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Breaking the Cycle: From Abandoned Child to Estranged Parent

• Terri Wilson

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The fragile architecture of family—our first community and foundation for identity—is crumbling at an alarming rate. This episode delves into the heart-wrenching reality of family estrangement through both statistical evidence and raw personal testimony.

I share my journey through the painful symmetry of karma: how I abandoned my own family as a young adult, only to experience my own children walking away decades later. The statistics are staggering—one million American children experience divorce annually, one in two adults is estranged from a close family member, and political differences now drive 20% of family separations. But beyond the numbers lies a deeper spiritual crisis.

What happens when we break the sacred bonds of family? How do unresolved childhood traumas perpetuate cycles of abandonment across generations? I explore how emotional neglect—often invisible and unacknowledged—creates wounds that echo through time, as children who felt unseen grow into parents who unconsciously replicate these patterns.

For parents and grandparents experiencing the excruciating pain of estrangement, I offer both compassion and challenge. The path forward isn't about forcing reconciliation but about doing the difficult inner work of "mind tracing"—confronting our past mistakes without shame, releasing guilt, and standing firm in love even when it's not reciprocated. Our healing journey isn't just personal; it's a powerful counter-force against the societal disintegration we're witnessing.

Whether you're the one who walked away or the one left behind, this episode invites you to see family division through a wider lens—one that acknowledges both karma and grace, personal responsibility and divine timing. The awakening journey accelerates when we face our pain with courage, transforming disintegration into resurrection.

Subscribe to continue this exploration of authentic freedom and learn how breaking generational patterns of trauma can restore not just our families, but our collective humanity.

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the basic unit of any society is the home, and when the home begins to break, society is on the way to complete disintegration. And I want to welcome you back to this fantastical Friday of Free to Just Be, the podcast empowering humanity to courageously step out of old patterns and matrix programming and embrace a brand new way of being programming and embrace a brand new way of being, and I hope this finds you in the greatest health today, with vibrant energy, because you have chosen to accept the full responsibility for your body, mind and soul. Here on Free To Just Be, I'm going to attempt to inspire each other to truly be who we came here to be Authentic, free and aligned with our highest potential. Please hit the like button and share it with somebody and join us all on this transformative journey to rewrite our narratives and live lives of purpose and passion. And today, today, it's a really hard episode for me and I'm going to try my best to hold it together and I want to dedicate this to all the and I understand in ways that I never wished I did. But I want to open today's episode regarding the family with some statistics.

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Do you know that today in our society, 1 million American children experience divorce each year. 31% of children under six experience divorce before they're even fully emotionally developed. Let that sink in for a minute. Divorce brings in poor economic outcomes and educational outcomes, increased mental health issues, and 3.2% of children are more likely to experience anxiety and depression because of it. Only 42% of children age 14 to 18 live in a first marriage family. Teen to 18 live in a first marriage family Today.

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Statistically, political affiliation is the most significant reason for family estrangements. One in two adults today is divided from a close family member. One in five in today's society cite political views as a reason. These disconnects often involve severing all communication, including through other family members, and blocking all social media. This has become most common in adults under 35, who now have the tendency of prioritizing relationships aligned with their beliefs above any ancestral links and to put their own mental well-being and growth ahead of any kind of family objections. Wow, I'm still just floored by those statistics.

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And yet I am part of those statistics. I am not one of those children that experienced divorce ever. My parents were married over 25 years before my dad passed, before my dad passed, but I am one of those that was under 35 who decided that I didn't like the way my family thought and so I left. So I am part of the statistics as far as children go. As far as children go Because I literally emotionally and mentally checked out of my family when I was about 12. And after my dad passed, at about 14, all I could think about was getting away. So I am definitely part of those statistics.

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Now, if you would have told me back then that I would be a statistic of one of the parents completely separated from some of their children, I wouldn't have believed you. Because you see, when I became a parent, I was absolutely sure and determined that I was not going to quote unquote, do what I felt was done to me, which I reiterate, and I've said many, many episodes prior that I know that my mom and dad love me, but I did not realize that when I was growing up I was distanced emotionally, I was emotionally neglected. I was the baby of six kids and whatever the reasons, which I will never know, because I never had those conversations with my mom and dad before they passed. My dad was gone when I was still a child and my mom well, I wasn't fully awakened to what life is really about before she passed. So I never had these questions about how they were raised and what caused them to be emotionally unavailable for me. So I will never know their actual reasons.

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But if you look at the societal breakdown and the attacks on the family by those who are trying to destroy us, especially here in America, and before I get into the meat of this, I want to highly suggest that if you don't think that there is actually a plan, a plot against us that you can track, that you can literally see through the course of history, then I highly suggest that you look up the movie, the documentary called Beneath Sheep's Clothing, and your mind will be blown. Because when you see the facts and you see how much America is now literally playing out the path of communism, oh you say what? What are you talking about? We live in the freest nation in the world? Yes, we do currently, but, as I refer many times to the proverbial pot of boiling frogs, we are reaching a critical mass situation in our world and I'm not here to push my own agenda.

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I'm here to point out some facts and statistics, which I already did, but basically the reason I'm here is to identify and reach out to all the family members whose hearts are broken because of this disintegration. Broken doesn't even speak to the pain of being separated from your family members. It is a deep, deep anguish to be abandoned by your own children, to be abandoned by your own children, because if those of your own blood forsake you, you truly feel forsaken and in recent days I was thinking, oh my God, I just how can my own creations, my own five children and then I have two beautiful children from my husband that I've known since they were four and two, so I consider them mine. How can my own creations not want anything to do with me? Is the question that many parents ask, is the question that many parents ask. And then I thought about my own creator and how it just hit me right in my heart how much anguish God, our creator, must truly feel when we turn our back on Him.

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And in real time. I can tell you that having about four of our seven children completely disconnect from us is absolutely heart-wrenching and heartbreaking. Disconnect from us is absolutely heart-wrenching and heartbreaking. And what can we do about it? We can try to keep communication going, but it becomes very, very difficult when our younger children as the statistics stated, this is very prevalent in adults 35 and younger. And why is that? Well, if you watch beneath sheep's clothing, you will understand that, year after year after year, it's been coming like a freight train that we just didn't recognize, with the introduction of two people having to work outside the home, people having to work outside the home, with the introduction of school systems who saw themselves as the bridge between families, which was a huge lie, giving up our parental rights to let our schools shape our family, our children's minds. And, little by little, here we are today with a family absolutely disintegrated. What did Billy Graham say? When family is destroyed, society will eventually disintegrate, and we are in real time witnessing that disintegration.

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Now I want to also talk about karma. You know the easiest way to describe it without going into the Hindu or Buddhist belief of karma and reincarnation and how you repeat and repeat I'm not going to go there today but karma, the basic way to believe it, would be what goes around, comes around, cause and effect. What you sow is what you're going to reap. Very true concepts. And then I take you to the old adage, which is also incredibly true, that hurt people hurt people, and often it's without even consciously being aware that you're doing it. I certainly was not aware that as my children were growing up, I was emotionally neglecting them as well. Oh, and then you know, the people who want to destroy family would say well, that's why you don't have multiple children, because you know you can't give them the attention they need. And these are all lies, you know. And and then there's the whole society that has walked away from the concept of honor your father and mother so that it will go well with you. And the scriptures that talk about the things that will happen when you don't honor your parents. And honoring your parents doesn't necessarily mean believing everything that they believe, but it certainly means having a continual relationship with them. And yes, there are very, very toxic families.

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But where does the disintegration cease? Where does it end? Well, we're given an incredible opportunity in today's world because of what is occurring on our planet right now, and I want to refer to an awesome scripture. Today is the 19th, and God led me to Psalm 19 today and I want to read just a few verses to describe for you, in the awakening arena, in this evolution, the biggest evolution and energetic shift the planet has ever undergone. I want to align scripture with that shift in Psalm 19. And it says this, and it says this the heavens and before I go further, I want to remind us earth is not it, folks. God, our creator, is so much bigger than just the earth, and if we think earth is it, then we're pretty dang arrogant, because he created all of creation and there are many, many, many galaxies that we can't even see.

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So when he is referring to the heavens, he's speaking of all of it. Right so? The heavens declare the glory of God. The skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day, they, the heavens, pour forth speech. Night after night, they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world. Now, I want to just give you a little detail about that, because all around you and I, he is speaking to us when we look up at the sky, when we look at the trees, when we feel the wind, when we hear the waves of the ocean, when we walk barefoot on the grass, when we hear the birds, when we hear the laughter of our children. He is speaking to us and we are not listening. He is giving us every opportunity, every day, to notice him.

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So I continue and read a little bit more from the Bible to show you how it aligns with this awakening journey. We're on In the heavens. He has pitched a tent for the sun, the Eshuen, which is like a bridegroom, coming forth from his pavilion, like a champion rejoicing to run his course. It rises at one end of the heavens and makes its circuit to the other. Nothing is hidden from its heat. That is the point that we're at humanity.

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He is in his pavilion, he is God, is our bridegroom, and Christendom will continue to say that Jesus is coming back, and I happen to believe that he's right within us and it's not his job to come back. When he came, we killed him. If he came again today, don't you think that we would do the same thing again? And, oh my gosh, I would sound like a heretic to many Christians, but I happen to believe that we are called to work out our freedom, our salvation, from the inside out. He is raining down light and love on this planet and nobody, nothing, is hidden from the power of his love and light. So, as all the darkness is rising up and might I remind us that we already know the outcome Darkness goes to the pit of hell forever and ever. The devil goes to the pit of hell forever and ever. He's cast out, never to be seen again.

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So ultimately, you and I, humanity, we do win, but it is our job to get back to being Christ-like. He came and lived three years on this planet to show us how we're supposed to live. He resurrected from the dead and stayed for 40 days to show us all the power that we have within us. Yes, to even walk through walls, like he did, and to rise into other dimensions. Oh, and there are those in the Christian world that would say Are you saying you're like God? Yes, we were made in his exact image and that is who we need to get back to. And so, as this evolution continues and light continues to get brighter and brighter on the planet, we have these cataclysmic events. To what to further divide us? No, in his mercy and grace, he is giving us opportunity after opportunity to turn towards him, to turn towards each other, to rectify all the karma.

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Let's go back to karma for a minute. Do you think for a minute that Teresa Marie, an ambassador of his chi chi, being his very Holy Spirit, the intrinsic life force, energy that created everything, and we are all ambassadors. We all hold that spark of God and we're all asked to share it, and that's what I do every time I get behind this mic, I try to share a little bit more, a little bit more of God's love throughout the these episodes. I want to refer to what Sri Prambaba said, and I quote in order to truly fulfill the purpose of life, which is to become what Conscious of oneness, we, millenniums ago, go back to the Garden of Eden. We were one with everything. Everything was bliss. Bliss is where God lives Love, light, freedom from all that disturbs us. There is no division, there is no color, there is no right or wrong, there is no black and white, there's no duality. We are all connected and we are all one. And so, in order to truly fulfill the purpose of our lives, to truly fulfill the purpose of our lives, which is to become conscious of oneness, baba says we must eradicate violence from our system Now we're talking our personal system here right, our temples, our body, minds and soul Violence toward ourselves, towards all beings, of all realms. And he says I am speaking of the violence rooted where, in traumas, in shocks of pain, in our humiliations, our rejections, our exclusion that we have experienced throughout our life. We are responsible to eradicate all of those. So now let's roll back to the karma.

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So when I felt like my parents emotionally neglected me now I did not recognize it as that Heck. You can look back at an episode I was in my 60s before I was probably 60 years old when I found the works of Joanie's I can't remember her last name now and she wrote the book about CEN child emotional neglect. I didn't know that when I was five and six. I just know that I felt less than I felt unseen, unseen and unheard. These are my childhood traumas.

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And then what ended up happening? I took my traumas and, instead of dealing with them, I went on. I was a child, having children, I might add, because when you have trauma as a child and it's unresolved, you are emotionally, spiritually and mentally stunted, stunted. And what do you do until you figure that crap out? I replicated the same way that I saw growing up and I unconsciously emotionally neglected my children. And now here I am.

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Now, mind you, as I said earlier in the show, I checked out when I was 12. I left my family home when I was 18 years old, put my thumb out on the Brooklyn Bridge and I went back to my family home six times in 50 plus years Six. I'm ashamed of that now, but there is no shame and there is no condemnation in God, so I erase that statement that I just made. However, the karma I left and as a mom now I am experiencing the pain of children who chose to leave our family unit. Now they haven't left. They're always going to be part of our blood pool, right, but for various different reasons. Several of our children have said nope, I am choosing to step away, just like I did.

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Karma's a bitch, folks, but you never realize that your choices are always it may be 40 years later are always. It may be 40 years later, but your choices are always going to have an effect. The cause, your choice, the effect, the result of that choice. It always catches up with you. Do you understand that? Now? I understand the anguish and the grief that I put my own mama through exiting and not saying where I was going, just leaving. All of a sudden I'm gone for three or four months, no contact. I cannot imagine the grief I put my mom through. Oh, but yes, now I can, as you are blocked, as you are told that you don't want any association because you don't believe in XYZ, and you choose to drop all contact. I have one of my children, who's now a grown adult with grown children, who's experiencing this and, as a mom, watching my grandchildren go through the same things that I did and feeling powerless to do anything about it, it breaks your heart. It breaks your heart. So all of the parents and grandparents out there that have watched their children and their grandchildren choose to leave your family lineage, for whatever reason, I feel you, I see you and I understand your pain. I see you and I understand your pain.

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Carolyn Myers said something that I want to close on today, and this is not meant to be a bummer. This is meant to be a wake-up call. If you're a parent or a grandparent and have not begun the process of working out your own salvation, of sitting in front of the mirror and working on your own childhood traumas, because they're not going away until you deal with them. You're not ever going to change until you deal with them. And then you know there's this other piece. You begin to change, you begin to get healed, and what Carolyn says is healing is, by definition, taking the process of disintegration.

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My life disintegrated when I left my family. Oh, there have been many ups and many mountaintop experiences with God, but, honestly, my life has been a struggle until about 18 or 20 years ago when I began down that path of realizing oh, it's me. I need to figure out why I'm unhappy, why I'm depressed, why I'm angry, why I'm full of anxiety. And it's been a long, arduous journey. But now journey. But now people in today's society have this wonderful acceleration of love and light. So, my 20-year process, which I get freer and freer every day, you have the opportunity, humanityville, to step on that process of disintegration.

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And what does she say? Healing is, by definition, taking the process of disintegration of life and transforming it into a process of return to life. That is our job. And if you get on the train of awakening, that train will take you back to life far quicker than it did 20 years ago. Mark my words. How do I know that? Because in the last two years, my awakening journey has been on rocket fuel, my relationship with God Almighty on rocket fuel, the healing of my traumas on rocket fuel.

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However, karma is still karma and I'm still living in the pain and anguish of watching and experiencing some of my children stepping away, just like I did, from my parents. It doesn't matter to them that I'm healed. They don't even know how healed I am. They don't even know who I am. Now I'm not the same mom that hurt them. I'm not the same mom that they knew two years ago. I literally have children who do not want to be around me because I reconciled with my husband, and I understand it, because my husband was a completely different person two years ago. He was the person I didn't want to be around. But they don't want to even enter into the arena of that possibility, understandably, because they experienced a lot of hurt.

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And so, as the light comes on and as we begin begin to change, and as we wake up and become more conscious and as our energetic vibrational signature begins to rise, there are people within our family that maybe aren't there yet, and so we feel even more of a division. Well, how can you be so happy and you know it might be good for you to, you know, do X, y, z, but I'm not feeling it. And so what do we do? We stand, we stand, and we remember that we are not victims. We are victorious over all of it. We stand in the love and light of God and we shine out. And when we're triggered, we look at those triggers. You know when something disturbs your peace, when your body gets tense, just like we talked about in yesterday's episode, that's an indicator of something that you need to deal with.

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When I door dash and I drive in to the very complex that one of my children live in and cannot run in and hug my youngest grandbaby, it absolutely tears me up and sometimes you might see me on the road just crying down the road. But you see, this mom knows that I have got to let that adult child of mine figure it out on their own, just like I had to do. Because, you see, just like I, I didn't want to hear anything from my parents when I chose to walk away and I'm going to do my own thing and I'm going to have my own life. And, oh, maybe every once in a while I'll let you know what's going on, but don't try to advise me.

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I'm a grown-ass adult. I understand it, I completely understand it, and now I understand fully how my mom and dad were saying. You know, my mom used to say Terry, you're just a bad picker when it came to relationships. And now, in retrospect, she's gone, she's in heaven. I can't even tell her. You know what, mom, you were right. And all that time I didn't have with my family and my siblings Because I chose to step away. I chose my own way. I chose to dishonor my mom for a lot of years, because to honor your father and mother means to at least have the respect to keep them in your life. My husband as well. He left his family home in Yakima, washington, and pretty much never looked back. He continued to visit his dad, but all of that support of his cousins and his siblings lost.

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And now, in our late 50s and early 60s, we recognize what that did to our life trajectory and we see the same thing that our children and grandchildren are choosing. And yet we know that we have to keep our hands off and we pray and we pray, and we pray for unity, and that they will understand that this division is literally by design, that the devil comes in to seek to divide, kill and destroy all life and to resurrect life is up to us. To come back to God is up to us. It's a choice. It's free will. It's a choice, it's free will.

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Now, I happen to believe that there's going to be a huge split. There are going to be those that literally do go into the fifth dimension and there are going to be those that decide that they want to stay here in duality, in the third dimension. This is what, like left behind is all about. It's energetic folks, because when it comes right down to it, we are not this body, we are not this mind, we're not the emotion, we are pure energy, and that's what we return to as energy. How do you think people can be seen by others from the afterlife? It's because we literally will have the ability to go from one dimension to another, and I know that that's far-fetched for some other people, and I'm sorry that you don't believe that yet, but that's the truth. And I'm sorry that you don't believe that yet, but that's the truth.

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So, to all the parents out there that are struggling today, I want us to take heart and I want us to take the reins of our life back and if that is the case and there are children that you gave birth to or raised that are alienating you right now, know that your job is not to beg and plead. Your job is to get on your knees and pray for them and, yes, reach out when you can. But if they say I need the space, then do them the honor and respect of giving them the space, even though your heart is breaking. Let them evolve as well. And in the meantime, you sit in front of that mirror and you, if you, mind tracing is not fun, folks. Mind tracing is not fun, folks, going back and looking at your life path and sitting with your decisions is painful.

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I am very grateful that I finally shed the guilt and shame that I carried most of my life about my children, because I know I made mistakes, but I am no longer under that shame and guilt because there is therefore now no condemnation for them that are in Christ Jesus. Now I have been walking with the Lord for well over 40 years, but I still hung on to that shame and guilt and I am grateful that I was able, by the grace of God, to release myself from that, because if I wasn't able to detach from that shame and guilt, right now, as my children are rising up and they're awakening and they're looking at their childhood traumas, they're doing exactly what I did. They are looking right to me. I'm the source, my husband's the source. We're the source of the pain and yes, we were. And eventually they will recognize that as they look through their life, their choices led them to where they're at and they have to deal with their childhood traumas.

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And so I pray for the day and the time where they come to us and they say can we talk to you about this particular situation that happened when we were six or when we were 12 or whatever, because all things can be worked out, but the society we live in now, oh no, do your own thing, put your walls up. People need to respect your boundaries. And what does that evoke? It evokes the pain staying within us, because you know folks, often you have to go right to the source and you have to confront that pain. And then you have to have conversations that are awkward and uncomfortable and would cause anger, and maybe you need to take it in little bitty steps, but eventually you look at the pain that was done to you and the pain that you caused and you eradicated from your life. That is where true life begins. That is where true freedom begins.

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So, to those of you that are in the midst of the shame and guilt of your parental mistakes, know that you had mistakes made to you. Know that your children are going to make mistakes. Know that your grandchildren are going to make mistakes. I have grandchildren that cried when I went into a church service a church that they were attending and said oh Grammy, we're so glad to see you. And in my spirit I'm breaking. I'm thinking do you not even know who I am? Do you not know that I was praying for you before you even were in the womb of your moms, and that I've been walking with God for longer than you've been on the planet, been on the planet? But you see, they have quote unquote divorced themselves from us. They have no idea what goes on in the spirit realm of their Grammy, and that is heartbreaking and I don't wish it on anybody.

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But yet this is what being human is all about. God gave us the gift of coming down in this duality and experiencing every emotion, just like he did. It is our opportunity to act Christ-like in the midst of all the anguish, in the midst of all the turmoil. That is what we're called to do. How about you? How about you, humanity? So pray for one another. Seek love and light towards anybody that you possibly can, especially if it's not being received by your own children and grandchildren. Just keep on keeping on that path of awakening and coming into full consciousness that we are all one, because if you don't do it, parents and grandparents, how in the freaking world are our children and grandchildren going to know how to do it? I love you, humanity, and I know you love your children and grandchildren and they love you. Just give them the space they need to work out their own salvation, need to work out their own salvation. Have yourself a blessed weekend and love, love, love on everybody you can. Peace.