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The Fullness of the Void

• THeresa Marie

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When the noise drops out and the room goes still, what meets you in the quiet—fear or possibility? I share a raw stretch of days where overtime blurred the edges, old habits knocked at the door, and the familiar loop of thoughts wouldn’t let go. That spiral forced a stop, a car ride home with tears as compass, and a clearer view of the void we all meet: the one that swallows purpose and the one that opens to peace.

We trace both faces of emptiness through quotes, stories, and practical tools. I walk through HALT—hurried, angry, lonely, tired—and how the grind, less sunlight, and numbing comforts can make the void feel harsher. We talk about shedding identities tied to parenting and grandparenting, the loneliness that follows real growth, and the awkward gap when loved ones can’t or won’t meet you at your depth. From there, we pivot to the practices that actually move the needle: morning stillness, breath with a simple mantra, scripture in your ears, frequencies that soothe the nervous system, and non‑negotiable time with trees, ocean, and sky. Stillness becomes motion without moving—a way to let emptiness turn into capacity instead of craving.

Along the way, we explore the danger of filling the vacuum with whatever arrives first and why discernment matters. We frame the holidays as catalysts, not traps, and borrow courage from the Wright brothers’ first flight—risking lift before certainty. If you’ve felt the flatline where joy goes quiet, consider it a sign that something unhelpful is dying off. Hold the space rather than stuffing it. Then, when joy returns, it lands as strength, not a buzz. If this resonates, hit follow, share it with someone who needs a steady voice, and leave a review with one practice that helps you stay present in the quiet.

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SPEAKER_00:

If you look long enough into the void, the void begins to look back through you, said Nietzsche. And I welcome you back to Free to Just Be. I'm Teresa Marie, an ambassador of Chi, and I'm here to hopefully help humanity reconnect with God, nature, movement, and each other. So if you're ready to step the heck off the Matrix Merry-Goran and back into your true self, make sure to like, subscribe, and share this message with someone who needs it. Shall we begin? I uh I left work today at 1 30. I have time that I can do that, and uh I just I couldn't be there anymore. Um I'm experiencing what many of us who have been journeying on this uh ascension uh uh dance that we're in um are familiar with the void. And that's what I want to talk about today. Um when I was uh pulling down my street, I I was I still had tears streaming down my face. And I was thinking I'm gonna come in and I'm gonna in a raw way share what it's like to be right in the middle of the void. But Spirit didn't want me to share it that way. I had to come to the other side of it and uh kind of do a collection of everything that occurred and uh then come and share. So I want to start just by uh defining the word void. It's an empty space. It's it continues on and on with no matter in it. It it contains nothing. It's completely lacking. It's a feeling of emptiness or loss. Some of the synonyms are vacant, deserted, hollow, a gap, useless or ineffectual. And that that sums up what the void is. And uh just out of my own life experience, I I want to share that there are different types of the void. And uh as the universe often does, the synchronicities when I came came to the house and I sat in my laptop and I told you that one of my favorite things to do is whatever issue that I'm experiencing in, I will s uh put in Google quotes about the void, for example. And uh I want to share some of the the insights that I received. You know, when you're first awakening, voids are um very tumultuous. Um and Stuart Turton uh has a quote that really describes what for me was one of the first voids that I experienced probably 20 years ago. And they are uh they come revisited in in the way he depicts them, uh, especially when there is another program or another false belief or another piece of trauma that you're getting ready to uh kick out of your life or finally delete or die to, right? I mean, they all mean the same thing, but and that is uh what Stuart says, the way he puts it is reason deserts me, rage pouring into the void. Every betrayal, every pain and sorrow, every regret, every disappointment, every humiliation, every anguish, every hurt, all of them, they're filling me up. That was my first taste of what a void is like. And that void it's it's empty of joy, it's empty of purpose, it's it's it is it is the dark night of the soul on steroids. That's that type of void. Then there's the uh other end of the spectrum type of the void. And C. S. Lewis described that one. He said, into the void of silence, into the empty space of nothing, the joy of life is unfurled. Now I've experienced that many times, especially out in Mother Nature, walking the woods, floating in the ocean, uh walking on the beach barefoot. Uh it it is a place of uh like perfect peace. It's where you uh put headphones on, but uh you're not listening to anything. It's the sweet sound of silence. So that's a a a different type of void. Well I've told you that 2025, I mean, it it's the 999 year, and I can really only speak for myself when I say that there were many, many, many things that I deleted from life. Um and I won't go into the list, it's uh and I I probably will before the end of the year, but um so many programs just left, so many ways of being. I uh this year um I I think in 40 years of seeking, I think 2025 was the most transformative year of my entire life. On this uh awakening uh journey, this journey to the unknown, we don't even know where we're gonna end up. And every day we just have to keep keep on going. And uh in that space of so much has changed. Um the void that I was experiencing the last two or three days um is the void of of aloneness, of feeling like I have stripped away so many onion layers, so many veils of unconsciousness. And I find myself standing in this barren place, you know, like I'm out in the woods and all the leaves are gone. We I've talked about how much uh honesty and truth you get from the trees, because they have their beautiful dance, and that was kind of like 2025. Uh, in about this the end of September, the start of October, just when the colors were starting to come on, um, that was when I I recognized just uh how incredibly um different I am than I was in January of 2025, uh, from my physical well-being, my eating habits, to the things I listen to, to the what I think about, to everything everything. Um my relationship with my husband, my relationship with my children, uh, my relationship to finances, uh, uh to the stage I am in my ascension, um, thinking that I I've progressed so much, and then feeling like I'm so far behind. And it, you know, and so it was kind of like this victory dance. And then here I am now, at the end, the very close of the year, and I'm feeling like those trees stripped down to the bare bones, all of my twists and turns, uh, and I'm out there all by myself. And uh having thoughts of uh, well, is this what it's like to awaken? Is this what it's like to get rid of these programs? And and then you're just out here all by yourself, and and then uh thinking about how I really am lacking people that are around my close, um, you know, where I can actually conversate with people that understand this ascension journey. And uh I'm I'm very separate from a lot of the people that I know that were part of that journey. And some of that separation is just the natural flow of things. Uh, you know, if if you haven't really been talking to these people, then it's easy to just, you know, continue in that mode. And then some of them I did talk with, but they decided to stay in something I couldn't stay in anymore. So then there was that door that shut. And some of it is the realization that some of the people that you thought were really uh one with you really weren't. And and then the real authentic people, um, some of them literally are still in Florida. And of course I can still speak to some of them, but it's not the same as being able to pull up and and uh drink a glass of wine and have a heart-to-heart with them. So all of these things are happening, and and um the last two or three days, um, you know that I've been and and then there's then there's the actual factual um uh evidence of what's what's led to this void that I'm very aware of because I've been through these voids before. I've been through the um the dying off of of parts of my life many, many times over. And uh so I know um that I have been on hell halt. And halt, of course, is a AA term, and it means hurried, angry, lonely, tired, and I talked about that a couple episodes back. Hurried being that um, you know, uh up at 3:30, travel to work in the dark, come home in the dark, so I'm um on that mandatory overtime time clock. So I'm very heavy into the matrix when it comes to that. So thus feeling the hurry, the, you know, we gotta get to the time clock, and oh, I, you know, I didn't uh didn't remember just how much I hated that until now that's where I'm at again. Um angry. Um there's this internal anger because this is what I want to be doing. Um, these are the the passions in my life, helping humanity, getting getting my material out. And because I'm stuck on that matrix merry-ground of this mandatory overtime, I'm inwardly furious that I can't pursue, you know. I mean, technically on this job that I'm on, the ideal shift is four days on, three days off. So I have three days to work on what I want to work on. But because it's mandatory overtime, that isn't happening. And uh so there's the the the inward anger, then it's the lonelies, you know. I'm going through the whole um disengagement, the whole um uh parental, you know, the child uh the my children are all going through their own journey, and and there's this distancing, and and I've spoken about that, Santa. So that's swirling around. And and um then there's the going back, doing the three steps forward, one step back, and and four nights in a row, um, I shared uh the good old twisted teas with my husband, like three, three um, four nights in a row. And you know, we know what alcohol, even that little bit of you mount, but when you're not drinking on a daily or even on a weekly basis anymore, then you do it for three or four nights in a row. Uh, what is alcohol? It is a depression. Uh or excuse me, it's uh um it causes depression. And uh and then there's the lack of dopamine hits because I have cut my uh social media and my online uh time on my phone in half at this job. And so there's all these different things that have fed into this void that I was experiencing, and there's been so much death of the old me. Um the the final remnants of Terry Wilson, the hippie freak of the South, is has already been deleted, and her fragments are trying to rise up, and my ego is trying to take back over, and and then there's my controller, and I'm seeing her so frequently, and I don't know what it would be like to completely let go of control. Um, I have moments where I do, and I recognize that that's the good void, where I just can sit and be and do those five or ten minute meditations, and it's so peaceful, and I know that that's where I need to head. And so, in the midst of these um tumultuous voids, you have to really be cautious because there's danger in being in the void and and being back in that place where, you know, um as Stuart shared, you know, reason deserts you and and anger's pouring into the void, right? And because what you focus on grows. And and that definitely, um, especially this morning, I mean, I I I got to work uh and it all, and my husband reminded me when I got home because uh my day started very weird. Um I usually get up at 3:30, I allow myself a good um 45 minutes to an hour in just self-care. Um, and that's something I'll talk about later in the week. Um, I have to have time with God. Um, time to read, journal, to do my moving meditations, and so I choose to get up that early, and I always set my um alarm on my phone, and I leave my phone in the kitchen, which is uh the opposite wall of our bedroom, and this morning my alarm did not go off. And I woke up thirsty as I usually do. I have water by the side of my bed, and my husband said, Uh, were you planning on getting up late? And I turn and look, and it's 10 minutes to five. And I go out and warm my car up at six o'clock, and I leave no later than 10 after six. That you know, my ideal is to leave at six. And so I that set the stage. Wah, there was the hurried again. And that was how I began the day. And um, I did get my mala meditation done on my ride in, but I I could feel the cortisol rise in my system. Um, you you get to the place where you really are in tuned with your body and and how your body operates, and I could feel the tenseness in my muscles, and so I got to work, and and all of the thoughts that I just shared with you, uh everything that is kind of um already died, and I already, you know, had my fire um goodbye, um, and then the remnants, and then all these little things that led up to getting to work, I couldn't shut them down. Um, they were spinning in my mind. Um, I was loop-de-looping, right? I and um as my dear brother um Michael, who does the um uh everyday, uh, I can't remember the name of his podcast, but he talks about the awakening as well. And, you know, he has been saying for a couple of months now that the only thing we're not gonna do is loop again. And I was looping. I was I was thinking about all this stuff and and how I didn't want to be in this void. And so I, you know, I have an arsenal and I I have this joy belt and I I am loaded with tools and I share them often, and I pulled out all of them. I put in 428 hertz music, I put in 528 hertz music, I uh listened to uh some of the New Testament um uh in the audio version. I I moved my body, I um listened to music. Um nothing, nothing. I mean, I could not get out of the loop-to-loop, and along with that, I had such physical exhaustion, which of course I knew it was an energetic um symptom that was happening, because I slept extra. I had a good hour and a half extra in the bed this morning, and I slept solid. So um, but I could not shake it for the life of me. And one of the beautiful things about working in an Amazon warehouse is they have a really good template, they do allow um plenty of uh personal time, and I had I still have plenty of hours, so I I was just like, you know what, I'm out of here. I'm out of here. This this job is not where I want to be, it is just over broke, and I I so want to be home here doing this, and so I left. And uh the whole way home, I'm thinking about all this stuff, and it really came down to um, you know, I I knew I needed. To get it out, but I didn't know how it was going to happen. And then the tears started, and tears are cleansing, and I never stopped them. And I just was thinking about, you know, uh my daughter who who uh is now full blown in that empty nest. Uh, she only has one daughter, and her daughter has been uh in another state for almost two months now, and uh she just lost a job, and and I was feeling for her. I had uh such empathetic feelings for her, and um knowing how I feel myself uh five years in uh to really the emptiness syndrome. Um and my kids have been gone for well over a decade, and I'm still going through it, and yet this is her first taste, and then that got me thinking about Humanityville as a whole, and how um, if you've never experienced the void, how incredibly dark and lonely um the first stage of the dark nights of your soul are. And that's why there are many of us that talk about the reality of what they're going through and share real-time stories about their experiences because it helps us. You know, um, it's uh then there's the the third, it's the in-between stage. And it's the uh Danielle Esplan says, the void inside me starts to fill. Okay, so now uh you just like I was doing today, I'm recognizing, okay, well, some of this is external. You know, I didn't have my time this morning. Um I have been lacking sunlight, so I've been lacking vitamin D, but more importantly for me, I I have a deep connection with Mother Nature, and that has been uh almost severed for the last six, seven weeks. And um, and I got to spend time outside yesterday, and then immediately I got thrust back into the warehouse, and so my body was having a hard time. So um the void, you you begin to the pieces begin to fit that you begin to figure this journey out a little bit, right? But your heart still has holes, as Danielle's explaining, and whatever it holds begins to run out, leaving me empty once again. And that's the day the danger zone. It's it's like you're in between two worlds, and we've talked about that before. So there obviously is still parts of my old self that are battling to stay alive while my higher self is is going, yeah, come on, let's go, let's just leave her behind already, right? And so this is the stage that it's kind of dangerous. Glenn Beck uh was quoted, um, probably not in this context, but it it's perfect, and this is the danger of empty. It says, he said, in the vacuum, created by what? Fear and ignorance and hunger and want, right? It's evil, not good, that rushes to fill the void. So here I am in the in-between, and I'm I'm you know, recognizing that there's still some death that has to happen in order for me, and I shared a couple of episodes ago about needing to really let go of my identity as a parent and as a Grammy, and and let it go. Um, and not not to say that I'm not a mom and a Grammy anymore, no, but my attachment to it, that my identity is folding because I'm I I'm not parenting and and I I don't have grandbabies in my life actively, and oh my goodness, right? So I have to let that go. And as this is happening, my lower self wants to fill that void. Like I I attempted three or four days in a row with the alcohol, right? So you have to be careful of it's kind of like um when Jesus spoke about the strong man and how um you know you can clear out evil from your soul, but if you do not fill it back up with good, with with his word, with the spirit of God, then guess what? That demonic force that you just kicked out is gonna come back with seven more, and they're gonna be even stronger, right? Excuse me, I got a frog in my throat. So, and then I came home and I um, you know, Shakespeare said it very eloquently that the empty vessel makes the loudest sound. So it my void was rattling, rattling, and I pulled up and my husband was home, and uh, you know, I'm trying to wipe the tears from my eye, and you know, immediately he and in his empathic skills, you know, he's like, Well, are you all right, you know, and and so I unloaded a little bit and I shared with him in probably way too no, not not probably in way too much detail. Um, I wanted so much to connect with him, to to uh have him understand where I was at in my evolutionary journey, and I wanted uh some feedback from him. And uh instead, you know, I I asked a question about his journey and it shut him down, and he was like, no, I don't I don't want to do this. I I don't want to be counseled right now. And um I could see him physically, everything. It was like he was trying to hold back what he really wanted to say, and I just had to accept that. And um it's it's true that if you jump into the void, you know, I really didn't owe anyone an explanation um to anybody, you know, who is standing there watching. I could have and I probably should have just said, I'm just going through some of my own stuff, and um uh, you know, we're good, there's nothing to do with you. This is my own personal journey stuff, and I'm just gonna go inside and and deal with it. And that's what I should have done. But that desire for connection, which is what Humanityville all all we all want that, but it's difficult right now because we're all at different levels of where we are in our own journey. And uh, I was very happy that my husband Roger shared that with me. And so now I understand that sometimes when I come out, um, and I I probably do sound very controlling that you know, this is your issue and this is what you need to do, when that really wasn't what I was trying to convey. I was just trying to convey connection. And so don't be surprised that when you're trying to be your authentic self and go a little deeper, that people are freaked out by that. And and then that makes it spin back into, oh, it's so lonely in this void, right? But I'm here to tell you that after three or four days, I am again attesting to you that I am on the other side of that void. I I'm looking at it very rationally and um understanding where it was I was and how I went through the middle. And now I want to talk about some of the um the answers, you know, how how we can come out of this and and understand that it's just part of it, because we are gonna go through these voids over and over and over again. Um, you can call them a void, the darkness, dark night of the soul. Um I I often refer to, you know, being in the fetal position, um, although now it's not so much the fetal position anymore. Now I I've been through enough of them that I I can kind of just breathe and let myself go through them for the most part. But one of the things that Jack Keruvak, if I I hope I pronounced his name right, he was uh a poet and very significant in the beat generation of the 50s. And uh they came out um and began reciting poetry, which ended up leading into the beatniks, you know, where they snapped their fingers and they would recite their poetry, and that was very um adverse to uh the traditional way of literature, right? And what they were doing is they were exercising their creativity. But Jack ha has a quote about the void as well, and it's one of the answers, and that is I quote, and still, the void is still and will never move, but I will be the void moving without having moved. Now that is a poetic way of saying peace be still. That's that's that is one of three mantras that I I say every morning with my mollow beads. It's the first one I recite 108 times, peace be still as I'm breathing, because that is where all the answers are in the stillness. That is literally where you begin to move out of the void without physically moving. You are energetically, spiritually moving all the time, even though physically we feel like there's no progress. And uh I uh I just I just think that that it was a beautiful way that he described it. Um and what did he do in that stillness? He literally uh made a big opening in into uh humanityville coming back uh into who they are. He opened that whole Beatnik generation, the whole sixties, and and everything shifted when he recognized the stillness in the void. So know that the void is sometimes gonna be um well not sometimes, the void is always going to be uncomfortable. This awakening journey, this ascension itself is always gonna be uncomfortable. Um Last Two, he also gave us a great quote that is the answer. The eternal void, which the word eternal means it never ends, we came from the void. And I was bemoaning that on my way home because I have distinct memories of the bliss of what it would be like to be in the midst of unconditional love, peace that you can't even explain, and just absolute joy and bliss. And some days I just wish I could go back there. That's where we came from, and that that void is beautiful, but there are other voids that we have to go through in order to get back home. So be careful what you fill your voids up with. And uh today is also the uh anniversary. 122 years ago, the Wright brothers, Orville and Wilbur, did their first flight in the air, and it was only like a couple of minutes long. But can you imagine the void, you know, as the propellers rolled and they left the ground not knowing how high, how long? I mean good things happen in voids. It's where we truly become our higher selves. So wherever you find yourself, and and and the holidays are a very catalytic time of voids. People um feel lonelier even in the midst of crowds, uh people are grieving uh the loss of loved ones of the of the past year, the first Christmas without them, there is the family gathering tumultuousness, there's the stress of the finances, and I just want you to know that if you are going into a void or in the middle, or just stepping out of one, you are an incredibly courageous soul. You are just like the Wright brothers, you are heading up an ascension ladder that you can't even see. What did Jesus say about faith? You know, he he said those that um saw the miracles, you know, that was well and good, but those that believed without seeing anything, oh buddy, they would even be more blessed. So you are courageous badasses out there in Humanityville. If you have been through any kind of night uh dark night of the soul, are you familiar with the void? Have you made it your friend yet? Do you understand that as Las Two said, the eternal void is filled with infinite possibilities? I'm really glad that I'm smiling right now. That was one of the questions I kept asking God earlier today. Where's where's my joy? The joy of the Lord is my strength. Nehemiah 8 10, that's my life first, God. Where's my joy? Because the void often is uh emotionless. It's like flatlining. And that is a good indicator that something is dying, dying off, being deleted and thrown into the fire because you no longer need it. What is that for you today, Humanityville? And if you are in the field position, I'm hugging you right now. Been there, done that, and we don't want a t-shirt that says it. Anywho, I hope you have a wonder-filled Wednesday evening, and that you'll take a few minutes to pause and ponder, see the this message. Like it and share it with somebody. Because every one of us out in Humanityville goes through the void. And tonight's message was for you. Peace!