Parents, Pressure & Performance: Helping Your Kid Thrive Without Burning Out- Max Rooke

Elevate your performance mindset and rewrite the story of success with Max Rooke on the Crackin’ Backs Podcast. In this powerful episode, we uncover how a single “Max Moment” – that lightning-flash insight where everything shifts – ignited his passion for mindset and mental coaching in athletics. From hidden burnout in high-achievers to the perfectionism trap, NIL pressures, social media anxiety, academic stress, and the devastating burnout cascade, Max shares how we can spot mental fatigue early and help refill the tank.

A former professional soccer player for Reading FC and Great Britain, and now Associate Head Coach at Pepperdine University, Max has guided multiple NCAA Tournament teams to regional success As the founder of Life to the Max, he marries elite performance strategies with deep mindset coaching, answering the vital question: “What separates good from great in sport, business, and life?”

Join us as Max breaks down:

• How a personal Max Moment changed his coaching philosophy forever
• The silent, emotional toll of perfectionism on student-athletes
• Navigating the relentless 24⁄7 scrutiny of social media and NIL deals
• Guiding athletes and families under the weight of financial and academic pressure
• Empowering parents to support, not stress, their young athletes
• How youthful mental habits can drive success—or burnout—into adulthood

From the locker room to the real world, Max shares proven strategies to build resilience, reclaim balance, and sustain peak performance long after the final whistle. This is more than sports; it’s a blueprint for thriving under pressure and redefining excellence.

Learn More & Take Action:

• Explore Max’s mindset programs and vision at: maxrooke.com
• Discover his new book, Max Moments, for insights that transform your performance journey – available now!

Tune in, shift your mindset, and embrace your next Max Moment.

We are two sports chiropractors, seeking knowledge from some of the best resources in the world of health. From our perspective, health is more than just “Crackin Backs” but a deep dive into physical, mental, and nutritional well-being philosophies.

Join us as we talk to some of the greatest minds and discover some of the most incredible gems you can use to maintain a higher level of health. Crackin Backs Podcast

Transcript

Dr. Spencer Baron: 0:00

On today's cracking backs podcast, we step onto the field and deep into the mind with Max rook, associate head women's soccer coach at Pepperdine University and an elite mindset mentor from hidden burnout and some of the crippling perfectionism to the pressures of NFL deals and non stop social media exposure, we're going to pull back the curtain on the mental health battles that a lot of today's students and student athletes are facing. What's a max moment in that life changing spark where everything shifts, and this episode is packed with insight that might just create yours. Get ready for practical, powerful tips that inform you at your best and on and off the field. Let's go. All

Dr. Terry Weyman: 0:56

right, I am excited because I'm finally going to get to meet a guy that has this legend status at the university I work with and, you know, and for this the US audience, you were a professional soccer player for the European ons. You were professional footballer. Then you went to be a coach of a d1 school. You've also written a book about finding pivotal mental moments called the max moments. So you're quite the eclectic person, and the reason we want you on show is to talk about something that I feel is a a big, a big deal going on the world right now, and that's the mental state for athletes and dealing with what they have to deal with from from when we were kids, to the landscape that they have to express now. But what first, just kick off the show. First off, welcome to our show, Max and is there. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna say Spencer always makes fun of me. I am not the linguistic of the group, and I am the worst linguistic and writer and I mean, we could the list goes on, but is it? Rook? Is your last name? You

Max Rooke: 2:06

got it best time. Perfect. Look at

Dr. Terry Weyman: 2:10

that. So let's first off. Welcome to the show, bud. Thank you.

Max Rooke: 2:14

Thank you for having me. I appreciate you too. Love it. Love the love what you're doing in the world. Love you know your professions, and then how you've taken that and created this podcast, Doug. Listen to a couple episodes. And awesome job. Awesome job. So keep it

Dr. Terry Weyman: 2:27

up. Oh, so appreciate. So as as a professional athlete turned coach, you started looking at the mental aspect, and when did the your eyes open up to the importance of the mindset in the mental coaching in athletes. When did that kind of start? Yeah,

Max Rooke: 2:47

so I'll give you the whole story, please. I'm originally from England. Came over in 1998 and when I started sort of this journey in the world of high performance, it was with reading Football Club, and that's where I was, you know, on my journey to be a professional footballer, professional soccer player and stuff. And then quite an early age, I said, Hey, you're probably not, we're going to be, you know, tall enough, you're not strong enough, you're not whatever. And maybe, maybe, you know, maybe you need to find a different path. So then it became that question of, like, what's next, right? And so, what's next? And so I was bouncing around with, like, trying out with some other clubs and stuff. And then this opportunity to come out to America, like it's brand new at the time. You know, you see a lot of people, internationals, that come over and play play college sports right now, but at the time, back in 1998 there wasn't really a thing. I didn't really know anybody. And so the Professional Football Association put together these tryouts. And said, Hey, do you want to go out and play? So I was like, Sure, let me give it a try. So I go out and I this, try out, meet this, meet this coach. He says, Do you want to come to Macon, Georgia, right? Have you ever heard of making Georgia? Macon Georgia, just outside of Atlanta, and he's like, you want to come and play for me. I'm like, You know what? I like, let's go and there's we're going to talk about it. But like, in my head, I always knew there was something more out there for me, but I didn't know what it was. And so this, this opportunity to come out to America, literally, I packed a bag and I had a suitcase, a dream and a positive attitude, and said, somehow I'm gonna make this work. So I come out to America and start this journey over here. Played college soccer, had some really cool things happen. I think. Dr, Terry, did you compete? Got to serve with in a world championship, the World University Games. Was that right? Did I read about that? Yeah. So I got to play in two world two World Championship, two World University Games in 2001 in Beijing, China, and 2003 in Daegu, Korea. So this world of high performance and playing at a really high level was was something that I just did, you know, it kind of came naturally and stuff, and then, and then I got into coaching. And after kind of that career kind of kind of died out a little bit, the game had given me so much, you know, like, are so blessed, you know, traveled the world, got to see so many things, got to do so many things, that at that time, it was like, I want to give back to the game for what the game gave to me, you know, and somehow I'm going to figure this thing out. So coaching became the natural way. So then I got into coaching. Became a high school coach, became a high school teacher, then I got into college coaching. I met my beautiful wife, who's been married for 17 years now. She's a she's a college coach too. She's the Associate Head Coach for Pepperdine beach volleyball team. Works with massive socoli. So we've been doing this thing called life together, kind of alongside each other and and at at the time, when I was living in Georgia. She, she got this opportunity to accept this position at the University of Illinois in Springfield, freezing cold. Like, you know, I'm saying, like, I'm going from, like, hot to, like, minus 10 degrees, you know, black ice, you know, shoveling the driveway of snow in the morning just to get to work. And I'm like, oh my goodness me. But it was like, we're gonna, we're gonna do this thing. So, so where I'm going with it is, we got there, and this was division two level. So now we're at the division one level. We're at the division two level. And I saw a lot of people that were really good, but I felt like they had the potential to be great. And so I was like, How do I how do I make an impact? And I'm already making an impact, like, as a soccer coach, but like, how do I make an impact? Some of this idea of, like, some of the strategies and skills I learned from that kind of the mental side. So I went over to the Psychology Department. The faculty athletic rep at UAS, where we were, was also the head of the Psychology Department. I went here, man. I said, Look, just like you two kind of two brains get together. I said, this name is Marcela. Said, Marcelo, we've got to do something. So we created a program, a mental skills program, for the athletes at UAS, and it just like, boom. Just took off. Just people are just resonating with all our ideas and stuff like that. And that's when I knew that that alongside coaching soccer, but helping people see what they can't see for themselves, was really important to me, and that really unearthed something in me about, okay, let's take this journey. And so from there, and I've gone on and done all these sorts of things, and so it's, it's kind of parallel this idea of mental skills training and stuff. It's paralleled with, you know, soccer is really just the vehicle, you know, Soccer is the vehicle to teach life. Soccer is the vehicle to teach skills that can help us in in many, many facets. And that's what I believe we still do to this day with our current team. It's like, you know, soccer is just the vehicle to teach life, to help our extraordinary girls at Pepperdine become extraordinary women. So, but it if you're asking me, where it started, it started then it started at Division Two program in the middle of nowhere, and I say shoveling snow to get to work. And I'm like, you know, but there was something it was like, boom. That was the moment. And haven't looked back since,

Dr. Terry Weyman: 7:21

you know, that's awesome. You know, we I think a word thrown around a lot is burnout and and I think a lot of the students trying to balance everything from the physical to the mental side, is getting tougher and tougher and tougher. And, you know, you mentioned you saw athletes that were good, and you wanted to make them great. How do you keep them from quitting and and when they when they say, I'm burned out, and which is part of life. I mean, when I first can really deeply connected to Spencer, I was burned out, and he pulled me out of the the trenches, so to speak. And how do you how do you do that for these athletes, when you heard the word burnout and you see their posture change, you see the physical change, how can you talk to us about that process? Yeah,

Max Rooke: 8:14

well, I love these. I love you. Said that. I love you. You jumped into physiology. And just kind of the idea of of that meant, like his mental state, but it's connected to our physical state too, right? So it's state too, right? So it's like, like, if I'm going to work with anybody, the first thing we talk about is your, is your, is your, is your state, right? And it's your focus, is your physiology, it's your language, right? And it's all these different things. And so physiology is such an important piece of it, but, um, but connected with that. It's, to me, it's state. So it's how you showing up to life every day. How you showing up to the moment? Like, you know, if I get on this, if I get on this, like, Spencer never met me, and Spencer's like, Who's this guy? And I show up. I'm like, Hey, really excited. Beat you'd be like, get this guy off this podcast. What are we doing? You invited this guy on it? Get him off it. You know? I'm saying, so it's like, so you can't show up to the moment. I always say this, like, is the state you are in aligned with the result that you're trying to create? You know, I'm saying like, if you're, if you're, if you want a big things to happen in your life, then you've got to show up in the right state. You I see too many people. They have these big goals, these big dreams, but yet, the state they're in, the state they show up to life in every day, doesn't match the goals that they have. And so there's this imbalance. And so a big part of it, first of all, is, is like, how you showing up to life every day, is the state you're in aligned with the result that you're trying to create. And obviously, the world we live in results means, you know, I want to start, I want to be the best. I want to be a player of the year. I want to get to the Final Four. I want to win a national championship. I want to win WC, like whatever that's going to be for a businessman, if I want to make a lot of money, or, you know, in relationships, I want to, I want to be a great husband. I want to be a great wife, like whatever it is they say. Is. Let's say these, we're teaching life here, not not soccer. Soccer is the vehicle to teach life. So this, these principles stand the test all over. But I think it starts with state, and then the second piece. So go back to you with burnout second piece, because you see it, right? You see, when somebody's burnt out, what changes their state? Heads down, shoulder shrug to like, I. Life is hard, you know. So it's that physiological, physiological state. But second piece for me, which is a big thing, is I believe a lot of the work I do now with our with our athletes and anybody, is helping them create better meanings in their life, you know. So it's really what is the story that you're telling yourself, right? A story is nothing but a set of beliefs that we create about why things are the way in our life. So when tough things happen, what is, what is burnout as a result of all these things coming at us, and we don't feel like we can handle them, or we don't have the tools or strategies to handle them. And sometimes it's not getting better strategies, better tools. Sometimes it's just, it's just reframing what it means to you, you know? And so if I can help play people reframe what things mean to them, then, then that's powerful. And that's kind of what that's what the book is. That's the book is. It's all about little short stories about, how do you reframe and create better meanings of things in your life? And when you can create better meanings, you're going to get better actions, and better actions are going to create better results, you know? And so I think burnout is a lot of that is just poor meanings.

Dr. Spencer Baron: 11:04

So Max, first of all, what is your can you just show our viewing audience what your shirt says? Because I can only see part of it, l, 2t, at life to the max, baby. Yeah. Appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. And I like the color too. By the way, I appreciate

Unknown: 11:21

Max. You know,

Dr. Spencer Baron: 11:23

this is interesting, because you have student athletes that people don't appreciate what they go through. Because we get regular students that come into patients that they call narps, non athletic, regular people, right? I remember I said that they're fried, right? Yeah, I can imagine what a student F and I can imagine I seen it. I've had, actually, a couple come to me and say they were thinking about suicide. But point being, because they go through a lot, they have to excel in school academically, and they have to excel in the sport, and that is, obviously, you know, means a lot to them. So when you develop that target for them, then they become, some of them become perfectionists. At what point does that create burnout? At what point do you help them identify where they want to go? They come up with this energy and all that, and they keep maybe missing the mark or, yeah,

Max Rooke: 12:22

yeah. I think that's great. That's a great question. I'm already loving the questions, by the way, hit maybe the big ones right out the gates. Like, it's great. But I think so I tell you, I bring back to our pipeline soccer team. So it's, you know, you said about stories, right? It's like there's so many things that we experience every day, and that's how, that's how we can explain a lot of things. So I'd say a lot of times, you know, we're pretty good deadline soccer, right? Dr, Terry, you you've seen us, we're pretty good, right? So we compete, you know, one of the top teams in the country and, and so to play at that level, you get a lot of high level people with these perfectionists. They come into the program, and they used to be in a big fish in a little pond, you know? And then they come into Pepperdine soccer, and all of a sudden, and there's not just peppermint soccer, there's a lot of great athletes and a lot of great programs at Pepperdine, right? And then, of course, when they come in, and then they're a little fish in a big point, right? And so what happens is, is their identity is impacted, because they're used to, because a lot of times their identity is, I'm the woman. Their identity is, I'm used to being the captain. I'm used to being the one that the team leans on. I'm used to being the top goal scorer. I'm used to playing every minute of every second of every game, you know? I'm saying. And all of a sudden, when that doesn't happen, it's like an identity crisis, like, it's like, oh my god, like, what's going on, you know? And so then there's, there's all these emotions start to come up, when all of these things start to happen. And then this, you know, I'm not the best anymore. And so there's this conflict. And then maybe you get the parents like, why are you not starting, you know? And all of a sudden there's all these added pressure from other people because they're used to a certain way. And so I think a lot of when people come into my office, you know, I normally, I feel like, within about three questions, I can, you know, they're like, Coach Max. Can I? Can I come and sit down? I'm like, Yeah, sure. Come on, sit down. They're like, they have a soccer question. I'm like, Okay, well, it's going to talk about soccer. And then, invariably, I know they don't want to talk about soccer, right? And then they ask one question, and then you ask another question, and within about three questions, it's like, you know, I'm not. I'm not. I don't mean this in a bad way. But then maybe the water works come and they're like, Okay, let's talk about what you really want to talk about. And then it's and then it's like, it's real. It's like, I don't know how to handle this, like I've been the best for so long, and I don't know how to sit on the bench, you know? And so a big part of, I guess, what I'm bringing this up is I say a big part of what I do for right now, what comes to my head is to say, helping our people, our players, understand that your value doesn't come from what you do. It comes from who you are. You know well, your value if you're if you tie it to results, if you tie it to starting, if you tie it to being the leading goal scorer, when that goes away, then you don't have anything. So how do we how. How do we help our young women and young men? But just, I happen to work with women, but how do we help our young athletes? But for me, especially like, and I have a special heart for helping empower young women like, how do we help our young women understand that the valley doesn't come from playing, it comes from who they are. And you can play on our team, and you can play every minute, you can play no minutes, but we're still going to love you. We're still going to you're still a massive part of what we do. And when you understand that, you free yourself up to step in and be your best self, you know, but until that moment, if you're always wrestling with comparison, and she's this and she's that, so if we take away that, and it's not an easy thing to do, but it's a it's a conditioning process, but if we can get them to a place where they separate themselves from that identity and that comparison. I think that's the first step going back to what you said, Dr Terry, about this burnout and just some of the struggles that some of these young athletes have now, I think that's a big piece of it is is identity and where they get their identity from. And that's where I go back to this idea of meaning. If we can shift the meaning of what identity is to them, then it opens up for them to even step into an even more empowering version of themselves, you know. And I don't want to monotonise the conversation, because I want to open up questions, but the thing that the thing that comes up for me is you two are amazing at what you do and like, I can't like, they come to you for something very specific in terms of medical stuff. And one of the big things is when somebody gets injured, when somebody is has like, a six to nine month recovery from a serious injury, and they come in my office and they're broken. They're broken. Why they're broken? Because their identity has been, I've been the woman for 18 years of my life, 19 years of my life, 20 years of my life, and now I have nothing, because Soccer is the only thing was my entity, identity, and now it's gone. And so in that moment, it's almost like it's the end for them. And so then my job, at least, I believe my job that's, that's my job, you know, outside of just coaching, my job is then to help them see, well, what if it's not the end, but what if you create a different meaning? What if it was the beginning? What if it was the beginning of you figuring out who you're really meant to be and create new identity so that when soccer shows back up in your life, you're even more powerful, you know? And so there's been many a time where we've gone through that process, and somebody at the end comes back into my office nine months later, after like an ACO and six coach. I don't know how to describe this, but I thought my career was over when it happened, and now I look back and it was actually the biggest blessing in my life, because now I know who I am without soccer. Now soccer's back. I'm even better, I'm even stronger, I'm even fitter, I'm even I'm more I'm even more emotionally fit than I am physically fit, and I'm ready to run. Ready to rock and roll. And they come back, and they're an even they're an even better version of themselves. You're like, Who is this person, you know? And so, but it took that injury to help them realize who they were, right? And so that's those, those meanings I talk about, like, you know, if any, is it the end or is it the beginning? And so, anyways, there's multiple examples, but that's an idea, and I think you two would resonate. You two would resonate with that because, because that's what you do, and that's on that medical side, it's like there's an emotional component and a mental component that goes with that recovery. You know, there's the physical recovery,

Dr. Spencer Baron: 18:13

but then there's also the mental recovery. This Terry, I gotta tell you,

Dr. Terry Weyman: 18:20

man, he gets goosebumps when it's a good show. So start where 17 minutes and he's already getting the goosebumps. So Max, you're hitting a home run, buddy.

Dr. Spencer Baron: 18:31

Max, I don't even think you realize how I just broke down the sweat. I think you realize how you are hitting the nail directly on the head. Man, you are talking about stuff that actually is, I tell, I tell my kids about it all the time. I go, don't let your identity become that car or your long hair or your because you see it all the time, because I we live in a there's, kind of a wealthy area here in South Florida, and we get some spoiled brats that drive these really beautiful cars. They get a little dent, and it's their world. They just get destroyed. And I go, that's because he has no identity. Personally, it's the car, or it's the dog, or it's something, and those things are fragile. You know, somebody I've seen buddies of mine who had, you know, beautiful, long hair growing up, and now they're bald, and that hair was their identity, you know, I mean, it's just crazy stuff, but what you're saying is so valuable in the sport. But man, for those listeners who have never picked up a ball or been on a field or been athletic, whatsoever. Their identity may be somewhere else than not here. So thank you, because that's enormously important. I love that.

Max Rooke: 19:55

Thank you. Can we say I appreciate I appreciate that. And I was going to say this is, you know. Know, Like, and I wasn't planning on saying this, but just you saying dog Spence. Like, isn't that what guys do a midlife crisis? Oh, yeah, right. Oh, totally Yeah. You know, I know it's not a guy show, right? But it's like, you see where I'm going with it? Like, like, this is, this is stuff that it's like, it's applicable. I just take it and I just apply it to sport, and I just help, help it without a win. But it's like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm saying I've been, I've just been through it, you know? I'm like, I'm like, What are we doing here, you know? So it's like, it's, it's real, it's real. Wow, you know,

Dr. Terry Weyman: 20:30

I didn't know. I didn't know we were only a year apart.

Unknown: 20:33

Yeah, yeah, bullshit.

Max Rooke: 20:42

God. I went down the wrong way.

Dr. Spencer Baron: 20:48

Like a millisecond. I bought into it. What's he

Unknown: 20:53

talking about? The wall went down the wrong way. That's good.

Dr. Terry Weyman: 20:58

Thank you. I'm here. I'm here all week.

Dr. Spencer Baron: 21:01

Oh man. Max, I want to ask you someone that's probably burning in most people's minds right now, it's that n, i l stuff that name, image and likeness, craziness that's going on that. Yeah, you know, people are under the microscope. Excuse me, athletes are under the microscope constantly. And it has, you know, it's interesting, because the NCAA, you know, it's like the pendulum swung in the completely opposite direction and empowered the student athlete. What have you seen, mentally, for these kids that are constantly under the microscope, that even have a shot at any kind of nio, what do you see, mental health wise, with that?

Max Rooke: 21:49

Yeah. How do I answer that? Yeah, it's, it's a, it's a, it's a big subject right now, and it's constantly changing. You know, I almost feel like if I say something right now, probably two days later, what I'm saying is going to be relevant. Saying is going to be relevant, because they change the rules. And it's just more on to something else, because it changes that quickly, you know, like, so with the NIO stuff, like, yeah, just just, I mean, like, you know, the rules are always changing. That's kind of where I'm going. It's like, you know, recruits and rules are always changing. And then, like, like, saying, then it was an amateur thing, and then it went to the NIO money, and all of sudden, now there's now, there's now, there's roster limits. And now with roster limits come now you have the ability to pay players and stuff like that in revenue sharing and stuff like that. And it's just like, it's constantly, constantly changing, you know? But if we just stay on, like NFL, I think that what it's what it's done. And you hit it on the head, it's really shifted, okay, and changed kind of who has the power a little bit like it. I'm not gonna say it used to be, because I do believe it still is this way. But coming and playing at Pepperdine, whether whatever sport or whatever school, because there's, there's so many amazing schools out there, so that's just something. Let's just make it about Pepperdine. Let's make it about every school. Every school has something that makes it uniquely special, and going and getting an education, and going and playing a sport or not, you know, like, say, the Nach, right, whatever, just going to a school, having the privilege to go somewhere, you know, having the privilege to step onto the show and and be with you guys and share time with you. It's a privilege. It's an honor, right? And with that comes this, this, this feeling of like, Man, I'm I'm doing something really special. And so when the coaches in the university kind of were in control, it's like you were inviting players into your program, like, Hey, would you like to come and play for us? Like we have something to offer you, and we believe that we can help you be a better woman, turn you into a better man, you know, but with with this nio stuff, it was, it shifted. Now you're trying to convince somebody to come play for you. You see the difference trying to invite somebody, but trying to convince somebody? It's two different things. I'm trying to I'm trying to make somebody believe that they should come and play at Pepperdine, instead of saying, Hey, we have something special to offer you. And if you would like that, and if you feel in your heart that it's the right thing to do, then you absolutely we have a spot for you, versus like, I'm trying to outbid somebody else. I'm trying to outbid the next goal. And the only way that you're going to come to come to, I'm looking at both of you. I'm saying, I'm going to give you this much, and then you'll say, Well, I can't come to now. I'm going to give you this much, and I'm going to, we're going to be in a bidding war as to, like, which school, which school you go to based off of money. Like, it's changed the game, and it's changed the reason why people are choosing schools, and I think that's why also you're seeing the transfer portal is blown up, right? And the transfer port is blown up because I think many people now they're choosing schools for the wrong reasons, you know, or for a distorted vision of what they think that school is. And they get there and they realize maybe it doesn't fit everything that they want out of a school that they were looking for. And. Maybe they were chasing the money, right? Or they were chasing the scholarship, or they were chasing this and that, and then they get there and realize, wow, there's more to this thing than just money, right? There's more to you know, there's more to this, this experience. And so you're seeing a lot of people now hop schools, transfer, transfer, transfer, and so, yeah, so I think the power shifted. So that's how I would describe your family.

Dr. Terry Weyman: 25:23

Hey, Max, I want to ask you something we taught you a mental guy. We know that the brain doesn't really was it developed that frontal lobe until like, 2425 26 right? And so we're asking these 18 year olds who have, full neural, neurological brain capacity to make adult decisions that they never had to do before, and where they may have wanted for passion, wise, to play for a certain coach. But now there's this conflict with parents who do have a frontal lobe, who maybe say, Oh, this is the bear money deal, but the kid had we brought in a whole different aspect, on a neurological level now that we didn't have before. Yeah, as a mental coach, when you're recruiting, how do you deal with the underdeveloped brain when you're asking these athletes to make a developed brain decision?

Max Rooke: 26:20

Good question. I mean, I'm like, I'm hearing that going well, like, that's, that's, you're almost, I've thought about it, but the way you just articulated that, it opens up even for me, like, a perspective, like, wow, I haven't thought of it like that. You know, that underdeveloped brain, it's a, it's a really unique way of looking at like, for instance, we're in a position, part in this in the summer right now. So June 15, right now. Again, the rules may change, but right now we're in a position where, where June 15 is the first time, at least for soccer, you can talk to rising juniors, so sophomores in high school, and begin having conversations with them about the potential for them coming to your school. So you're talking, how old is sophomore in high school, 15,

Dr. Terry Weyman: 27:01

yeah, like, 1516, yeah, 16,

Max Rooke: 27:04

yeah. So you're so, you're trying, so if we, if we go based on this, this pathway of conversation, you're trying to talk to a 15 year old about what they want to do with their life. You're trying to talk to them about money. You're trying to talk to them about scholarship. You're trying to talk to them about, you know, this, this, these, you know, players that are getting million dollar contract, and again, not not women's soccer, but basketball, football, you know, there's what the softball rights, first million dollar nil deal and stuff like that. So you're talking about life changing, life changing decisions, life changing money, that is happening as early as, like 15. So how do you make that? I don't know. So for me, for me, it's and Tim who I get to work with. We haven't mentioned that, but I get to work with Tim and Amber and Kevin, like our staff. And Tim has been at Pepperdine for 33 years, and his evolution within the game is he always talks about how it's just cyclical. It just continuously has changed. He's always, always having to re, just reshape himself and reshape like how he his process and how we do things. But I don't think What hasn't changed is, is we will always work from a place at Pepperdine with Tim and I, where we're going to stay true to who we are. So the game, if, quote, unquote, will continue to evolve right or the new rules and stuff like that, but at least for us like you, got to stay true. This, this. These are young girls lives. These are these. These are these are transformational experiences that we can provide for people. And so we we're not just looking for the best players, we're looking for the right players. We're looking for great humans as well as great soccer players. And so our process has to not get caught up in all of that other stuff, you know? And if we can stay aligned with who we are, then I think that helps us navigate this process, because it's easy to get caught up in all the other stuff, right? And so, so it's challenging for us, and it's actually, I think it's helpful for us, because, in a way, it it helps us to get clear on who we are, you know, I'm saying, like, if we're going to we can't play the same game that some of the SEC schools are playing and so on. So whatever, all these different conferences, we have to play our game. And our game is, is, we're Pepperdine, we're a Christian school, we're we're right for the right type of person. And so our job is to go find those, those those young women, you know, entering and to give those young women the opportunity to come play for us. But, yeah, we can't. It's a comparison. Comparison is the thief of joy. So

Dr. Terry Weyman: 29:25

you know, before Spencer asked this question or goes that direction, I want to say on this point, because you mentioned the transfer portal, at what point do you look at a person who's already been in the college system a little bit so has matured a little bit, maybe mentally and physically, versus taking a chance of a brand new high school, younger, underdeveloped brain, how do, how do you make that this, that's a tough decision to make that you didn't have to make before. Right, right.

Max Rooke: 29:53

Great question. I think, I think the easy, the simple way of looking at it, I say, is different, different programs, different schools. Look at it different ways. And if you're looking to create more of an immediate type of reaction, like, if you're if you need an immediate result, then you're probably going to get go more towards experience, right? You're going to go more towards like, hey, we need something right now, you know? So then that transfer portal, and there's, and I don't want to give the transport bad, bad rock, because there are some players in there that that they just need a new home, maybe they haven't got that break that they need, and so, so it's actually the perfect thing, thing for them to be able to find a second, you know, another second opportunity, right, a rebirth at life, and just being able to go after it. So, so I think the transfer portal has its positive positives, but yeah, for certain schools, I think that if you're looking for an immediate impact, then you go to transfer portal. If you're trying to create alignment, and you're trying to create long term growth and long term sort of vision, then a big part of that is going to be, hello, go on the background. A big part of that is going to be, it's going to be making sure that the players that come into your program align with your values and all those things, and sometimes that takes time, and so learning, and that's why those players in high school, you get to learn more about and you get to see and you get to they come visit, and you get to learn more about them, and have this relationship and develop it. Develop this relationship, and I think that creates a longer term type of vision. I think that's where we've had success, is because people come into our program and they don't really graduate. I mean, they don't really transfer up our program, because we're, we have a long term view of what we're trying to do. It's not just, it's about come in, help us, get results, graduate and get out. It's like, no, let's, let's do this thing called life together, you know? And so just like, just like marriage, right? You don't just, you know, get married and then, boom, it's like, you you commit to something long term. And I think that that would be how I would view our, our sort of vision of what, what we're trying to do here is we're trying to create, like, a long term relationship, not a short term relationship. And I think that's difference between recruiting the transfer portal and recruiting in high school, high school players.

Dr. Spencer Baron: 32:00

Do you guys experience a transition or an issue where, you know, somebody doesn't have the talent, but they they have the Instagram masses you know, or Snapchat or Facebook, or Facebook's for old people, anyway? But but, you know, they have the, you know, the Tiktok views and all that, yeah, and, you know, and they're a marginal player, but you know that bringing them on board could increase the, you know, butts in seats at a stadium or, I mean, does that have any relevance to it? I mean, yeah. I mean,

Max Rooke: 32:45

it does no say. Dr Terry knows we don't even have stands. So we don't need, we don't, we don't get butts

Unknown: 32:50

in seats. So, so, so we,

Max Rooke: 32:56

yeah, exactly No. I mean, I get it. I mean, if that's if that's important to some people, you know, I don't. I don't. I wouldn't say that we look at that,

Dr. Spencer Baron: 33:05

necessarily, look at that, though, or no,

Max Rooke: 33:09

maybe, maybe some other schools, some of you know, potentially, yeah, maybe some other schools, but, but again, I think that where we're at in terms of, in terms of what we're trying to do and what our vision is, I don't think that really plays it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dr. Spencer Baron: 33:23

It was interesting that take a coach, a winning coach, like Nick Saban, in the world of football, and, you know, he, we ended up at Miami Dolphins getting him, and he failed miserably, because he was more of a dictator, and used the leverage in college that you create with how expensive it is, you know, the sponsor, not the sponsor, the scholarships, excuse me, scholarships and things like that, that if you didn't do well in college, he could, can you, and that meant, you know, you lose Your scholarship. Where in the NFL, you know, or pro sports you know, those guys were making more money than the coach. So that dynamic didn't work. How in the world, let me ask you, do you ever have coaches come in to talk to you?

Max Rooke: 34:17

Do it? What do you mean? Give me

Dr. Spencer Baron: 34:20

coaches could be under a lot of stress as well, or, yeah,

Max Rooke: 34:23

some of the staff so talking about to me personally, to make to me personally to coaches come and talk, yeah, I mean, I think that's the view of it. I think that's, that's actually, I'm, I'm appreciate saying that, because I think that that is something that I have, definitely a pattern that I've seen, and I'm, and I'm kind of moving into a little bit in the sense of So, much of my work has been about like helping athletes, helping you know, younger players, college players, pro athletes, whatever it's going to be, but, but now I'm seeing that there's not a lot of support for coaches, and so that some of the, some of the some of the conversations I'm having with coaches, it is helping me to see I'm like. Uh, man, there's a void there. And so I am beginning that process of taking it upon myself to start to create things that can, you know, opportunities, masterminds, groups, whatever it's going to be, like, ways in which I can support coaches, because that is a you're, you're, you're spot on. You know, like so much of so much of what we do, like, if somebody goes to an event, it's like, hey, I want to learn this. I want, I want to learn this. I want, I want to go to this seminar and stuff like that. But what are they really doing? They're really doing it so they can take it back and they can give it to their players. It's like, how much of our development is based around personal development for coaches, right? How do we, how do we show up and be a better better human, a better leader, a better husband, right? So that we can, so that we can also then be that for our team. And so, yeah, so that is, that is a void, you know, then I think it could be lonely. I mean, that's the other thing I think I'm seeing too. I just, mean, just men to men. I'm like, as connected as sports is, and it's connected as team sports is, if you're at the top of the chain. It can be awfully lonely, you know? Can be awfully lonely. Who do you go to? If you're the top, you're Nick Saban, you're the top, and everybody's looking at you. Who do you go to when you need, when you need something, you know, I'm saying, and unless you have an inner circle or support group or whatever it's going to be to help you with that then. So that's, that's, that's, that makes sense. That's what I'm kind of leaning into a little bit more. And I'm some of the conversation I'm hearing is like, coaches need as much as players, you know, in terms of the mental, mental side, the emotional, all of those things.

Dr. Spencer Baron: 36:35

Yeah, I imagine, you know, the coaches need a coach, and every once in a while, guide them through, because it can get pretty rough at the top. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's interesting. Actually, the pro guys, they hire mental toughness coaches or, you know, they call them different things at that level, and I'll never forget a pitcher the Philadelphia no anyway he was, it was a big time pitcher, Cole Hamels, and he told me once he hired a mental conditioning or mental toughness coach. Now this is a guy at the top of his game, but he needed somebody. And there was such an elementary comment that he I go, I go, well, what could your coach teach you? And he said, and this goes back to something you mentioned a while in the beginning of our conversations, to really define what you want, you know, define that goal. And he goes. The coach simply asked him, he goes, or the psychologist or therapist, mental toughness coach asked him, he goes, so what? What are you throwing at when you're looking to when you're looking to strike out a batter? He goes, the question is that you got this big box that you know, you want to get the ball in there somewhere, you know, to strike the guy out. And you get and the coach goes, Why would you do that? Why don't you just aim for the catcher's mitt? And I go, and he it was like revelation to him, yeah, yeah. Now you go from this big box to now, and you think you're, you're, you're hitting strike, you're throwing strikes. You are, but now you've reduced your level of error, because now your target got this small. Yeah, that was, I love that. That was like an epiphany for a guy at that level. So

Unknown: 38:38

right, yeah, I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I've got a quick, quick story, if I share a story, no, Terry, how

Max Rooke: 38:55

have you been at Peppa? I mean, how long you

Dr. Terry Weyman: 38:57

been? I got there in 2006

Max Rooke: 38:59

two and 6k. So that, do you remember? Do you remember a girl named, or lady now named brevisali? She played in 2000 and, goodness me, probably 14. 2014 2015 2016 when we won, we went to WCC with Lynn Williams. Lynn Williams on the national team. Now, she just got, she just captained the national team. Lynn Williams, so I got to, got to work with that amazing so proud of her. You know, we got a lot of girls that don't play in the pros and stuff, but Bri Vasari, so Brita Sally, played with Lynn back in 2014 sweet 16. We went. We won back to back championships in 2016 2017, that was kind of like my first four years of Pepperdine.

Dr. Terry Weyman: 39:37

I haven't lost my office from that year. There you go. There you go. Right. So to breathe

Max Rooke: 39:41

aside, if you make she was itty bitty, right? I mean, like, That's English small, right? Itty bitty, like she is, she is Eb, and she's got, like, the old Italian fire in her right? So she's like, half Italian, half half English. And so she comes in as a freshman, okay, and she won't mind me sharing this, but because I've already, you know, spoken to her, you. And said, like, anytime I if I have something like this, do you mind if I share your story? She said, feel free. So this one particular time, she's a freshman, she comes in. She's like, Hey, Coach, Max. She's like, Can I meet with you? I said, Sure, no problem. Let's go. So she goes, come by the office. I was like, alright, so she comes by the office. She said, Max. She's like, I'd love it if you could be my coach. And I'm like, Well, I am your coach. Like, I'm the coach of Pepperdine. You play for peppermint. But she said, No, no, no, no. Like, you're that the Guru, the mental guru stuff. Like, I need some like, mental stuff. Like, I'm like, All right. She's like, I heard you do that. And I'm like, All right. So I was like, okay, so I sit down, and this is going back to you. Dr Spencer's, like, I said, What do you want? I said, What do you want? You know, this is little 18 year old freshman, little itty bitty breather, Sally. She comes in, by the way, you know what she who she used to play for in club, the Red Hot Chili Peppers. The Red Hot Chili Peppers, you know, there's all these, like, top ECNL teams, and like, like the top teams in the country. We just got back from an event like Coach ECNL playoffs, the best players in the country. She was on this little rinky dink, like, red hot chili pepper team, like, you know, I'm saying, like, she just came out the middle of nowhere. So that's one of the beautiful things too. Is, is, you know, where we find these players is incredible. That's a whole nother story is about, like, you know, sometimes you go to these top events, but sometimes you can find somebody, like a Brie in the middle of nowhere, and she comes in, completely transforms your program. Lynn Williams at Fresno, nobody recruited Lynn, and Lynn is now just captain the national team. Incredible stories, right? So she comes in. I said, All right, look, get on my whiteboard, right? What you want? So she gets on the whiteboard. She writes, okay, this is what I want. She goes, I want to be the best player on the team. I want to be the top goal scorer on the team. I want to be the WCC Player of the Year. I want to be an All American. I want to go pro, and I want to go pro, and I want to play on the US national team, and I looked on, like, like, just that, you know, I'm saying, like, you're a freshman, your 18 comes in. I never, haven't played a game yet. Pepperon, I'm like, like, just that. But I really, like, in it. I like, loved it, you know, I love the the sort of, the the hunger and the fire that I saw in her eyes. She's like, she just, she wanted it all, you know. But I was like, it took a little bit, it took a little guts to kind of write something that big on the board, right? So I'm like, All right, so let's get to work. So she comes out, and she starts playing her freshman year. We go to the Sweet 16. She does and she's a part of it. She's starting as a freshman. She's doing great. Get to the end of the year. How do you think the season went? Oh god, it sucked. I can't believe it. Like I didn't, I didn't make the all conference team. I can't believe it. And I'm like, Bree, you just, you were awesome. We just went to the Sweet 16, and one of the best seasons in Pepin history. That sucked. And I'm like, okay, so we get to a sophomore year, and then she does really well again, right? And then she finally makes the all conference team. Hey, Bre, how do you how do you think? How do you think this year? Oh, my God, it sucks. Calmly, I wasn't the player of the year. I should have been the player. Yeah, only all conference. I'm like, Bri I'm like, You were amazing. Like, you serious? So we had this back and forth, right? Junior year we win the conference. How do you think? Oh, well, you know, she, she was the one. She was the one she got invited to National Camp. I only won the WCC and with this whole thing, right? So I'm going back so fellas, help him on this. I'm trying to this full, full circle moment, meaning, right? Meaning she is having this extraordinary career, but she's so focused right on what she wants, and that's that, that little balance between, it's so important to know what you want. And I love that big box and then kind of little box, right? That's a dance in England, by the way, big box, little box. You go to the clubs you do big box, little box. That's a whole dance. But anyways, I digress. That's a different story. So big box, little box, right? So it's important to, like, narrow your focus, but sometimes you can get so focused on that that you miss so many other things. So it got to the end of a junior year, and she came into my office and she's like, Coach, I just, I just don't feel like it's happening for me. I just, I said, Okay. I was like, so let me write my new goals on the board. I said, Bree, don't pick up the pen. I said, we're done. I said, don't pick up the pen. She's like, why not? I said, Look. I said, I'm tired of this. Three years you've been telling me what you want and making excuses as to why it hasn't happened, telling me about she beat you to this, and she beat you to that. We won the WCC, but it wasn't about us. It was about you and and this is not to to say anything, but like, she has a sweet sweetheart, but we made one change. Dr Spencer, like you talking about the way one change, I said, Bree, why don't you sing a year instead of focusing on what you want, why don't we focus on who you need to be together? And let's just direct all of our focus. So go back to what we said about stay about state and energy. I say where focus goes, energy flows. What you focus on, you're going to feel what you're focused on, you're going to get more what if we just took all that energy and instead of putting into what you want? What if we just grabbed it and let's put concert effort into figuring out who you need to be together, right that identity piece? I. Yeah, and let's just take what you want and just put it on the side, put on the put it on the side, put on the mantelpiece. You know, it's there, right? We know what you want because you've been saying it for three years, but let's just put it on the side, just for a minute. And so then we create a different type of plan. And there was a plan about the type of person she needed to become, and little things that had happened, she came in earlier. She would come early for practice. She would stay after practice. She became a much more incredible leader. She wasn't her energy wasn't about her. Then it was about, how can I serve my team instead of being the top goal scorers? About how could I assist my players? How could I be a much better assist person? How could i How could I serve my team and just her everything about who she was. And by the way, this is not me. This is this is all her. This is not me. I just simply just challenged her to think a little differently, and everything about her energy and her aura changed. And three months later, Dr, you know how long our seasons are, it's a pretty quick season. Three months later, at the end of that season, she was the best player in our team. She was the top goal scorer on our team. She was the WCC Player of the Year. She was an all American right. After we finished season, we went, she went to the convention. She got drafted into the end of herself. And then after she got drafted, she then went over to England and played in England and played in the FA Cup Final, front of 70,000 people, against Manchester City in Wembley, which is like, one of my all time favorite stadiums, and after getting drafted, the US national team called her up and invited her into the 21 camp. And I'm like, everything changed like that. And I only say that because it's like, there's these, these little things that can make a big difference. And what you're saying, right? Spencer, it's like, it's just a change in perspective. It's just shifting what something means in your life, right? And again, I say that was not me, but I just she was spent so much time focusing on what she wanted that she was her own worst enemy, you know, I'm saying she was the one. She was her own roadblock, you know. And soon as she got out of her own way, and she said, Okay, who can I serve? Who can I help? How can I be grateful for these opportunities? You know? I'm saying like before, and I'm like, hey, you know, great job. She's like, it sucked. I wasn't the player of the year. I was only all conference. Well, it's good to want more, is it in a lot of high performance. But I don't also think we're grateful enough. One of the things we do at Pepperdine is we try and be so grateful for everything, right? Grateful for the highs and the lows, the good and the bad, the rough and the smooth, the things that we want and the things that we don't want. You know, and when you can be grateful for everything in your life, you realize, life, you realize that everything is happening for you and not to you, you know. And I know this is taking a little slightly different direction, but it's like, these are the things that when it comes back to like the human spirit is like, if we can just learn to take our mental capacity and frame it and focus it on things that can help us, not hers, then anything is possible, and it's simply just sometimes it's just these small things. And that was what it was for Bri and there's countless countless other stories I could share with about other players and other other things that have happened. But in that instance, it was simply just, don't focus on what you want focus on who you need to be, you know. And it sounds like it's the same thing, but it's not, you know, I'm saying it's just, it's just a redirection of focus and energy and, and you see it all the time, you know, see these success stories and things like that. And, and I'm always fascinated by that, how such a small shift can create such an extraordinary result, and how it can happen so quickly, you know, and you like, sometimes, I mean, I had this before. It's like, somebody's like, hey, it took, it took me five years to make a change. It didn't take you five years to make a change. It took you five years to decide to make the change. Once you actually had the breakthrough, took you a second to make the change. You know, that's, that's what I learned. Like it, and I, I've been my own worst enemy, too. So I know this isn't just like, you know, hyperbole. This is also learning from experience. There's things I want, and it's taken me years to get them, and I look back, I'm like, why did it take me so long? It's because I didn't make the decision until three years later. I should have made it three years earlier, but once I made the decision, it happened like in an instant. And so that's another thing, I think, is these, these things that we want, and sometimes we we struggle along the way so much to get I mean, we're like, oh, this is really hard. It's not hard. You just gotta get out your own way and make these small changes that can make extraordinary results. So anyways, sorry, I got, I got off. So I got off topic a little bit, but that was from what you said about the big box, right? Not the dancing in the clubs in England, but big box, little box, right? And that's, that's what came to mind with

Dr. Spencer Baron: 49:56

that there, that that is very relevant. For a lot of people, just even, even the non athletic folks, it's, you know, I speak to people all the time that you know, you know, as a chiropractor, as a doctor, you know, we're meant to inspire people they could be injured. You know, not. You know, exercising or having trouble even picking up their own kid at home. You know, little things that that mean a lot to them, but we are meant to inspire that person. But often times, when somebody comes in and their identity is tied to a certain level of performance or a certain perspective that they have, and they're not quite getting to that. They don't realize how good they actually are. And I like when you, you reframed everything for her, yeah, which is probably what you do for a lot of others, too, pretty excited, maybe not achieving what they want to

Dr. Terry Weyman: 50:58

achieve. Hey, Max, I got a question for you,

Unknown: 51:01

parents.

Dr. Terry Weyman: 51:04

Parents are. It's like a double a sort, you know, we're, we're parents and and, yeah, there comes a point when you want to push your kid to get to the point where they get because, again, the undeveloped brain, and we're trying to push them because we see what they don't see. But there also comes a point where we become an anchor instead of a sale. And what do you what's what strategies do you have, not only for the parents side to learn and understand and to have trust, to back off, and the kids side, to have trust, to let that sale take it wherever it takes them. Yeah,

Max Rooke: 51:49

yeah, great, great question. I mean, so to quote Tim, he calls parents who got crazy love causes. What he calls it cause crazy love. He's like his parents have crazy love for their kids, and that crazy love comes out in a multitude of ways. You know, I do love this. I won't take, I won't take credit for this. This is something that that was that I that I've heard many a time. Bread Ledbetter is a great, great psychologist, and stuff like doing a lot of work with Becky Burley from Florida and stuff like that, the Florida Gators and stuff. But anyways, but he talks about this, which I think is amazing, is he says, and I've borrowed from this in terms of also creating, and I'll give, I'll give you the what I'm about to say about what he says, but it's like a lot of things that I also talk about challenge people talk about is ask better questions, right? So in life, so come back to, like, life to the max, a big part of that is you've got to ask better questions, right? I just created a journal like, I mean, I see, I think, I don't think anybody knows about it, but just coming out this summer, the end of summer, I have the book, but I also have a journal that's kind of coming out, and in there I've created these questions, because I think questions are the tool, a toolbox for life. You know, I'm saying like, one of the reasons people don't get what they want, or don't feel the emotions they want to feel, is because they don't ask the right questions. If you have to ask a bad question, you're going to get that answer right. And so if you ask a bad answer and you get have a bad answer, you're going to get bad results. It's like, you know, why do bad things always happen to me? Well, if you if you say that, you're presupposing, the bad things always happen to you. So what are you going to look for the bad things? Right? But it's like, you know, or something bad, or something a challenge comes your way, or something you don't want to say, Well, what else could this mean? Just by asking the question, what else could this mean, you're opening up the pathway right to then try and find a solution to what's happening, versus this sucks or this is not fair. You know, I'm saying so. Questions are such a great way. And I think that's a that's a big thing. So go back to Brad Lebe with parents. He's like, generally, and he's a basketball guy. He goes, when you get in the car with when a kid gets in the car with a parent, he's like, what is generally the two questions that you ask your kid when you're in the car, it's like, did you play and how many points did you score, or did you win? Did you win? Did you play and how many points did you score? So if those are the questions you ask and you conditioning your child to think that their value come back to value and identity is wrapped up in did you play? How many minutes did you play? Did your team win? And how many points did you score? How effective were you in the game? And like, he's saying, What if you asked a different question? Did you have fun? Did you enjoy yourself? Was there a challenge that you that you got excited? You know, I'm saying, like, it's just different questions. And so we add, we add to that pressure that these kids feel. Because, as a parent, you know, and I'm not a parent myself, feels like, sometimes you have 50 between my wife's team and my team. I said, You 30 kids and 20 kids. You come together. It's like, you know, and that's a big part of what we do. Like, God has a. Blessed us with kids, and so we've, we've talked about maybe adopting, but, but the point is, is that our whole life is centered around serving our teams. That's that's like our kids, right? And God's provided for us and will continue to provide us in abundance. But going back to kind of that parent role, it's like, if you're asking those questions, you're just adding to the pressure, because you're you're validating their worth through you only scored two points, you didn't play. Why didn't you play? Why does the coach not like you? Do not know I'm saying like you didn't win. Why didn't you win? And it's so gotta get good at asking better questions, and I can say that on those two scales. So Dr, Terry, for you, when you when you look at that, I would challenge parents to see, like, what questions are you asking your kids? Because whatever question you ask, you're going to get the answer to it. And if you ask a bad question, you're going to get a bad answer. If you ask a more empowering question, you're going to get more empowering answer, you know, and so encouraging parents to to be conscious of the things that they're asking their their kids to so that the kids can start to process, okay, well, if I did lose well, what could I do better next time? You know, and I think that's a really powerful thing. And again, that's Brad ledbet, who kind of brought that to my attention. And I've always that's always stuck with that. And I've just used the power of questions in a much, much in a similar way. But I can some of the stuff that kind of I do, and I love that. So

Dr. Terry Weyman: 56:26

yes, and on that note, you've got schools now. I mean, shoot, peppermint is a higher grand, right? So now you've got these schools that are so expensive, and maybe a family can't afford it, and they get a partial scholarship, or they're just selling everything to get the kid, and then the kid shows up and they're just underperforming. And now the stress of parents going, oh my god, I can't financially and and so now you're, I think you're dealing with stress parents too. If I'm if I'm right, you deal with stress parents for the parents for the parents, on the financial standpoint, understand money, where a kid, they may understand money, but they just know they come home there's a roof over their head, there's food on the plate, and they don't really get it yet, and they don't really understand especially with YouTubers and tiktokers Tell the oh, I made $5 million on this. This, this this real and and the kid doesn't understand the difference between $5,000,000.05 $1,000 right? And so you have this dichotomy of pressures and stresses. The kid goes, Oh, my God, I've got perform or, or my dad's gonna yell at me because he keeps talking about a lot of money. I mean, what's to break it down, what's some strategies that you tell both, that you tell these people how they get through this?

Max Rooke: 57:51

Well, the the thing that I think that has happened in the last couple of years, and again, I want to go back to to Tim, you know, I think if, if you love what you do, you love where you do it, and you love who you do it with, that is the greatest thing. So I've been a Pepperdine, maybe you could say the same doctor. It's why I've been a Pepperdine, right? And Dr Spencer, being in Florida, and doing I've been with the Marlins, and those three things, okay? And this has nothing to do with your question, right? But I'm gonna get to your question. But it's like, if you love what you do, you love what you love what you do, you love what you do, you love who you do with those three things. And working with Tim and Amber and Kevin, our whole staff, and everybody at Pepperdine with you as well, but Tim and I have been together now for 1112, years, and it's it's an incredible blessing to work with somebody like Tim ward. And I know, you know Tim, he is an incredible man, and his perspective on life and just sports and and coaching, and, you know, I have a funny story about how he even got to Pepperdine. Maybe that's, maybe that's for later, whatever. But, but, um, but what I was going to say is, is, the last couple of years, Tim has changed his his relationship with parents, because before he would be openly tell you this is, I used to keep parents at arm's length. He said, Do not talk to me. Do not come and talk to me. If you want to come talk to me, you're, I'm going to kick your kid off the team. You know, he's like, as a younger coach, he's like, we needed that separation, because I don't need that, you know, stuff from parents. And I don't need the yep, yep, yep, yep. And why this? And why that? He said, I don't need it. It's like so start the season, if you come knocking on my door, if I get an email from you, guess what? Your kids off the team. Know if ands or buts right, and there was this boundary, and that's changed last couple of years. He's like, Max. He's like to help parents understand the process that we are taking these young women through. We need to invite them into our world. We need to invite them in. We need to have more parent meetings. We need to have preseason meetings. We need we need to share with them our vision. We need for them to see exactly what we're doing. Max. You need to talk to them about all these reframing so our parents know that when, when it's tough for them, they're not going to go. When the players, they're not going to go to the parents and say, this sucks. It's not fair. The parents might come and say, what's happening. They say, It's okay, Mum, it's okay. Dad. It's not exactly how I want it right now, but I've got this, you know what I'm saying, and empowering our players to have that conversation with parents. And so part of it is we need to educate the parents on our process, and that is significantly changed in the last couple of years, from a very much a boundary type of linear type, boom, don't cross that boundary, to like, Hey, come on, let's let's do this. We're doing this thing together, players, coaches and parents, all together and and obviously, still, you know, there's certain conversations that we probably, you know, we want to limit, but the idea is, is that they need to understand what their, their their young, their young daughters are kind of going through, and that when it gets tough, they're going to be okay because they have a support group, or they have coaches that love them, that care for them, and sometimes we might intentionally make it hard for them, right? And you know this, right? You're you've been in the world of sports, you know, sometimes we have to make it harder, and why? So they can grow. That's a part of life, is we have to grow. How do you grow? You grow through tough things. So we have to intentionally make it tough. And when they're educated on that, then, you know, what happens? The amount of the amount of friction comes down, you know. So that has been a massive change for us. And

Dr. Spencer Baron: 1:01:32

it's interesting that, you know, we talk a lot about, we've spoken a lot about the kids in their sport. What I think is really important is that you are preparing them for the real world and life beyond school, beyond the shelter of having a coach, beyond the shelter of having their teammates being in a classroom. Now, you're in the real world. You're dealing with a boss. You have no idea who he is or she is going to be, and your teammates are now the other employees that may be. You know, great or not. You know, how do you is there a couple of things that you do to prepare them for that real world?

Max Rooke: 1:02:20

I mean, just, I think everything that we teach has has these, has these principles attached to them, you know, I think again, I go back to what I said before. I think the Soccer is the vehicle to teach life. And I think that we have a very clear vision on, you know, winning is obviously the point, but it's not our purpose. Our purpose is to develop women of character, right? Winning is the point. In terms of, we won the WCC last year, you know, we are one of the top ranked teams in the country. So in NCAA, in the periphery of our program, everybody looks at it, goes, winning is obviously the point, right? If it wasn't a point, we wouldn't step up. Doctor will be on the sideline with us. Like, you know, when we go to town and we go to what you see our girls, they compete, and they compete hard, you know, and they It is a beautiful thing to watch our girls, who are just beautiful young women inside, and then just shred it on the field, and to see them be competitive like warriors. It is, it is amazing. But we said, you know, you can be both. It's not an if it's not an and, or like, you'd be a nice person and then not be competitive. You can be competitive. And then you can also look your teammate in the eye and be like, hey, you know, great job. Like, so you can be competitive warriors. So that's a beautiful thing. And where I'm going with it is, is like that, obviously, then sets them up for life. So recently, man, I'm maybe it was, it wasn't this past semester. Maybe there's a semester, maybe in the last few months, whatever we had a we had a player, former player named Tara taramara. She came back to see Tim and I, and she played when Doctor Was it too. And, um, she's now in pharmaceutical cell. She comes back. She's like, uh, well, how you doing? She said, Coach, I am killing it. She's like, I am absolutely killing it right now. This is just like, she's got it so easy. She goes, is so easy. And we're like, What do you mean? She's like, Mac she's like, I'm the leading salesperson in our team. She's like, and all I do is exactly what I do at Pepperdine, show up on time, work hard and get it done. She's like, you'll be amazed at how many people show up late. They don't, you know, they're not willing to put in the extra time, they're not willing to pick up the phone, like, she goes, I'm literally doing everything that I used to do at Pepperdine, you know. And she's like, I just went from here to here to here, and now she's like, just, you know, but she's like, and she's like, but back, she's like, it's and it was her interpretation. She looked down, look at you guys, right? She's like, it's so easy, you know, just do what you're supposed to do. Like, and she's like, that's what life and I'm like, That's right. Because we prepared them for hard, we prepare them for tough, we prepare them for obstacles, we prepare them for challenges. We prepare them for when things get really tough, and, you know, and then when life presents you with that most. People, what do they do? They fought her. What is those the athletes, what do they do? They find a way. And so it's beautiful. So she came back, and it was her interpretation of it was just, I'm not even doing it justice, the way she looked at it. I never forget the way she looked to me. I'm like, it said, like, you know how Pictures speak 1000 words, type thing, her eyes. Her eyes said everything. I'm like, Yeah, you gotta go. Let's go. So that's awesome.

Dr. Spencer Baron: 1:05:22

That is a great story, and that is a good way to parlay into the fact that you often talk about living life to the max, and I think that's so appropriate for you. And you know, I love that you share your you know your value does not come from what you do, it comes from who you are, and I feel very strongly about that. That's obviously what that the girl that you were talking about is living, and we appreciate that, Max. We're nearing the end of the show, but we have to, because I think you're going to do really well with our rapid fire questions. We have five of them

Unknown: 1:06:02

now, all right, here we

Dr. Spencer Baron: 1:06:03

go. Now, when I say real well, because you sound like you're quick on your feet, you think fast. But here is the challenge. It's rapid fire, right? You have to answer it. You know, very, very short answer, quick. Okay,

Dr. Terry Weyman: 1:06:19

ready? Don't forget Spencer. He is originally from England, so you might have to slow it down a little bit.

Unknown: 1:06:27

I like it. I'm mentally preparing myself. Here we go.

Dr. Spencer Baron: 1:06:31

All right, my man question number one, you're part of a big concussion lawsuit now you you coach women's soccer. What is the one thing you try and get across to your athletes to avoid. The road to head injuries,

Max Rooke: 1:06:47

the road to the road heading what to avoid?

Dr. Spencer Baron: 1:06:50

What do you tell them to avoid? To Be careful of those head injuries. Get your arms up.

Max Rooke: 1:06:57

Get your arms up, because otherwise people had the ball like this. Get up, protect yourself.

Dr. Spencer Baron: 1:07:03

That's fantastic. I've never heard that. I

Max Rooke: 1:07:07

really women had the ball like this. Guys had the ball like this. Get your arms up, create separation, create create a dance space. That's rapid fire. I'm gonna stop. I'm supposed

Dr. Spencer Baron: 1:07:18

to get it's funny, because there was all this legislation the state of Florida.

Dr. Terry Weyman: 1:07:21

See, Spencer can't do rapid fire. He goes on to Kansas. Now he

Dr. Spencer Baron: 1:07:26

didn't say that I had to be rapid

Unknown: 1:07:30

fire. Fair point.

Dr. Spencer Baron: 1:07:34

They stopped doing. They stopped heading the ball for under 18. And yet, it was a study out in Denver that found that it's not the it's not heading the ball. It caused the concussion. It's the body blows that caused the head to or the head to head. Yeah, so this is beautiful. I've never Okay. Question number two, we'll talk

Max Rooke: 1:08:00

about this dirty dancing. Dirty Dancing. This is your dance space. This is my dance space, the old school movie. That's it. This is my space. That's your space. Get out of my space. Boom. I love it. Question number two,

Dr. Spencer Baron: 1:08:13

if you're familiar with Wim Hof, the instructor you you are him for those taking their first ice bath. What would you tell them to anticipate, panic, peace or power,

Max Rooke: 1:08:30

all three because you have to, what's the first one panic? You jump in. You're gonna you're gonna experience panic. What's the second one? Peace, peace. Think about peace. And then what's the third one, power. And then that will lead to power. All right, man, expect power. I mean, expect panic. Expect panic. Think about peace, and it will lead to power. Oh,

Dr. Spencer Baron: 1:08:52

that's beautiful. Question number three, biggest culture shock for you personally, coming from the AFL to Malibu, the way they talk,

Unknown: 1:09:07

except dude Seth. Dude says that

Max Rooke: 1:09:11

the the biggest, the biggest culture shock, oh, goodness me, I'm Johnny. Answer this quickly. Um, how everybody cares. And what I mean by that is, is there's a lifestyle. Lifestyle is, is a big thing, like just the amount of the lifestyle is, it's different. It's different. And if that makes sense, I might have to elaborate now, but this is quickfire, so no,

Dr. Spencer Baron: 1:09:37

no, it's funny because you're playing it safe, because you could just said that was a bad thing, or that for now. All right, man, question number four, ever had a max moment where you didn't live up to your own motto? And what was that?

Max Rooke: 1:09:55

All the time, all the time, I think, I think that there is a i. There is a we're humans. We're human, and the max moments are there to create pathways to see life in a better way. But the reality is, we're human, and everybody is going to falter at some point, and I will hold my hand up and say, the reason that I am doing what I'm doing I'm so passionate about it is because the first person I had to work on was myself. So, so I am the least perfect person on this on this call, you know I'm saying. And so those Max moments were designed because in some way I needed them as much as anybody else. So So I still fought them. And so in the book, there's 42 of them. So you say, which one? All 42 if I'm just being honest, you know, it's like, like I you know. So I think that there's, I think there's something to that is the honesty. We're human,

Dr. Spencer Baron: 1:10:53

we're constantly and never ending in our improvement. That's great answer. Thanks. Speaking of honesty and being authentic, your name is appropriately max. And you've, you know, come up with this great paradigm for yourself living to the max, you know. And all that is that your original name, or if you did have, because I knew a Maximilian who was a patient of mine, is that, is that your original name Maximilian, or

Max Rooke: 1:11:24

it is Maxwell? I'm gonna, I'm gonna ask, it's Maxwell, but I'm gonna ask for a a 22nd leeway to, yeah, to share one thing. Is that possible? I don't quick fire. These are the rules, right? So I don't

Unknown: 1:11:38

want to, don't break the rules, right? It's the last question, go for it. Man. So

Max Rooke: 1:11:42

everybody sees this the book, there is a red square and there's a red triangle in the max. There's two things on here. There's this and there's this. There's two things in the on this book. This is not for resale, because it's like the original, but it's like this and this and this, by design, people always ask me. They're like, why is there a red piece in the middle of the A my mum passed away six years ago. I dropped off at LAX. She came to visit with my dad. I dropped off at LAX. Gave her a hug. We planned the next trip. She won the airplane. Four days later, gold call. She had a heart attack, stroke, dead, and when she passed away, I never forget a story. When I was younger, she would always say to me, she'd be like, Max. She's like, I really had to fight hard to call you Max. She's like so many people at the time, back when I was like, young, she's like many people, they're like, because Max is not like, a popular name. She's like, you're gonna, you're gonna destroy his, his future by calling Max. He's gonna get bullied. He's gonna, it's like, it's not you. And she said, she said, I remember, forget it. She said, Max. I really had to fight hard to call you max, and there's something about you. You were always a max. I was like, and I never, I never got it. I never got it. And then when I started this journey of life to the max, I researched the definition of Mac and the Latin version of max is greatness. And so that's why every book, every program, everything that I have, has the name great in it. So it's max moments, the journey from good to great. It's the first step to greatness. The journey from good to great. Project greatness, like everything I talk about is, how do you go from good to great? And in large part, I'm doing this because of because of my mom and she saw something in me that I didn't see for myself, because she's like, she's like, you're meant to be a max. And I didn't know it when I'm, like, five, six years old, but now I know. And so my my hope is, is that I can pass that on to the next generation. And so that's why this means so much to me. You know, what I do is because I'm leaving that legacy, and I'm passing on what my mom saw in me. And so when I said at the beginning, I said I tried to see in people what other others can't see for themselves, that's because my mom saw in me, I think, at an early age, what I couldn't see for myself. So thank you for that little leeway.

Dr. Spencer Baron: 1:14:17

Great ending to this story. Max, you are great, man. That was that was sensational. Thank you and thank you for being on the show. I really

Max Rooke: 1:14:33

thank you for having

Dr. Spencer Baron: 1:14:37

me. Thank you for listening to today's episode of The cracking backs podcast, we hope you enjoyed it. Make sure you follow us on Instagram at track and backs podcast. Catch new episodes every Monday. See you next time you.