Practical Growth: A Self-Recovery Podcast

The Truth About Your Manifestations (And How to Make Them Happen)

August 17, 2023 Season 3 Episode 306
Practical Growth: A Self-Recovery Podcast
The Truth About Your Manifestations (And How to Make Them Happen)
Practical Growth | Self-Recovery
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Have you been putting in the work of making major manifestations happen? You've probably done the journaling, you've done the meditation, and changed your energy...but nothing is happening. Why? Why aren't you getting what you want?

In this episode, I'm going to reveal the truth about manifestations. Specifically, I'm going to show you why your manifestations aren't working and how you can turn that around.

Let's face it, you're not getting the truth from your gurus.

You're not getting it from your bestie or your therapist.

This is the episode that's going to change it all for you. Ready to make more money? Find a better relationship?  Buy your first home or just find some peace? Get ready to fast-track your manifestations after you hear my 4-step process to making *real* magic happen across your life. Listen now! 

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Focusing on what Matters in Life & Ditching what Doesn't

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Practical Growth podcast with me, ebi Johnson, author, nlpmp and cognitive reappraisal coach. This is the podcast created for people like you, people looking for more, more health, more peace, more happiness. Each week, I explore a new topic in pop psychology and help you build a better life and better relationships. Join me for special guests, exciting ideas and practical advice that you can use to improve your life from the inside out. Let's get into it. Hello, hello, hello, my lovelies, it is me, ebi, your favorite writer, your favorite coach, your favorite TikTok personality and cognitive reappraisal specialist, and I'm back, back, back back at it today, with another great episode. That might ruffle your feathers, but I think this one is going to be one of the biggest, best and most beneficial episodes that you're going to get from me thus far. What are we going to be talking about? What are we going to be talking about? It's another buzzword that is on everyone's lips Manifestation, manifestation. You hear this everywhere Manifestation, manifestation, manifestation. My business coach talks about manifestation. You know your tarot readers, your spiritual gurus, your, your pastor at church is probably talking about manifestations. This word is absolutely everywhere and, as we know, when that happens, when a word explodes like that across our culture and kind of enters the zeitgeist. There's a little bit of good and there's a little bit of bad. But what I've been noticing specifically is a trend in my clients, in my readers, is that they're doing all of this hard work of manifesting. They're researching, researching, researching, but nothing's happening, right? They're trying to change their energy, they're trying to change up the way they think about themselves and the way they speak, but still somehow, mystically, magically, the money's not showing up on the doorstep, the the relationship isn't magically appearing, they're not writing off in a pumpkin coach over to the sunset. Right? What is happening? Why are so many people probably you included failing to make these manifestations happen? Let's just jump right into it. You know, manifestation is super, super popular and it's popular for a reason. Right, because essentially, what is manifesting? It's getting what you want, right, kind of? Kind of the word has become a little watered down and a little misleading and it's a lot more helpful if you actually understand what manifestation is. Right, because the way it's kind of been co-opted by these pseudo spiritual communities, manifestation is. You know, you buy all the journals and you say all the right words and then, magically, your life just does whatever you want it to do, and that's a very romantic thought, but it's not exactly true. It's not entirely true. There's nuggets of truth in that idea. Right, you have to think certain ways, you have to speak certain ways, especially to yourself, in order to create the life that you want. That is undeniably true. But those things alone won't bring you the happiness and success that you claim to want. And so here is why these are the core reasons why your manifestations, as hard as you're writing in those journals and joining those groups and trying to be positive, this is why they're not working. Okay, these are the reasons why they're not working. Let's go right into it. So the first big reason why your manifestations aren't working is because, quite frankly, a lot of you have no idea what you really want, and that's especially true for the trauma survivors who are listening to this, the people pleasers, the people with CPTSD and a history of narcissists or a history of really bad relationships. Those people, us we spend so much time chasing the validation of others, trying to be loved by others, trying to make ourselves small for others, trying to fit ourselves into the boxes of others. The majority of us also came from backgrounds in which we never got to develop a stable and healthy sense of self while we were children. Right, we had narcissistic parents, abusive parents, toxic parents who didn't make it safe for that to happen. So we went out into the world with no idea of who we are. And when you don't know who you are, you can't know what you want, you can't know what is aligned to that person, you can't know what those person's values are if you don't know who that person is. So you can sit there and write in that journal all day long and have all these positive thoughts and you can try as hard as you want to create this perfect life around you, but if it's someone else's life, it's not going to work, honey. It's just not going to work. So, first and foremost, if you keep trying to manifest something and it's not happening, it's because it's not the right thing for you. It's not the right pathway. You're meant to get that money some other way. You're meant to find that relationship in another place. Whatever it is, you're getting it wrong and you need to tweak it and figure out what it is you really want. Number two, and this is going to hit about 90% of you and you're not even going to realize this applies to you. The second reason that your manifestations aren't working is because you're not taking any action. It's not any action. Purchasing a journal is not action. To become a multi-million dollar CEO in your company, that is one of the most miniscule steps in the process. And if you think that just writing your feelings or your hopes or your dreams over and over and over again which is you know it's not necessarily your fault, because there's a lot of people who position themselves as experts out there, who essentially poise manifestation as saying and writing the right things or just being around the right people, and they've kind of misled you. Manifestation is a process and it is an active word. Active word, action. You have to take action If you want to become that multi-million dollar CEO. Yeah, you might have to buy some journals along the way, but what you really need to do is figure out how to register your business, how to, you know, diversify your offers, how to widen your sales funnel, how to create passive income streams for yourself, how to delegate tasks. There are so many other active things that you have to do to become that multi-million dollar CEO and so little of it. So little of it has to do with getting up at 4.30 am and saying the right mantras three times and then writing something nice about yourself in a journal. If that's all you're doing, if all you're doing is trying to change the delusional thoughts that you're having, the fantasies, if you're trying to just build grander fantasies without actually acting, then, yeah, your manifestation is not going to work. Now the third big reason and I just had a client the other day who kind of came to this we came to this realization together, right, because she was, you know, expressing some frustrations that she had and she was basically explaining that, you know, I've been doing this business now for years and it's doing really well, but I'm not getting any support from anyone around me and it makes me feel really defeated and I'm not sure how to express that to them and I'm not sure how to get them to encourage me, because it's great to, you know, make a sale from a stranger or to get high-fived by these people online, because she was advertising her business on TikTok, you know. But I still don't, like I want to give up sometimes because it feels like my friends and my family don't see me and they don't support me. This was the block to her manifestations right. She was doing all the things. She had changed the way she thought about herself, she had built this confidence that had allowed her to build this business, and then she had actively taken steps to educate herself and actively create this really, really popular skincare business that she was running Thank you for watching. And all of that was being threatened because she was surrounded by miserable people, miserable people who resented her for having the courage to make it happen for herself. And I'm telling you right now, if you are someone who is actively trying to manifest a good life, a great life, but you're surrounding yourself with people who see no way but down, who want to drag you down, it's not coming in for you. It is not going to come in for you. You need to surround yourself in success, whatever your definition of success is. If that is building a business, then you need to surround yourself with people who have been successful at building the types of businesses that you want to build. If that success to you is having a healthy, balanced family with two partners who are actively engaged, then guess what sweetheart. You need to find a community of those people to invest in. You need to surround yourself with people who are already doing what you're doing. That's a part of putting yourself on the path to where you want to be, and it's not necessarily about who you know. It's that really raising your energy, changing your thoughts, putting yourself in a place where you can see oh, the things I want to do are a reality and I can and will do them because all of these people around me have done it. It's genuinely that simple. It's not roses and crystals and massages and meditating on the beach. I'm sorry, that looks very pretty on Instagram, but if you go home to a miserable environment with people who then reaffirm the idea that you suck, guess what direction you're going in. Last but not least, this is the fourth big reason that your manifestations aren't happening and why they will continue to not happen for you, and if you don't change this, that's it. You might as well just just go outside and burn those those expensive journals you've been piling up. If your manifestations are not working, then you need to consider that maybe, just maybe, there's some deeper work that hasn't been done. Maybe it's time to do your shadow work, because here is the reality, and this is especially true if you're someone who has very kind of, not grandiose as in a narcissistic way. But you are just an ambitious person. You have big goals for yourself, big plans, big visions, desires, fantasies, whatever it is. If you're serious about getting that thing, you have to become the best possible version of yourself, the best possible version of self that would exist in that space. So, again, if that means having a big, happy family, then you need to become the healthiest possible version of yourself that's going to turn into a mother or a father. If that means you want that big, multi-million dollar business, then guess what? You have to become that version of self who is capable of handling the stress and demands of that lifestyle right Period. Getting to that place takes deep work, deep work and a lot of action. It means accepting the parts of yourself you don't like, incorporating them into your public face, into who you are, so that you can be whole, so that you can be real, so you're not living a double life. Okay, you got to stop hiding from the trauma, hiding from the darkness of your past, and get serious about who you're going to be and what that person wants. And then, more than that, you got to know that you deserve it, and a lot of that comes down to dealing with your inner child, dealing with your past trauma, getting through it, so that you can get over it emotionally and start taking the action that creates the life you want and deserve. Okay, that's it. Those are the four big reasons. So you know, did you? Have you seen those in your life? Have you seen yourself committing those kind of manifestations since blocking your own quote-unquote abundance? Okay, well then, here's the thing I'm gonna give you the most realistic Manifestation plan you've ever gotten, ever, ever. And I know because I digested a lot of these Bad boys before I got onto this microphone right? So here they are. There's four steps, there's only four steps. So get your pen and pencil out. We're gonna breeze through them, I'm gonna break each one of them down for you and then you're gonna take them and over the next week, you're gonna apply them to your life. Stop, reassess, look back and see how much more positivity, positive, good Affirming things you've been able to attract into your life. Okay, so let's go first one create, figure out, identify your true sense of self. Now, this is not some delusional self-help thing, right, because this figuring out who you are has become so Convoluted and modern self-help. It is not that complicated, right, it is not that complicated. Sit down, get out a sheet of paper and write or your computer if you want to type it. Write down your ideal future, what it looks like, what it feels like, what it smells like, where is it at, who is in it? What do they make you feel like? What do they look like, what do they smell like? What do they do for work? What are their hopes, their values, their goals All of those things. Figure them out. Figure out your ideal future. Okay, once you have and it doesn't have this can change. Right, this can change. It does not have to be a concrete thing, but just sit down right now, in this moment. What is your ideal future? Okay, then Look at that ideal future. What kind of person, what kind of person exists in that world? Who are they? What do they do? Why do they do it? What are their motivations? What are their intentions? That's who you want to be. That's it. And then, all of a sudden, you just list that person's personality, traits, their goals, their beliefs. That's your sense of self, that's who you genuinely want to be, that is who you are capable of becoming. Or you wouldn't be able to think of those things Right. They wouldn't exist in your mind if you weren't capable of creating them for yourself. So that's the first step figure out who you are or who you want to be, and then start becoming that person Now, becoming your true self. That will up your manifestations into a higher gear, right, because you're gonna find it a lot easier to get what you want when you're being authentically who you are, where you authentically need to be, around the people who authentically bring a sense of comfort or fulfillment of some type to your life. That's just natural. But the second thing that you're gonna have to do, if you're really going to up the game and go for these big manifestations right, like this career or this family or whatever it is the house, the money, the cars, the people, the things, whatever it is you've got to figure out what your freaking values are and this comes up again with my clients again and again and again. It's some of the earliest work that I do with them. Your values are the things that matter most to you, so you've got to sit down and figure out okay, what do I value in terms of family? Is it connectedness? Is it creating a future generation of people who are healthier than the last. What is it? What do you value? A lot of the times, my clients will come to me and they're like, oh, I want this, I want that, I want this, I want that. Okay, well, why? They can't answer it because they haven't thought about that. But when you sit down and you figure out what you truly value, so let's say, when it comes down to it, one of your core values is having a powerful, strong body. Okay, that's one that comes up a lot, a lot of my clients. They want to have these bodies that are reliable, that are strong, that help to support them and that they feel like they're really kind of confident in. Okay, that's a really good value. So then, when you are making your decisions in life, when you're starting to decide well, I want to go down a new career path, what do I do? Well, if one of your core values is being active, is moving around, you probably don't want to pursue a career of sitting at a desk doing data entry right, you're gonna want to do something active, something in which your body is really involved, where you're really getting out there, putting it through its paces and enjoying being confident and physical in who you are. That's an example of a value aligning with a manifestation, because then that's how you get the career that you actually want, because you figured out what you value. Figure out your values and you will high speed, fast track your manifestations. Now the third step here in manifestations has nothing to do with writing affirmations over and over in a journal. Quite the contrary, you have to develop courage, courage. Now notice, I'm not talking about confidence and self-esteem, because those things come as a result of courage. Courage is Taking steps, taking action even though you're scared, even though you're insecure, and it's doing it because you know that it's right. That is what manifesting things in your life takes. Okay, cause it's not easy. It's not just thinking a certain thing, it's taking action. It's taking action in the face of unbeatable odds. Sometimes, okay, it's taking action with the expectation that you will create a miracle for yourself. Okay. And that takes courage, because there's always gonna be insecurities, there's always gonna be fear, there's always gonna be hesitation, because you don't always know what's on the other side of that action that you have to take to fulfill that manifestation. So you have to have courage. You have to have faith in yourself, faith in your values, faith in that vision, that sense of self, that you have, that future that you're designing, so that you can act and act and act and act again. Until you have that confidence, until you have that self-esteem, there's no waiting to be this like, strong, capable person, with no fear to get what you want. You have to act until you become that person. So that third step in getting your manifestations, in making them happen fast, develop your courage. Take small steps every single day that allow you to build up a tolerance, a resilience to life, to rejection, to people saying no, to not getting what you want, so that you were strong enough to take action and get what you want. That's real manifestation. Last but not least, number four and you're gonna have to just buckle up, buttercup, because I'm about to get on a soap box and hand you a sermon you have to get stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, stubborn so that you can take stubborn, consistent action in the name of the things that you were trying to manifest. The thoughts alone aren't gonna cut it. You're gonna have to be uncomfortable, do uncomfortable things, put yourself out there and start taking what you want, taking action to put yourself in the places that you can get what you want. So you're strong enough, smart enough, whatever it is, to get the thing that you're trying to get. Stubbornness has to come into this people. Stubbornness and what I've heard a lot on the internet lately is like you have to be delusional, be delusional to get what you want. Just be delusional. That's dangerous. Okay, delusion means you're not attached to reality. Stubborn is a much, much more realistic term. It's a healthier term. It's a better action to take. Why? Here's why A stubborn person is not ignorant of reality. Okay, like a delusional person, a stubborn person is still capable of seeing the odds and also of seeing the people around them and how their actions affect those people. A delusional person is not. That's why so many narcissists are delusional. It goes hand in hand with a lack of empathy. But a stubborn person doesn't go I'm just gonna do this and it's all gonna be magic and it's all gonna happen. No, a stubborn person says I see the challenges. I see that people like me don't get this thing. I see that I'm gonna have political obstacles, social obstacles, I'm gonna have to lose friends, I'm gonna have to lose family, but I'm getting that anyway. Be stubborn so that you can take stubborn, consistent action towards your manifestations. Don't be delusional and think it's gonna be handed to you. Be stubborn and tell the world I'm taking this, because this is what I have to have to be a happy, whole and productive member of this world that we're all a part of, and that is it. That is the most realistic blueprint that you're gonna get from anyone, anyone on the internet. I don't care who you stack that up against. I'm willing to put that against anyone that I've seen a manifestation plan from. You. Gotta develop that sense of self, figure out your core values, build the courage the courage to go after what you want. And then, number four, stubbornly take action toward it every single day, no matter what somebody tells you, no matter what they tried to deny you. Okay, and that is where the rubber meets the road of those pretty journals you've been writing in and all those mantra affirmation classes you've been taking. That's where the rubber meets the road and you start making things happen for yourself. What do you think? Have you been getting manifestation all wrong? Have you been seeing it as a passive way to get good with the universe, a passive way to get what you want handed to you? Well then, let me proudly be the first to tell you, via the universe. It's not gonna happen, okay, it ain't gonna happen that way. This is your sign get up and do the thing that you know you have to do. Take action every single day, no matter how small, even if that action is. I have to take a day off today to sleep so that I can take big action tomorrow. Take action every single day to create the self, the life that brings you the most peace, happiness, fulfillment, reward. That's just not so miserable. And that's it. That is today's episode. Thank you so so much for listening. I hope you got something great out of this. I hope that this is inspired. I hope that this has completely and radically transformed the way you have been thinking about manifestation. Please, please, let it be okay. If you wanna learn more about manifestation with me, you can get coached by me. Head over to therealebjohnsoncom and click on Working With Me to find out more about that. If you wanna learn more about Cognitive Reappraisal and my coaching styles, head over to TikTok at the realebjohnson. Or you can find me on Instagram under the same name. For everyone else, continue reading me on mediumcom. I know, I know, I know, guys, it's rough, it's rough, but you can get me on mediumcom, you can find me on Substack and, of course, I'll be here next week with an exciting episode on dun dun dun spiritual abuse, right, so we'll see you next week. I hope you have a great week. I hope you have a great weekend For everyone else. Keep your heads up, keep your eyes on the stars and keep moving forward. Bye, bye.

Common Mistakes in Manifestation
(Cont.) Common Mistakes in Manifestation
Manifesting Your Desires