What is Divine Love?

What if the love you're searching for isn't something you need to find—but something you need to uncover within yourself?

In this episode, we dive deep into the transformative power of divine love: a form of love that goes beyond conditions, expectations, attachment, and fear. Divine love is the highest expression of love—a connection rooted in truth, authenticity, compassion, acceptance, and the recognition of the divine essence within ourselves and others.

We'll explore what divine love truly is, how it differs from ego-based love, and why so many people struggle to experience it fully. You'll discover the most common blocks that prevent us from opening our hearts, including childhood wounds, fear of rejection, abandonment patterns, self-worth struggles, emotional protection mechanisms, and limiting beliefs about love and relationships.

Most importantly, we'll discuss practical and spiritual ways to heal these blocks so you can create deeper connections, attract healthier relationships, and experience greater peace, joy, and fulfillment in every area of your life.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What divine love really means and why it matters
• The biggest obstacles that block us from experiencing divine love
• How past wounds and conditioning affect our relationships
• Practical steps to heal emotional and energetic barriers to love
• The powerful benefits of living from a place of divine love
• How relationships can become mirrors for personal growth and healing
• Why cultivating divine love can transform your relationship with yourself, others, and life itself

Whether you're seeking a deeper connection with yourself, your partner, your family, or your spiritual path, this conversation will help you open your heart to a more expansive, authentic, and fulfilling experience of love.

Tune in and discover how healing your relationship with love can change everything.

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Website: www.pamrocca.com

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https://calendly.com/divinehealth/in-person-intuitive-reiki-healing-session-60-mins

Energy Work Sessions - Energy Healing: https://calendly.com/divinehealth/energy-healing-session

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If you enjoyed this episode, please let me know so I can create more of the content you love. Also, please share the podcast with anyone you know who would love this community, these tools, information, and free resources. Have the most love-filled week and shine on, my friends.

Transcript

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Welcome back to Divine Health. I am so excited for today's conversation. This is one of my favorite things in the whole world. Today we're diving into one of the deepest and most transformational topics that we can experience as human beings, and that is divine love. And divine love is Not fantasy love. It's not Disney princess love. It's not ego attachment love. It's not trauma bond love or performance love. It's conscious soul level love. So on an energetic and spiritual level, it's two people who have... They're conscious and awake, and find a way to return to love for themselves and for each other, and they commit to grow together. There's so much that we're not taught about with love, and really, I think that whether you're in a relationship or not, you're gonna find something of value in here. Because when we're talking about divine love, we're talking about the kind of love that awakens you, it expands you, it challenges you, it softens you, it heals you, and ultimately brings you closer to yourself. And we're gonna talk... I wanna get ahead of myself 'cause I'm so excited. There's so much good information here. But a lot of people, we approach love wrong, and I know that I was definitely one of them. It's what our culture has conditioned us of what love is. And a lot of people are searching for love, like searching for someone to make them happy or to complete them, and very few people have really been tr- taught what healthy, conscious, divine love actually looks like. A lot of people confuse intensity with intimacy, attachment with love, codependency as love, chaos with passion, sacrifice with devotion, or emotional inconsistency as chemistry. And it's sometimes due to our inner child wounds, right? Sometimes a- attachment and love w- or that codependency, it's something that maybe we learned. And it's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's really beautiful to have the consciousness and awareness to awaken to your attachment patterns so that you can ultimately liberate yourself in union, in relationship, because divine love feels different. It is not rooted in fear. It is rooted in truth, emotional safety, growth, presence, and deep spiritual alignment. So that's this awakening process that it takes both people to be conscious and awake in their own soul to know, "What feels safe for me? What feels like truth for me? What are my emotions telling me?" There has to be that awareness and presence with what's coming up. So today we're gonna talk about what divine love really is, signs of a conscious soul level love, how relationships mirror our inner world, the healing gifts of relationships. And I think that's really beautiful that there is a gift in our relationships that when we can look at it from that vantage point, there's so much help and support for expansion. And the biggest blocks to our divine union, we're gonna be talking about that, and how we can bring- Creating deeper, healthier, and more conscious connections into our life. Because it's absolutely accessible, and especially right now. Right now is a beautiful time. People are awakening to themselves. They're connecting with themselves. They're learning more, and there's so much resources and support for doing that. So let's talk about what is divine love. It is unconditional in nature, but that doesn't mean unconditional tolerance for unhealthy behavior. And I think that's really important because when you have that unconditional love for yourself, you know that you're not going to abandon yourself or tolerate unhealthy behavior. You have to hold boundary and hold the other person accountable for their actions or the way that they're showing up in the relationship. But it is unconditional in nature in that When you open up to two souls healing with each other, sometimes there's gonna be, I'm gonna say ugly seasons or hard seasons. And if you can commit to keep being there and respecting each other and learning and growing from each other, there is something really beautiful in the natural unfold- folding of that. Divine love is... It honors truth, it honors growth, it honors respect, it honors emotional safety and spiritual expansion. Because when you get married, you're not the same person when you're in your 40s or when you're in 50s or when you're in your 60s, 'cause you're always growing and expanding. You're learning new skills. You are going through different phases. You're buying a house. You're having kids. You're empty-nesters. There are different cycles and seasons, right? And it's a connection where both people are committed not only to loving each other, but also to evolving individually and together. Divine love is not about competing with each other. It's about meeting each other consciously without constant... 'Cause really I used this analogy before in tennis. If divine love is you're playing doubles. So you win together or you lose together. So if you're using games manipulation power, you're trying to win over the other person, that's not divine love. That's playing singles in tennis where one person wins and one person loses. So divine love isn't here for that. It really is rooted in being really honest, emotionally mature, vulnerable. Because oh man, the closer you get, the more you open up, the more skeletons you share, there's a level of vulnerability of I'm gonna share my deepest, darkest fears and hope that this person stays here, and vice versa, right? But when they do, the connection is deeper. It, it is more intimate. It is more sacred, and that's why this work is so potent because you get to, to meet each other. You get to help be the catalyst for healing for the person that you love the most in the whole world. How beautiful is that? It's also rooted in mutual respect, accountability, compassion, trust, and authentic connection. Divine love allows both people to feel seen, to feel valued. I like using the word cherished, but valued. Chosen, safe, accepted, and respected, and super- spiritually supported. Imagine a relationship where you c- feel completely safe, you feel completely secure, you feel accepted, respected, cher- cherished, chosen, valued, supported, seen. It is sacred. It is the best feeling ever. One... And one of the biggest differences between ego love and divine love is this: ego love asks, "What can I get from this person?" That is very transactional. Whereas divine love asks, "How can we grow, heal, expand together while honoring ourselves," so not abandoning ourselves, "and each other?" And some common signs of divine love, you feel emotionally safe. I'm gonna keep saying that because if you don't feel emotionally safe, if your nervous system is in fight or flight in union, you will not... You will build up a wall, or you will shut down, or you will not communicate your needs. One person might feel scared, and one person might feel equally scared, but the nervous systems respond differently. But you can't have that level of openness and connection when you don't feel safe, when you don't feel grounded. So grounding is really important because that allows you to sit with what is truthful for your soul. Peaceful is another really important sign of divine love. There's a lot of peace because there's clarity. There's no drama. There's no games. There's just space to be like, "This is what a healthy relationship looks like." There's honesty, but I would even say transparency. It's like you act in accordance that you could hand your partner your phone and they would be... They wouldn't find anything, and you have nothing to hide because you're... you have such an energetic integrity and transparency that if something happened you would tell them on the spot. And this has happened before where people try and slide in my DMs. I'm like, "Just letting you know, this happened. I blocked this," and because there's a level of transparency. There's nothing to hide because you're so open and wanting To treat the other person how you would expect to be treated. You're very supportive when you're in this divine union. So when they have a hard season, you're supportive. You're not criticizing. And when... Equally, when you're in a hard season, they're there to support you. If you get sick, would that person be there? Divine love would say yes. And vice versa, when they get sick, divine love would say yes. So for example, Mark broke his hand, and he can't bike. Normally we bike all the time this time of year, and it's super frustrating for both of us, right? It was super, super frustrating for him. So he's doing a new training program for running, and normally I wanna be biking. I don't really wanna be running. But to be supportive and hang out with him, because workouts were our date, I'm doing those runs with him. And that's just this level of like I'm supporting you in you rehabbing your body back to health, and we're gonna have so much fun doing it. That's what I mean with support. And it's not that I'm abandoning my workouts, 'cause I still have my own workouts, but I'm still connecting and supporting his goals, 'cause I know that was really hard. Another really important sign of divine love is deeply authentic. You're- you feel safe to pull the layers down and to let the person truly see you. And some common signs that you know you have divine love is you're able to have healthy communication. I talk about this all the time. This is, like, a really important skill set that will keep the peace a- and will keep you safe. Because if something comes up, you can say it in the now moment where it's not charged, and y- it's received from the other person because you want to love and support each other. You want to make sure... Like, I want Mark to feel safe. I wanna feel safe, and I also wanna feel safe in myself. Emotional transparency, as I said, and energetic transparency, too. Where your energy goes matters, and a lot of people, they get distracted. They... And so where is your energy going? Are you putting it into each other and into the relationship, into what you're building together, or are, you know, leaking energy all over the place? That's really important. If you're leaking it all over the place and not bringing it home to your spouse or partner, that is not divine love. So emotional transparency and energetic transparency is essential. Mutual growth is also essential. It's really hard when one person is growing and the other person is not. Ideally, you want to grow together. And respect for boundaries is really important. So if someone has a really strong boundary, you wanna respect it because that's them telling you what makes them feel safe, and equally, it goes both ways, right? A willingness to repair after conflict is another really good sign. You want to repair 'cause you don't like what it feels like to feel upset with the person or mad or whatever it is. You, you want to come back to neutrality, and that you're on the same team, right? You're... You win together, you lose together, and you want to win together, so you want to repair quickly or when you're ready. You develop these skills, and it's a really important skill set that you can develop in union. I know I share on here all the time, we have the circle back. So sometimes when things get heated, we take space, and then when we're ready, we're like, "Are you ready to circle back?" And then we have that repair conversation, which is so essential. Emotional consistency is really important, too, because you... It's hard to feel safe if emotionally they're there for you one day, and then they're not there for you. And that's not to say that you're not gonna have tired days, but you just communicate. "I'm at a, like, a low battery day. I have... I don't have much today. This is what I have." And then you allow the person to have a low day. But the idea is that emotional consistency is there. Deep trust is there. You're not wanting to... You're not needing to see what's on their phone or search what they're doing because you have such a deep level of trust, and their actions allow you to have that peace. If you're feeling the need to search things, is there a behavior that they're doing or that you're doing that is making you feel out of trust? Acceptance without control- without control is really important too. Shared values. I would say that to my kids now. If you're thinking about getting in partnership, don't think about, yes, y- there has to be that physical attraction for sure, but also, do they have shared values? You- what are your core values? And you wanna have someone who has similar core values. It's really important. It's interesting 'cause Mark and I met in fitness and health promotion, and we knew that health and growth, like personal growth and development was a big core value. And then later on, I found out family is a core value, and it's a huge one for me. So he really... And he's a family guy too, obviously, but it's really nice. I didn't look at any of this stuff before I thought about getting married, but I definitely would say to the girls, find someone who shares similar core values in how you wanna s- grow and spend your money, in w- how you want your family life to look like, in how you want to take care of yourself and your health, like all of those kinds of things. And the last thing is the ability to be yourself fully without fear. That's really important. I can ugly cry in front of Mark, and he can hold the space for me, and he can show any part of himself without fear and know that he can be himself, and I love all parts of him. That is divine love. Divine love does not mean perfect, okay? It's not a perfect relationship by any means. We still have these ups and down moments. Even though it's really good, there's still triggers that come through. There's still... But we're- we have more consciousness and understanding on how to repair, how to hold the space, how to meet what the other person needs from a really grounded place. And so divine love is... it means it's this conscious relationship. It's a relationship where both people actually want to communicate honestly, take accountability for their actions and their energy. They wanna heal their own patterns, and they wanna grow through their challenges instead of avoiding them. That is one of the hottest things that you can do as a partner. So if you're listening, if you can understand how to communicate clearly, you can take accountability for your shit, your side of the street, you heal your own patterns so when they trigger you, you do the work on yourself, and you grow through those challenges instead of avoiding them, that is hot as fuck. That is one of the hottest things that you can do. And equally, if you're doing that work, you want your partner to do it. And a- and for me, a man who is willing to look at his stuff, to take abi- accountability, to grow and change instead of avoiding it, is the sexiest thing out there. It is the sexiest because it's like, wow, you're not just going to hold on to, "This is the way that I am." It's like, it's... there's something really beautiful in that There's an emotional depth that comes through with this without emotional chaos. And I think that that is one of the sacred things is the depth that you get to when you get to meet each other on these parts, when you get to help each other heal. And you're not healing them, you're just mirroring to them certain things, and then you hold the space. And equally, they're mirroring things to you, and then they hold the space. But it's your job to do your inner work and your inner landscape and your inner healing. And one important thing to understand is that divine love often feels calmer than trauma-based love. And many people mistake nervous system activation for chemistry, and because that's what they're used to. They're used to inconsistency. They're used to chasing. They're in- used to emotional highs and lows or unpredictability. So sometimes if you're not used to it, a very secure love, y- you can be like, "This is boring. There's no fireworks." And it's because there never was meant to be. That's all trauma bond stuff. So when you heal it, it's just this very chill, calm energy that feels really good. I'm seeing a Mother Earth vibe. But healthy love often feels super steady, emotionally safe, regulated, and grounded. So yeah, if you're used to chaos, you could think that person is boring. And think about when you're in high school and you chase the bad guys 'cause it's exciting and adventurous, when really you should be chasing the emotionally safe guys, the nice guys that actually tell you how they feel. They're steady. Their actions are consistent. But again, it's not our fault. Sometimes we choose those things 'cause we're a- attracting our own inner wounds, right? And at first it can feel unfamiliar when you're in that healthy bond. Are we boring now, or there's no excitement? And it's, no, this is the vibe, that we get peace. And really, relationships are mirrors. I say this over and over again. And one of the greatest spiritual truths about relationship is this: relationships mirror back our unresolved wounds, beliefs, fears, patterns, and areas for healing. So this does not mean that relationships are meant to punish us. It means that relationships reveal to ourselves what we need to heal. And if you can see that as a gift... And this is why I always say oftentimes we'll get triggered and we'll be like, "You triggered me. You did this." And it's, no, the trigger is the unhealed part in you. So what are they mirroring to you that wants to be healed? And yes, you can put those boundaries in place because you deserve to be treated with respect. But sometimes there, there's some inner work there to neutralize that charge and see the gift in what they're mirroring to you So for example, some of the things that can be revealed, fear of abandonment may show up through clinginess or anxiety. So this is an anxious attachment. They have an abandonment wound, and it will show up in relationships where they'll feel super attached or clingy. Fear of rejection, and that is coming up to heal that abandonment wound, by the way. That's, like, the whole point. Fear of rejection may create emotional walls because if I put this wall up where I don't feel my emotions, I can't be rejected. I'm, like, protecting myself before I can be hurt. Low self-worth may lead to over-giving, and you'll see this with people where they think they need to earn love or they do everything for the other person. They lose themselves in that relationship. That is not divine love. You abandoning yourself i- to prove your love is not divine love. Fear of intimacy may create avoidance. People-pleasing may create resentment. And unhealed shame may create difficulty receiving love because really, unhealed shame is like you don't feel worthy or good enough to actually receive love. So even though it's there, you don't actually receive it, which is really hard for both people in that relationship. So that will be the person's job to go in and heal that shame so that they can receive the love that is... And that is part of the gift of the other mirror, right? Relationships often activate the parts of us that still need healing. And while this can feel very painful, it's also a gift. And that's what I really want you to say. What are you learning about yourself in relationships? And what are you helping your partner learn? Because when you attack them, they're not gonna feel safe to be emotionally vulnerable. Any time you attack or criticize or shame or blame or yell or nag, you're not gonna get them to lower the guard and reveal themselves. And equally, if they were to do that to, to you, like, you're not gonna want to open up and feel safe to heal and grow with them. And this is why conscious relationships can become spiritual catalysts, not because they're easy all the time, but because they invite growth, awareness, healing, and deeper self-understanding. And that's the gift of healing through relationships. You have this deeper spiritual connection, this soul connection that is so sacred and sexy and intimate and beautiful. And one of the biggest gifts a healthy relationship can do is to help rewire emotional experiences, and I think that's really beautiful. So again, we're not the trauma or the things that hap- happened to us, but oftentimes that's what we're carrying. But when you look at relationships as this way, they can help you rewire that emotional experience. For someone who experienced inconsistency, emotional neglect, criticism, abandonment, or conditional love, or having to earn love, and being loved safely and consistently can become deeply healing. And this is why I love talking about divine love, 'cause it's not just about love. It's about the healing, growth, and expansion that you do within yourself and in union, which is... I'm gonna just keep saying it's sacred. It's... Healthy relationships teach you that it's safe to communicate, it's safe to have needs, it's safe to receive. Conflict does not equal abandonment. Vulnerability does not equal weakness, and love does not require you to abandon yourself, ever. Relationships can become this space where both people grow emotionally, spiritually, and energetically. But healing in relationships requires awareness on both parts. Because without awareness, people often unconsciously repeat those childhood patterns in adult relationships. So this is why it's really important to know your inner wounds and to work on them. And then also, if you know your partner's and they know yours, they can be supportive and sensitive around what you're navigating and going through. Okay, let's talk about the biggest block to divine love. 'Cause it sounds so airy and fairy and good, but there are a lot of roadblocks to get there. And one of the biggest blocks to divine love is unresolved fear, and that could be fear of abandonment, of visibility, of being hurt, rejection, intimacy, losing control, being betrayed, being seen. So these are deep fears within our nervous system, so even though you might want this divine love, that fear of abandonment is so loud that it doesn't feel safe to have love or it doesn't feel safe to be vulnerable. It doesn't feel safe to be seen And so that would be some of the starting work to clear and feel safe in your own body. Because many people deeply desire love while simultaneously protecting themselves from it. So I think that's really important. Self-protection and preservation often which you think you are saving yourself is actually pushing love away, and that's actually the thing that you want. Another major block is low self-worth. If someone unconsciously believes, "I'm not lovable, I'm too much, I'm not enough, love always leaves," or, "I have to earn love," then they may struggle to fully receive healthy love when it actually arrives. So other common blocks can include hyper-independence. So I see this a lot when people, they had to be independent to survive, so it's almost like they don't feel safe to receive support, so they're hyper-independent. Emotional unavailability, unhealed trauma, nervous system dysfunction, fear of vulnerability, avoidance patterns, people-pleasing, control patterns, attachment wounds, and unresolved past pain are an, a list of common blocks to this divine love. So it's not saying that if you have these things that you can't have that. It's saying that the healing is going to be so helpful for yourself, but also for your union so that you can have that closeness without the trauma responses or the nervous system dysregulation. A lot of relationships struggle... A lot of relationship struggles are actually nervous system protective patterns. Again, so not failures, they're protection. And so how you can overcome these blocks is healing divine love starts within. You cannot consciously create healthy love externally while you're abandoning yourself internally, or while these protective parts sometimes are pushing away the very thing that you actually want. So let's talk about some helpful steps for overcoming these blocks, because I think I love sharing, okay, what it is, what the blocks are, and what can help you navigate the blocks so it is that you can have what it is that you want. And this is what I love about healing, is everything from what I... If, if it's picked up, I feel like it can be put down. If it's absorbed, we can digest and transmute. This is the work of healing, and that's not to say that there, there wasn't a cost there. But typically, there's a learning and a growth there too. Some of the important steps include, first and foremost, building self-awareness around yourself. This is one of the most things. When you wake up to yourself, when you wake up to your spirituality, when you start to understand who you are, you become more aware of your habits, patterns, rituals, the things that you do. And so you wanna notice your patterns really honestly. Look at what your tendency is when there's conflict. Look at what your tendency is when you're in love. Look at all of your exes. Look at all of this. What patterns do you know that are repeating? And how do you react to intimacy, to conflict, like I said, to vulnerability or emotional closeness notice your patterns around those, because that typically can reveal some of the blocks to love. If you don't feel safe to be emotionally close in relationship, there's for sure a wound there. If you don't feel safe to be intimate... Again, you're just finding what wants to be healed within yourself so that you can have the level of love and connection that you desire. The second thing that you wanna do is heal your relationship with yourself. The relationship you have with yourself affects every relationship you enter, every single one. And that's, I feel like one of the biggest parts of them being the mirror is that they're helping you have a better relationship with yourself if you will allow it. So yes, build some self-awareness. Then when you have that awareness of those patterns, you have to go in and heal. Heal your triggers. Heal your insecurities. Heal your inner five-year-old wounds, your inner child wounds, your attachment wounds. And because when you feel unwounded and secure in who you are, you have a deeper access to love for yourself and in relationship. And I think that this is really beautiful. This is some of the work that I've been doing on myself and healing a lot of my wounds in relationship. Oftentimes if Marc triggers me, I'm like, "Okay, what is that healing in me? Where's the gift in it? How am I being strengthened in my own belief in myself?" Seeing myself as whole, divine, and worthy, and not fragmented or broken or not good enough or anxious that, that the enemy wound getting kicked up. So when you clear those out, you feel more secure in who you are, and there's no... There's less wounding, so you're less reactive. There's more peace. There's more love. There's more connection. There's more intimacy. And it translates. Like, the way that I love my body right now, I could have mentally never gotten here. It was through soul work and healing myself and seeing the beauty within me being just uniquely me. And a lot of that happened through triggers in relationships. It's like I can see... I'm so grateful. Like, I wanna say to Marc, "Thank you for being my soul contract and helping me get here. I'm feeling safe in myself, feeling secure in myself, feeling, like, less wounded, and that you held the space for me to navigate through this." So that is your next step. And if you're not sure how to heal yourself, book a free 15-minute clarity call and see how working together can help you. They're confidential, and there's no obligation. But... Or start to lean into your intuition, because you can do this on your own. Just sometimes it, when you don't know, it's hard to know what, where's the starting point. So start with connecting within and seeing Developing that relationship with yourself and your intuition, that's a really great place to start. The third thing you're gonna wanna do is learn emotional safety. Many people did not grow up experiencing emotional safety consistently or at all, and so it can feel foreign. It's like you're trying to learn a different language that you don't even know, and I think that's really important because you can give yourself perm- permission and patience to learn. And that was the word, learn emotional safety. It's not have it, it's start to study it and embody it and learn about yourself, because healing means learning that your emotions are valid, every single one. Your needs matter, every single one. Vulnerability can be safe, and healthy communication is possible So if there's something that you have a hard time with, like if you have a hard time communicating your needs, sit with your throat chakra. What's... Where did that come from? Were you not allowed to have needs as a child? And start to notice what patterns, stories, and programs come up, and then anchor in what would healthy, safe communication look and feel like. And sometimes you say... I'm hearing squawk the word scared because it's new. You're doing something new, and you're developing this skill set. Our communication from when we first started dating to now is light years different. We definitely learned how to communicate with respect, with neutrality, with compassion, with holding each other accountable fr- from a place of love, not attack, and really making sure that each other's needs get... That they matter and that our emotions... So even if I have an emotional reaction and Mark doesn't think it is, like he doesn't see it that way, he doesn't tell me, "Oh, you're overreacting," or di- disregarding my emotions because that's... When you have someone that disregards your emotions over and over again, or "You're crazy," or, "You're too much. You're too this," that's not the person for you, and you need to clearly say. So what you're saying is that I'm not allowed to have emotions. Is that what you're saying? Because you're supposed to be the person, and that allows me... You're, like you're my partner. I'm supposed to come to you, and equally, I want you to come to me. That's what we do, right? Sickness and health, the good or bad, good seasons, like hard seasons or not, you're saying we are two people that are committed to figuring it out together and holding each other accountable for that, and I think that's really important. And also knowing, I know that if there's someone who emotions don't feel safe, so avoidant attachments, oftentimes emotions are scary for them. It's very overwhelming and overstimulating. So I'm very mindful of that, that a lot of times if I can process my emotions on my own, I will process first and then come to Mark with what I need or what I just processed from a- place of more calm because I don't wanna stress him out either, right? And equally, there's certain thing- we just have these things that we know about each other where it's developed over time about learning, like, how do I feel emotionally safe in myself? I'm not needing him to fix my emotions. I'm going in and fixing them. But also sometimes I'm able to say, "Can you hold me while I navigate this? Because this is a big one." And he's there because I'm telling him what I need. But if I'm just like, "Why are you not fixing me?" Or, like, com- which is so many people, we expect someone to come in and rescue us as knight in shining armor, and it's like we're our own knight in shining armor. And when we learn to feel safe in ourself and then ask, the partner is just like the cherry on the top, right? But you have to be safe in yourself. So this is what you're learning, and then have that safety in union. It is game-changing. The fourth thing you wanna do is stop romanticizing chaos. Intensity is not always love. Sometimes calm, healthy love initially feels unfamiliar because your nervous system is addicted to unpredictability or emotional highs and lows. So don't create drama, just say what you need. This is where clarity comes in. So if you're upset about something, clearly communicate it. If you haven't listened to the episode yet on the 20-- what we've learned in 20 years of marriage, that was one of the biggest things is- That clear communication and just really saying what you need is game-changing. I always thought he could read my mind or that he could see the way that I see, because that's how I internalize things. And also in healing, I... This is just channeling it in real time. Allow your person to heal differently than you. Don't expect them to do the work the same way that you do it. This is something that I definitely learned in divine love, is that I would meditate, and I get so much wisdom and insights and clarity through meditation. I can heal so beautifully in meditation. Like I, I cried today in meditation. I processed the pain that was in my heart, and I could see the gift in it, and I released it, and it's really awesome. So it's like when Mark and I would meditate together, for me, it was a bid for soul connection, for connection to deeper love and healing. And we would come out of meditation, and I'd be like, "So, what'd you see? What'd you know? What'd you... And he was like, "Meditation is different for me. And when you jump and need answers right away, it's unnerving to me." And I was just like, "Oh, that's very helpful," because I'm actually pushing him away from the very thing that I want him to do by expecting him to have the same experience as me. And I'm saying this because I think often as women, we think, okay, we do things a certain way, and we want men to do it the same way that we do, and it doesn't work like that. We're hardwired differently. It doesn't mean that we can't meditate together, but I'm gonna allow him to have his process, and I'm gonna allow myself to have my process. And I think that's really important because it, it's a really nice way to not have drama and allow the person... Because again, if you're nagging them to do it a certain way, like would you wanna be nagged to heal and do it, uh, however your husband is healing it? I'm pretty sure you're saying no. And because I do things my way, because this feels good for me, right? So yes, there are things that you can do to heal and grow together, which I think is really beautiful, and I think setting up those practices to connect with yourself and then setting up practices where you connect to each other. So eye gazing is a really beautiful one. Meditating together is a really beautiful one. Having baths together, giving each other massages. There's so many ways that you can create these intimate moments of soul connection where it's really nice. And even we've been watching shows a little bit more now. Before it was we were always with the kids. This one goes here, the here, and now they're all a little bit older, so we have more time for us, and we've been actually cuddling like teenagers, and I love it. It... because to me, it's just like how lucky am I that 23 years in, I have this man who wants to grow old with me. He actually told me, he's, "You should not dye your hair. Just own it. Confidently own who you are because I think you're beautiful." And at first I f- freaked out and was like, "Oh my God, I don't know if I can do that." But I'm just like, wow, how cool is it that- I have this man that wants to grow old with me, still wants to cuddle me, wants to grow with me. We're building things together. This is it, right? But so many people, we miss those moments of connection or we rush or... I know the old me would've been like, "I have to do the laundry and I have to do this, and I have to do this." And then by the time I'm ready to settle down, he's ready to go to bed. And it's... We're making these more intentional moments for connection. We have date night all the time. Yesterday we had a coffee date in the morning to brainstorm business stuff. So I am holding him accountable for growing in his business, and he's holding me accountable for growing in my business. And it is really cool because he sees my blind spot sometimes and I see his, and we call each other out on it in the most beautiful way of, "Of course you can do this," or, "Of course..." So for example, he's probably gonna get mad I'm sharing this, but he's doing this webinar series. It's a free series. It's absolutely incredible. And I was like, "You need to post here and here and do it this way." And he's, "I don't wanna be salesy." And I'm like, "You're giving free content. How is that salesy? You're literally sharing so people have the opportunity to get free information from you as an expert. Share. Get out of your own way, ego." And equally, he's, "Have you figured out this for your editing your podcast? And you're gonna get your recordings up and you're..." So you're gonna see that stuff coming. But we create these intentional moments to connect in relationships. So and then also we have patio beers. So we, we're not perfect all the time. Yes, health is really important, but we love patio season. It is just like to go have a beer together, sit across the table, and have a meaningful conversation. It's connection, so it's really beautiful. And I think It's so easy to get caught up in the hustle bustle, or I see so many people when they go out to a restaurant and both partners are on their phone. It's what is more important than the person that's sitting in front of you? What are you doing? Put your phone away. Have these rules where you're mindful and you're intentional about where your love and energy is going. And I know that this is a whole side tangent that wasn't part of these steps, but I guess what I'm saying, instead of stop romanticizing chaos, start romanticizing the love that's already there. The... And if you're not in a relationship, know that, okay, what is secure, calm, consistent, reliable, beautiful love look like versus that chaos? And if you're in a relationship, say what it is that you want, make more bids for connection, and savor them. I'm not sitting there cuddling in his arms and being like, "And now I need something else." I'm, like, in the present moment thinking, "How lucky am I that we got here?" Because it wasn't always like this. There was a l- a painful cycle. And what I've heard, and I think this is important to share, that every long-term couple has at least one experience where they're not sure if they're gonna make it. There's w- there's at least one experience where they are both, or one, but typically both, not sure if they're gonna make it because it's a hard season. But if you have enough there, and you'll know, a- again, listen to the episode, oh, it's More Raw and Real, that Mark and I did together, that we were s- there. We're standing on the other sides of the Ca- m- the Grand Canyon like, "How did this happen? We're two people that love each other. What happened?" Right? Life happened. And so the wisdom that we've learned from that is to never take each other for granted and let life happen like that, because I don't ever wanna be in that kind of relationship or marriage ever again. So we are intentional as fuck now. We are not lucky. We are very mindful. We have clear boundaries. We hold each other accountable, and we romanticize what we have. I look at his gray streaks and it w- someone had once said silver fox, so it's definitely something that st- sticks, and I just love him more. And that's divine love, right? You, y- it just, the love grows. It changes over time, but it grows. And you romanticize the life that you have. You're not looking to... The grass is greener where you water it, is what I'll say. So the fifth step is practice conscious communication. I'm gonna say this all the time, conscious communication, because healthy relationships require honesty, and they require you holding yourself accountable and your partner accountable. If something feels like a red flag, like you just did something that I'm not okay with in this marriage or with how it made me feel, you have to have that hard conversation and say, "Hey, when you did this, I didn't like that. Moving forward, this is a boundary that I would like because X, Y, Z." And if you can explain it in that way, and your partner can listen, so this is the second part of conscious communication where we talk about active listening, then they're wanting to hold the space for you. If Mark tells me something that I'm doing is hurting him, I don't want to do that because I don't wanna hurt him. So I'm like, "Okay, where's the line? What, where's the need? Tell me. I'm listening." And that's really important. That's... A healthy relationship r- requires you to be honest. Because if you hold those things in, you build resentment or you abandon what your intuition's saying to hopefully not cause a fight with the other person. But if you just said it... And I think that's the thing, like Mark shared in the episode, he's, "Men are simple. We think very simply. We don't make up stories. It's very tell us what you need." And I realized through our healthy relationship and communication, the more that I can communicate my need clearly without charge... And someone shared this the other day, I statements. I felt hurt, and I need this. It's less about activating them. When you did this to me, boo. Like, when you create that drama in your communication, you're just gonna get more drama. When you come at it from looking for solutions and having solutions, you're gonna get a resolve. And that's the idea of healthy communication, is you're having resolves. You're having your needs met. You're having connection. So if you're in a relationship and you're like, "I don't know when the last time we went on a date," instead of being like, "You never take me out," you wanna say, "I'm craving a date with you, babe. What would be something that's fun that you wanna do?" And then book it. Just book it. And then maybe you might wanna say, "Hey, last time I booked a date. I'm craving a date again. I want you to book something and surprise me." Say what it is that you need and what... from a place of actually making it clear on what you need Because avoidance keeps relationships disconnected. So if you avoid what you're feeling, if you avoid that red flag, if you avoid that hard conversation, if you are sitting there feeling unseen and you're just holding... That's where affairs happen because you're creating this connection, your partner's thinking everything's okay, and then someone gives you a flutter of connection, it's so easy to be like, "That's exciting." But it's like until it's not, right? It's like the universe is gonna keep giving you the same relationship patterns over and over again until you heal and grow. It's like that on your own personal journey, and it's like that in relationships. And that's why when you have someone who they have the wound of attracting emotionally unavailable men, and then they get out of that relationship, and then they get into the next relationship, and they haven't done any healing work, they're gonna attract an emotionally unavailable men or a man. And that cycle happens over, and they're like, "Why do I keep picking bad guys?" It's exactly what inside of you is attracting that. And not to blame yourself, but to take the invitation to heal that part of you so that you start attracting emotionally availability or emotionally available men that meet you at your level, 'cause you've done that inner work and healing. So avoiding that, it just repeats. And I will say this for men, too, and like a lot of men don't feel safe feeling their feelings, so they avoid a lot, they hold in a lot, they don't say a lot. But if you can come and say, "What is it that I do that you love the most? What is it that I do that you would like me... like that you don't actually love or that you would prefer I didn't do?" And then you can get them to slowly open up when you ask the right questions or have them in the right environment and that it feels safe for them, right? They need to feel safe, too, to open up. Because if they open up to you and you emasculate them, they're never gonna open up to you again And so I think that's really important. The sixth step is to allow yourself to receive. Many people feel safe giving and not receiving, but divine love requires both. You need to have an openness to receiving support, receiving care, receiving emotional closeness, receiving vulnerability and affection. Receiving is part of the healing, and if you're the kind of person that cannot receive a compliment, you're the kind of person that is a people pleaser, you're the kind of person that learned that you have to earn love, or you have to work hard for love, or you have to overgive, or you lose yourself in relationship, I'm talking to you. You need to work on your ability to receive just by being you. There... Divine love is there's a reciprocity, and it's not through scorekeeping. It is legit, like Mark works so hard for our family that when he gets home at 7:00 at night, he's going to have a hot meal on the table, a hot, healthy meal that has protein and veggies and fiber. And because I respect him so much for the work that he's doing, the pr- the way that he's providing for our family, and I want him to receive love through that hot, cooked meal that is so nourishing for him. And equally, it's really lovely because then he's always, "Thank you for the food, babe. I appreciate what you bring to this family, too." That's reciprocity right there. Or I make sure that he always has a healthy breakfast, so he has healthy snacks to keep him going because that's my role in our relationship. And I think understanding your roles and respecting each other's roles is really helpful, too, in... Because a lot of times we'll ask, "You never do this for me," or, "You never do that for me." But look underneath the layers at what... how they show love, because everybody's gonna be different. Mark is not super gushy or words of affection or anything like that, but he shows me love in so many subtle ways. And if I was just looking for love through words of affirmation, then I would be missing a lot because I'm only looking for love from one source. And I think that's really important to note. How are they trying to show you love? And we actually had this conversation, I'm gonna throw it in here. One time I said, "How do you receive love? What makes you feel the most loved by me, and how do you think I, I love you?" So he was like, I... What he, I thought I was doing to love him was not how he was receiving love, and what he thought he was doing to show me love was not how I was receiving love. And I- that's the whole premise of the five love languages, is that we often give love the way that we want to receive love. But often, other people's love languages are different, right? I... For me, gifts isn't a big one. It's just not. So when someone gives me a gift, I'm like, "Oh, shit. What do I give them back?" I don't even know what to do because that's not my love language. I appreciate them, but it's like I'm not very good at that kind of acts of service. But quality time, oh, yeah. Words of affirmation, yes. Physical touch, absolutely. And acts of service, oh, totally. I'll make you whatever you want. I will cuddle you. I will give you a Thai massage, whatever it is, right? But all of this to say, know how you give and r- want to receive love, and then equally have that conversation with your partner. What makes them feel the most loved? 'Cause oftentimes we assume. And that whole thing, assume is like making an ass out of yourself and the other person, you and me. You don't want to assume, and I think that's a problem a lot of times in long-term relationships and marriages, is we're like, "I'm not gonna say anything 'cause every time I say something, then he's gonna say this." If you've already assumed that he's not going to hear you, and so it is. What if you, you can always heal and grow. When I first was into tarot and oracle cards, Mark was not. He was not on board. And then over time, I was just like, "Oh, it'd be fun to pull together." And then he knew that made me happy, so it was something that he would do. And now every single morning I pull cards for us, and it's a conversation starter for us to connect on a soul level. But had I said, "Oh, my husband's just not into that," he never would've been open to it. But I was slowly like, "Hey, this makes me happy. This is a part of who I am. This is authentically me. It would be nice if you could love that part, and maybe you don't understand it, but can we find common grounds here?" And when you ask that, they're more likely to wanna find common grounds with you. So why would you even wanna work towards divine love and union? I think it's pretty obvious. But because this kind of conscious love, it transforms you on a cellular level, on a soul level. This work, I don't... I can't even... The level of love that I have now versus three years ago when Mark and I did that podcast is insane because we've healed so much to get to that point three years ago, and then now it's, like, next level. And I'm excited for where it's going. But for right now, I'm in this blissful moment of, wow, we really did this. And I really am meeting myself through this relationship, and really meeting him and his inner wounded five-year-old in this relationship. And that level of love is so deep. It's about creating a divine love th- that is aligned with who you really are and who they really are. It's about creating a relationship where both people feel supported in each other's healing, in each other's growth, in their truth, in their evolution. You're witnessing. You're seeing them fully and letting them fully see you. It's so beautiful. Healthy love can deepen your own self-awareness. It can create emotional healing within yourself. It can expand your spiritual growth. It can increase your nervous system safety and teach you how to love more authentically. But most importantly, it allows you to experience connecting without abandoning yourself, and that's really powerful. I find so many people abandon themselves in love, and they call it self-sacrifice or, "Oh, well, I'm just doing this in the name of love." But real divine love wouldn't ask you to abandon yourself. It wouldn't ask you to have your needs not be met. Sometimes there is compromise. Sometimes there's two people where one person thinks one thing is okay and one person thinks it's not okay. And the idea is that you have the resolve and you c- come to a clarity where both people feel safe. And we- we've definitely had those kinds of conversations. And I think it's really important because- You want to make sure that the boundaries that you have are in alignment with your integrity, with your authenticity, with your intuition, and that's a felt experience and that's a shared experience. So that is really important too A couple important truths about conscious love is that divine love is not codependency. I think that's really important. Someone is not completing you. It... You're independent on your own. You're self-resilient on your own. Your self-worth is not dependent on them loving you. Your self-worth comes from you loving you. Healthy love still requires boundaries. This is what I was just talking about. It still requires boundaries on what is acceptable, what is not acceptable. How will you be treated? How will you handle a hard conversation? And there's holding each other accountable. And this happens in real time because you might have a moment where your inner wounded five-year-old comes out hot and heavy, right? And it's really helpful to have those boundaries so that you can see what's happening. Or even that conversation. I know one time Mark said, "I think my inner child just had a freak out." And I'm like, "Yep, that exactly happened." So I'm gonna hold the space to merely, "Yes, that happened. Thank you for coming to me. What do you need? What's the resolve," right? Where's the healthy boundary there? Conscious relationships still experience challenges, and I think that this is really important. It's not, "Okay, we're here. We've arrived." It's like your health. Your health journey is until you pass. Every single day, your health is gonna ask, "How are you showing up for me today?" Your money is the same thing. Y- it just, every day, like how are you investing in your long-term growth and stability? Every day for my business, obviously I take the weekends off mostly, but it's how am I investing? I don't just show up one day and then not show up and hope that I'm gonna have a successful business and podcast or whatever. And it's also the same way in love. Every single day, how are you investing in love for yourself and in love in your partnership? Every single day ask yourself that. And it shouldn't be hard. It should be effortless the, in the way that you wanna show up. Yes, there will be challenges, 100%. I, like I had a challenge today. But the thing is, I was able to navigate it so much faster because I was like, "Oh, there's a trigger. I know this is a me thing. I'm gonna go do meditation. Okay, I'm gonna cry 'cause I'm a Pisces." And then it's resolved, and I'm like, "Wow, thanks. That's another thing cleared out of the storage closet of my heart." And it allows me to come more securely into myself and this faith and strength within myself, and I think that's really beautiful. It's... And so I could take the challenge that came up today and be like, "Oh my God, here we are still arguing about the same thing over and again, and why do you wanna keep hurting me on this situation?" And it was like, no, we're not seeing eye to eye. There's something inside me that needs that. Then I can clearly communicate what happened. I can put a boundary up. We know where we are on that topic, and then we can put it to rest 'cause there's resolve because I'm open to- clearing out what's happening in me, and then communicating that with him so there's no guessing. There's just clear communication. And then that challenge dissolves because we're able to meet it head-on and not w- blow it up into making a mountain out of a molehill. It's just, okay, in real time I'm walking away. I'm gonna meditate. Okay, I cleared out. This is what I have, blah, blah, blah. Healing is also not linear, and I think that this is really important, even just touching on what I just talked about, is that sometimes you're, you're smooth sailing down the highway on your red convertible, hair is in the wind, and you're just like everything's really good. And then something comes out of the blue, and you're like, "Not this again. I thought we healed this." And it's just like, it's just not linear, okay? So give yourself the time and space. Let things come up when you're ready for them. Communication matters more than perfection. So it's not about what you look like as a couple, it's about how you make each other feel, okay? And that respect piece with communication is really important. And do it scared is what I'm hearing. Because there's some people that are like, "I don't know how to do that." We didn't either, but we... It's like you figure it out together. And you figure out, I figure out what my patterning is when there's conflict, and what his patterning is when there's conflict. And I work on not shutting down, and he works on not getting e- upset or defensive. And when we know that, it's not like I'm like, "You're always defensive." I'm like, "Okay, how can we navigate this where I feel safe and you feel safe?" That's step number one. So figure out yourself, figure out your partner, figure out your communication. It's gonna be so helpful. And chemistry alone is not compatibility. So if you're getting in a relationship and it's just all about the flirtation and the chemistry and the zaza zoo, but there's no soul connection, they're probably not your person Love is also not meant to cost you your identity. I think that this is a big one, especially for women. We're taught to overgive, to people please, and we can lose ourself. And I think one of the most attractive things that men see in a woman is a confident woman who knows who she is. She knows her identity. I think that is the one of the most attractive things because you know your worth and you know what you're bringing to the table. You know you don't h- have to overgive. You still give, but you don't overgive. And the last thing that I'll say is that you do not have to earn healthy love through suffering. You do not have to do that. One of the biggest truths about all of this is that the quality of your relationship often reflects the quality of your relationship with yourself. So if you have a r- and I know that might be hard for some people to hear. I know you're like, "Nope, it's him." "Nope, it's her." I saw the comments of one of those posts today about connection and partners, like what does your partner do that makes you get very excited? And there were a lot of men in there that were like, "I don't know. My partner hasn't touched me in the last nine months. The only thing my partner's done is yell and matter at me." And it's just, okay, yeah, that would be hard, but your partner doesn't wanna not love you. There, there's an issue there. How are you showing up? How are you giving love? And I think sometimes when you've been together for that long, it is hard because things just build up because people don't have these skill sets. So I will say develop that relationship with yourself. How can you love yourself more? And then when you f- when you love yourself, you vibrate differently, and then you can at- bring that wisdom into the relationship. You can hold that level of accountability in what you want. But it's so easy to blame other people. I'm gonna say it one more time, though. Y- the quality of your relationship often reflects the quality of your relationship with yourself. Boom. I feel like that is a mic drop moment, and allow that to sit for a minute. How does that feel? Divine love is not about finding someone to save you. It's about two people choosing to meet each other consciously, honestly, respectfully, vulnerably, and intentionally. Really intentionally. Is choosing love that is rooted in truth over fear. And while on a soul level love can feel deeply beautiful, it also asks us to grow. And growth isn't always easy. Sometimes it's uncomfortable. It asks you to expand. It asks you to look at your wounds, your nervous system dysregulation. It asks you to heal, to soften, to become emotionally honest, to release protective patterns, and to learn how to love without abandoning yourself. Because conscious love is not just about connection with another person, it's about coming home to yourself. Relationship and companionship, it's often seen as a vehicle for growth, for healing, for expansion, and deep self-awareness. And one of the most powerful aspects of a relationship is that they can provide corrective emotional experiences. When I was thinking about that, I'm like, how beautiful is that, that take that little girl who has the fear of abandonment and that's, that shows up and causes a lot of blocks in divine love. A lot of blocks. But if their partner can mirror to them and gives them that corrective experience so that they know they don't have to... They no longer fear abandonment 'cause they know they'll never abandon themselves, and they're good in themselves, and they have high self-worth, and they're feeling secure. Wow, what a gift that your partner can mirror to you. And equally, if you have the partner who was taught that emotions aren't safe, they're gonna be avoidant. And that avoidance is actually putting a wall up of feeling their emotions, of feeling safe to heal, of receiving love. Because at, on some level they learned that wasn't safe. Maybe the person that has shame, they're not receiving that love, so they're getting that corrective experience on how to solve and resolve and heal shame so that they can see that there was nothing wrong with them. It was a corrective experience from childhood. Or that the person that learned that emotions weren't safety, that they, it's safe for them to feel. It's safe for them to soften. It doesn't have to be overwhelming. They don't have to avoid themselves. Imagine avoiding yourself and your healing and your growth. That's hard. But that person getting that corrective experience with the... They're gonna likely attract someone in that's gonna show them or mirror to them what it looks like or hold them accountable to that in, not in a you need to do this, but just like I am, like I am seeing like, "I am Mother Teresa. I'm a safe energy where you can be yourself, and I can show you if you will open to it." And because you're safe, they're often probably attracted to that safety so that they can get that corrective experience, which I think is pretty cool. One time I was thinking about it, and I'm like, how do anxious and avoidants get together? What kind of sadistic model is that? Because they're wanting closeness, and when they want closeness, avoidants pull back, and then when anxious pull back, avoidants come in. I'm like, it's just weird. But it makes sense in relationship. They're going to give each other the corrective experiences to ultimate healing and freedom if they will allow themselves to meet on that soul level and become conscious and see that gift in that union, which is really cool. I wanna quickly talk about divine marriage because I think that it... Divine love is love, but marriage is like a contract, a negotiation, or I'm seeing the justice card, an agreement between two souls. It's not just a piece of paper that you sign. It's a conscious commitment to grow together. Did you sign up to grow through hardship, through all of it? If you did, then you'd be open to it. And y- you would understand that each hardship, there was a lesson there. I went through a season of hardship when my dad passed, and Mark stepped up to love me, to hold me, to take on the extra, that commitment even when I was in a hard, ugly, difficult phase. He loved me more, and that's what you want. And equally, like, if anything happens to him, I want to take care of him. If he's sick, I want to be... make him the good food and all the things, 'cause I want to make him feel better, right? So this idea of a conscious commitment to grow together. You're- you choose partnership over isolation. You build a shared vision together, and that's why I love those coffee dates because, yes, I'm watching him build his business, and it's so beautiful, and he's so smart, and I respect all the things that he's doing. And I'm so excited to cheerlead him, and equally, he has such a belief and faith in me and my business and everything that I'm doing. It's so cool that he cheerleads and he shares that vision with me, and together we talk about what are we building? What's our five and 10-year plan? What's our this year plan? You also are creating stability together because you want to create... I'm seeing the Four of Wands. You wanna create that s- stability so you have this strong foundation. So it's... Huh, I'm also seeing Ten of Pentacles. It's a foundation that lasts. It's like legacy energy. You're also supporting each other's evolution and committing to navigating the seasons o- of life that happen together. Because I, again, there was huge growth years for me where it was a lot of healing, a lot of shedding, a lot of things not going right, a lot of career changes, a lot of uncertainty, and he was right there. And then equally, there's been things that have been coming through for him, and I'm trying to hold the space for him to, to navigate those se- seasons and cycles and seeing how it's all connected and we support each other. So in your marriage, do you feel like you have that conscious commitment to grow together? And if you don't, that's okay. We didn't have it either. We figured it out through pain and hardship, through things not going right. We're like, "Okay, wait, what?" And so I will say there's always a way, and it's the, are you choosing to find the way? Are you choosing each other? It's not just I love you. Those are just words. Anybody can say that. It's I choose to grow, learn, and evolve with you. I choose to love you through every season. When we're get gray hair and laugh lines, like, how lucky are we that we have this history and that you know all of my things? You know all of my things. Like, how lucky are we? And I think so often people don't see that. They wanna trade in for a younger version or something that looks better, and it's like, it's not gonna feel better. You're gonna repeat the same cycle with just a shinier model. And the highest purpose, I think, of marriage at this level, at the deeper spiritual level, is to teach us first how to love another person more fully, and second, how to love ourselves more fully in our self-worth, in our boundaries, emotional safety, forgiveness. You're gonna have to forgive each other. I know Mark sent me this reel. It's this old couple dancing, twirling in the street, and it says, "How many times do you think they had to forgive each other on this journey?" 'Cause you know you're forgiving in a relationship because no one's perfect. I'm gonna mess up, and I hope he forgives me. And he's gonna mess up, but we're not intentionally trying to mess up. It's like there's these things that we learn, right? And so you forgive. There's this level of authenticity that really comes through. This au- authenticity and self-respect in marriage in when you hold each other accountable is really cool. And o- one last thing I'll say is relationships can be a classroom for the soul. Many people go into relationships thinking, "I'm... I would just want this person to make me happy," or whole or complete me. But they come into your life to make you more conscious, and the more conscious you become, the more capable you are of experienced genuine happiness, connection, and love. Not to complete you. It's to help you remember who you are, grow into who you're becoming, and create space where love can be expressed in its most authentic form. How empowering is that, you guys? Does your relationship feel like a classroom for your soul? Are you feeling conscious in your partnership? If you found something helpful in this episode, let me know. I love hearing what you guys are loving. And if you know someone who would love this episode, I would so appreciate it if you send it to them, too. And until next week, shine on, my friends.