The Grind

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A Promise Of Real Rest

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Are you tired worn out maybe burned out on religion? Come to me, get away with me and you'll recover your life. And I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me and watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.

Why I Almost Didn’t Record

SPEAKER_00 0:37

And I welcome you back to this tremendous thought-provoking Tuesday morning to Free to Just Be, the podcast where your host, that's me, Teresa Marie, an ambassador of Qi, has been sharing for some time her awakening dance of transformation. And today is no different. Um, today is one of those hard shows that quite frankly I've resisted since yesterday. I I should have come before the mic yesterday because I was in the midst of a huge battle, angry and frustrated and wanting to give up. And uh this morning God kept pressing on me that that's that's when I need to come and be real behind the mic, and eventually um the camera as well. I just don't have time before I leave for work to set it up. So let me just give you the scenario. Yesterday

The Warehouse Wall And Mind Battle

SPEAKER_00 1:40

at work, I I hit a wall, and as if you've been following me, many of you know that I am at 65 years old, I am still in an Amazon warehouse. And that is exactly where the enemy was punching and kicking and pushing, and and you know, you shouldn't be here, and you know, what kind of God do you have? And here you are still toiling, and and um, and I I was battling, I was battling big time, um, you know, uh saying, God, I don't want to be here. I, you know, I I need to be behind the microphone, I need to be standing before people, um, sharing, release and revive my moving meditations. I need to help people heal and get through all the things that I've gotten through. And here I am in this warehouse. And and this is how the enemy had my mind going. And at the same time as those thoughts were rearing up, I'm going, no, get behind me. I am the head, not the tail. Uh, greater is he that's in me. I can do all things. I don't know how many times, over and over again, I I would walk the aisles and just kept saying, I can do all things through Christ. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength because I needed strength. I I my feet were hurting, you know. Now, now in retrospect, this morning I recognized that I was literally walking in a physical ramification or um exemplification, is really what I should say, of the Matrix and the prison that this planet finds itself in. From my feet being shoved in these quote-unquote safety shoes, which is a which which is an absolute crock, right? And they're shoes that everybody complains about, they're so uncomfortable. And you know, we can go into the whole aspect of what shoes have done to turn off all the muscles in our feet and all of that. Then, you know, so that's the aspect. And then you're walking the aisles doing what? Picking all the excess, you know, because everybody, including myself and you, gets that dopamine hit from that Amazon truck pulling into the driveway. And here I am filling bin after bin of stuff that people need, quote unquote, to get that dopamine hit. And and and then, you know, it's looking at the people, and everybody's shoulders are bowed down, and uh if if they're working with headphones, they are tuned out of the world, and that was part of my issue. I uh my headphones broke on Friday, so I am doing this 10-hour boring ass job without any um dopamine, without any distraction, without any um, you know, I I want to say that yeah, I'm I'm learning, I'm um, I'm listening to music or podcast or the word or uh but it helps break the monotony and the boredom of this horrible existence and this job. And and then of course it was like, oh, well, see, you chose wrong, and and now look at your life, and here you are, and and you have no choice, you have to be in the in the grind until you die, and I and that is all a bunch of crap.

Choosing God’s Way Over The World

SPEAKER_00 5:29

But now let me tell you that what Theresa Maria is experiencing is is brand new, maybe to the majority of the world. There are, I don't know, there tell me, give me comments, let me know if this is what you're doing. I am learning new ways of being. I am learning to trust God emphatically and completely with my path. I don't want to do things the way the world's done them. And when I started doing that, you know, so let me give you the flip side. You know, some of this is imposter syndrome, quote unquote, you know, how much programming is in that, even, you know, and everything is suspect because we live in the little g gods world, right? And everything is just an adulteration of the truth. And when you know that, the frustration, I I felt like I honestly, Humanityville, I have not felt that much rage uh in a very, very, very long time. And I was slamming things into the bin and I just was so angry. And I even now thinking about it, I and and yet God was giving me this picture of the burden that everybody, you know, and money, and see, this is this is the the the part that is just so frustrating to me because see, I I've never been a material money girl. Um you can uh there there are women that would be blown away by my closet. My closet has so much room in it because I don't I it's just I've just not been uh big on fashion or or clothing and and and and so materialism has never been the thing for me. But the frustration that I feel, you know, like we all do, the cost of everything is so high that you have no choice, but both of you have to go out into society, into the grind, in order to just survive. When I know in my spirit that we are meant to thrive, and therefore what I am doing is like an experiment, an experiment out of the matrix. I am not following the trends, I'm doing the things that, you know, I only come behind this mic when God says go, which is weird to people. I'm I'm not consistently, you know, I consistently show up, yes, but I am not gonna get behind this mic unless I have something that God says I'm supposed to share. That's just who I am, right? And this is very opposite the matrix, right? And boy, I was getting pushed on that. Now, I have left the Matrix grind twice to launch into what I am doing, my podcast and and teaching my moving meditations, but that didn't avail me enough income to sustain myself, and that was my frustration. So yesterday it's just like, you know, how long? How long, God? I mean, five years I've been waiting to just be before humanity. All I want to do is help humanity full time. That's what I want to do. And I have resisted for a lot of years. Get behind the camera, I was told, for well over a year. I don't want to do that, and I'm I'm I don't know what I'm doing, and I had all these excuses. And the flip side of all this angst and anger and frustration and weariness is the things that God is having me do, that He's shown me to do. Just start videoing yourself out in the garden. When I speak to you outside, just record it. And so that's what I've been doing, these little tiny reels. And my mind is blown every day when I get these alerts that 500 people or whatever, you know, there's traction happening. Why? Because I am doing what he's told me to do instead of what the world tells me to do, right? And now I have um not one, not two, but I have three classes that are about to explode in my little town. And he's God has even revealed to me a group of people in my town, which I, you know, where were they three, four years ago when I was teaching? I I felt like I was trying to reach this brass ceiling in the middle of the Bible belt. Nobody wanted to do um, you know, an alternative holistic type of practice. And now suddenly so much more of humanity is awake that even in my little town of Shelville, there are groups and pockets of people that want authenticity, that want holistic um health care, that want um the truth, right? And and so all of these good things are occurring, and and my mission is moving forward. But oh man, did I hit that inpatient wall? I mean, how long? I mean, I I I literally I was railing at God in the warehouse yesterday. You know, how how long am I supposed to do this? And this this matrix sucks, and we all can say that. And

Credit Scores And Medicare Shock

SPEAKER_00 11:33

and I will share with you that, you know, for me especially, it's like uh five years ago or so, uh, it was about five years ago. See, I I I hadn't had a credit card in 18 years. I had no credit history. And when I uh wanted to go get myself a vehicle and get payments, I knew that I had to have a quote unquote credit history, which really should be nobody's business whatsoever, right? And and yet um when I entered into quote unquote the system again, well, we have no record. Uh there's zero, there was nothing about me. So I had to start from ground zero, right? And it's been quite the tumultuous ride, and I'm not there yet. I'm not, you know, up in the exceptional level. And then there's the the uh the real bite, the the real slap in the face when I turn 65. Oh, you know, you you have to sign on for Medicare before your 65th birthday. So I'm like, all right, you know, I I really don't want to do this, but you know, because I have not been in a doctor's office, y'all, in seven years. I am healthier than I've ever been. And yes, there's a case, oh, you might need healthcare and and blah, blah, blah, and all of that crap, right? So I sign on to Medicare. Now, here is here's where the matrix really gets in your face, and you recognize the extortion and the criminality of it all, of the of this broken system that we find ourselves in. So I sign up for Medicare two or three weeks before my birthday in February. And at the end of March, I get a bill for part B of Medicare for $800 in change, because they don't send you a monthly bill, they send you a quarterly bill. And so I I was kind of irate. It's like, you know, I haven't paid for any kind of insurance health-wise in seven years because I do not believe in the medical matrix system. It's a bunch of pharma and poison and extortion as far as I'm concerned. So I I haven't had insurance, health insurance, right? So now I'm told, so I call them up and I say, you know, I don't want part B. I just want, you know, part A, which is free, which is, you know, in case you have to go in the hospital, which, by the way, if you had to go to the hospital with a calamity, uh, you would be cared for. They're not going to turn you away. But I I'm not going to a hospital because to me that's a that's a a death ticket. Anyway, uh I'm I digress. So I get this bill from Medicare, and I call and I say, Well, what if I I just want to not use it? Well, you can cancel, but I I I have to forewarn you what would happen. Well, what would happen? So for the almost 50 years that I have paid in to Social Security and to Medicare, okay? Every check, you know, I can look at a check right now and look at hundreds of dollars taken out for Social Security, right? If you choose to cancel Medicare, you will lose all of your Social Security and retirement benefits through Social Security. Can you imagine? So I have paid in my whole life, and then if I don't want to use their system and continue to pay them for the use of their system, then they will take away what I've already paid in my whole life. Now you tell me that we are not on a prison planet. So all of these things were railing through my head yesterday, and when are you gonna alleviate this?

Who I’m Fighting For And Why

SPEAKER_00 15:48

And this morning he reminded me that that's who I'm advocating for. For all of the people that maybe um, for for example, like myself, uh, I began, you know, I I I don't want to say I was a victim of the system, but thrust in the system. We're we're all thrust in the system, like it or not. And some of us had uh a little bit more choice than others. I started having kids at a very young age, and I don't regret a moment of that. I bought five beautiful uh productive citizens of the United States of America into the world and have two beautiful children of my husband's that have been in my life since they were four and two. So, but my choices led me to a place that I am in. And I represent a huge portion, dare I say, probably three quarters of the United States are in this financial struggle. They aren't sitting pretty, they aren't in retirement, and um, you know, are able to be at ease. And that's who I am here to serve and represent. Well, all of humanity, but anyway. It gets very discouraging living in the grind. And it's uber uh scary and it uh you you don't even know what it it's like to say, This is what you want me to do, God? Okay. When it is so opposite what the world would do. It's very lonely, it takes a lot of courage, and some days I am just completely worn out, and I'm just like, when is this shift gonna happen? Well, that's why I had to come before the mic. Because there is a shift happening, and this is when most people quit, and I am not gonna quit. I'm not a quitter, and I know that God has my

Matthew 11 And Rest In Chaos

SPEAKER_00 18:08

back. And I opened those quotes that I I open with. Are you tired, worn out, burnout from religion? Come to me. This is right out of Matthew chapter 11. And get away with me, and I will recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. You see, what God is teaching me is right in the middle of this, as I am stepping out and turning away from a system that we're all stuck in, and it feels lonely, and it feels um insurmountable. He's cheering me on. He's telling me, look, I'm gonna recover your life, and I'll show you how to really rest. And how do you really rest? Right in the middle of the battle when you're aligned and you're centered, and you know that you know that inside yourself you are in perfect peace, even though everything around you is going apeshit crazy, okay? That is real rest. Then it says, Um, walk with me and work with me.

Radical Authenticity And New Courage

SPEAKER_00 19:30

That's what I'm learning how to do, and it's daunting. Um, you know, so many times I'm I'm questioning, you know, you really want me to drop this recording? You really want me to say this? Like I, for example, I was out um in my yard Saturday, and you know, I'm at this stage in my life. I can remember in my early 20s being, I I cared so much about what people think of me. And I could care less. And I garden out in my yard in my two-piece bathing suit, and I'm 65 years old, okay? And you know, I'm not a bodybuilder. I I'm in good shape from my age, absolutely. But I don't give a flying rip what anybody thinks, you know, and um it it's like, you know, who's gonna be uh looking at a 65-year-old woman anyway, right? And and if you are, well, well, but anyway, that's beside the point. And so God was speaking to me out in the garden on Saturday, and he said, record it. So I did. And then on the rare occasion, now this is new to me, I haven't been on video, and I have been looking at what the analytics say, because I'm not gonna do something um that isn't going to propel my mission to help people come back to the kingdom of God, to get healthy, to learn how to move energy through their body, to be encouraged that we can step away from the matrix and God's got us, right? So I did. I recorded it, and then I look back and I'm in my bikini top. And I was thinking to myself, wow, that, you know, I probably shouldn't have done that. But so be it. We're human, we are perfectly imperfect. And the more we are genuine and authentic, and say, you know what, this is this is who I am. And if you don't like it, that that's you know, that is the the issue is not mine because I am perfectly comfortable in my skin. If you if you don't feel comfortable with me being out in the bathing suit, gardening in my front yard, well, I too bad, right? This is the freedom that we used to walk in without judgment. You know, and and this is where God is trying to take us. And so if I have to be one of those people that is learning a new way of being, observing what the world does and doing the opposite, then so be it.

Fired Up Closing And Love

SPEAKER_00 22:16

And with that, I feel fired up and also fired up that I have to get out the door because I'm going to be late for work. So have a tremendous Tuesday. Know that I love you, Humanityville. And again, I appreciate you keeping me honest, authentic, and true to my mission. I so appreciate the accountability of being behind this mic. Peace.