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My Therapist Made Me Do This Podcast: With Mario & Friends
My Therapist Made Me Do This Podcast: With Mario & Friends
Keep the Spark Alive: Never Stop Dating Your Spouse
Picture this: a mobile yoga studio, a glass of wine in hand, and the person you vowed to love forever by your side. Our recent Sip and Stretch date night with Jessica was not just a break from the mundane but a rejuvenating experience for our relationship. With guidance from a yoga instructor who doubles as a mental health therapist, we explored the transformative power of intimacy and connection through yoga that prompted this episode.
hey, what's up. What's up? My people? This, your boy, mario, back with another installment of my Therapist, made Me Do this podcast with Mario and friends. I am, of course, mario Now, as you can see, it's just me today flying solo pump.
Speaker 1:Fake, sorry, jessica is actually over here in the corner doing what she does best crocheting. Say hey, babe, and she over there doing a little crocheting thing. Actually, while this was loading up, I was actually thinking like man, when you start doing this, like when you, you know, when you're not on the pod, I'm like I'm gonna get that second camera and then, whenever you say something, I'm just gonna hit the little button and then pan the camera to your side so they can be what's your bonding on you at home? You're not out in public, so when you be saying foolishness, they can hear what you got to say. All right, now. Now, man, so didn't get a pot in last week. What was I doing last week? Oh, we had a basketball tournament last week and, man, I just went in the mood for it. I'm not even going to lie to you. Guys made it to the championship game. They just had this whole meltdown. It pissed me off to the highest levels of piss-itivity.
Speaker 1:Nonetheless, now Jessica actually came up with the name of this podcast and, uh, I actually like it, so we're going to call. Call it keep the spark alive. Uh, oh, no, never stopped dating your spouse. No, you said something about chasing it, but no, I like keep the spark alive. Never stopped dating your spouse. Now, where did this come from? Um, I'm wanting to start this because this is actually a great transition. I want to start this by talking about a date night that Jessica and I had the other day. So this was actually Jessica's idea. I'm telling you all this is like a great segue.
Speaker 1:This is actually Jessica's idea. She told me she wanted to go do couples yoga. Now, I am old and broken, so my first thought was I did. I don't know if y'all remember Uh P90X, uh, so if you ever did Uh Yoga X, like that was the last yoga I did and like that shit hurt, like it hurt bad. So in my mind, I'm thinking like this girl gonna try to kill me on a Friday night Is it Friday night or Saturday? Friday night, friday night, all right.
Speaker 1:So, anywho, we go to this place called Sip and Stretch right Now it's a mobile, it's a young lady and she does like a mobile, like stretching slash. There's alcohol there, jessica was drunk, so it's not like your traditional yoga experience, right? So we get there and you walk in and the vibe is sick. The lights are dim. You got kind of LED lights, you know, kind of swarming in the background. I mean just the ambience is cool. So a lot of couples were there, uh, actually a couple of hours out, uh portion tomorrow. They were actually in the spot, uh, and did it with us. And man, when I tell you not what I expected, not what I expected now, um, I am reaching out to her.
Speaker 1:Monday I talked to her after we did, uh, the yoga session and I kind of told her, you know, about the podcast, because she's also a mental health, she's also a mental health therapist, so she does like the yoga thing in her spare time. So I kind of told her what I did and you know she agreed she would love to come on the show and just have a conversation and like what are the odds of having like a mental health therapist and somebody that does something that was so amazing, like all in one? So I kind of I've been trying to think of the best way to explain this. So there's, there's parts of it. That is what all of it is yoga. So we're, you know, we're going through the breathing, the stretching, like all those things, right, but it's a very intimate experience. So it's not like one, like one person next to the other, like stretching, like everything you do is connected to your significant other. So we started off like going back to back.
Speaker 1:I don't want to give the whole thing away, because I'm telling you like it just will even tell you to. If this is ever in your area, I promise you it's well worth the coin that you pay for it. Um, but man, the levels of man I'm trying, like I really been trying to find the right way to put this, but she talks about different levels of intimacy, right, and the connectedness that that I felt, uh, and it was actually, I mean, I see just this one, the one you should have came over and talked about, but the connectedness you get with your partner while doing this is incredible. Like I mean, there was, um, there was one time where we literally just stood up and we looked at each other dead in the face, like no laughing, no joking, we just like, literally, like I could see, like behind her eyes and she's basically the lady is basically giving us just having us reminisce on, like, basically, why you're with this person, like the things that make you happy, the things you tolerate, like you know how they uplift you, and it was such a powerful like uplifting moment, uh, for me at least I don't think me and jessica actually really got it that deep on it, but, man, just what an overall great experience. So, um, I want you guys, uh, to follow her.
Speaker 1:So she is on inst. Is she just instagram, babe? So just instagram. But it's, oh, she got tiktok. I don't tiktok, but, um, she's on instagram. So her page is doo doo, doo doo. Does yoga d-O-O-D-O-O. Does yoga At Doodoo. Does yoga, oh, my God, like one of the greatest experiences ever. You can also find her on wwwsipstretchcom. Man, just take a couple of moments out of your day if you're bored and go check out her page, check out her website.
Speaker 1:And, man, just please like, if you don't do nothing for me, like I don't think I've ever been so excited about having a guest on my show in a long time. But okay, like, I mean like a guest guest, you know what I mean. But like, like I am genuinely interested in her sharing her story and how she did things. Now, what does this have to do with what we're talking about? So, if you listen to this podcast for a while, you know that I tell you guys, like I have like show ideas out the wazoo, like I was supposed to do one on selective outrage, um, this week, but, man, the universe just aligned and it all worked out.
Speaker 1:So we did this yoga thing and it really just kind of put on my mind the importance of like intimacy and like rekindling those, uh, you know, those flames that you kind of, I don't say, fizzle out but just, you know, just kind of get a little light, like as time goes on. So then I'm on my social media and I see, um, adrian and angelina happy anniversary and, uh, you know, they're out celebrating their anniversary and I'm laughing because they're doing, uh, they're doing putt putt golf and uh, I'm just watching how they're interacting with each other, just having a good time. And it made me think about, uh, when me and Jess used to go play, like Papa Shot used to piss me off, like I can admit it now, but like she's I don't know why or how she whoops my ass In Papa Shot. I can't explain why, but she does. But the competition part of it Is just it's fun, man, it's fun friendly competition. And it reminded me so uh, so much of that, seeing adrian and angelina, uh, celebrating anniversary and just hanging out with each other and I was like man, the importance of continually dating your spouse or your significant other. Don't even have to be a wife. You might wife or husband. You might hear me say spouse a lot, but just put significant other if you're not married now. It actually made me start thinking about, just kind of reflecting on today Before I got into this, just thinking about the early stages of our relationship Versus, like how we do things now from a date night standpoint.
Speaker 1:Now, obviously we were a little younger. You know spring chickens, as some of them would call us, them were godless. Um. So, man, date nights with us look very differently to a point, man, where I think we we got it down to at least at least two times a month, maybe sometimes more. Um, and obviously, as we got older we mature, you know we go, we go hang out at the club, go kick in the parlay. But obviously, as we got older, we mature, you know we go, we go hang out at a club, go kick in a private, but obviously, as we get a little older, like we can't be, you know, we can't be jumping around in the clubs and all this stuff like we used to. Now, as we've gotten older, we've added another child to the picture. Like things drastically, uh, have changed.
Speaker 1:So first thing I want to talk about, uh, about when it comes to the importance of dating your spouse, the emotional connection, right. So when you think about your spouse and mainly we'll talk about like intimacy. For a second, continually dating deepens your emotional, like the emotional intimacy aspect of your relationships. Now, think about when you were dating your significant other, right, especially if you fellas and you listen to this podcast, you know it took that extra time to look. Good, you went and got the flowers, you went and picked out a good restaurant, good place to like hang it, kick it. Your conversations was you, you know, off the chain, like literally, when me and Jessica met like the first time, the first meaningful conversation we had, she was literally laying in the trunk of my, of my impala at the time and we was like literally stayed outside till damn near the sun came up, just talking. But it was those moments that I feel like really started building the foundation of what is now a 16, 17 year relationship, 16 year marriage. So I started looking up things that cause like marriage satisfaction declines, right, and so these three things were actually really interesting to me, so I want to share a couple of things with y'all.
Speaker 1:So, according to a study published in the journal Family Relations, marital satisfaction tends to decline over time, with a significant drop occurring in the early years of marriage. Over time, with a significant drop occurring in the early years of marriage, more than 40 percent of couples report satisfaction lower satisfaction after five years. There's that saying that I think it was the is the seven year itch. Seven year itch, they say like if you can make it past the seven year itch, like you're destined to have like a longer marriage. And I guess that's because I don't know the significance in the number seven in this aspect, but I guess it's kind of when you realize like man, like they really about to be doing this for a long time. You know so and I still think you know around that five to seven years, you know that honeymoon phase is over. You guys aren't like you know. Added is over. You guys aren't, like you know, at it like rabbits, we adults. So we gonna talk like adults today, but you know, you're not like having sex like all crazy all the time. Like you know, life is kind of settled in and you've, you know, kind of let life adjust and just that stuff you used to do you just don't do anymore.
Speaker 1:Now there was another, another study that I found. This is 65 percent of married adults reported being very happy in their marriage, while another 26 percent described themselves as being somewhat happy, and it transitioned to the importance of the impact of communication in those relationships. So there was another study that found that couples will communicate openly and effectively are four times more likely to report higher, higher satisfaction in their relationship. So this goes back to an episode that I had a long time ago about the five love languages. Now, that is something that I'm a huge advocate of. Normally people that are newlyweds or getting into relationships, I always ask them, especially at work, because I feel like everybody getting married and in love at work around me. So I'm always like, man, have you taken the five love languages test? And majority of the people tell me that they haven't. And I tell them man, one of the best things you can do, especially early on. Take that love language test, because a lot of the things that you assume make you happy or fill your love tank on a more permanent basis ain't always it. So quality time Now, there was a study done that suggested that couples who prioritize spending quality time together report higher levels of relationship satisfaction.
Speaker 1:And then the big one, communication or conflict resolution. They kind of go hand in hand with each other. But couples who practice constructive conflict resolution techniques, such as active listening and compromise, experience greater relationship satisfaction. And then, of course, there's a you're. You're also important, like intimacy, right. So communication I know we hear it a million times, but the more I started doing my google research on this, I realized that it was like some astronomical amount of people that say that they broke up or they're divorced from their spouse and it was namely because of poor communication. Now, poor communication or communicate can go a long way, and I'll just be very vulnerable. You know here a little bit as much as I can, but you know, for me like I'm a very I'm a very direct person, right. So sometimes I say things and I don't mean them to come off, uh, the way that they may come off.
Speaker 1:And there have been times like, just because you even had to check me on stuff and be like, hey, like I'm your wife, though you know I'm saying like I'm not, I'm not your friend, I'm not like people on the and be like, hey, like I'm your wife, though you know I'm saying like I'm not, I'm not your friend, I'm not like people on the street. So, like, you have to learn the importance of communicating effectively to me. But like, understanding like you can't like, like, talk down to me if you want to get your point across and uh, I think I got a little better at that. Like, for the most part, but you know, just, I'm a very passionate person when it comes to like my opinions and things like that. So you know, it is one of those things that, like, you're always working on. Well, I should say I'm always working on, and, of course, like Justin, I have done podcasts on here before.
Speaker 1:We talked about having a difficult conversations. Now, I'm not even even gonna lie to you. Most of the people that we know they got married around the time that we did ain't together no more like, and I'm talking about like probably don't even talk to each other no more and have moved on and have like other you know, relationships and marriages or what have you, and a lot of times it came from them not wanting to have like very difficult conversations. Man, if I wish I could remember the name of the episode, but I can't sit here and say like I don't want to make this seem like this is just an easy thing. There's definitely conversations that Jess and I have had and you know we both crying and just like feel like shit uh from from having the conversation.
Speaker 1:But a lot of times like you'd be surprised at how much you assume your spouse knows, uh about you or what's going on in your life. And you know, sometimes like the truth really hurts, sometimes like it really does, like you're thinking you're doing everything right, you're thinking you're you know providing and all those kinds of things. But then the more you start having conversations you realize that you're not Perfect example. So I remember one time Jess and I I don't think we were arguing, we were just having a conversation about something and I mentioned what I thought was her love language at the time and she looked at me and was like that ain't my love language, no more. Like I was like what the hell? You mean? That ain't your love language? No more. But she had. As she had grown and as she had evolved cause, if you don't know, uh, jessica's actually 20 years older than me Um, so as she's grown, as she's grown and evolved life as a woman, a wife like there was a projector as she's grown as a wife and a woman in life, there are things, you know, based on what she does in the community or just things that like fills her tank, that have significantly changed. So I remember us having that conversation about that and the importance of uh, communicating those things.
Speaker 1:And even when it comes to the love languages, I always tell people like you can't just do that one time, like you need to, you need to revisit that at least every couple years. Hell, depending on what you got going on in your life, you revisit every year because 16 years ago, things that we valued, 16 years later we probably don't, but we just don't have them as high as a priority. And you know, I've never really been a words of affirmation person for real, for real. But as I've gotten older, like I've realized like man, like sometimes I really need that confirmation that I'm okay, you know what I'm saying. Like I'm, I'm, I'm doing things and like you, just you're affirming me Like I, I need that, whereas before, like, I was really big on like physical touch and still am to a point. Like I feel like, but hug you, I give you a high five. Like I have to like physically touch you to show you that I appreciate you. Like that, that is my way of being vulnerable, to show you like, hey, I appreciate you.
Speaker 1:So now one of the one of the biggest issues that I've noticed with a lot of people the importance of uninterrupted time together in today's climate. Now, I don't know if they listen to this podcast, so I ain't going to say their name, but when they hear the story they're going to know exactly who I'm talking about. So don't take this personally, but this is a great teacher moment. So, know, a couple you know they have been married for a couple of years and you know we're at work and you know, know, they talk about going on date night. So I'm like, oh, okay, all right, date night, y'all getting it in. You know what I'm saying. And, uh, the wife is very much like, so they have a, a newish born baby. I think she's like two now and, uh, you know she's like, yeah, well, me, him and the baby are gonna go here here. And I'm like, whoa, you know, like legitimately, coming from a place of you know love. I'm just like, hey, so Mario's useless two cents here. While I understand so let me let me preface this they're in actually a very unique situation because his family, like all of his family, lives here from the mom on back.
Speaker 1:So I said, man, I just want you to know that while it's great that you spend time with your, with your spouse, spending time with your spouse and the baby is counterproductive. And like you got kind of it, got kind of the conversation, got kind of chippy after that, you know, because she's a new mom and you know she's like, oh, I'm a new mom, you know, and new moms don't give their baby away. And I said, well, it's not giving your baby away, but it's literally taking time from being a mom to flipping to be a wife. Now, if you've been married for any amount of time, for some significant years, you remember what your life is like when you had a child. Even now, like if me and my wife are having a conversation and my daughter walks in the room, it automatically becomes like what she got going on, like like what's her. It's your natural parental instinct to just be like like you know, let me check on her, make sure she's good.
Speaker 1:So in my mind I would find it very difficult to be able to legitimately have a conversation and just or just have intimate moments and intimate moments don't have to be sex, but just legitimately have intimate moments with you and your significant other. When you got a little kid pissing and shitting and hungry every two minutes, right? So factor in you know the state of the economy Everybody's working more like things just become like really, really difficult, to the point where you know I think once upon a time actually we might start doing it again when Justin and I like didn't have a lot of rank, or let's just say we didn't have as much responsibility as we do now, it was pretty easy like to break free and go do the things right. But as we've gotten older, we've gotten more rank, we've made more money. More money comes with more problems and I'm going to speak for myself here Like I found myself thinking about work a whole lot more because it was once upon a time. I'm like man, I'm never taking my work computer home, like at 4.30, 30, like I don't care. Now I damn near take that computer home at least three times a week, which is it's sad, I know. I just say I'm working on, I'm trying to be better.
Speaker 1:But it became significantly harder especially when, like jess, kind of took another, another job at work and, like you know, her life was pretty much dedicated to the people. You know I'm saying, like you know, exclusively dedicated to the people in her, her unit, so that time that we could just, you know, cut out and you know, be gone on a friday, you know have to. You know she had to worry about who's gonna hold her. You know her phone in case, like something crazy happens. Or you know, if I'm in charge and I got a bunch of airmen out like somebody gonna call me because they're drunk driving. You know, just like stupid stuff like that and, honestly, just like the stress from work, sometimes like it don't even necessarily have to be something going on at work, but sometimes the stress from work is enough to just make me just want to go home and just like crash out. So, like now, you know, like just because transitioning to being a teacher, and go back and listen to the episode, like if you haven't been like real life, like these kids be stressing her out.
Speaker 1:And we was actually having this conversation uh earlier today, uh, about you know how often we have date nights and things like that. And you know, I told her straight up I was like man. You know how often we have date nights and things like that and you know I told her straight up I was like man. You know there's definitely times where we could have done things. However, like sometimes, like every waking, every free moment, she get she crashed like she, like she out, she napping or she just relaxing. And I think for me as a husband, I'm just like man and I told her this. I was like, while a date night is cool, I feel like a lot of times you just need that rest and relaxation just to kind of recharge and, you know, get back into the fight now.
Speaker 1:Obviously there has to be some kind of work life relationship balance that takes place, but, as we all know I'm not saying it's impossible, but man, it is definitely pretty difficult uh to do, especially like with her being a teacher now, because man, like, sometimes she's up late at night doing lesson plans and, like I said, she got kids in her class that can't even speak spanish. So trying to figure out you know how to communicate things, uh, to her kids, for that stuff like man, little old mario wanted to go grab some food might not be the priority at that time, but again, that is something that you know, her and I have to work on as we kind of transition to this, this later part um of our life, especially from a career standpoint. She's closing one and open another one and I'm kind of career standpoint she's closing one and opening another one and I'm kind of on the brink of closing one and opening up another one. So that's a lot of where that communication piece comes in too, because you can get so stuck in a rut or you can get so stuck in the routine that you don't even realize that y'all are alienating each other. More importantly, justin and I talk about this a lot when Y'all are alienating each other. More importantly, justin and I talk about this a lot when you have kids and we all love kids, right, everybody loves kids.
Speaker 1:But I think the scary part about having kids and it took me three kids and you know, being around other people that have kids and just kind of watching this whole like meltdown happen, is that you get so consumed with the life and day-to-day activities of your kid and one would think that as they get older it gets easier. But now they're in sports, gymnastics, they're in the band, they're doing all these things so that time that y'all would normally spend hanging out with each other now you gotta go here, other spots, gotta go there, and you dedicate so much of your free time the little free time that you have into making sure you create good memories for your kids that when the time comes and I always tell people this there's gonna come a time when your child is gonna move out your house and the thing that always stuck in the back of my mind is man, I never want to have my kids move out the house. And then Jess and I look at each other and it's like who the hell are you? Like? We have no idea who we are as a couple, who we are as people, because in the midst of doing all these things for our kids as parents, like us as adults and husband and wife, we've evolved into different things and if you don't know how to cater to those things or how to find your niche and other people's happiness because, like I always say, like, happiness is a personal problem, it's never a couple's problem, it's never, never your significant other's problem. Like you have to find, create your own bubble of happiness, as I call it, and you have to make it, make sure you make it a point to find what makes like, how can I provide happiness in my spouse's space? Some people might not agree with that, that's okay, but you know, like I said, in my opinion, happiness is a is a personal preference, is a personal choice. So that's where those love languages and having those difficult conversations, uh, come from. Now. So let's talk about the importance of playing in a relationship.
Speaker 1:So, and this is kind of goes back to like dating, but just almost like that three little chase, feeling right, where you just feel like everything you're doing, you're trying to you know, please, your significant other, whether it be male or female, but just going back to like those feelings you have where you just want to make sure you had everything right. You wanted to make sure you know everything right. You wanted to make sure you know you smell good, you were doing the things, you were checking the boxes that you knew that was going to get you where you wanted to go. Man, just the excitement of dating again almost makes you young, feel like you're a teenager all over again. You get all giggly out of google. Yeah, when you see each other man, just the things that just naturally made you happy are the things when it comes to, you know, playfulness and just having fun in relationships that one, a couple, should never, ever lose, right? So now, um, I know most of y'all are thinking all right, mario, so what the hell are you talking about? Like, how give me some examples on how I can do this? Because once upon a time, I was like man. I like to consider myself pretty spontaneous. However, sometimes I have to be a little creative with how we do things. So I got some props.
Speaker 1:So if you listen to the podcast for a while, you've probably seen these. I probably need to bring these back, but just little things like. So, if you're, if you're one of those people and if you're listening, I'll just have to explain it to you, but obviously, if you're watching, you'll see this. Um, but I have these cards, and this is more so for people who have difficulty communicating and even if you don't have difficulty communicating man who have difficulty communicating, and even if you don't have difficulty communicating man, hear me out, I 100 recommend you go get these.
Speaker 1:And if you're bored or you're just at home just chilling and, just you know, kicked up on the couch, just play, play this little card game. So this first one I got called it's called, uh, tonight's conversation the card game, and it's by, I think his name is ace metaphor, so it is. I don't know how many cars in here. It's a bunch of them though but basically it's a game that you can play with your significant other or yourself, right, and basically you just pull a car, you just pull a random car and you say the question out loud and it's supposed to spark a conversation between between you and your significant other. So, for example, card is randomly pulled, you inquire about the number of sexual partners your significant other has had and the number is way higher than you would expect. Would you change anything about this and explain? So, cards like that, sure, hopefully it triggers, like a like a productive conversation, but that can be the catalyst to, you know, having a good, meaningful conversation.
Speaker 1:Because, like I said, intimate isn't, intimacy, isn't always about sex, man and like knowing your partner, like for me, like I, I love very good thought provoking conversations. I love when my brain is being exercised Right so I can have a conversation with you about politics, water, medicine, the military, it don't matter what it is Like. Anytime I'm in a situation where I can use my brain and just kind of I got a big head. So I hope I, you know, use my brain from time to time, man it just that like that is what. That is what fills my tank, like being able to sit and have a, you know, conversation with my significant other.
Speaker 1:This other one is called. It's called the skin deep uh, experience, rethink and connect. I don't know what the website is. Oh, so if you go to, they got an instagram page the skin deep. At the at underscore the skin deep same concept the questions, if I remember correctly. I need to get back to doing this. Hold on, oh, this is good. Okay, so these aren't as crazy as the relationship debates. So I would definitely say the relationship debates cards are probably a little better if you've been together a little bit longer, but these cards, the skin deep cards, are better suited for, like those younger, newlywed type couples. Like this one, what do you think is the next step in our relationship? So questions that aren't answered with like a yes or no, but they require you to actually, you know, put some thought into it, and hopefully that generates, um, a good dialogue.
Speaker 1:Now, this other one. Now, I'm not gonna lie to y'all, I have failed as a husband on this one. Now, I told myself, though I said, after I do this podcast, I'm going to be meaningful about doing this, because jessica's kind of hinted at it like 27 000 times, and I actually think she got it for me, uh, or she got it for us, for I forgot what it was for, but nonetheless it was funny. She gave it to me because we were beefing that day, like we was arguing about something I don't even know if she remembers this, but we was arguing about something and she gave me this. Like any other day, this would have been like the greatest gift ever. But, um, the adventure challenge, uh, the couple's edition. So I actually I don't like I'm, I'm such a failure y'all.
Speaker 1:So it comes with a polaroid camera, right, and there's like little scratch offs. Let me see if I can find one, all right. So so this one, in this case it is. It's entitled food with bae, right. So they're little scratch offs. Like I said, if you watch it you can see that. But they're little scratch offs and literally got little coins here. You scratch off and whatever it is, uh, you do it as a couple. You take a picture and then there's a little section, uh, that you can put, like the photo, in to create those memories. Now you talk about an easy kill for date night, like that is man, it's money. Now ask me why I ain't been doing it. I don't know, I ain't figured it out yet either. But, like I said, it comes with a polaroid camera so you can snap your little selfie, um, doing a little project or whatever.
Speaker 1:And man, 10 out of 10 recommend those three things. Um, as we start doing the adventure challenge, maybe I had just come on and kind of share you know what we did and kind of what her thoughts on it. So, yep the skin deep relationship debates and the adventure challenge, couples condition, couples condition, couples edition are three that I recommend. Now, it doesn't have to, it doesn't have to always be anything that requires like money. I think that those are relatively cheap, but let's say money is tight.
Speaker 1:So, hiking, biking, uh, you can go camping, like a little staycation, a little getaway, somewhere, just time where y'all can, like you know, spend with each other, taking unique experiences, like uh, taking a dancing class together. Now I remember one of the most um, one of the best memories I have, better memories I've had uh with me and jessica was when we went to oh my god, was it spain, I think when we went to spain and we took this um, we took this class, oh my god. I can't remember the name of the. It's like the traditional dance you do in spain, but it was a dancing class. So you go there and there's like these three people and they're teaching you how to do the little. I got the song in my head to this day. That's crazy, but, like man, just it was just a cool time making you with that, with a bunch of people you didn't know in another country, and you know you're learning these dance moves. Like jessica can't really dance that good, so it actually was like it was really, really entertaining.
Speaker 1:So you know, I'm saying you can do where you're a little bit older. You're a little bit older, like 70 years old, but when you have like those things where you're consumed by work, whether it be by choice or by force. Man set a date night Hell, I'll even go a step further. Man set a date night hell, I'll even go a step further. Like, if intimacy is lacking in your department, man just set a? Hey, this day, this the day, we gone, if you get my drift. But like there's nothing wrong with putting those things on a schedule because, especially if you're a detail oriented person like that man, why not? If you can block off two hours to go do a project for work or being a zoom call for whatever, hey, from from 8 to 12. That's when I'm laid up.
Speaker 1:Kick back like a fat man and doing all the things you know with just my spouse, like those, that is the time that I'm carving out. Like don't be ashamed or feel bad if you have to schedule time with your spouse, because scheduling time with your spouse is better than spending no time at all with your spouse. So, um, now the biggest thing, like involving family. Like I was talking about the couple before they had their family, like they had all the resources. It was like a dream scenario. So you know, luckily for us, you know, my mother-in-law comes in town Like normally the first thing she says she doesn't want to see her kids and she'd just be wanting us to get gone anyway.
Speaker 1:Right, but use those things, especially if you have, like, family or friends close by, that you trust. I want everybody around your kids that you don't trust. But, man, if you're able to get like a babysitter, man, man, we was in illinois we had the greatest babysitter on the planet. Man, shout out, sierra man. I loved her to death, that girl. She was, um, trying to find money for school or trying to get money for school. And man, like, whenever we caught as you lay, whatever, whenever you want us to watch the kids, uh, you can come do that and I like genuinely appreciated her. But, man, you know we have family close by. Maybe, hey, we'll watch the kids, you know for this, and maybe you know you trade off and do something like that.
Speaker 1:If you got couples, you got teenage kids, like that's always a plus too. So, definitely involve your family, especially if y'all are close to each other. Man, your family got a lot of love for you. I know everybody's family members don't get along, but if they do, man, take advantage of those things so you can take advantage of those opportunities. Just get some time away without your kids, without your phone, without your laptop. Spend that time with your significant others.
Speaker 1:Now let's talk about complacency. Um, one of the hardest things like I kind of talked about this earlier but combating being complacent in a relationship. And a lot of this goes into being stuck in the routine and even like the routine can even be like a date night thing that maybe for the past 10 years y'all always went to the movies and did during the Applebee's or something like that. I don't know. But sometimes like spontaneity, like doing something out of the box, like out of the ordinary, can bring like that, like rekindle that sparking relationship, because, let's be honest, most people I know don't have enjoyment in doing the same thing over and over and over.
Speaker 1:So and this goes back to communication too, because I noticed that a lot of people in relationships, they'll just keep going through the motions because they just feel like it's the thing to do, instead of saying, hey, why don't we try something different? And that can be relationships, you know, date nights and things like that. That can be intimacy, that could be sex, like that can be all those things. And this is where having those open conversations with your spouse like can benefit you for the most part they're true, they're really and truthfully, if you decided to devote your life to somebody, there's really nothing that should be off topic for real, for real, like you should be comfortable saying whatever you need to say, especially if it's going to benefit both of y'all. But you should be comfortable having those conversations about things that you want to choose and you know just if it's something just to highlight or bring back the excitement in your relationship, by all means you should have those like common, you know, conversations.
Speaker 1:Now, one of the biggest things and I mean I talk to so many people and I didn't realize this was a thing with so many people. There's a lot of people that are in relationships and like they do things I think I've even heard just say this before Like she does things because I like to do it, she'll necessarily do it because she want to do it. So which kind of threw me out, because I like to think most of the stuff I do is pretty cool, but I guess not. So trying to find a common ground and this is kind of where sacrifice uh kind of takes place. You know I'm saying so. It shouldn't always be one sided, and it just reminds me of this.
Speaker 1:This other couple that I know were like man, the pole husband. Man, he just be running around like a chicken with his head cut out, cause he'd be doing all this stuff that his wife wants to do and really he's really kind of a homebody. He'll go out and do a couple of you know a couple of things, but she's always like we never go here, you never date me, you never do this, you never do this, you never do this. And it's like man, like there has to be a compromise, cause, clearly, like he's not a very I shouldn't say outgoing person, but he just don't like being around, get up and get dressed and get out for people. So God bless him, and I know he listened to this podcast and man just know I'll be praying for you, I know you listen to this, just know I'm praying for you, but understanding what that compromise is and saying, hey, I really don't like doing this, so what if we did this? Or hey, man, I don't like going to football games, but I'll go with you if we go see you know this team, or whatever. What have you right? So just some things that I just want to throw out there.
Speaker 1:Man, man, the time went by fast, but just some things. I wanted to be just really intentional about this week, especially after doing that yoga episode or yoga episode. But that yoga session with Jessica man and I really encourage you if you don't take nothing else from this podcast, man, it really made me happy to see so many people. It just like I said it could have just been the universe, just like shining on me and just saying, mario, you just need to talk about this for a little bit. But seeing, like you know, like I said, adrian and angelina like going out and celebrating, uh, their anniversary. I'm seeing people, like you know, hiking and riding bikes because it's nice, I'm just doing things. I'm like dog, like this is like this is a sign and not just a sign to do the podcast.
Speaker 1:But I also felt like it was a reminder for me to talk to jessica like, hey, we really should get back on our square by doing things, you know, and, like I said, like how we've done those in the past may be a little different, because, you know, basketball season is about to start for me and, if I remember right, man, we normally practice like five, six days a week and you know, factoring in my son playing football, my daughter got gymnastics, jessica's a teacher, she's the president of a sorority like the wheat gets consumed real fast, like real, real fast. So I made, I made a promise to myself, especially after having that conversation today, that I'm going to be very intentional about. If we got to schedule it, damn it, we just got to schedule. But we have to get back to prioritizing us and just us, because we prioritize so many other people, so many other organizations, just so many other things.
Speaker 1:Like man, there's times when, like we'll stay up late with each other, like just to have a conversation, tmi, like we used to take baths together and like that was like a bath together and like that was like the time we would like talk the most because it was like uninterrupted, just whatever we want to talk about, it's actually really really cool. Like now I think about it. It was I just don't like taking baths. Like I just don't like I don't like taking baths like that. But, um, it was. It was one of those things that was like really it was very intimate uh things. That was like, really it was very intimate uh setting, but, man, like we wouldn't have to wait till like late at night, when, like everybody would sleep, when nobody banging on the door, and man, we just really just like decompress from life. Or, you know, just had conversations about us. Man, like whether it was good, bad, happy, sad. Man like whether it was good, bad, happy, sad, whatever. But it was just. It was cool that we had created that space like just for us, where it almost became a thing like hey, you go stay, run the bubble bath and like get all those things.
Speaker 1:So, like I said, man, if you don't take anything else from this man, never stop dating your spouse, because I don't care how in love you were when y'all first met each other. Like Like shit gets stale sometimes, like it ebbs and flows, just like, like love ebbs and flows. Like I love Jessica like to death, but I'd be lying if I said she didn't get on my damn nerves sometimes and she'll probably look over and say to you the exact same thing, like well, okay, we heard that, but like no, so like things like that ebbs and flows, man, so you have to make sure that you're doing the things that kind of you know, keep it as happy as possible, man. Like I've always told myself. I'm only going to get married once, like that's it, like just one and done One and done One and done so. I just I genuinely, I genuinely feel like, man, god forbid, if something ever happened right, I could walk away, but okay, so at least I did the best I could.
Speaker 1:You know, I'm saying I never want to get in a situation where just wakes up one day and it's like yeah, I'm bored, which I don't, honestly. You should never be bored with me like you should. There's silence on the other side of the room. Are you bored with me, babe? I say there should never be a scenario where you should be bored with me. You be bored with me, babe. We live. It's never a dull moment. I think I'm cool to be around. I don't understand, like most, like most people love being around me, so.
Speaker 1:So anyway, man, like I said, think back to those like statistics and things we talked about today and, um, it was a quality time. Uh, communication and intimacy. And this week, if you don't do nothing else, make it a point to sit down with your significant other and just have a conversation about those three things, if nothing else. And you don't even need the relationship cards at that point you just say, hey, how would you you know what mario gonna help y'all out? How would you you know what Mario is going to help you all out? How would you rate our intimacy on a scale of zero to 10 and why you know what I'm saying? Or our communication, like, hey, like, how do you think we're doing?
Speaker 1:Jess used to do these things. I used to hate them, but actually now I kind of appreciate them. She would always be like I'm just doing a little checking, just making sure everything's okay. Doing the checking, I'm just making sure everything's okay. Doing the checking, I'm like damn. It felt like I feel like that was a prelude to I know she was gonna be a teacher one day, because it felt like we were doing like a parent teacher conference, like, yeah, we're just doing a progress report just to make sure you know how everything is.
Speaker 1:And as much as it annoyed me, I kind of like now I'm older, I'm like man, I kind of appreciate. Are you doing that? Because the last thing you want and I actually saw this on Instagram today but, like man, the moment you're sniffing other stops pouring into you or caring about how you doing or trying to better things, like that's when you should be worried. So, like, as much as those conversations bother me, man, I think if she ever just stopped caring or just stop wanting to do things like that's when I should be worried, because if I can't, if I pick up on it by then, then that means probably going off a way longer than that. So that's why the little couple show good thing was like a pleasant surprise to me, just because I'm normally playing stuff for real. For real, she's not a, she's not a planner.
Speaker 1:For the most part, she hit me with some impromptu stuff every now and then, but, um, her taking the time to look into that and like signing us up and do was actually it was, it was the best idea ever. And, like I said, I I can't speak enough of that lady's praises, man, like I said, I hope that we schedule the time, uh, to get on the podcast, because I want her to share her story with y'all so you can see, like where she like she talks about, like where she got her training at. And I want her to share her story with y'all so you can see, like where she like she talks about, like where she got her training at, and I want her to talk about those different levels of intimacy and how all of us can start applying those to our life. Now, last thing I'm gonna leave y'all with. So if you're looking for some instagram accounts or you're listening for some social media accounts and like not like crazy ones to be talking about, like stupid shit, right, but like genuinely social media accounts that um focus on relationship tips, uh, date ideas, things like that now at the good trade on Instagram is a good one. Uh, couples in love and he's just just at couples in Love at the Good Trade, at Relationship Goals, at Love and Marriage, at Married and Bright. Oh. And then there's a I haven't jumped on this one yet, but I did hear a lot of good stuff about it. But Marriage and Relationship Advice it's a Facebook group, it's a community for couples to share experiences, advice and date ideas.
Speaker 1:There's no such thing as a bad idea. There's no such thing as a bad idea. There's something as a bad idea. But a recycled idea from somebody else is a fantastic idea. It's like you got your dinner recipes. Every day I go to work, I'm always like, hey, what y'all doing for dinner? To see if that's something that we can do. So you know, never, never.
Speaker 1:There's an endless supply of resources, especially in this day and age of social media, where we can find resources to do pretty much any damn thing. So make sure you guys are taking advantage of that. And, uh, because for not for the most part, but, man, I don't want nobody to be a statistic. If you listen to this podcast, if you, if I know you, I'm cool with you. I don't want you to be a statistic, man. And god forbid, like some people do just get to the point where, like, they can't do it anymore. But, like I said, if you just focus on intimacy, communication and quality time, those three things should really be able to highlight, um, any holes in your, uh, in your marriage that you should be able to work on. And it's almost like a rinse and repeat method. Just keep going over the over those things. Make sure you guys are honing your craft as a couple, um, and man, we can make this thing work. Man, I don't care what nobody say.
Speaker 1:Marriage is beautiful and like, despite what you see from celebrities and social media and things like that, like, people get married for the wrong reason and I think people love the idea of being married. Oh, I want to, I want to poke the bear here, but I think people love the idea of being married but they don't realize that like it's not all the fairy tales and all that stuff typically ends after your honeymoon and after that man is the grind starts. Like you literally have to pour into your marriage every day, just like you have to keep gas in your marriage every day, just like you have to keep gas in your car to keep it going. You got to feel your significant others uh, love tank, uh, working on those communication and intimate. Like you have to keep feeling those things for yourself and for the other person early and often. Like it's not one of those things where, like every, every day is gonna be a honeymoon.
Speaker 1:And I god, I know people that just are enamored with the idea of oh, my husband does this, my husband does that, I love my husband, he does this. But, like, when things go bad, the many things don't look like a fairytale marriage. They bail. So I mean, if you're not in it for the long, long haul, understand there's going to be some bumps along the road. The rollercoaster might not Always have the best turns, might be deep drops and all that stuff, but you have to make sure that you're mentally, physically and even spiritually Prepared to handle those punches that life gives you, man, because, as I always say, life be life, life be life. But anywho, that is my time. That is all I have.
Speaker 1:Um, appreciate y'all for listening. Uh, again. Uh, doodoodoesyoga. Uh, on instagram, sipstresscom. I think she's in Raleigh, north Carolina, next week, um, but yeah, she lives in, she's based in Jacksonville, florida, and I think she said she does like two, like two or three tours a month, like over the weekend. So, man, if you can find it, or if you can find something like it, oh my god, please go do it. Whatever you do, please go do it. But nonetheless, thank y'all for listening.
Speaker 1:Uh, shout out as usual to my, my usual suspects, um, my dog aging and uh, I was about to say my dog aging and my therapist when we do this podcast. But my dog aging over there, I respectfully disagree. Podcast. Uh, willie and fiona had to think about this podcast. We actually just got done listening to your podcast before we listened to this show and uh, jessica was laughing because fiona said I was in trouble.
Speaker 1:Oh she's, she's sleeping now. See what I'm saying. See, if I had the camera, I would pan over it so y'all can see her sleep like this. What I mean? Like I love wanting to spend time with her, but sometimes I don't bother because she just be sleeping and she sleeps so peaceful. Y'all like me and she need that. But yeah, man, like I said, follow the yoga page, follow my people, keep liking and supporting Everything we got going on. Man, like I said, I'm working on being consistent. My friend, portia and Amari Called me out this weekend and the yoga. You need to be more consistent. So I'm like, dang we not be busy With basketball. I know like in November it's going to be crazy, but I'm making it a point To be better. I'm making it a point To be better. I'm making it a point to be better.
Speaker 1:As always, you can follow us here, here, here in here or wherever you listen to podcasts, man. So keep sharing, keep liking. Uh, I got a couple uh subscribers, got my little subscriber game up this week. Uh, youtube, man. So just keep listening, subscribe and sharing with those people. Uh, tell a friend to tell a friend, man, every podcast. You might not love, every podcast podcast you might not love, every podcast episode you might not love, but I guarantee you there's one that is going to either touch your soul or provoke thought. I guarantee that. So, as always, thank y'all for listening. I love y'all. Don't forget to make memories. Never stop dating your spouse and y'all be safe out there. Take it easy, guys.