Naked and Unashamed: God’s Design for Intimacy, Oneness, and Mission

This vulnerability series isn’t ultimately about communication.

It’s about the Gospel applied.

In this episode, Chelsey Holm unpacks God’s design for intimacy through vulnerability—not just so couples can feel closer, but so they can become one, reflect Christ, and live on mission together. From Genesis to John 17 to the fragrance of Christ in everyday life, this conversation will challenge you to see your marriage as more than a relationship to manage.

It’s a place where the Gospel gets worked out in real time.

Because healthy oneness doesn’t stop with you.

It multiplies into your children, your church, your witness, and the greater Body of Christ.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

All right, we have made it to the end of our vulnerability series. This is Chelsea Holmes. This is the High Level Wife podcast, and we do marriage Godsway here. So honestly, if you've been listening to the previous episodes, you might think this series has been about communication or emotional intimacy or even marriage. And you're right, but I want to zoom out because those things are simply the fruit. And the deeper issue has always been oneness. And the deeper purpose has always been God's glory. The last episode I ended with using that framework before the Lord in prayer. And there's a reason for that. It's because God's design for vulnerability was never simply so couples could feel closer. God's design for vulnerability was so two people could become one and reveal Him to the world. I'm going to say that again. God's design for vulnerability, His purpose for your marriage was so two people could become one and reveal Him to the world. So let's go all the way back to Genesis again. The man and his wife were naked and unashamed. So think about that. There was no sin, there was no shame, there was no hiding or blame, there was no self-protection. They were fully known and fully loved, fully seen and fully connected. Again, nothing was hidden, nothing was covered or protected. But notice what happens next. God gives them a mission. Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, subdue it. The mission came after intimacy. The assignment came after oneness because God's order has always been intimacy, oneness, fruitfulness, multiplication. Many of us want fruitfulness without oneness. We want impact without intimacy. We want multiplication without vulnerability. And we want all of this without submission and surrender to the Lord. Right. Right? We want the freedom in Christ without the repentance. We want Jesus as savior without Jesus as Lord. But God's order hasn't changed, and sin enters the picture. Immediately Adam and Eve hide. They cover up, they blame, they protect, and humanity has been doing the same thing ever since. We hide behind our busyness, control, perfectionism, independence, especially here in this country, defensiveness, hello online, achievement, also hello online and everything, right? We introduce ourselves by what we do, as if it's who we are, no. Uh sarcasm, withdrawal, pride. Hide behind all those things. But every layer of self-protection creates another layer of distance. Distance from God, distance from others, and distance from the very intimacy we were created for. Which is why I keep saying throughout this series, self-protection and intimacy cannot coexist. Because self-protection is ultimately an attempt to save ourselves, to protect ourselves, to justify ourselves, secure ourselves. But that's the opposite of the gospel. The gospel says you don't have to save yourself. Jesus already did. You don't have to justify yourself. Christ is your righteousness. You don't have to earn your worth. Your identity is settled. You don't have to protect your value. It was purchased at the cross. So think about this. The gospel itself is the greatest act of vulnerability in human history. Jesus stepped into humanity. He was born. Like he did not count himself as equal with God, but he came to this world and was born in flesh as a baby to be seen. He was seen. He was rejected and misunderstood and betrayed and mocked and beaten and crucified. Why? To restore what sin broke, to restore intimacy with God, to restore relationship, to restore what was lost in the garden. Because of the cross, we no longer have to live hiding. Now we actually get to live. We were dead before, and now we get to live. That's what the cross does. We no longer have to live covering ourselves or live protecting ourselves from every possible wound. Because our security is no longer in the response of people. Our security is in Christ. This is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me in a life which I now live in the flesh.

unknown 4:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:58

So again, our security is in Christ. And this is where vulnerability becomes so much bigger than marriage, because vulnerability is not the goal. Oneness is the goal. And even oneness isn't the ultimate goal. The glory of God is. So think about Jesus' prayer in John 17. He prayed that believers would be one. Like this is his last prayer for believers before he goes to the cross. Why did he pray that? So the world would know. Oneness was connected to witness. Unity was connected to mission. The world is supposed to see something about Christ through the way believers love one another. And marriage becomes one of the clearest pictures of that reality, or the biggest detriment to that reality. But when it's the clearest picture of reality, a husband and a wife. The gospel was never meant to stop with you. The gospel applied to your life becomes the fragrance of Christ to everyone around you. Paul says we are the fragrance of Christ. Think about that. Fragrance fills a room. People notice it. It affects the environment.

unknown 6:21

Right?

SPEAKER_00 6:21

The same is true for a stank smell, right? It people notice it, it fills the room, it affects the environment. Nobody wants to be there. Right? That's the opposite of the gospel applied to your life. But when the gospel is truly transforming us, that fragrance begins showing up everywhere. As we're plugged into the source and we're filled with those living waters and that daily bread, and then we're able to overflow. So it starts showing up in our marriage, in our parenting, in our friendships, in our church, in the body of Christ. So when a wife chooses vulnerability over self-protection, that is the fragrance of Christ. When a husband chooses confession over pride, that is the fragrance of Christ. When two people choose forgiveness over bitterness, that is the fragrance of Christ. When they move toward one another instead of away from each other, because they're both moving towards the Lord. That's the fragrance of Christ. I love the picture of a triangle, an equilateral triangle, which means all the sides are the same and all the sides have to remain the same length. Because the cool thing about this is if you think of God at the top of that triangle and you and your spouse on the bottom two corners, the closer you each draw towards God, if that triangle has to stay equilateral, you also move closer together. Isn't that awesome? God's design is awesome. Okay? So when that happens, people don't just see a healthy marriage, they see the gospel at work. And that's why this matters so much. Because a healthy marriage doesn't terminate on itself, it blesses everyone around it. Children, grandchildren, friends, churches, communities, future generations, the body of Christ.

unknown 8:15

Right?

SPEAKER_00 8:15

It's about unity and it's about oneness. Marriage is that intimacy that the Father desires with us, pouring into the greater body of Christ, which is all of our intimacy with one another and with Him. Because oneness multiplies just like division multiplies. And a divided marriage multiplies pain. A united marriage multiplies life. Not because the couple is extraordinary, because the gospel is. Ladies, the goal of this series was never go have deeper conversations. No. The goal was to stop hiding and covering and protecting and trust God enough to be fully known. It's that trust all because you trust God. Because vulnerability isn't the destination. Oneness is. And the purpose of oneness is that the world would see Christ. So let me leave you with this question: What are you still protecting that Jesus has already paid for? What are you still hiding that He is inviting you to surrender? Because on the other side of vulnerability isn't simply intimacy, it's freedom, it's oneness, it's fruitfulness, it's multiplication. And often it's the very mission God created your marriage to fulfill. Because God's design has always been the same: naked, known, unashamed, one, fruitful, multiplying for his glory. I don't know what the next series is going to be, but I'm going to see you on it. But I want to end with this that the goal isn't vulnerability, the goal is oneness. And the goal of oneness is that the world would catch the fragrance of Christ. I will see you on the next episode.