Eating Disorder Series: Episode 2- The Culture of Sport and Disordered Eating

Join Malia, Sabrina, and Valentina in the second episode of the Eating Disorder Podcast Series, in partnership with Safe Communities Wellington County. On this episode, Valentina and Sabrina discuss the ways in which sports can lead to disordered eating and the development of eating disorders. 

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Episode 2 of  Eating Disorder Series- The Culture of Sports and Disordered Eating

SPEAKERS

Sabrina, Valentina, Malia

Malia 0:09

Hello everyone. My name is Malia and I'm a youth ambassador based at the grove Youth Wellness hubs in Erin, I will be your host for the second episode of Get With The Grove eating disorder podcast series in collaboration with Safe Communities. This series series aims to spread awareness and break the stigma surrounding eating disorders in the Wellington County community. Just to give you a bit of an introduction Safe Communities, Wellington County promotes safe and healthy behaviours and protects people from hurt and harm. The Safe Communities Wellington County and its members committee works with representatives from local municipal councils, emergency services, public health, school boards and other stakeholders who have made it their goal to maintain Wellington County as a designated safe community. All members strive to make our County the safest and healthiest place in which to live, learn, work and thrive. In working with public health, they provided us with the data of why people land in the emergency room of the local Groves Hospital in Fergus, and one of the areas was intentional self harm. With that safe communities working group is focused on mental wellness, and specifically this year, they are working looking at eating disorders, since there's so much data around the rise in people struggling with eating disorders, not only in our community, but generally speaking. We are not the experts, but we want to provide opportunities for conversations, awareness, raising and bringing resources to our community that otherwise wouldn't be there. It is exciting to team up with Safe Communities for this podcast series and be part of these conversations. Today, I'm joined by two incredible guests, Sabrina and Valentina, who are also youth ambassadors here at The Grove Youth Wellness hubs. Thank you guys so much for coming. Would you guys like to introduce yourselves?

Sabrina Abdul 1:47

Yes. So my name is Sabrina. And I feel like you've definitely heard my voice before on this podcast. And as Malia mentioned, I am a youth ambassador, I'm based out of the University of Guelph site. And today we're on this podcast to kind of talk about a little of our a little bit of our experiences as athletes, and how different sports and sport culture can influence disordered eating and eating disorders. So I guess I'll just start off with a little background of the different sports I played. So growing up, I first started dancing and doing gymnastics. And I did that up until I want to say grade eight. And I stopped because I sustained an injury. And after a few months off, I decided to try a new sport. And so I started playing soccer, which my dad is super happy because he played soccer his whole life. So he's really happy to hear when I said I wanted to try out soccer. And then I continued playing playing soccer throughout my entire high school. And now I play host league with a couple of my friends. But yeah, that's just kind of the sports that I played. Valentina, do you want to introduce yourself?

Valentina 3:05

Yeah, for sure. So my name is Valentina. I hope you remember me from last week. But yeah, I'm a youth ambassador at the Fergus site. And the sport that I enjoyed playing so much throughout my entire life has been soccer.

Sabrina Abdul 3:22

Good choice, good choice.

Valentina 3:24

So I started when I was like, seven. And then I started playing rep soccer when I started grade seven. And then all throughout high school. I was in rep, but also played at my school as well. So yeah, that's me.

Sabrina Abdul 3:38

Very exciting.

Malia 3:40

Awesome. Thank you guys so much. So we're just gonna go ahead and get started. So what did or does being an athlete mean to you? And how did it make you feel?

Sabrina Abdul 3:51

So to me, I think being an athlete, really meant being a team player, like I played individual sports and team sports. And even when I played like an individual sport, like dancing, or gymnastics, there was still a huge team aspect of it, because you want to, you know, like you want to support your team members and stuff like that. And it made me feel really good. Sports continues to be an outlet for me, and it always has and I think I started like playing different sports when I was younger as an outlet for stress, but I don't know what a five year old would be stressed about to be honest. Um, but yeah, that's kind of what it means to me.

Valentina 4:34

Wow, I don't know how to follow up that answer. Um, I guess for me, being an athlete just meant being healthy both physically but mentally as well. I feel like after playing soccer, it was like a huge, like, I was very mentally strong like in all areas of life just from this one sport. You'd think that it wouldn't affect you in those ways, but it definitely did. But I think it also meant for me just being strong. Like I love the way I felt playing soccer. It allowed me to release like my all my emotions, whether good or bad and like really healthy ways. So that was what it meant for me.

Sabrina Abdul 5:10

Yeah, I completely agree. I think like the releasing of emotions is like one of my favourite things about playing soccer.

Malia 5:18

Yeah, that's really good. It's important to kind of give yourself a bit of an outlet. But did you feel like there any ways that the sports environment kind of fostered disordering disordered eating in any type of way?

Sabrina Abdul 5:30

Oh, for sure. 100%. And I saw this in every sport I played, but I feel like it was the most prevalent when I was a gymnast. Especially because the coach that I had was very critical about, you know, the way our bodies looked, because he would always say like, in gymnastics, like everyone is looking at your body, and your body is what gets you to do a lot of the tricks, you know. And so there'd be many times where, like, I would go from school to my gym, and I would stay at the gym from like, three to 10pm, sometimes 11, which means that I had to, like, eat my dinner there. And, you know, it was I felt embarrassed a lot of time eating my dinner in front of like my coach and a lot of my other team members because they could see what I was eating. And a lot of the times like, during our like dinner break, a lot of the gymnasts wouldn't eat, they would just drink some water and maybe have like a light snack. But I couldn't do that. I needed the energy to keep going through like practice and stuff like that. And there were times where I remember I grew up eating a lot of like potatoes and rice, because that's what my mom cooked a lot. And potatoes and rice are definitely you know, I feel like in the gymnastics world and dance world, they're kind of frowned upon because carbs, carbs are scary. But yeah, there'd be times where my coach is like, Are you sure you want to eat that? Like, it's, you're gonna gain weight, and you're gonna, like, you know, and you're not going to be able to do the certain tricks and you're going to fall off the beam. And I was like, it's hard to you know, want to eat when everyone's making those comments around you. But no, there's definitely like so many things that happen that could definitely foster, like an environment that can lead to disordered eating. I don't know if you have

Valentina 7:32

No, yeah, I was gonna say, as you were saying, like, what your coach was saying, My coach comes in mind. And sorry to out him like this. But he definitely like, for me, it was that all the coaches I've ever had always put one player just on the pedestal. So you feel like you need to be that player, you need to be exactly like them, you need to be eating, like playing, exercising exactly like them to get like this validation that you get from your coach. And honestly, that's something that I think not just me, but a lot of people value in their sport, like your coach is someone you look up to. So you seek that validation. So if I wasn't getting that, I looked at the player that he was putting on a pedestal and matched whatever she was doing no matter what if it was unhealthy, exercising unhealthy eating, like any of those things, I wanted to be like her so I could meet the standards for my coach and be what he thought was like the top of the top, which led me into like, maybe not, maybe skipping meals, maybe going with my all to the gym, like an over exercising myself. Like it just wasn't healthy. And it definitely led into that sort of environment for me.

Sabrina Abdul 8:49

And it's funny, you bring up over exercising because for so long, I didn't know that that was like a symptom of eating disorder and disordered eating until I got to university and I learned about it because there'd be times like, especially when I started playing soccer throughout high school, like going from to sports where they want you to be as thin as possible and then go into soccer where they want you to be as bulky as possible to be like a good soccer player. It was definitely hard and I like started going to the gym, I want to say when I was like ni- not nine years old in grade nine, and you know, like lifting heavy and wanting to like squat a plate and bench a plate, which never happened. But yeah, because I wanted to be you know, I wanted to have lots of muscles, so I wouldn't get, you know, hit across the fields as a defender. But yeah,

Malia 9:45

Yeah. I think that for a lot of athletes weight loss and body image can kind of be like a motivator to participate in sports. And do you think that there's any way these intentions can be reframed in order to come from more of a accepting standpoint?

Valentina 10:00

So for me, I think that it's okay for like, for weight loss and like body image, it can be a motivator, I think that it can be a motivator. However, you have to make sure those motivation stems from a place of love and care for your body, not from a place of hate for it, like you don't want to be doing and entering the sports just because you hate it, it you should be doing them because you love your body, you want to take care of yourself while also doing something you just love.

Sabrina Abdul 10:30

I completely agree with that. And I think it's so important to, I guess, reframing it in a way of like saying, like, Oh, I'm doing this because it makes me feel good. You know, like, I'm not doing this because I want to lose all this weight, like, No, I'm going to the gym today, or I'm playing soccer, or I'm going to dance because it makes me feel good after and like, even speaking from personal experience, like the last few months, I've kind of like hit a plateau at the gym. And I haven't been wanting to go like I've been dreading to go every single time and I'm like, oh, like I have to go today. And like it, that's not a good mindset to have. And I kind of like unplugged for a bit and took a break from the gym. Because, you know, it wasn't really helping me and I was going for the wrong reasons like I was going because, you know, I wanted to lose weight, like you go on Tik Tok right now, and everyone's like, it's hot girl summer, like you need to get your summer body ready. And it's definitely like dismotivating when you go to the gym and like you aren't losing weight. And I think that's why it's really important to reframe, like, why you're going to sports or why you're doing this, because when you do reach plateaus like that, if you don't go for the right reasons, it can be really hard to like, stay in that activity.

Malia 11:46

Absolutely. So we kind of already touched on coaches, but I just want to further expand on that. Do you think there's any way that coaches and trainers can help prevent disordered eating within their teams and youth?

Valentina 12:02

For sure, I think that, like, first of all, I think creating a safe space for an athlete to like ask for help or address their concerns to their coach is key. But before you can really even go into that, like the coaches themselves need to educate themselves in prevention and recognition of disordered eating and eating disorders. And also just be aware of their role and that their words carry enormous weight. So for me, for example, like, again, like I said before, coaches were my role models, I seek validation from them. So when I heard like, oh, maybe if you What did you have for breakfast this morning? Why were you Right? Like you were running. So like this, or you were doing this? What did you eat this morning, like, those type of things carry so much weight. So even just also just being aware of where they stand. That's something that's incredibly important.

Sabrina Abdul 12:55

I completely agree with that, especially like the getting educated part. Like, I know, I see a lot more now. But they're incorporating into coaching training now like doing like a module on how to like, find signs of like some someone that someone might be suffering from, like an eating disorder or like that they might be heading in that direction. So I think that's really important. But also like, if a coach does make a hurtful comment, like to you, I think it's really important to stand up and like, maybe talk to them separately and be like, what you said, like really affects me, because sometimes they don't know that it affects you, you know what I mean? Like, they've been coaching for so long. And like, they've been saying these things for so long that they don't think it affects you. But I know that's also hard, because some coaches like I've stood up for myself before and, you know, instead of like, coming from, like a place of like, oh, like, you know, I'm so sorry. Like, I didn't mean for that to happen. Like, it'd be like, Oh, but like I've said it before, for all these years, and like no ones ever come up to me like you're just sensitive.

Valentina 14:03

That's what I was about to say. I was like, it's not only that, but

Sabrina Abdul 14:06

Yeah,

Valentina 14:06

You say that. And it's like oh you're taking me too seriously. Oh, you're too sensitive when No, it's not like that

Valentina14:11

Yeah, exactly. And so I feel like, it's hard too because it really takes time for coaches to recognise like okay, maybe you know, what I'm saying is definitely affecting people. Um, so yeah, I think definitely, like getting educated is a huge thing. And like, if they are like, seeing that you're maybe like showing signs of disordered eating, maybe like, pulling you aside and kind of like addressing that, like seeing if there's like, any way they can support you through that.

Malia14:46

Yeah, for sure. I think that the education piece is super important. And then obviously, once people are kind of learning more about disordered eating and eating disorders as a whole, then when people speak up and use their voices. That's that's super important. So have either of you noticed any type of stigma surrounding eating disorders within the sports world?

Sabrina Abdul15:11

Oh, for sure, for sure, for sure. Especially when I danced. And when I was a gymnast, like, it wasn't until I want to say a few years ago that I realised like the environment I was in was toxic because no one talked about it. No one talked about like, it was almost like a competition like, oh, like, I only drank water today. Like, I didn't eat anything. And another girl would be like, oh, like, I don't even drink water. Like I just like, didn't eat anything today. And like, it wasn't until later on that I realised like, oh, that's like a pretty toxic environment. And it's hard when like, a lot of people aren't speaking up about that.

Valentina 15:51

Yeah, I don't know. I don't think it for me at least. And in soccer. It wasn't. It wasn't exactly like that. For me, it was more so like, no one talked about it. And I don't think even anyone really recognised like, maybe we were kind of like, all experiencing disordered eating. Like it just, it wasn't a conversation that came up. But I knew. And I think we all knew internally that if we were to talk about it, like you're kind of in this fear that you're going to be considered like weak, both mentally and physically. So that's the last thing you kind of want to tell your coach, especially if you want to, if you want to get playing time, like it's going to be impossible when you tell them that so yeah, of course there was there a stigma, but it was just very, I feel like there was it wasn't even talked about at all. And no one addressed it. And I don't again, I don't think anyone even really knew what it what was happening.

Sabrina Abdul 16:44

And I also feel like, like, I'm so happy now. But as the years have gone on, like there's been less stigma surrounding like mental health and eating disorders. And like, I played soccer, like, competitively like five years ago, which makes me sound so old. Like five years ago, this definitely wasn't talked about that much. And now, it's being talked a lot more about which I'm really happy. Like, I'm really happy to see that, you know, coaches are being more educated about this. But yeah,

Malia17:14

yeah. So would you say that eating disorders themselves weren't really talked about. And it was more of a focus on body image and the sport instead of raising awareness and paying attention to actual disordered eating itself.

Sabrina Abdul 17:31

So I definitely think it's the body image piece. Like, again, like when I danced, and when I was a gymnast, like that was a huge thing that was always emphasised, like, especially in dance, like, I did ballet, and acro a lot. And you know, as a ballet dancer, like, I was always told to look a certain way, you know, like, you want your arms to like, Look toned, but you want your legs to like, be thin, and stuff like that. So I definitely do think that it was focused more on the body image piece. And I think that's why like, I didn't really know that I kind of like suffered from disordered eating because I was more focused on my body image. And I was like, Okay, well, how do I like make myself look skinnier. And it was like, Oh, just don't eat this or like, eat like vegetables instead of this. And I think a huge thing was like, there wasn't a lot of balance. Like, I literally did not eat, like anything that contains sugar, I think throughout my childhood until I got to university. And because it was my first time finally having like, freedom with like, eating things that had sugar. I went crazy. Like, it was just a lot. So I think it's really important to like, instil a balance as you go through that.

Valentina18:51

Yeah, I completely agree. I, again, I think that for me, it was just it was discussed but with never with that intention of like saying specifically saying, Oh, this is disordered eating, or this is problematic or or anything like that. We it was all very low key. And again, I don't think any of us realised what it actually was that we were doing. But we would sit around and talk about the ideal body and like the fitness routines and the eating routines, but excessively and like we're just thinking, like, that's all we're thinking about off, like when we're on the bench and we're just sitting there, which is so problematic. That's not what we're here for. We're here to play.

Sabrina Abdul 19:30

Yeah. And it's hard too because I find like, with being a gymnast, I think the ideal body type that society painted was different than like the gymnast body type. Like, I was very muscular for my age. And like at that time, like society kind of painted an image that like women should not be muscular. Like they should have toned arms and like they shouldn't have muscle on their legs and stuff like that. And I feel like that was really hard too because you're like, oh, I want to you know I want to be strong for my sport. But then there's also like this pressure from society. And I was like 12. So it's hard to go through that when you're 12. Like, that's such a pivotal like point in your life.

Malia 20:12

Yeah. And while you guys were playing sports, and there was these discussions and talks about body image and such a focus on on the eating and whatnot, Were there ever access, to support and resources to help you cope with that disordered eating?

Valentina 20:30

Absolutely not.

Sabrina Abdul 20:31

Yeah, no, not at all.

Valentina 20:34

Especially like, for soccer that it really, it just was never nothing was ever mentioned. And again, we didn't know. Like what it even was. So especially coaches aren't going to if we aren't even discussing it ourselves. The coaches are the last people to be like, okay, yeah, this we need to talk about that.

Sabrina Abdul 20:53

Exactly. And it's like, again, like, I feel like we didn't even know what was going on at that point. Because it wasn't until I got to university that I realised like, one like that was a toxic environment. And two like that it was actually disordered eating, you know, like, and that Oh, like the things my coaches were saying were contributing to that. So, ya no, there were definitely like, no resources at the time. But I feel like now, there are a lot more, because I mentioned like, a lot of coaches are being educated on stuff like that now. But yeah.

Malia 21:32

Yeah that's awesome that now there's kind of more resources and support that are out there. But how were you able to navigate and handle the intense intense attention that was on body image and strength while you were playing sports?

Valentina 21:44

If I'm being honest, like pretty unhealthy ways, the way that I was navigating and handling that attention. So for me, one of the things I would do was like wear bigger jerseys, like I would wear bigger jerseys. My uniform was like a slightly bigger so that you don't really see anything, like move like anything like jiggle. Like that was always like a very something I was always super insecure about and I was so hyper aware of while I was playing, which is so bad, because that's not what my focus should be while I'm playing.

Sabrina Abdul 22:13

Yeah

Valentina 22:14

But yeah, that was for that was just one of the many ways that I kind of coped with it.

Sabrina Abdul 22:19

Yeah. No, I definitely agree. Like I did that a lot. Like when I played soccer, too, but I feel like one thing that I was doing too like, was body checking, which is really bad. And it was so hard not to body check, when my entire change room had like so many mirrors and like you're getting ready to go into the gym. And then on top of that, you walk into the gym, and there's like, mirrors everywhere. And as you're like, you know, warming up, you're staring at yourself in the mirror, and critically like examining yourself and be like, oh, like no, I'm too fat today. Or like, I'm too skinny today or like, I need to do this I need to go like extra hard at the gym today because I need to compensate for the fact that I had like a burger or because I need to like gain more muscle. And I feel like that's why I know even now like gyms are kind of starting to take away mirrors. I'm sorry. When I say gyms I mean like gymnastic gyms, not commercial gyms. But I know that they're starting to take a lot of the mirrors away from the change rooms to kind of like help with that. But yeah,

Malia 23:26

Yeah. So is there any advice that you would give to young athletes or even yourself when you were a young athlete regarding disordered eating,

Valentina 23:38

I would say to keep being in love with your sport, but also be in control of yourself and your sport, and not letting this sounds really confusing, but not letting the sport be in control of you. So that's, that's what I have to say.

Sabrina Abdul 23:54

I completely agree with that. And I think also just, if you are struggling with disordered eating, I would say seek support. I know it's, it's really, really hard to take that first step. But I definitely think like, because I know for a lot of people and a lot of my friends disordered eating, when it came to sports is what ultimately caused them to stop playing their sport. Like there's so many people that you even see like in the Olympics, like a lot of the figure skaters and gymnast. Especially like I feel like this year, there was a lot more emphasis on the Russian team. Like I forgot her name. But there was that young figure skater. A lot of the figure skaters from the Russian team, like only come from one, one Olympics, and after that they quit like figure skating altogether because a lot of them like suffered disordered eating through it. And they don't love their sport anymore because they see it as like, this is what caused like all of this to happen. And I think it's really important to seek like support the second you see that happening just because you know, like, you don't want to stop playing the sport like this is something that you're in love with and like you want to continue playing. And there's so many different resources nowadays like that. You can reach out to like nedic, which I know you're gonna talk about, in a bit. But yeah, that would be my biggest advice.

Valentina 25:19

Just to add on to what you just said. We got to remember why we started the sport we like for me, I went in it because of the passion, the love and the excitement I had for it. If you feel like those things are out of the equation, use your voice and start those conversations with it being your teammates, your coaches, yourself and external resources.

Sabrina Abdul 25:42

Yeah, and I love the fact that you brought up like talking about it with teammates, because I think that is so important too. Because if you're feeling this way, there's a 10% chance that like someone else is feeling like this on your team. And you know, I feel like being able to openly talk about it can definitely help one like break the stigma, and foster a sense of connection between you and your teammates, just knowing that you're not the only one that's feeling this way. And leaning on each other for support

Valentina 26:12

and also just taking away like the competitiveness aspect of it with your own team. Yeah, it was like you said it was like, Oh, you drink water today. I didn't drink water today. Like taking that away. So for sure. I

Malia26:27

Yeah, definitely. It's important to know that there is people that are there for you, and nobody's ever alone in their in their experiences. So that's all that we have for today. Thank you so much Valentina and Sabrina for coming on. And being part of this discussion, it's super important that we have talks like this and raise awareness to disordered eating. And thank you very much.

Valentina 26:52

Thank you so much for having us

Valentina 26:54

for sure. Thank you so much for having us. I really enjoyed this podcast.

Malia 26:58

Okay, so today we discussed some heavy topics in this podcast episode. This is just a reminder that if you or someone you know are struggling with an eating disorder or disordered eating, you can seek support and resources from the National Eating Disorders Information Centre Hotline at 1-866-633-4220. This is a toll free number. Additionally, you can seek support and resources at one of the grove Youth Wellness hubs in either Guelph, Erin, Fergus or Palmerston, Ontario. For hours and more information visit www.thegrovehubs.ca