Join Maddie and Gabby as they answer questions about relationships, sexuality and gender summited by youth.
Have a question of your own?
The Get With the Grove podcast is launching a new Interactive Question Box. Summit a question to hear our new hosts, Maddie and Gabby answer or discuss your question. Summit questions at https://forms.gle/DRwnDPD3MMhS7X47A
Join Maddie and Gabby as they answer questions about relationships, sexuality and gender summited by youth.
Have a question of your own?
The Get With the Grove podcast is launching a new Interactive Question Box. Summit a question to hear our new hosts, Maddie and Gabby answer or discuss your question. Summit questions at https://forms.gle/DRwnDPD3MMhS7X47A
And my name is Gabby and welcome back to the Get with the Grove podcast. This week, we're gonna be chatting about relationships, sexuality and gender. Maddie and I are youth ambassadors at the University of Guelph Grove site this semester. And we're going to be running the podcast until the end of the semester.
Maddie:
And last week, we sent out a form for youth in our community to ask questions about relationships, sexuality, and gender. So for this podcast, Gabby and I are going to be answering those questions.
Gabby:
Let's get into it. So our first question is, how can you tell if a relationship is healthy versus unhealthy.
Maddie:
So characteristics of a healthy relationship really depend on each relationship. I mean, every relationship is different. But the common denominator for all relationships are that there should be a strong sense of trust, there should be respect between all parties involved. And there should be boundaries between partners.
Gabby:
I think how you feel in the relationship is often a pretty good indicator of what type of relationship that you have. So if you find yourself feeling safe and comfortable around your partner, they make you happy, that could be a good indicator that it's a healthy relationship. And then oppositely
Maddie:
Yeah, I mean, in the contrary, an unhealthy relationship, if you're just not feeling happy, and you're not feeling like yourself, you're feeling stressed. These are all in the indicators of unhealthy relationships.
Gabby:
Yeah, so our next question is, is there a certain age I need to figure out my sexuality by and can I change it?
Maddie:
So absolutely not, there is no certain age that anybody is required to discover their sexuality. Sexuality is can be fluid, and they change over time, there is no, like set time when anyone needs to have their sexuality figured out by and it's, it's not always going to be one thing. You know, sexuality can change over time. And it can, you can be, like straight for most of your life. And then when you're an old person, you can think you know what, maybe maybe this isn't for me.
Gabby:
Yeah, I know, for me, when I was figuring out my sexuality, I first came out as bisexual. When I was a teenager, and a little bit later on in my life, that felt a little bit too limiting. So now I just like to say that I'm queer, it feels more fluid. It just, it feels more comfortable to me. So yeah, your sexuality can change over time, and you don't have to put a label on it. Love is always going to be love.
Maddie:
Yeah, and I mean, I feel like with that being said, what your sexuality is, is none of anybody else's business. So if you're feeling like you need to have your sexuality figured out by a certain time, what, for what reason? Like you don't have to give an explanation or tell anybody about your sexuality, if you don't feel comfortable with that.
Gabby:
Yeah, very true. So our next question is, how do you make a long distance relationship last. So I think with a long distance, relationship, communication is key, and making time for each other, since you're not going to be in the same place physically. And with that comes respecting each other's boundaries and personal space, even though you aren't going to be together, just realizing that you have your own lives separate from one another, and respecting that space and those boundaries.
Maddie:
Yeah, I agree. I feel like that's really important. And even just setting up time for one another like If you're not with each other in person, that doesn't mean that you can't still have dates. One of my favorite activities to do with even my friends who are long distance is to set up like a movie night where we both go on our Netflix and press play at the same time and we can watch a movie together and it gives that sense of togetherness even when you're not physically with that person.
Gabby:
Yeah, I think with that as well just like checking in with one another, like maintaining that communication, asking each other how you're feeling, ways that you can improve the relationship even though that you're not together. And maybe scheduling some time to see each other depending on what that looks like for you. You might be in different countries have different provinces or maybe you're just like a couple hours away, but regardless, just still setting aside that time to spend some time together in person.
Maddie:
Yeah. So on the topic of relationships, our next question is, I realized that I do not really like my boyfriend I thought I did when we first got together, and now I don't know how to break up with him.
Gabby:
So I think in a situation like this, it's important to remind yourself that you are never tied to anything, we don't ever have to do anything that you don't want to do. And if we were in the situation, we would lean into these emotions and do what's best for you. So even though that might be a pretty difficult conversation to initiate with your partner, I think it would be good to be honest, both with yourself and with your partner in this sort of situation.
Maddie:
Yeah, I mean, with with that being said, at the end of the day, you have to be there for yourself, and you're not here to please your partner, you're never going to be happy if you're only in a relationship to, for the benefit of the other person. A quote that I like to think of is, if my fire is dying, how am I supposed to keep you warm? So with that being said, don't ever feel obligated to stay in a relationship. Or even if you're just confused, like, tie into those feelings and see, like, why am I feeling this way? Is this something that I want out of immediately? Is this more of a friendship? So definitely just tie into those feelings more?
Gabby:
Yeah, for sure. Moving on to our next question, are you a bad person if you don't support the LGBTQ community?
Maddie:
So this is kind of a tough question. The first thing that we would suggest is to check what is the reasoning behind these feelings? So how, like, where are these feelings of like not wanting to support people who just want to be happy? Like, Where's that coming from? Is it like a stereotype that occurred when you were younger? That or like an environment that you were raised in, to kind of influence your opinions? I mean, at the end of the day, people just want to be happy members of this community are doing this for themselves. And if you're not supporting them, I don't see how that's like how their lives are harming you in any way.
Gabby:
So yeah, and I really don't think there's ever an excuse to be homophobic if you don't support what other people are doing, like Maddy said, may be looking inwards and asking yourself, well, why am I having these feelings? I always preach that love is love people can and will love whoever they choose. And if that doesn't concern you, or if that doesn't affect you, I would just be supportive of the people around you because it means a lot to people in this community to have your support. So it is never okay to be homophobic
Maddie:
or transphobic
Gabby:
period.
Maddie:
Yeah.
Gabby:
Next question. Do you think it is okay for a person to identify as an animal such as a cat and or dog? So, similar to our the last question, I think that you may or may not agree with how people identify, but again, kind of looking inward and asking yourself, Is it harming you in any way, the way that somebody else is expressing themselves? If it makes them happy? I think you should be happy for them because people can express themselves in any way that they may choose.
Maddie:
Yeah, so I guess this question isn't really like, is it okay, like for us to answer if it's okay or not? If you want to do it, you do you? And everyone else should just mind their business? And just, I don't know, just do you do you.
Gabby:
Next question. If the person I like is non binary, does that make my sexuality pansexual? So for those who are unsure of what pansexual pen
Maddie:
pants
Gabby:
Caden, we're going to edit this part out as well.
Caden:
Um, no, I'm not doing that. That That was funny. I will not edit that out.
Gabby:
So for those of you who are unsure of what pansexuality is, the definition of being pansexual is just loving anybody regardless of what or how a person identifies pansexual is sexual romantic or emotional attraction towards people regardless of their sex or gender identity.
Caden:
Hello, I'm Caden. I'm the editor of our podcast for the next little while, so I some of our audio got corrupted. So I'm just gonna give you my answer for this question. And that's just because you date someone non binary, that doesn't mean you're pansexual. Pansexual is a label you give yourself and like you can choose if it's not something you vibe with, and you're not pansexual if you're dating someone non binary, and you still consider yourself straight, that's completely okay. Or still consider yourself gay or still consider yourself bi like, that's 100% allowed. It's a label, like, at the end of the day, it's just the label, and you cannot be defined by one label. So like, if you want to consider yourself straight, if you want to consider yourself gay, if you want to consider yourself pansexual you can do that. And it doesn't matter who you're dating, it doesn't matter what gender your partner is, it matters how you feel, and how what you're sexually attracted to. And like, gender is fluid, Sexuality is fluid. So like, at the end of the day, none of it matters. So like, if you like the idea of being pansexual. And you like to identify with that, then absolutely, you can be pansexual if you consider yourself basically straight, like you're still straight. You can date someone non binary and be straight, like, it's 100% up to you. So just you know, whatever you feel. that's what you're gonna do. And it's no one else's business, what your sexuality is, it's not your partners, it's not your friends. It's not your parents. It's 100% Your choice, and if that's something you'd want to share, you don't have to but if it is something you want to share, absolutely. Go ahead. So yeah, that was my answer. So I'm gonna hand this back to our friends Gabby, Maddy.
Gabby:
Okay, so our next question is what's the difference between sex and gender?
Maddie:
So sex is assigned at birth. Sex is what you are born with. And gender is fluid and gender is a social construct
Gabby:
period. Thank you, everyone for tuning into this week's episode.
Maddie:
Be kind to your mind, and we'll see you next time.