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Contemplative Prayers: Transforming Grief into Spiritual Healing
Mental health and spirituality don't have to exist in separate worlds. Sharon Jones, licensed marriage and family therapist, joins us to unveil her transformative approach to healing through her book "Uploading the Fire, Downloading the Grace: Contemplative Prayers."
Born from personal grief after losing her father, Sharon's collection of contemplative prayers offers a pathway through emotional turmoil when words fail us. "I wanted to help everyone that may be grieving or stuck in a place where they needed healing or help or release," she shares, explaining how prayer creates a sacred space for honest conversation with God without the judgment often experienced when sharing pain with others.
Sharon challenges faith communities to move beyond platitudes and embrace their power as "first responders" for those in spiritual and emotional crisis. Her groundbreaking work with churches demonstrates how spiritual settings can incorporate therapeutic techniques while honoring faith principles. "Where it starts is coming out of the mind of being judgmental and not putting a label on it, but administer the care," she explains, emphasizing that true spiritual practice means wrapping love around people when they're suffering.
The concept of "uploading fire and downloading grace" provides a powerful framework for spiritual resilience—cultivating daily moments of divine connection builds inner strength, while grace represents the unmerited favor and support available even in our darkest hours. This conversation will transform how you approach both prayer and mental wellbeing.
Join our Facebook group "Koffee Chit Chat" to continue the conversation during our seasonal break, and follow our journey on Instagram. Sharon welcomes connections through her Facebook pages "Alabaster Moments" and "Alabaster Spirit."
Hey y’all hey, don’t miss the next episode of Koffee Chitchat!!
Hey y'all. Hey, it's your girl, paula, and we are back with another exciting episode of Coffee Chat, chat. Our resident expert is in the building, but before we get started and introduce her, let's shout out the coffee of the week a sea salt iced coffee. Make sure you grab one. Our special guest this morning is Sherry Jones, licensed marriage and family therapist, whose work with Alabaster Moments Consultant LLC is lighting the way for a revolution in mental health support. As our cherished guest, sharon's expertise and passion for empowering individuals, especially within faith-based communities, is commendable. Today we are discussing her newest book, uploading the Fire, downloading the Grace Contemplative Prayers. This is a heartfelt collection of prayers designed to inspire and transform your spiritual journey. So welcome back, sharon.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much, paula. It seems like this podcast is on fire and it's, you know, the power of the beginning. You have to start somewhere, so I enjoyed coming on here.
Speaker 1:You was one of my first guests, so we are super excited to always have you every season, super, super excited. Now, can you share this inspiration behind your newest book? It's Uploading the Fire. Download the Grace of this inspiration behind your newest book is uploading the fire. Download the grace. Uh, you guys gotta make sure you get a copy, because I have mine and y'all these prayers are awesome. Um, what do the title and the concept of contemplative prayers mean to you?
Speaker 2:contemplative prayer and the title uploading the fire. The thing is is that we have to stay on fire and one way that we stay on fire is uploading those good things. You know speaking good words, having good thoughts, you know doing good things and really caring about people and trying to help people. And so I feel like we should be uploading those things that are going to heal and protect and make things better.
Speaker 2:I wrote the prayer book after losing my father. I thought what can I do to contribute to his legacy? He was a simple man, he never had everybody he met, was a friend, he was a good person. And I said, boy, you know, this is the heaviest kind of grief when you lose someone. You know you're separated forever, you know, in terms of the physical world. And so it just came to me in a small still voice send out a prayer book to help other people, you know, turn your pain into a healing agent for other people. And so that's what I did, and I just talked to God and I recorded these prayers and then, of course, I just, you know, went to my higher self and refined the prayers, but it came out of the loss of my father. I said I wanted to help everyone that may be grieving or that may be stuck in a place where you know where they needed healing or help or release.
Speaker 1:I love that. So turn that pain into healing by helping others. I really, really love that. And how can the prayers help individuals on their spiritual journey, and why do you believe that they are an essential part of mental and emotional healing?
Speaker 2:First of all, sometimes we reach a place where we don't know where to turn. We don't know what to do. Our mind is not even functioning properly for us to make a rational or a good decision, and sometimes someone else's prayers or work can help to usher you to that place. Prayer is simply talking to God and oftentimes the only time we speak to God is possibly when we enter the church community. But with my book I'm saying to go to that presence, go to that life force which is God and build up. You know, build yourself up. Don't wait until the bad moments come. Don't just do it on Sunday when you're in church, but cultivate this daily, even if it's 10 minutes or 15 minutes, because when you, when you have that safe place to talk to God, you get all kinds of instructions and you get information to help you be better in life.
Speaker 1:OK, and you know, like in the faith based communities, sometimes the mental health challenges faced by these individuals can be a little unique. Because you know the way you were raised, you know how can you address some of their concerns. As far you know, like as far as in the faith based community, Because we know we really do need prayer but also sometimes you need that mental health healing as well.
Speaker 2:I think where it starts is is that come out of the mind of being judgmental and not putting a label on it, but administer the care. Sometimes, when people are becoming unwell with a mental health concern, where their thoughts are not proper, their behaviors may not be proper, we still have to administer the care. You know, don't go to laughing at them, don't go to talking about them, but know that they need care and begin to craft a plan of care for them. One of the biggest ways to care is to wrap love around people and also to have a supportive support system, not to laugh at them, not to judge them, but to know that it's really a health crisis. Their spirit is out of alignment, their body is out of alignment, their mind is out of alignment, and so we're working to help them get back in harmony, get back in balance.
Speaker 1:Love it, and many people sometimes are unsure of how to pray in times of struggle or emotional turmoil. How can your book help guide people in cultivating a deeper, more intentional prayer life?
Speaker 2:As we begin to read words or even speak words, our spirit catches up with that and our spirit like you know, I have many words like purpose or in the book it's encourage, and prayer is simply having a conversation with God, who is our blueprint, our presence, he's our life force. You know, he's our presence, he's our life force, he's our consciousness, and so we can't do anything without that God mind, that God consciousness. And if we do and it's not in alignment with God, usually it doesn't work out. It leads you down a path that's not so good. But I would say speak out the words, just talking to God. God, I'm going through grief, I'm having a tough time here. Help me out. You know you're talking to the person, the number one person, and so sometimes when we go and talk to other people, they shut us down. They're like you should be over that by now. I don't know why you're still dealing with that.
Speaker 2:You know what's wrong with you, Just go to work. You know, like when my brother passed a couple of years ago, my boss who was a really religious lady. She said God don't make no mistakes. And I told her I'm not questioning God, but I'm speaking to the pain of this loss. This is a deep loss, and so sometimes it's better to be an audience of one talking to God face to face, because people bring in all this added emotion and judgment.
Speaker 2:But when you're, when you're facing God in your quiet place, in an audience of one, then God is. He's nurturing, he's caring, he's love. You know he'll help you get you through it.
Speaker 1:I like that and that's a good example about the lady saying God doesn't make mistakes. That's one thing I remember. I can't remember what class it was. I was attending an event. It was for like caring for people you know with grief and who had lost a loved one. That is the number one they said never say phrases like that. Yes, if you don't, if the only thing you know how to say is this, I'm gonna pray for you and your family. Say that, uh, god bless you, or never make those type of statements, because it's just not good for the person that's doing the grief yes, we have to.
Speaker 2:You know, we have to honor, uh, where that person is in that moment, because people grieve differently. Grief is a process. It's not like you're going to get cured within a few minutes, and I think that's where oftentimes churches even churches they say the funeral is over. We've done all of this, just pray about it. But it's an ongoing process to heal. There are many layers. There are many layers, there are many triggers, you know.
Speaker 1:I mean it's a separation, yeah, and I know a few minutes ago we was talking about some of the prayers in your book and one just kind of stuck with me and I put my little bookmarker in there, yes, and I just want to read it really quick, really quick. It said please help me to let go of my troubles so that your serenity can flow over me like a soft string and I just that just touched my soul.
Speaker 1:I was like, oh my gosh, the peace that surpasses all understanding. That's what I would get out of that.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, and, and when we begin to I don't even use the word obedient or to set up quiet moments with God we get stronger. Our days go better.
Speaker 2:We feel more powerful because you're talking to the primary power source. You're not getting advice from people, you're going right to God, and I think it's a gift to You're going right to God and I think it's a gift to be able to go right to God. You don't have to talk to anyone and you don't even have to talk out loud. God is so powerful that his consciousness, you can just think it in your mind and so so just you know, oftentimes we'll run into someone else and we're getting further wounded. Now I do advise professional help, but as a professional, that professional should be able to help you get through it, to facilitate a healthy process that's going to lead you to alignment and lead you to peace. Right, right.
Speaker 1:I'm just forgetting. Okay, I love that sharing these prayers. Everybody has to get this book. It is so good. I'm going to make sure it's in my Coffee Teacher Facebook group because the prayers are just excellent and your book title. Part of it. It says Downloading the Grace. Can you explain how grace plays a role in healing and emotional restoration, especially for those who might feel disconnected from their spiritual practices?
Speaker 2:Well, first of all, you got to stay on fire, and the way you stay on fire is to sit in the silence, get comfortable with the silence. There's so many bad things, there's so many distractions, there's so many people telling you you'll never be anything, you'll never be in nothing. And so when you sit in the silence, you go to getting your strength, and not only just sit in the silence. When you talk to God it begins to empower you. I mean, you're right there with God, an audience of one, and so you're setting up that fire. Maybe you'll even start walking different. I know in the church they say I looked at my hands and they look new, but I look at my feet. And so that's what can happen when you start to sitting in that silence, talking to God daily, and so the fire will start coming from you. And then, as you upload that fire, you'll also know that other people need this grace that you're getting from God, and so you're going to upload the fire and then you're going to download the grace.
Speaker 1:And grace is unmerited favor.
Speaker 2:It's favor meaning that you know you're not thinking right, you know you're at a place where you can't even help yourself. But this higher being if you want to look at it that way this guy that's holding a woman, or whoever is holding the blueprint, is letting you know I got you, I got your back. I see you, you're scrambled up, you're messed up and all of that, but I have your back.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, because he is supreme. Yes, he is. What is your vision for the future of mental health support, particularly in faith-based communities, and how do you use your work continually to inspire change in this space?
Speaker 2:For faith-based communities. First of all, the faith-based community is a powerhouse. It's very powerful because the faith-based community is like a first responder, because people go to the church first, before they even go to a therapist or anyone else, and they're seeking hope. Because they're seeking, you know, they're seeking God. And so my hope, first of all, is inclusion Okay, not judgmental To realize that the faith community is the beloved community where people go for help, they go for assistance, they go for hugs, they go for a sense of belonging, and so my hope is that all faith-based communities will walk in, respect and honor people and really practice the Christian principles you know love, treating your neighbor as yourself, all of those beautiful principles that we rarely talk about you know, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, all of those kind of things, you know, do one to others as you would have them.
Speaker 2:Do one to you. Yes, yes, all of those kind of things. You know there are so many great things taught in that community Pray without ceasing. You know, love your neighbor as yourself. Thou should not kill, thou should not steal. You know all of these commandments and things that lead to a better way. One particular pastor, pastor Aramis Hines. He do a support group with his church the second Friday of each month and he has a vision that individuals in the church need another space to heal, to grow, to learn tools and skills on how to navigate some of these tough situations such as grief and loss, a son getting killed in the streets. You know you're losing your physical being, your mind is, you're hearing voices, all of these things that people kind of laugh at and say, oh, that's just. You know you got a spirit in you and you know we're all interconnected mind, body, spirit and community and everything and so. But the basic thing is not looking at the cause too much but knowing that that person needs care and not overlooking the care.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, I love it, and so you are actually working with a faith-based community.
Speaker 2:Yes, forward thinking yes, yes, breakers covenant church in in detroit uh, dr, uh, pastor aramis is definitely a visionary. He sought me out on a face, on a facebook. He asked me what exactly did I do? And we formulated a great relationship. And so the second, usually the second friday of each month, I facilitate a support group with all types of topics.
Speaker 1:I incorporate therapeutic techniques and and tools and ways for you to breathe a little bit easier yeah, I love that because you know we actually need that and, um, I feel that my pastors are visionary as well, because like this. We're celebrating Love Week, just doing little acts of kindness for the community. Also, on Saturday they're doing a care group brunch where, if you lost someone in the last year or two someone really close you can come.
Speaker 2:They're going to just love all those people they need that, yes, it's all about caring for people, giving them a space to have a voice, giving them a space to heal, and sometimes we don't have that because judgment is all around, like judgmental people, people who are hurt, who have never healed. They hurt other people, and so we have to have those spaces to really let people know it's okay to begin your healing process.
Speaker 1:Right, right, it's okay to grieve. And how can people learn more about you, your work and your book?
Speaker 2:Well, I'm not on Facebook. You know, I have my Facebook Alabaster Moments. I have my Facebook Alabaster Spirit and they can just message me and I can let them know about my book. Again, I try to, whatever I write, it's almost like it's something speaking to you to call out what part of you that needs to be healed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. And what steps should someone take if they want to start exploring your approach to healing and prayer? So I guess you can't answer. They can follow you on all of your social media sites.
Speaker 2:I'm a real common person. They can just reach out to me and I'll try my best, best best to help them. They can also join the. I can send a link to the support group in Detroit because they're okay with other people getting on there, especially if it's safe. You know we would have to. If it's someone that comes to me, then they should be safe, you know to go on there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's what I was thinking too, especially like other ministers, or you know, other support groups that may want you to come and talk to their people. So, guys, she is on Facebook, her book is on Amazon and it is an excellent book. The name of that book, again, y'all, is Download the Fire. We're uploading the fire and downloading the grace.
Speaker 2:I've talked and played at prayers where I'm encouraging people to go deep with their higher self, not to be superficial or or fragile, like you know, like just basically going through the motions, but I really want you to talk to your higher self so that so that we can start healing and making improvements and so that we can stop hurting other people and hurting ourself and have self-compassion and love.
Speaker 1:I love it. I love it and, sharon, we always so enjoy when you come to Coffee, chit, chat and of course I know you will be back for another season. We appreciate your time and you're getting up super early because you're on the West Coast, like it's 9.30 here Coast, like it's 930 here almost, and it's just 630, I think, california.
Speaker 1:Yes it's early here, so we appreciate that. So Chit Chat is the quote of the week. It's by Ella Baker. Give light and people will find a way. You guys, we are on a break until the late summer, early fall, but our conversation will continue in our Facebook group, coffee Chit Chat. So make sure you join on Facebook and we're on Instagram, so start following us today to stay connected. We'll see you next season with more exciting episodes of Coffee Chit Chat.
