I Blamed Honey, But The Twisted Tea Was Guilty Too

A blinking number on a scale can feel like a verdict, but it’s really a map. We open the door on a raw post-holiday confession and trace how “just a tablespoon of honey” and “just one can” stacked into a ten-pound reversal. No drama, no hiding—just the plain math of liquid calories, the emotional currents that fuel small permissions, and the resolve that comes from saying it out loud.

We walk through the pattern step by step: coffee sweetened five times a day, alcohol loosening boundaries, bread and pasta slipping back in, and the familiar loop of “I’ve earned this.” Then we flip the script with clarity and a concrete plan. You’ll hear why accountability beats shame, how to use simple tracking to slice through fog, and what a short, defined reset—like a guided water fast—can do for appetite, energy, and self-trust. Along the way, we talk nervous system care, sleep, and why rehydration and minerals are the quiet heroes of any comeback.

This conversation doesn’t glorify perfection. It offers a kinder, stronger path: remove the triggers, choose one measurable metric, and keep the next promise. If alcohol has become the gateway, set a clear container and swap in soothing evening rituals. If coffee sweetness is the pressure point, go unsweetened for two weeks and reassess. We’re reclaiming identity as action: authentic, accountable, and in motion. If you’ve felt the holiday slide or the weight of tiny choices adding up, you’ll leave with language, tools, and hope to turn toward yourself again.

If this resonated, subscribe, share the episode with a friend who needs a gentle reset, and leave a quick review to help more listeners find the show.

Transcript

Time Loops And Free Will

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Sometimes I wonder if having the ability to time travel back to certain moments in which our fears or our impulsiveness got the best of us and resulted in bad outcomes, that we would actually alter our behavior knowing what we do now, or if we'd end up loop de looping like we did the first time, surrendering to those outside elemental directives, thinking that we're incapable of deviating from some preordained essence of our character. Oh buddy, buddy, buddy I have some confessin' to do today. You see this uh this matrix will suck you in if you're not real careful. But first let me welcome you back to Free to Just Be, the podcast helping awaken Humanityville to move, breathe, reconnect, and remember who we truly are. And I'm your host, Teresa Marie, an ambassador of Qi, here to help guide us out of the noise of the world and back into the quiet truth within our own body, mind, and soul. And this is a space where I often brutally and honestly share things that everybody goes through, but nobody wants to speak about. And today is definitely one of them. And uh I'm gonna, I'm gonna, like I said, I'm gonna confess. I'm gonna open up and share my own little can of worms because we all go through this crap. So if you're ready to breathe again, feel again, get back in the flow again, and if you're ready to remember who you really are and why you came here, then you've come to the right place. And before I begin, I invite you to like, subscribe, and share this podcast with somebody you love. Because awakening is something Humanityville does better together, not alone. Ah, yes. Sometimes it's hard to be the host of Free to Just Be. Because one of the biggest things about this podcast that I share is being authent authentic authentic yeah, being authentic. I I can't even say the word this morning because uh I I haven't been true to myself in the last three weeks. I have been in a loop that I did not want to admit. But then a rather disappointing and sobering reality hit me in the face this morning. As I stepped on the scale, and let me just backtrack for a minute and say, I hope you had a wonderful and glorious Christmas day. I really did. It was uh I had some very sacred moments um of personal um meditation and prayer um early in the day. Uh my husband and I enjoyed a really nice um Christmas dinner together. We went and visited um some friends for about an hour in the afternoon, and then we had a visit from my bestie, who is now living in Louisiana, who came home to visit her children, and we got to see my dearest Helen yesterday too. And it was uh it was a great day, and it it's been a great month of of closing out 2025. Um, I had a lot of forward progress in many, many areas of my life, but there is this health area that I got sucked back in, as we often do during the holidays. We quote unquote unquote grant ourselves permission because it's the holidays, and so um I I just finished my morning journal entry, and uh I'm just gonna share it with you because it's it's my reality, and I know that I know, and I think many of us out there in humanity will know that when you illuminate what is happening, what is the actual truth, and you shed light on it, it can't hide anymore. It it's seen. And baby, I seen some stuff this morning that I didn't like. And immediately, as soon as I saw it, it was as if the spirit said, Oh, you've got to share that. And I'm like, oh come on, I don't want to share that. It's the day after Christmas for Pete's sake. Here I am. I'm gonna be authentic and I'm gonna share it. So Friday 1226, 2025, 422 AM A rather disappointing and sobering reality hit me in the face this morning as I stepped on the scale. I was down to 156.7 three weeks ago, feeling great, clothes falling off me. Then I chose, yes, Teresa, you chose, to drink multiple times, often two and three nights in a row. My justification? The end of the year. My sorrow and grief over what's happening with my children, part of which is my addictive behaviors. Many diff different addictive behaviors over the years, by the way. Part of my reason was my uncomfortability with adjusting with my husband's frequencies. My struggle, body, mind, and soul being back at Amazon. Oh, listen to the justifications here. And just wanting to let down. Oh yeah, I let down alright. I let myself down. I let you down, God. I let my future self down. I let humanity veil down. Oh, and I hear the voices in my head. Oh no one knows, no one cares. Oh just forget about it. But the consequences, the effects from the cause, my behavior is hard to forget when the blinking numbers staring up at me tell the truth of my choices. A hundred and sixty seven point two Yes, just like that, boom, ten and a half pounds, point six pounds away from where I started talk about backtrack. How it also wasn't just twisted teas, folks. No no no no. The reason I'm sharing this, revealing my own weaknesses, because we all have to remember that it was the quote unquote allowing. I allowed it. Not just twisted teas, I allowed a tortilla with my fish tacos one night, which led to pasta one night, which led to the French bread, to potatoes, to yes, even a piece of pecan pie, which I don't even like last night with our Christmas dinner. And it all began. Oh yes, I have backtrack it backtracked it to the root. And it was allowing honey in my coffee. Honey after all is so much better for me than sugar. Yes, honey's only forty calories more. It A tablespoon of sugar's forty nine calories. A tablespoon of honey is sixty four calories. Why are you doing this, Terry? Oh, I've called myself Terry. Why? Because the backtrack was all the way back to Terry Wilson, the hippie freak of the South. My old self literally rose up into the surface with the insidiousness, the little waves of itty bitty choices that we make. This is how we return to the loop-de-loops of life, right? So let me finish the the entry. And it all began by allowing honey in my coffee. No issue, right? Well, when you then drink four to five cups minimum in a day, Houston, we have a problem. That's three hundred and twenty calories daily just in my coffee, which by the way, I really should be backing away from and I had been for several weeks, for I don't need to raise my cortisol levels and mess with my one kidney and my nervous system. Then the next wave of reality hit me. I literally checked the calorie calories of a twisted tea just now. Folks one hundred and ninety four. So Theresa Marie, ye, who hates math, do the dang calculations. So on a typical day of coffee consumptions, five cups times sixty four calories equals three hundred and twenty. Adding just three little twelve ounce cans of twisted tea, one hundred and ninety-four calories times three equals five hundred and eighty-two calories. Holy smoke, that's nine hundred and two calories of liquid poison flooding my system. And now I see so clearly how just a few little insidious steps backwards took me ten and a half pounds backwards. Now, I could sit here and continue to bemoan what I did to myself. But I have now shared this and I've put this out, and it's the irony, the paradox. Because tomorrow I had already committed, I committed about five days ago, to join Laurie Ladd's SOAR community on an end of the year five-day water fast, which starts tomorrow. Perfect. Perfect God. Thank you so much. And thank you, Humanityville, for holding me accountable to putting my feet up against the hot stones for forcing my hand. Because you see, I cannot be at the helm of a podcast called Free to Just Be and be anything but authentic. And this is your host, Teresa Marie, who by the way still is an ambassador of Qi. And the clarity of thought and behavior that I have just uncovered. This is how we do it, folks. We have to brutally look at who we are, the choices that we're making, and the effects that those choices had. And I'm not gonna lie, it sucks. It sucks right now. But you know what? The day just started, and I've only had one cup of coffee, and it by the way, did not have any honey in it. And going forward, the honey is gone. Cause you see, I am one strong, courageous woman. I am still that child of God, and I am still on this ascension journey. Yes. Yes, I have set myself back some. And yes, I did go through seven and a half weeks of sixty hour shifts, a day off and repeat. Okay, big deal. Big freaking deal. I write I I digressed. I I am one of those all in or not people. And when I made the decision, oh you know, it's the end of the year, I and and that really was my decision, especially with the alcohol. I'm not going back. The end has come. And I danced with that demon all through twenty twenty five, going weeks without and then weeks with, weeks without, weeks with. And folks, I'm not even an alcoholic. But you can see the insidiousness, the justifications, the oh it'll be okay. Oh, it's it's just one twelve ounce can. Oh it's just one tablespoon of honey. And I put myself out there the day after Christmas, the day after a holy sacred time with God, to admit that, oh my gosh, I have fallen. I've fallen and I can't get up. Well, that ain't the truth. I've actually realized what I've done. That's what has occurred. And this is what I'm here to help us remember. We do not necessarily have to have that black and white, all or nothing, I'm in or I'm out attitude. Because that literally is not reality, folks. It's a process. And when we open our eyes and we're brave enough to look at what we're doing, what we're in, and the whys behind it. Now, I have had these issues my whole life.