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Family: The Ultimate Laboratory for Personal Growth

• Terri Wilson

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Ever notice how your most profound spiritual growth seems to happen right after the most challenging family gatherings? There's a reason for that.

Family relationships serve as the ultimate laboratory for our spiritual evolution—where triggers abound, old wounds resurface, and our most deeply embedded programming gets activated. As our planet experiences an unprecedented influx of light and higher consciousness, these family dynamics are intensifying, pushing us toward necessary healing.

The real transformation begins when we recognize that our family frustrations aren't actually about them—they're illuminating the dark spaces within ourselves that require attention. When we blame parents for our "daddy issues" or siblings for not understanding us, we remain stuck in victim consciousness. But when we take responsibility for our own healing and change our thinking patterns, we stop recycling painful experiences and break free from what Theresa Marie calls "the cul-de-sac" of repetitive family drama.

What makes this journey particularly challenging is that family members awaken at different rates. Some are just beginning to peek behind the veil of social conditioning, while others have journeyed further along the path of self-discovery. This disparity creates tension but also opportunity. By holding space for where each person is in their process—without judgment or the need to "fix" them—we create the conditions for authentic healing.

Remember that while change is inevitable (our entire body physically renews itself every seven years), evolution remains optional. We can choose to transform our family legacies by focusing on "building the new, not fighting the old." Through this process, we discover that despite growing in different directions like branches on a tree, our roots remain deeply connected—and within that connection lies the potential to create family circles "founded on faith, joined in heart, and kept in God's hands."

Have you noticed your family dynamics shifting during this time of awakening? Share your experience in the comments and let's support each other through this transformative journey.

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Speaker 1:

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children. Let me ask you humanity, is that what the world looks like today? And that is exactly what we're going to talk about. Family, yes, family, and I do. I welcome you back to Free to Just Be the podcast, empowering humanity to courageously step out of old patterns and programs and give a big embrace to new ways of being. And I hope this finds you in the greatest health, with vibrant energy, today, because you have chosen to accept full responsibility for your body, mind and soul. Here I'm going to try to inspire each of us to truly be who we came here to be, which starts with authenticity, transparency and honesty, most especially, being honest with ourselves, and that, in turn, causes us to become freer and freer and more aligned with our highest potential. Freer and freer and more aligned with our highest potential. So won't you join me on this transformative journey to rewrite our narratives and live lives of purpose and passion? And this is Teresa Marie, the traveling ambassador of Chi, coming at you today, on this fantastical Friday of Chi coming at you today, on this fantastical Friday, and I want to drop some seeds of thought into your hopper tonight as we enter yet another two-day weekend. You know, if you think you're enlightened, then I suggest you do what Ram Dass said Go and spend a week with your family or, in this case, a weekend. Would it be a fantastical Friday or would it be a frightening Friday? Would it be a fulfilling Friday or would it be a filled with anger, grief or sadness Friday? Because, as the opening lines that I read, it's just proof that we are not at all walking the way that we should during this incredible evolutionary, spiritual and energetic shift that's happening on this planet. You can call it an awakening, an ascension, an evolution, but boy oh boy, when it comes to family, you may get triggered, you may be a trigger. You may end up in a fetal position. You may end up leaving the room full of energy, the energy that you sucked from your family, the energy that you sucked from your family. You may end up going out to your car exhausted, because you're the one that gave the energy to your family. Family is an incredible schoolroom, a laboratory, if you will, where some of the greatest experiments happened within your lives.

Speaker 1:

A lot of us just retreat and just write family off Nope, don't like them, never felt part of them and then you end up in later years possibly having deep regrets, like my husband and I. It's interesting that we both walked away in the same era he was in his early 20s and I was in my late teens when we walked away from our home states him from Yakima, washington, and me from Richmond Hill. Well, actually at that point it was Franklin Square, new York and we both have memories of family gatherings, of Sunday dinners, of holidays spent, of people gathering, people putting on their quote-unquote Sunday best and enjoying a meal, or attending a wedding, or going to a sibling's home and the whole family met there, that type of thing. And when you no longer have that, when you think you did the right thing by exiting and getting away from whatever it was that affected you, you may realize that that nucleus, that very quote-unquote gene pool, was really the support system and the love system that you allowed yourself to walk away from. Now, as we enter a weekend, there may be all sorts of tumultuous situations, experiences, memories, traumas. We all have them. We all have them. There's not a person on this planet that does not have some sort of trauma that the instigator of, or in all of us we are. Every part Trauma occurs to us and we create trauma. We have trauma bonds, we have trauma survival skills. We have trauma survival skills. We have trauma reactions, passive aggressiveness, compulsive, whatever. Put your compulsion after the word compulsion. We all have these methods of operation that helped us survive the traumas and unfortunately, they become imprinted in ourselves. And now, as we've talked about many, many times, the energies are rising, and it's not darkness that's rising now. The paradigm shift is upon us. It's already begun, and more goodness and more light is flooding this planet than ever before, and it's freaking a lot of people out People that prefer the darkness, people that are chained to darkness, people that are struggling to get out of darkness, people that are struggling because they don't like the light and any level in between is what the planet looks like right now. In fact, it's interesting.

Speaker 1:

I played with paint a couple of weekends ago with one of my granddaughters a 20-year-old granddaughter instead of a preschooler this time, and she was probably my original granddaughter that I painted with. And here we come back around and she's 20. And a couple of weekends ago I pulled out these paint bottles that my dear healer friend, soleil, gave me, and they're little, two or three ounce bottles of squeeze. You know, the paint squeezes out, and we sat at my kitchen table and we could feel it shift. She mentioned it too. It was fun, we enjoyed it, we felt like kids again, and I knew, before I sat down with her, what was in me that I wanted to somehow emote onto this paper, right.

Speaker 1:

And so I lined up the paint and I had completed a head count and came up with 25 family members, including spouses and grandchildren. 25 of us, right From just little old me and two husbands. And then you throw in my current and the last husband, I'll have Roger and his two children, who I've known since they were four and two. So we have 25 of us, and I didn't know what was going to come out of this, but I knew that that number was significant and I sat with a bottle of paint in my hand and a few minutes in front of that paper, and then I knew exactly what I was going to do, and so I started with a golden yellow paint and I made a figure eight to represent God. You know, our DNA flows in the figure eight. So I just thought that it was apropos to use gold to symbolize God and use the eight, the symbol of the life force, right. And then I superimposed, right on top of the God eight, 24 more eights to represent everybody in my family, my children and my grandchildren.

Speaker 1:

And I stared at that thing of beauty. Beauty, this wheel, this colorful wheel that I created. And then I sat before it and spirit had me take first my pinkies and I, just like, moved one pinky and then another pinky and then, before I knew it, a song had come on and I was moving my hands and what occurred on that paper was exactly what is happening energetically in this world. Energetically in this world, a lot of chaos, a lot of convolution, a lot of different colors running and melding and streaking and dirtying up. There was this tumultuous now about that picture that started out so beautiful and pure, and that is exactly what I feel is happening in the world. We have all of this energetic.

Speaker 1:

You know, deepak Chopra had a really apropos quote and he said awakening is not changing who you are, but discarding who you are not. So, coming out of the last 16 years I heard very often in my marital relationship with Roger quit trying to change me. I am who I am, I'm not going to change, as I was literally stepping away from more and more of who I was and who he knew, literally stepping away from more and more of who I was and who he knew. Could your family members be in a similar scenario, where maybe one of your family members is pushing back because they feel like you're trying to change them or shove something down their throat? Oh, buddy, did I try to extend everything out away from me? It was this person's fault. It was that person's fault.

Speaker 1:

Years condemning, blaming, grieving, screaming at. At one point I even took pictures of people in my family, and you know what? I am no longer going to be ashamed about this, because maybe some of you have felt such vehement feelings that you did equally idiotic things like putting their photographs on your target range and shooting them and then grieving because when you looked at the pictures they were all shot up. And so then you had to go through a whole nother layer of healing yourself from trauma, because you see, nobody can do it but you, and nobody wants to go through it because it really does require that. You have to look at your shit. You have to feel that trauma because now all of it that's trapped in your cells is demanding by way of so much light, because you see those bits of trauma that you've held on to, that you've never released that, you've never talked about that, you've never revealed that there are the monsters within you.

Speaker 1:

Now they are saying I need to get out of here. Can you see the light coming up from the earth? It's coming, it's coming, it's coming after me. And what that light does is it continues to illuminate those dark spots that we want to run away from. That, we want to inebriate that, we want to retract from that, we want to pretend aren't there, that we want to just positive think our way out of. They're going to keep coming up and keep coming up and keep coming up.

Speaker 1:

And, depending on where you are in this evolutionary process, the truth is, until you and I change our thinking, not anybody else's, and I just think of how, mel Robbins and so many others she just came out with the let them. And boy, if there was ever a simple truth that she is teaching the world, let them. We're not responsible for anybody except us. We can only control our thoughts. Oh, but they've said that that's an impossibility, that that's a new malady, right Wrong. We can control our thoughts, we can control our actions, change ourselves, and until we change our thinking, we will always continue to recycle what Our experiences. We will live in a cul-de-sac, oh, you know. You can just look back at last week's episodes the embarrassment of five times being in that same cul-de-sac for anywhere from two to five years, and yet I have no regrets about that. All right, so it took me a little bit longer to get specific lessons.

Speaker 1:

But if we are going to cling to the way we've always done things, we're always going to get the same results, and that is, of course, insanity. We know this. So if change is inevitable, and look up the science of how rapidly our very cells die off and renew and become new, our entire body, folks, is brand new in seven years, and yet we think change is uncomfortable. Change is a dirty word, change is not for us. We're going to stay exactly the same, and some will choose to do so, and they will watch family member after family member rise above change, become brand new beings on a brand new earth, and they will be left in the same state that they have allowed themselves to be in. There are family members right now that are just beginning to understand that change is inevitable Because everything is changing around them and they finally had no choice but to change as well. Change is inevitable, but now evolution. Evolution, however, is inevitable. But now evolution. Evolution, however, is optional.

Speaker 1:

And that's what Tony Robbins said. And how can he? What are his creds? Well, 42 years of pursuing people that take action, that take massive amount of changing action and change their lives. As compared to the 90, I don't know what he said 92, 95, and probably more, like 98% of us, will talk a good game and we won't take massive action.

Speaker 1:

Like me, teresa Marie, now I could let my self-condemner come out and beat myself about my head and shoulders with that wet noodle that has it's so wore out now and say you know, yeah, I should have, I should have and I would have and I could have, but no, that has gotten me nowhere but more depressed. So I had to change the way I thought in order to change my procrastinitis behavior. Am I excelling as rapidly as I think I should? No, as rapidly as I think I should? No, but this is not a perfection game, as Dean DeGrasio would say or Tony Robbins would say. No, it is a progress game. This evolution is a marathon. It's not a sprint.

Speaker 1:

And, as Michael Del Rocco or if that's how you pronounce his name, the digital creator talking about ascension things, it's destination unknown, we have no idea where we're going or where we're headed. And it's a huge trust game, and trust means you have to be vulnerable. And people that are just coming out of, for example, childhood traumas and just finally being brave enough to look at them. You have to remember that they haven't sat with them for hours yet, they've just taken a peek behind the first veil right. And then there are those that have gone further and maybe have forgiven and have let some of their programming go and maybe their ego is now leading the path. Well, you know, so-and-so in my family isn't X, y, z, but you know, like me, you know I'm much further down the path. That was kind of my verbiage in a different language, in a very nice loving way, but that's what I was saying. Oh, you guys better get on the ball. You guys better get on the ball. That was all ego.

Speaker 1:

So we have all these different varieties of awakening and evolutionary shifts happening not only within our bodies, not only in the huge collective called Humanityville, but we have them going on in our families. And now let's also drop in the big collective matrix program running ever present in the background of family disillusionment, family division. We cannot have family support because then we might rise quicker. So we have the backdrop of all the distractions of the internet, of the school system, of the poison in our food all of these things happening simultaneously in our families, these things happening simultaneously in our families. And so if you're a little frustrated this Friday, maybe you are disgusted with your family right now. Maybe you're beginning to recognize that families like branches on a tree. We all grow in different directions and maybe you're experiencing those different directions.

Speaker 1:

Maybe you've wondered why your family isn't close anymore, or maybe you're wondering why your family was never close. Maybe you're desirous of that. You know, very few of us are made to be monks or eunuchs or whatever you call the people that are celibate and never marry and never have intimate relations. It's a rarity. So why are we so surprised that it grieves our hearts to no end that we don't have the support system of days gone by. Hundred years ago, thousand years ago, family was everything. The elderly were honored, new births were rejoiced upon, you know, but even back in those days, babies were getting sacrificed. So see, this program has always been here. And now this light coming in on the planet is so strong that not only are these programs being dismantled one by one, as family members we are all one family, remember. And then you take it down to your blood families, and then you take it down to just you and God, okay. And then we go back out like a telescope, right? Ultimately, our true self that's inside knows that we all take the telescope all the way out and view the entire planet, the entire universe. We're all one with that. But where does it begin? Bring the telescope all the way back in and pat yourself on your chest.

Speaker 1:

It begins with one evolutionary change at a time, just one. One person changes their thinking and suddenly they pop out of the cul-de-sac that they have been recycling their experiences in for years. And then other family members who are still in the cul-de-sac are going what the F? Well, that's not how we did it. And the other person's going I'm free, I'm free. And somebody on the inside of that cul-de-sac is saying man, why do I hurt so much?

Speaker 1:

And could it be that you're missing that one family member that, for whatever reason, has gone their own way and and and you haven't made a path back to them? Because, you see, we all, really, if we were honest with the amount of people on the planet with abandonment, with rejection, with abuse in their backgrounds, most of us would agree that we would love to have families which are circles of strength and love, founded on faith, joined in heart and kept in God's hands. Wouldn't that be awesome if all of our families could be that way? Wouldn't that be awesome if all of our families could be that way? Well, I am here to say be patient, be kind, be compassionate to one another this weekend, because the secret of change is to focus on building the new, not fighting the old.

Speaker 1:

So if you're one step closer to being freer from more programs than maybe a sibling or an aunt or an uncle or a parent is, don't toot your horn. Can you hold space for the family members that aren't there yet, the family members that aren't there yet? Or if you're just beginning to wake up and you don't understand why somebody in your family doesn't feel as horrible as you think that they should about something that you were involved in with them and you're not looking at the big picture that maybe they have already begun to deal with some of those issues and they recognize that it's okay, I had to pull away. Maybe they need to pull away. Maybe we need to honor boundaries more and learn to forgive, forgive and forgive, because even though the branches on that family tree grow in different directions guess what humanity? The roots of that humanity tree go deep and our roots keep us remaining as one One tree of life and we come from one blood family and what you do with that is really up to you. And what you do with that is really up to you Because you know, family is not defined by our genes.

Speaker 1:

Because, honestly, as I dropped in my own family chat, which is very quiet right now, and the Teresa Marie of even two years ago would have been incredibly anxious about that, I would be taking on all the guilt and shame for all seven of my children and whatever they were going through. I did that for years. I was consumed with guilt and shame about my lack of parenting skills, with guilt and shame about my lack of parenting skills. And yet now I'm excited to see my children pulling away and saying you know what I just need? I need process time. That is music to this mom's ears. Why? Because they're waking up. Waking up? Do I have all the answers? Absolutely not. Have I ended my children's chapter of taking any advisement from me? Probably Am I, or maybe you might be the culprit right now. Maybe, like when I first started waking up, my mom and dad I mean, they were to blame for everything.

Speaker 1:

I was such a mess because of my daddy issues. I was such a mess because of my daddy issues. Wow, what a victim mentality I hung on to for 20 plus years and didn't really realize that it had nothing to do with them. It had everything to do with my processing it, with my sitting with it, making friends with it and telling it it's time to go, that now my little girl is safe. Nobody's there rejecting me, and those programs have, to a large degree, been unplugged.

Speaker 1:

So wherever you are at in the process, so wherever you are at in the process, be careful of looking from one side to the other, be careful of comparing yourself, be careful of taking on all the blame or projecting all the blame. Stay in your own lane. Oh, as Teresa Marie preaches that to herself. See, I have a lot of trust to build back. I have pushed and prodded and because, see, I'm an eight on the Enneagram and I'm a controller and I want to control your healing and your healing and your healing, and oh, baby, healing and oh, baby, take it from somebody who has had terrible results at that and has been comic relief for my beloved father and divine mother. Right as I plan on sending XYZ to another child who is going oh my God, you know, rolling their eyes, just like I did when my mom sent me back letters with grammar corrected right.

Speaker 1:

Always put yourself in others' moccasins. Always think about what it would be like to be in their shoes. Let's remember that our families can indeed once again be circles of strength and love, founded on faith, joined in heart and kept by God. And make no mistake if your family member is off in a group. You know there's all sorts of names, like a Friendsgiving for Thanksgiving. And why is that? Why are so many people involved in different groups? Why was I involved in a group that, in my view, went south? Because we all long for acceptance, we all long for unconditional love. We all long for that safe place, that haven, that circle of strength and love. So the last thought I want to put in your hopper is wouldn't it behoove us, instead of trying to make outside groups, wouldn't it behoove us to individually within our own gene pools, to the best of our abilities?

Speaker 1:

Now, I understand fully that there are all sorts of messed up scenarios that maybe people don't you know. I understand that there may be exceptions, but when you hear testimonies of people who go and minister to the young man in a prison who killed their husband and daughter, for example, or their daughter and son-in-law, rather, I just heard a testimony, a true story, about somebody that literally not only forgave the murderer but went and shared God and they now have an active spiritual relationship with one another. Now you tell me that all things aren't possible. So, as we gravitate towards groups that make us feel good, could we maybe consider making a phone call, reaching out to a family member that we haven't talked to? Can we imagine, especially an elderly person that you haven't spoken to in a long time, the joy that would fill their entire body? Or how about a grandparent that hasn't seen your children? Maybe you've gone through blackout periods, like many of us parents have, and maybe you're witnessing your own children go through it now with their children. Wouldn't it behoove us to want to break those cycles simply by changing the way we think, so we don't have to be stuck in cul-de-sacs anymore? So, as you can tell, these are ponderings from the mom of seven and Grammy to 11.

Speaker 1:

Nobody has perfect family. Everybody loves. Some will say, oh, she loves fiercely and loyally and would give anything for their kids. And then maybe you find out down the pike that that particular family is very full of codependency and some of the family members can't function away from mom and dad. Or you discover that the family that you thought was so perfect is divorcing. Trust me, look at the statistics. The marriages that have lasted decades and the couples are still happy and the children have turned out perfect. It's a very small percentage.

Speaker 1:

Now, I'm not saying that to make myself feel better because I have a dysfunctional family. I'm saying it so that maybe we would turn and look within our own hearts and say you know what? I don't want to leave that legacy of dysfunction. I want to break the chains of generational yuck right now by starting right here within my own heart. That's where all change begins. You and I change our thinking and we'll stop recycling our experiences and not only become free to just be who we were always meant to be, but we will usher in a brand new planet with brand new family circles of love and strength. Have an absolutely fantabulous weekend. Humanity worship, enjoy your family and love on yourself. I love you. Peace out.