Koffee ChitChat
Koffee ChitChat
Empowering the Next Generation: Damien Butler on Mentorship, Representation, and Leadership
Hey y'all. Hey, it's your girl, paula, with another exciting episode of Coffee Chit Chat. But before we introduce our guest you guys know how we do it we're going to shout out our coffee of the week, which is a caramel macchiato with whipped cream. So, guys, we have a very exciting guest in the building. We have Mr Damien Butler in the house. He is the founder of Manifest One Empowerment Group and Media Network, a platform for and about developing successful young leaders Through a career of serving others. Damian has gained valuable experience as a teacher, coach, leader and friend. He has over two decades of military service, has taught in university classrooms and in the public school system, coached recreation leagues up to the college level, led soldiers in Afghanistan very impressive and worked in the executive suites of various organizations. Damian and Manifest One Empowerment's mission is to provide real mentorship with real answers to real questions towards real success. Okay, so welcome, welcome. And Damien is one of my mentees. I'm just so proud of him now that he is mentoring others and he's my fraternity brother. Welcome, damien.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:Oh, you are so welcome.
Speaker 2:Now do you have a favorite coffee?
Speaker 1:or do you not drink coffee yet Tea?
Speaker 2:I'm actually a tea drinker and I'm sipping on some day old green tea from this morning.
Speaker 1:He says day old, okay, okay. Well, that's fine, and it's green tea. So do you try the flavored teas or you just kind of stick with them?
Speaker 2:So green tea. So do you try the flavor teas or you just kind of stick with them. So green tea today was just kind of to get me started. But I'm trying to get into the uh in the like the fruity teas, so I can have a little bit. I'm trying to get away from sugar and you know sugary drinks and all that kind of stuff. So I've read somewhere that green tea is supposed to burn fat, keep you nice, slim and trim. So give me some flavor and I can lose weight at the same time.
Speaker 1:I'll take it. I hear you so okay. What inspired you to start mentoring young men and how did you first get involved with this work?
Speaker 2:Well, mentorship is something that has always been important to me, I mean from an early age.
Speaker 2:I want to say it was early sixth grade, you know I had somebody pouring into me and, as you said, I'm one of your mentees, you know, coming into the Army, into the Finance Corps, you know, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, I had somebody you know very early as a second lieutenant snatch me up and be like all right, here we go. And then it worked out very well that you divine nine is present and you know most places that we go and we had the blue and white connection. So, you know, trying to figure out what to do, how to be and where to go, you know, you, you helped me on that path quite a bit. So it was only, it was only right for me to do it for other people I love it, Paying it forward right.
Speaker 2:Yes. I couldn't go to the next level without bringing somebody behind me.
Speaker 1:Someone helped me and that's how I always feel and I still try to do it now that we're out. But I was like, whatever I can do, let me know, and I still talk to colonels and generals or whatever for them to pour into me, because we all need that.
Speaker 2:Right, you know we all need some help. I have another mentor that says we all need some help. You do nothing of significance by yourself.
Speaker 1:That's exactly true and I love that you said about the Divine Nine, because I can remember a young lieutenant and even if they wasn't part of the blue and white family, it could have been. Aka wasn't part of the blue and white family, it could have been um aka's, deltas, uh, omegas, that those, when they found out you were part of the divine nine, they just kind of take you under their arms and guide you.
Speaker 2:So I mean I've had a lot of uh, there's a lot of the divine nine. Fine, you know, sigmas, for me it's like oh your frat brother's over here. Oh, you got, you know, go talk. So once they, once you're in, you know you're in. The people are looking, looking out for you and trying to help you go to the next level. So I needed to be a part of that process.
Speaker 1:So that is so true that is so true and I'm so happy that you decided that well, if they poured into me, I'm going to pour into somebody else. Can you share a um defining moment from your own life that shaped your desire and we kind of like answered it? I guess a little bit to give back to the next generation.
Speaker 2:When I was thinking about the answer I was like I can't pick just one. We just talked about how many, you are one, and then I had to go and find and then going down range. And going down range is like being back on the college campus in a way, because once you know, everybody got together, all the Sigmunds was over here, all the Zedders were over here, the Qs and everybody had, you know, they had their little section of where they were hanging out and once you walked by it you were going to catch a few, you know, a few strays. You better have something quick to say about them, cues, because they're going to talk about you.
Speaker 2:The AKAs were doing their thing in the field, getting muddy, but you know they were representing for themselves. So it was just being in those environments and it just sparks and you just have to. You know, for me I felt like I had to do something and I have to continue. So, you know, one is a good start, but you know, having good people around you is always important and that makes it easier to go forward.
Speaker 1:That's so awesome. So what inspired you to start mentoring young men and how did you first get involved in this work?
Speaker 2:Well, I was when I started Manifest One. It started with young men.
Speaker 2:Most of them were three of my god sons and two students from the high school I was teaching at the time and it was just a matter of being able to, you know, to lock in with them and touch their lives, because they don't really see a whole lot of themselves outside of TV, or rappers, whatever. It was a matter of making sure they had a role model so they can see what the future could look like. Not that I'm the end-all be-all, but I want to be an example of what the future looks like. If you can see it, you can be it.
Speaker 1:That's it.
Speaker 2:I have two daughters. I don't have sons, so I'm, you know, a proud girl dad to you know, connect and help young ladies as well, so it's just mentoring young people that want to go to the next level that's awesome and I'm glad that you said that.
Speaker 1:you know, especially for our young men of color, they can look and see you like, oh wow, he may not be into sports but he's in the business world, so I can also see myself being in the business world. I don't have to like get out by just playing basketball or football. I can actually just do it the academic way as well. So I love that.
Speaker 2:That's important.
Speaker 1:In your experience, what are the most common misconceptions people have about young men of color?
Speaker 2:that we're violent, we're lazy and we're not going to amount to much, which hurts my heart. And in the current state of affairs that we're in now, everything has been given to us Like we don't earn what we have. I had to sit through these classes just like everybody else. You know, to get my associate's degree, my master's degree, my bachelor's. That path that you went on to get yours, I had to go on and get mine too.
Speaker 1:Right, and most of the time you did it twice as good, because that's how we were taught.
Speaker 2:Right, we have to work twice as hard to get half as much, and then you got to be grateful for it. So it's shaping that mindset that we're angry. You know the angry black man syndrome. I watched Jeffrey Canada some time ago and he was like well, I'm a black man, I don't like the way things are going right now and I can get angry. We have to push past that and create space for ourselves and create a way for us to be happy to find joy.
Speaker 2:We can. You know, black boy joy is a good thing.
Speaker 1:It is In today's landscape.
Speaker 2:We don't want to use that boy word too much when they get to a certain age. But that joy does exist, we do have and we're capable of it. So don't want to use that boy word too much, you know, when they get to be a certain age. But that joy does exist, we do have and we're capable of it. So don't listen to you know. You know I love a good hip-hop song, but we're not all rappers.
Speaker 2:You know there are doctors and you know finance. You know you know finance executives we do a lot of things and we can do it don't get caught up in what you see on TV or when you search the internet, and how limited the view is of us.
Speaker 1:We can do great things. I always say that representation matters. So show us as doctors, as pilots, as lawyers, because there are a lot of us out there doing it and doing black history month, I love to share on my social media platform, facebook, mainly a black history fact every month. I mean not not month every day, so that people can see, because if we don't, if we don't teach the history, I always say, if you guys don't know where you came from, you probably don't know where you're going.
Speaker 2:You know and that if you can see it, you can be it that's it, that's it. I say that all the time and that that that's why I do it. I want to. I want to just give you an example. You can look at me as an example of what not to be, but you also have an example of what you can be that part. I've made enough mistakes in good places, where I can impact. You know the future.
Speaker 1:I love it. So why mentoring? How do you approach building trust and rapport with the young men that you mentor? Because I know sometimes kids can be a little standoffish because they're not really sure. Can I trust this person, you know?
Speaker 2:It takes time now, even not more today than in the past, but you know it's just a matter of you know I call it communication, relationship and accountability, the cra model. You got to communicate, let them know you're there, talk to them, hey, how you doing? What's going on? Good to see you. Good morning, good morning, good morning. Whether they say anything back, you just keep delivering the message, that you keep delivering a message and you'll start to develop a relationship.
Speaker 2:And as that relationship develops, you just be accountable to the words that you put out there. Be accountable to your words. You say you're going to do something, do it. If I say I'm going to help them, I need to help them. I just know it's a little bit of work sometimes on my more work on my part to get things going. But as we start to roll and we start to make connections in their life, they start to give and the relationship grows and we're accountable to each other and we know we stand in our word. And if I say I'm going to answer your questions, you know real relationships, real questions, real answers. I need to do that and not get an opportunity to outside of school, outside of wherever the primary relationship started, be it sports coaching, whatever it may be, just be consistent in you know putting their needs you know in front of them and helping them get to it.
Speaker 1:And, I think, consistency and relationship consistency and relationship, and that's why I was going to say walk us through your mentorship style, so you can't like describe it. Is there anything else you want to like add? Just, you know the way you. You said you, you're going to be real, you're consistent.
Speaker 2:If you say you're going to do it, then you do it, I'm flexible I mean it depends on the, on the child, like, like I had my boys lacrosse championship team from 2018. I still talk to some of those young men today. You know some of them are in grad school and you know a lot of years of college still playing the game. So I get to go see them play and you know I show up and we have a quick conversation, just communicating, building relationship, just keep going.
Speaker 2:All of those guys, you know those, they all. They were all different. Some of them came to me. Some of them I didn't even know that I was there. You know I was. They were even thinking about me outside of, you know, outside of practice or a game, because they didn't talk to me but back and said you said this, you did this and I was just doing what needed to be done for the team and just that accountability piece of fulfilling my role. So I do my best to meet kids where they are and I also say I'm the coach. That doesn't go away.
Speaker 2:So if you want to reach, out to me, I'm available and I don't chase you down. When you go, you go. But when you call back and say, hey coach, I need a letter of recommendation, hey coach, I want to come help out, whatever it may be, I'm always available, so that's awesome.
Speaker 1:I love it, the coach that never goes away.
Speaker 2:That's me Okay.
Speaker 1:So how do you balance?
Speaker 2:offering guidance while also following them to. We're encouraging them to follow their own paths as well. You know saying, hey, this is what I did, but that's the relationship piece trying to figure out what they want and where they are.
Speaker 2:And you know we go through that growth. You know that growing pain, those growing pains, those areas of what do you need. Or you know it's just a conversation, it's constant communication and trying to figure out what we need to do. And once we find out where we're going, we lay out the plan and we just work the plan and we have bumps, we correct the bumps and then we just relationship and keep moving forward.
Speaker 1:So let them find their own path. I love that. Okay, how important is it for young men of color to see mentors who share similar backgrounds or experiences?
Speaker 2:it's extremely important. If, like, if you can see it, you can be it. But if you can believe, if you think it's happening, can be it. But if you can believe it, if you think it's happening, even if you don't see it. I mean, now we're in the day of the age of the post-Obama era, so you can do anything you want to do. But prior to that we always said, and we still had people on high places, I call it, say, say, virtual mentor, because I didn't, I wasn't around colin powell every day. I did meet him and we had a really good conversation in that you know that short, you know interaction, but you can read about people you can see it's important to be able to look and find yourself in other places or because, like I said, if you see it, you can be, you can be.
Speaker 1:I love it because colin powell, he was that type of guy. I met him once as well and my boys met him and, um, I think that just kind of shaped a lot about them saying you can be whatever you want. Because I was explaining to him his rank and he was like, oh wow, you know. I said yeah see, I say so you can. You can you see that then you can become it as well, and so representation is so important, very important.
Speaker 1:He was just like a no-nonsense guy, Him. The other one I met and had a chance to speak with for a little bit was General Andre. He was another one of those no-nonsense guys, but would sit and talk to you the raging Cajun another one of those no messes guys but we'll sit and talk to you.
Speaker 2:The raging cajun the raging. I used to have a book actually it's still in the back of my uh my copy of my american uh journey paul's autobiography. This is mid 90s. I had a list of every general of color. You know it was only a handful even back then.
Speaker 2:But I knew where they were, I knew who they were. At the time I was in the air force so I knew. You know general fig newton. I got to sit on a panel with him and do a podcast with him. That that was awesome and I I told him. I said, sir you, I don't mean to disrespect or want to belittle the situation, but I'm doing my best not to fanboy right now. He watched when I was in the air. We went and had a whole conversation. He said he was flattered by it. It was really good to see that. I had aspirations to be a general at one time. I had to be a secretary of defense and that's a whole conversation, especially with the current one we have right now.
Speaker 2:I just saw myself in that arena because of people like that being able to see it, I can imagine myself doing it. I'm not on that trajectory anymore, but I believe that I could be.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, If you wanted to stay in and do that, you could have very well became a general officer.
Speaker 2:Oh, that that's no, that that's another conversation.
Speaker 1:OK.
Speaker 2:And then the leadership and army leadership anyway, but that's another conversation for another day. I guess during retirement, another conversation for another day.
Speaker 1:I'm enjoying retirement. Oh, I am too. I miss the people and the camaraderie and all, but I'm very happy that I did it in my time and I'm just really enjoying being retired, camaraderie is hard to find.
Speaker 2:I talk to a lot of athletes about that. The group of guys I play lacrosse with. We talk about the camaraderie of the league quite a bit, that circle, being able to see yourself in that place is very important.
Speaker 1:It's very important Definitely Now. Do you think there's enough positive representation of young men, of color and media in society? You?
Speaker 2:know when you. There's never enough.
Speaker 1:There are examples there are clear examples that go beyond.
Speaker 2:You know what you see on tv. I mean, I, I work with a group of young men here, like the group of people I spend my time with now are 15 or 20 years younger than me. Okay, but we, we're, we're locked in because we're mentors, we're teachers, we're educators, we want to build the future and create opportunities. So all of those folks that you know don't have a big name or big platform. They do exist and it's you know. It's important that we multiply, you know these personalities and these people and create, you know, platforms, because my first group of mentees, you know, 14, the young man that I started, manifest one empowerment group with their fathers, now business owners. You know the group of girls Well, it wasn't a group of girls, it was one girl who was very upset with me that I spent all this time with these young men and didn't pay attention to the girls.
Speaker 1:Oh no.
Speaker 2:She's an author, she's, you know, running her own business. She's doing great things. So we created a space for them, for these young people to grow. Now they're adults and young people are watching them. So we have the. We do have people we don't. There's never enough of those people. So we need to keep creating and and creating space to develop more of those uh, images and young black men and women and I say black men because I'm a black man, but I work with everybody. It's been. You need to be able to see yourself. That's true. You need to see yourself everywhere over time and become a the norm. You know, you don't be, you're not shocked when you see it, but it's like, oh yeah, okay, I expect to see that, that part I but it's like, oh yeah, okay, I expect to see that that part.
Speaker 1:I love it. It's like when you walk in the room and if it's an African-American, okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:I figured that, okay, I expect them to be there.
Speaker 1:I know they're going to be sitting there. Yes, yes, yes, that's the day I long to get to as well. It no longer shocks you. You know what I'm saying. You walk on the airplane and there's an African-American pilot.
Speaker 2:It's like oh, OK, it's funny that you say that I grew up. Another one of my mentors a lifelong mentor is my cousin who just retired from from 32 years in the airline industry. He just retired recently. His wife is the first black female captain for Delta Airlines. His daughter is a captain on a regional Delta airline. His son is on track to be a Delta pilot. They have multiplied not just pilots in their house but throughout our family and, uh, my cousin, their daughter, their younger cousin, is married to an air force fighter pilot. So they've created a, a world where they they're multiplying themselves and you're going to see more, you know, and to our watching young people grow up. I mean, these are, these are alex is old enough to be it was young enough to be my child, but we're, we're in the airport celebrating uh andre's last flight and they're just walking coming down and and I'm watching, I'm like these are grown-ups, these kids that we had to pick up and make sure, hold their hands crossed.
Speaker 2:Now they're flying planes and doing all the things and living life as the way they want to live, because of the example that I was saying. So it's important to see, but it's also important to be so, you know creating that image and over and over and over. So and just over, and I keep going back to the current state of affairs, everything you know, we need those folks in there because if you don't go after it, no one's giving it to you. That's true.
Speaker 2:You got to see it, so at least you can think you can go for it. And then, when you go for it and get it, you tell somebody else they can do it too.
Speaker 1:That's it. That's it. I love it. I'm just pouring back into you know that family. You know you're saying like all the pilots or whatever, and they just keep duplicating, duplicating. I just love that. So some other young person is probably watching them now saying, hey, if they can be a Delta pilot, I can, too, love it. Okay, what changes would you like to see in the future for mentorship programs geared toward not only, like, african-americans, but just young men of color in general?
Speaker 2:We need to create a space where people can be their authentic self.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I say that and authenticity is important, but create a space to understand what that is, because I say all the time that we can be authentic, but you need to be able to meet a standard.
Speaker 2:So you know everybody wants to come to work and be the authentic, full self. You got to be able to do what you need to do Teach young men what the standard of life is. The standard is not the same for everybody. Whatever you do for work, your health standards as a pilot are very strenuous. You can't wear glasses every day. You can't be reading. You got to have 20-20 vision. That's just the standard of the industry. It's not going to change. But you have to do what you have to do to maintain that standard and be who you are.
Speaker 2:You've got to live in a world of both and it's not going to be set up for you to do with one thing. You have to know there are step by step processes and we need to have mentor programs that are designed to help young people see the world for what it is and they can figure out how they can fit into it and not just try to. You know sugarcoat and and create you know sugarcoated cookie cutter world where everything you know fits me and it's all so sweet. You got to be able to maintain the standard that's set for the industry, for the environment, and be yourself so that part of the space for you to be both and I love it.
Speaker 1:They have to create something where they can. The young person can navigate their way to where they need to I use the army terms.
Speaker 2:You know you got your left and right limits. You know, early on you're bouncing off of that. You know one of those two, you're bouncing off that left limit. So you're gonna knock yourself out or you're gonna figure out how to, you know, operate and not be, to be in the space where you need to be. Not necessarily in the middle, you could be, you know you could lean left, but you figure out the way to operate within that standard and still be who you are.
Speaker 1:Awesome, awesome, and you're in Michigan now. Is that where you are? Ok, well, let's tell my listeners how they can follow you. You know, we have we have listeners, I believe, in Michigan, because we like in 25 countries, so there may be some young people near you that can benefit from your mentor. You know in your program, so tell the listeners how they can follow you.
Speaker 2:I am all over social media Instagram. I don't call it X's, it will always be Twitter for me. Damien L Butler, on Twitter and Instagram at TheManifest1, twitter and Instagram and I have a little fun. My pizza lacks leadership. Tiktok and Instagram is where I act a little goofy and show a little thing, but I also manage my lacrosse team's page, salem Lacks Girls. That that is really my my fun spot right now. I really enjoy being in that space. The lacrosse world has been good to me. I've developed a lot of new skills and I'm able to kind of impart some wisdom on young people as they go through their high school journey. So Twitter, instagram and TikTok Pizza Lacks Leadership, damian L Butler. The L is very important, though You're going to find somebody else if you don't throw the L in there, damian L Butler.
Speaker 2:And Facebook. I'm on Facebook too, but Facebook, I kind of just drop the podcast there every now and then.
Speaker 1:Oh see, I'm all over Facebook because it's easier for us seasoned people.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to be flexible, so part of my mentor program is reverse mentorship. You got to teach me something too. I can't just be just sowing all of my seeds. I got to get something.
Speaker 1:Pour something Because. I do Instagram my daughter has taught me tremendously. That was a British major mass media TV film. So she hooked me up with the Instagram, the X or Twitter, whatever you want to call it, and they're trying to get me my son is actually like TikTok, famous or whatever but I said, okay, I don't want to have to do all these videos. So they're really trying to get me into more, into Twitter as well. I mean TikTok as well.
Speaker 2:I've run across a few things. I mean it is and my daughters have been my social media coaches. I'm like, no, don't put that song on there. No, don't do that. And you know, everything on social media is pretty much a highlight reel. But getting to the highlights is a good journey and having a good team around you. So my mentees saw into my life quite a bit, so I benefit from having them around just as much as they would benefit from having me around.
Speaker 1:I love it. That is so awesome and thank you for taking time out your busy schedule to chat with us here on coffee chit chat. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2:This was a pleasure to, to reconnect. You know I've been enjoying, uh, the podcast, listening to all the general officers coming on like, okay, yeah, and it's funny. It's like I thought I knew all the generals there were so many that but we crossing paths and just the mentorship in the military. You cross paths with so many people and we have a, you know, six degree of separation. We're connected, but we also are connected to some of the same people, so it's always a pleasure to hear the experiences that you all are putting out there. So I'm a fan of the podcast. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you, thank you. Well, we're going to leave everybody with the quote of the week. It says a mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself, and that's by Oprah Winfrey. Tune in next week, guys, for another exciting episode of Coffee Chit Chat.
