How To Develop A Genuine Adult Self

In this episode I explore the concept of becoming a genuine adult, 
what it means to develop emotional maturity and a grounded sense of self, what that looks like and feels like, and how we can do it in a way that increases our range of experience and expression.

Often, we equate adulthood with age, assuming that reaching a certain number automatically means we have attained emotional maturity. However, the reality is much more nuanced. 

Many of us find that despite our chronological age, we may still operate from various younger emotional states—those triggered by past experiences, traumas, or disruptions during our formative years. To truly embody a genuine adult self, we must address these emotional fragments and develop our capacity to respond to the present moment with intention and clarity.

What is an Adult Self?

An adult self can be summarised as the energy within us that has little to no emotional charge from the past, and so, therefore, can be present.

This energy, or 'amount' of our consciousness that is present is available to experience situations more as they are now, and make choices as to how to respond.

What are the features of an Adult Self?

Here are some of the main features here, however, they aren't exhaustive, there are so many possibilities! This list is an example.

As a genuine Adult, we're able to:

• Be in the present moment
• Make clear choices taking into account intuition and cognition. 
• Identify when triggered (distressing charge/memories are activated)
• Self-regulate
• Implement consistent self-care
• Take responsibility for our actions, behaviours, thoughts - whole self and impact on others.
• Identify and communicate our own needs
• Play! (play is to opposite of, and antidote to trauma)
• Access, embody and express a range of states of being
• Identify and implement clear boundaries
• Willing to be in love-based, mutual relationships with others

I also explore what 'Leading our System' from our Adult Self means, the relief that comes from un-fusing parts of ourselves that have been mistaken for our personality and reclaiming those qualities that were once buried beneath coping mechanisms.