Out and About!

Join YA Belle-Ange and wellness coordinator Nic in this episode as they talk about the 2SLGBTQIA+ program Out and About! 

Transcript

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Hi, everyone, welcome back, or welcome if you're new to another episode of Get With The Grove podcast, I'm your host. Daronch, a fellow ya at the Grove bullwitch site, and joining with me today, is a special guest at the grove whose initiative and desire for inclusion and diversity has sprouted opportunities for growth from the Fergus site. Let me introduce you all to the Grove's very own. Nick. Hi, Nick, thanks for being here. Thanks for having me So Nick, tell us a bit about yourself. For those who may not know what you do or who you are, well, my name's Nick. My pronouns are he, him. And I'm actually a wellness coordinator at our Fergus site, our Fergus grove. I also do volunteer coordination for the Grove, and I facilitate out and about our 2s LGBTQIA plus working group. I have a lot of experience actually working with queer youth. I used to facilitate a queer youth theater program, so I would teach Queer Theater to queer youth. It was really fun. I currently help run a peer support group for queer youth, actually, in kW my education is really centered around like, relationality, sexuality, gender, that sort of stuff, so I'm very much passionate and interested in this type of thing. That's great. Well, let's start from the beginning. We know about the grove and its mission to create a safe environment for youth, ages 12 to 26 to meet their needs, varying from mental and emotional to physical well being. But let's get more specific about its committees and initiatives, more specifically about out and about so can you tell us what that is? Yeah, absolutely. So I've spent a lot of time working, like I said, in the 2s LGBTQIA plus community in support capacity, and also through my lived experiences, I realized that there is this big need for a space where queer youth could truly be themselves, especially in smaller communities like ours. In places like Wellington County, youth often don't have access to safe, affirming spaces where they don't have to feel like they need to constantly explain who they are, or worry about whether or not they'll be accepted. So I really wanted to create something where they could come together, be supported, and just be without any of those concerns weighing on them. I love that. It's such a powerful idea, like creating a space where you don't feel like they're constantly educating others or fighting for acceptance or just having to explain themselves, and you're doing this at all the grove sites, right? How has that been, coordinating and navigating all of that? It's been really interesting. I actually took this up, kind of took up the mantle in about April, and at the time of recording this, it's November, so it's been quite a few months. Oh, wow. We started at a bit of a hybrid capacity. So I would run the group in Fergus, in person, and all of our other hub sites would join virtually, but I think that there's a lot of zoom fatigue and stuff like that. So the youth weren't super interested in joining meetings virtually, because it's also kind of hard when half of them are in person. Half of them are hybrid. It can be difficult. So we've actually started to run them in person at every single hub. So whether you go to Woolwich, u of G, palmerson, Aaron or Fergus at our meeting times our and about is going to be running at all five we have designated staff members who help facilitate, I make all the agendas and the plans and the creative things that we're going to do, or maybe we're helping with a community event planning stuff like that. And it's across the board, the same at every single site, which is super exciting. Out and About. Meets bi weekly. We celebrate and gather with those who identify as part of the queer umbrella community and also its allies. Out and about, like I said, helps with events in the community, participates in fun, queer centered programming, and we really put the youth's voice first and how the grove can be a safe, supportive and inclusive space. As a member of this group, our youth provide feedback, they advise and they help plan various programming and pride events within the grove and our larger communities. That's so cool. I think in the beginning of the school year, I participated at one of the events. It was like the little trivia one. Yeah, that was really fun. A few of the youth at our site, at the Woolwich site, they had lots of fun doing it, and they were actually learning a lot. Some of them were asking questions. They were saying, Oh, I didn't know this flag existed. I didn't know there was a label for this. So it really sparked conversation, which I think is also a great part of it. What has been your favorite event to plan so far? So far, I probably have to. Say, Guelph pride, we did the grove had its own event, or, sorry, out and about, really kind of had its own event during Guelph pride that we collaborated with, we did. It was really like a drop in makers circle kind of event, so people could drop by they were making a big crafts. And then we kind of put all the different sort of crafts and things that everyone made onto a big collective banner, and it just became this big collective art piece. And it was really cute. We had lots of different youth who came, like older youth, younger youth, some families, and we ended up taking that banner back to Fergus and still hanging up on our walls. So when people visit the Grove, they can see what was made at Wolf pride. That's so sweet. Do you think you think you might try to make it an annual thing? I would love to make it an annual thing. Yeah, shout out golf pride, because trying to keep that partnership open, definitely. Yeah. I feel like that's such a great thing because it just, it moves it out of just the sights. It like, really invites the rest of the community to participate. And that's kind of what we're seeing. Like, I said, like, this has only been really running since April, kind of full force, and we're already seeing in other ways, the community step up to wrap around and support these youth. There's been some other community events, and I can't necessarily spoil all of them, but a couple of the schools have really stepped up to wrap around and provide opportunities for queer youth in the county and in Guelph. So it's really cool to see, honestly, I really love that. What have you found to be the response from the youth with all of these initiatives that have been going around and stuff like, have you seen a shift amongst the youth? Or is there something you're hoping to see with this? Yeah, I think it's hard because, like I said, we changed the format halfway through, so what we were seeing from the youth over the summer is different from what we've seen in the fall. And I think in the fall, the response has just been so great. I've been myself moving between our Palmerston and Fergus hub, so I've gotten to run out and about at each location. And even just the difference in the response from youth at one location versus the other and Fergus, they're a lot younger. They're kind of that grade seven, grade eight age range, and they just really want a space to be themselves and do fun things in a way that they can express themselves so freely. So we're doing things like watching glee. We're doing things like making crafts. Sometimes we just play chess, but it's a space where they can just be and they feel safe, and they're connecting with other people in their community. And then in Palmerston, we have our high school youth, so they're a bit older. They want to do things. They want to see things happen. They want to make change. Right now we're talking and looking at anything that they really want to make in terms of what they want that group to be for them. So there's a couple ideas floating around, but that's kind of their story to share. So I'll let them keep it to themselves for now, but they're more more active in that sense. So the response has been really great, but really interesting as well. Yeah, um, I think what I like most about it is that it varies from side to side. It really did a little bit of everything. Do you think you'd be able to like, bring like out and about as like, like into the schools, like little committees and clubs? Yeah, because the schools I'm more familiar with WR, DSB, but I think the copper grant District School Board has prism and then maybe they also have GSAs in the school, and then we have GSAs in Waterloo Region. Yeah, it's the Gender Sexuality Alliance, but there's prisms in the school, at least around Fergus. And I, like I said, we already might be collaborating with a couple prison groups in the school, but I think it would be absolutely amazing to continue that partnership, to go into the schools, because you can really bring out and about anywhere. And yeah, you know, if you show up for the queer youth, they're going to show up for you. So that's so great. Can I just say it's honestly so refreshing to see an organization that prides itself on embedding equity, diversity, inclusion and indigenous reconciliation from the start. Yeah, that's one of the things that really drew me to the grove originally, and something that I actually pull up in not only our volunteer coordination in our trainings, but also in the work that I'm doing without and about, because the Grove has its EDI our framework, and it really is about actionable steps. It's not just slapping a little ally badge on or saying this is an inclusive space and moving along, there are actionable items outlined in this framework that we work towards actively that are working to make these spaces actually inclusive, actually diverse, actually focusing on equity and indigenous reconciliation. You need those actionable steps, because when we talk about queer youth, we have to recognize that just labeling a space as inclusive or accepting doesn't ought. Automatically make it a safe or welcoming space for them. We all know that queer youth exists in every community, right, but they don't always feel seen or truly accepted in the spaces around them. Simply saying we're inclusive doesn't actively show that they belong. We need to do more than just use a sign or put up some buzz words. It takes that active inclusion. It means really building spaces where queer youth can participate in ways that feel natural and safe in themselves, and where they can see that they're not just tolerated, but truly welcomed and truly celebrated. Honestly, I completely agree, especially because it becomes performative if you're just doing something, just for the sake of checking a box, because they're gonna feel it. They will feel it. They will pick up on it right away, exactly. And so that's honestly what I love so much about out and about it's like from the beginning, it was one of the first things I learned about the grove during the open house during the summer. I love the fact that they were so outwardly open about it as well. You know, just being able to have these difficult conversations, having that space for them to ask questions when they're unsure themselves, because for lots of them, they may not have anywhere to ask those questions. And I think that's why it's so important to have a passion for it too, like wanting to learn, wanting to take the time to understand the youth that we see, so that they themselves feel seen. And this goes a little hand in hand with what we previously mentioned. But what does representation really mean? What does representation look like at the grove or for you and your daily life, yeah, I find that representation really is all about being seen, feeling seen. And in the context of representation for our youth, it's like, yeah, it really does just hearken back to what we've been talking about. It's it's making those active spaces for them to see themselves represented, and also have a space where they can represent themselves. Yeah, I know that's just a flippy floppy of the language, but it means so much. There's a huge importance for lived experience, especially in this sort of community engagement. When I was growing up, I was like one of two trans students at my high school, and there was no trans adults in my life, not a singer. I never knew any elders. I never knew even many other queer people in my life. And just seeing the impact that it can have on our youth, especially our youth coming throughout and about to have one person, one person older than them, who got out of where they are, who went through the questioning phases, who went through coming out, who went through, you know, maybe there's some tensions with family, maybe there's some tensions with friends. Maybe they lost friends to go through high school as a queer youth and make it out the other side and be a adult still functioning in the world. Yeah, job like, Do you know what I mean? Yeah, just having that representation of you're here, you're queer, it's okay, and you're gonna make it is huge. So I definitely bring that lived experience when I facilitate and support both out and about, and the other 2s LGBTQIA plus youth that I support kind of professionally. Yeah, I just find lived experience and representation so, so important, because it's not something you can quantify. How do you quantify the impact that, and I'm not trying to gas myself up here, like, how do you quantify the impact that I have walking into that space as a trans adult and saying, It's okay, right? You're going to make it like, you're going to be gonna be fine. To another trans youth, it just that sense of community and connection is so important, like the youth that we see here, even I was talking to a youth one on one, even just asking them what their pronouns are, asking them what like, what their name is, because they were like, legal name, or my preferred name, my chosen name, and I was like, whatever you feel comfortable sharing and seeing them, their eyes well up just from asking that simple question. Was so insane, because they pulled me aside and they said, No one's ever asked me before. And I almost cried, yeah, because it's like, What do you mean? No one's taking the time to want to know to you know, it's just you're telling me like, in all your years, it took a random youth ambassador, a stranger from the Grove, to ask you this question, for you to finally feel seen like, I feel like that's one why our jobs are so important to why representation is so important. And three, it shows that we are making a difference, even if it's as small as just asking someone what their what their pronouns are, yeah, and so much of representation can go unspoken. It's just seeing a person who looks like you or who identifies like you and. Another space. But then some of it also is those ways that we're normalizing things here, asking for youths pronouns, not just assuming people's genders, normalizing that, making sure that everyone's using people's true names, and we're not dead naming people in the space. Yeah, there's just so many little things, and they feel so little, but they are a huge part of feeling seen, a huge part of identity, and the emotional impact that that has on a youth's mental health, on a youth's well being, is huge. It's all part of trying to make the safe the space feel safer for them absolutely because they feel so much more comfortable coming to the space knowing they don't have to explain themselves, knowing that that we're calling them by their names, knowing that we know them, we want to take the time to get to know them as well. It just makes them feel like that space is their own. And these spaces and like that active work is in jeopardy, even in Canada, even in Ontario right now, there are lots of ways that the protections and those normalizations to make spaces safer for queer youth are being fought against and are being taken away. So it's even more important to stand up for our queer youth, for our trans youth, to be doing these things, to be actively implementing these pieces and making sure that they do have spaces to feel seen. Because when you go out into the world and you're you're leaving the Grove, yeah, you don't know what it's going to be like out there for any given youth. You don't know where they're getting support. You don't know if they're feeling seen anywhere else. And if we can just be one space where they come and they don't have that pressure, that weight on them, then I'm happy to, happy to have it here for them. Yeah, how do you feel like people could implement that even in their daily lives? Well, because you already expressed how we implemented at the grove. How else do you think people can implement it just on the like their day to day? I think in much the same ways. I mean, I feel like socially, people are trying to normalize the use of pronouns. I know there's lots of people who don't do that, but people are trying their best. I think that's amazing. And just remembering, I think the biggest thing for me when I am out in public and I'm out in communities is out in the world? Is that you don't have to get it, you really don't have to get it. You don't have to understand, you don't have to know firsthand what it's like to be queer, to be trans. You can just respect it. You can just respect that the person in front of you is who they are. Nobody's gonna know them better than they do, and just respect it. So if they tell you their name, you respect it, they tell you their pronouns, you respect it, they're going to respect her as back. If you don't assume that they have a girlfriend, boyfriend, they just maybe have a partner. Maybe they don't have any partner, just respect it. Right? There's, there's so many little ways that our language can be used that has such a big impact, and it takes nothing out of your day. It does not impact you to just not refer to someone with pronouns until you know them, to not call someone by a name that you know, that they don't identify with, to not guess that they have any specific gendered partner, it takes nothing. It is like very little energy out of your day, and it ultimately has such an impact on them, will barely affect you. Honestly, I feel like it takes less energy to assume, you know, you would think, yeah, it can, it can be. It can just be so much more relaxed, not chill. Oh, hey, I didn't catch it. What were your pronouns? Rather than making a big fuss about someone wearing a pronoun badge or something like that, like it, really can't just have so much less of an impact on your life to just be respectful, yeah, and take that pressure off yourself. Of you don't need to be perfect. You don't need to get it. You don't need to understand you can just be respectful. Honestly, that was really insightful. Thank you so much, Nick. I feel like I've learned a lot, but I do have one final question, Where can our fellow listeners turn to if they are in search of LGBTQIA, plus resources and support beyond the resources found here at all the grove sites in the Guelph Wellington region. Youth have access to out on the shelf. That's Guelph queer library and Resource Center. They offer a really wide range of programming and resources for the 2s LGBTQIA plus community. It's a welcoming space for learning, connecting and accessing support materials. It's really cool. I've actually been Oh, there's outline for all the U of G students. This is a confidential, anonymous service. Individuals can get answers and guidance about sexual orientation and gender identity. It's a safe place for students to go and explore their questions and concerns and just be and. There's also the hive clinic through the Guelph Community Health Center. So this is a clinic for accessing gender affirming care and other supports always good to get questions answered if that's something that someone's considering. So I love to plug those as well. Guelph pride, of course, hosts annual events that provide education, visibility and community programming for the community in Guelph and Wellington County. It's a really key organization fostering pride, awareness and inclusivity. And there's also a Guelph Wellington LGBTQ plus support line. This is a confidential, free, emotional support line where trained volunteers and staff offer active listening referrals and a safe space for those in the queer community or those questioning their identity, this line is available every day from 8am to 10pm and it's 226-669-3760, and there's also the LGBT Youth Line available as well. If you just Google LGBT Youth Line, I know it's in Ontario. I think it might be in more of Canada as well. But this is peer support based, so you actually get connected to trained volunteer peer supporters, which are other queer youth that you can talk through your experiences with. So it's a really cool support as well. And they have a huge resources page for things in other areas as well. Honestly, I love that, yeah, knowing that there are resources out there, and that one's very like youth led too, which is something that the grove is super into. So I always love plugging that one. That one's good. I like that one a lot, actually. Wow. It was great having you. Do you have any final thoughts you'd like to add or share? I could probably talk about this for 10 hours. I think we should just leave it with what we got that's so fair. Okay, well, Nick, thank you so much for your time. It's been a pleasure having you. It's been a pleasure being here. Yay. And thank you everyone for tuning into another episode of Get With The Grove. Stay positive, stay connected, and we'll see you next time you