Ep#201 10x Results with Psychological Flexibility

When I first stepped into leadership, I kept doing what had always worked —  analysing everything and making the right call.
It strangled my team’s freedom.

Sound familiar?

If you’re a driven professional who’s starting to feel the burn, this episode is for you.

We’re talking psychological flexibility — the ability to be present, open, and adaptive, even when your mind and emotions are pulling you in old directions.

You’ll learn:

• Why your success-driven habits might now be holding you back
• How rigidity fuels burnout (and kills creativity, collaboration, and joy)
• What psychological flexibility really means in plain English
• Practical tools to train your mind to respond instead of react
• Why recovering from burnout is the fastest way to amplify leadership impact

You’ll also hear how leaders just like you — brilliant, hardworking, ambitious — trade overthinking and control for authenticity and ease.

This is about maturing into your best leadership self — not by pushing harder, but by loosening your grip.

Because when you recover from burnout and reclaim psychological flexibility, your energy, purpose, and impact multiply naturally.

That’s the real “10x.”

Listen now and learn how to stop leading with fear and start leading with freedom.

To find out more about my 1-on-1 burnout recovery coaching program (with guaranteed results), visit dexrandall.com
and book a free consult.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Burnout Recovery
• 0:22 Personal Leadership Struggles
• 1:18 Common Traits of High Achievers
• 2:25 Case Study: Respectful Leadership
• 3:25 Understanding Psychological Flexibility
• 8:02 The Impact of Beliefs on Performance
• 12:28 Embracing Mindfulness and Self-Reflection
• 15:27 Effective Practices for Change
• 17:12 Transcending Burnout
• 17:47 Next Steps

Transcript

Ep201 10x results wih psychological flexibility

[00:00:00] In my early thirties, finally accepting the promotion they'd been trying to push onto me into leadership, I did not change my M.O. I'd always been feted for making high quality decisions based on thorough analysis. I worked in IT -it kind of worked. And I just kept doing that when they promoted me, but for more people. I strangled my team's freedom with my well-meaning logic.

[00:00:29] And at first, I didn't get that. Being a one man band had served me impeccably until then. Yet now in leadership, I felt like an imposter. Team meetings were uncomfortable, as I struggled to let go of dictatorship, and concede any small improvement my team members dare to suggest. It embarrasses me now to speak of this, as it did even then.

[00:00:56] But in my work with others, I now find myself referring to this period of my career quite often, because the highly trained, skilled, intelligent, and successful leaders that I meet who are burning out use a similar method. Why wouldn't they?

[00:01:14] Their earlier drivers of success led them to be extremely hardworking and self-reliant.

[00:01:19] No one was going to ensure their success like they themselves did.

[00:01:26] They learned to work hard for it, after their parents probably demanded superlative school results and thereafter. For those people, measurable success was everything and it came from inside.

[00:01:41] So if that's you, what's likely ensued is a low level of psychological flexibility.

[00:01:50] You just kept doing what was working, never daring to step outside the lines into some alternative world of Group-think, that looked deceptively like failure.

[00:02:02] One of my clients, for example, a college consultant, who'd run a thriving business for 25 years, was burning out. He tolerated underperforming staff out of loyalty, even though none of them were happy.

[00:02:18] What we worked on together was respectful leadership, honest conversations, that recognized effort, but set clear expectations. Once he opened that dialogue, both of the employees chose to move on, and he replaced them with motivated, self-directed people who helped him expand his business to the next level.

[00:02:41] His loyalty wasn't the problem, it was how he expressed it, and when he aligned it with truth and standards, everyone won.

[00:02:53] So let's look a little deeper, since you are a high achiever, and you probably do want to be an exemplary leader, don't you?

[00:03:02] Firstly, let's define psychological flexibility. It's the ability to be present, open, and accepting of your thoughts and feelings, and to act in ways that align with your values and goals.

[00:03:18] Notice how this leaps directly to your thoughts and beliefs (which might be a bit uncomfortable for you?) and your feelings (even more uncomfortable?).

[00:03:28] So immediately we can see a challenge here.

[00:03:31] If we are not keen to inspect, let alone modulate, our thoughts or beliefs; If we are reluctant to face up to our emotions, then change becomes difficult.

[00:03:45] And since the patterns of our beliefs and emotions were set up very early in life, by others, they may well not align with our personal values and goals. Ouch! 

[00:03:57] Now, we don't really need to feel squeamish about the contents of our thoughts and feelings. We didn't choose them. They're largely learned behavior.

[00:04:10] However, taking responsibility as adults for how they affect us, and the way we now operate in the world, holds enormous potential for waves of change to come that can significantly reduce our future suffering and create the environment for greater success, openness and enjoyment.

[00:04:31] And that's what I help clients to achieve.

[00:04:33] Having practiced first, of course, and thereafter continuously, on myself.

[00:04:38] It really is a self maturation. To be true to the real you rather than trying to be someone else. And as I said that, my mind is giving me this uncharitable thought, telling me that we have been stuck in arrested development. To an extent, every adult is, unless they've consciously chosen to grow out of their childhood patterns into more authentic, deeply resonant ways of being, that give them the ultimate freedom they seek.

[00:05:16] So you have within you the power to achieve this. Be bold.

[00:05:21] Mindfulness is one way to, to connect intentionally with this, with your present inner state, your thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations, and even your stories, your histories.

[00:05:34] But sometimes, that stimulus can present by itself even without mindfulness. Our early learned behaviors that prickle us so uncomfortably, and compel us to behave in ways that even we don't like, or that we can see aren't taking us where we want to go, we suddenly become aware of them for a reason. It's suggesting that change is ready to happen.

[00:06:02] So, be kind to yourself, if you are at that jumping off point. 

[00:06:06] It's really why you're here listening to this podcast, so kudos to you.

[00:06:11] And one of the ways that these old patterns shows up, usually rather embarrassingly, is as imposter syndrome. We notice how we're not performing well and secretly wonder how on earth no one else is noticing. Or if they are, how come we still have our job?

[00:06:29] Anger, shame, frustration and patience, irritability and self-criticism can all point to these inner beliefs that are hurting us, and these patterns are inherited. Look back at your family and see if you can spot the links. Who was like that in your antecedents?

[00:06:51] If you can, you might immediately get an inkling of why you have those beliefs and why your, for example, your parents might have had those beliefs. And as a side note, if your parents taught you to think in ways that are not serving you now, or indeed never really did, then their intention was almost certainly from love. For you to have the best and most successful life possible.

[00:07:17] So we lay no blame on ourselves for our beliefs and thoughts, nor on other people. We simply notice and we adjust our sails now as required. We are grownups. We can do that without hurting anyone else, or ever even mentioning how we are changing.

[00:07:37] Others will see the difference in us in any case.

[00:07:39] So what is a belief? A belief is just a thought you've had a lot. That's worn a neural pathway in your brain. It's just a thought habit, and like any habit, you can unlearn it and learn a new one. Luckily for us, this is neuroplasticity.

[00:07:58] For example, if you believe that achieving only distinction is permissible: If you never thought that again, how would that affect your work? And your life?

[00:08:10] Would you collapse in torpor? Becoming slovenly? And achieve nothing? It's not very likely, is it? Or would you in fact keep up your intellectual rigor and your work ethic anyhow and just add a little creative flare and freedom?

[00:08:28] So I think people who think they're going to crash, if they let go a little. If they perceive that this process of becoming adaptable is going to lower their standards. It's actually not true. That isn't what happens. What happens is you just get a greater freedom to be you, and that actually improves your capacity to deliver solutions and solve problems, and to collaborate with people.

[00:08:54] We can lose a demanding or damaging belief, that has caused us to overwork and overstress for a lifetime, without forfeiting any performance or success. It actually turns out to be quite the contrary, it will improve our results.

[00:09:12] Just that little bit of letting go. That freedom.

[00:09:15] The secret of how my clients outperform their previous best, once they recover from burnout, is simply that they take the rod off their own back. And then they have an upwelling of passion and fulfillment that creates its own space and momentum.

[00:09:32] They don't lose any skills.

[00:09:34] They just gain a refreshing ease, that simplifies execution and multiplies the potency of collaboration and leadership.

[00:09:44] Take my client, Tim, another high achiever who learned to pause before reacting. Instead of defending his every decision, he started inviting his team's ideas and listening.

[00:09:57] Within weeks, his stress dropped considerably. His meetings transformed and his team's output soared.

[00:10:04] Nothing mystical. This is just psychological flexibility in action.

[00:10:10] So if you are burning out, it's worth noting, without self-recrimination, if and how mental rigidity is killing your performance and joy.

[00:10:23] How might clinging to old habits, thoughts, or emotions block your growth and fuel burnout? 

[00:10:31] If you have a typical self-defeating strategies of burnout, they're likely to have been born from self-protection -to spare you emotional pain, judgment, failure, rejection, or loss. To keep people on side. 

[00:10:48] But that probably isn't working too well, now that you're overworked and shut down.

[00:10:54] And if not, is it possible that you're an adult using a child's coping strategies?

[00:11:01] If so, did you inherit these from a parent who never fully matured enough to solve their own fears? 

[00:11:09] Psychological flexibility is the secret to adapting, thriving, and choosing your response, rather than painfully reacting.

[00:11:18] And that's why I invite you to consider if you have beliefs that you feel are holding you back. They might have been blind spots once, but now they attract your attention. They're presenting for healing and upgrade. And if this is what's happening for you, then let me tell you this already.

[00:11:36] You are good for that. You can do it.

[00:11:39] We, each of us have the power of choice in every moment. We had a lot less in childhood with our dependency on adult approval, but that's no longer true.

[00:11:51] You are not powerless to your thoughts and feelings and flexibility gives you options. Small shifts in perspective can actually create massive change in life, leadership and stress resilience.

[00:12:05] And here's a place to start. You might begin by identifying, writing out your personal values and ethics. Just get to know them. And writing down your current goals.

[00:12:17] And then thinking about what separates you from those values and those goals that's within your control. What are the obstacles that you yourself can remove?

[00:12:28] How might you adapt yourself, to make success easier? What needs to go overboard? What belief can you adopt that supports you better than a previous one? Since you can choose to believe anything you like.

[00:12:45] So what is that like in terms of practical flexibility? How do you train your mind like a muscle to become psychologically flexible?

[00:12:55] Really, it depends on creating strategies for noticing, accepting and responding to whatever's happening in the world instead of resisting your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions. Instead of fighting yourself about them and getting cranky.

[00:13:12] Mindfulness is one of the most obvious ways to connect very precisely with your inner experience and see it and feel it. It's really, I think of it as a lifelong growth and self-support asset. Once you learn to tune into your own mind and body and the signals that it's trying to give you so that you can heal. 

[00:13:34] Of course, if you've learned to meditate, you'll know, that the initial experience can be a little bit daunting because it's where your whole unattended backlog of pain take this window of opportunity to pop up for attention and healing all at once. If that happens for you, try not to hate on it. Just try to relax a little bit because it's only energy passing through your body. It won't actually hurt you. And its intention is to help you heal. To stimulate you to heal.

[00:14:09] So if a whole bunch of backlog of pain comes up for you. When you choose to bear it quietly and just sit and observe it, it's going to subside all by itself. So, if you can, if that happens for you, just accept it as the gift of potential healing and gently let go of your resistance.

[00:14:32] Of course, there's many other alternatives that do a similar thing to mindfulness, such as walking in nature, swimming, singing, yoga, breath work, they all have a similar connecting, freeing and harmonizing effect on the mind, body, and soul. So experiment. See what works for you.

[00:14:54] Additionally, I teach my clients a self-reflective practice, to draw this data out from the mind and body in a way that invites positive change and positive reinforcement. It's actually based on Cognitive Behavior Therapy principles that are proven to support habit change.

[00:15:13] And better still and works immediately in the moment. One can see clearly in precise detail, the effect one negative belief has on a specific situational response and outcome. 

[00:15:29] It's impressively effective. I wouldn't be without the tool myself. 

[00:15:33] A psychotherapeutic method, if that's what you prefer, is called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy ACT act. It's another way to utilize mindfulness and neuroscience to achieve change. I'm not going to delve further into that here because I'm not a therapist, but you're welcome to research further if that attracts you.

[00:15:54] And here's the way that I select practices, that I use myself in my own development, and I teach my clients. Every practice I use has been chosen on seven criteria. It needs to be self empowering, simple to learn, and practice, needs to solve problems rapidly, support habit change, be scientifically proven, sustainably resolve burnout and promote authenticity, success, and joy. So the practices that I've talked about today follow those criteria, and I do encourage you to have a little experiment with them and just do some of the writing exercises for yourself. If you perked up when I mention those, that's your mind saying, "Hey, I'm trying to talk to you!". Probably!

[00:16:50] And transcending burnout. So the whole process of transcending burnout will 10 times your results at work, because you're going to be less fearful, shut down and reactive. Success will come more easily and be more fun. Your passion will return. And achieving this transformation does require psychological flexibility, but that isn't the best part.

[00:17:14] Psychological flexibility actually feels more natural, congruent, connecting, and joyful. You just get to be yourself, back in flow.

[00:17:25] So that's what I have for you today.

[00:17:26] If you see signs in yourself of psychological inflexibility, you can practice what you've heard in today's podcast episode.

[00:17:35] If you would like personal support with that, join my one-on-one guaranteed Burnout Recovery Coaching program.

[00:17:43] Visit Dexrandall.com and book a consult first to talk with me about your challenges and goals and make a plan to reach them.

[00:17:53] Talk to you next time on the pod. Thank you so much for listening today. That's over and out.