Running a 5k + Your Marriage: the Parallels to Discipline + Intentional Effort

My daughter chose me to be her running buddy for her GOTR 5k coming up Mother's Day weekend. Yay! Except, even though I ran a marathon back in 2022, I haven't done much running at al since then... Panic!

Just kidding, but this episode exposes the need for a reality check in marriage so you know where you're actually starting, as well as, the similarities in DAILY intentional and diligent training and execution in marriage. Let's go!!

Transcript

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Hi, and welcome back to the High Level Wife podcast. I am Chelsea Holm, your host, and we do Marriage Godsway here. And today I got my butt out there and ran for the first time in I don't even know how long. I I don't remember the last time I ran, to be honest. It was probably last year in May when I went to the high-level husband, high-level wife marriage advance weekend in Vegas. Technically in Henderson, but um and I don't even we we didn't run that far. I think we just did like a few laps around the call to sack as part of our um group fitness together. But anyway, it's been a while. I say that it's been a while. But my daughter, Emma, is doing Girls on the Run. I don't know if you're familiar with this program, but it's big in this area, and she's doing that this year, and she's currently training for a 5K, but for the 5K, which is in like two weeks, I think, um, she needs a running buddy, and she asked me. And I said, Of course I will. And then I didn't do any running or training until just today. And and so today I was like, all right, I have gotta get out there and I've got I've gotta do this thing, right? Because I ran a marathon in 2022, right? I know that I'm fully capable of this. I don't have any current injuries or anything that I'm working through. I'm like, I don't know, two year two plus years out postpartum of being a gestational carrier. So like we're good, right? Like we can do this, we're fully capable. But it's been a while. And running, I don't know about you, it doesn't come naturally for me. It has never come naturally for me. Like it, I am not naturally fast. Though I will say when I was running today, like the cardio aspect of it obviously was the biggest challenge. Um, but the actual mechanics of it felt pretty good. And I think that probably has a lot to do with the fact that last year I started going to a new chiropractor and completely corrected so many issues that I had. One of which was your neck is supposed to be like this percentage of curvature. Um, mine was like 88%, so it was almost straight, and that's why my head always felt like it was so heavy, and I always had neck pain. Um, also, my right leg is slightly shorter than my left leg, so there was some imbalance there, which led to really tight hips over the years and overcompensation because I I ended up getting like this. Sorry, this is a lot of insight that I'm just gonna share with you because I am a huge advocate for the chiropractor and a really good one that is going to look at what's going on under the surface and to really spend the time with you to correct these things. Um, alignment, right? Like it's a godly thing. And when we're out of alignment with the Lord, when our hearts aren't in alignment with His, then we go off course and we walk in the flesh and things get out of order and everything goes awry. So, anyway, so I got this like small insert for my shoe. It's only like a quarter inch, but I remember the first time that I did a workout with it, it wasn't an exceptionally hard workout. Um, but I was sore for probably like a week plus because for the first time, probably in my in my whole life, my body was aligned and even. And so muscles that had been overcompensating were finally able to relax, and muscles that had been like totally checked out for my life were engaged, and oh my gosh, like it was intense. Um, but all of this to say, I ran today. It was pretty, it was pretty sucky in the sense of my cardiovascular state. Um, you know, but I pushed through, I wanted to get the whole thing, so I I went out and I ran the 3.1. I did not run the whole thing. I did like fire hydrant to fire hydrant. I would walk to recover, then I would push myself, which looking back, I probably should have just gone a consistent pace for a set amount of time. But I wanted to get the mental fortitude, the confidence that I can do this, I can finish, I am familiar with the distance that a 5k entails, right? So I did this today, and I will say I'm moving a little slower, a little sore, right? Working some muscles that I haven't used very often in that capacity. Um, but I just kept thinking about how, you know, what it's so easy to go out and to do something that we haven't done in a long time, or something that we haven't been intentional or diligent in, and to immediately assign shame, right? Or to to spiral and to like beat ourselves up, like look at you, like you lazy bum, like you suck at this. But hello, if anything that you're not intentional and disciplined in is pretty crappy, well, that's natural, right? That's totally normal. And so so much of this like parallels marriage in that marriage, how often are you actually intentionally daily practicing diligence and discipline to do marriage in the right order, God's way, right? In the function and capacity of your role and design as wife, and to do it spiritually disciplined on mission together, pulling in the same direction, right? Like, probably not. For most of you, you you you're like, I have no idea what you're talking about. Like, my marriage is crappy, but I don't know how we got here. Well, you got there because you didn't know what to do intentionally each day, right? And so it's just like me running today and knowing that I'm where I am because I haven't been diligent or disciplined or training in this capacity. And so that makes sense. And so um it maybe it reminded me of why when we have a new wife come into high-level wife and a new husband come into high-level husband, we we have uh a marriage assessment quiz. So it actually gives you the insight and the feedback to know where you're starting from. Because how do you know where you're going if you don't know where you're actually starting from? Because, you know, there was a time where Zach and I were doing uh did these re-engage classes at church, and um it was it's a program, like a Bible study small group focused with a curriculum on marriage, marriage God's way, right? Um, and in the beginning, you have to take a quiz about your marriage, and you're like, you rate your marriage um based on certain questions. And I remember I rated ours pretty high, and my husband actually rated it really low. And I was like, why would you rate it so low? And he was like, Because I'm being honest about where we're at in our struggles at that time, and now I know how to build these things and to increase this score and to grow over time, right? And I was like, oh, okay, that makes sense. And so that's why we do that in high-level wife and high-level husband too, is like you have to know accurately where you're starting so that you know how to train and what areas to focus on, what areas need the most help, right? Most people come into uh marriage help because the indicator light of their intimacy is flashing, right? They're having problems in the bedroom. But that's not usually the root cause. I will say it's never the root issue. It's simply an indicator light that we notice first that it is telling us that there are other areas that are out of whack, right? Like we're not actually training for anything, we're not being diligent in these other areas that are actually the root where we need to be focusing our time and attention and efforts and discipline on because we didn't even know, right? But now that we know, we can actually address those. And so it just, so I didn't die when I went out and did this today. I got an accurate reading of where I am. I do feel confident that even though it's a short amount of time, in two weeks, when the race actually is, I will be able to successfully complete this with my daughter. And more so, the just the big vision behind it, which is just like marriage, right? We have this mission that we're on together so that we're pulling in the same direction for the Lord to build his kingdom and expand his territory, right? And or take back his territory. Um, and so thinking about this 5K, it's it's easy to be like, okay, I want to have this pace and yada yada yada, right? Like all the reasons or the things that you show up with in a race. Um, but really, the big picture is I'm doing this to support my daughter as she's doing something for the first time. She's never ran a 5K before. This is gonna be her first time. I'm gonna be there to be her support, to encourage her, to challenge her, to remind her of why she's doing this to keep her eyes focused on the finish line and to be the one in the beginning that says we're gonna we're gonna be the calm one starting this race, right? I know from running numerous races over the years that it's really easy to hot, hop, hot, hop, hot off the gate, right? Off the go, off the gun, and to go too hard too fast and to burn out. And actually, in the beginning, you have to be really intel diligent and intentional about going slower, almost so slow that it feels too easy because you know that you're gonna have negative splits later on, but you're gonna do it in a way that's not gonna burn you out and totally kill you on mile two when you still have a whole other mile left, right? And um, so anyway, so I'm really excited about it, but I wanted to share this with you because the state of your marriage today is where it is because there are many areas that you have not intentionally or diligently trained in because you didn't know. No one ever taught you, no one ever showed you. So this is what we do inside high-level wife is we we have the specific areas that are really important to be training in every single day, right? Not striving or earning, but it's an overflow, it's a heart response, it's a heart posture. So know that you have an accurate reading now of where you're at in your marriage, right? Or at least this is your prompt to take an accurate reading of where you are when you come into high-level wife. If that's the right move for you, you will get an accurate reading through that quiz that is part of our onboarding process. Um, but it's really important to know where you're starting from, like truly, honestly, as vulnerable as possible, so that you know where you're starting, so you know where you're going and how to get there, right? You don't plan a trip and then you don't have a vehicle to take you there, right? The first, the first part of a trip is what's the destination, and then we figure out how we're gonna get there and what the plan is to actually start and take that journey, right? And marriage is no different. Marriage is an intentional, diligent, daily dying to self, taking up our cross and following Jesus so that our marriage becomes a core part of our ministry and how God teaches us, heals us, grows us, blesses us, prunes us at ground zero his way, according to his order and his design. I'll see you in the next episode.