Wellness Inspired Podcast
Real conversations. Real-life wellness.
Hosted by Sheri Davidson, a licensed acupuncturist and certified wellness coach, the Wellness Inspired Podcast explores the messy, meaningful, and often unexpected path to feeling well—and staying well—in a world that constantly demands more.
Wellness Inspired Podcast
Menopause Beyond Hot Flashes: Finding Freedom in Midlife
When Istra Bauza says, “This transition isn’t the end—it’s the moment you become more of you,” she captures the transformative potential of menopause. Beyond hot flashes and physical changes lies an invitation to profound self-discovery and authenticity.
In our third conversation together, Istra—now a licensed professional counselor—shares how midlife transitions often spark more than symptoms. They can trigger a radical reassessment of identity, boundaries, and what it really means to live well.
We talk openly about the physical realities—disrupted sleep, joint pain, weight shifts—while reframing menopause as a season of growth rather than loss. What if the changes you’re experiencing are actually guiding you back to your truest self?
In this episode, you’ll discover:
- Why menopause is more than symptoms—it’s an identity shift
- How hormonal changes invite deeper emotional and mental work
- Why self-acceptance and inner wisdom matter more than quick fixes
- The surprising freedom many women find from external validation
🎧 Whether you’re moving through this transition yourself or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers practical wisdom and a fresh perspective on midlife.
"This transition isn’t the end—it’s the moment you become more of you." —Istra Bauza
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Istra Bauza, Licensed Professional Counselor - Associate
Supervised by JylScott Reagan, LPC-s
Owner of Soul and Sun Counseling and Wellness
281-673-6019
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This transition isn't the end. It's the moment you become more of you. This transition isn't the end, it's the moment you become more of you. Those words from my guest and friend, easter Balza, perfectly captured the heart of today's conversation. But first I want to welcome you back to another episode of the Wellness Inspired Podcast, a place where you can find inspiration, motivation and empowerment in the pursuit of a wellness lifestyle.
Speaker 1:I'm your host, sherry Davidson. I'm a wellness coach, acupuncturist, trail runner and former interior designer in Houston, texas, and I am deeply passionate about health and wellbeing. And, as always, I'm here with my co-host, finn. And, if you're new to the podcast, finn is my terrier mixed rescue dog, trail runner and loyal companion. He is also a therapy dog and greeter at Element 5 Acupuncture and Wellness also a therapy dog and greeter at Element 5 Acupuncture and Wellness, and I am super excited about our conversation today because we're diving into a topic that we've covered here before on the podcast, and it is a topic that touches so many lives. It's midlife, menopause and the changes that come with the stages of life.
Speaker 1:Istra has been on the podcast before and I am super thrilled to have her back. I think this is her third appearance on the podcast and we always talk about the same thing, but we always have a little bit of a different spin on it. So for those of you who have not heard our conversations in the past, I think that she's been on the podcast twice before, so this is her third appearance. Just to give you a little history, me and Ishtar, we have been friends for many, many years and we first met in the triathlon world and the first year I had the podcast her and I connected here. She was a triathlon coach, she was an Ironman triathlon coach and then later she went back to school for counseling, so she came on the podcast last year.
Speaker 1:We talked a little bit about that then and now this is her third appearance and she is now a licensed professional counselor practicing here in Texas, in Houston, texas, and I think she brings such a unique perspective because she combines the resilience of an athlete with the insight of a therapist, the resilience of an athlete with the insight of a therapist Together. We talk about the realities of perimenopause and menopause the physical and the emotional challenges, the frustrations and the unexpected shifts in identity. We'll also explore the opportunities, acceptance, curiosity and the chance to live more authentically ever than before. So, whether you're moving through this transition yourself or supporting somebody who is, this conversation offers both wisdom and encouragement. So settle in and join us for this candid and heartfelt exchange with Istra. I can't imagine what our parents went through and never talked about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I mean, it's like everywhere, I look everywhere. I you know every like. I remember going to my aunt because my mom couldn't give me any information about aging or what she went through. I was like, oh, I was just busy, so I had to go to my aunt and my aunt came and said yeah, I remember, I remember when I transitioned, when the change came in, and then she talked about all the things that were happening. She talked about symptoms she didn't really talk about you know, her inner world was going through what she was going through.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it's like the mental piece of it. Mental piece, yeah, and the emotional piece of it, yeah and you know we were.
Speaker 2:I was reaching out to them to get some inner wisdom because, yeah, we lose. We've lost our connection with the elders you know, people that had this knowledge um, and it's unfortunate right that we don't have access to that, yeah, so yeah, even today my mom still, um, doesn't really talk about it much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, mine either. Yeah, um. Well, welcome back to the podcast. Istra, we kind of already started talking, but warm welcome. I always love talking to you. I'm so glad you're back. You are a triathlon coach. When we first did the podcast, you were going to school for counseling. The second time we did the podcast, you had just finished, but you weren't licensed yet. And now you are licensed and practicing, correct.
Speaker 2:First of all, thank you for having me again. It's a it's a pleasure to just share this space with you. Um, yes, and you're correct, I am now licensed and practicing in a small group, uh center for creative resources and where are they? They're on bisonette, like five minutes from here. Um, we're right in front of the the high, the big building they're building on the ashby high rise. Oh, really, yes, across the street in a little house I always thought that was empty.
Speaker 2:Well, there's a house there that is empty next to it. Okay, maybe that's the one I always see. Yeah, next to it there's a. There's a two-story house that has, um, uh, an ob-gyn gynecologist on the bottom and a massage therapist, so there's a group there of other services, but we are a small group. It's me, my supervisor and two other therapists, and of course there's other therapists all over Texas that are under the same group. But our group is small and we have a very fulfilling practice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's so nice. How did you?
Speaker 2:find them. So, um, I've been talking to uh in school while in school I got introduced to a couple of people through networking and uh and we do interview several supervisors because we know we have to be supervised for 3,000 hours to get clinical experience right In the state of Texas. You can practice, you can have your own practice and still be supervised. So that's why you can go into group practice. But you have to have someone who oversees your work or a clinical sort of like mentor.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you watch couples therapies on Showtime but you see the therapy is going to her own mentor, so that kind of like that. But you know, sort of training slash mentorship, yeah. So I met her and it was instant connection. I really liked her. She has 35 years plus of experience and she's very well known. She's a very well known couples therapist, yeah, and I usually see individual clients that she refers to me from, from those couples that say, like you know, someone in the couple wants uh to just go do psychotherapy on their own uh, she refers these clients to me.
Speaker 2:So it's like, okay, it's, it's been really going really well and it's growing um.
Speaker 1:You said you're really enjoying it.
Speaker 2:Yes, I am totally enjoying it. Professional LPCA in Texas. You can only practice in Texas, but we can practice remotely or in person. Lpcs are called counselors in the allied health world, but we're basically offered the same services as a social worker or a psychologist. We all do psychotherapy. The difference is that for LPCs, counselors and social workers we can attain these licenses after a master's. Versus psychology, I think, clinical psychology, you have to have a PhD. So essentially we serve the same populations, but it's just a matter of, like, the type of education you have.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah so what made you want to become a counselor?
Speaker 2:um so it's a long process that I had to go through um.
Speaker 1:I know you reached out to me about coaching.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah so I did coaching. I did coaching for a little while. I think everything started with triathlon and endurance sports, which is how we met by the way, yes, this is how you and I met In the community. And yeah, and of course, we loved endurance, sports and the community and what it brings out of us, right? It brings a sense of connectedness and longing and, and through that I became a coach uh, worked with a small number of clients, athletes, and then a triathlon coach, an iron man, yeah iron man, a travel and coaching uh side.
Speaker 2:And then I started volunteering as well. And um to volunteering in, you know, with women in underserved, with underserved populations, through nonprofits, you know, helping women train and complete a 5K women that were formerly incarcerated, or even with, you know, unhoused populations, unhoused populations. So through some of the volunteering idea, I started thinking, wow, I do like the coaching, I do like the training and being with people and being a mentor to all those things, but I do like the one-on-one. I really like to work with people and to listen to them, to some of the root causes how do they get where?
Speaker 2:they are and what sort of goals and dreams they have. So it became more of a can I do this? One-on-one Can I? And also because I needed that process too.
Speaker 1:This is.
Speaker 2:the other reason a lot of people don't say in the mental health field is that sometimes we go to these professions because we also need that processing. We also need that look for deeper answers Because we're all in this together.
Speaker 1:I would say a majority.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the majority, I would say a majority. Don't ever think that your therapist is the most sane normal person. Sometimes they are out there and they have their things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, yeah. So, and here you are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you for having me. This is always exciting.
Speaker 1:Well, we always come together as women, as athletes and older women athletes, and we always talk about now, yes, and the struggle is real, yes, and we always come together and talk about perimenopause, menopause. We always get into the athletic side of it just because I think that's our history, but this is for everyone yeah and yeah.
Speaker 1:So here we are again. I think it's an important topic to discuss. I know I see it in here and the struggle, like I said, is real. And there's a lot more that goes on besides, just the like we were talking earlier, just the symptoms.
Speaker 2:Right, absolutely, and that's what we're going to talk about.
Speaker 1:So, yes.
Speaker 2:So I mean again, I'm so grateful that you have me here to talk about this, because these are some things that are coming up for me more and more personally. I mean, it becomes cared for everyone else and now it's time for me to look at what is it that I want? How can I care more about myself? And I'm saying it in all areas, right, like physically, mentally, emotionally. It's like a point where a lot of these women come and say you know, I didn't realize that the person I was during my many years of marriage, my many years working, my entire lifestyle or lifetime was, you know, working towards, you know, caring for others.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So now it's like your body's screaming. Your body's screaming. Hey, think about look this way, you know, look internally, tend to your own body, your own mind and emotions.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So it becomes like a screaming, like you're not, you ignore it and you just keep going, grinding and working and doing the things and trying to be there for everyone. But then then your body says, hey, I'm over here.
Speaker 1:I'm over here, Pay attention, and boy does it. Yes, Boy does it. You know I might have said this in one of the other episodes that we did, but I've been doing Chinese medicine for 18 years, over 18 years now. I've been doing it for a long time and I have been treating women the whole time like with symptoms. Yes, and I'm totally going to be honest here, I've helped a lot of women with their symptoms.
Speaker 1:And there's some women I haven't helped, right, and I still can't figure that out, but the weight gain is on top of a lot of women's minds, including my own, being an athlete, because I don't feel as good in my body. But there was a part of me during those years that would say they just because I work out all the time, right, so I was and I weighed the same my whole life and I was like I work out all the time, but then it started happening.
Speaker 1:Yeah but I would. I would look at some of these women and I would think they just need to up their game. You know, just up their game.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And now that I'm having some of the same experience, I'm like, no, that's not true Like even as a practitioner yes, looking back, you know I did help a lot of women, but there was a part of me that they just need to do a little bit more, just a little bit more, just run a little longer. You know, or you know so, but now I know that the struggle is yeah, it's real, it is real.
Speaker 2:It is real. I mean it is real because it's more more of a. It's a time where, like all the external validation that you were, you saw before, all the things you could do from an external, from an outside standpoint worked. Yeah, you know, you gain a couple pounds, so you would go run a little more, exactly, and your body weight would like stabilize, or you would like adjust your eating and that would stabilize your weight.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:But we know now in menopause that's not the case, right, for a lot of women.
Speaker 2:A lot yeah, and I have to say I agree, a lot of women come to therapy and the weight part always comes as a Like it's that part of you that is resisting, in a way, resisting the change in your body, resisting the new you. In that sense, I like that new you, the new you, yeah. So the new you, it's part of that big change. So this is why we're here talking about aging and menopause. So it's a state of it's basically a state of life, state of life that is inevitable, right? So?
Speaker 1:And we want it, we want it.
Speaker 2:We want it and this is why I'm here talking. This can be transformative. Yeah, for an incredible reason, because this is now sometimes a lot of people come thinking and come to me, as in this is the end of life, because, yes, you are faced with a lot of fears. Come to me, as in this is the end of life, because, yes, you are faced with a lot of fears of the future of your body crumbling in in your own, you know in front of you and things like that.
Speaker 2:But then you know, it's also an opportunity to look inward as to what I was mentioning a little while ago, to really dig deep and look at what is that? What is it that you need? What are the adjustments in your lifestyle, in the way you approach you know, demands from work, others, in the way you challenge, in the way you talk to yourself?
Speaker 1:for example yeah, that's a big one.
Speaker 2:Right and this is one that, if you remember when you were in adolescence, if you go back to the way you talked to yourself when you were a teen, sometimes some of these negative thought patterns come back in this age. And the essence of that is that this is the moment where, if you had not addressed this narrative, this voice, this core belief about, about yourself, if you don't address it now again, once and for all, right, because you I go back to a lot of clients come back. Yeah, this is kind of how I felt when I was a teen.
Speaker 1:Oh, interesting, the same insecurities are coming back do you think it's the time, like the hormonal fluctuation, or is it that people are empty nesters? They have more time on their hands to like hear themselves think they're not so busy, maybe they're retired, you know like, is it all of it or you know the answer to that? I do.
Speaker 2:It's, it's all of it. Oh, my goodness, it's all of it. And I want to just I want to unpack a little bit of what all of it means. Because we're looking, oh my goodness, my body responded so quickly before now. I had to, like, plan things ahead of time and I had to let go things that I used to, you know, be throw myself at really quickly, like you know where I'm talking about, like adventures, for example, in sports, and you and I know that this stuff, like we're constantly setting goals for endurance and sports and things that push your body really, really hard.
Speaker 2:But now it's different. Now it's like you're having to pick and decide where to push your energy, where to put your energy. So, you know, it becomes almost like that's one area, right, it becomes. It's radical, because this is we're doing all these things against what society is actually telling us to do. Right, they have a little giant like billboard saying this is what you should do in menopause. So I go back to it's all of it. It's the existential, somewhat of an existential crisis for a lot of people, including men, even, like this is also affecting men as well, because their bodies start to change, because their bodies are changing and their testosterone drops.
Speaker 1:And then their motivation. Their want that kind of raw grind Right and they're going back, trying to stick to whatever worked before yeah.
Speaker 2:Right. So that's one right, like the existential issue the other way. The other thing is, like we have some, like I mentioned, we have some ways we dealt with difficulties as young adults, as mid-age adults and later, like if we had some things that triggered us before, that were related to unhelpful, like you know, negative thoughts about ourselves, like I gotta be the fittest person in the room, I gotta be in this. Weight rate, weight range, I gotta be. There's these expectations that have not left us, because this is the part where we continue to seek external validation. In an unconscious way, we're not really thinking, oh, I'm always seeking external validation, but it is in the end, and I think it's a moment where you sit down and say, okay, how can I be more self-compassionate? Where you sit down and say, okay, how can I be more self-compassionate? And it sounds very abstract, but it shows up in so many ways as in how not self-compassionate we are with ourselves.
Speaker 2:And this is the voice, this is the narrative that I'm talking about. That it's having some high expectations of body weight, body image, and you know, and we can go down the rabbit hole in anxiety, depression, even like isolation, keeping people, keeping yourself isolated from others, not reaching out to community, and I've seen it all in practice and it's um, it is yeah, what do you think the isolation is about?
Speaker 2:Well, that's a good question. So I could speak for women, uh, for some of the women that I've seen personally as well and I'm talking when I bring things up here, you know I'm also bringing like firsthand experiences um, I think there's a part of me and some of my clients that wants to pause, that wants to rethink goals, that wants to also give themselves time to accept the changes, accept that I don't look the same, I might look older, and I think there's somewhat of an urgency to get this done and resolve quickly, as in yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, I look at myself in the mirror now I'm using like readers and I look at myself like I might as well not wear them. I'm looking now and I see all the imperfections and all the wrinkles and my sagging skin and all that and um, and I need to do something about it quickly yeah this, this obsession with doing things quickly, medicating quickly, uh, so that I am presentable to the external world, and I think some women step outside when they go to therapy.
Speaker 2:When they're at that point that they decide to go to therapy, it's a moment where they're taking a step back from the limelight of their lives and they're trying to reevaluate, reorganize. And some of them accept.
Speaker 1:I like the reorganization.
Speaker 2:Reorganization. And I think this is where, if you are in that phase of life where you're seeking internally and you're at the point, okay, I'm going to go to therapy, to, you know, work with body acceptance and the acceptance of this process, it becomes important that you know that people understand that it's okay to take time to do that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:People around you. This is what happens and there's a pressure to get it done quickly, that get out of it quickly, that get productive quickly, either physically, mentally, emotionally, and you're going to have and I say we go back to this word a radical change. It's a radical effort for us.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because everyone around you wants you to start being the person you were, you were.
Speaker 2:Quickly, yeah, say what's wrong with you. You to start being the person you were quickly, yeah, what's wrong with you, you know. And and I say this is what I say and what I feel, and when I where, what I see my clients doing, it's like take your time. Yeah, take your time, go at your pace, live your. You know, continue to show up as the answers come in terms of how you feel about yourself, and it's going to be uncomfortable, and this is the part that a lot of clients say. I don't understand why I still feel like crap.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Why am I, why are people telling me to do this, to get on this medication, to do this, to get into this program? To you know, now we have quick fixes for everything.
Speaker 1:Of course.
Speaker 2:And I'm not saying yes. If you are very unhealthy, if you are starting from like zero, if you are having some medical issues, yes, try to follow the advice of doctors, but you can do that until you decide that, okay, I need more. I need more than just these fixes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Well, usually the quick fixes lead to something else that you have to deal with. So it's better to get to the roots? Yes, get to the roots. Get to the roots and do whatever you need to do to come to that happy place and figure out what the next step is.
Speaker 2:And, like you said, if you need to do something temporarily, that's okay, that's fine, uh, but, um, it's not the solution, you know right and I think you and me know that if we, like I and I'm going to talk about, like, for example, hrt or MHT, I mean they're important. Important that women know that, yes, there are symptoms. There are real symptoms that are very disruptive.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:In our case. I mean we talked about before about sleep for example Sleep.
Speaker 1:Sleep is huge, especially if you are a person that are an athlete Hot flashes, hot flashes when you're in In the middle of, like a meeting or or in a recording or podcast.
Speaker 2:We're talking about how like hot we were like earlier and brought my own fan, um, but yes, it's, it's, it is a tough one. It is a tough one and I say like, if you have to seek that sort of relief, you know I'm very I'm pro finding relief, but I think I want to my. What I want to say is that it's always good to also look at lifestyle changes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the roots. I am all about natural and lifestyle changes first right and then if that is not doing anything, then I'm all for exactly I I am, but that's that's with anything. I think you should try anything, anything natural and lifestyle first, no matter what you're talking about. But I do agree that they can be helpful. They can be very helpful for people and you don't have to suffer.
Speaker 2:And you don't have to suffer. So exactly I have. My sister would say why suffer?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right, but it's like you said, um, I, some people might start with a quick fix and then realize, oh my gosh, so I've. I've had people that have lost a lot of weight, for example, um, and now they have some the the body, body images, the body image issues or body acceptance, does not leave, does not leave the person immediately yeah so in those moments, okay, so maybe your body, maybe your, your, your emotions, your sensations, these things that you don't know where they come from or perhaps you know are telling you something.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's time to go back. Right, it's time to go back and see where they're coming from.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not so. Yes, I care about the image, obviously, but for me it's the functionality of my body, it's the drop in estrogen which causes some systemic inflammation, and it's the plantar fasciitis, it's the tendonitis in my knees and my elbows, it's the inflammation in my SI joint. Those are the things that bother me. More is because maybe I don't need to do endurance stuff anymore. Maybe last year I started training for the 100 miler and that's when this plantar fasciitis popped up. And part of the reason it popped up, I think, was because I was wearing a weighted vest, so it's the weight right, like because I've put on a couple of pounds. I had a weighted vest and it just, I think it set the plantar off, so I couldn't do my race.
Speaker 1:I did do, I did go and I did 25 miles in the desert at night, which was super cool um wow but you know, I've been struggling with it ever since and then it's like, well, and I love dr stacy sims yeah and I, you know she's like well, running, like we run, doesn't do anything for us so she's a big on um high intensity sprint training yes, and lift, lift, heavy lift.
Speaker 1:How do you lift heavy when it affects all your tendons and your you know? So it's super frustrating because you're like what do I do? Because, yeah, I want to do all those things. That's where I get more frustrated. And so if I say I want to lose a couple of pounds, it's because of that more than it is because of how I look. Right yeah For me, right yeah.
Speaker 2:So yeah, no I. This is a very relevant situation and issue with us and with women in midlife. I mean, some people come with issues with self-image from childhood right From teen years and especially in disorder eating and you know, and looking you know the thinnest, or looking a certain way or looking fit, like obsessions with looking extremely fit. So there's extremes, but what you're saying is something very relevant in midlife which is you. It's like system. You know system overload. Parts are coming off basically.
Speaker 2:Yeah, one by one, right. And you're thinking where is this going to lead us, right? So this is the part where I say I tell people to take a pause, yeah, and I'm not saying stop exercising.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And I'm not saying stop exercising, I'm saying mentally allow yourself to look at each skill you have, each endeavor you get yourself into separately, as in how am I was training for a hundred miles? Can I train for less and still be healthy? Can I bring down the amount or the volume and still achieve the same? Now I have to say that there's a, there's the part that you do those adjustments and then you are not where you want to be in terms of, like you know, weight and body shape or what it is, because we know now that we need more. Going back to doing more to get to a certain weight is no longer sustainable.
Speaker 2:And I guess when we talk about that with clients, there's a lot of resistance there, right, and I think this is where we get stuck. There's resistance because, ultimately, what? What would be the ultimate, tragic or catastrophe? You know, if there's a catastrophic situation not being able to exercise at the level you were used to before what is the worst case scenario for you? Is it behind it a fear that you will be not able?
Speaker 2:to exercise that you'll be sitting sedentary on a chair.
Speaker 1:And it drives me crazy.
Speaker 2:And that is terrifying.
Speaker 1:It's terrifying that I won't, that I want to be able to move. Yes, you know, I enjoy moving and I enjoy feeling strong. I think mind strength enjoy moving and I enjoy feeling strong I think mine's strength, Like when I I like feeling strong.
Speaker 1:So now I am lifting heavy, Now I did a, I did a heavyweights class yesterday. My, my plantar is much better, but, um, I still haven't done any distance, which is fine. And I've asked myself like, okay, well, I don't know if I need to do the long distances anymore. And I'm actually okay with that. You know, I still wanted to get that, that that hundred miler was my grand finale. That was really supposed to be my grand finale and um, but that didn't happen. So I, what I really love doing is traveling and trail running, and so I love going to beautiful places and running, trail running.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I'm okay with that. I'm okay. I'm thinking about going to Madeira trail running and I'm okay with that, I'm okay. I'm thinking about going to madera, um, portugal, next year and doing a race there and it's sky running, but, um, but maybe doing the 9 to 13 miles, yeah, yeah, but I, just I, but it's, but it's been a struggle like last year was a. Last year was hard on me, I was obsessed with my foot, but it is. I feel strong when I'm able to move and be mobile and lift heavy or lift weights at all. Yeah, and I know I'm watching my parents get older now and it's hard, it's really hard.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's hard, it's really hard. Yes, I say that you brought up a really good point, that it sounds like you've done sort of a process of acceptance in some areas and sort of like you know, it's been a struggle, acknowledging that it's been a struggle it's not going to look this whole transition is not going to look like all positive changes and it's not going to feel good all the time. It's going to feel like, you know, one step forward, three steps back and you're making some adjustments. I see, and in the end and I think this is where I talk about redefining sort of how we feel strong, you know, in terms of internal feeling strong and feeling athletic and all that there's other ways, you know, and there's still this disappointment of not being able to complete. You know, these major goals, because we're major goal people.
Speaker 2:Yes, we fall from that cloud, we fall a little bit hard, and then it's okay, re-evaluate, take your time, re-evaluate. Okay, so I can. Can I still feel strong doing weights? I need to go out and explore that. And I think there's a part that I really love about human, the human condition, which is you get curious about how can I still feel strong, yes, and not necessarily doing what I was doing.
Speaker 1:Yes. And I love that word curious. I use it all the time in my coaching. Let's get curious, right.
Speaker 2:Let's get curious.
Speaker 1:I coach myself a lot, like, okay, you know, I'm at a point right now where I'm really throwing myself into building Wellness, inspired in my brand, and I've never been there before Like I've, I've, I've had a pretty successful practice, uh, but now I'm really throwing myself in there because I think it's, it's fun, you know, and I'm not doing the long hours anymore. I'm not running 20 miles on Saturday, 20 miles on Sunday, so I have time and yeah, so I have found some, some relief in in that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so see, it's like this was a whole exploration for you that was like you know it's been, you know the cross you're carrying, or it's been, you know, in this transition, but it's teaching you a lot about yourself. You can still feel strong, even if it's just like some people. I have someone who just now realizes that gardening it's how she feels strong. Yeah, she's like and she's sore after you know, going down picking up grass and squatting squatting.
Speaker 2:It's like I'm getting. I'm getting my sweat. You know my sweat in Houston of? Oh my God, it's like I'm getting, I'm getting my sweat. You know my sweating in houston? Oh my god, it's like that's a whole workout here. Yeah um gardening in houston is a whole different level of thing. Um you know, because I've done some gardening. It's just not fun, not not necessarily it's not for the week not for the week, so so, yeah, so it's's.
Speaker 2:I think it's a little bit of like going back to the question, is all of it Like it's a little bit of acceptance?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's a lot of acceptance.
Speaker 2:And it's a lot of it trying different things. You know you went for the 100 miles you couldn't make, couldn't do it. Then now, okay, so go back to the drawing board. What can I do? And you just said, like you went through starting to do weight training or maybe doing more of it. There's also what we're against, you know, in society, as Afghan people, expecting us to get quickly, to fix it quickly, because this is how we operate, right, everything moves so quickly around us. Oh, you know you have plantars. Just go to the physical therapist or the doctor and then take this medication and you know.
Speaker 1:Get a shot.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then a shot every week and continue doing, you know, 80 miles, because that's the only way you can feel strong. Maybe not. Maybe it's other things. Maybe it's other things. It's listening to your body. I think in, um, in, in the ways that your body's not only talking physically. It's the way your body's telling you something, and this is the part that I love, which is the inner wisdom.
Speaker 2:Your body has inner wisdom? Yes, it does. Yeah. So what else? What else influences um this change, or can take, make move you through this change in a in a positive sort of rewarding way, and it's what we talk about all the time. Making sure, make sure that you're also playing, making sure that you're also playing making sure that you're also adding play.
Speaker 2:What makes you lose track of time? It might not be the 80 miles or the 10 miles we run this Sunday. It might be that you went on a ride with friends and it was more of a chit chat of a run.
Speaker 1:That's kind of how my runs are these days.
Speaker 2:Yeah Right, mine too. Sometimes I wish I had like a running. I'm not doing any running in clubs anymore. I wish sometimes like oh gosh, I'm looking, I need to look for a running club just to chat the whole way, just to chat. Yeah. So, different things, different things that you can continue to explore with Um. You know what else? The changes, the physical changes. It's part of that acceptance as well. Like you know my body, you know getting big. You know wide around the midsection is a big one, with some of the people that I talk to and myself as well in the mirror and accepting how you look.
Speaker 2:it's a long-term process.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It is a long-term process and even people that go and GLP-1 medications that lose weight even looking at themselves in the mirror in a new body they have a hard time.
Speaker 1:They still have a hard time, I bet because they lose the weight so quickly.
Speaker 2:Yes, so it is a long-term process and I encourage anyone who's done, has had some drastic changes in body image, to seek support for the communities. I'm sure there's tons of communities out there for people that are struggling with body image despite, you know, losing weight and things like that. But communities therapy, if you must, coaching, you know, it's not only physical and again, it's looking into what is. How do you internally validate yourself? Yeah, I have many ideas on how you can start working on internal validation, you know.
Speaker 1:Let's hear them. I think going through this change, mindset is top priority. Like mindset, yeah, like, how. Like how you're talking about things, how you're talking to yourself, how you're caring for yourself, um, it's all mindset, uh.
Speaker 2:So yeah, let's hear it, yeah, so this is some of the stuff I talked to in in sessions with some men and women that come and, you know, want to work on things that they're there. They're typically there for something major happen, right, almost almost everyone that comes is because they have some major and here's the truth major relationship issues. This is where the hit, you know, everything comes crashing down. Everything's great, I have everything under control, and then I have an issue with someone. There's some major struggle with someone else.
Speaker 2:So how do we internally validate, you know, to make our lives, I guess, find more sort of like contentment? Let's just say contentment. I'm not going to talk about happiness or finding the ultimate state, you know, of life. You know I'm talking about contentment in this transition and I think some of the things we could do is, you know, instead of fixating on perceived flaws, as in, I'm looking at myself in the mirror and I see wrinkles and I see gray hair and I see a little bit of a belly or or anything like that, or I look less fit, which is more relevant to us.
Speaker 2:Like I lose, I look less fit.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I always tell myself, I try to think about my inner qualities. I try to think about you know, what is it that I, what is it that I originally loved about myself that wasn't body related? And then I'm starting to think. I started thinking about my personality, the things that I used to be artistic and the ability to master a skill. Sometimes it's like sport. It could be sports, it could be you want to master a sport. For example, a new sport Pickleball is pretty popular now, very popular, yeah, especially among the uh, the mid-age. Yes, so mastering a sport is like anything that you do, that that creates competence, that you feel like you mastered something. Something is a way to internally validate yourself I think that's wellness inspired.
Speaker 2:For me yes, yes, yes, absolutely. So you know, learning a new language, I always say something that pushes your knowledge and your curiosity, something hard, learning how to meditate Tai Chi, you know, and I say these are the things that people are in our age pick. But there's other things.
Speaker 2:Any investments in self um will move you to, you know, to move the focus from internal deficits yeah and I mean physical, like I'm looking at myself as I have deficits physically to more of a mastery, to mastery of things that are fulfilling to you. So it sounds like simple, but it's really people don't think about.
Speaker 1:They don't, yeah, and I think those, I think they're very impactful Small things that are very impactful, that you can do. Yeah, because if you think, about.
Speaker 2:Why do you want? What are our obsession weeds with? Staying a certain way, looking a certain way?
Speaker 1:don't, don't you think that our culture that has a lot to do with that too like everybody have, yeah, half of the equation is society. It's society and the value they put on being young. Yes For women specifically.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know it affects men, but for women specifically, this obsession with having us be likable, attractive you know that you know attractive to like. Everybody wants us to remain hot.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:All for an entire, for entire lives. That's a pretty big request Request and I don't want it. I don't.
Speaker 1:I think that just makes it so much harder, yeah yeah, it's like.
Speaker 2:why is it this obsession with us remaining this hot, incredible babe forever? I?
Speaker 1:know Well, I treat some women in their late 60s and 70s and they have told me that they're like Sherry when you get to a certain age, nobody sees you, and that makes me really sad.
Speaker 2:It's a part of the grieving process. As you become invisible, you become invisible. Yes, you become invisible, you become invisible, yes, and that's why there's for people that are doing the inner work, there's a part in the stage where you start feeling like, well, I'm invisible physically to the world. This is time for my voice to be heard.
Speaker 1:That's why I'm here, that's why I'm here talking to you.
Speaker 2:I love that. You know the world's like yes, and I agree. I love that Like I don't. You know the world's like yes, and I agree. You become invisible.
Speaker 1:You may not see me, but you will hear me, you will hear me and you know how it is.
Speaker 2:With this age, you know you become more vocal about things that are important to you. Yeah, yeah, you, you're the perfect example. I mean coming and talk. You know, getting together and talking about these things is so important, and I totally agree that society also wants us to solve our problems individually.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And you know, get it, get quick, get done with the program quickly. You know, look great, wear that bikini in the summer. Get that, you know. Race done, race done. Sign up for three races this year. Everybody's picking, everybody wants our attention basically our money.
Speaker 1:Everybody wants our money.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I would say you have to step back and take that pause that I was talking about earlier to decide what is worth your energy and what is going to really bring the more authentic part of you right. Yeah, you know I I'm tired of this race against a race toward looking great and, uh, looking young, yeah, um, and and I think half of it is that is society fighting for our attention yeah in the way marketing capitalism does, but no, with us.
Speaker 2:It's like you know. I know there's a sentiment out there for women that want to age naturally but, it's radical, it's still seen as radical.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's unfortunate.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know I can see both sides Because I think a lot about wellness and longevity and I think there is a natural desire to live longer, just by biologically like we just want to live longer.
Speaker 1:I think that's just part of our race against we just that's just who we are as a species. It's part of life. We want to grow and stay relevant and alive as long as we can, and I'm all about longevity. I do think that you know a lot of products out there don't do what they claim to do, and so I think you have to sift through a bunch of stuff. But you know, when I think about longevity, like I want to be long, I want to live long, like and healthy as long as I can. You know like, yeah, and so I, I, I have a foot on both sides of the fence and you must you have to too yeah, if you live in reality, yeah, and you're in this world, like mentally, you know, and you're going through this process.
Speaker 2:You gotta, you have a foot on both sides.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I definitely have a foot on both sides and I um. I also think that as an acupuncturist and somebody who does herbal medicine and lifestyle changes like I'm very big on lifestyle I also see the value in the Western way with certain things right and we are living longer because of-.
Speaker 1:Because of the medical Right, and so I do have again a foot on both sides. But I think you have to have the self-knowledge of where's your line and what's okay with you, because I do think that the wellness industry is full of a lot of chatter.
Speaker 2:They have all the answers. They have all the answers, all the quick fixes and all the quick fixes.
Speaker 1:So I'm all about real wellness, but I definitely can see the value in some of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I agree with you, it's, we're not. Yeah, I'm not. You know, I would say, I like to talk about doing things because I am also a believer in trying something natural first.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:And if it doesn't work, if it's becoming unbearable, then definitely go for something that will be provide some relief. Yeah, but I want people to understand that I'm not saying, do that in that order, but consider, like you said, consider the what's out there, because we are very intelligent, we have things that have. I mean, we evolve, we have evolved and we have some wisdom in our in our genes. For example, I came across some really interesting information, uh, because I do a lot of reading of research with menopause and anxiety, which is what I kind of want to specialize in and continue to work towards.
Speaker 2:Anxiety during menopause is where, of course, we know that the estrogen and hormones keep us sort of safe from anxiety. Some people still experience anxiety, but when you lose your hormones, all these things come up, and anxiety is one of the things that comes up in with clients. But a lot of the anxieties because, of course, you had it previously before, even before you were a mid-age adult, but there's some. There's some things that I came across reading about anxiety and I was thinking now the anxieties are new, like we were talking about, thinking about aging, my immune system, my ability to repair, uh, muscle uh, uh, come back from illness.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Those things are real concerns of us in aging. Uh, but I have anxiety over that. And a lot of women that come to me have anxiety over their their health.
Speaker 1:They have. They have anxiety over their health.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, so, but I what I and I went? Of course, I know there's some things we know that you know, once we lose hormones, we can go on HRT and extend our, our, our longevity. This is how it's being marketed to us and it's there's some real compelling research that points in that direction. But I want, I want it's like there's got to be more, because hrt has been something that has been around only for what? 50, 60 years, maybe more. It's somewhat of a new thing. How are women still living longer than men?
Speaker 1:Because the average you know the grandma effect.
Speaker 2:Yes, so there's that five to seven year extension for women Purpose, purpose. There's one Community having meaning in community, so that's a major aspect. Just the research that I've looked at talks about that.
Speaker 1:Even if it's just taking care of a grandkid. Yes, it doesn't have to be something that you're going to change the world and impact the world.
Speaker 2:Right, absolutely. Just caring for a child, helping your niece or a grandkid, or taking, even taking care of dogs. It could be anything.
Speaker 2:It could be anything that is meaningful, and what I'm trying to say is that HRT is one aspect. Hormones replacing hormones for longevity is just one aspect of longevity. And what's fascinating to me and it was like the ultimate paradox was that estrogen even when you stop producing estrogen, your immune function, the memory of the immune function you had before, stays with you and it was like what? Yes, so we do have stronger immune function before menopause, of course, because we're a caring child and this is the way evolution has prepared us. So major protectors, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:To the female body. But there's an imprint of immune memory, oh interesting, and that makes this is the hormonal imprint kind immune memory, oh interesting, and that makes this is the hormonal imprint kind of memory part right. So it makes you it builds like a more robust pool of memory cells, immune cells. So what that means is that you retain better adaptive immunity even without hormones. I wonder if that has anything to do with the gut biome.
Speaker 2:I am 100%, you know, totally believe that the gut biome, the gut-brain biome, the axis gut-brain axis is fundamental in well-being.
Speaker 2:And of course now we know with glb medication, jumping into that topic that nutrition, what you eat, how you eat, how much you eat and everything has direct impact on on your body, your weight and everything else. It's like before, we thought the more we exercise, the more we can, you know, stay. But no, it's more about the amount of food you, the type of food you intake nutrition, nourish feeling, nourish feeling. So the paradox for me was fascinating because it's an example of how lifespan is determined by a mix of not only the hormones but biology, environment and behavior.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, you talk about community. That's huge, huge.
Speaker 1:The Blue Zones? Wasn't that part of the Centurions? Yes, that community was something they found in all of the areas.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the community living, preparing food for others, sharing meals sharing food preparation In those communities, some of them growing the food, and, if you think about it, these have been like women's jobs for millennia. Yeah, and they live longer were there were no hormones to make them live longer. And I'm just saying again, hormones are important, but it's not the end goal, not the quick fix, right? So I love the blue zone. Uh, you know the, the documentaries on the blue zones. It's fascinating and I'm like you know I should should go back to eat the stuff that I was eating back home when I was in Puerto Rico, because it was like a lot of legumes and I was never too big on animal meat but I used to eat plenty of protein through legumes and fruits and vegetables.
Speaker 2:And it's like why can't I go back to that diet?
Speaker 1:Well.
Speaker 2:I try, I try, I try and it didn't work. Sometimes it's just harder here to do because of course you know you got to intentionally make these trips to the supermarkets that have the stuff that you want to eat. You know, stay away from the intersection of the supermarket. You know it's like Stay on the outer Supermarket 101,. Stay on the outside.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I always now look at where food is coming from, like is this built, is this produced in? You know it's like mangoes, but they're produced in whatever you know like. So I'm looking at the regions. After coming from Spain, I actually started looking where's my food coming from. You know so more conscious about stuff like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think you should be right. We need to be conscious of those kinds of things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I mean, I think I mean, with menopause, it's like a lot of it, at the end of the day, is finding some peace with the decisions you are slowly or gradually making. Yeah, right, so because you have to acknowledge and embrace that there are physical and emotional changes. Um, the emotional changes, for example, are what was some of the the things that I work the most with clients is that because you have an inner fire to speak up and to you know, to say here I've been caring for everyone and I've been looking at what everybody else needs work, family, husband, relatives. You know even your own causes, relatives, you know even your own causes. Like I was realizing how we make everything a chore. You know, as women, and you have to look at that too. Like how society expects us to make everything our chore. Yeah, and it's so ingrained in our brains, right, and then step back, take a step back. Are you now like for? For example, I volunteered for many years for this organization and then I realized, towards the end, it's like I'm tired I'm tired.
Speaker 2:I know they need me, but it's time for me to take a break, you know and and then now I go when I feel like I want to go yeah um, why making things a chore right? There's plenty of stuff like that out there yeah so you know, shifting that perspective, shifting the sort of like really learn to step back, take a pause and rest yeah to see what is.
Speaker 2:What is it that you really need? Because we have wisdom that comes from our grandparents or from ancestors from thousands of years back. We're not going to throw that in the trash because somebody's telling me that you know that. Just get this product and you'll be happy, and young and vibrant.
Speaker 1:This is the solution to all your problems. This one product.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it becomes a process of re-evaluating my relationship with my body and find peace with the aging process, there's a lot of acceptance there, right?
Speaker 1:yeah, that's what I I'm I'm hearing like that's the number one thing acceptance and the other thing I'm hearing is, um, take the time and do the inner work do the inner work work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and also understand that it's radical in the sense that we are not being told to do these things. We hear from everyone that they have their solution. The solution is internal.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree with that, 100%, 100%. Yeah, I think the internal work is super important and I have started. It's been about a year now that I have started meditating more. I've kind of become, I re kind of found my, my spiritual part. Um, I lost it for a little while. I used to be super spiritual when I lived in Austin and when I came back to Houston it was just a different mindset here and I started my clinic and I was trying to grow it and you know I'm close to the med center. So this clinic is not well, houston, I should say, is not as open to spirituality as Austin was, you know, when I went to school, like we were all that way.
Speaker 1:You know, we were all that way in Austin, but that's not accepted here very much, and so I think I kind of pushed it to the side. But last year, I think, my mom went through some health issues and I was like something's got to change, like I don't know what's going on here. It is, but something has to change, and so I started. I've always been into mindful meditation, but I've been a lot kind of exploring a lot deeper in the past year. Uh, so trying to do that work, trying and probably because I'm in that change as well, and so I was trying to figure things out and I knew I knew I needed to sit with myself and, uh, just do do the work.
Speaker 2:You know, um, and it's been, it's been really good yeah, so that's a good example of how your environment can make an impact on you. As in you say you were more spiritual in another environment. Here you're, and it's a little bit of an example of how society works with aging right Like it's hard. It's really hard to not feel self-conscious or feel bad about yourself when you're trying to make things. You're trying to make decisions and set goals from an internal space. It's so hard when your environment is not?
Speaker 1:supportive yeah.
Speaker 2:So it goes back to the community, finding the like-minded communities. Where are the women that are listening to their inner wisdom? Where are the women that also wanted to do natural, or emphasize natural, um inner wisdom or natural ways? Right, yeah where are they? You know, I I don't see a lot of a lot of.
Speaker 1:I had to dig, dig and look for sources well, that's one of the things I really like about Dr Stacey Sims.
Speaker 2:She's an example of having a foot in medical and having a foot in more natural lifestyle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and she looks fantastic. I don't know how old she is, but she looks fantastic. I think she's I think she's, I'm not sure.
Speaker 2:I thought she was older than us, but I think she looks. I mean, she and everybody she has on her podcast are like looking amazing and they're all our age.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I think I like that she started her whole like movement towards women with her research Of course she was one of the first people that started putting research out for women being different. I think her.
Speaker 1:TED talk was women are not small men, they're not small men. She's an athlete or she trains athletes, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yep, and we don't recover the same from. We recover in different ways. We're not supposed to be. We feed differently. The way we eat is differently, the way we thermoregulate is differently. So she was the precursor to all that right. She was the one who started to say hey.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she is, and I think she's against. I don't want to say too much about it because I haven't read up on it, but I think I heard her say that she is against cold therapy for women.
Speaker 2:Yes. So she's also going out there and say, hey, all these fads, all these things that are working for some people, hey, got to work or got to study how they affects, how this affects women, that it's a fad. That is just now. You know what it's when it's a fad when your your algorithm on the, on your reels or on tiktok or whatever when you get constantly receive the same messages over and over and over um, or anyone who claims that look, do these three things and you'll.
Speaker 2:You know, like whatever, wherever I see somebody telling me that, do these three things and your life will change, I was like oh my gosh, you know silence that.
Speaker 1:Curate your social media.
Speaker 2:Curate the heck out of social media.
Speaker 1:I think you said before we started that that's the first thing that you might recommend to somebody is to get off social media.
Speaker 2:Do it temporarily. Do it permanently do it permanently, take breaks from it. It always helps.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know it's interesting For my business. I feel like I need to be on social media and I go through these phases where I'll jump on it for a little bit and then I just get tired of being on it and I don't even get on Facebook that often anymore. I'm on Instagram instagram.
Speaker 2:It kind of, in a subtle, unconscious way, it kind of takes away from me, depletes you.
Speaker 1:That's how I feel, and even for my business it's like they want you to engage on their platform. So much just to be seen, and it's just crazy about.
Speaker 2:Think about like you want your listeners and your followers to be people that truly connect with you. Right Like you're not a piece of candy, right? No, you are. What I'm saying is like, yeah, I just like I feel like it's important that this is part of the. This is part of what we should embrace, what we offer, what we have to put out and offer in the world our voices, our essence, if it comes from an authentic, true self and with this inner wisdom, the people that will be in our tribe, in our communities, will be drawn to us by that you don't want to do.
Speaker 2:I know you have. Yes, you have to engage more video, engage more with. You know the algorithm or whatever, but you still have to put out authentic work. Right yes, so it is a challenge, but I know you're there. I know you're there and you're doing it. I see, you know. I see what you're producing, yeah, so, and your there and you're doing it. I see what you're producing, yeah, so, and your warm toxor itself as well. She's a great acupuncturist. Oh why? Thank you, I still need to come and get my session.
Speaker 1:I'm here. Yes, I need to. I'm here. I just signed another lease. Oh, wow, okay, great. So I'll be here for at least another year. I am trying to grow wellness inspired, so we'll see where that is in a year. But, I'm having a lot of fun because I love the coaching as well, so it's just a nice. I've been doing acupuncture for a really long time and I need a little bit of a shift, you know. I'm rethinking things.
Speaker 1:And you have different needs when you get older as well. Right, exactly, accepting what comes yeah yeah, I, I need I think about my parents and, um, they're getting older and I'm an only child, and so I would like more freedom to not have to be in the clinic, yeah because if I'm not here, I don't make money, and if my parents, if I need to go?
Speaker 1:my mom had a couple of health things and I kind of started thinking about all of that where it was like what, if, what, if I needed to spend more time there, like, yeah, and what am I going to do?
Speaker 2:right, so those are adjustments, this is their adjustment, yeah so I had to start thinking of some other things.
Speaker 1:And and then just more freedom to do what I want to do.
Speaker 2:Right, right, and those are some major changes that you have to start thinking, I mean yeah, yeah, and I noticed.
Speaker 1:you know I love Chinese medicine, but, yeah, it's time to make a little bit of a shift.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:For my own sanity and yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I'm so glad you are making these changes for yourself. I mean, this is part, this is the good part, this is the part where, like you move towards what, like your body's, your true essence, right, you know you have parents, you know you want to be close to them and in the end, I mean, if you think about about it, relationships are almost one of the most important things.
Speaker 1:One of the most yeah important things, I feel like for most people yeah I'm sure there's some, some people out there, some people that are really hermits and loners yeah and you can heal in isolation, but I think the ultimate healing and finding your way and your truth is through relationships as well. Yeah, 100%.
Speaker 2:I agree with that.
Speaker 1:So I have something I want to do. Okay, I want to do like a rapid fire for menopause and I'm going to ask you maybe a few questions and just rattle off some stuff. Okay, Okay, you ready, I'm ready, okay, okay, you ready, I'm ready, okay.
Speaker 2:Best thing about menopause I love when they ask me questions like that, because there's so many good things that I've. It's taken me four or five years to get to this point where I can kind of get a feel for what's amazing about menopause. I feel like for me personally and for some of the clients that I see, it's a realization that it's okay to be more you and it's a realization that, like you, don't have to be there for everyone around you that you are. It's a moment of self-prioritization and, even if you're not fully aware of it, everything points to take care of yourself.
Speaker 1:And that radical? I guess that's the radical acceptance.
Speaker 2:And then the radical acceptance and you have and here's where it's really amazing is like not having I would say not having estrogen flowing constantly through my body. Is that I have? It's like a veil has been removed from me, trying to pretend to care for like every little detail in my life. As in now, I don't have to be to care for like every little detail in my life, as in now, um, I don't have to be liked as much, I don't have to be accepted as much. It becomes a mission of how much more can I accept myself? Right, and of course, you know you, you do have your conflicts and things with you know loved ones and things like that, and and they somewhat see a different person because you used to be more compliant, or, but now it's like I really do, I really need to be accepted, um, understood all the time.
Speaker 2:Do I have to over-explain myself? I? It's a sense of, it's something that I can't fully describe, that it's like I don't have to. Yeah, I don't have to really. So I become my, my, my mission is to be understand myself more every day, and this that this has happened to me as I transitioned from perimenopause to menopause more towards menopause than perimenopause, because perimenopause to menopause, more towards menopause than perimenopause, because perimenopause we can have another whole podcast on it. It was tumultuous.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:This is a time where you are really not sure what's happening.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's when you're at the beginning of the acceptance. It's like wait what just happened?
Speaker 2:But there's a lot of denial there's yes, there's denial.
Speaker 1:You don't want to talk about it. Like it like yes it gets.
Speaker 2:It's a hard, it's definitely a hard stage, but I guess in menopause.
Speaker 1:You've you've gone through the the phases and then you're in that acceptance phase and then you go. Oh, who gives a shit?
Speaker 2:Exactly so. In a very short way of saying it and in like quick terms, you know you give less of a shit, so, yes, but it's true. It's true there's a sense of like being comfortable in your own skin, but more than ever, because I've been comfortable in my skin in the past on and off as a woman, but not at this level and people that, if you are in perimenopause, my advice is like if you want to start thinking about how to process and how to work towards getting to a good place physically, mentally, emotionally talk to someone who's been through menopause, who's already post-menopausal and has been menopausal for a few years, because it's not like we know more or we're better. It's just that you're higher in the mountain and the person coming in perimenopause is like a little lower in the mountain and you can see if you're rock climbing, you can see the grooves and you can see a little bit more what's happening and you have more information ahead yeah so it's.
Speaker 2:It's not about being better or less or or having more wisdom. Honestly, it's just because we see a little more. We've seen the process, we've seen the process of transition and we struggled and you come. I think if you give it time, like I mentioned, to rest, peace and sort of like a pause to process and do everything we've talked about here, you'll become more yourself. Uh, even with the pressure society puts on you, even with some pressures from loved ones and and people wanting you to go back to who you were, I think you end up going into falling into your own self. You know in your own authentic self more and I think that's it's been. It's been very good for me. I mean, it's been very good. I love it. This is the part where, like, can I tell you that menopause is not that bad in the end?
Speaker 1:Well, I always suggest when it shows up in the clinic. I always guide people to resources so they can surround themselves with people.
Speaker 1:Support system the support system and hear other women talk. So I think that's huge for sure, but I like that. So you become more authentically you. So what would someone need to do to make sure or move in that direction to when they do cross over into menopause and to be more authentically them? I say do the work. But what else like what? What do people need to do? Because I'm sure there are people that cross over that don't hit right, no, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2:It's like some of the people, some of the clients, yeah, that I come around. Um, there's so many layers, yeah, there's so many layers. This is the part where I say your body, your emotions will get the best of you. Yeah, right, so you've been in a caretaker role to everyone around you. For example, you went through the turmoil. You have so much more anxiety. You perhaps are depressed or high functionally depressed. You're going about your job, you, you perform, you get a little mental, you know, and then you start getting symptoms. Um, and once you're. But once you understand and you seek help, you get on hrt, you go to your doctors, you perhaps start going to therapy. What's going to happen is that you're going to realize that you haven't been setting the boundaries. So the boundaries that keep you, you haven't sat down with setting the right boundaries around the people around you in terms of what you need.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of like looking at what our needs are yeah so a lot of people sit down and talk to me and say you know, I didn't know that on Saturdays, um, I needed a half an hour to just go through these. You know, these poems that I've been wanting to read.
Speaker 1:I've been postponing it.
Speaker 2:You know I'm talking about people that like reading poems and yeah, um I I didn't know I needed time for creativity, I didn't know. It's like life for me was work, coming home, kids, now older adults, aging parents again goes back to I didn't know. I was concerned about managing people's emotions all the time so that I have felt some sense of control. You know, for us, like people that need control, like I would say, anxiety and control and the fear of uncertainty is huge.
Speaker 2:So it's a realization that there's so many layers of things that triggers us every day and it's like how do you know? Well, I get this horrible anxiety tight chest.
Speaker 2:Of course, if you have a tight chest, always check, make sure it's not something you know like biological or medical, but if you're constantly feeling in a state of semi-panic or it comes up frequently, yes, HRT medication works for stuff like that, but panic and almost anxiety and panic and anxiety attacks in our age sometimes, a lot of the times, have like a you know a base in like emotional dysregulation.
Speaker 1:Well and half of the anti-anxiety meds don't work.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Like I think one in five work for someone.
Speaker 2:And we know that, for, I mean, I think the research still points to the best thing for anxiety is medication plus therapy.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So therapy and medication. But you and I know that there's more stuff. We know we're more holistic in our thinking. We know that you got to be exercising, you got to be resting, you got to be resting, you got to be sleeping well, you got to be eating right. So we add on all that. But in therapy when people come, I think what they realize, that the layers they have to remove have to do with the things that they haven't addressed which is many times emotional stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, like, okay, so I got triggered every day by my boss or I really feel like I'm a conveyor belt every day. Well, and then I get a lot of people that tell me excuses, right, they come and like, oh, my job depends on me, they depend on me, my employees depend on me, and I say, well, yeah, but do do they really? Do you really have to be there for everyone?
Speaker 2:and then looking at how you have not been setting boundaries around that, yeah so it's just layers and layers and layers, that sometimes go all the way to trauma. Yeah, like you know, the first born child. Yeah, the the um first born daughter syndrome. Like you feel like you have to care for others, otherwise you'll see, your core belief is that you're unloved.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, so we can go all those beliefs. Yeah, we can go all the way to the root, basically.
Speaker 1:Okay, I have another one. What is the most underrated therapy tool?
Speaker 2:Underrated? That's a great question, sherry. A great question, I think, journaling, journaling, I think journaling, writing, writing a word, like you know, even if it's just three words, that you felt. Now, for some people, sometimes people that don't have a whole range of emotions that they can identify, it might require some. Okay, look at here, what does that feel like? And then you have to explore with them how much is their emotional repertoire right, but once you identify what your repertoire is of emotions, writing whatever comes up. I am not a writer and I began doing my own work, right when I started school because therapy is a required therapy.
Speaker 2:I guess you know people sometimes don't know that, but writing just writing, journaling, writing in post-it notes keeping word files, audio you know, dictating, or like recording my sister records on her phone and she goes back and she re-listens to it.
Speaker 1:She listens to it. When I journal, I never go back and read. It's more of just a brain dump.
Speaker 2:It somehow does its job and tell me what happens when you journal. What ends up happening, Because it's different for everyone, but it always provides us in. I mean, there's a psychological effect that happens. It's like once it's externalized.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's for me, Like I. Just it's a brain dump for me, it's a brain dump. Yeah, like I just dump and then I don't know if I ever go back and ever read it.
Speaker 2:You needed that brain dump in that moment, if I ever go back and ever read it. You needed that brain dump in that moment. Yeah, Maybe years from now you'll go back and go wow, I was really struggling back then. And this is where I say go back to when people that have journaled the entire lives sometimes they go back into what would the former self would have think about this, and then they see their progress, they say, wow, I can't make.
Speaker 1:I used to feel this way about myself, and now it's different so, yeah, it's nice, because sometimes, uh, change is slow and you don't recognize it and exactly you feel like you haven't changed at all. So if you can go back and and see like, oh, wow, yeah yeah, exactly that's a point.
Speaker 2:Change is slow and sometimes we need some way we need witnesses right. So if we don't have a community, we don't have a loved one, we don't have a best friend. If it's something like you want to write songs, if you want to rap some people like.
Speaker 1:I've seen everything.
Speaker 2:Sing, yeah, you can sing, do whatever you want, everything you want. But yeah, I would say, yeah, brain dump is a good way to put it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, number three what grounds you when you're spiraling?
Speaker 2:Oh, wow, I love those questions. I love those questions. I love these questions For me. I go back to my essence. I like dancing and music when I feel the most despair. If I put some music on and if I feel compelled to dance, I'll dance, but it's just listening to music Like I run with music. I would not do any running without music Really. Yeah, I need music for running. Running is hard for me. It's funny. It's not like I was saying running is not natural for me, but I do love it after you're done.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I had someone once this is when I was doing a bunch of ultras he's like what do you listen to to pump you up, and what do you listen to when you run? I'm like nothing, my husband. And he's like what? You don't listen to anything? And I'm like no, I don't.
Speaker 2:My husband is the same. He doesn't need any music for running. Yeah, for me it's just music gets me on a zone, gets me on that emotionally regulated state, and it almost always works.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if I'm by myself I will put music on sometimes, but if I'm doing an altar I'm in a race and so I don't ever. You know, I just enjoy the people around me and the quiet and the peace when I'm by myself.
Speaker 2:In those races. I imagine that there's so much to absorb. There's so much, yeah, and you're just on the.
Speaker 1:I love the sound of my foot, my feet, when.
Speaker 2:I'm running on the path. Wow Okay.
Speaker 1:And sometimes, if I'm listening to music and it's the wrong beat, it frustrates me, especially if I'm tired, because I feel like I'm being pressured.
Speaker 2:If it's like maybe too fast, that's a great great, really interesting thing, yeah, so rhythm.
Speaker 1:Rhythm is yeah, if it's too fast and I'm tired, I just get frustrated and I'm like just turn it off, just turn it off. Just turn it off, you know, because I feel that rhythm like, almost like a metronome.
Speaker 2:It just helps you, you know, move, and then I guess it gets you and it keeps you in the zone yeah, the. I like hearing my feet okay, yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 2:I mean I think that's great, yeah, great to hear um. So, yeah, I mean, I think for me music is pretty powerful, but I grew up in Puerto Rico, I grew up around music. I still feel like now my new thing is that I'm discovering. Now it's interesting you're talking about that because I've discovered some music recently that perfectly match my cadence and I'm beginning to experiment with that.
Speaker 1:Interesting.
Speaker 2:And it was like trap and reggaeton.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 2:Yeah, believe it or not, you know, bad Bunny Bad Bunny, you know, is a sensation Now, like the super famous trap artist that. And then I realized that the music has this beat. That is the same pace that I usually my comfortable pace.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I'm beginning to you you know, test that out and like oh, it's like dancing, like it's like you, it's hard to you know, do the like a waltz to a, to a rap song, right, like it just doesn't mix. It doesn't mix. But if you, I can see, if you have the right music or the right tempo with your cadence, that it could be more like a dance where it's yeah, maybe I need to find some music that's.
Speaker 2:Yeah, depending on what. Is it the purpose of my rhythm? Yeah, on the workout, like, if you want to do like tempo, okay, you just really look at. I'm sure people do that like.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm sure they do it for cycling.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Like I'm sure people do it for cycling. Okay, like, uh, I'm sure people do it for running too. I guess I'll have to.
Speaker 2:I usually I just pick songs that I like, but yeah then also, I mean, there's some people that come and and I have a few clients who brought up music and I said, yeah, bring music, bring music. Let's look at the, the sounds, the beats and the in the lyrics. Sometimes they get really into the lyrics. Usually people that are not not don't have a lot of. I'm not going to generalize, but there's been cases where I've had a client that does not have a lot of insight into their own difficulties but they do bring, for example, a piece of music and we talk about it and it's like poems and we talk about what the meaning of the lyrics to them Interesting and that gets them into this sort of emotional state. That is not necessarily knowing that, like we know, you know the stuff like oh my triggers, my core beliefs and my trauma and my attachment issues.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, so not everybody comes knowing all these things. Yeah, and I don't expect anyone to know these things.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But I work with anything that people bring. That's why. That's why I love doing this, because you really try to match energy yeah you know match what they're gonna bring, what you're the expert in your life, you know what you, the tools you've used in the past. You just asked me that you know. Know what helps me. Ground Is music for me, something else for you. Or it could be rhythm, it could be anything else so yeah.
Speaker 1:Sounds like you meet people where they are.
Speaker 2:I try to meet them where they are. It almost always works Almost.
Speaker 1:We're also human. Right, we're also human. Okay, one last question, and then we can wrap it up Something you used to believe about wellness but no longer do.
Speaker 2:Yes, so I got to think about this one. Yeah, I would assume that this is a question where I just have to put my mind in one of them, because there's so many. I thought, you know, before entering menopause.
Speaker 2:I'm going to go back to before menopause, because menopause, just you know, served as a sort of an awakening right so I would say that when I was younger, a young adult, or in my 30s and 40s, I thought wellness was really about, you know, eating well, just eating well, and exercising and living a stress-free life. Now my mindset, my mindset, is different. I feel like wellness is more as a unique search for, for internal peace, and that could be playing with your dog, that could be. It doesn't have to be exercise, nutrition, hormones. It doesn't have to be these things that everybody prescribes for wellness. It's a unique mix of personal things that have worked in the past and then new things that you might discover when you're struggling right, when you find yourself going to therapy, when you find yourself coming to a wellness coach, when you find yourself coming for acupuncture. So you have to be mindful and be aware of when that happens. So it's very unique Wellness is very unique.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've heard all kinds of crazy wow, so you do love for wellness.
Speaker 1:Wow. It's very unique and part of wellness inspired. I'm developing a method, a structure for people to use and to make it uniquely me. I love adventure and I think that we should look at wellness as an adventure, and I think that there are risks, there are unknowns, and we have to try things on and see what works for us, because what works for me might not work for you, and so it is a process of exploring and discovering.
Speaker 2:That curiosity.
Speaker 1:And that curiosity of what it is that you need and I'm applying this to everyone who wants to make healthy change, but definitely in this phase of your life as well. I think it's really important and it's you know, wellness doesn't come in a bottle.
Speaker 2:It doesn't.
Speaker 1:And it can be helpful, maybe for you, depending on what, what it is you're trying to accomplish, but really it does start inside and it is a process of, of exploring exploring who you are and what brings wellness to you so totally agree with that.
Speaker 2:That is awesome, that is great that you're um, that you're making the structure for that, because in the end, like the other person, the client is the expert right Like and you want to bring some of their creative resources that used in the past and that could be like in my case, music it might be. You know, I like being in nature I like adventure. I'm with you to play adventure. That's where I seek discomfort like that controllable, controllable discomfort that I seek is to play an adventure. Yeah, but I understand that perfectly I know, I know exactly what you're saying.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, but for some people, some people like my daughter, for example she doesn't not like to be outside sweating all the time like she's more like a sick discomfort in other ways but adventure for me and this is one of the things I'm refining is because I feel like when you say adventure, most people think, oh, I'm gonna go climb a mountain. Right, right, no, you're right, but it could be maybe you like to try different restaurants. You know you can be adventurous in a lot of different ways, so I am exploring that because I get that feedback. They're like I don't like to you know adventure is like Ironman.
Speaker 1:Ironman or climbing ultras or climbing Everest, or you know, it's like no, no, no, it's adventure can be trying new things you know, or leaving that comfort zone right.
Speaker 2:Leaving that comfort zone and some people is very subtle, yeah, and other people, like your husband like my husband is like the he has no, he's in Mongolia.
Speaker 1:Mongolia is hiking mountains. Yeah, like he's a make the love doesn't work.
Speaker 2:Youwork, you know the anxiety center, that he is non-functional, so no, but there's the extremes, of course. Yeah, but it's good to make that point. That adventure it could be small doses, small steps of leaving a comfort zone. It could be local, here, going to restaurants.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is. It's leaving that comfort zone, trying something new, exploring, discovering and, I think, adventure. There's an excitement that comes along with that, because in wellness we, I think, see it as a checklist.
Speaker 2:And a chore. A chore, making things a chore right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that we have to do, and in that it becomes a job. And who wants to do that Not?
Speaker 2:at this age, right.
Speaker 1:but if you look, at it as an adventure, like maybe there's a little bit more excitement that goes behind that right, and then also you might take some wrong turns Right.
Speaker 2:And that's okay too.
Speaker 1:Like you don't have to like put it all down. It's that all or nothing mentality, Like well, if that didn't work, I might as well just throw my hands up, you know.
Speaker 2:Right, right. So yeah, I mean, I guess it's like giving yourself the sort of like be flexible with yourself, be flexible. It's like psychological flexibility Yep, keep yourself open. So that's the whole definition. I think that goes with the definition of adventure, which is it can work out, it might not work out.
Speaker 1:Yep, and that's okay.
Speaker 2:That's okay.
Speaker 1:There's something to be learned in all of it, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I love that. Well, let's just wrap it up with one more question what's one message you want women in midlife to walk away with?
Speaker 2:So I always I'm going to try to be concise, right, I'm trying to keep it. You know, sort of you know I want to say that it's inevitable, it's going to be a stage of life. It's not going to be easy.
Speaker 1:It's not going to be easy.
Speaker 2:It's not going to be like I asked my mom. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know, I was so busy. It's going to bring discomfort, but there's also opportunities to get to know yourself better. Opportunities to get to know yourself better and I say I don't say it in a superficial sort of like you know, I'll, you know, decide that I like different color or different foods. I say more as in an opportunity to become more you, to remove the layers that kept you in a role as a woman and I always say caretaker, but I mean caring for others.
Speaker 2:We do in a subconscious way. You're constantly managing others' emotions and you're constantly, sort of like, tippy-toeing around the world to be able to be perceived as a caring person. Take all that energy and shift the focus towards you. Do the same, put the same effort towards yourself, because in the end, what comes out is a more real you, a more authentic yourself, you. I'm more real you. I'm more authentic yourself, you.
Speaker 2:So it becomes sort of almost like this is my person comes out, it's like this is who I was before my entire lifetime went by. This is who I was, and you kind of remember. You go back to some of your essence, like was I an introvert, you know an introverted person before? Yes, I was, but we I pretended that I wasn't for so many years. Now I don't care whether, how am I perceived? Am I? Am I an adventurous person and I was putting it aside, putting it, you know, putting it as in, you know putting in the drawer. But I really have this need for adventure and I'm going to go travel and I'm going to do these things or I'm going to venture out and take a dance class or dance lesson or learn Tai Chi or whatever.
Speaker 2:It's just you know, it's really, in the end, an opportunity to become more you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, forever I love that this is not going to leave you, yeah, forever.
Speaker 2:I love that this is not going to leave you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a huge benefit. Huge win, huge win.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I love that. Anything else, how can people find you if they want to work with you? So?
Speaker 2:well, thank you again for inviting me. You know it's, I am at Bissonette on Bissonette, but basically I have a practice and if you want to reach me and can I give a phone, can I say a phone? I'll put it in the show notes.
Speaker 1:I'll put all your information in the show notes.
Speaker 2:If they want to find me, they can also find me at like through my website. It's soulandsuncom, soul and son. So that's s-o-u-l and s-u-n dot com. It's my website and this is where all my counseling and coaching information is. There's a form there. They can fill out the form. If they want to inquire about you know, I usually offer a 15 minute free intro call, could be video, could be phone call. So, because we want to make sure that we're a good fit for each other, sure, I'm not going to work. You know, we got to get to know each other a little bit to see if we can work together. Yeah, so I do that and you can do that through email me, through the website.
Speaker 1:You could also call me and yeah, give me the number and I'll put your and anything else you want me to put on the in the show notes. In that way It'll just, it'll live there.
Speaker 2:It's fairly easy. Just reach out by email or phone and I will schedule you for an intercall. Yeah, and I love my work and I just hope I'm able to help more women.
Speaker 1:I feel like I've been on this journey with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's like we sort of have, like we've been doing this for like four, three, four years.
Speaker 2:It's the three. Yeah, the podcast will be, uh, three years old this october and I I've been in menopause for two. So you, I met you in the in the height of my perimenopause, but I met you way before well, we met. We met like younger, when we were younger yeah, I was in my 40s.
Speaker 1:Dave uh introduced us and then you did the pup sport logo. I did.
Speaker 2:I've done work for you. You know, like that stuff, you're the only, one of the only clients I still work for like I used to be a graphic designer.
Speaker 1:I was gonna reach out to you because I need to change my, my my flyer that you did okay okay, so I almost, I almost uh gave up on my membership to adobe products.
Speaker 2:So you, gotta reach out quickly so, um, no, but yeah, I used to be a graphic designer, so, um, I still do minimal work, but it's for people like you, uh people that I still like their brands, and uh, friends that you know reciprocate and you know my support system, sort of speak.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, reach out if you need to. Okay, I'll do that. Well, thank you again. I always love talking to you. Same here and you'll have to come back. I would love to with another. It looks like we're doing it once a year.
Speaker 2:Once a year. Yes, yes, I would love to come back.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all right. Well, thanks everyone. Thanks. If you like what you hear, please subscribe to the podcast and share with your family and friends. You can also give me a rating and review wherever you listen to your podcast. It helps others find me as well.
Speaker 1:To get updates on new episodes and wellness inspiration in your inbox, please join the wellness inspired community. Go to the wellness inspired podcastcom to sign up. I'll put the link to the website in the show notes so you can click and join. Also, there's a Facebook community at the Wellness Inspired, and you can follow me on Instagram at wellness underscore inspired. If you're in the Houston area or just visiting and interested in our services acupuncture, herbal medicine, cupping, zinchiatsu or dry needling therapy contact us. You can find out more on our website at element5omcom that's element5, the number 5, omcom, and again, I'll put the link in the show notes. If you're interested in health and wellness coaching, we can connect in the clinic or on Zoom. Reach out to us and we'll get you on the schedule and, as always, I would love to hear your feedback. I am dedicated to bringing you great content that is inspiring and informative, with an artsy, fun, edgy spin. Thank you so much for listening. We'll meet here again next time and remember, never stop exploring, learning, loving and being you Bye.