Mastering Buyer Psychology: Do's and Don'ts for Securing Meetings | SOS Ep. 373

Ever wonder why your meeting requests keep getting ignored? In this eye-opening episode, I pull back the curtain on what really happens when you pitch a potential buyer and why most approaches fail miserably. Drawing on my experience of receiving 10-12 pitches daily, I break down the psychology behind why the same boring templates and self-centered approaches get immediately dismissed.

The truth is startling but simple: nobody cares that you're trying to hit your quota. Decision-makers calculate their time's worth in hundreds of dollars per hour and are naturally skeptical after past disappointments. When you ask for a "quick 15-minute call," they're mentally translating that to 30+ minutes and asking, "Is this worth $200+ of my time?" Without establishing credibility and differentiating yourself first, the answer is almost always no.

I share practical strategies for standing out from the crowd by flipping the traditional approach. Instead of asking for time upfront, start by depositing value—share insights, provide unexpected help, or demonstrate you've done your homework. Connect every meeting request to a specific, better outcome for the buyer. Ask questions that make them stop and think, disrupting their automatic filters. Most importantly, meet them on their terms, not yours.

The modern sales landscape demands a consultant mindset rather than product-pushing. Focus entirely on the buyer's future state and how your solution creates meaningful improvement from their current situation. This investment-first approach not only increases your chances of securing meetings but builds the trust foundation necessary for successful, long-term relationships.

Ready to transform your approach? DM me on LinkedIn or email mike@survivingoutsidesales.com for a free 30-minute consultation where we can discuss specific strategies tailored to your situation.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Pitching Problems
• 3:42 Understanding Buyer Psychology
• 9:30 The Do's and Don'ts
• 15:12 Grabbing Attention Effectively
• 19:38 Meeting on Their Terms
• 22:20 Creating Value and Future Focus

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Surviving Outside Sales podcast, hosted by Mike O'Kelley, presented by Sales Builder Academy. The goal is to survive and thrive all phases of outside sales, whether you're getting in, dominating or getting out. Surviving Outside Sales now on with the show. Welcome to the Surviving Outside Sales Podcast. I'm your host, mike O'Kelley.

Speaker 1: 0:34

Today's topic is going to be the do's and don'ts of getting the meeting with the buyer. Now I get pitched probably 10 to 12 times per day on average and I see the good, the bad and the ugly and very rarely does anything rise above the level to where I want to actually meet with that person or is intriguing. It really is sad that I can tell the the pitch verse I like to call it. The pitch verse is using templates, or perhaps everybody's using the same chat GPT to try to craft emails and book meetings and they say, well, it's all about volume and all that stuff. And I get it. It is about volume. You have to meet enough people, you have to talk to enough people in order for the law of averages to wait out. You could be over 10 with trying to book a meeting and if you give up then you'll never fulfill what you were trying to achieve. But you could go three for your next three, for your next three, and you're now three for 13. And now the law of averages starts to balance out, and that's what it is, and that's the whole theory. Quote unquote behind volume. But it's not volume for volume sake.

Speaker 1: 1:49

I have. I can pull up emails, I can pull up DMS from LinkedIn. I can pull up a text messages that I receive because my phone number is out there If you search hard enough and I get. I get pitched all the time, all the time, and it's just the same. I'm just going to say it it's the same boring shit, it's the same bullshit. It's a waste of my time to even look at it. And so what happens is in your buyer's mind. You could have the best product in the service and service in the world. You could be a great person, you could really be trying to change people's lives, but you're going to be lumped in to everybody else if you sound like everyone else and some of them, some of them are just lazy, and the example that I give is just, quite frankly, this is my product. This is what we can do. I would love to set up a meeting and discuss how we can do this for you.

Speaker 1: 2:43

Now, on the surface, it sounds like, yeah, it's, there's nothing wrong with that. But you have to understand the psychology of the buyer. You have to understand that they are uh, your buyer is getting pitched hundreds of times per month by random strangers. So if you're a stranger, then you're going to be lumped in with everybody else. So you have to do something different. You have to have a different strategy. You have to have a different approach. That is the only way it's going to happen. And it's also probably not going to happen on one email. It's not going to happen on one text message. It's not going to happen on one face-to-face call. It is a series of events.

Speaker 1: 3:41

You have to invest in your buyer in order for them to want to start to invest in you or invest their time with you. And you have to start thinking of it like that. You have to strategize that. It is about investment. They are investing time, which is money to them, in order to listen to you, et cetera. They don't want coffee. They can buy their own, okay, unless they know you, they don't want coffee.

Speaker 1: 4:13

You know there is no such thing as a quick 15 minute call, okay. There is no such thing in the buyer's mind. Think of it this way here's the algorithm of the buyer. Okay, you, you, you. You're trying to be as fair as possible and I get it. I've seen both sides of the coin, being a sales professional and also being a business owner. You're trying to get time, you're trying to minimize the amount of investment, but you have to understand most of the meetings in the world realistically go over time. There is no such thing as a 15 minute call. There isn't in the buyer's mind. They're thinking, okay, 15 minutes is probably going to be 30, 35 minutes. When do I have 30 minutes? Do I really want to hear 30 minutes? And what happens is they start thinking of their time and everybody in their mind has a value to the hour. How much is my hour worth? So for some people you know some business owners it could be $500 an hour. If they're multimillion dollar, they're worth multimillion dollars. It could be $500 an hour. So if you're just taking 15 minutes of their time, it's $125. But in their mind they're thinking, okay, this is gonna be at least 250. Is this person, is this person, worth my time?

Speaker 1: 5:32

I get emails from people that don't even have signatures in their email, like. They haven't even gone through the time. They're sending me emails through Gmail. They work through companies. They're sending me emails through Gmail. They haven't even invested in their business. What that tells me is either they're really early in what they're doing or they are just not investing in themselves, which means I don't trust it. And again, the three things you need in order for somebody to like you I'm sorry to buy from you is they need to know, like and trust you. And that third part is really key they have to like you. I'm sorry to buy from you is they need to know, like and trust you. And that third part is really key they have to trust you.

Speaker 1: 6:14

So if you don't have an at company or an at yourself, like my emails, come across Mike at surviving outside sales. That has a lot more credibility and I have a signature, an email signature, that has a lot more credibility than somebody that's just, you know, salesgrowthatgmailcom. If I sent you an email and I said, hey, I wanted to work with you, and it came from Mike at survivingoutsidesalescom or it came from salesgrowthatgmailcom, be honest, which one would you take seriously or more seriously? I know your answer. I've invested in doing that. So, right off the bat.

Speaker 1: 6:57

It starts off with the credibility, but you have to understand the psychology of the buyer and you have to understand what your buyer's desires are, what their time is worth. So you have to really cut through the noise and just sending a here's my product. This is why it's important. I'd love for you to, of course you'd love to get on a call. You're a salesperson, I'd love to sit down with you and of course, you would. What's in it for me as the buyer? You have to flip it around a one 80 and you have to think like the buyer. Why would I meet with Mike? What value is Mike bringing to the table? Am I going to learn something new? Am I going to possibly invest in something that's going to make me money? It's going to make my life easier, it's going to simplify what I'm doing in my business. And is it clearly defined on how we get from A to B? If that does not happen, however, you communicate that it could be in person, it could be email, it could be video, it could be a text message. Whatever it is just sending a message and saying, hey, we can do X, y, z, great, I've heard that a thousand times. And also here's another thing you have to think about Buyers have been sold before and it didn't work.

Speaker 1: 8:36

I am very skeptical Well, not very. I'm skeptical because I've invested close to vary. I'm skeptical because I've invested close to well, well over $50,000 of my own money in consultants and people that said I will get you from A to B. Some have, some haven't, so I'm always I know what to. I know what to ask for now and I know what to look for and what not to look for. I know what to ask for now and I know what to look for and what not to look for.

Speaker 1: 9:08

I don't just reach out to the very first person that reaches out to me. I wait, I wait, but that's the first thing is you have to understand your buyer. You have to understand your buyer when you send up your, when you, when you send out any communication or when you're talking to your buyer. You cannot focus on yourself. This is not about you. Nobody cares that you're trying to hit your number, nobody cares. You've got to do X, y or Z. Buyers don't care. Okay, buyers don't care. Okay, buyers don't care. They are solely focused on their business. So the do's and don'ts Don't come unprepared, do not send out a message or don't have a quote unquote, scripted opener that sounds like a company's talking point.

Speaker 1: 10:06

Don't be generic and boring. Don't ask for time if you haven't earned it. You have to deposit something in order to withdraw. You have to deposit information or value to your buyer before you can pull anything out. So, before you ask for time, try this Give information, give value, do something unexpected to help the buyer, cause I'm telling you, I get hundreds of pitches a month and I can tell that a lot of people have never looked at my website, they've never looked at my LinkedIn. They have. They know nothing about me. They just simply got my name off of a list and they just added it in for automation and it's going out to thousands of people because that's the quote unquote volume strategy. So the dues here's the dues. Here's what you should be doing.

Speaker 1: 11:17

Grabbing attention Number one grab attention should be doing. Grabbing attention Number one grab attention. You need to grab the attention of the person you're trying to sell to, and they need to really kind of be like wow, this person is different, this person is different. I got a. There's somebody that I'm connected with on LinkedIn and I got a video message. I got a video message from them and I haven't responded yet. I'm sorry, katie, I will respond shortly.

Speaker 1: 11:52

And I actually showed it to one of my students. I showed it, I shared my screen on our call and I showed it and I said this is what I'm talking about. This is different. She sent me a message on LinkedIn and the video said you know, hey, mike, I'm really been, I've really been impressed. I don't know, I remember what she said, but she gave a compliment. She said you know, I'd love to catch up at some point and I have known her, like we've been. You know, linkedin connected for a very long time. We know the same people, so it's not like this is a random person. But what she did was she used the power of video. She used the power of video to reach out and personalize it. It was a personalized message. Everything she said was specific to my journey. She gave me an update and then just said hey, if this makes sense, you know, let me know and we can talk. I'm not going to be able to help her because what she's asking I have no power control over.

Speaker 1: 13:03

Again, you have to understand that your buyer may not be the end point or it may not fit. So what you don't want to do is you don't want to uh, ruin a future relationship based on how you react today. You, if you're in the going to be in the same industry, you might need to call on that person. You might need to have that person as a buyer for a future product or service and you don't want them to roll their eyes when they get another message from you Full disclosure. About 10, 12 years ago, I was that guy sending all those emails out because I didn't realize how many emails were going out and I would send emails this is great, full product descriptions, I mean really just bombarded with information. And it rarely worked. And after about a couple months I was like you know what? I've tried it. I've tried a couple iterations of just, you know, pitching an email and it hasn't worked.

Speaker 1: 13:59

And buyer's fatigue is a real thing. Sometimes they're just tired of getting pitched, sometimes they're just tired of spending money and buying things. They need a break and sometimes they just want information Like what can you do to help them? What have you noticed about their business that they might not have been able to see? Because sometimes in the business world and when you own a business. When you're running a business, you can't see the forest through the trees. Trust me, I've been running a for just under two years, been running a wellness studio. Sometimes you can't see the forest through the trees and somebody can just point out hey, were you aware of this? No, I was not great. Well, now you are. Now there's no excuse, but that very rarely happens in the sales world for outreach.

Speaker 1: 14:51

So, number one, you got to grab attention and one of the ways to do that is not by asking yes or no questions. Come with something that stops your buyer in their tracks and they have to think about. That is the only way it's going to work. And I'll tell you what I mean by this. If you are asking yes or no question, are asking a yes or no question. Yes or no questions are very simple how was your day? Good, it's a reflex response. You don't want to ask questions where there is a reflex response. If you're doing that, it goes nowhere and it's not stopping what they're doing. They can do five things at the same time and give you a reflex response. What you want to do is stop them and make them think. If they stop and they think the brain has to focus on whatever it is they're thinking about. So if they're busy, or they're thinking about their kids, or they're thinking about the next patient, or the next case, or the next meeting, or you know the proposal, their next vacation, whatever it is, if they're thinking about anything but what you want them to think about, you've got to stop them in their tracks, and the best way to do that is to ask them something that makes them think, that gets away from their default setting How's your day? Good?

Speaker 1: 16:28

I always talk about sales being like dating. You know, if I walked up to a, if I walked up to a girl at a bar and I just said, hey, can I buy you a drink? How many other dudes have said that to her over her lifetime? Thousands. So all of a sudden she's like here we go again, just another guy. You have to do something different. I always say that my question.

Speaker 1: 16:58

I always asked one question when I met, met new people, when I first moved to Charlotte, and I said, hey, I've got a really important question. I'd like to ask you I'm kind of framing it hey, this is not just some random question what brought you to Charlotte and people just stop in their tracks. I would do this to guys. I would do this to girls. It also let me know a little bit about them.

Speaker 1: 17:17

Charlotte is a transient town. A lot of people have have moved here. There's very few born and raised, so that is a way that I grabbed people's attention and people would say, oh my gosh, that's a great question. Not many people ask that. Usually people say what do you do? Where do you live? In Charlotte, when I first got there, I was shocked at how many women would ask me what kind of car I drive but that's another talk for another day. But I asked a question that made them stop and think.

Speaker 1: 17:49

And when you do that, what happens is that allows you to get into the buyer's world, that allows you to connect with that person, because they've tuned everything out at that point, and then it gives you an opportunity to 100% focus on them. They've tuned everything out at that point and then it gives you an opportunity to a hundred percent focus on them and they can a hundred percent focus on you, and that's what it takes. It's the same thing in sales. If you walk up hey, how's your day going Terrible, where do you go from there. I hate getting on zoom calls when people are like how's your day going? And I said, do you want the honest answer or do you want the platitude? And they're like, well, I want the honest answer. I'm like it's terrible, the day has gone terribly. I had to fire another employee All of a sudden, like I don't want to know.

Speaker 1: 18:37

I don't want to rehash that we're on the meeting. Just tell me why we're here. Tell me why we're here and tell me how you can help make my life easier. You can make my job easier. You can make me more money. That's all buyers care about. Number one grab attention. Number two connect the reason for the meeting to a better outcome. That's the big why.

Speaker 1: 19:00

Why are we going to meet? What's the point If you don't have that locked in? And it's very specific to your buyer, it's very specific to your industry and it's very specific to your product or service why? Why are we going to do it? If you're not going to make my life easier, if you're not going to make me more money, if you're not going to make my life easier, if you're not going to make me more money, if you're not going to increase my client satisfaction, then why are we talking?

Speaker 1: 19:29

If I'm just swapping out and that's the thing too if I'm just swapping out one solution for another and there's a net neutral outcome, I'm not switching. I'm not, I'm not risking it. If, for instance, like right now, we have a phone line and you say, oh, you can use this phone line, it's about the same price, blah, blah, blah. Nope, I'm not switching. What's the benefit to me? There's no upside. There always has to be an upside for the buyer.

Speaker 1: 20:01

So, number one you grab attention. Number two what's the upside? You have to connect that with the buyer while you're asking them for that meeting. Number three meet them on their terms. Don't try to pigeonhole them. You know, I've seen the whole. Like I can meet these three times, great, I can't. If you do that and I know why people do it they say, oh, the buyer just wants it. No, if the if I said yes, let's then figure out a time that works. Or you can say I can meet at these three times, please let me know if one of these works. If not, I can work around your schedule. That's okay. But I've gotten emails before where I'm like sort of interested and I was like, okay, yeah, let's meet. And they're like I have these two time slots available, which one works for you? And I'm like neither, or I don't even respond. I'm just like you know what. We're already getting off on the wrong foot. Like you're trying to fit me into your schedule, like like you're doing me a favor.

Speaker 1: 21:12

So you have to think about the entire, the entire ask and the entire reason for the why of the buyer. Like why? Why would the buyer do it? Stop focusing on yourself. Focus exclusively. Would the buyer do it? Stop focusing on yourself. Focus exclusively on the buyer. Grab their attention, connect to a better outcome and meet them on their terms. And, before the meeting, dump value.

Speaker 1: 21:51

Hey, I was doing some research here. Thought you thought you'd find this information. Look forward to our call on Friday. Do something different as well. Send a video, send a text message or a video through text. Send a video email. If you're connected on LinkedIn, send a video. Don't ask for anything, just say hey, really looking forward to this. I've done some research on X, y, z. This is why it's important Hope you have a great day, see you Friday or whatever day. That is what it takes to move the needle in 2025.

Speaker 1: 22:28

If you're using the same playbook from 10, 15 years ago, five years ago, you're using the exact same playbook and you're not understanding the psychology, you're not understanding the buyer's needs and how they have changed. You're going to fall behind and I don't want that to happen. It's one of the reasons why in the sales builder accelerator and sales builder academy, nothing, nothing that is taught, nothing that I do on a daily basis revolves around scripts, revolves around mandates. They are frameworks, processes and systems that have the freedom and flexibility to grow and shift based on what's happening. They're timeless, it's not aggressive, it's not pushy, because that doesn't work. 15 years ago, you could probably get aggressive and you can probably be pushy and you could probably say some things you can't say now, but your buyers have seen all these, seen hundreds of thousands of videos at this point online of sellers and bad salespeople pushing and tips and all that stuff.

Speaker 1: 23:53

Your sole focus right now as a sales professional is to focus on the buyer's future state. That's it. How can you connect your product or service to the buyer's future state? Work your way back from that point and craft a message and a sequence of messages that gets you that meeting, because once they show up for the meeting. They have to understand what the future looks like. You're giving them a preview. They're showing up because of the preview that you've given them, not because you've requested it. That's not going to work anymore. You can't just say, hey, I'd really like to, I'd really like to sit down with you and I'd love to sit down with you, blah, blah, blah. I'm sure you would, but you haven't earned the right. Just because you have a product or service doesn't mean you have earned the right to my time or the buyer's time. I hope this helps. Uh, thank you so much for everybody who's been listening.

Speaker 1: 24:55

Again, if you are out there and you are just struggling, spinning your wheels, you don't know where to go. Your company isn't really guiding you. You know, companies are great at teaching you their product knowledge. They're great at teaching you the features and benefits, features and benefits. The old adage is features tell, benefits sell no, they don't. This is more about being a consultant and strategizing. It is less about just walking in and saying, hey, this is what I got. Things have changed. They really have changed.

Speaker 1: 25:32

Especially if you don't know somebody, it is harder than ever to stick out in the crowd and you really have to have a strong strategy, a repeatable process that you can have every single time you walk in to meet with a buyer, or you call a buyer, or you text a buyer, you email a buyer. You have to have a strategy. You can't just spray and pray. So if you want to have a conversation about how you can do that and what it looks like, dm me on LinkedIn or you can reach out to me, mike at survivingoutsidesalescom, and let's have a chat. I do a free 30 minute consultation with anybody who's willing to hop on a call, share this with a friend, connect more people to the Surviving Outside Sales world and again, thank you so much for everybody who's been listening. We'll see you next time. Surviving Outside Sales Cheers.