See the Heart of Your Husband!

I was co-leading a mediation session between a hurting Christian couple last week, and the Spirit kept urging me to see this husband's lonely heart, to see this wife's hurting heart, and to help them see each other for the first time as 2 broken, hurting, but redeemed people. 

In in this episode, Chelsey challenges you to put off division and to pray the hard prayer that aligns your heart to the Father's: " God, help me see him like You see him." This is a key to having a heart of flesh and God removing your heart of stone in your marriage.

Transcript

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Welcome back to the High Level Wife Podcast. I am Chelsea Holm, and we do Marriage God's Way here. And today I want to encourage you to see his heart. I was just doing a mediation call with another coach this past week for a couple that we have in both programs, high-level husband and high-level wife. And the Lord was speaking to me through that call of see his heart, see her heart, and then help them to see each other's heart. Because there were points in my own marriage when my husband was so lonely, and I had no idea. He was so lonely that there was a there was a time where he had said he had something going on, but really he revealed to me later that he had just been in his car driving around, just so lonely. And I had no idea because I wasn't seeing his heart because I was so concerned with our children and my own heart and my own loneliness. And so often in marriage, this is what happens that it's two people that are so hurt and so lonely, and yet they're they're back to back. They're not actually understanding, they're not asking the Lord to give them eyes to see our husbands and and and our wives as the Lord sees them. This is something I I always encourage the wives inside high-level wife to do is asking God, give me eyes to see my husband as you do, Lord, as he is yours. And what that does is now you are seeing your husband as the son of the Lord, son of the king, right? Co-heir of heaven, also sealed by the Holy Spirit, also loved, right? Also a sinner set free and redeemed, just like you, also a sinner receiving God's forgiveness, just like you, right? And it begins to shift when you begin this prayer, and it shifts how you see your spouse now, rather than only seeing them as the source of your hurt or disconnect or whatever it is, right? Now you begin actually seeing them as a person, which newsflash, they are. He is, she is, and it can change the way you begin to speak, right? It softens your heart because you know the enemy's biggest tactic is division. Because if you divide people, then what you do is you slowly degrade and chip away at the fact that you see each other as human and valuable, right? Look at all uh throughout time of the injustices of racism and slavery and and all of that, right? Like, no matter where it took place around the world, there was this general sense of your someone else was less than human or didn't have the same humanity that you did. No, we are all created in the image of God, all of us, right? If you can shift your perspective to remind your heart that your husband is made in the image of God, that God knew your husband before time began, before the world was created, and he knit him in his mother's womb, and he also established good works and predestined your husband for him to walk in them. And you are the one here that gets to support him as he walks in them, right? As is Ezra Kinecho. And God also did the same for you, right? It starts to shift your perspective of one another. And so when you start to see his heart, now when your heart is aligned with your father, and you have a heart for your husband as your father does, everything shifts. Now your heart mourns with what mourns him. Now, what your husband gets excited about, you get excited about, right? What your husband is passionate about, you share in that passion. Why? Because your heart is aligned with the father, and his heart is aligned with the father, and this is again the key to oneness. So I am challenging you today to pray this prayer. God, give me eyes to see my husband as you see him. Help me, God, to see his heart just as you do. Because God, I know you care about the heart, not the sacrifices. Because as wives, we can get real deep into that sacrifice mentality, right? If I don't do it, it's not gonna get done. You know, uh, nobody can do it like I can. I'm the one, you know, keeping all the plates in the air here, all the balls in the air. Um I am the primary caretaker, I'm the one who's doing all these things, yada, yada, yada. And then we get exhausted because we're doing it in our own strength and our own understanding, right? And essentially what we do in that is all we see is our heart, right? And we have this false sense of sacrifice that it's through our sacrifices that we are valuable, but it's actually through our heart and our heart posture that we are already valuable in the Lord. We must simply align ourselves with his heart, and the fruit will speak for itself. So I challenge you to see your husband's heart. Ask for eyes to see him. And also think about your husband when he was a little boy. Think about how his father interacted with him. Think of the hurts that he experienced as a little boy. Think about the things that he doesn't even know that he has yet mourned over the loss of the things that he should have had. We all mourn over the loss of the things that should have been, because we are not in the garden. We are out, but we are also not in yet in heaven. We are in this middle ground of this is not the way that God designed things or intended things, right? And so we all have that level of mourning going on. So if you can see your husband as the Lord sees him, your heart is naturally going to soften. God will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh for your husband. But you have to ask. And in order to do that, you have to die to yourself. And you have to crucify your flesh because your flesh is going to demand its own way. Your flesh is going to want to stay focused on your own heart and hurts. Your flesh is going to want to defend yourself or go on the offense, but you have to crucify those passions, those fleshy desires every single day so that you can take up your cross and follow him. That's why this is so hard because it requires dying to yourself and walking in the newness of life that we share with Christ and stand in his righteousness. I'll see you on the next episode.