don't like that chore. And it feels like when I do it often, it makes sense that I think that I'm the only one. Okay, so when you normalize it, when you say stuff like oh, that makes sense that I'm getting frustrated by it because I really don't like that chore. So when you normalize it, it takes some of the sting off and you may start to have compassion for yourself instead of frustration. You may start to have compassion for the others in your household instead of frustration. Right, because maybe this is a chore that you really don't like doing, but the other people in your house are way busier than you are, or maybe they don't cook, so they don't notice it, right, could be so many other statements that are true, right, and this is all about choosing our thoughts as well. Okay, and then you want to neutralize it. Is the thought I'm thinking, a true statement? What else could be true? So, asking yourself those questions to help you to neutralize it. What else could be true? All right, and then choose on purpose the next best thought. Okay, choose on purpose the next best thought. What can I think instead that doesn't feel so frustrating? Make sense. Okay, when do we get small? When do we get small?

Speaker 1:

I want to share something with you from the book Undistracted, there was a young girl around four years old at the airport. She had seen planes before from the ground, but this was her first flight. Once airborne, the little girl turned to her seatmate and asked when do we get smaller? You see, in her mind she always saw airplanes as being tiny, floating toys from her perspective on the ground. It was actually quite brave of her to get on a plane, thinking she was going to shrink when they took to the sky. I know it's adorable, but what old stories are you still carrying around? What old thoughts are you still thinking?

Speaker 1:

I know one that tripped me up for years was when I moved to Corpus Christi, texas in the middle of the sixth grade and moving from a totally different state to Texas. It was so very different and I was so very different and I struggled through junior high and I'm tearing up now that we're talking about it. I struggled through junior high because I carried around this story that I'm not likable, and that story stuck with me. Stuck with me until I learned about coaching, because they didn't understand that I'm allowed to be different, I'm allowed to have my own quirks, my own personality, the things that I like. And you know it took me years to share this with anybody. Took me years to share this with anybody. But man again, when we share our stories, when we share our stories, it gives permission for that story to go. It gives permission for us to release that story.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so I want you to think about and you can use both of those practices that I just showed you. You can use both of those practices to help you to move out of those old stories. Okay, because those stories that are found deep down could be what's holding you back from creating your vision. Okay, your heart work. What old stories from your past are you still hanging on to Now?

Speaker 1:

Here's the beauty of coaching. Sometimes we don't even know the stories. We've lived with them for so long, we've believed them for so long that we just believe them to be true. We just think that that's the way we are, and so we don't sometimes see, and so that's what a good coach does. A good coach listens to how you're showing up and looks for pockets and gaps where you could have some old, stinking thinking that might be holding you back. Okay, so what old stories from your past are you still hanging on to? That one that I was believing about myself for so long about? I'm just not likable. I knew that that couldn't be true. I knew that. That, that that hurt my heart and it made me feel like I wasn't likable. And so, when I was able you know that was a story that I was able to bring up on my own Okay, I didn't need the help of my coach for that one Okay, so when you think about old stories that you're hanging on to things that you might say to yourself is that true?

Speaker 1:

Is there something else that could be true? Those are thoughts that, yes, you need to run through that practice. Okay, run it through the self-coaching practice notice, normalize, neutralize, and what is the next best thought? And what is the next best thought Okay? So no, the answers to all the questions are about you. You are the gatekeeper to your own thought, and the reason that I included that is because sometimes the sneaky little sentence comes into our brain when we are in relationship with other folks. Sometimes that sneaky sentence comes into our brain of you, make me feel Okay, and so what I want to remind you of is that no one else has the power to make you feel anything. It is how you perceive what they're saying. It is the thoughts that you are thinking about what they're saying, and it might be old stories that are uncomfortable in your body and are being triggered by what they are saying or doing. Okay, unless they are physically placing hands on you. Their words and their actions outside of placing hands on you are completely up to you. You're the gatekeeper. All righty guys, that is what I have for you today, because this is what it looks like to take our thoughts captive and being responsible for our own feelings. So this is what it looks like to think on purpose. Wow, wow and wow.

Speaker 1:

How amazing has this last five weeks been, listening to each of these podcasts, the first one, starting back in October the 1st getting real, getting real, getting deep down into your true, authentic self and choosing every day to show up as who you are authentically, to create the connections, the joy in the relationships that you have in your life. And then, october, the 8th, vision choosing you, creating a vision for where you want your life to go and actually putting in the action steps that it takes to make that vision a reality. And then, on October 15th, where does all your time go? I hope that you actually put in the work to discover where it is all of your idle time is going. Where are you spending all of the white space on your calendar? So I encourage you, if you have not yet done that practice, go back to where does all the time go that came out on October 15th and then on October 22nd stuckness, stuckness and how to get out of it. And then today, thinking on purpose. I'm not sure if you recognize this, but every single one of these concepts built on the other. One of these concepts built on the other. Now remember from that book, the Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D Waddles. He tells us that every single thing that we have in our lives was first started as a thought. So I hope you move forward and you think on purpose into creating the vision that you want for yourself. I hope that you use your time wisely and that you add in the rest that your body needs so that you are no longer feeling stuck. So I hope that you will continue with me.

Speaker 1:

This next couple of weeks is going to be super, super interesting on the podcast. Remember that if you have any questions or concerns, even if you want to have a one-on-one chat with me to see what it would look like for us to work together, I encourage you to reach out on my website, christyfallainicoachingcom. You can also reach out to me on my socials. All of those links will be inside the show notes. Have a great week. Who is your life coach? I would love the opportunity to work with you as you are rediscovering the woman you were meant to be. Visit christyballardfelainicom for more information on how we can work together to ignite that passionate, enthusiastic woman who may have been tucked away for some time. Let's start in the middle together.