When You Order Salvation You Must Receive The Goods

If you ask for salvation you must be ready to do the work that results in salvation. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

It's time again for Doc Shock, your addiction lifeguard podcast. I am Dr. Jacques DeBruker, a psychologist, licensed professional counselor, and addiction specialist. If you are suffering from addiction, misery, trauma, whatever it is, I'm here to help. If you're in search of help to try to get your life back together, join me here at Doc Shock, your addiction lifeguard, the addiction recovery podcast. Today, I thought I would talk to you about salvation. And for anybody who has a problem with addiction, salvation is a tough one because when you think about salvation, you think about saving, saving yourself, saving your soul, saving yourself from destruction. And as addicts think... They perhaps, in their arrogance or their foolishness, they think that they're kind of above that or they're not capable of doing anything that would lead ultimately to their own destruction, which in fact they actually are. And they're probably actively engaging in it. Or their arrogance has gotten in the way and they think that they're invincible, that it doesn't matter. Now, some of you have gone through things that were life-threatening. And you came through and that was kind of like, well, I survived that so I can survive anything. So nothing can really touch me. But then the other part of it is, however you grew up, and did you grow up in such a way that when you were experiencing life, it was traumatic? There were a lot of traumatic things that happened. And so the salvation then would be, I want to be saved from the things that have been problems for me. So I'm going to ask for salvation. Now, if you walk in faith and you're asking for salvation... and it comes to you and you weren't expecting it to come, or perhaps you didn't think that there was gonna be no intervention. Well, now we get to that point where salvation comes, it's offered, right? And you can use your free will and you could walk away from it. And some people do that. So the concept of asking for salvation means that you're asking to receive something, you need something to come to you. And so when it comes to you, there is the issue of it came to me, but I rejected it. And now you're stuck, right? So here's something I want you to use. We're going to use this as an overarching theme for this podcast. When you ask for salvation, you have to receive the goods, right? And I've said that to people in the past. I said that to one of my clients one time, and he said it really stuck with him. He remembered it from months ago. And it's like if you ask for salvation, you have to receive the goods. And if you ask for salvation and it comes and you reject it, are you going to get it again? Or are you just going to be hardheaded and not do it? So in the terms of like from a Christian perspective, are you a lost sheep or are you a prodigal son? And if you're either one of them, they are away from the herd, right? So, hey, you got out of the herd. And if you're a prodigal son, you got out because you left. And if you're a lost sheep, it's because you got lost. It wasn't purposeful. It wasn't something you determined that this is what you want. You just got lost. And you have no way to know how to get back. And so you're looking for the return, the return of the shepherd who will come and get you. And so the distinction between the two is if somebody is asking for salvation and they are the lost sheep, and I'm assuming that you know the story of the lost sheep. It was in the herd and it ended up in a ravine and got lost and didn't know how to get back. And then when the shepherd called his flock back, all of them showed up except for one. So the 90, he had a hundred sheep and 99 showed up, but one was missing. And the shepherd was looking around and saw that there was one that was missing. And, you know, knowing his flock, he thought, well, this isn't right. There should be one. So I'm going to go find it and I will leave the flock to go find the one. Now the leaving doesn't mean that the shepherd is leaving the flock alone because he doesn't care about the flock and he's preferring the one over the 99, it's that all of the sheep have the same importance to him. So he will try to go find it. So he goes and finds the sheep and he brings it back to the other 99 and now they are together again. Now the lost sheep in that story is not resisting The return, right? So the shepherd shows up and lifts the sheep up and takes the sheep with him and brings him back and delivers him. Now, in the story of the prodigal son, now that was a conscientious decision. And I've told this story in past podcasts. I'm not sure how far back, probably a year ago. I really went into the story of the prodigal son and what it means. And you can reference that in the previous podcast. I'm not going to go through the whole thing again. But the idea is that the prodigal son wanted to go and drink wine and sleep with prostitutes. And so he willingly left. He's not lost. He wandered away purposely. He left. And again, the idea of the shepherd and looking after his flock, tending to his flock. Well, in that instance, the prodigal father did not go looking for the prodigal son because he had faith that he had sown the seeds of what that prodigal son would need to come to his senses. And he waited. He waited. And the prodigal son did return, right? But only to just say, hey, I've learned. I get it now. Not to ask for more money or anything else, right? Just I've learned. And so the salvation that is given is in the returning of that prodigal son and the celebration. I knew that you would come back. I knew that you would figure this out. The belief that even though you've done something very destructive and on top of that, the acceptance of the return of the prodigal son. irrespective of what that prodigal son has done, unconditional love. And that is extended out in both of those stories to the lost sheep and the prodigal son. Now, the prodigal son and the sheep both were perhaps asking for salvation. Please save me. Save me from danger. Save me from what has befallen me, either willfully, as I've engaged in in the prodigal son story, or... Unbeknownst to the lost sheep, they are lost, right? But when that salvation comes, you have to receive it. When it comes, it comes at a time that may not be convenient for you in a way that is not what you expected or something, right? But it comes, so you have to receive the goods. And so there are conditions when we have addiction and we have trauma, we have things in our lives that have caused severe problems and we are going to ask for salvation. Then there is a process where you have to turn over the things that you're feeling because of that situation. And those feelings that you may have may be centered on resentment, anger, contempt, disgust, rage. towards perhaps your abuser. And that may be the case. And the abuser really struggles with perhaps their own things going on in their lives. But as the abused gets abused, that creates those feelings of resentment, anger, and contempt towards the abuser. And so we carry that into our adult life. And That's what comes into my office many times is people who are filled with those things and they do not know what to do with them other than to try to get rid of them. And so that's why they engage in their addictive behaviors. I can drink it away. I can drug it away. I can eat it away. I can gamble it away. Whatever form of activity or chemical or whatever that activates that reward center. It makes you feel temporarily better, but ultimately long term destroys you. So the process of asking for salvation really requires you to be willing to put down those things that you are carrying. Anger, rage, contempt, the negative emotions that you have towards the person that did something to you. I have many conversations where at those times with people who are upset about the idea of, but if I do that, they get away with it. No, they don't. They do not get away with it. You've already been subjected to their abuse the first time. And when you continue to carry it, that anger and that contempt and that rage or whatever it is you're feeling, it stays with you. That is the continuation of the abuse. And it can seem like it's empowering. It can seem like it's a strengthening of something. It makes you stronger to be angry, to be able to say those things that are upsetting. It seems like that's a source of strength, but actually it's ultimately going to lead to your demise. So it's not strength, that's weakness. And that's part of what the enemy does, is it tricks you into thinking that you're doing something that is powerful and strong. And you know what? Guess what? You are not the judge, jury, and executioner. So you can't ultimately make the person who did something to you pay the price. That's judgment, right? You're not to stand in judgment of other people. Yes, they're a bad person, and yes, they did something despicable or horrible or disgusting to you. However, like I said, if you are angry, you are continuing that same abuse cycle But it's you doing it to you because they did it to you. And perhaps that person is gone. They're not in your life anymore. You've cut them off. They've died. They've moved away. You don't know where they are. It was a one-time event, whatever it is. So when you ask for salvation, you have to be willing to put down whatever it is that you're carrying. It can be lifted up. But it can't be lifted if you're hanging on to it and you're saying, well, take it from me. Because you're going to hang on to it. Because it's not right that they get away with this. That's kind of the thinking that I run into all the time. Wait a minute. I thought you wanted this to be lifted from you. You wanted it to be taken. But you're not willing to let go. So I'm going to offer it up and I'm going to hang on to it for dear life. So I think of it in terms of More like you have to put it down first for it to be lifted from you. And it's that putting it down can feel like you've now just put yourself in a position of powerlessness, of being vulnerable, weakness, especially for men. Weakness is a real problem. We don't like to feel weak. We want to be strong, right? So when you put it down, it can make you feel like you've just now done something to make you weaker than you were before. Again, that is the enemy masking the truth because the truth is a man who is able to put down his anger because it's inappropriate for him to carry it, it's destructive, it's killing you, that is the ultimate in strength. And it's not you becoming less than, it's you becoming more than. Now, it seems strange to say that if I put something down, it makes me stronger because carrying the load will put the strain on you and build muscle and strength. And no, that's not correct. It's the opposite of that. And so when you're putting down your anger towards the other person, then you can move forward. And in recovery, listen, man, it's all about the forgiveness part. If somebody is abusive to you and they continue that abuse and then they disconnect from you for whatever reason and now you are angry, what you've done is you've changed the abuse from something that came from them to something you're doing to yourself. That doesn't make you stronger. Putting the anger down puts you in a position of strength because now it takes away the continuation of that abuse. If I'm carrying around a 60 or 70 pound vest that I've got strapped to my chest all the time, I perhaps will get strong enough to carry it, but I'm going to feel that load every single day, every single step, every single thing I do if I never take it off. When I take that 60 pounds off my chest, suddenly I feel it. much lighter. I feel much stronger, you know, my strength. And that's kind of what it is for addiction, right? We go through this process of abuse and then we become all entangled in this horrible cycle of addiction, of that addictive behavior. And the enemy's got his clutches on us and hanging on. And we just can't, you know, we can't do anything with it except just struggle. So we struggle and struggle and struggle. Then you put it down and it's lifted from you. And you stop with the abuse. You stop with the addiction. You stop with the chemicals. You stop doing everything that you were doing. And suddenly, like I'm going to use my finger quotes, like magically, you feel better. And it's not magic. It's not. It may be sudden, but it's not magic, but it's really probably not sudden either. It takes a long time, but you suddenly feel better. The world looks different. You're happier. You have relationships whereas before you had none. You have the ability to interact with people where before you were trying to hide. You don't feel physically sick. You don't feel mentally drained and exhausted. The descriptions I have from people who have chemical abuse is that their brain is being altered. And so when they stop, it's not being altered anymore. They eat better. They sleep better. They interact with people. They have conversations. Suddenly the world is much better around them. And I'm not exaggerating. It's 100% of the time that's what gets reported when you get to that place where you can... be in a better place to receive those things and to exist in that world where you are free from that strain and that weight that you carry. So if I am praying for salvation, please save me. And that's kind of what happens. I heard it. I was at a place this last weekend where They were performing baptisms, and the gentleman, Stephen Snook, is the man who was performing the baptisms. And he said in his own story, I'd heard this before I met him, that he got in prison. He got to the point where he just fell to his knees and said, I can't do this anymore. Please just take all of this pain away from me. He didn't say this, but I heard it from the story. He put it down. Like he literally, he was broken at the point where he put it down. He put down all those things and then asked for salvation to have it lifted from him. To me, that is the ultimate in strength. And if you are a female and you're experiencing this and vulnerability and, you know, if you have that position, if you're in that position where you're feeling this, you know, always having pressure or, you threat of violence or whatever upon you, that you're in a vulnerable state to begin with, right? So maybe it's, and I'm not a female, so I don't know, but probably very different for you to be in a vulnerable position. And you probably don't feel it the same way that the brothers do. The sisters feel differently about it. But as a man, to put it down is putting down the weight. It's a decision you make. It's a decision you make to change your life. It's not a decision that's made for you. You make the decision. You use your free will to make that decision. So being in a place where you can be vulnerable by putting it down is the ultimate in a showing of strength. So the idea of putting something down and picking it up, it's the question of what are you putting down? You know... The putting down is the putting down of your feelings attached to that memory, that thought. So you're putting down the memory, no, because you're always going to remember. You're putting down the anger, the anger, the resentment, the contempt. That's what you're putting down. So you have a thought and you have a feeling attached to it. So it's the thought slash feeling you're putting down. Can you bring it back up? Can you bring it up to recall it? Oh, you absolutely will be able to. You're a human being. Of course you can do that. But if you put down that feeling thought rather than just a memory as a goal, what you're doing is you're allowing yourself the opportunity. You're freeing up your hands, so to speak, to take on something new, right? So I'm going to put it down. And when I put it down, it's not being... taken from me, I'm offering it up. And by doing that, I end up becoming free. I'm free from the emotional part. At that point, now if you use like the cup analogy, I've poured, you know, half my cup out or all of my cup out of what was in that cup. Now I can refill it. So the forgiveness part can happen you'll be more successful with forgiveness. Forgiveness requires you to take on something that's different. You can't take it on if you haven't taken something off your hands. So what I'm suggesting is you put it down, anger, the feeling thought, you put that down so that you can offer to the person or to yourself or both the forgiveness part. And that then begins to fill your life with something completely new, which perhaps you didn't have before. So offering up something by letting it go so that you can then begin that process of forgiveness. And it's a real challenge. If you've ever been really betrayed or wronged in your life and you have that resentment that you feel, it is hard to put down the feeling that you have attached to that thought. But I really truly believe that forgiveness can't happen until you do that. Because there's always a remnant of that feeling. There's a piece of that feeling that you've hung on to that you won't put down. And there's where the return of that feeling can happen, even after you've forgiven the person. Now, I'm not suggesting that once you forgive somebody that it can't come back. Of course, it can always come back. But it will for sure come back if you have not let it go, the anger. the resentment, the contempt, the things that you've attached to that memory. So practice it. Practice it in your life. Be free so that you can live and walk in the path of forgiveness. Well, there it is. It's another episode of Doc Jock, Your Addiction Lifeguard. I hope you've enjoyed this episode. If you have a problem, if you're an addict, you've been traumatized, go get help. Don't continue supporting your addiction by ignoring your problems. Take care of them. Go to a counselor. Reach out to me. Go to rehab, but do something. There's no point in ending your life because you're protecting your addiction. That's ridiculous. So if you have enjoyed this episode, please tune back in. And if you liked it, please subscribe. And if you are so inclined, you can donate to the cause. And I look forward to hearing from you or seeing you or reading about you in the next episode of Doc Shock, Your Addiction Lifeguard. Thanks for listening. See ya.