Koffee ChitChat
Koffee ChitChat
Unmasking for Growth with Alicia Williams
Join us as Alicia and I explore the power of authenticity and the importance of trusting the process. We discuss how accepting imperfections and removing masks can lead to profound personal and professional growth. Hear about the years of dedication and sacrifice behind every success story and get inspired by our empowering quote of the week: "Dear sis, and dear bro as well, when the enemy cannot take you out, his mission is to wear you out. Keep running towards your victory." Make sure to grab a copy of Alicia’s book for your next coffee table discussion, girls' night, or book club meeting, and tune in for an episode that promises to motivate you to keep striving for your dreams.
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Hey, so hey y'all. Hey, welcome back to another exciting episode of Coffee Chit Chat. We have a very special guest in the house, but before we start our chat, let's shout out Coffee of the Week. You guys know how we do it in this at Cafe Mocha. That's my family's favorite. I'm not a big fan of it, but try one, guys. We have Miss Alicia Williams again in the house. Alicia is an educator turned successful entrepreneur, a four times published author, motivational speaker and style influencer, and she is here to discuss her latest book. You heard her last season and she is back again for another empowering episode. We know that you love inspiring and empowering others and we are here to discuss your new book. And the title is Dear Sis, let Me Give it To you Straight. This book y'all is so exciting. I'm already on page 98. I absolutely love it. So you guys, make sure, make sure you go and grab one and it's encouraging and we are welcoming back alicia, so welcome, welcome back to coffee chit chat. I'm excited to be back on coffee chit chat. Thank you so much for having me, paula. You are so welcome.
Speaker 1:So the name what was your inspiration behind the name? I just, I just love it. So the inspiration behind my book's name Dear Sis, let Me Give it To you Straight is from one sister to another. I believe conversation is important and having real conversations are important Because a lot of times we will, as women, we talk to one another, whether it's a girlfriend, a mutual friend, of another mutual friend, or you just may be in a sister circle, but all the time there's a lot of chitter, chatter but nobody's truly giving it to each other straight. And I'm sorry. I'm very transparent and I want women to be transparent with me and I want women to be transparent with me. So the title, dear Sis, let Me Give it To you Straight is I wanted to make sure I was giving it to my sisters straight and not holding anything back. And a lot of times what we have to understand, sometimes things are going to be said. So when you see, let me give it to you straight, and straight is bold, that's because I'm not sugarcoating anything, that's because I'm not sugarcoating anything and I think social media in the world um puts a you know, a coating on top of things and instead of just saying listen, sis, listen, it ain't popping like you think it's popping, yeah, or let me just let you know. You know, because I love you and I truly want to see you. So I'm going to give it to you straight and I absolutely love it because there's no watering down, no, like the way it is. And even though you may be close girlfriends, sometimes you need those friends that's going to give you that push to say, hey, that's not right, or you shouldn't have said that, you know, without them being angry about it. So I love it. Awesome, you are definitely giving it to everybody straight in this book.
Speaker 1:So where do your book ideas come from? Where do you think you get that inspiration? You know, to be honest, a lot of my ideas come in the middle of the night. I don't know about you, but I can live it and this is probably not a good thing. But I can literally wake up in the middle of the night and I'm going to my notepad or I'm going to my note section in my phone and I you know God has put something on my heart. He's put something on my spirit. If I don't jot it down then I'm gonna miss it or I'm going to lose it at some particular point.
Speaker 1:But a good 80% of my content comes from conversation, conversation with women and men Because even though it says Dear Sis but let me tell you this, paula, I often get in my comments. Sometimes, when I'm posting my Dear Sis empowerment messages, a guy will come in and say, well, hold up, now, they're broad too. And I love when that happens is because some of the messages yes, the book is geared towards women majority but also men can take away from this, and so sometimes I gain insight from the male perspective and I create content from that too as well. So it's a lot of conversation, a lot of active. I'm an active listener when I'm out in the stores and I'm around other women but may not necessarily be with that party, and I'm just kind of picking up on some of the things that they say and I might say that's a conversational piece.
Speaker 1:I love it and you are definitely right that it can be for men as well, because there were a few quotes out of here. I was just going. I have two college males so I was like hey, and I didn't say dear sis, I just said dear bro. And I read that quote. It was like, oh, I liked it. I said, oh, I figured you would. I love it, I love it, I love it and I know what you mean about just you know, like over in the night, because sometimes my thoughts come like, if I'm in the shower and something just comes straight in my head, it's okay, holy Spirit is at you, but then as soon as I get out I'll go write it down.
Speaker 1:Yes, you have to. You have to be very quick about putting you know, jotting those thoughts down, because you can lose them immediately. So I know that this is your fifth book. Do you plan it? Or just, oh, this is the fourth book. Okay, do you plan it or you just kind of need it? I don't.
Speaker 1:I'm not a huge. Well, let me say this In some things in life I'm not a huge planner. I allow God to lead me, and one of the things that I talked about in several just interviews that I've done is someone asked me what my word was, and this year, last year, it was obedience, and it was being obedient, being still and listening to what God had for me. Because sometimes we think we know it all, paula, we think we got this all figured out, but God was, he will shake things up and be and be like no, ma'am, sis, go sit down somewhere over there. I know what I already have. I'm playing for you. So a lot of times I just be still and I listen. We have to learn, as women and men, to just be still and listen to what God has for you. And when I tell people all the time you're going to know, because he's going to speak it to you, he's going to speak it to you so clearly and when I hear him speak to me, I move from there oh wow, I don't necessarily plan everything. I love it, so be still and know that I am God right. Oh man, honey, throw that scripture out there for the people. I love it, I love it.
Speaker 1:So can you describe your writing process? When you begin to write? I would say my writing process is very I'm a jotter. I like to jot things down, so I'm not okay. I'm forming paragraphs immediately off the top. So I'm not okay. I'm forming paragraphs immediately off the top, Like I'm someone. I can take one or two words and I can begin to create so much content from there.
Speaker 1:Because we live in a society where we see things every single day and it could be something as simple as lack of confidence, and we know that so many young women, and not just young women, but even some seasoned women. We can look like we have it all together, but we are truly lacking in some areas. But that comes to also being very observant. I'm an observant individual and so I pay attention. So when I'm writing, I'm also observing at the same time, like I said, I could be out eating, we could be at the park, we could be anywhere, and so my writing comes from me just simply writing shorthand, and I began to formulate so much content from that. That's awesome.
Speaker 1:I love, sam, being observant, because a lot of times we are not paying attention to our surroundings, and I always tell people all the time and that's my favorite phrase pay attention to your surroundings. That's right. And so it gave you all this energy and you know good content. That's I mean, that's just awesome. I love it. I love that I get to, I get to empower so many. You know what God. Everybody has a gift and I gotta be honest, the younger me was very shy Child.
Speaker 1:Please, I wouldn't definitely do anything like this. Get in front of a stage. People probably wouldn't believe that today, but as I grew older, as a young woman, in college, because my mom would always say you didn't get that mouthpiece until you got a little older, right? So I had a season of sassiness, but it's, it's who I am not not bad attitude or anything, just sassy and always had a lot to say and was an individual who doesn't back down when it comes to her belief about it. And if I feel, like I, something that's need to be said, I'm going to say it and I will debate you on it, what I'm doing and so much love and do it with so much respect. And so that's where the conversation started happening, okay, and we kind of touched on it briefly.
Speaker 1:But what do you do? Like? Say you're writing a book and a new idea jump in your head. What do you kind of like say, okay, should I put this aside or should I jot this down and say next book? Yes, definitely, because in the process of Dear Sis, so many things were, so many ideas were coming to me and I was like nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Let's just take it one thing at a time is because it was a lot of juicy things and I felt like it could be for the next, whatever the next may look like. I didn't think it would particularly go with dear sis, but it could be the next project or situation, or part two.
Speaker 1:So many things have happened over the last several months, maybe even in the process of pulling it all together, okay, and I see, like you did it like journaling style, and so people can actually write their thoughts and concerns, yes, yes, so this was just something you thought that would be helpful because you were giving it to them straight. Oh, let me tell you A lot of, okay, I'm a talker, right, but everybody doesn't verbalize the way that you and I may verbalize and they may say you know what, if I'm in an open discussion or I'm having an open discussion with a group of women, there's always going to be one or two women who are going to sit there silently because they may not necessarily feel comfortable to speak out. However, having this book available and having the journal pages available to them to jot their thoughts down is powerful, and I believe when you write things down, it's even more powerful. I definitely believe that because there have been so many times I've written like goals and I'll go back I said, hey, I accomplished that. You know what, I can check it, so that I love that. So I'm so happy you decided to write that in that book as well Because, like you said, a lot of people are just shy. They won't even you know doing something like this. They're like they may write it. And let me tell you what I love.
Speaker 1:One of the number one things is that we read empowering, inspirational messages all the time, but a lot of times you don't have the opportunity to quickly be like oh my God, this. I get people who message me often to be like oh my God, this spoke to me today. Get out of my head, alicia. I hear that often, and so they will begin to share a little bit of their story and why it touched them. Why not share your thoughts right here? It's right here, convenient, so if you want to go back and reflect, maybe a month from now, it's like, oh my God, I remember when I was experiencing this or this was happening to me at this moment, and then you can go back and read what your reflection was all about, your thoughts about Good, and so I'm so happy you wrote it this way, because I love it. I'm going to be sharing and giving some of these for gifts, thank you. Thank you, so awesome.
Speaker 1:So what is your favorite part of being a writer. One of my favorite parts about being a writer is connecting to my audience, and I believe connecting to the right audience is most important For me. It's about women who struggle with confidence, who struggle with just keeping it real. They feel like they have to appease people, just in all honesty, or they feel like they have to wear this mask. Honey, listen, unmask yourself this season. Don't be afraid to unmask yourself. Take the mask off and be real. Being your authentic self will always win, and that's what women to understand, and I hope, dear sis, empowers them and lights the fire under their butt. Honey, and be like girl.
Speaker 1:You know what alicia said? I'm part of it. Let me remove this mask and stop putting on this facade like everything is okay because everything is not okay. It is okay for things to not be okay. I love that it is okay for things not to be okay, because sometimes, when we are strong women, we just feel that everything you know, we can't let nobody see no weakness. Oh no, they can't see that I'm not good at this and I'm not. So I love that I'm masked. Take it off. This is the season of unveiling who you really are. I love that. That is just so awesome and I like that you said in the beginning the right audience, because sometimes we're speaking and it may not be necessarily the people that you're supposed to be speaking to.
Speaker 1:Right, and one of the things that I also pray about, even when I'm doing speaking engagements and even if I'm doing a conversation like this, an interview like this God, align me with the right people that will receive my messages, because every message is not for everyone. Everyone is not going to receive the message the way that I intended for them to receive it. So align me with the right people. Send the right people to me. That, dear sis, let me give it to you straight. It's not going.
Speaker 1:But here's the thing I always tell women. You know, if I stepped on your toes, I'm sorry, but I meant to step on your toes. It's because somebody didn't do it, somebody didn't have the what's the word I want to use, they wasn't strong enough or they wasn't being that true friend to you to tell it to you straight, and so it's like I'm that friend. I'm going to give it to you straight. I'm going to step on your toes. It's because I know who you are, I know which, the potential. I see the potential in you and so, therefore, I'm going to give it to you straight. I love that. It's so awesome, especially in the business that we're in as well, you know, with our team and growing these teams and everybody feel well, nobody cares about me, nobody does this, but you guys are not even taking time to read what you already have in the front of you and you know, just in the industry as a whole and women in business.
Speaker 1:So I just speak, you know, because I want to generalize it. You know we have to understand things are not going to always be the way that we desire them to be. We've got to be able to adapt. We've got to understand that we don't get to control everything. As, um, in my back in my my career as a college admin, the president of the institution that I worked at at the time, he will always say control the controllables. And as strong black women, we think we have to control everything and everything is supposed to go the way. And, dear sis, I'm trying to, I'm giving it to you straight, but I want you to, I want you to come, I want you to bring it back a little bit, sis, and I want you to understand that this is going to be your soft girl era too, as well. I love that. So everything does not have to be controlled. Dress right, dress, dress, dress right. Not at all I love it.
Speaker 1:So do you mind me reading a quote from? I have two of them, so I want to read this one that really kind of touched me. It says dear sis, it doesn't matter what you do, you can't skip the process and expect results. You gotta do the work. That's so deep, so much much, so much you can take from that. What did you take from that? I mean just um, you know like people look at lifestyle. Sometimes it's like, oh, my goodness, I want to be when I grow up. No, you don't, because you don't understand the struggle sometimes that you know.
Speaker 1:A lot of times you guys are hating on people story or their glory. Don't know the story because I'm like it's a 28 years you know what I'm saying for me to be at this point at home every day and I can just do what I love. It did not come overnight. So sometimes I think people think that this, you know, it came overnight. I was like we. I worked in a system for 28 years. I don't want to say a system, but that military was no joke for 28 years and so now we can sit back and enjoy the results of that, but it took work.
Speaker 1:So when I read that I was like you got to do the work. You can't skip it. It's a process. And you know when. That came to mind because I often hear from the industry that I've been in and, like you say, people see, oh Alicia, they be like hashtag goals and I be like no, stop doing that and just simply do the work. That's where a lot of times, people can't handle me being direct. It's because I don't want, don't be that. Yes, girl, yes, girl. Don't be that girl, that's always hashtag goals. No, get out there, get in the trenches and trust the process, but enjoy the journey along the way.
Speaker 1:And please understand there is no microwave success here. There's no. I've been saying this for many years now. You see the lifestyle that I live. You see the lifestyle that I live, but don't get it twisted. Ain't no microwave success here. It took years and years of work. It took years and years of sacrifice, and guess what? I'm still sacrificing because people don't understand.
Speaker 1:I haven't arrived anywhere. Let me get it to you straight, really quick. I haven't arrived anywhere. I am still in the words of most formal first lady, michelle Obama. I am still becoming Right. So I'm not complacent just because you see this and you see that and Alicia's doing this. I am still putting in the work and I still trust the process in the work and I have to still trust the process in the meantime. But in the meantime I'm going to still show you it is possible.
Speaker 1:But you got to do it with such an attitude and you got to understand that it's going to take you surrounding yourself with the right people and you having the right mindset. That's a whole message. I can go, I talk 30 minutes and I can come back to that mindset, my own mindset. That's a whole message I can go and talk for minutes about. You have to come back to that mindset. Mindset alone matters. Let me say that Mindset alone matters.
Speaker 1:When we talk about Dearest is giving to me straight. It's because people don't understand. There has to be a mindset, shit. Mm-hmm. That was our three conversations. I know right, you come and make has to be a mindset shit. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, child. That's part three conversation. Part three conversation.
Speaker 1:I know right, you come in there, because I seriously, though I think so many people, even our young folks, they want to skip the process and get to the glamour, the glitz, the all the you know, all the. I said even those people. You see, whatever, it took some hard work to get to where they are now. It didn't just fall in anyone's lap. I'm not sure what world these people are living in. No one is.
Speaker 1:The success doesn't just fall in your lap. You have to get out there and work forward, and you have to not just even when you receive it. People don't understand. You have to continue to do the work to keep it there you are. You have to continue to do the work. You have to continue to make those sacrifices. So I say, in order for you to have the extraordinary, you have to first be willing to do what is necessary. That's it. You've got to be willing to do the work.
Speaker 1:That spoke to me, because I know it was a lot of sacrifices moving from this state to that state, to this, this place, to that place, you know, and setting up with three young kids, you know. So, um, I just I was like everybody needs to hear this. So I want to make sure I read this on the podcast, thank you, thank you, I'm glad that was to make sure I read that on the podcast. Is there any other nuggets you want to give us before we read the quote, because the quote, of course, is going to come out of this book again.
Speaker 1:Yes, I will just simply say this book is, it can be a coffee table book, it could be a girls' night in conversational piece. It's because sometimes let's think about when you have those girl nights in and sometimes you struggle about okay, do I really want to bring up this topic? I want to talk about this, but I think it can be a book club piece where everybody has an opportunity because everybody's seeing it at the same time and no one is being singled out, and everybody has an opportunity to share what their thoughts are regarding that particular message. So, grab this book. Yep, everybody has to grab it.
Speaker 1:So, guys, for this week, we really appreciate Ms Alicia taking time out of her busy schedule to chat with us and to empower and to inspire my listeners. I absolutely love it. So the quote of the week is dear sis, and I'm going to say dear bro as well when the enemy cannot take you out, his mission is to wear you out. Keep running towards your victory. Absolutely love it. Thank you, guys, and make sure you tune in for another exciting episode of Coffee Chit Chat next week.
