Also:• I'm Here to Accept the Mosquitoes• Word Salad You Could Write on a Refrigerator• A Difference as Large as Qualia Itself• Holy Shit, Can That Guy Slap• Lahaina Basically Got Burned to Death• The Sharps are Flatter ...

Also:• Fits of Screaming, Wall-Punching, Apoplectic Rage• An Italian Substitute for the F Word• It's Not the Same Egg, and You're Not the Same Man• Umami, for the 747th Time• Did Anyone's Wife End Up Dead in This Story?•...

Also:• Disgusting and Glorious All at the Same Time• Donald in Bed With Satan• Might as Well Be Entertained By the Hissing and Popping• The Most Terrifying Land Predator Ever Conceived• You Can Hear Yourself Swallow• Bea...

Also:• Get Past the Pleasantries and Proceed to Be Bored• Deng Xiaoping, Stormin' Norman Schwarzkopf, and Frederick II Elector of Saxony• A Deep-Vein-Thrombosis Sort of Thing• Someday You Will Be Pushing Up D...

Also:• The Unfortunately Named Mr. Woodcock• It Was Either Suicide or Volcanoes• Dogbite Dan, Who Ran Your Parkour Class• Right Into My Dusty, Disgusting Camera• The Umpteen Gajillion Roberts in Your...

Also:• The Transformation of Personal Tragedy Into Collective Comedy• Belfastaghy Would Not Be as Confusing• The J-est J That Ever J'd• And Don't Ever Call Me an Accountant• Sit With Your Guidance Co...

Also:• Put a Stop to the F***ing Chaos• Careening Off the Rails and Massively Top Heavy• On a Bit of a Religious Tear• That Bizarre, Creepy, Disgusting Whole Sequence• Get Henry Ford on the Phone• Husbands and Wives Droo...

Also:• My Cat's Name is Chanel Rosenblatt• It Was Fingernails On My Aesthetic Chalkboard• Also, an Order of Yak• Sounds Like a Drum Fill, or Someone Falling Down the Stairs• The Penguin Shows Up in O...

Also:• Ascending Tier Lists of Either Clumsy or Homicidal People• Ruin the Masterpiece Retroactively• The Spanish Almost-Quasi-Fantasy-Horror• Are You Going to Tell George No?• I Should Name My Son "...

Also:• Stunning, Horrifying, and Excellent• Heteronormative Homosocial Posturing• A Large Screwdriver Fished Out of His Colon• Military Men Confess Their Sins• Pepe the Horny Frenchman• When...

Also:• It Rained Orange Juice and Froze Overnight• Every Audiophile's Wet Dream• They Tumble Through the Cheese Cloth Pretty Fast• The Hour of Sleep You Get After You Pee• It's Like Trying to Schedule Sex• Libidos, and H...

Also:• At Peak Manic Right Now• Let's Talk About What Meds You're On• GenXers are More Wizened• The Breathless Excitement of Sex in a Barn• Raised on Hose Water and Neglect• Yes, They're Jus...

Also:• Five Minutes in and We're Several Faux Pas Deep• Having Pabulum Infused Directly Into My Veins• I'm Rot Maxing Today• He Spelled His Name "Hen3ry"• I Have a Dirty Penguin Joke at Some Point• For All I Know You Cou...

Also:• I Hang Out With Weirdos, Not Creeps• My Eyes are Tired, As is My Soul, But Yet I Frolic• Literally Carrying Buckets of Piss and Shit• Almost Like a Kind of Radar• Ever Go to Those Swinger Part...

Also:• Aardvark, Van der Kaamp, Beethoven, Roosevelt, Ruurlo• I Was a Ho, Bryan• Funny How White These Schools Were• What Generation of Communist Sympathizers are They Raising?• I Oughta Kick Your Ass Right Up Between Your E...

Also:• Easily the Most Petty Version of Nebraska Behavior• Hiding Behind the Piano, Sobbing• With the Jawbone of a Donkey, Heaps Upon Heaps• It's Up There With Lemon-Scented Contacts• A Minimum of Three Genocides• He's a...

Also:• Judges is an Adorably Problematic Book• Unwilling to Tear Open Your Friend's Chest Cavity• Feelin' Pretty Fucking Unappreciated, Al• It's a Manifestation of the Infinite Microculture• I Can Fi...

Also:• Wearing a Sandwich Board in Front of a Del Taco• Not the Least Interested in Cocaine Right Now• Mow My Lawn Menacingly• Where the Hell You Came Up With Iron Ore• Oh, There's No End of Whimsy

Also:• Speaking as an Amateur Body Builder With Truly Middling Results• It Doesn't, as Far as I Know, Creep Anyone Out• Five Beats or Three Dry Swallows• Did Somebody Poop During This Session?• Invit...

Also:• A Bromance Between a Robot and a Dog• Of Course It's a Werewolf Thing• Once You've Discovered a Japanese Toilet• Hey Everybody, My Just Dad Died!• That's an Expensive and Dangerous Philosophy<...

Also:• Penis Envy is a Hot Tub Time Machine• My Negative Harumphy Vibes• An Epistemologist Feeling a Little Cantankerous• Was it the Tip or the Shaft?• A Teaspoon's Dollop of the Blue Honey• The Substance Tolerance of a ...

Also:• He Didn't Want to Take the Spigot Out of the Guy's Leg• Do You Do Caffeine Enemas for Fun?• Ingest Adrenaline By Drinking the Blood of Your Enemies• Someone's Always Plotting a Genocide• Hoisted By His Own Petard•...

Also:• I'm Schnauzing the VapoRub Kleenex• As Australian as it is Gay• Unless They're Actively Bludgeoning People on the Battlefield• Close Enough to Pejorativize• Never Say "Supposedly" When "Ostensibly" Will Do• That's...

Also:• Fat Men Play With Their Garden Hoses• Do You Know What the Term "Twink Death" Is?• Downward Volatility Sucks!• I Like a Good Liminal Space• To His Horror He Finds Himself in Hell• Jam...

Also:• The Scrawlings of a Madman on the Walls of His Cell• Our Measurement Here is Sheboygan's Yardstick• You are Bruce Banner, and I Keep Poking You• I Don't Always Want to Be the Straight Man to Your Idiocy• Go to the Ama...