The Samantha Parker Show

Sober Holiday Tips

• Samantha Parker • Season 1 • Episode 35

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The holidays are a magical time, but they can also bring stress and pressure, especially when navigating alcohol-filled social events.

Remember, staying sober during the holiday season is entirely your choice. No one can force you to drink, and if someone does, you have the right to decline or even skip the event altogether. You’re an adult, and your sobriety is important.

Tips for Staying Sober this Holiday Season

  1. Reflect on Past Experiences: Whether it's an embarrassing memory or a painful hangover, use past experiences to remind yourself why you chose sobriety.
  2. Bring Your Own Drinks: Samantha advises bringing your own non-alcoholic beverages to social gatherings. "It's your own prerogative to have fun without the influence of alcohol," she says.
  3. Set Boundaries and Leave if Necessary: If a situation becomes uncomfortable or too tempting, it's okay to leave. "We're adults," she emphasizes. "You can make the decision not to attend or to leave early if it’s best for your sobriety."
  4. Surround Yourself with Support: Engage with other sober individuals, whether it's through AA meetings, social media communities, or sober podcasts. Samantha highlights the importance of finding a supportive community, noting that there are resources available everywhere—from TikTok to Audible books on sobriety.

Listen to the episode HUNGOVER HERE: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1836116/episodes/15292622-hungover

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 It's totally okay to go sober this holiday. There's no one out there holding a gun to your head saying that you have to drink. There are millions and millions and millions of people on this planet who don't drink. So stop feeling so ashamed of yourself and feel empowered of this choice that you made.

But if you guys are going into the holidays, you're feeling stressed and you don't want to drink, or maybe you want to like be more of a mindful drinker.

You're sober curious. You don't have to go into the holidays drunk as a flippant skunk.  You can have a lot of fun. That's like totally your own prerogative. I always think everyone should do everything, but I know for me personally, alcohol is a very slippery slope for me and that's why I don't drink friends.

 If you're here, I'm guessing that maybe you wanted to listen to some of my holiday sober tips and trust me, I've got them

 

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  📍 Hey guys, welcome to the Samantha Parker show. You know the drill. We are here to talk about all the crazy things, but mostly I was like, Hey, why don't we dive into holiday sober tips? I know that the holidays are hard. Okay. Like let's not sugarcoat it. They're hard, but they're fun and they're magical. And it's a little bit of like a game, right?

I'm like, I'm having so much fun. I'm loving seeing everyone, but at the same time, I'm like, it's a lot of extra pressure. Like we cannot lie about that.

And there's also a lot of extra like family activities mixed in and I just have to be 100 percent honest, alcohol is popping. It's flowing this time of year. And then we're going to go straight into the new year, which is basically a national holiday for champagne. I've attended a lot of New Year's parties where you were supposed to bring your very own bottle per person  to pop at midnight.

 And let me tell you, it did not end well. In fact, the one party I'm particularly thinking of, it was in downtown Salt Lake City. And I remember right at New Year's, we couldn't find my husband anywhere. And I found him passed out face down in the snow. So I don't think everyone needs their own bottle of champagne. 

But let's back it up for a second and let's talk about this holiday coming up, Christmas. So I'm just dropping this episode on Sunday. It is the Sunday before the biggest holiday of American history. What? That didn't make any sense at all, but this is the biggest holiday in the US, correct? I hope so. I could just be making things up, but to me, it feels like it has the most preparation going on.

In fact, every year I get my Christmas cold sore and it's so weird. It's I got to probably do a little bit of a deep. Energy dive on this one because  they say the body always keeps score, but no matter how stressed or not stressed I am on Christmas, I will get this cold sore. I was just at the dentist this morning and she was like, do you get a lot of cold sores?

And I'm like, no, I get this one every year. In fact, I think it was my sister who mentioned, Oh, I see your Christmas cold sore is back. Or it might've been my husband, or it was probably both of them because that's how iconic this Christmas cold sore is. But if you guys are going into the holidays, you're feeling stressed and you don't want to drink, or maybe you want to like be more of a mindful drinker.

You're sober curious. That's what they call it, which is kind of an interesting phrase. whatever it is. You don't have to go into the holidays drunk as a flippant skunk.  You can have a lot of fun. That's like totally your own prerogative. I always think everyone should do everything, but I know for me personally, alcohol is a very slippery slope for me and that's why I don't drink friends.

And if you're here, I'm guessing that maybe you wanted to listen to some of my holiday sober tips and trust me, I've got them. And I think one big thing that really actually helps me stay sober is I remember all of the holidays that were an absolute joke because I cannot, I'm air quoting here, I cannot handle my alcohol.

And there was multiple Christmases where the day after Christmas, especially, I was super embarrassed. Had to do the apologies. Don't remember Christmas night. And there was a lot of those in front of like, you know, my whole family as well, not to mention my kids. It wasn't like I was just, blackout drunk in my own home and my lazy boy, all alone, taking poles off some cheap ass vodka bottle.

No, I was publicly displaying my drunkness as always. There were so many Christmases where I was also just super hungover, like hungover AF because Christmas Eve, I overdrink at home. Or when I was in my twenties and I was super festive, we used to go to this bar downtown.

I'm trying to think of what it was. It's an Irish bar. I had a lot of really fun times there for sure. A lot of shit shows for sure, but we used to go and we would go to this thing called happy birthday, baby Jesus. And I am not trying to disrespect any Christians out there 

but that's just like what we used to do. Okay. But basically we would go get wasted on Christmas Eve with our friends.  And then, obviously as I got older, had another kid, I was at home and I was still over drinking.  So there's been a lot of hangovers Christmas day and especially a lot the day after Christmas.

Okay. But this memory right here that I'm about to share with you is the one that really, really keeps me like, Locked into my sobriety, and this is something I've actually thought about a lot, like over the last seven months.  Yeah, that's right. Seven months sober. Okay. Sorry. A little side note there,  but over the last seven months, I've really hung on to this thought where if I take out the middle, this is how drinking looks for me.

I have a drink of wine. I end up with a black eye at Christmas. Okay. Now hear me out. Like, how do I get to that conclusion? Cause you're like, that's probably a little dramatic, but this is how it works. Okay. I could definitely show up on Christmas day and enjoy one mimosa. I could do that.

It would be a lot of internal mental work. I would have to be like, okay, we're only having one drink, one drink, one drink, one drink. My obsessive mind would kick in. I am a total addict towards alcohol and I would spiral, but I know that I could do it. Like if I had to absolutely only have one drink, I could do it.

And then the next day I would be like, Oh my gosh, I only had that one drink on Christmas. You know, maybe I even held out to new years.  And I was like, Oh, remember how you could, you could have one drink on New Year's. And so New Year's, I would probably have two, but let's not lie. I would actually have three because I know how I am.

I, every time we go out to dinner, I'll be like, I'm only having two glasses of wine. I'm going to end up having three. And sometimes I would talk myself into four, but that's just how it works for me. It is a slippery slope. And then the next thing I know, I'm blackout drunk and I've got a black eye. So I actually did spend one Christmas with a giant black guy.

You guys, that's how I get to this conclusion. You know, I think about having the one drink and then I skip out all that time, all that energy, all that struggle in between. And I'm like one drink, I'm taking the middle, I'm shortening it here. I learned this from my sponsor. She's helped me so much. Um, but I am shortening it. 

And I'm like one drink, black eye at Christmas. So one year, it was actually 10 years ago, so 10 Christmases ago, when I was 29, because I'm now 39, you know, look at that, you guys, I did math. I did math there in whole numbers.

I don't think you should drink bubbly and record podcasts.  I drink a little too much carbonation today while I take another sip of bubbly.

But, okay, anyways, back to my story, I attended an ugly Christmas party, which was actually super fun. And again, you guys, this is no shade to anybody who still drinks, no one who was at that party. I'm just telling you my own experiences and like what ultimately led me an entire decade later to be like, I don't want to drink anymore.

But so we went to this ugly sweater party and I thought it would be so funny to show up in a BYU sweater. So if you're not familiar with this area. Why is a BYU sweater funny? Well, I am in Utah, so that's Brigham Young University. And it is known for having a particular religion and some particular rules.

And it's pretty interesting. Okay. It's a Mormon college  and it's just funny. Most people like aren't BYU fans necessarily. Most people are the university of Utah fans. So they're, you. Ute fans. That's like UUTE, like the Native American tribe. Actually, funny story, I live on Ute Road as well, but most people are U Ute fans, and so I knew it was gonna be funny to show up in this BYU sweater at some point during the nights.

It got like rowdy rowdy. People got like shmamored. And I do remember that someone cut the sweater off me and threw it over into the neighbor's yard. But that's like about all I remember, to be honest. I can remember having some shots and then the rest of the night is just like a giant blur.  I don't really remember any of it until I woke up the next morning and my bed at home.

But what happened was it turns out, you know, I got blackout drunk,  and at some point I fell on my head and I got a giant like hematoma. In fact, I still have, like I can feel it, this little skull fracture right here. Like that's how hard, like I hit my head. I was so sick for so many days, like I can't even tell you the amount of pain I was in, the amount of pressure in my head.

And at that time, I remember, I remember looking up on my phone, you know, Google on her phone wasn't as great back then, but it was still there, like how to join AA or what AA is. And I remember a family member talks me out of it. They were like, you just over drank. I had a cold, so I'd also taken cold medicine, you know, didn't eat enough.

Like all those things people say, and they're like, just be careful next time. But you guys, I had to walk around with this giant, like picture, like. The top right side of my head here, this giant bruise, and as bruises on your face do, especially head injuries, they slowly traveled downwards. So by Christmas day, it was my whole eye.

You know, the side of my cheek here was a giant, like, It's like fucking bruise. And it was so embarrassing. And I remember showing up to work the next day too. And my boss was like, yeah, that's not pretty, you know? So not only I had that, but then I had to go through the Christmas holiday with that because I remember this party was the weekend before the holidays.

So I still had to go to work Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or whatever, you know, leading up till Christmas. And then going up to my grandparents, I remember just being absolutely humiliated. And I do remember. I didn't drink from that party until I remember it was my stepdad's birthday. And at that point too, I was like, I'm not going to drink anymore.

And my stepdad's birthday is at the very first of January. So I mean, I think I made it like 10 whole days.  And then just went right back into the spiral.  But that memory still like haunts me, haunts me to this day. So when I think about the holidays coming up, I think about being absolutely mortified if I was to go back down the path.

And it's really easy for me to go down that path. When I stopped drinking in May, I had hit like that level of drunkness again.  We can get into that another day. In fact, you can go back and listen to past episodes. The episode I really recommend is hung over, where I do go into like full detail. I, maybe not full detail, but it's a huge, like, it was me coming out of my sober closet and saying like, look, I'm an alcoholic and this is really embarrassing.

So you can go back and listen to that. But that memory is really. Like so ingrained in me, like right now I'm like, there's no effing way I would drink over the holidays. Okay. And you might be like, Hey Sam, I don't have a memory like that to hold on to, but I mean, think about like the embarrassment, think about the hangovers, like, you know, over drinking and for us alcoholics, even one drink.

And I'm not saying you're an alcoholic. I'm just, you know, I'm just like using words here. I'm not giving you a label. You got to label yourself. Only you knows what's best for you. Okay, I'm going to sip my bubbly again. Out of my new cup, I just got these cup maids for myself in my mocktail era. And it is like adorable. It's adorable. If you're watching on YouTube, you can see it. If you're listening, I'm going to actually post this on my Instagram very, very soon.  Cause it's so cute. I had it custom made for me.

Maybe we should make it a thing. Maybe we need shirts. Maybe we need matching jackets in my mocktail era. But anyways, back to my tips, I know that you have some kind of memory where you're like, I don't want to repeat that, especially during the holidays. And I think that's something really great to visit.

You can remember what a dumb ass you've been in the past and it helps you stay sober or you know, wherever you're at. Maybe you're just sober curious. You want to cut back this holidays. This holidays. Is that a full sentence? I bet if we ran this through Grammarly, it would look like the biggest hot mess train wreck we have ever done seen.

We have ever seen, I do know English.  In fact, it's the only language I know. Shout out to all you amazing bilingual people. I took like six years of Spanish, but I took it from seventh grade to 12th grade. And I still am like, I have no idea. I have no idea, but obviously I didn't get to use it.

So maybe that's part of it is like, you have to be able to use it.  Okay. Anyways, staying sober this holiday season, you can always go to all of these parties and all of these events with your own drinks. Like I a hundred percent take my own drinks. I know in a lot of places there's always like water, like, you know, people always have water out, but I know I'm going to be going to a party on Christmas Eve where the booze will be flowing.

And I'm really, I'm not bothered by it. I'm just at this point in my sobriety where I'm like, I'm not bothered by it. If for some reason I was like really, really struggling with it, I would just. Leave, or I would like go for a walk. I could go for a drive, you know, it's kind of cold and I'm sober, so I can drive.

I would just kind of remove myself from the situation for a little bit. I might go sit in the bathroom.  I might like scroll some TikTok, like, you know, just like do my own like zone out for a minute and then I would come back. But if I was really, really going to be triggered by it, I just wouldn't attend.

Like, we're fucking adults. If I say like, Hey, I'm not going to make it tonight. That's my own decision to make. You're an adult, even if it's like your mom's house and you're like, Hey, like my sobriety is more important. And even if she doesn't understand, like you're a flippin adult.  I don't know who it is for you.

My mom would totally understand. Shout out mom. Hopefully she does not listen to these podcasts. Or maybe, hopefully she does. I don't know. That was a no judgment comment.  We're going to take that back. Note to my podcast editor. No, just kidding. We'll totally leave it.  But really, you guys, you're an adult. Do what you need to do to stay sober.

But anyways, back to that party, I will take my own drinks. Like I will just take my own beverages. And it's not like I'm going to walk in with like an armful of bubblies. Actually, I might, because I'm to the point again, where my give effects are pretty low and nobody's going to care. Like someone might be like, Hey, can I have one of those?

That's the thing is we think that everybody cares that we're not drinking. And you know, there's going to be those few outlier situations, but everything that I've encountered. It is them. Like they're judging themselves. They're worried about their own bodies. And if they're worried about mine, like that's still a reflection of them.

If they're worried about me, not putting a toxin in my body and me not doing what's best for me,  they got some soul searching to do.  And that's the attitude you need to approach it with. We are even having a holiday party. And when this drops, we'll have already had our holiday party. We hosted a big party last year.

It got turned up. Super, super fun. And I still plan on it being just that level, whatever drinks people bring, they're going to bring. I personally, like I won't go out to the liquor store and purchase drinks. I'm sure my husband will have some whiskey or some rum, like whatever he wants to drink that night.

And I know people will show up with drinks and I don't care.  I had a friend asked me about it and I was like, Hey, I'm going to like, have my own beverages there. Always BYOB. And she was like, for sure. And I'm like, what? For sure. Like me, not drinking is about me, not about what everyone else is doing.  Of course I do love, like the other night I got the opportunity to go out with a group of friends and the majority of them weren't drinking.

They were ordering mocktails and I was like, I like this. I like this a lot, you know? But for me personally, I'm not triggered by the presence of alcohol.  And it's taken me, seven months to get there. Really, I would say like the first three months was what was really, really hard for me.

And now I'm like, I'm just living my best life. I feel like I'm the one who's flexing on everyone else. You know, I'm not walking around being like, ha, ha, ha, look at me or anything like that. But I do get a little giddy when I'm like, I sure do feel good. I sure don't have to take an Uber home or, you know, whatever it is.

But honestly, at the end of the day, I don't have judgment for people to drink at all. Like there might be like a little bit of jealousy still going on where I'm I just wish I could have a drink like that, you know? Um, but God, I don't know if there even is, like, to be honest, I just have to tell you guys, like, I feel so happy and so whole  and I love it.

You know, another way to get through the holidays to sober is, you know, to kind of surround yourself with other sober people. I go to AA and this is something they talk about a lot at AA. And I know sometimes people immediately like want to shut down as soon as like I bring up AA, but like, just hear me out.

It is like such a safe space and it is such an amazing experience. And there's a reason why people get like, so into it. And honestly, I have nothing but great things to say. Like if I could leave a Google review, I would be like 10 million out of 10 out of 10. Must attend. Best thing I ever did in my life.

But, you know, if you're struggling right now and it's the holiday season, there's AA meetings like every single day. I went to a couple extra AA meetings last week. I was feeling itchy. I don't know how else to describe it. Like I just get kind of itchy. I get a little irritated. I've noticed on Sunday mornings, I get a little bit of an attitude and I'm just like, I don't know what to do with myself.

And so I've been going to. Like some extra meetings, you know, especially when I feel that way. So if you're feeling just like a little bit irritated, because you definitely do go through phases of anger in your  sobriety journey, for sure. Especially in recovery.  I flip a note that I have for sure.

So surround yourself with people, you know, if you can't go to an AA meeting, or if you're like, absolutely not. Dude, get on Tik Tok, go watch my Tik Toks, the Samantha Parker show. I talk about sobriety nonstop over there. There's so many people talking about it. You know, grab a podcast, download an audible book.

The book I love the most is Sober ish. That one has stuck with me like through everything, you know, like just fill your space and your awareness with resources. They're out there for you. And you guys, I'm just going to wrap this up by telling you it's totally okay to go sober this holiday.

There's no one out there holding a gun to your head saying that you have to drink. There are millions and millions and millions of people on this planet who don't drink. I live in Utah. The eldest religion does not drink. So it's like, I know tons of people who don't drink. So stop feeling so ashamed of yourself and feel empowered of this choice that you made.

All right guys, I will see you next week and I hope you guys all have an amazing, safe, beautiful Christmas season sprinkled with whatever the hell you need.