Abide: You Cannot Medicate Your Way Into the Fruit of the Spirit

Peace isn't something you buy. Joy isn't something you chase. Self-control isn't something you white-knuckle.

They're all fruit.

In this episode, we're diving into John 15 to discover what Jesus actually meant when He said, "Abide in Me." We'll explore why so many wives are trying to produce the fruit of the Spirit while feeding the flesh, how God uses pruning to produce lasting transformation, and why abiding—not striving—is the key to flourishing.

If you've been exhausted trying harder, this episode is an invitation to remain connected to the Vine.

Transcript

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Welcome back to the High Level Wife Podcast. I'm Chelsea Holm, your hostess, and we do Marriage God's Way here. And on this episode, we're going to be talking about the fact that you can't medicate your way into the fruit of the spirit because peace is a fruit, not a product. We've already talked about the modern Martha wife, and we talked about counterfeit peace. In the last episode, we talked about relief versus peace. So the question becomes: if I stop reaching for counterfeits, what do I reach for? And Jesus gives us the answer in John 15, abide in me. And here's what I think many Christian wives have missed is you cannot medicate your way into the fruit of the Spirit because fruit isn't manufactured, it's grown. And that's the key right there. Fruit isn't manufactured. It's not if I just try harder, I can have more peace. Or if I try harder, I can have more joy. It's something that's produced in you when you lay it all down in full surrender to Jesus. In John 15, verse 1 through 11, Jesus says that I am the vine and you are the branches. Apart from me, you can do nothing. But notice what Jesus doesn't say here. He doesn't say try harder, he doesn't say be more disciplined. He says remain, abide, stay connected. I mean, think about think about this practically, right? If you cut a branch off of a tree, does the branch keep growing? No. If you cut a flower off of the stem, off of the rest of the bunch, does it keep growing? No, it immediately starts dying. So you need to understand that fruit is the evidence of us abiding. It's not the goal. We can't have a goal to produce more fruit, right? We often chase the fruit instead of the vine. We often want the peace, the joy, the patience, the gentleness, the self-control, the goodness, the kindness, right? But fruit isn't something that you strive for. Fruit is evidence of staying connected to Jesus. So we need to stop trying to produce fruit. And we need to start protecting our connection to the vine. Pieces of fruit, it's not a product, it's not something you buy or earn or something you create. It definitely isn't found in a gummy or in shopping or in scrolling. And it isn't found in a perfect schedule. Peace is produced by the Holy Spirit. So what happens when we disconnect from that vine? I already asked you. What happens when you cut off a branch or a flower or any of that? Right? What happens when we disconnect from the vine, capital V, Jesus, vine? We will still try to fill that emptiness. So now we're a dead branch, not connected, and we're trying to produce fruit. So this is when we start to run to busyness or productivity, control, food, shopping, entertainment, comfort, right? Buying the next new master digital wall planner, calendar thing that gets your whole life and all the things right in one place, right? Come on, you know what I'm talking about. It was all over social media just at the beginning of this year, right? So what we're trying to do is we're trying to manufacture what only the spirit can produce. Now, again, see, these are cart before the horse issues. Those are not bad things. It's good to have a schedule, right? It's good to have discipline and order and structure and boundaries around our life so that margin is created. But those can't be the start. Those are simply tools that we use on the other side of abiding. So I want to make a connection with you here that you know everybody wants the fruit, but nobody likes the pruning. Right. But um, I remember one time I was listening to a sermon, and I wish I couldn't remember who it was, but we had a guest speaker that year, and he um he and his family had an orchard, and he shared the fact that fruit trees have to be pruned, otherwise they will grow too big too quickly. And the first storm that comes along, because the roots have not been able to take the depth that they need, the first storm that comes along it will fall over. And so pruning is actually what allows the tree to grow deeper roots to withstand all the storms, and then effectually effectively to grow more fruit. And oftentimes you'll see that a branch will be cut off so that resources aren't diverted and energy isn't diverted to that branch, and it can focus on the main core of it. Because Jesus says that the Father prunes branches that are bearing fruit, so they'll bear even more. Pruning is not a punishment, it's preparation. God cuts away what competes with abiding, and sometimes, many times, he removes good things that have become ultimate things. Sometimes, many times, he exposes idols we've trusted more than him. So let's talk about what abiding actually looks like. It's not just reading your Bible to check a box, it's remaining aware of his presence throughout the day, it's bringing your anxiety to him instead of immediately solving it. It's praying before reacting, it's opening the word before opening social media or email or anything on your phone. It's asking, Lord, what are you saying? Lord, what are you revealing? Lord, what needs to die in me today? It's daily surrender, it's not occasional inspiration, it's not some verse to put on your wall in a picture that makes you feel better about yourself. It's literally daily surrender. It's about right order. Abiding isn't another task on your to-do list, it's the foundation every other responsibility flows from. It's God first, it's not just God first in what we think, right? It's God first actually in our day, first and foremost, but before anything else, it's giving him the first fruits, the best of our time, energy, and all of it. Because everything else flows from that. Mary understood that, and Martha had it reversed. So this week, before you reach for relief, reach for the vine. Before the scroll or the snack or the shopping or even the productivity, pause, pray, open the word, sit, even if it's five minutes. Choose the better person portion first. Peace isn't your responsibility to manufacture, it's God's promise to produce as you remain in Him. The fruit you've been chasing grows naturally when your roots are in the right place. Just remember that tree. It may look like there's a lot of fruit growing real fast, but if those roots have not been dug deep, it's gonna fall over in the first storm that comes along. So stop chasing the fruit and instead stay connected to the vine. So in the next episode, we're gonna answer the question of what does this actually look like in everyday life? How do we live in right order when we have husbands and kids and work and laundry and meals and responsibilities and hello, real life? The next episode, we're gonna talk about how right order isn't restricted. It's where freedom, margin, and flourishing are found. And with that, I will see you on the next episode.