It's Pure Love with Thayne Martin

Your brain can understand your trauma and still keep repeating it, because the real switchboard is your nervous system. Natasha Joy Price sits down with transformational coach and It’s Pure Love founder Thayne Martin to unpack “experiential neuroscience” and why lasting emotional regulation comes from training the body through real experiences, not just insight. We get into triggers, anger, anxiety, and the moment your body decides “threat” before your mind can catch up.

Thayne shares his personal story with disarming honesty, from childhood abuse and decades of depression, addiction, and rage, to the turning point that forced him to stop running. From there, we explore the idea that healing is a learned skill: breathing through a surge, choosing a better response, and building a new pattern your body can trust. He also describes a near-death experience after drowning, and the spiritual clarity he believes it brought about purpose, ego, intuition, and what it really means to live with love and light.

We walk through Thayne’s “equation of life and abundant happiness”, using simple maths as an emotional operating system: add what brings joy, subtract what does not serve, multiply intention through action, divide through reflection, and return to gratitude as the equal sign. You will also hear practical, sometimes brave exercises that create change fast, from using strangers’ names to dancing out loud in public, plus how these tools translate into healthier workplace culture, psychological safety, and lower burnout.

If you find this helpful, subscribe, share the episode with someone who needs a reset, and leave us a review. What is one trigger you would like to respond to differently this week?

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My new novel The Red Magus has recently been published in conjunction with the Unbound Press.  An entralling mystical adventure set across time and space, where past and current lives converge.  Find it on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

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Transcript

Welcome And Guest Introduction

SPEAKER_03 0:02

So, welcome everybody to another edition of Balm to the Soul. I'm your host, Natasha Joy Price, and I'm an energy healer, author, and podcaster. And today I have a lovely new guest with me, and his name is Thane Martin. So, welcome, Thane. Thank you so much for supporting the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

Absolutely. Thanks for having me on and allowing me an opportunity to meet your audience and share a little nuggets from my crazy life.

SPEAKER_03 0:31

Well, we've got a lot to discuss. So Zane is a transformational coach, business consultant, and speaker, but he's also a founder and CEO of it'spureove.com, which I love the name and the message because we need more of that, don't we?

SPEAKER_00 0:49

Yeah, I I never thought that I would reach, you know, close to retirement age and then decide that I didn't want to retire and started my own company, nor did I ever think that I would be in the business of perpetuating love into uh people and into business. Like I never thought I never saw myself being a purveyor of goodness, but that's that's what my focus is today is on bringing love and and light and happiness to people because the world needs it. You know, we're all connection and we're all star for love right now. So the timing is perfect, and that's one of the reasons why I started my company was bringing light back to the world.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

Yeah, so let's talk about your company because you talk about experiential neuroscience. So just explain what what's that all about.

SPEAKER_00 1:44

Yeah. So what neuroscience is neuroscience is the study of our nervous system. And when we say nervous system, we we most people think neurobrain. And your brain is definitely part of neuroscience, but it's also an understanding of the entire nervous system, right? The various components of our nervous system and how our nervous system is actually, it's it's like an octopus, really, when you think about how our nervous system runs, because we have to keep track of taste, sight, sound, touch, hearing, like all of the senses have to be integrated into one central nervous system that then feeds its information to the brain, of which the brain then does something. So I realized in my life that I was severely traumatized as a boy. Uh, I sadly got tangled up with a pedophile ring that operated inside of the church I went to. So instead of going to church and praising God, I went to church, got peeled off from the group, and then got abused by men. And it was ugly. And it was something that caused me most of my life to hide. Um, and it developed some very, very severe mental health, um, massive challenges with depression, suicidal ideation. I was diagnosed with the worst mental health conditions you could throw at them at a boy and a man. And I made the mistake of trying to outrun it. I did. I tried to outrun it. That's what most men do because we're embarrassed. And so I never got help. And then late in life, I started having nightmares, and it was from my childhood that had somehow miraculously been deleted from my brain. So I basically had a meltdown in my 40s that made me realize that I couldn't run anymore. And I had to address these demons that had been following me my whole life. Tom constantly tugging me, constantly breaking me down, constantly making me feel that I wasn't enough. So I had a um, I had like

What Experiential Neuroscience Means

SPEAKER_00 3:55

so getting back to what neuroscience is. Neuroscience is the study of the nervous system and the brain. Because I had spent most of my life trying to fix my brain. And my brain was really good at understanding what I needed to do. But what would happen was when my body would get into a situation where I identified something that was negative or a little bit scary, my body would always respond in a certain way. So, no matter all the brain work I did on trauma, when the rubber hits the road, when I would hit a trigger, when my body would go, wait a minute, it would trigger me. And then I would go right down that rabbit hole of depression, of I'm not good enough, I'm too fat, nobody's gonna like me. All those self-doubt, self-limiting beliefs that were very, very common that looped often in my brain. It was because I was stuck by my body. And what I mean by that is my nervous system had never been updated to have a different response. My nervous system, when you would stimulate my nervous system, my nervous system turned to anger and rage most of the time. So whenever

Trauma Memory And Late Meltdown

SPEAKER_00 5:10

I got stimulated with a trigger, you instantly got rage and anger from me instead of calm, cool, and collected and going, wait a minute, I know the body's serving up anger and rage, but right now that's not gonna help me. If I get angry right here, I'm gonna decimate this room. And these five little boys that I love dearly are gonna have a really ugly memory of their grandfather. So I'm not gonna lose my crap right now. I'm gonna stay calm, cool, and collected. I'm gonna breathe my way through this trigger, through this ugly situation, and I'm gonna come out the other side with a better emotional choice, and I'm gonna play kindness and love. So thank you, body, for serving up fear. But where you were wrong in this instance, because I'm choosing love and kindness. That's literally how you retrain the body. So experiential neuroscience is using experiences where I train your body to a new emotional response. Okay, and it's because our bodies is what keeps us trapped, and our bodies are like trained monkeys. So if we don't train the monkey to behave differently, it will do it every single time. So part of the problem with most mental health programs and trying to change humans is because they're they're working on the brain, but they forgot the body. And what people don't realize is that the body comes first. So the stimulus in the body always predicates the thought. So when I feel a threat, I feel it in the body before my mind even sees the threat. You feel it. So if I want to change how I show up, I gotta teach this body that not every time I see that trigger do I need to throw up that threat. Because it might have been important when I was six years old being abused by adults. But as an adult, I don't need to push adults away. They're not all trying to take advantage of me. They're not all trying to hurt me. Because you see, that's how I showed up from my conditioning of what happened to me as a child. So I poured myself into experiential neuroscience because nothing worked. And at one point, Natasha, I had seven pillboxes. That's what the medical establishment had decided was the right way to heal me. And so I was strung out on SSRIs and powerful psychotics, you know, things like Xanax, drop of Xanax, disappear because I can't handle the trigger. So I had a life of ups and downs, a life of depression, a life of madness, uh, a life of addiction. Um, not only was I addicted to the prescription pain meds, but then I also became a sex addict, um, which is common for people that are abused as children. We have a warped sense of what intimacy should look like. So I struggled with that, right? But through all of that was a beautiful love story of a man and a woman that never gave up on each other. And probably one of the, you know, not probably the best decision I ever made was marrying my wife, who stayed with me through ugliness and who stood with me when I wasn't always doing good things, making good choices. You know, I can I can thankfully say that I never physically or verbally yelled or harmed my children or my family, but I was definitely full of anger and definitely full of rage. And they saw more anger and rage than they should have because I I had an anger management problem.

SPEAKER_01 8:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:46

Today I have all of that under control, and I got there with experiential neuroscience where the body learns by doing, not by reading. That's the difference.

SPEAKER_03 8:57

Okay. Fascinating. So so when you look at the work that you do, you've got these operating systems, uh, haven't you? The equation of life and abundant happiness.

SPEAKER_02 9:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 9:10

So just talk us through that if someone wants to come and and you know.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

So so um, what the equation life and abundant happiness is, it's a philosophy. And the philosophy was developed after I drowned in the pool. I was in a freak accident, uh, September, I'm sorry, August 13th, 2023. And uh I gave up my ghost. I literally died, I lost my life, and uh, I went to the other side. My consciousness continued on the other side, and I went on a magical journey uh after I died, and I have a very, very vivid memory of everything that exists on the other side. I understand much of why we're here, why we're here to learn. Uh, people often ask, Did you meet God? And the answer is yes. Uh, but I will tell you that my answer of God is different from what I was

Retraining Triggers Through The Body

SPEAKER_00 10:05

raised in. Uh wasn't exactly uh the old man in the sky that I was led to believe. Um, but that one experience right there meeting my maker, understanding how life works, how this is just a temporary situation, and I'll be returning uh soon. Like I like it happens so fast here, and then we go back home, right? This is not home. This is just a temporary place for my soul to learn and grow. And uh, I've got to learn some things. Like that's the purpose of life is to grow and ultimately learn the most powerful thing in existence, which is love, right? Yeah, is learning how to adopt love as the operating system in all things. And when you learn to let go of the ego, which is ultimately what is what keeps you separate from being with divinity, it's ego, okay. Eventually you learn that the ego goes away because the ego is what separates you from walking with divinity, always so you learn to let that go. And when you learn to let the ego go, you walk in love and you walk in goodness and you walk in light, and then you find, like I did, abundant happiness. I never have a bad day, ever. Ever. Not possible.

SPEAKER_03 11:29

So now now that you have connected with that energy, you've gone to the other side, you doesn't

Drowning Experience And The Other Side

SPEAKER_03 11:35

that make you homesick? Uh for that, it does.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

It does. Well, it what it does do is is it it makes me incredibly peaceful and confident. Like today, I live my life knowing that all the things that I thought were important are not important. No, no, okay. The size of your bank account means nothing. The the cars you drive, the vacations you take, nothing, nothing, nothing. What matters really, I share this with every audience, so I'll share this with your audience. Okay, there are three things that must be mastered by the human soul. Okay, three things. And the first one is unconditional love. Can you demonstrate unconditional love in all things and understand that unconditional love also includes making good choices and not good choices? Because when we choose something that we know is not healthy for us, we're walking away from love. So good choices, right and wrong, is actually an extension of love. And you have to understand that. So when when we go through life review, when your life plays back for you, when you're sitting there with your creator looking at your turn here on earth, that's what you're gonna be looking at. You're gonna see everything you ever did, and you will hear it, you will see it, and most importantly, you will feel it, right? So when you go through life review, what you do is you take on the feelings of everybody else in that moment. So I could literally go to any moment in my life, grab it, touch it, it would become real. Now I'm in the moment, but the difference is my sense of self isn't from my perspective, it's from the perspective of everybody else in the room. So then I would see myself say, if I did something positive, let's say I did something kind for somebody, well, then I would feel the kindness that I created in their heart through me. So I felt their the love that I created. Conversely, when I was hateful or said mean things or did ugly things to people, I could feel their pain and and how my actions hurt them. So my early part of my life had a lot of that, and I had a lot of explaining to do, as Ricky Ricardo would say, right? You have a lot of explaining to do, Lucy, right? There's my there's my age showing up. Okay. So yeah, um, you learn that unconditional love is the most important thing, and choosing right from wrong. That's that's question one that you must demonstrate. Number two is uh the principle that I teach in my course called subtraction. And subtraction is just that, it's the mathematical operator.

The Three Soul Lessons

SPEAKER_00 14:40

And subtraction is about letting go of those things in life that don't serve you and not carrying them with you. So a lot of people leave this earth with hatred and negativity and ugly feelings towards people in their life, and they carry those ugly feelings. I'm telling you right now, those ugly feelings that you carry ultimately cause disease in your body. They do because they cause, they cause an energy misalignment. And when energy is misdirected into where it's supposed to be, ultimately it's gonna turn into cortisol. You're gonna get stressed. That cortisol then floods the body. Excess cortisol leads to mutation in the genes and in the cells. Next thing you know, you got a beautiful case of cancer.

SPEAKER_02 15:28

Why?

SPEAKER_00 15:28

Because you didn't let go of the emotional energy that you held up in your body, and that tension turned it into a disease. So that's why it's really important that you learn to let things go. So in Christianity, Christ taught that. That was called repentance, and he taught you to let those things go, to not only forgive them, but it's really more about releasing the negative energy that you're carrying in your heart. So forgiveness, subtraction is about letting it go for you. Okay. Yeah. So what you don't want to do is leave this dispensation, go into heaven, and have a bunch of people that you've never forgiven. That's not gonna end well for you. Okay. No. You're gonna go through life review and you're gonna learn some difficult lessons because you didn't let that go, right? I'll tell you that I saw more souls caught up with question number two than question number one, right? Most people are pretty good with love, most people are pretty good with right and wrong. But where most people, humans in particular, struggle, it's letting go when people have hurt us. And for me, I was abused by over 50 people, okay, for six years. So I had to learn to let go of those 50 people and my pedicile, pedophile that hurt me. That was one of my life experiences that I had to learn to let that go because it consumed me and it made me angry, right? I showed up in life as a Karen, I was very privileged, I had a great job, I did very well, successful um uh in careers, but I was I was angry and bitter from what had happened to me and never being able to tell anybody. So I took it out, not on family and friends. Like if people knew me, they're like Thane, he's great. But if you met Thane while traveling and you didn't do your job with perfection, Thane would rip you a new one and smile while doing it. And I didn't like that person, and that's not who I am today. But I was, and I know there's people out there right now listening and they're identifying with that, right? And I want you to know because I know you're listening to me right now, I want you to know that you can change and you don't have to stay this angry and you don't have to stay this toxic, and you can learn to process the ugliness that you have in your heart and in your mind, and you can heal it. And it's done through experiential neuroscience, and the most powerful tool to heal your heart and your mind is unconditional love and gratitude. Those are the tools of the preeminent neuroscientists, that is what we use to heal the hearts, right? So I learned to let that go. Question number two, right? So, first question in heaven can you can you demonstrate unconditional love and right from wrong and all things? Show me right. Number two, can you let go of people that hurt you unconditionally? Right? And then question number three is the most difficult, in my opinion. Okay, and here's why. Question number three is deeply ingrained in your ability to return. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 18:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

What I mean by that is we all know when we come here to earth that our brains get wiped of our memories, right? We leave heaven, we come here to earth to get a body to learn and to grow and to expand our souls. That's why we're here, all right? So when we get that body, we got to understand that it's just a temporary situation. I'm just borrowing this meat suit for a period of time, and eventually it's gonna go back and I'm gonna return where I came from as energy. I'm coming back in the form of light because that's what our souls are. We are literally cut from the same light as the one that powers everything. We're all part of it, and we're also all connected, okay? So the thing, the thing that you have to be able to find is is you have to be able to find God on your own from within. Okay. And what I mean by that is everybody thinks that you find God by going to church and by letting somebody else show you and teach you what God is and how to find God. And and what I would tell you is that there are many, many religions in the world that have some amazing teachings in them. And when they are teaching in love, then they're of God and they're of the maker that I met when I died. But when they operate outside of love, when they practice hate, when they say that you are not welcome because you look this way, or you love that way, or your skin is that way, that's not of God. In any way, shape, or form. It's blasphemy, is what it is. So when I looked at all the religions in the world and everything that had been perpetuated, I realized that I didn't need them to know God. So today I am deeply spiritual. I have the deepest relationship I've ever had with God. I walk with God daily. I carry that light in my heart. Um, I didn't used to. I navigated my life before through my brain. But today, my brain, I have full heart brain coherence, which is what I had when I was a little boy. And when you have heart-brain coherence when your brain and your heart work together like they originally do, eventually you realize that the ultimate guide is in your heart. And then you let go of the brain and you let this lead you. And that's how I live my life today. I'm so connected to the light that exists, and I make my choices based upon the light that I feel in my heart. So if I'm looking at something and I've got a decision to make, what is my what does my lantern say? My lantern says, this looks good, this makes sense, do it, make move forward. Or I have a decision to make, what does my light say? My light says, don't go. That's called intuition. And intuition is incredibly accurate, but we're taught not to believe it. Okay. Our education system teaches us to use our cognizant. Cognitive brain when really what we need to be led through your entire life sits right here in your heart. It's right there. Okay. So when we connect back to heart-safe living and heart-centered living, this becomes that lantern that directs you throughout the rest of your life. So that's ultimately, you know, I my company is called It's Pure Love. And ITS is an acronym and it means anything, okay? Because my the framework itself, the philosophy of It's Pure Love is using mathematical expression as applied to human emotion because we already know it. Okay. So it's a way of understanding I can manage my emotional energy, and I've already learned it in grade school, but I've never applied it to my life. So it goes like this. This is literally the equation of life and abundant happiness.

Addition Subtraction And Emotional Balance

SPEAKER_00 22:55

Addition comes first. We add those things in life that brings goodness and joy. That's addition. Subtraction is letting go of those things that don't serve us, that don't help us, that don't bring us joy, and letting them go because it doesn't serve us to carry them. What did I need to learn from this negativity? Because that's all negativity is. It is a course correction. It is I can do better. It is I can learn something. What it doesn't mean is stop. It doesn't end. Okay. So what does the thing upstairs expect of every human being? We have to balance, right? We have to balance in the moment. So what do I add right now and what do I subtract right now in this moment to make myself feel safe and whole? Okay. So in this moment, I need you to quit yelling at me. Okay. So if you could please lower your volume down, that will help me. And then I also need to center my energy right now because you just you just alerted my amygdala and my defensive posture and mechanism is on high alert. So I'm going to take a breath right now before I reach back and yell and rip your throat apart. I'm going to take a breath and I'm going to be can't I'm going to be calm here. And then I'm going to reply back. So had I let my amygdala run that action right there, I would have exploded, I would have yelled at that person. But an emotionally intelligent person knows that the amygdala is actually running the show. And I train you how to take that thought from the amygdala and then use it in our prefrontal cortex where I can't let that thing hurt me. All right. So we add and we subtract in the moment to reach what we call neutral balance. All right. So now I'm feeling pretty stable. I added that thing and I let that go. What do you want me to do next, God? Okay. That's called multiplication. And multiplication is where we take action and intention and we align it with our family, with our friends, with our coworkers, with the public, and with that higher power. And then we put it into the world. We grow it and it expands. So multiplication as applied to human emotion and life is about growth. It's about making goodness bigger, right? Because we were neutral. So now we're growing neutral, bigger. We're making it abundant, right? So add and subtract, multiply. What's the next thing you learned in grade school? Division. You learn division. Now, what's division as applied to human emotion in life? Well, when you apply division to human emotion, the first thing it needs the first thing it represents is what did I just learn from this? Okay. So I had something bad come up me. I let that go. I realized I needed to add this to bring balance. I got that. I felt good. I then grew my intention and my action, and I get and it got bigger. Okay, so two things happened. One, I just learned a lot. So part of division is self-reflection. Learning what I just did, what I created, and then making the right decision around division regarding what I actually need. Okay. So this is an important principle I teach. It's called the principle of heartfelt abundance. Okay. Heartfelt abundance is a cost that comes from your heart. So let's say, in an example, I had $100, I balanced myself to neutral, I put action and intention, I engaged my family and friends, and now I've taken this hundred bucks and I have a thousand. It's gotten bigger. That's multiplication. All right. So now, how much of that thousand dollars do I need to set aside for rent and groceries? I need probably about 600 of that thousand. Okay, because I'll get a thousand next week. So I only need about 600 of that. And then I need another 200 because we as humans like to feel safe. And God understands that. Spirit understands that we need safety. So in my mind, my heartfelt abundance is the 600 plus another 200 for me to feel safe. All right. So 800 of that thousand is my heartfelt abundance. Well, when you walk in abundance and you walk with faith, you know that the thing upstairs will provide everything that you need exactly when you need it. And when you know that and you live that way, you let go of the excess. Okay. So that $200 of excess abundance came from the system of which you created it with your fellow man. You see, we're supposed to put it back into the system. So that week I had an extra 200 bucks that I didn't need. But you know what? My sister was struggling that week, and she needed that money to pay for uh some school clothes that started school. She didn't have the money to buy school supplies. But I was abundant and I didn't need the money, so I gave it to my sister. That is how we're supposed to operate as humans. That is the equation life and abundant happiness because you'll learn that the most important operator is actually the equal sign. The equal sign is gratitude in the equation of life and abundant happiness. Gratitude is the spark and fuel for love. And gratitude is neuroscience, baby. And when I learned that, it completely changed my life. Right. I did not know gratitude. Gratitude was something that my grandmother used to chastise me when I asked for that third scoop of ice cream. So I didn't like the word. When you said gratitude, I'd roll my eyes. And especially when I was a total carrot. You said gratitude to me, you're gonna get beat. Right. So today, no, completely different human. How I show up because I walk with light in my heart, I walk with goodness in my heart, and I literally completely healed my brain by rewiring the response in the body. And I did that through neuroscience because neuroscience is the way to heal. And that's why. So my company, it's pure love, we're studying this phenomenon that we've created uh clinically, because the results that we're getting from people that are learning by doing is phenomenal and it's fun. Every exercise ends in love, kindness, connection, gratitude. So you're never gonna do an exercise and be like, oh crap. What you're gonna do is you're gonna have an exercise and you're gonna go, oh, you want me to do what? Oh, well, I can't do that. No, no, no, no. I would feel embarrassed if you asked me to do that. Oh, okay. So you you're feeling embarrassment right now. So you realize right now, all I'm asking you to do is something fairly simple. Okay. I'm asking you to put on some music at the place. Let's find a place that's public. So this is actually an exercise from my deck, okay? So I asked a woman, she was struggling um to be seen in the world. She struggled to interact with people, she had a fear of approaching people. So the first exercise I gave her was uh it was called name them to know them.

Division Gratitude And Heartfelt Abundance

SPEAKER_00 30:25

So she went out into the world and she had one task. So in the next two hours, when you go out into the world, you are to find and have three conversations with three strangers and use their name multiple times in the sentence. That's the first exercise. Go. You want me to what? Just that. Go out into the world, live your life, and I want you to interact with three strangers, get their name, and use their name in a sentence. That's the only thing I want you to do. So for her, that was hard. That was hard, yeah. It was hard because she's afraid of people, and she was afraid that anybody would hear her voice. So when she went out into the world and she asked the first person for some advice because she went shopping and she needed some advice. So she asked a fellow shopper who was also standing there looking at pesticides. I'm not sure what to buy for my garden. I I don't want to kill uh this and I don't want to kill that, but I do want to kill this. What do you recommend? What's your name, by the way? Thomas. Thomas, thank you so much for helping me. Uh, I don't know anything about insecticides, but hopefully maybe you do. Okay. So I just had an interaction where I used this name, Thomas. And I taught myself that I could get their name and I could use it multiple times in a sentence. And what did I just teach the brain and the body, real time, that I could do that? So by the end of that exercise, that girl said, Okay, I didn't think I could get the names of somebody in public, but I did it. And look how, yeah, Thane, I feel pretty good right now. Oh my gosh, look at what I did. I just went into the world and I had three conversations with random strangers, and I didn't explode and I didn't disappear, and I'm still alive. Oh, and guess this, Thane. I was actually happy because one of the guys I talked to, he goes to my gym. I didn't realize that we go to the same gym. You know, maybe I'll see him at the gym sometime. Oh, isn't that amazing? What happens when we start connecting with people? Yeah. Okay. So then the next card I gave her was a little bit harder. Okay. And I said, okay, so you know where we're headed with this. By the end of this card deck, you're gonna be creating gratitude sandwiches, that's what we call it, with strangers. You're gonna be walking up to strangers and creating goodness, kindness, and love. And you're gonna do it in an authentic way that you do not believe is possible. But when you do it with a stranger and you do it the right way, you're gonna get something we call a gratitude cocktail. And that gratitude cocktail is a feeling that is the most incredible feeling you'll ever experience. But to get there, you gotta learn how to use people's names. You gotta learn how to be authentic, you gotta learn how to pour your heart into another human being that you don't know. And how do you do that? We train you on it, we teach you how to do that, right? So that woman that was afraid to ask for names, the next card that I gave her is called Dance Out Loud. And in Dance Out Loud, what I wanted her to do was to find a place where she could put on some music, her favorite song, and literally dance out loud where people could see her dancing in public. Okay. So, what did what did most people do when I say that's the exercise? And you probably did the same thing, Natasha. You said, Oh, I'm not doing that. People stare at me on that. I didn't think about it. Oh, I know. You're like, no, I'm not doing it. Okay, so here's the important thing that's actually part of the process because I want your brain to predict average to less than good, because that's gonna create what we call predictive mismatch. All right, okay, because when you do this exercise, your brain's gonna enter into a little bit of a learning mode. It becomes more malleable because there's risk in this. Wait a minute, Thane. You want me to go dance

Exercises That Build Social Courage

SPEAKER_00 34:15

in front of people in a safe place where I can control it, yes, and I'm gonna express myself and my happiness in an open way. Yes, that is correct. Okay, yeah, that is definitely scary for me. And my heart is racing right now, and I'm feeling something, yes. And what you're feeling is a hormone called vasopressin. And vasopressin is also a social bonding hormone. And when it's present in the blood system, it does some amazing things and it will teach you about a human being. So that's vasopressin, and I want it in your blood system right now. So you're doing everything correctly. You feel it? Okay, great. Now here we go. We're gonna go talk to this person. We're gonna go dance out loud, okay? So, this is what this lady did. She pulled up in uh at a gas station where she had to put gas in her car. She opened her car door, she put on her favorite song, and then she started filling up the gas. And while she's filling up the gas, she's literally dancing and having a great old time, okay? Now, when she picked that restaurant, when she picked that gas station to do the exercise, there was nobody there. But lo and behold, a young man pulled up while she was dancing at the gas pump. So she freaked out because now suddenly somebody else could see her. Not only the people that were pulling up on the street near the gas station, but now there's a man on the other side of the pump. And she had and she panicked, right? And you could see it on the video because we do everything by video, okay? And then what she did was she solved the problem. She said to this young man, she says, I'm taking a course in emotional intelligence and I'm trying to learn how to be vulnerable in public. So that's why I'm dancing right now to this music, and I'm uncomfortable. So would you do me a favor? Would you dance with me? And so this 25, yeah, this 25-year-old man got off his motorcycle, came over, and he started dancing with this woman at the gas tank. And the next thing you know, they're getting into it, they're laughing, and then the gas tank fills up, and she looks at that young man, and she is vivid with happiness because she just experienced something fun with a stranger. So, what did the what did the body do? The body said, wait a minute, we predicted failure and ugly, and what we just got was fun and amazing. Oh my gosh, release the dopamine, release the oxytocin, and that's what happens. So now I got oxytocin and dopamine, and it mixes with vasopressin. And when it mixes with vasopressin, it does something magical, and you'll feel it, you'll feel it in your body. That's your first gratitude cocktail. And when you get one, you'll never forget it. And you'll also learn how to use it to level set your emotional energy at any time. So I literally go into the world and I use neuroscience to level set my emotional energy, and I do it by performing acts of love and kindness with strangers, and that makes it kills my heart every day. And I've literally made thousands and thousands of what we call gratitude sandwiches, and I've now taught this to many, many people that have completely changed their lives, how they show up in life, um, because they healed their hearts and they healed their mind and they did it experientially, which means they retain it 90% intention when we learn by doing than when we learn by reading. And that's why there is no book about the equation of life and abundant happiness. It is a class, and you take it online. You've got to experience it, and then you go into the world with the cards and you experience the cards.

SPEAKER_03 38:10

So people can contact you to do this themselves, but you also work with businesses, don't you? You you to give that whole ethos for the business. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 38:20

Well, because when you think about it, right, the we are the business, the labor force is the business. So if I if I'm struggling to balance my emotional energy at home, maybe I've got a teenager that's giving me a hard time right now, and I'm dealing with that ugly teenager, and I'm coming to work with a lot of anger and animosity and challenges. So when I show up at work, I haven't balanced my emotional energy correctly, which means I might snap at a couple of my co-workers. And when Susie from accounting calls looking for that report, I rip her a new one. Why? Yeah, because I didn't balance my emotional energy. Well, that's what leads to a bad culture, you see. So culture in companies comes from behavior of employees. So if you want to change the culture of your company, you have to change the heart and mind of the employee. So, what I do is I work with businesses that understand the value of love and kindness. And what we do is we come in and we use AI to actually measure culture using algorithms that we install in your computer system. And then we see how your staff interacts using and we're looking for emotional words. It's really, really quite amazing. Then what we do is we come in and we teach love, kindness, gratitude, connection, awareness, regulation, and uh metacognition. So you're able, as a business owner, you're actually able to look at your dashboard and see your burnout score improve and see your executive capacity score improve, to see your psychological safety score improve because the system's gonna measure this by by looking how your employees interact, email, talk to each other. So, yes, I do it for businesses and I do it for people. Um, businesses obviously are full-paying clients. When I work with people, um, I work on a donation basis, all right. So the reason I work on a donation basis is because I never want somebody to say, I couldn't afford therapy, I couldn't afford mental health, I couldn't, okay. So we work on a donation basis. And the reason that there is a donation is because you have to have skin in the game. Because when I've worked with people for free, I'll put about 12 hours of my life teaching you everything you need to learn. And then when the rubber hits the road and I ask you to do something that might be a little uncomfortable, right? If I ask you to suddenly start dancing in a public place out loud and you're still full of fear and fright and you won't do it, okay. Well, when you've got some money invested in this course, you're gonna do it because it's hard-earned dollars and you put that money there to fix yourself. So get your money out of it. That's why there

Dancing In Public And Gratitude Cocktail

SPEAKER_00 41:15

has to be skin in the game, right? I took a course in emotional intelligence in Las Vegas, very, very amazing course, very challenging. I spent six thousand dollars on that course. I quit that class six times. Six times I walked out, called the instructor, not so many nice things. Okay, but what what kept me in it was the money because I had invested in myself, and I'm like, dude, you got thousands of dollars here at stake. You got to get your training out of this, or you just bull your money, and that's that's foolish. So that's why I require skin in the game.

SPEAKER_01 41:50

Yeah, it has to be there.

SPEAKER_00 41:51

Exactly. Yep, and people will value it to support, yeah, and it takes money to support these things, yeah. You know, I I like I've got a couple thousand dollars I spend every month in just software systems to be able to support what I do, yeah. So that's why there has to be a cost, but what it what it isn't is excessive, right? No, I work on a donation basis, and uh it has to be a number that has merit to you and me. We both have to agree to it. So the great thing is, you know, it's based upon what you can afford to pay. All right. So I don't anybody, I don't want anybody ever to say, you know, I can't take this class because I can't afford it. No, that's that's that's not true. You can afford it.

SPEAKER_03 42:32

Yeah. Sounds amazing. It sounds really, really interesting. I there's so much resonates with me from talking to you. I I'm an energy therapist and I do a lot of past life regression, so all of that soul's path, and you know, we're here to learn, and what you know, all different angles. And so to hear you talk, all a lot of it resonated with me. So fascinating.

SPEAKER_00 42:59

Yes, I mean, you know, I grew up thinking I had one life and then I died and realized that I had multiple lives.

SPEAKER_02 43:07

Yeah, many more.

SPEAKER_00 43:08

And and I, yeah, there are many more available to me, but I do know that when I return, I know how to answer those three questions. Okay, and because of that, it's very powerful. Yeah, because of that, when I return, I will be given the opportunity to go anywhere I want.

SPEAKER_03 43:27

And yes, yes, because you've learned that lesson.

SPEAKER_00 43:30

I've learned, yes, I've learned rule number three, which is to find, right? I can find God from within because once you've learned how to do that and it's stored in your soul, right? Every memory of every past life is stored in your soul. Okay. So when you learn how to light from within and it becomes permanently etched into your soul and your heart, that's why when I return and God goes, Hey, Thane, great job. Look what you, man, is doing. Accomplish with your company. Look at all these souls that you're bringing back into love and light and goodness. Um, where do you want to go? And I'm gonna look at my wife and I'm gonna say, you know what, honey? I'm I think I'm done with earth, okay? Alpha Centuri over there. Somewhere easier. Yeah, I'm going to Alpha Centuri, honey. You coming with me? And then and then and then what does God say? God goes, Yep, I'll see you. I'll see you when you return. And why does God allow that to happen? Because God knows that I can light from within. So when he wipes my memory and sends me to Alpha Centuri, I will return every time because I know how to light from within.

SPEAKER_01 44:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:40

It's in my DNA now. So no matter where I go in this massive universe, I can find God no matter where I'm at. And I don't need a system or a framework or a religion. I do not have to pay money. I do not have to say these things in order to know God. That's really powerful, right?

SPEAKER_03 45:02

Very powerful. Now, normally, Thane, I ask people one thing that they do spiritually every day, but I don't think I don't feel it's relevant for you because I feel you are a walking beacon, and maybe you just don't need to do anything else. Here's what I would say.

SPEAKER_00 45:24

So I have a phrase that I teach in my course. It's a motto. It's called Dare to Be Second. And I teach it, and that's what I ask everybody. Like when you finish my class, you become one of these. This is called a coolie fly. This is the logo for my company. And it's a perfectly balanced human being that has balanced their body, that has balanced their subconscious mind, that has balanced their soul, and it balanced the relationship with the thing. And we call it source, you can call it God, you can call it whatever it needs to be. But when you balance those four things, you get a transparent heart in the middle. Okay. And when you live transparently, then you see the other side of this necklace and you get to live in pure light, which is how I walk. So dare to be second is about gratitude. It's about living in gratitude. So the word dare, because it takes courage to live in gratitude, that's true. The number two represents that gratitude is bi-directional. It's about putting it out and it's about getting it back, which is actually the most powerful part of gratitude when it's right. Yeah. The word B is because when you live in gratitude, it is a state of being. Okay. And the last word is second, S E C O N D. It's a reminder of two things. Number one, the the amount of time of which we should focus on, because that's actually the only thing we can control is right now. One second. So we teach awareness training and the importance of staying in the here and now. One second. Then the other meaning is second, which is the position. The most powerful position in the world is second place. And the reason it's second place is this is usually where I get the aha moment from most people. Okay. The most powerful thing in existence, in existence, okay, I call it God. You can call it whatever you want to call it, but the most powerful thing in existence

Workplace Culture And Measuring Burnout

SPEAKER_00 47:30

sits in second place. It does. Because it puts us first. God put us humans first and God is second. So on the left side of that equal sign, God puts us first, and God is second. So in math, we learn that the importance of math is balance and neutrality, bringing us back to equal or neutral. So what that means is on the on the opposite side of that equal sign, I flip it. So I live here on earth and I put myself second and I put God first. Okay. So when you put that and you flip the denominator, the numerator and the denominator, they cancel each other out, and you get perfect balance. You see? So the phrase dare to be second is exactly what it takes to live an abundantly happy life. And if you live from second position like I do, and everybody that's learned my course and this way of living, you'll learn to live abundantly happy. You'll never have a bad day, and you'll have an anchor. And what I mean by that is I can have the worst day known to man. But I also know that I've been trained and I can go into the world that God will show me one person in my field that's looking for my light, and I will share my light using gratitude with a stranger to fill their heart full of love. And when I fill their heart, they will fill my heart. It's reciprocal. And then both of us will probably end up in tears. Because if you do it right with a stranger, you'll trigger, you'll trigger the emotion of unconditional love. You'll start weeping because it's unconditional love that you're feeling. And unconditional love is what heals you. And so that's why I'm saying once you learn how to do this, you'll never have a bad day. My Coolie Flies, we go into the world every day and we create ripples of goodness, and it keeps us happy, and it just ripples into our lives and the world around us. So that's that's why I do what I do and teach, and grateful every day to be alive. Fabulous.

SPEAKER_03 49:39

Yeah, yeah. I think what a great message because we need that at the moment more than ever. Absolutely. Sending out love, gratitude, compassion. That's that's what we need. That's how we need to walk the walk.

SPEAKER_00 49:53

Service. When if you feel down, you're down. Go do something, help somebody else, right? You can always help somebody, and when you help somebody, you're lifting your heart. You do there's beauty and service. There's beauty and service, and that beauty will heal you. It really will. That's what healed me. It was it was kindness and gratitude and unconditional love with strangers. That's what healed me. I don't have any mental illness anymore, nor do I have anger. I don't have anger anymore. I don't explode at people. I don't my my emotional operating system has been completely rewired into one of positivity and abundance and love. And that's how we show up.

SPEAKER_03 50:37

Yeah, yeah. And peace. Lovely. Wow, it's been amazing to speak to you. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast. I'm gonna put all your details up underneath the episode. So if people want to contact you, they can do so. So thank you ever so much. It's been lovely. So if you if you've enjoyed listening to us, then please like and share the podcast. You can also subscribe and support the podcast, and I will speak with you all soon.