What's the Role of a Coach...Really?

What does a coach actually do?

In this episode, I share how coaching is less about giving advice and more about helping you see clearly, ask better questions, and move forward with courage and alignment.

A coach isn’t the hero of your story — you are.
A coach simply walks beside you as you grow into who you were meant to be.

Want to join us on the Spring Getaway? Click Here for details.

Have questions about the Womens Getaway? Email me at Kristi@kristifalanycoaching.com or kbfalany@gmail.com

Thanks for listening. Follow me in Facebook and Instagram. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hi, I am Christy Ballard Filaney. I am a certified life coach who found herself at 42, freshly divorced, kids off to college, and having never dated in my adult life. I was starting in the middle. If you haven't yet hit start on your middle time in life, let's do it together. Let the journey begin. Hey, you. Welcome back to the podcast. If this is your first time listening, my name is Christy Filaney and I am a life coach for women. So what this episode is going to be all about is okay, so what the heck does that mean? So I've been going to a lot of different like networking events, um, getting myself in front of women so that I could help promote my um women's retreat coming up in April, the spring getaway that we are taking to Marble Falls. And so oftentimes when you go to these networking events, you know, they give you a one-minute commercial time. So you get to stand up and you get to talk about what you do for a minute. Now, when I'm trying to squish two things into one, when I'm trying to squish into what the heck is a life coach or what does a life coach even do? And also talk about and promote this amazing retreat, it is super, super hard to fit all of that in. And so, so I thought, you know what? A podcast episode would be the perfect way to explain it. All right. So I hope you're in for it today. And maybe you've often wondered, what does a life coach even do? So I want to talk about that today. What does a life coach actually do? Or maybe even, do I really need one? Because here's the deal. When I first started five, six years ago, I thought, oh, this is gonna be amazing. I can hire a coach. I don't have to go sit inside a therapist's office, and my coach is gonna give me really, really great advice. Over time, what I realized is that giving really, really great advice is actually the smallest part of coaching. And so the part that is the bigger portion, the bigger reason why I love coaching so much is so different from feeling like, oh, this person is gonna be the hero of my story, right? Because your coach is not the hero of your story. You are the hero of your story. A coach doesn't step in and rescue and tell you this is what you should do and this is what you shouldn't do. Girlfriend, you have friends that already do that for you. You don't need your coach to do that. She doesn't take over your decisions, she doesn't tell you who to become. Instead, she helps you see who you already are. There's something powerful about sitting with someone who reflects back your strength when you can't see it yourself. Sometimes we're just too close to our own lives to actually see things clearly. And your coach is holding a mirror up, not to criticize, but to clarify. You see, where advice tells you what to do and how to do it, coaching asks, and I think this is where real transformation happens. Instead of here's what you should do, it actually becomes why do you want that for yourself? Is that in alignment with your values? Or even what are you afraid would happen if you chose differently? Who would you be if fear wasn't leading the show? You see, the right question can unlock something that's been buried for years. So you don't need someone to think for you. You need someone who helps you think and think more clearly. You see, growth doesn't happen in chaos. You know that. But it also doesn't happen in comfort. A coach creates what I like to call safe stretch. There's accountability, but not shame. There's structure, but not control, and there's challenge, but not condemnation. And as a believer, that matters to me deeply because conviction from God leads to growth. Condemnation is what shuts us down. So a healthy coach partners with you and partners with the Holy Spirit, not replaces him. So have you ever noticed how easy it is to talk yourself out of what you once prayed for? You see, because fear gets super loud and comparison starts to creep in when we start having thoughts about well, is that really for me? Right? And comfort, oh my goodness, comfort actually seduces you. I mean, come on, think about the last time when you had a bad day at work or you had an argument with a loved one, and comfort felt like sitting down on the couch with a couple of Oreas, right? Comfort seduces us that way. And suddenly you find that you start shrinking, you start making yourself small, you start doubting what it is that you truly want to create in your life. And a coach helps you to remember. A coach remembers what you said you wanted, even when you forgot. She reminds you of your values, of your calling, and of your capacity. And she doesn't do this to pressure you, she does this to anchor you. You see, the goal that you and your coach should have is not dependence, it's asking those great questions so you can start trusting yourself so that you can start making decisions from alignment with your values and what it is that you truly desire for yourself. It's helping you live in a way where your decisions come from true identity, true confidence, from your faith, and from clarity. And when you lean into this, your decisions are not coming from a place of urgency. They're not coming from feeling pressured, and they're not coming from fear. So if I could summarize the role of a coach in one sentence, I would say this: a coach partners with you until you trust your own voice enough to live courageously and aligned with what you really want to create in your life. So if you've been feeling stuck, if you know there's more in you and you just feel like you need to get past that feeling of I'm at capacity, if you're tired of circling that same mountain or allowing those same thoughts to circle around in your head. Maybe you don't need more information, or maybe you don't need more knowledge or the next self-help book. Maybe you need a partnership. And that's what coaching is not someone to carry you, but someone to walk beside you while you are becoming that next best version of yourself. So if you've ever met me at a networking event or we've just met in conversation and you've walked away thinking to yourself, what the heck is a life coach? This podcast is for you. And if any of this resonates with you, if you have been thinking about, man, I would really love to have someone just come along beside me and root me on versus tell me what they think I should do in this next journey of my life, then I would encourage you to reach out to me and let's just have a conversation. And I tell you, a conversation doesn't obligate you to anything, it just allows you to see different possibilities. So reach out to me either through Facebook, through Instagram, or if you just happen to be on my email list, shoot me an email. And we can talk through email, we can talk on the phone, we can talk through Zoom, we could sit down and have a cup of coffee, whatever feels best for you. I would love to be able to do that for you. And hey, if you have been thinking about this women's spring getaway coming up April 16th through the 19th in Marble Falls, Texas. Hello, the beautiful hill country. We would love to have you there. There are already 12 amazing women who have committed to this getaway. And these women, I tell you, these are the warmest women that you are ever going to meet. They are so much fun. They are so excited to meet new women, to connect on a deeper level, and just have evenings where we just laugh and have fun. If this sounds like something you would be interested in, I want to encourage you, do not feel like because you're coming alone, that you will be out of place. You absolutely will not. You will be welcomed with open arms. So I'm gonna drop a link inside the show notes. All you have to do is click on the link. It's gonna take you directly to a website that shows you exactly what the home looks like, where we will be staying, and gives you all the information that you need to get yourself signed up for this. Now, what I will tell you is that there are very limited spaces left available. Okay. And in order to be able to completely plan this entire thing out for you, I have got to close registration on March the 20th. So do not delay. Make sure that you check out that page. And I am so excited to have you there. Alrighty, until next time, I'll talk to you soon. Do you need a life coach? Wouldn't it be amazing to have a listening ear who understands where you're coming from? We could work on challenges, goals, relationships, and so much more. Email me at KB Fainy. That's K B F A L A N Y at gmail.com. I have created an online coaching business to help you ignite that passionate, enthusiastic woman who may have been tucked away for some time.