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The Courage to Be Unfinished: Embracing Life's Waiting Rooms

• Terri Wilson

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Have you ever found yourself caught in that strange, uncomfortable space between who you were and who you're becoming? That's exactly where I am right now—and it's teaching me more about transformation than any of my adventures ever have.

As someone who has lived through three marriages, 33 different moves, and more jobs than I can count on both hands, I've always defined myself by movement. My identity was built on being "the hippie freak of the South," constantly seeking the next big thing. So when I returned home after a disappointing chapter in Florida and found myself suddenly drawn to stability and routine, I felt lost. Was I failing? Had I given up?

The battle rages inside me daily. On one side stands Terri, whispering doubts about whether I'll ever make the impact I dream of. On the other stands Theresa Marie, the traveling ambassador of Chi, reminding me that transformation doesn't always look like massive action. Sometimes it looks like consistency in small things—like recording this podcast 98% of the time. Sometimes it looks like pausing to reclaim your yard bit by bit, clearing physical space as you clear emotional and spiritual space within.

What I'm discovering is that pathways are indeed made by walking, but walking doesn't always mean sprinting forward. Sometimes walking means standing still long enough to hear God's direction. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is resist the urge to fill the void with another adventure before you've fully processed the last one.

If you're in that uncomfortable in-between space right now, I invite you to join me in giving yourself permission to just be. Your situation isn't permanent—it's fluid, changing moment by moment. The void isn't empty at all—it's where your next chapter is being written. Subscribe to continue this journey with me as we learn together what it truly means to be free to just be.

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Speaker 1:

All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking. Yes, whether it's walking away from something or walking towards something, pathways are made by walking. So, on this Walking Away Wednesday, walking Away Wednesday, let's talk about the power of walking, shall we? And I welcome you back to a Walk Away Wednesday on Free to Just Be the podcast, empowering humanity to courageously step away from old patterns and programs and give a big old, warm, fuzzy hug to a new way of being. And I hope this finds you in the greatest of health, with vibrant energy today, because you have chosen to accept the full responsibility for your body, mind and soul. Here I'm going to try to inspire us to truly be who we came here to be, and that starts with authenticity, transparency and being brutally honest, first with yourself, and then that ushers in freedom, and then we can align ourselves with our highest potentials. So join me, teresa, marie. Potentials. So join me, teresa Marie, the traveling ambassador of Chi, on this transformative journey to rewrite our narratives and live lives of purpose and passion. And yes, today is a walk away Wednesday on the podcast.

Speaker 1:

And as I walked this morning with the dogs, and as I drove around this morning doing a little door dashing, I was thinking about? What is it that I want to quote, unquote walk away from? What do I want to walk away from? What do I want to talk about today? What is it that I want to convey today? And, as always, I am always looking for the things that are happening in my life, and what's been happening in my life lately is kind of a rut, um it well, not even a rut, it's. It's a stoppage point, it's a place of in-between, and you can tell my hesitation. It's like what really is this that you're in, teresa Marie? What are you in right now?

Speaker 1:

And I think back on where I was. You know, part of finding out where I belong over these last 40 plus years is going on different adventures. I've been on many, many as you know the adventure of three different marriages, the adventure of 33 different moves, the adventure of a list of jobs that are longer than my arm, a list of all sorts of different new things that I tried and they careen towards, all the things I don't want to do right. The only way to find out where you belong is going on adventures. It's trying out things that are uncomfortable, it's facing your fears, it's trying new things, and right now I am at a place where, when I came home, I came home to the familiar, I came home to the stable, I came home to the stable, I came home to predictable, I came home to thankfulness, of routine. And now I find myself wondering what the heck, therese Marie, what is going on? You're not walking towards your destiny, you're not being proactive. You're not walking towards your destiny. You're not being proactive, you're not taking massive action.

Speaker 1:

And I guess I really wondered what was going on, because life is always, according to Russell Baker, walking up to us saying come on, in, the living is fine. And what do we do? Do we jump in and go about living? No, we usually back off and take a freaking picture and, in a way, that's kind of where I'm at, and I think part of it is coming out of my last four-year chapter of life and that book that I put up Because I am fully aware that my history doesn't define my destiny and I have learned many, many what not to do lessons, and so there's a huge part of me that's like all right, let's go.

Speaker 1:

Let's go, come on, we know where we're heading. And that's kind of laughable because really the destination is unknown. We really don't know where we're going, right. I do know that I don't want to look back because I'm not going that way, but as I walk this and walking is so good for us, whether we walk away like I did 22 months ago and thought that my relational life was probably going to be just me and God going forward, and there were many moments I thought that I didn't think that my husband was going to do any self-work, that he was ever going to have a desire to transform himself, like we all need to do in life. And lo and behold, that very walking away is what the catalyst was for both of us to grow so much exponentially as individuals. And now together we are growing not only deeper as a couple, but I know that we will go very far as a couple, a power couple, so to speak. Right? So, all of that being said, what the heck Terry? What the heck Teresa Marie? Because you see, that's where I'm at. I'm in that space between the hippie freak of the South, terry Wilson, and Teresa Marie, the traveling ambassador of Chi, which, of course, is my destiny.

Speaker 1:

And that in-between stage, well, coming out of a big, huge lesson, I think that there's a big part of me that I've been avoiding. As Sharon Crystal says, the shadow demons or our fears that you've been avoiding will keep you stuck in a rut, a prisoner in your own life, and it's time to break free and shine Now. What are those fears that might be keeping me in the rut? Well, I think I am afraid of making yet another huge mistake, because, you see, I believe all of us have this purpose, and it's much bigger, it's huge, and taking on a huge purpose is scary, because we are used to mundane, predictable lives, we are used to being in the safe zone, we are used to being happy right where we are right, and that is something that we need to do. We do need to be happy right where we're at, but the truth is, when we're in this place of indecisiveness or non-action, it is kind of like being in a rut, and it's in those very rut-like places that we are being challenged to expand and grow.

Speaker 1:

Now, right now, where I'm at going into my sixth week home, have I expanded my classes? Not yet. Do I have a forum to do so? Absolutely. I have students asking me all the time. So what the heck is it? What the heck is it? Well, terry, over here on one side of the rut is saying man, you know, I've been teaching this class for two years and you know I still have just only a handful of students. What's the point? And then Teresa Marie, on the other side of the rut, is saying your students keep telling you what a fantastic teacher you are and how it has changed your life. Aren't you the person who is saying you want to make a difference, you want to impact as many people on this planet? What the heck? Oh, yes, so there's this battle.

Speaker 1:

And sometimes we stand in the middle and we say, ah, you know, right now, walking the dogs in the morning, having coffee with my husband, being out in my yard, reclaiming my yard by little, by little, clearing space and I think that's what I'm doing internally too, and spiritually and emotionally I'm still in that clearing out of the old space. And, yes, those shadow demons, those fears, are right there looking at me and I'm looking right back at them Because, see, I know that, even though I may be limping and I can take that in the physical sense because, you know, ever since my knee's been replaced, my walking and my stair climbing is kind of limping Will I ever get full mobility. I am believing, absolutely yes, from my mouth to God's ears. Am I limping a little bit after my last escapade, after my last adventure in Florida? Why, yes, I am. And why is that? That was a big, huge hit.

Speaker 1:

When you think that you have found the cat's meow, you have found your purpose. You are careening down that road of purpose and all of a sudden your colored glasses fall off your face and you realize that this purpose is not reality. It is yet another program, it is yet another ploy for greed and for ego and it's like another kick in your belly. You know how it is, humanity, all of my brothers and sisters, right now, if you have just come out of a huge kick in your belly, whatever it is in your life, a biggie, you know. And when we're in it we say the biggie, biggie, you know. And when we're in it we say the biggie until the next biggie comes along. Right, and we begin to realize that every path that we take, it's called a path because they're made by walking. My woods never would have walking paths in them if I never encourage my husband to walk in the woods with me. And it's so funny.

Speaker 1:

Now I have that physical picture, and very soon, you know, as autumn is beginning to be ushered in. It was 52 degrees here in Middle Tennessee this morning when we walked the two snow dogs and I was thinking, oh, because this summer girl loves the heat. I love, love, love the heat. 52 is like winter to me, okay. And I looked at my beloved trees on my country road and again here it is my 17th year in this home and yet another tree has begun the color show, because every year it seems to be a different tree on our road starts to turn first. It's as if they say, oh, look at me, I'm the leader of the pack this year.

Speaker 1:

And as we walk through life, seasons change and we're often in these spaces of just. It's kind of like a void. We're not in the past, we're not quite in the future and we're just walking day to day. And we need to remember that what Eckhart Tolle said is very true, and that is that the only thing that is ultimately real about our journey is the step that we are taking at this very moment, because that is all there ever is. So as I walked this morning, I thought can you just accept that right now you're in that little void, that you are still able and you are blessed and God is still directing you, but right now just doing mundane tasks, just taking one step in front of the other. Is it okay to accept that that's what it is? Is it okay? The hippie freak of the South who always was, in fact, a former boss of mine, just recently said well, terry always was a rebel. Oh, and the rebel rebel, you know, always wanted to go on adventures New, new, new, new. And so maybe it's weird that now Teresa Marie, the ambassador of Chi, is just allowing herself to be in a regular space, not in a great adventure, and maybe that's what feels so weird to me.

Speaker 1:

Because, you see, I have everything in place. I have students wanting me to teach and I have not pursued a building. We're still meeting outside and I know that at 52 degrees in the morning, we're looking at maybe six, eight weeks and I'm going to need an inside building. Have I pursued a building? No, I haven't. Why is that? I am not sure yet, but that's where I'm at. I have an incredible program that I have been dabbling yes, just dabbling with from Tony Robbins and Dean DeGrasio. I did this program 30 years ago, I did it five years ago and I thought two months ago that I was completely ready to move forward and get my stuff out there, my coaching, my courses. Am I still able to do that? Absolutely, have I started? I've taken maybe one step and immediately my old self oh well, see, you can't do anything, you can't complete anything, you're never consistent. So there it is. Wow, as I'm literally recording this podcast, there's the answer.

Speaker 1:

My old patterns are trying desperately, like Klingons, to remain and I know that this little rut, this little void that I am, is challenging me to expand and grow. But is it okay to just pause right now? Is it okay for me, however long my body, mind and soul feels the need to just be, to not make any major plans, to not do the three-step forward, two-step back? How about I just accept that right now I am in a space between adventures and lo and behold, that space of no adventure for me. Who always wants to adventure? I am one impetuous woman which has got me into a lot of predicaments where I've learned lots of what not to do right. So for me, a challenge and a growth expansion would be to sit outside of an adventure and know that it's going to be okay To tell myself, oh, you know, as my old tapes, my old patterns are screaming at me you're limping, you're limping, you're never. No, I'm still walking, dude, do you see me? I walked the dogs this morning, still walking, dude, do you see me? I walked the dogs this morning. I walk three times a day again now. Oh, I'm still walking, and each time I walk I am making a pathway. It just might not be time yet for me to enter into the next adventure. And you know, it's so funny. It's so funny. I think it's Adam or something.

Speaker 1:

Holmes, am. Holmes said this. He says so what does stuck mean? It means I should make some big decisions, I should do some enormous thing. Oh, buddy, am I feeling this? And right now I can't do anything. Right now I can't stand my life. I can't change it. Now, that's how I feel, but that is not the truth. I'm very aware of that right is not the truth? I'm very aware of that right, but that's what's screaming at me make a decision, go forward, you know. Take a sprint, massive action, come on, you can do this.

Speaker 1:

This is what I'm hearing in my head and I know I need to make a decision to get my time management better and I've asked my husband to help me. And what does my dear husband say? He points to his chest, he pats his chest and he said I can encourage you, babe, but that self-discipline comes from right here. And I'm like oh, I love this man and he exasperates me at the same time. Why? Because I wanted him to give me a plan. I wanted him to to say X, y, z, 1, 2, 3, this is how you do it. And guess what? To find out where you belong, you have to do it, you have to go on the adventure, you have to go on the solo flight, right?

Speaker 1:

So to finish, am Holmes' little conversation in his own head well, I should do something enormous, and I can't do anything. I can't stand my life and I can't change it. And it says well, maybe it's not an enormous thing. He says, maybe you have to do just one small little ditty thing and then another small little ditty thing. So right now, as I'm talking into this microphone, I'm doing actually a very huge thing.

Speaker 1:

I am consistently recording just about every day. I am about 98% consistent on my podcast. Woo-hoo, yes, I'm patting my back here and there will come a time. There will come a time where it will be sprint time, because here is the truth Nobody's situation is ever permanent. It's what you make it, because life isn't a solid, it's fluid. It changes moment by moment, and one moment you might feel like you're in the void, and one moment you might feel like you're on the fast track to a new way of being and everything in between. And then, of course, I have to remember what Rumi said Stop acting so small, teresa, marie, for you are the universe in a static motion.

Speaker 1:

Am I there today? Am I following my bliss? Well, currently, my bliss, literally, is Right now. All I can think about is not wanting to do anything but go out in my backyard and work on another project. That's all I can think about. That, to me right now, is bliss Now.

Speaker 1:

Is that my purpose? No, my purpose is to make the greatest impact on the greatest amount of people while I am here on the planet, on the greatest amount of people while I am here on the planet, and that purpose for me is to be fulfilled through my gifts of communication. I know this, do I know? How? Do I know when? No, I don't.

Speaker 1:

So each day, I walk away from things that do not serve me anymore, like beating myself up because I'm not walking fast enough, in my opinion, to expansion, to my destiny. And yet life is always walking up to us saying come on in, the living is fine, but for today, maybe I want to take a picture and I can walk away from that self-condemnation and know that soon, and very soon, my destiny will continue to unfold, even as it's unfolding right now, as I'm pausing to take some pictures, pausing to see and ponder and consider, and only moving when God tells me to move. And that is walking, maybe not the way I think I should be walking, but every step is movement. So, if you've had a big old blow and you're in recoup mode, maybe it's best to not venture into an adventure just yet. Maybe you just need to step off on the sidelines for a little bit, like Teresa Maria's done, and gear up.

Speaker 1:

Because see, this whole evolution, transformation process, oh buddy, it can be quite exhausting and it can really feel like your whole life is being sucked out of you. And how do we continue? Well, we allow ourselves recoup time. We allow ourselves plenty of time to just be. Are you free to just be today? Well, I hope. Wherever you are in the process, that for you it will be an absolutely wonder-filled Wednesday. Until next time, peace out.