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Freedom Taught Me Where I Truly Belong

• Terri Wilson

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Have you ever had to walk away from something to truly understand its value? That's exactly what happened when I packed my "hippie Honda" and left Tennessee for a 22-month journey of self-discovery in Florida, only to find myself coming full circle back to the home and husband I'd left behind.

This powerful homecoming story reveals how separation became the unlikely catalyst for saving our marriage. Against all advice from friends and family who believed our relationship was beyond repair, my husband Roger and I discovered that our time apart allowed us each to focus on our own growth rather than trying to "fix" one another. 

The contrast between living in someone else's space versus returning to my own home highlighted what I'd taken for granted – the freedom to move around my own space without explanation, to garden without permission, to simply exist in privacy. These revelations align beautifully with the Taoist philosophy I embrace: build your connection with spirit first, establish financial stability second, and only then focus on relationships with others.

What makes our reconciliation different is that we're not returning to old patterns. We're creating something entirely new by applying the lessons we've learned during our time apart. Roger and I both recognized that we needed to work on ourselves individually before we could truly connect as partners. Now, we're excited to share our journey in real-time, demonstrating how two people can transform a struggling relationship when they place spiritual connection at the center.

Whether you're facing relationship challenges or simply feeling disconnected from your authentic self, this episode offers hope that sometimes going through life's "blender" is exactly what makes things smoother on the other side. Have you ever discovered something valuable by losing it first? I'd love to hear your story!

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Speaker 1:

The older you get, the more you realize you have no desire for stress, drama or conflict. You just want a cozy home, food on the table and to be surrounded by kind people who make you happy. Welcome back to Free To Just Be, the podcast empowering humanity to courageously step out of their old patterns and programs and give a big old hug to new ways of being. And I hope this finds you in the greatest health, with vibrant energy today, because you have chosen to accept full responsibility for your body, mind and soul. Here on Free To Just Be, we're going to try to inspire each other to truly be who we came here to be, and it starts with authenticity, freedom and being aligned with our highest potential. So join me, teresa Marie, your traveling ambassador of chi Chi, on this transformative journey to rewrite our narratives and live lives of purpose and passion. And I welcome you back today on an Open your Mind Monday and I hope you had a fantastical weekend. And let's dive right in to yet another change. That here it is. Right in to yet another change. That here it is. Change, change, change. Oh, yeah, there's that. There's that phone that we are chained to in the background of the podcast. Yeah, what are we chained to this morning, humanity? Yeah, are we going with the flow or are we going to freak out every time something enters in that we didn't expect? Life is all about change, and change can be little, minuscule things to big, huge things Like, for example, packing up my hippie Honda and traveling nine hours back from North Florida. I have closed the chapter of North Florida. Six months I've been there and I returned back to Tennessee and I just want to share what a revelational, what a relief, what a oh my goodness, so many things going through my heart and soul these last three days. I open with a very true quote that sometimes you have to go through the ringer, the blender, the cul-de-sacs of life, around and around and around, before you recognize some of the blessings that you had in the beginning. You know, joe Dirt had a quote in his iconic movie and his girlfriend, brandy. They both did. Joe said at one point I realized I had a home all along. And Brandy did the same thing at the end of the movie where she said, jo, you had people that loved you and a home all along. You just couldn't see it. Well, you know what, humanity, who I love so much? That is kind of where I'm coming full circle.

Speaker 1:

As many of you know, as I've shared on the show in several past episodes, my husband and I have been working towards reconciliation. Oh baby, I tell you what. What's to come on this podcast is going to change everything, but we're not quite there yet. But where we're at in our process is reconciliation in the physical no more text and video chats and Zoom calls, no more visits. It's called full reconciliation.

Speaker 1:

Back to my marital home, back to life with my husband, roger. And I tell you, I remember two years ago, when it came to the place where I knew that, I knew that, I knew. See, I came to a place of revelation that I really did believe that I deserve better and there was a lot of truth to that my husband and I were really bumping heads and each of us was trying to. Well, we weren't trying, we didn't unbeknownst to us, we were triggering each other back and forth and he'd grab my energy and I grabbed his and I just couldn't take it anymore and honestly, I really thought that my husband would have moved on by now. But no, we are both covenant people and that covenant lasted the test of 22 months. And not only do I believe that we're coming back together stronger than ever, but we are going to go on and help many other people, because we're fixing on doing something that nobody's done. But more to that is to come.

Speaker 1:

But I want to talk about what it was like to walk the same streets that I walked for 15 years and then walked away from the. Oh my goodness, it was amazing to to realize not only the familiar, the places that you know. You go back and look at this podcast and you hear stories of me walking my snow dogs and you hear stories of the trees on my road ministering to me, or the times out in the eight acres of woods that we have, that I was absolutely changed, where the birds met me and all sorts of lessons from my gardens and from family times in this house. But you know, there comes a point in your life when you realize what really matters, who never really did matter and who always will matter. Now I stayed in touch with my kids and all of that while I was gone.

Speaker 1:

But coming back to the excitement that my children expressed that I would be close again, not really realizing that I had so much love here, I mean I had to walk through all my own shite Because, you see, we all have our own pile, don't we? We all have our reckonings, our recognition. We all have to sit in that dark night of the soul. We all have to understand who we are, whose we are and where we are, how we got there and where we want to continue to go to, where we want to continue to go to, and some of that literally requires solitude and alone, time and difficulty. Sometimes we do have to go through the blender in order to come out smooth on the other side, sweeter, more of a victory, and I think a lot of us neglect that time and we stay in situations and around people that maybe no longer serve us because we're afraid. We're afraid of change, we're afraid of discovering ourselves, we're afraid of looking in the mirror.

Speaker 1:

And, as you'll begin to hear going forward, my husband and I learned some incredible lessons as we were solo. Did it suck? Many, many, many, many days? Very dark, very lonely. Many days I was back in that fetus position laying on my bed. Some days I was joyous and felt like I was this great adventurer. And it's true, I have recognized so much about myself. I am one courageous, badass, strong woman. And something else I realized I had a man with all his bumps and warts, just like I have that really, really, truly loved me. And it took 22 months apart to really recognize that each of us has a deep enough love that we're not going to run anymore, we're going to stand and face whatever issues that we had, and a lot of them have miraculously just dissolved because now we have recognized what truly is important. Now we have our own separate missions and we have a mission together.

Speaker 1:

But I want to focus today on the foundational things that everybody needs as human beings. You know we've talked about them before on past podcasts. You know everybody needs to feel safe, everybody needs to feel accepted, everybody needs unconditional love in their life. Right, and it's so funny. You know I'm a quote gal and when I ask the computer the question, you know, give me quotes about X, y, z. I love it, you know, because you see so many different voices out there that have quote unquote left, quotes right. And here's one by Britney Spears. And if any of you know who Britney Spears is and how manipulated and how controlled her life and how her very parents, who were supposed to love and protect her are the ones that sucked the very life out of her and used her talents for their own advantage, and how she was trapped for many years. And here's her quote. She said we're people and we need our privacy and our respect. Those are things that you have to have as a human being.

Speaker 1:

Now, I tell you, when I went out on my own and there'll be many episodes coming ahead that'll talk about the lessons I'll be unpacking the lessons of Florida, for sure, and I remember the adventure of going out and I talked about pulling out of Tennessee and realizing that I had everything in my car to last. I could have lasted for weeks just right out of my car, and that was very empowering. That was freedom. That was recognizing that, wow, that was freedom. That was recognizing that, wow, I can make my way out on my own. And I tell you, if you've never been completely by yourself, having to do life on your own, why not?

Speaker 1:

A very important aspect of life, I think the matrix causes us to jump into relationship before we have had a chance to even figure out who the hell we are, and I think that's quite a trap, and one of the things you know this is an Open your Mind Monday. So I always talk about the spiritual side of my journey and when I found the Tai Chi Gong way of life, several of the things that attracted me to that beautiful system given by angels was think for yourself. The other thing that they talked about was observe what the world does and do the opposite Well. And the other thing is to get real familiar with energy and notice, observe how you feel around certain people, around certain situations, that type of thing. But the matrix itself, it doesn't want you to discover who you are right out the gates, because when you discover who you are and who are we in humanity, we are love and light and we are covered up by all these veils of unconsciousness and that is the working out of our salvation right.

Speaker 1:

That is coming back home and one of the things I learned in the Tai Chi Gong world the Taoist way of being the way, okay, that is the true way to live and it is the pyramid of life, and that pyramid starts, the foundational piece, the way that we really should consider starting our life is getting your connection with spirit first, okay, and that, of course, is the big arm of you know, the body of the octopus. You get all the tentacles and all the little sucker points on those tentacles of the matrix, but the main, the very main body of the matrix octopus, or the body of the spider, however you want to picture it that main lie that they want to make sure that you have is that you are separate from God, and that is the absolute biggest lie that they give right. So, in the Taoist way of being, the first foundation of life is that you recognize that you are connected, you are one with God, with the universe, with everybody, with everything. We are one. And then you get that foundation of your own spirit, life, your own identity, that you are a spark of God and you begin that as your foundation. You know thyself. Then the second level of the pyramid is becoming financially stable, figuring out what your purpose is in life, how you're going to make your way, and once the finances are stable, then you go on to bring somebody else into your life.

Speaker 1:

Another Taoist concept which I find comical but so true and I especially can apply it to my husband, roger and we can laugh about this now is the Taoist believe that humanity would be so much better off if humans first learned how to take care of plants and they got really good at taking care of plants and then they took those lessons and applied them to animals. Once you're, you know you've got a good green thumb on both hands and you've got, you're nurturing plants and they're producing and everything's going well, then you learn how to nurture animals and learn how to live with that unconditional love before you start working on humans. So the third level would be now you apply all that you've learned with plants and animals to human beings. And that is very much where my husband is, because my husband has always been so good, he's an excellent gardener and he just loves, loves, loves, plants. And if you've heard past episodes I used to talk about, how you know, I would tell my husband that I'm going to come back as a long-haired cat so you can feed me in a pedestal bowl and I can sit on your lap, because, man, he sure had it down, that unconditional love that he'd give to animals. It's just been amazing and that is a very true Taoist concept.

Speaker 1:

And so, taking it back to my arrival back home, unfortunately sometimes you have to leave what's familiar, sometimes you have to go on a sojourn, for example, where you have to step out of your comfort zones and your place of familiarity in order to discover that you already did have a lot of things in place right, and I certainly was a product of the matrix. My husband and I neither one of us had ever really lived by ourselves. We left our homes and we always had somebody else in the picture. We never really had solo time where we could observe and recognize our own oh, speaking of which, my husband's right in the room and he might have some comments about that no, I kind of.

Speaker 2:

I had some time alone before my third, that I lived by myself for a little while and reflected on things and it was, uh, it was a good time and a lonely time, you know, it was a. It was a time for me to draw back in and, uh, build my confidence level and taking care of myself, feeling like I could enjoy my own company for a while and not need somebody else around all the time for me to be happy like I had a companion, and so it was good. It was good to have that lesson again, because so often when we're in the routine of life with somebody else, we start expecting. It's easy to fall into that trap of taking folks for granted and they're going to cover their half and sometimes more when we we have those lazy spells, sometimes more when we have those lazy spells. And it's unfortunate for that sort of trap, but it happens to the best of us and probably to the worst of us, but it still does and it's a learning experience.

Speaker 2:

Sometimes we have to go along that road of hard knocks so that we learn how not to be no more, how to act more cohesively with somebody and not be so pessimistic about the world and how you feel you're being treated and learn how to step back from it and gain a new perspective on the world, don't revolve around me. What the heck am I thinking? I don't need to feel like everybody caters to me because I'm a man. God made me an individual and a powerhouse of his ministry to share with folks the victories in life, in setting goals for yourself and accomplishing them. But first we got to really pull ourselves up from our bootstraps. You know when we're down in that pit Like.

Speaker 2:

Joseph, I think, like Joseph was, and all of his brothers had betrayed him and put him down in that pit. You know it was a heinous thing they did, but I think it was a life lesson. It was a life lesson for Joseph to pull himself out of. And what did that war philosopher say Nietzsche what doesn't kill you, make you stronger.

Speaker 1:

Well.

Speaker 2:

I'm grateful for all those bumps along the road of hard knocks, and it just chips off more bad things as we go along, like our Lord and Savior, jesus Christ, being our sculptor and knowing who we're going to be before we're even born. It's an awesome thing to take on the perspective that those little quirks and character flaws that we gradually have fall off from us because of life's lessons or time alone and opportunity to reflect on stuff, and it just, you know, chips away from us that we will be that beautiful sculpture that he's intended for us. So thank you.

Speaker 1:

So, thank you, and learning how we each have these sides of the triangle of the Enneagram and that we go to and now we recognize, like for me and I've done an episode about it about how I want to control things and how, as a child, I was the baby of six and so I had to talk fast and loud, and my husband's quite the thinker and he's got a lot of wisdom and for a lot of our 17 years together well, 25, we've known each other, but 17 in relationship I would not give him opportunity to speak and, as you can tell, he has a lot to share and everything has shifted. Everything has shifted and I would like for him to share his perspective on a cabin. For the first couple of weeks I live with a friend and then I rented a furnished room and I had access to a house and I had a wonderful roommate. But the thing was and it's so funny, I'll do a show about this too I had written down a list of everything that I wanted in a place to live and I literally got everything that I wanted on that list A pool, two different sources of fire where I could sit and be in front of a fire. I wanted beauty, I wanted privacy of a fire. I wanted beauty, I wanted privacy. I wanted a lovely atmosphere, environment, clean and organized, and just a place of beauty that I could go to every day. And it's so funny, the only thing I didn't put on the list was that that place would be mine, that I would own it. And so I literally manifested everything on that list, except it was owned by a dear landlady named Pam, and it's been a wonderful six months with Pam.

Speaker 1:

But when you're living in somebody else's home, you don't have full liberty. Now, do you? You don't have full privacy. You don't have the ability to get up at any time of the night and walk through the house and make noise, or, you know, go out and start a fire at two in the morning or walk around naked, or you know, just feel full liberty. So that was very. That really began to grate on my nerves, so to speak, Not to say anything negative or derogatory towards Pam. She was wonderful. She was one of my 79-year-old bookends in Florida. I had my 79-year-old landlady quote-unquote or slash roommate, and then I had a 79-year-old dear friend and new medicine gal named Sandy, and she was 79. So I had these beautiful women, bookends that were in my life.

Speaker 1:

But as I came home to Roger and I's house and when I left I had all these physical complaints in my head oh, I'm tired of all the dog hair and taking care of the animals and I'm tired of the upkeep and all these things that I believe, in looking back, that I had to convince myself it was all part of the way that I had to change my thinking in order to do the courageous thing and go off on my own for a time, for a season, right. And now, as I came back this weekend, I've been home for two days now, man walking around, knowing, and Pam had beautiful gardens and she loved to garden and so did I, but the thing was it wasn't my garden. I couldn't go out and trim something or dig up an area or, you know, I had many opportunities to go out and sit in her garden, but again, it wasn't my garden. So when I came home and yeah, my, you know my husband let a lot of things go it. You know he didn't have time to do the things that I did and nor the desire, because the gardening outside is very much my forte, what I love to do, and there's a lot of work to be done. But, oh my goodness, the night and day contrast. And isn't life all about contrast? Often you have to go out and see what you're missing in order to recognize what you have right.

Speaker 1:

And walking around, just stepping outside, I know, saturday it was rainy on and off and my husband had gone to help one of our son-in-laws and I was at the house by myself. And that rarely happened when I was living with my roommate, pam. Because Pam, because she was a retired woman and now don't get me wrong she was very active. She was gone many, many days. She had a lot of church activities and a lot of social life, but for the most part she was there. So a lot of times when I wanted alone time, I didn't have complete alone time. I could go in my room, but oftentimes she would say, terry, are you in there? And I never knew when that would occur.

Speaker 1:

So to be able to be in my own home, surrounded by my pets that were so excited to have me and to welcome me back, and to have total silence, to be able to read my word or journal or to just sit and reflect and meditate, was an incredible contrast to what I've been living with the last six months, to be able to step outside and stand in the rain and do my spinning right in the middle of my backyard, all by myself, in the privacy of my own yard, and let that rain pour down, and just stand out there in the rain and get soaking wet. I could have done it naked if I wanted to, but I didn't feel led to do that. But you understand my point the familiarity and the recognition that, oh my goodness, I always had a place where I could be totally by myself, have that privacy to meditate, to seek God, to allow nature because we live on eight acres. And, wow, what a revelation to recognize that I always had that right there. I could wake up and I could be free to move anywhere in this building and nobody would say, oh well, that's mine, or could you please not put that cup here or whatever it is. And that's not to say that that was occurring, but I'm just bringing that point home that sometimes you have to come away from what you had to recognize exactly the blessings that it was. So that was major, major for me, and the homecoming you know just the unconditional love that my husband has exhibited and you know the tragedy of recognizing that I literally did believe that he would find somebody and would have moved on, and that wasn't the case at all. He has patiently waited for this very weekend, for the reconciliation that I believe that we both knew in our hearts.

Speaker 1:

I never left thinking that that would be the end. I knew it was the end of the way we treated each other, but that at some point now I did. I thought it would take a lot longer. But then there's God, and that's the spirit part of this Open your Mind Monday that with God all things are possible and it truly is possible, and I'm really glad that I, two years ago, believed that I did deserve better and then I would have it. But I had to work on me. I had to stop trying to work on my husband because that wasn't my job. My job and your job, humanity, is to get yourself back to that love and light that you are, figure out who you are and what your purpose is. That's our job. Our job has never been to fix somebody else and we had a lot of that going on in our marriage.

Speaker 1:

So homecoming has been an incredible time and I'm looking forward to this new chapter in life and, oh, there's so much more to come. There's so much help that we're going to offer, as we not only look back on the negative and the aspects of life that we were failing at, and then we unfold and unpack for you, on a brand new timeline, how we are effectually entering into a brand new marriage and a brand new way of being in the house, that we have peace and freedom and liberty. So I look forward to sharing more and sharing the mic with my husband, roger. But today I just wanted to say home is where the heart is. I am surrounded by my, and all of them are beginning to have ripples flow into their life and they're beginning to open and recognize that they have issues that they need to deal with.

Speaker 1:

And now, as we're all together again in the same, you know, within 45 minutes of each other, all of us are close enough and that support is super, super important. And it's taken us years. We've had a lot of collateral damage. My husband and I stepped out of home lives that created damage to us and we pass that on to our children, and now we have opportunity to all come back together and, inch by inch, everything is a cinch. Inch by inch, everything is a cinch and one program at a time. We're beginning to observe, acknowledge and decide if it serves us any longer. And now we have the support of those that we love all around us, and I am very, very grateful that I had the courage to step out of my comfort zone and walk out into the world for 22 months and discover who I am, and in the doing so, my husband had opportunity to do the same.

Speaker 1:

So, going forward, you're going to hear lots of gems and jewels and you're going to learn in real time how two people, who everybody around us, told us we weren't going to make it and that it was right that we separated, and you better run and you better get out of that as quick as you can. We are, in the face of all the naysayers, going to show you that anything is possible if you have God in between you. So, on this, open your Mind Monday. Open your mind to areas in your life that maybe need a really good look at, and maybe you need solitude, time away and maybe taking a break in your relationship is all that it'll take to turn that relationship absolutely back on track, and in the meantime, you go out and have yourself a magnificent Monday, and I'll be back in your earbuds tomorrow. Peace out.