Ep#171 The Discipline Trap – Why Pushing Harder Won’t Cure Your Burnout

Is self-discipline the cure for burnout—or part of the problem?

If you’ve ever told yourself, “I just need to get my act together,” or felt ashamed for not being able to power through exhaustion, this episode is for you.

We unpack one of the most damaging myths around burnout: that you can fix it by trying harder. For high-performing professionals, this trap is especially dangerous. The very trait that’s propelled you forward—relentless self-discipline—can become the force that drives you to collapse.

In this honest and compassionate conversation, you’ll learn:
-Why self-discipline often becomes toxic in burnout.
-The emotional cocktail behind “just push through” (shame, fear, guilt…).
-How to reframe discipline as self-loyalty and protection, not punishment.
-The difference between surviving and thriving in your career.
-What it really takes to recover—without stepping away from your job.
-Plus: a powerful story of Dex’s own burnout and the turning point that changed everything.

✨ Burnout recovery isn’t about being harder on yourself—it’s about finally learning to stand with yourself.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction and Welcome
• 1:03 The Myth of Self-Discipline in Burnout
• 1:55 The Reality of Burnout
• 4:03 Redefining Self-Discipline
• 6:25 Personal Burnout Story
• 7:14 Path to Recovery
• 8:42 Conclusion and Invitation

Transcript

[00:00:00] Hi everyone. My name's Dex Randall, and this is the Burnout to Leadership Podcast where I teach professional men to recover from burnout and get back to passion and reward at work.

[00:00:22] Hello my friends and welcome back. I'm Dex, and this week we are diving into something I hear all the time: I just need to be more disciplined and I can beat this burnout. If that thought has crossed your mind, this episode is especially for you. 

[00:00:39] And just before we begin, if this podcast has been helpful to you, please do share it with someone else who needs it too. Maybe they're struggling in silence, not knowing where to turn. Also, if you feel moved to leave a review or a rating of the podcast, that helps me reach even more people who need this support. Thank you so much. 

[00:01:01] Now let's get into it. Self-discipline.

[00:01:04] It's a very common approach to fixing burnout, especially for professionals who feel like they're failing and think they should just try harder. Have you ever thought that? If I were more organized, more focused, more professional, I could fix this, I could get back on top? That voice in your head is often powered by imposter syndrome.

[00:01:28] You've been trained to solve problems, you want to solve them, and when things go off track, it feels like the solution must be to double down and self-correct. But here's the truth. Trying harder is one of the biggest myths of burnout. It's right up there with changing jobs will fix it. Or once this project is done, I'll feel better.

[00:01:51] Or I just need to squeeze in a workout before sunrise. You might have tried pushing through already yourself, working longer hours, forcing yourself to focus, being harder on yourself. Ask yourself what happened. Because essentially your time and energy are finite. And let's be honest, so are your passion, patience, and goodwill.

[00:02:15] And when these run low, especially over cumulative weeks and months, you hit the wall, you start snapping at people, you can't focus, you feel like you're dragging yourself through every day, and there's this quiet dread inside that it might never end. And that's not laziness. It's simply burnout. 

[00:02:38] Of course, you can borrow energy for a short term burst if you're very tired. Like a student cramming for exams, or closing a major deal, or caring for a newborn. That's not sustainable and you know it! Because you've done it, repeatedly, at great cost. 

[00:02:59] There's a Spanish mint I once visited in Potosí, Bolivia. In the cellar of that mint, a giant wooden wheel powered the coin presses, and that wooden wheel was driven every day by four donkeys going round and round in the cellar. And it was said that each of those donkeys died of exhaustion after just three months. 

[00:03:24] That is what burnout is. That's what happens when you keep whipping up more self-discipline to push yourself forward, long after your body and soul have called time. So now here's the paradox. Self-discipline is probably one of the reasons you got so far in your career in the first place. It's probably produced magic, results, excellence. But in burnout, the same approach can betray you, because most people in burnout have plenty of discipline. What they're missing is clarity, compassion, nervous system regulation, and aligned motivation. 

[00:04:03] Let's flip the frame.

[00:04:06] Self-discipline becomes healing when it's redefined as following through on small acts of self loyalty, not just productivity; holding boundaries that protect your energy even when it's hard; saying no to things that deplete you; choosing real food, rest, movement, and joy, even if your inner critic scoffs at the idea. All of that's protective, that's restorative, that's discipline with love as the driving force.

[00:04:40] But when it becomes about forcing yourself through exhaustion, fixing your flaws, meeting impossible standards, using guilt, fear, or shameless fuel, you're not healing. You're breaking down further. In fact, many burnout, recovery efforts fail because they're just more overwork in disguise. HR programs and leadership driven solutions often fall into the same trap. " How can we get more work out of the donkey?" But the better question is, "How can we make the donkey glad to be alive? So it wants to give of its best?"

[00:05:22] In burnout recovery, your greatest responsibility, and I will help you with this, is to stop neglecting yourself, to put your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual wellbeing ahead of your desire to meet every demand.

[00:05:38] And here's the good news. You don't need to quit your job or take months off to do this. Most of my clients recover while staying in the same role, because once you learn how to protect your energy, even in a high pressure environment, everything starts to shift. 

[00:05:57] Of course, at some point we will get to time management, but not the rigid color coded kind. I mean real energy stewardship. Because if you are in burnout, I guarantee you are over-functioning, under boundaried, avoiding some tasks, obsessing over others, procrastinating, perfecting, and of course, running on fumes. 

[00:06:25] I know because I did it too. When I was a high performing leader, I could move mountains, but in burnout, I was barely functioning and I was ashamed of that.

[00:06:37] Eventually, I couldn't fake it anymore. One Tuesday morning, I walked out of a meeting knowing deep down I would never come back. And a few weeks later, I had a heart attack. I had no help. I didn't ask. I didn't know who to ask. And the only discipline I had left was to turn up every day, haggard hollow, hiding behind my monitor, hoping no one would see how far I'd fallen. If you are somewhere in that story, I am so sorry, and I want you to know you don't have to stay there. 

[00:07:14] You can't begin real time discipline until you start supporting yourself back to health. Burnout recovery isn't about doing more. It's about doing differently. And most of all, it's about working through difficult emotions like guilt, shame, anxiety, imposter syndrome, rage, resentment, grief, and exhaustion. All that stuff you've been told to push down. We clear that with care, with skill, with love. 

[00:07:45] You don't get healed by the stick. You get healed by the carrot. By reconnecting with your power, your joy and your dignity. Burnout is not a failure of discipline. It's a failure of connection to yourself, your values, your limits, and your longings. And once that reconnection begins, the right kind of discipline, life giving, soulful, strong, emerges naturally.

[00:08:14] You'll know your healing when you start having exciting ideas again, when you feel your mojo coming back, when your discipline becomes a form of devotion, not a whip. So please, if you are in burnout, don't try and fix it with a 5:00 AM dog walk, a 6:00 AM gym session, a 12 hour work day, and a return to emails after dinner.

[00:08:36] There is an easier way, a better way, a way that works, and I'd love to help you find it. Come and talk to me. Tell me about what's going on for you. Join the three month Burnout Recovery Coaching Program, and let's make a plan that works for you, that restores your energy, your focus, your relationships, and your joy, and of course, your success.

[00:08:59] I promise there's a way back. 

[00:09:02] That's what I have for you today. I will catch you next time with more burnout-healing ideas.