The Sacred Womb
Come home to your true nature; Embody The Wisdom Of Your Menstrual Cycle, Heal Across Your Soul’s Journey & Unify Your Divine Masculine and Feminine.
The Sacred Womb
3 Core Issues That Hold Us Back & What To Do About Them
I explore 3 core issues that I see over and over again in my work, particularly with women. I describe how each particular aspect shows up, the root cause, and what to do about it.
Perpetually Putting Others’ Needs Before Our Own
THIS LOOKS LIKE
A hypersensitivity to what others are feeling and what they possibly need. After very quickly and automatically scanning the other person, we quickly attempt to regulate, fix, and advise them (without them asking) into a state where we have some sense of safety or security.
When we have this pattern of relating in our nervous system, people often describe themselves as empaths or highly sensitive. However, the reality is that we’re hypervigilant.
I should add that our current societal structure rewards women for doing this!
Over-Functioning In Relationships
believing it’s our partner that needs to get help
THIS LOOKS LIKE
Becoming fixated on our partner needing to change so that the relationship can work; where they can grow, what they need to do, believing that IF ONLY they would go to therapy, stop doing this or start doing that, then the relationship would be ok.
If we’re genuinely doing our healing work, then we also need to look at why we are with someone who isn’t. That IS our attachment work. Parts of us that might be waiting or hoping for connection, rather than being able to assess if we’re still a good match. The perpetual trying to make things work is part of our attachment wounding and attempts to get a parent to love us.
So if you’re persuading someone to be nice to you, to like or love you, then it’s time to look at that perpetual try. Once that is understood and mostly dissolved, we can think more clearly, assess the situation as it is, and make a clear decision from our adult selves.
Staying in love-less relationships (particularly thinking it’s for the children’s sake), getting breadcrumbs of something that looks or feels like love, over-understanding a partner (you’re not his psychologist), we’re enabling the notion that he’s a little boy, and ignoring that we are also operating from a younger wounded place.
Trying To Get Unmet Childhood Needs To Be Met By Parents – As An Adult
THIS LOOKS LIKE
It’s the perpetual hoping, waiting, trying, longing for the love we didn’t get, and trying to get that from the people who couldn’t give that when we were young.
Yes, sometimes we humans do change, we do wake up. However, if your parents weren’t in a state of growth and development when we were children, the chances are high that they won’t be for the duration of their lifetime.
Sometimes, parents do awaken and do the work needed to develop themselves and have better relationships. In these cases, it comes from the parents’ decision. It doesn’t come from their adult children persuading them. It’s their decision entirely to look within themsel
Melanie Swan is regarded as a leader in healing the physical womb, restoring the metaphysical womb, and connecting with the cosmic womb.
She’s a Womb Medicine Woman and Soul Worker with 20 year’s experience – who guides and empowers women to come home to their true nature.
She hosts The Sacred Womb Podcast and runs The Womb Healing Training, and is currently writing her first book The Sacred Womb, which is, at its core, a handbook for the empowerment of womankind; due for release in late 2025.
Hello, hello everyone, a very warm welcome back to the podcast, and today I'm going to be talking about three core issues that hold women back and what to do about them. So, before I get on with that, I've got a couple of little announcements to make. The first one is that I've hired a virtual assistant, so I'm going to be much more able to get podcasts out to you, which I've been kind of struggling with over the last year, really, as I've been booked to see in one-to-one clients and crafting the womb healing training. So, yeah, jordan is now on board and we're going to get some processes ironed out and get you some podcasts, if not every month, every, if not every two weeks, every month maybe. So that's my aim, but yes, I also wanted to let you know that the womb healing training is now open for registration registration. So there are in-person and online options, and this is for you if you want to really get deep with your clients and confidently support them to process root issues that are affecting the womb. Of course, we can't just work on the womb, we have to work to with someone's whole system too, and the womb and then the integration. So it's really nice and thorough and deep and I'm going to just teach you everything I know and everything I do, um, so yeah, I'm really looking forward to meeting some of you on the training.
Speaker 1:The first one in person is in Devon in March next year, 2025. There's an online version. There's also unification of the masculine and feminine, and that's a module as well, and I'm currently also finishing crafting a module on incarnation and gestational and birth recalibration so that really recalibrates the attachment template. Get nice and deep. That's what we want. All the roots. So there's generational healing in there, there's past life work in there and, of course, there's deep attachment work in there. So it's it's the womb centered soul work essentially. So, yeah, if you want to integrate that into your practice and bring that to your clients and communities, all the details are on my website and I'm very, very happy to be bringing that. So, yes, any questions, just let me know. Okay, those are my announcements.
Speaker 1:All right, so now I'm going to get stuck into these three core issues that hold women back and what to do about them. So yeah, I'm going to explore them because I see them over and over and over again in my work with women, and whilst this list is certainly not exhaustive. Obviously it's three things. It's a short podcast. I've included the three top ones.
Speaker 1:I often see because women suffer alone with this for years, not even knowing that it's a common experience or it's a thing that can be healed, often trying to heal or change things top down, that's cognitively which does help, but it doesn't change it because it's a pattern in our brain and our nervous system. So we really need that deep root work, both in our attachments, in our gestation and across our soul's journey and we're just generational imprints as well so to really recalibrate our attachment template. So these are core attachment issues basically. So I'm going to describe how each particular one shows up, I'm going to explain the root cause and I'm going to give you some guidance as to what to do about it. There is no one healing modality that is the one. They're all different and have all got their different qualities and threads of truth and really it depends on how much work the person has done, how much work the therapist has done, basically in order that you can actually get to the roots. So no one way and we all have to piece it together ourselves. It is our own unique journey, but hopefully this gives you some guidance as to where to look and what to focus on. If you do recognize yourself in one or a few of these, please, please know, please know. If this is the main thing you get from the podcast, then this is it. Please know that you're not alone, that these are widespread attachment issues and that there is a path back home to yourself. There is, there is a path through, there is a way. It does take some effort, it does take dedication, it does take nice deep root work. However, that's all available to us in this current time space, in our reality. So it's all doable in this current time space, in our reality. So it's all doable.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we're starting with the first one, which is perpetually putting others needs before our own. I'm emphasizing perpetually because occasionally it's important that we do that if there's a danger, an urgency, a genuine danger or urgency, but if we're perpetually doing it every single day, or it's a pattern within our nervous system, it's a relational pattern with our partners, then it's a thing. We need to have a look at it. So what this looks like, how this shows up, is it's a hypersensitivity to what others are feeling and what they possibly need. So what happens is after, very quickly and automatically that's key as well automatically scanning the other person's energy. We're going to attempt to regulate, fix, advise them, without them asking, into a state where we have some sense of safety or security. So it's all about our own sense of safety and security.
Speaker 1:And when we perceive people are unsafe to be with, when we feel unsafe in their presence for any particular reason, that could be a genuine reality, but often it's not. It's the the person's just feeling themselves um, and maybe they are a bit unstable, but we're not actually at risk of anything, of any danger, but our system perceives us to be so. It is centered around our own safety. So I'm just going to say this again because I know how hard this is to get when we are experiencing it. So this looks like a hypersensitivity to what others are feeling and what they possibly need. And after very quickly and automatically scanning other people, when we're in this state of being, we quickly attempt to regulate, fix or advise them, without the masking, into a state where we have some sense of safety or security again.
Speaker 1:So when we have this pattern of relating our nervous system, people often describe themselves as empaths or highly sensitive. This is not a thing. The reality is it's it's hyper vigilant. So when we've processed the charge out of the hyper vigilance, the root, the root survival, terror it can be a skill, um, but being highly sensitive is actually being hyper vigilant when there's all that charging. So, basically, this way of relating to people and life often results in exhaustion, because that's very, very tiring to try and constantly scan and regulateair, because whilst we can potentially influence how another person's feeling, we can't actually truly regulate or change them. But the pattern is to keep trying, to keep trying, to keep trying. Because we basically kept trying with our parents.
Speaker 1:It leads to resentment because the person we're trying to regulate or help isn't grateful for our efforts. So, deep down, we think all I'm doing for them and they don't even recognize it. Well, they haven't actually asked. So, yeah, what resentment is is we're pissed with ourselves, basically because we're doing all this and it's not working and no one's thanking us for it. So it's kind of going against what we really truly want, really. So, yeah, the second aspect of the resentment is because in our hearts we don't really want to truly regulate other people, but the senses, the unconscious or subconscious belief, is that we feel we have to in order, that we feel safe and relaxed, and this just produces anger towards ourselves, towards other people, and that's just basically what resentment is Okay.
Speaker 1:So what is the root cause of this? That's very simple. The root cause is survival terror, and it's common for survival terror to be experienced whilst we're in our mother's womb, and it's common that it's because mum is perpetually or consistently under-resourced or emotionally unstable or has a strong conflict about being pregnant or just doesn't want to be. It's not that they don't necessarily want us personally. It's that they might be in a sticky situation and don't want to be pregnant, and or there are major incidents like domestic violence, or there is an accident where there is a real-time fear for one's life. However, more commonly and 90% of the time it's the first one it's where mum herself has built up pain, her own unprocessed trauma, a nervous system that's in trauma response fight, flight, freeze, fawn, hide, avoid, collapse, dissociate it's all that range of things. I know you probably used to fight, flight, freeze, but it is fawn as well. Then you've got hide, avoid, collapse, dissociate.
Speaker 1:So when mum is in that sort of response, we're going to feel it when we're in the womb, and so what happens? Is that the fetus or the baby or the young child feels this instability and experiences it as dangerous or even life-threatening, because the kind of we don't have logic at that stage, but the kind of nervous system logic is if mum's not okay enough to take care of me, I might die, and so then it produces a fear of death, fear for our own survival and a fear that we're not going to exist, and that is so, so common. And then the resulting coping mechanisms pile on top of that because we're just too young to feel it, we're too young to feel survival terror. So we naturally defend very, very quickly and we regulate mum. So yes, basically say that mum's okay.
Speaker 1:The developing child system fetus, baby, child system makes her a priority, makes the other person's well-being, stability a priority. Therefore, attending to mum's needs and adapting so that mum feels stable enough to take care of us, therefore we're okay. So if mum's not okay, we're not okay. If mum's okay, we're okay. So therefore, what happens is our center of loyalty, towards ourselves primarily, it shifts and we give priority to mum's needs and thus this becomes a pattern of prioritizing other people's needs before our own and it just, it's just so automatic.
Speaker 1:So what happens to our needs. Well, they get tucked away and we then have a pattern of relating that, as I said, it's others needs first, so that we're safe, and our own needs just get dissociated, that is, pushed away, not felt, fragmented off, not even recognized, so that we don't feel the pain of them not being met. So in our adult relationships, this can be extremely debilitating, both for the person who's regulating if we're the person who's regulating and for the person we're attempting to regulate, because it probably won't feel good for them as well. They might even experience this as um the over the over, uh attached mother. That that you know, is intrusive. So it's just when we end up with the person who's got our same attachment issues. Basically, anyway, when we have this pattern, we're prone to being people with people who might we might describe as more narcissistic because it's an energetic fit. So their needs just are priority and our needs are dissociated. However, this just isn't always the case, but it's a tendency. We can never say something is always the case.
Speaker 1:Okay, so what can we do about this? There is a lot we can do about this. It does take time everyone. It does take deep work. It does can do about this. It does take time everyone. It does take deep work. It does take attachment work. It does take processing of generational imprints and patterns. It does take processing and this is really, really important our souls journey patterns that we incarnated with already. It's very, very interesting work that, because it often reveals what we're already bringing in and it kind of takes the heat out of our attachment issues. It also resources us. It also helps everything make sense so that we can in fact process those survival terror routes that are very, very early on. Okay, so I'm just going to read what I wrote all this out before, because it's so it can be so complex to explain. I'm trying to do this clearly. I hope it's coming across. So what we can do is recalibrate our attachment template with deep and thorough attachment work is recalibrate our attachment template with deep and thorough attachment work.
Speaker 1:We do need to process the survival terror that created the need to regulate others or mum in the first place. So I'll say that again, we need to process the survival terror that created the need for the shift in loyalty. We need the root of it. This does take time. Our systems need to prepare for such deep work as the root survival terror, as I've said, is often experienced when we're in the womb. It's then common for there to be multiple attachment disruptions over time, that repeated sense of terror, and that those repeated experiences thus consolidate our relational patterns and our fears. Basically, however, it really genuinely is possible from personal experience, from experience working with loads of people, it is possible over time to prepare our system to process these roots and attachment, key attachment disruptions.
Speaker 1:We don't have to process everyone. Our system gets stronger and stronger every time we process survival, terror roots or expressions of that root, so that what we're doing over time is really creating more stability, more presence, presence in our system, more of a sense of our adult selves, so that we've really got ourselves. Once the terror is processed, it then enables that's not it, I thought it was it, it's not it. Once that root terror is processed, it enables the whole pattern of that way of relating to unwind. This also takes time. It does not happen overnight. You can't do it with one shot of one big healing session or one shot of plant medicine or one shot of this. There are no shortcuts. Whatever path you want to take, whatever therapy modality you want to do, whatever meditation practice you have, there are just no shortcuts.
Speaker 1:Our system needs to be strong and stable enough to be able to process these and for the nervous system and brain to repattern, because what happened was so fast, it was so quick, it was too much, it was too soon. The antidote is to slow down. Our system responds really, really well to slow, steady orientation, to the fact that we're now safe, and then all parts of us can gradually come home to the body, can gradually relax, can gradually come out of trauma response and actually live in the present moment and thrive. This all recalibrates our attachment template over time and it transitions us from a foundation of fear to a foundation of love and I can promise you that feels absolutely fantastic. It's not one finished thing that you say okay, my attachment template is now recalibrated because there's just a big unwinding over time.
Speaker 1:I found across the soul's journey as well, and it needs to be lived. Therapy and healing is just wonderful, a wonderful way to process all this stuff and we need to live this every day. It's. It's about being present with our own patterns and those parts of ourselves that need connection and support and presence whilst we're in relationship with others, being responsible for meeting our own needs, basically, and then bringing that to our relationships is is really, really a different story and creates a different experience than a fear-based template. So, yes, I hope that was useful, I hope. I hope it was clear. Um, I'm just going to do put a little transition in. I think we'll have owl today and then we're going to the next point.
Speaker 1:Okay, here's for number two, and it's really really directly related to number one, and that is over-functioning in relationships. Obviously, we've discussed that in point one, but it's then believing it's our partner that needs to get the help. If we over-function in relationships, if we're hyper-calling ourselves, hypersensitive empathic, if we're fixing, if we're doing all that kind of thing, it's us that needs help. It's not for us to decide if our partner needs help. It really isn't.
Speaker 1:So what I've seen happen, and what I've experienced as well, is is becoming fixated on our partner needing to change so that the relationship can work uh, where, identifying to them where they can grow, what they need to do, and also believing that if only they would go to therapy or stop doing this or start doing that, then the relationship would be okay. Now, that might be true. It might be true that they do. They could really do with going to therapy. They could really do with not doing this or that, but that's none of our business really. That's up to them as to, firstly, if they want to change and do, do they want to do it through therapy? It's not always the right way.
Speaker 1:What someone wants to do and what we're doing is we're diverting from ourselves, so we're not okay. Basically, if we're over functioning like that and being empathic and hyper vigilant and hypersensitive, it's it's us that needs to do that deep attachment work. Of course, then, when we've got a more secure attachment with ourselves, we can then decide do I want to be with this person from a much more objective outlook? And if we are genuinely doing our work and they're not, then there's only one thing that's going to happen we're going to split up. So that's just how it is. So if, if we are genuinely genuinely can't get my words out today if we are genuinely doing our healing work and we're with someone who's not, then that's also a thing we need to look at why we're with someone who isn't. That is attachment work as well. That is our own attachment work.
Speaker 1:Parts of us might be wanting or hoping or waiting for connection, rather than being able to assess if we're still a good match and there's perpetual trying in relationships to make things work. It's actually the attachment pattern we had as kids, so it's trying to make things work. It's actually the attachment pattern we had as kids. So it's trying to make things work with our parents trying to adapt, trying again, trying again, trying again, trying again. And it's so debilitating and that's coming from a child perspective in our system. That's not coming from an adult perspective. So that perpetual trying to make people lovers or likers that just don't is a trauma response in itself.
Speaker 1:If you do recognize yourself in this, please go easy on yourself with this. You people are often describing themselves as people pleasers. I saw something on instagram the other day the wisdom of instagram that says that said um, people pleasers are actually parent pleasers. Uh, so that's really where it comes from and it just it's a pattern in the nervous system. We can't just stop. We need to process the root, as I've already talked about so staining. This is a point I want to make as well, because it is particularly women that do this.
Speaker 1:Staying in loveless or toxic or bread crummy type relationships for the children's sake, uh, is not helpful, is really not helpful for the children at all. I've never worked with anyone as an adult that said, oh, my parents were really unhappy, my dad treated my mom like this, or mom treated dad like this, and I'm really glad they stayed together for me, because that's a whole load of weight of responsibility to put on a child. So much much better to do our attachment work and to make the changes that are necessary. Please don't stay in a toxic, loveless relationship because you think it's doing the kids any good, because it's not growing up in that environment. They're saying your template as well, that becomes their template and so it's just it's.
Speaker 1:I've never seen it be helpful. I know sometimes situations are difficult, but please do your best to do your healing work and get out of that, because it's just creating more pain. I'm not meaning to guilt you or anything. I'm just being really, really clear, because staying in, really staying in relationships for the kids it just doesn't lead to anything. Loving basically, nothing. Loving basically, so yeah, um, what that actually looks like is waiting for breadcrumbs over understanding, making excuses for our partner you're not his psychologist, you're not his therapist and what we're doing is we're enabling the notion that he's a little boy.
Speaker 1:I'm talking about heteronormative relationships here, because that's that's kind of the majority. What's happening? If you want to make it masculine, turn that into masculine, feminine, I don't mind, but it's just very complicated if I have to put all the pronouns into every sentence. I do, but please know that I'm including that from my own perspective, but it's just simpler if I can just say he and she, um. So yeah, we were actually enabling the notion that our partners are kids, basically, and making excuses for them and we're actually ignoring that.
Speaker 1:We're also operating from a younger, wounded place. I know I'm being really direct with you today, but I feel it's necessary because we do often need a wake-up call when we're just fixated on it's our partner that needs to change. So this is a wake-up call I gave to myself and it was helpful and I got divorced and learned a lot and it was, oh, I'm just so pleased I'm out of that and so pleased I did that deep work and it's just made me a much better therapist, much better for it. But I don't want to go through it again. No, thank you. Nice, healthy, secure attachment with self now and, uh, yeah, happy with my cat and if something fabulous comes along, I will engage with that, otherwise it's me and my cat.
Speaker 1:Okay, so what is the root cause I've already talked about it, but I'm going to give this more clarity to this particular one is our over-functioning and our over-tuning are wired into our attachment template because we've had to attune, adapt and stay vigilant with a parent both parents, carers, foster parents repeatedly. This way of being has become ingrained, literally patterns in our brain, literal patterns in our nervous system. But the over-fixation on somebody else else it does have us avoiding looking at ourselves and wondering what our part is in creating the relationship that we have as adults. So here's what we can do we can stop, we can take a breath, we can realize that it's us who needs help and then we get the relevant help. Now you can go to therapy, you can go to whatever you need to go to, but just seek out the relevant help to get to the root cause of your survival terror, of your adaption, of your over attuning.
Speaker 1:More and more the world of therapy is waking up to how severe and widespread our attachment disruption is and what it's resulting in. So yeah, however, you want to do that, whatever modality, whether it be in groups or one-to-one. Different things happening one-to-one, different things happening one-to-one than happening in groups. So, yeah, just feel into where you're at and what you need right now. But the healing focus needs to be getting to this gestational or early childhood either the incarnation or when you were in the womb or that very early attachment template.
Speaker 1:But please know again that there needs to be a good amount of system preparation and enough of an adult self, that's energy, that is present with no charge or little charge within our system to be able to get this deep. It's not a one-shot thing, it's not a two-month thing. It's months of prep, it's months of work, it's months of reconsolidating memories, it's it's months of doing lots of, lots of thorough stuff and it it is a commitment. So I'm saying this to you so that you know you, you can prepare yourself for that and, uh, yeah, take your time with it. It might take years, but it is a worthwhile journey.
Speaker 1:So, yep again, this looks like lots of acknowledgement, lots of connecting with younger parts, lots of connecting with teenage parts, lots of understanding what defense responses are clustered around the survival, terror, different stages of childhood, because really those parts of us need connection before moving to our fetus-aged self. Okay, I hope again that I'm explaining all this as clearly as possible for you. You may need to listen to this several times because your defense responses might be kicking. In. Listening to this, you might be dissociating. That's kind of just floating off, thinking about the shopping list at Sainsbury's or seeing a piece of dust that you have avoided cleaning for quite some time and now you want to do it, or just whatever. Whatever your system wants to do to get away from the survival terror, every single human being doesn't want to feel the survival terror. So please know you're not alone again. Okay, let's have our wall again and we'll move on to the last one.
Speaker 1:Okay, this is quite a big one again, very core, very common, and it's trying to get unmet childhood needs to be met by our parents when we're adults. I'll say it again, so it's clear trying to get our childhood needs that were unmet to be met by our parents or carers or foster parents as an adult. So we're basically trying to get our unmet needs. We're taking them to the people who didn't meet them in the first place, who weren't capable in the first place, and we're perpetually trying to get them to meet them. I'm sure if you've got this pattern, I'm sure you recognize, this is absolutely fruitless and it doesn't work and it's kind of defeatist and it's uncomfortable for both parties. So it might feel like a perpetual hoping, waiting, trying, longing for the love we just didn't get the lack, and just trying to get that from the people who couldn't give that to us when we were young is kind of the definition of madness. Really, it's trying to. We're doing the same action and trying to get a different response. It's just maddening. Basically, I'm not to get a different response, it's just maddening. Basically, I'm not saying you're mad, it's a maddening pattern. But uh, hopefully you get what I mean. So, yes, sometimes as humans we do change, we do wake up.
Speaker 1:However, if your parents weren't in a state of growth and development when you're a child, the chances are high that they won't be up for doing that when you're an adult or during their lifetime. However, I've occasionally seen parents awaken and do the work needed to develop themselves and have better relationships with their adult children. In these cases it always comes from the parent's decision. It never I'm saying that with a big capitals it never comes from the children, the adult children, kind of saying you need to do this, I want you to do. I want this from you. I need you to. It just doesn't happen. It's always got to be our own decision as to whether we actually look inside.
Speaker 1:So, really interacting with our parents as an adult, what we're doing is having this unexpressed, unexpressed expectation that they should love us in a way that we want to be loved, and it just they feel it and contract we. We have this unexpressed expectation and we contract as well, and it keeps us just stuck in a dynamic that doesn't work. I I'm not saying what happened was okay. I'm not saying any of that. I'm validating your pain, but just don't try and get that those unmet needs met by by the parents that just couldn't give it to you in the first place. It is part of growing up and it is part of the healing process to actually grieve for what we didn't get, and that's that takes time and it takes a real good amount of acceptance of our parents are the way they are and they're not going to change and they can't heal our wounds Literally. Only we can do that. We really need to turn within and meet ourselves and hear ourselves and see ourselves and bring that to our relationship so that they're healthier.
Speaker 1:Okay, so the root cause again. I mean, I've touched on this, but it's it's fairly straightforward. The root is that we just didn't experience enough love, safety and achievement as children. We just didn't. That's the reality of it. And what also can happen is sometimes, when we didn't get enough from our parents, if there were older siblings around, we can have had some sense of attachment from them. However, what happens sometimes as adults is we're still trying to get our unmet needs met by older siblings again. That that has a that's a riotous affair because obviously the older sibling wasn't getting enough either, and now they've got a younger sibling that is trying to get their needs met and kind of get them as a parent. So not great, doesn't feel great if you're the older sibling, like me doesn't feel great if you're the younger sibling, as my younger sister was. You might be the younger sister as well.
Speaker 1:So and what we do is we often displace our anger with our parents because we just we just can't tolerate attachment and being so angry with them and realizing that they're just not good enough. So we often displace our anger onto other siblings. So if that is happening and you've got a very fraught relationship with your siblings and they're older than you. I'd recommend you pull back your expectations from them. Then you'll be able to feel the pain of the lack of parenting. So, okay, what can we do about this? Okay, kind of already gone into that, but uh, yeah.
Speaker 1:So if we have expectations that our parents should love us in a certain way, what we can do is pull back that expectation, breathe our energy back into us and do that work within or whatever. Whatever else we need to do in whatever way to to generate that love that we missed from within, because there's always love within. But we just go away from ourselves because of trauma, because of unbearable, unbearable experience. We move away from self. I'll do this in another podcast. But what we need to do always is pull our expectations back and look within and really meet ourselves. Then we can process the original pain of lack, because the perpetual try in the projection it just covers that up. So, yeah, that's, that's that one, just a light podcast for a Monday afternoon.
Speaker 1:I hope that was really clear for you and, as I've said several times, you'll probably need to replay this several times. If you want to ask me any questions about it, you can email me. I'd love if you could leave me a review on apple podcasts or spotify. Tell me how that lands with you. Tell me if it was helpful, because I'm speaking here on my microphone and to no one. I'm speaking to you but there's also kind of no one responding here as well. But obviously I work with this in one-to-one healing sessions all the time, so I've learned to explain it in a way. Hopefully that's clear.
Speaker 1:But basically, all these what to do sections can be summarized as turning our gaze inwards, like and processing pain that was just previously unbearable, previously being underlined, previously underlined 20 times. It's not going to be unbearable when you process it now, because you, if we work together anyway, you'll be specifically more resourced and there's other ways of resourcing and doing that. So it's I'm not trying to say it's just me at all thousands of fantastic healers, but, um, if we work together, the specific resource in exercises, so that we're activating an environment of love before activating any pain, therefore, you're not going to be overwhelmed by what was previously unbearable, because you're bringing the pain into an environment of love. That's what resourcing means and a secure attachment, some sense of secure attachment within. So doing this with this life, doing with this with this with our child parts with our fetus self, is essential. We can never, ever skip that.
Speaker 1:However, what I've seen in my own healing journey and and work with others if we just focus on healing in this timeline, there are certain things that just won't shift. They process, but then you're like they're back again, and then they're back again, and then they process, but then you're like they're back again, and then they're back again, and then they're back again. You're like I must be doing something wrong, it must be me, it must be the therapy, it must be the, not therapy, just anyway. So that's what I found just processing those states where we'd been hurt only became. It got to the point for me, anyway, where I was starting to loop around in in kind of I don't know what you'd call it in too much therapy. To be honest, I was having too much therapy and I realized that, so I stopped, but I didn't know what else to do. Anyway, I discovered what it was. Um.
Speaker 1:So when we work across our soul's journey with our attachment template, um, we need to include victim, perpetrator and failed rescuer. States of being victim is where we've been hurt, perpetrator is where we've hurt others and failed rescuer is where we've tried to do something but failed, and we have the perception that we've failed and then we feel terrible about ourselves. So this is could be called like working multi-dimensionally, could be working across our souls journey. It's the same thing, but we need the roots in our consciousness, in the rest of our consciousness, as well as the roots in our incarnation and in the womb, and this is what helps us to fully recalibrate our attachment template and way of being with ourselves, our relationship with ourself, our relationship with source, our relationship with the world, our relationship with others. That's what I found made the actual difference.
Speaker 1:Um, because I'd had a lot, a lot of therapy done, lots of different things group work, workshops, relational stuff, um, some in utero work as well. That had just naturally come up. But when I started doing the soul work, that's what changed. Because it was all that backed up perpetrator stuff where I'd hurt others. Uh, that was just I wasn't really. I'd got to a point where I just wasn't healing anymore, but I could feel it as well. I felt almost kind of beside myself in the background. Um, yeah, I just like I just couldn't come to peace with myself.
Speaker 1:And so, yeah, I really needed to look at the perpetrator stuff, looked at loads, process, loads and loads of perpy stuff and and then the failed stuff, feeling like I was a failure, and these all led to like really uncovering these subconscious beliefs that I had about myself and the world and how things could be, which led to all these limitations that I would just I felt like I got um guy ripped, you know, like tent pegs my on my energy and I'd put it there myself. I'd really put it there myself. So looking at all of that really is, for me now, healing, because that means to become whole, and to become whole we need to look at the whole of our consciousness. That's not to say you need to do that all in one go. I did because, like all with one kind of person or all at the same time, you don't necessarily need to do that. As I said, you do need a good amount of system prep in this life in order to do that, in order to be sort of embodied to do that anyway. So if you're in the early stages of therapy, I'd suggest you work with this life.
Speaker 1:However, if you've done a fair bit of work and you're finding that, you're like, ah, this again, why is this not clearing? Why is it not? Why is it stuck? Why are my attachment patterns not really changing? Why is my flow, um, not flowing? Why is my work all clogged up? Why can't I just do the things I want to do? Why can't I get rid of these sort of limiting beliefs? Why is my world the same? Basically, then, opening up our healing process to our soul's journey, I've found, is very, very transformative.
Speaker 1:So, yes, I do hope I will leave that topic there, but I do hope that this podcast has been informative and has been able to reassure you that deep healing is possible. I've specifically been open with my own process on here because I've experienced it myself. I can't talk to you about anything I've not experienced within myself to a certain extent, and those I work with, because I wouldn't be telling you the truth otherwise. So, anyway, I feel like I'm waffling a bit now. I'm definitely waffling because I'm not talking to anyone. I'm talking to my garage band recording here and I can just see my own voice patterns going on. So I'm going to stop the podcast here and, as I said, please leave a review, please email me if you've got any questions. There's loads of information available on my website.
Speaker 1:Um, if you want to work with me with this, you can. If I you know, if we're not a good match for any reason, like time zone or stage or whatever, I can refer you to a colleague. I've got some really, really lovely, amazing, kick-ass healer colleagues. I really love them, so I can usually refer you to somebody or we can have a chat as to what stage you're at and what might be best for you now, and I'm going to be honest with you as to you know whether we are a good fit as well. If you are, let's get going. Let's roll up our sleeves, let's do some incarnation work, let's do some in utero work, let's get that survival terror processed and thrive in the world, because that is what it's all about. Okay, lots of love. I will see you next time.
